As some of you know, I have been on a hiatus due to medical issues. Thankfully, my doctors have found a treatment that makes it bearable to sit at my computer and write again. But unfortunately, with my auto-immune disease, my body is no longer physically able to continue to work. And here in the United States, getting any kind of disability benefits takes years and is an unnecessarily long and arduous process. So, I'm reinstating my Patreon. As I've had to quit my job, I need to do this to supplement the income the hubby brings in because, in this economy now, it is just needed. I will be posting all my fics, including the ones for bingos, on there first and to Tumblr a few weeks later.
I have three different tiers with different benefits. The lowest one just $3 a month. If you can't afford to join, I understand, trust me. But if you can, it will be greatly appreciated! And even if you can't join, please reblog and help get it out there for people to see. I love and appreciate every single one of my readers! Y'all are awesome (as Dean would say) 😂 I will link my Patreon below. Also, my series You'll Accompany Me is already posted in it's entirety on Patreon.
patreon.com/jensengirl83
Tagging for help to spread the word. Tags below the cut.
A/N: Thanks @jensengirl83 for the gif! Based off of a real conversation I’ve had with my husband when I beat him in this very specific detail of car trivia.
The sound of Baby’s door creaking open woke Dean from a deep sleep. He sat up slightly and turned to see his brother sticking his head in.
“Dean, why are you sleeping in the car?” Sam asked.
“Mistakes were made, Sammy,” he replied as he leaned back in the seat again.
Fourteen Hours Earlier
”Look, Dean. A car show,” Y/N pointed out excitedly. She was just as excited about cars as Dean was and he was eternally grateful to have found her.
“Alright, let’s get checked into the hotel and then the two of you can go nerd out over those hunks of metal,” Sam snarked without looking up from his phone.
“Careful, Sammy. Wouldn’t want to have to kick your ass again,” she replied with a smirk.
“It’s Sam. And you didn’t kick my ass. I let you win.”
Dean scoffed. “Whatever you have to tell yourself, little brother.”
Two rooms were secured at the local motel - both single beds because of the big car show leaving those rooms the only two available. Sam stayed behind while Y/N and Dean walked to the car show hand in hand.
“Oooh, a Bel Aire,” she said as she dragged Dean over to the car in question.
“Uh huh. And who makes Bel Aire?” he questioned cockily.
“Chevrolet.”
“You sound awfully sure of that, sweetheart.”
Whipping around to face him, Y/N gives Dean a stare. “That’s because I’m right.”
“Wanna bet?”
“Oh?” she replied, raising her eyebrows. “What are you suggesting?”
“If you’re wrong, which you are, I get whatever I want for a week.” Dean grinned cheekily at her as she rolled her eyes.
“And when I’m right?”
“You name it.”
“Deal,” she smirked, pulling up google on her phone. “See?” she snarked turned the phone to face him. “I googled ‘who makes the Bel Aire’ and there’s one answer - Chevy.”
Dean stuttered before hanging his head. “I can’t believe I lost in car trivia.”
“Believe it, baby. And just for that,” she sassed, “you can sleep in yours tonight. The bed is all mine.”
Welcome to Feature Friday, where every Friday I feature a different Fanfic Writer’s blog. This week’s Feature Blog is:
Link to Masterlist.
About the Author:
My name is Brandy. I’ve been writing fanfic since June 2020. I’ve been watching Supernatural since the pilot in 2005! I’m a hardcore Dean/Jensen girl, if my name didn’t give that away lol. I’m a stay at home mom now, but I was a licensed cosmetologist.
Feel free to message me anytime! I love making new friends and talking to new people!
Brandy’s Fave Personal Fics:
Let Him Lie
Summary: Dean and Y/n seemed like they had it all. Dean owning two successful businesses and Y/n a published author but looks can be deceiving.
Why Brandy likes this fic:
This oneshot became the prologue to my series Regret and Redemption. It was my first big multi-chaptered series, and will always have a special place in my heart.
What He Lost
Summary: Dean thinks back on memories with the reader. Replaying what brought about the end of their relationship
Why Brandy likes this fic:
This one of my earlier oneshots. I’m proud of how this one turned out and the twist that people don’t see coming.
Cold
Summary: Dean and the reader have been together for a while, but when she lets certain words slip in a intimate moment between them, can their relationship be saved?
Why Brandy likes this fic:
I can’t really tell you why I like this one as much as I do. It’s just one of my favorites I have written.
Brandy’s Fic Recommendations:
You Say by @superfanficnatural
Summary: Based on the song, You Say by Lauren Daigle.
Why Brandy likes this fic:
This fic is hauntingly beautiful and heart wrenching. It was the first fanfic to ever make me cry! I love it so much!
Views From The Doorway by @downanddirtydean
Summary: Dean’s a really, really good dad to the tiny human y’all made.
Why Brandy likes this fic:
Lyd wrote this fic for my 1k follower challenge, and I love it so much. It’s written beautifully, and the twist you would never see coming!
A Man Of Action by @deangirl93
Summary: While directing his episode of Supernatural, Jensen and Y/N, the female guest star of the week, can’t hide their attraction for each other any longer. A little fun in his trailer is nearly over before it starts, but they find ways to keep each other satisfied.
Why Brandy likes this fic:
This was her first Jensen fic, and I think she killed it! It was hot and steamy, and I love her writing in general!
Thank you for checking out this week’s Friday Feature. Be sure to check out Brandy’s blog, follow, send asks, go crazy! Check out all the fics linked and be sure to REBLOG and COMMENT!
Authors love to know what you think about their work - not just praise, but constructive criticism as well.
Constructive criticism is a helpful way of giving feedback that provides specific, actionable suggestions. Rather than providing general advice, constructive criticism gives specific recommendations on how to make positive improvements. Constructive criticism is clear, to the point and easy to put into action.
Shout out to @talesmaniac89 for the beautiful dividers she created and offered up for us for free! Check out her other resources here.
Would you like your blog to be showcased in a Feature Friday?
Maybe you have a fic you’ve written that you’d like to be included in the weekly Fic Recommendations?
Something you’ve read and loved?
Tag me! Send an ask! Drop a DM!
And as always, Happy Fanfic-ing!
Want even MORE? Check out the Friday Feature Masterlist!
Jensen, what made you realize Y/N was the one you wanted to marry and spend the rest of your life with?
She is gonna make fun of me for this for the rest of our lives, but that morning. New Years. Something changed and I knew that there was no going back. I was all in from the beginning. -Jensen
You’re right, I will hold that over your head forever, ha! -Y/n
Have I already asked to be on your tag list? I don't remember lol
You are not on my taglist but I will add you to it. Do you want to be on my Forever Taglist or Dean/Jensen taglist?
I write only for spn but I sometimes write non reader fics or canon fics. Dean/Jensen taglist will only have the Dean x Reader or Jensen x Reader fics.
I know it has been wayyyy too long since I've been creating anything, but my job was sucking the life and creativity out of me. Things have worked out to where I was able to quit my job to be a stay at home mom again. So, I will be finally able to start writing again! I want to thank the ones of you that have stuck around, and I sincerely apologize that it's been so long since I've posted. In the next week or so, I plan to get back to writing You'll Accompany Me, and as many oneshots as my little brain can handle popping out lol. Keep your eyes on this space for new content that I promise will be coming soon!
A/N- Thank you to @deanwanddamons for being my beta. And a HUGE thank you to @wonder-cole and @flamencodiva for being my cheerleaders, ears to listen to my ideas, and having my back and helping me get the inspiration to write this series again!! I love you both!
Song in this chapter is Better Man by Little Big Town
This series is 4 weeks ahead on my Patreon!
https://www.patreon.com/jensengirl83
Y/N woke up full of dread. Today was the meeting at the label, and she didn’t want to go. She didn’t trust her resolve to see Dean again, but she had no choice. They left to go on tour again in a week, and they had to be around each other. She had to suck it up and move on. As much as it hurt to leave Dean in her past, she had to focus on her future, whether he was in it or not. It didn’t matter how much she still loved him, the trust wasn’t there anymore, and you can’t have a relationship without trust.
She sat up with a groan, willing herself to go make coffee and prepare herself for the day. Throwing her legs over the edge of the bed, she grabbed her robe, placing it around her shoulders, and made her way to the kitchen. She decided to check her phone while her coffee brewed. That was a mistake. She had some messages from Sam and a few from Cas, but the vast majority were from Dean, begging for her to talk to him and asking for her forgiveness. She threw her phone down onto the kitchen island in frustration, knowing that seeing him today was going to be a disaster. From the tone of his messages, he’s been hitting the bottle and quite heavily.
Once she had made her cup, she sat down with a sigh. How could she manage to be on tour with him? How were they going to be around the other without fights or tears? Her shoulders sagged in defeat, knowing this was going to be the hardest few weeks of her life, but she owed it to Sam and Cas to keep going. It wasn’t fair to them to ruin what they all worked so hard for. Her phone vibrating on the counter caught her attention.
Sam: Are you coming today?
Freddie: Yes, Sam. Do I really have a choice?
Sam: I know this is hard, but Dean is taking this really bad, Y/N.
Freddie: You don’t think I’m suffering?! I’m hurting too, Sam! I have to take a shower. I’ll see you there.
She turned off her phone after sending the last message. She understood that Sam was worried about his brother, but he wasn’t the only one who was heartbroken, lonely, and just devastated. Calling off their engagement and leaving him was the hardest thing she’d ever done. She knew it was what needed to happen, but that didn’t make it any easier. Throwing back her mug, chugging back the rest of her coffee, she made her way to the bathroom. Hopefully, a long hot shower would help calm her nerves about what the day would bring.
Y/N hit shuffle on her phone, stepping under the spray, letting the music and water wash away her problems for the time being. She needed these few moments of peace before facing everyone for the first time since she and Dean split. Her voice rang through the bathroom in an echo as she sang away her pain. If nothing else, music has always been her therapy. That was until the next song started playing.
Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again
But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
And I know why we had to say goodbye like the back of my hand
And I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man
A better man
The pain in her chest came back in a rush as the tears escaped her eyes without her permission. How did one man have such a hold over her? She wanted to let him go, move on with her life, but it seemed her heart had different plans than her mind.
I hold onto this pride because these days, it's all I have
And I gave you my best and we both know you can't say that
You can't say that
I wish you were a better man
I wonder what we would've become if you were a better man
We might still be in love if you were a better man
You would've been the one if you were a better man
Yeah
As the song wound down to its conclusion, she was a crying mess, yet again. Why did she have to love him so much? Why did it have to hurt so damn bad to leave him in her past? He had betrayed her trust, made her miserable, but she still longed to feel his arms around her, his lips on hers, and it wasn’t fair. No matter how much she wanted to hate him, she was still head over heels in love with the asshole.
Dean wasn’t doing any better. He was sitting on his bed, looking at her picture on his phone. One they had taken in Greece. She was curled up in his arms, her head on his chest as they both smiled into the camera. It was hard to believe that was only a couple of weeks ago. Now, he was in his brother’s guest room, his heart in a million pieces, and longing for the days she was still in his arms and in his bed.
How had they ended up here? Where had they gone wrong? Of course, every relationship has its problems, but people work through them. Why couldn’t they? Why was it always a fight? He knew he had done things wrong, but he had tried to make up for them. It hurt him that she had so little trust in him. He knew the conversation with Cassie sounded horrible, but if she would’ve just given him five minutes to explain. But she couldn’t even do that. The more he thought about it, the angrier and sadder he became. If she would only give him a chance, just one, long enough to explain what she had heard and for him to tell her that there will never be another woman for him. She was his Freddie. No other woman could ever compare to her.
After another glance at her picture, he threw his phone across the room. He couldn’t take it. Seeing her beautiful smile, the love in her eyes for him which had been replaced with a look of disdain the night she left him. All he wanted was to go back home to her. To the house they had shared, had made plans for the future, and talked about bringing up a family in. She’s all he ever wanted, and now, he didn’t know if he would ever have again.
A tear had escaped without him noticing, dropping down onto his hand. He had thought he had cried all the tears he possibly could this last week, but apparently not. He was getting tired of the pain and heartbreak. He wanted to beg her forgiveness, but she had to speak to him before that could happen. He didn’t want to make a scene at the meeting today, but it looked like that would be his only chance to get her to listen to him. So, he had made up his mind. He was going to make her listen, make her hear him out, and pray that she would understand.
Y/N, Sam, Jess, Cas, and Meg were standing outside the meeting room doors. They were waiting for Dean to show. Y/N was silently praying that he would go to the meeting and back home with Sam without an argument. She knew that wasn’t likely, but she could hope. As if he knew she was thinking about him, Dean stepped out of the elevator and walked right up to her.
“We need to talk,” he slurred, evident that he’d been drinking.
“No, Dean. We don’t,”
“Yes, we do! You owe me that much. You walked out on me! The least you can do is give me a chance to explain my side.”
“I’m not arguing with you here. Just go in and let’s get this meeting over with, please,” she growled through grit teeth. She had no intention of doing this with him in front of everyone, “I’m not dealing with this today,”
“Of course not! You had the opportunity to say what you had to say! Fuck what I want to say, huh?” he shouted, the anger bubbling up in his chest, “As long as Y/N gets to say her peace, that’s all that ever matters!”
“Stop it, Dean! You’re drunk. I’m not arguing with you while you’re like this. Actually, I’m not arguing with you again, period,” she yelled, getting chest to chest with him, “This is one reason I left. You can’t put down the booze long enough to have an adult conversation!”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you, Dean. I’m done with this shit!”
“Hey! That’s enough!” Nick’s voice boomed from down the hallway as he walked up to the couple, “This is ridiculous! You’re supposed to leave on tour next week. Which obviously isn’t going to happen now,”
“What?!” they all shouted in unison. Nick couldn’t cancel the tour. It would be the end of their careers.
“You heard me. I’m pushing the tour back two more weeks. In that time, you had better figure this out. If not, the tour and the band being on this label is over, for good,” Nick’s tone left no room for argument, “This meeting is canceled for now. Go home and fix your shit! And Dean, Lisa is your shadow for the duration. You can’t seem to be left unsupervised,”
“No! I don’t want her around him!” Y/N protested, not wanting that bitch within a mile radius of Dean.
“You left him, Y/N. You don’t have a say on who he’s around anymore, do you? It isn’t up for negotiation unless you want me to go ahead and cut the band out now?” Nick glared at her, waiting for her response.
She looked around at Sam and Cas. As much as she didn’t want Lisa around Dean, she couldn’t do this to the others. They had no horse in the race when it came to the problems between her and her ex-fiance. Swallowing her anger and pride, she replied, “No, we’ll figure it out,”
“That’s what I thought. Now, get the hell out of here. I don’t want to hear you two acting like this again,” He walked away without waiting on a reply.
Once he was out of sight, Y/N turned to face her bandmates. They had a look of disgust and frustration plastered on their faces, while Dean looked smug as though he had won. That only further pissed her off, but she wasn’t going to let him know that.
“I’m so sorry, guys. This conversation should have never happened here,” she shot daggers at Dean, “I’m going home to calm down. Again, I’m sorry. I’m not going to let this ruin it for all of you,”
“We still have to talk, Freddie,” Dean’s voice made her stop in her tracks.
“Well, how about you try to sober up for once, and I might think about it. Until then, leave me the hell alone! You’ve done enough,” she huffed, still pissed off, and childishly threw one last jab at him, “Don’t you need to go find your new woman? I’m sure she’s excited to be your ‘shadow’.”
She turned on her heels, heading straight for the elevator to get out of there as fast as she could. What she didn’t see was the utter heartbreak on Dean’s face at her last comment. He didn’t want anything to do with Lisa, and she should know that. The fact that she threw it in his face cut him deep. He didn’t care that everyone was looking at him as he let a tear fall down his cheek at her hurtful words. If she only knew how much she could hurt him with just a few words or a look. Dean walked away in the opposite direction, taking the stairs. He had to get out of there. His idea of explaining himself had blown up in his face, and he needed to be alone. Alone. What he was going to be for the rest of his days now that she obviously didn’t want him anymore.
Y/N was sitting on her couch, two fingers of whiskey in a glass, her eyes red and swollen. Today had been a disaster just as she had predicted, and she and Dean had almost ruined their whole career and everyone else’s. The guilt of hurting Sam and Cas by proxy of her and Dean’s bullshit weighed heavy on her mind, along with the fight everyone had witnessed. What had happened to them? They were so in love once and now couldn’t be in the same room together. Not that she didn’t love him now, but too much had happened between them, and she didn’t think it could ever be repaired. Too many bad memories and harsh words had put a wedge between them that she didn’t know if it could be removed.
A banging on her door made her jump. She had no idea who would show up this late. She walked to the door, and her heart jumped up in her throat. It was Dean, and she knew she couldn’t handle another altercation with him tonight. But she couldn’t leave him out there beating down her front door, so with trepidation, she opened the door.
“What do you want, Dean? Haven’t we said enough already?”
“No. You may have said enough, but I still have a lot to say,” he mumbled, staggering inside the door. Great, he was drunk, again.
“You need to go home and sober up. I’m going to call Sam,” she started to dial Sam’s number when he grabbed her phone and threw it into the living room, “Dean! What the hell?!”
“You’re going to lis-listen to me,” his speech slurred worse than it had this afternoon, “I didn’t do a d-damn thing wrong, and you left me! You left me, Y/N! We were engaged. You took off your ring and left me to sit there and cry! It’s not fucking fair!”
“Fair? You want to know what’s not fair? Me watching Lisa hang all over you while you did nothing! Me having to watch you drink yourself to death instead of talking to me. If you had so much to say, you should’ve said it then. Not now,” she screamed, her breaking point long gone, “You don’t get to come into my house and tell me what I’m going to listen to!”
“This was our house! Do you remember that?! You bought this house as a Christmas gift to me! But now, I’m stuck in my brother’s guest room because y-you are too damn stubborn to admit that you may have some fault in this too!”
“I’m not the one who told their ex that I didn’t want them anymore! You did that, Dean! I heard you, god damn it! How are you going to explain that away, huh?!”
“I was talking about Lisa! I was talking to Cassie about her and the problems she was causing! Cassie asked if you knew that I didn’t want her, and that’s the part of the conversation you heard. But, you couldn’t give me the benefit of the doubt to just get past your fucking insecurities to listen to me! That’s why we’re where we are now.”
The look on Y/N’s face made Dean regret his words instantly. He lost his temper and brought her self-esteem and self-doubt into the argument, and he knew better. Before he could open his mouth to try and apologize, her hand came down on his cheek. He stopped, stunned for a moment that she had hit him. No matter how much or how bad they had fought, she had never hit him before.
“Get out. Get out of my house. I don’t want to see you here again,” her voice was eerily calm, scaring him. “Don’t ever show your face here again. Do you understand? I never want to see you again.”
“But...but, what about the band?” he stuttered.
“I’m out. The three of you can go on without me.”
“Freddie, please, don’t do this,” he pleaded, knowing they needed her.
“I said leave, Dean. I’m done. With you, the band, all of it. Have a nice life,” she said with no hint of a joke in her voice, shoving him out the door and slamming it in his face.
“Fine! You want me gone! I’m gone! You’ll live to regret this!” he slurred as she watched him stumble to the Impala through the window.
“Damn it!” she groaned to herself, grabbing her keys and following him. In her anger, she didn’t think about him being too drunk to drive. Even if she was done with him, she didn’t want him to hurt himself or someone else by driving around intoxicated. She jumped in her car, peeling out of her driveway in an attempt to catch up with him. She was silently cursing herself for not stopping him earlier and letting her hurt feelings get the best of her.
She could see him up ahead, approaching the stop sign at the end of the street. She watched in horror as it seemed like it happened in slow motion as he ran the stop sign and the semi-truck crashed into Baby, sending her rolling down the road four or five times before resting on her top. The sound of the metal crunching and squealing will be a sound she’ll never be able to forget. She was out of her car and running to him faster than she had ever moved in her life, dropping to her knees beside the driver’s side door. The sight was horrific.
“Dean! Dean, please talk to me! Oh, God!” her screams could be heard through the entire neighborhood.
“Fr-Freddie, you’re here,” his voice was barely a whisper as he weakly reached out for her, “I’m so sorry, baby. Please forgive me, sw-sweetheart.”
“Shh...Don’t worry about that right now,” she whispered, barely holding herself together.
“No...N-no. I have t-to say this, Y/N. I can’t go knowing that you think I don’t love y-you. I love you so much, Freddie, and I w-want you to move on. Find s-someone who will m-make you h-happy.” His voice grew weaker by the minute.
“Stop it. Don’t talk like that. You’re going to be fine, Angus. You have to be!” she cried, squeezing his hand, leaning down to kiss his forehead.
He smiled weakly, reaching out to cup her cheek, running his thumb along her bottom lip, “I love you. Please know I always have, and always will.”
She watched as he went limp, his eyes rolling back. She couldn’t lose him like this, “Dean! Baby, answer me! Please, I can’t lose you!” she shook him lightly, “Dean! Please!”
