summary: jermajesty ended things…but his ego won’t let you go. ( yes.. based on let em know by bryson tiller sue me )
an: okay trying a new writing style.. #nervy (and all i did was not use any caps bye) anyways hope you guys enjoy 🫰🏼#loveyall
the first time jermajesty saw it, he thought he was tripping.
he stared at the screen longer than he should’ve, staring at a hand in the corner of your story.
you weren’t loud about it, no face, no case you preached. but jermajesty knew you too well. knew the way you teased, the way you held back enough to make people look twice.
and it definitely worked.
jermajesty was pacing in his room, he just couldn’t believe it, his ego got the best if him. aint no way was he going to let you go. not like that.
he looks for your contact, doesn’t even think twice before calling.
“…hello?” you were confused on why he was calling. it’s been months since you’ve spoken.
“who is he?” jermajesty was quick. he wasn’t playing.
you weren’t really surprised. “s’cuse me?”
“who’s the guy?” his jaw tightened.
“that’s what you called me for?”
“i called cause im not stupid,” he snapped. “i see what you’re doing.”
“and what exactly am i doing jermajesty?”
it’s not like you were doing it on purpose, you just didn’t really expect for him to be so vocal about it.
“you’re just tryna show him off, like you got some to prove.”
“…or maybe, i just moved on.”
jermajesty scoffed, “moved on? onto what? a situationship?”
“at least im not the one who left,” you werr quiet, unsure of how he would react.
“you don’t really get to question what i do after that, i’m not yours.”
jermajesty ran a hand over his face. sure he knew he fucked up by leaving. but he just couldn’t give you what you needed back then.
“i left cause it was complicated. you know this.”
“no…you left because it was easier for you.”
“you wouldn’t have put up with what i was giving, you know it.” he let out a laugh. “i did you a favor.”
“a favor? that’s what that was?,” you sucked the air through your teeth. “i guess i had been too heartbroken to thank you.”
he sat quiet for a while.
jermajesty sighed. “…you really like him?”
the question lingered between you.
you didn’t answer right away, he hates that.
“i asked you something,” he pressed, just softer than before.
you let out a loud exhale, “why does it matter?”
“it matters.” he answered quick.
“it didn’t matter before,” you were quicker. “not when i was there.”
he dropped his head down to his hand, slowing his pace.
“that’s not the same,” he muttered.
the silence stretched. you could physically feel him thinking this time.
“i didn’t think…you’d actually move on,” he admitted.
your laugh that followed was small, humorless. “what did you expect to do, jermajesty? sit around?”
“no,” he said a little too fast. “i just didn’t think it’d be so easy for you.”
your brows pull together. “easy?”
“yeah,” his jaw tightened. “posting him like that. for everyone to see you’re moved on.”
“jer we broke up a year ago, what does it matter,” you sighed.
he chose to break up with you. he’s the one who wasn’t ready. why was it a problem?
“it’s different when i see it,” he said softly.
“different as in knowing you could move on.”
“because now i gotta watch it.”
you pinch the bridge if you nose. unbelievable.
“you didn’t have to watch anyhting, you made that choice yourself.”
“i know.” he shifted on the other end.
“i thought i was cool with it, y’know like if you found somebody, then that meant you were good.”
you breath was uneven, “now?”
“now i see you with somebody that ain’t gonna give you anything real,” you could hear the frustration coming back. “and im supposed to just sit here?”
“you dont get to decide what’s real for me.”
“im just telling you what i see ma.”
you ignored the nickname. “and what exactly is it that you see jermajesty?”
“oh please, you don’t know what you’re talking ‘bout.”
“no.” your answer was firm. confident. which should’ve been enough for him.
jermajesty let out a quiet breath, like he was trying to keep himself together.
“aight,” he muttered. “so tell me i’m wrong then.”
“tell me you actually want him,” he continued. “not just something to pass time. not something to fill space.”
you stayed quiet. and your silence was loud enough.
he let out a laugh. “exactly.”
“don’t try to speak for me jermajesty.” you snapped.
“then say it,” he said. “say you’re all in it with him.”
you thought about it, but you know you couldn’t.
jermajesty dragged his hand down his face, shaking his head like he already knew.
“mm, that’s what i thought.”
“that doesn’t mean anyrhing,” you tried to keep your cool. “it’s not that simple.”
“it is to me,” he shrugged as if you could see him. “you either want him or you dont.”
“feelings don’t just work like that.”
“they do when it’s real.”
“and what we had was real, you know that.”
you swallowed, trying to pass the lump in your throat.
“…it was.” you admitted quietly.
“so why are you tryna replace it? like it’s that easy?”
“i’m not replacing you jer, just trying to move on.”
“onto something you can’t even define?” he pressed.
you exhaled. “at least im trying. at least i’m not running.”
that shut him up real quick.
“…you right.” he was more quiet this time.
“maybe i ran, but that don’t mean that i stopped lo- …wanting you.” he caught his words.
your heart skipped, just betraying you.
“wanting me wasn’t enough before,” you said.
“because i wasn’t moving like it, i know” he admitted.
“but i’m not gonna sit here and watch you give parts of you to somebody who you can’t even claim.”
you scoffed. “you didn’t really claim me much either.”
“that’s a lie. don’t try to twist my words.”
“at least i know what i had,” he continued. “and i know what i lost.”
your chest tightened. gripping your phone just a bit tighter too.
“…so what?” you asked quietly.
jermajesty didn’t answer right away.
when he did though, his voice was lower. more certain.
your brows furrowed. “what?”
“let him know,” he repeated. “if that’s what you really want, stand on it. post him for real.”
your stomach was twisting. because he knew. he knew you weren’t about that.
“but if you can’t,” he added, “then stop playing like it is, like that’s where you supposed to be.”
you felt your breath practically disappear.
“nah,” he cut you off. “i’m serious.”
“and if you still got anything left for me…”
the line went quiet. his words were heavy in your chest, mixing with everything else you had hidden.
“why’d you show up now? now that’s it’s too late.” you said softly.
“it’s not too late ma,” he almost sounded desperate. almost. “don’t say that.”
your head shook, “you don’t get to decide that jermajesty.”
“okay so you decide then,” he said quickly. “make a decision for real. right here. right now.”
your fingers met your temple. this was giving you a headache.
only because that was the problem. you haven’t made a decision. you’ve just been in-between. not his. not really anyone else’s.
and he clocked it, a lot quicker than you’d even expect.
“i wish you weren’t right.” you admit.
“‘bout which part?” you could hear his smirk.
“about me not really wanting the whole halfway thing.”
he exhaled on the other end. not relief. but something close to it.
“then stop,” he said. “you don’t gotta force something that ain’t it ma.”
“and what about you?” you asked carefully. “what makes you so sure that you are?”
it got quiet for about 5 seconds.
“cause i never stopped choosing you,” he confessed. “it just wasn’t out loud.”
you felt your bones go numb.
“that’s not enough jer,” it came out so soft, he probably didn’t even hear.
“i know,” he heard. “so let me do it right this time. for real. loud and proud.”
there was a silence that lingered.
you put the phone on speaker, pulling it away from your ear.
you opened instagram, thumb hovering over your story. the hand in the corner.
jermajesty’s voice came through, much softer now.
you didn’t answer right away.
instead you tap, and delete.
“i deleted it. m’not posting him.” you said with some relief at the end of the sentence.
“yeah” you paused. “…you were right.”
“it’s not where im supposed to be.”
his breath catches slightly. you could hear it through the speaker.
“so…what am i hearing?” he asked.
you didn’t rush to answer. but when you did, your voice was firm.
“if im gonna let anybody have me,” you say, “they’re gonna have to show me. not once. or every blue moon. all the time.”
“i will,” he said immediately.
“i’m not done,” you butted in his few seconds of relief.
“you don’t get me back just cause you saidthe right things tonight,” you continued. “i’m not the same person anymore.”
“i dont want that version of you…” he said. “i want who you are right now.”
“…then prove it,” you said softly.
“say less ma.” jermajesty replied.
you glanced down at your phone and smiled.
you missed that name coming from him.
it had been about twenty minutes since the call ended.
you heard a knock. you frowned, not expecting anybody.
you glanced down at your phone in case he texted you. nothing.
another knock, more firm. more certain.
you hesitated before walking to the door, heart beating a bit too hard.
when you opened it, jermajesty wss standing there.
hoodie on, hands occupied, his expression was unreadable.
you dropped your gaze down to his hands.
a whole bouquet. just for you.
you blinked. “are you serious?”
he let out a small laugh. “i told you i wasn’t playing.”
“these for what?” you asked, staring at the flowers.
his jaw flexed. “for you.”
“jermajesty.” your voice was soft, melting at the gesture.
“nah,” he was quiet. “imma do this right.”
he held the flowers out a little more, eyes on yours.
“i know i mssed up,” he said. “and i know some flowers ain’t fixing that. im not dumb.”
you moutch twitched just a bit.
he noticed and his shoulders eased a little.
“but im here,” he continued. “im not just gonna tell you, imma show you.”
you took the flowers slowly, your fingers brushed his for a second longer than needed.
the contact did something to you both.
“what now?” you asked softly.
jermajesty stepped closer, not enough to suffocate you, but enough to make the air between you sit different.
“now,” he smiled, “you let me inside.”
you stared at him for a second, then moved aside. he walked in like he belonged there, but he still wasn’t cocky about it.
he looked careful. he knew one wrong move and he was out the door for good.
he turned over to look at you. “i meant what i said over the phone y’know.”
you swallowed. “what if i dont make it easy?”
a faint smiled tugged at his mouth.
“then i’ll still stay,” he shrugged, “that’s the whole point.”
he took a step forward, studied your face, gave you time to back out if you wanted.
instead, your gaze dropped to his mouth, then back to his eyes.
you let out a shaky breath, and he leaned in just anlittle, his forehead almost touching yours.
“i’m serious,” he said. “i’m not here to compete with someone temporary, i should’ve never even let you tried it.”
your eyes softened. the words sat heavy, but in a good way.
“you still gotta prove it.”
he nodded once. “i know.”
his hand lifted, slow and careful, brushing your jaw like he was asking for permission without saying it.
“just let me start tonight.”
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