Withering Purpurbloom – Author’s Note + An Eulogy to Il Capitano ♡
Read my Yandere! Capitano series here (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ )
Aahh hello, hello!! This is a very late author’s note for my Capitano x Damsel! Darling angst fanfic Withering Purpurbloom, the latest installment in my Herbarium series :;(∩´﹏`∩);:
It’s been a long time since I’ve written this fic (and fanfics in general), but I’ve really wanted to share the feelings that went into writing it. I will also be discussing my Herbarium series as a whole, my Capitano brainrot over the years, and how both have influenced my writing.
I think this intro is long enough, so now let’s go behind the scenes and take another look at the dark fairytale of Capitano and Damsel </3
“Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, your husband fell into eternal slumber. What followed were the final scenes of your fairytale.” (AO3 summary)
✿ HERBARIUM SERIES ✿
♡ Before I can discuss Withering Purpurbloom, I have to talk about my previous fics and the Capitano brainrot that started it all. On July 11, 2022, the A Winter Night’s Lazzo trailer came out and introduced us to all of the Fatui Harbingers. Among the new faces was Il Capitano, who would go on to become my muse _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):
♡ I’ve already discussed the origins and writing process for Herbarium in this author’s note. Looking back, it was not only my first Genshin fic but also the first time I began to explore my writing style. Before Herbarium, I didn’t have many fic ideas that inspired me to go “all out” with prose, symbolism, long storylines, and Darling personalities. Capidamsel’s story also drove me to experiment with new techniques/ mediums, like the Hades-Persephone subversions in Herbarium and the storybook-style chapter titles in Fairytale.
♡ Many people have said they are amazed by how “accurately” I wrote the Harbingers in 2022, and I attribute all of that to my hard work and character studies. Before writing Herbarium, I watched Capitano’s Lazzo scene on repeat to analyze his behavior and speech mannerisms. From this, I pieced together my own interpretation of his character. I would use these same methods for writing Pantalone, Dottore, and Pierro; I’m very happy to know that these characterizations still hold up in 2026!!
♡ I also gave Capitano his own Darling to complement him, in other words Damsel. (My name for her is Eveline.) When writing fanfics, I prefer to view my Readers/ Darlings as their own characters, but Damsel was the first to have such a detailed personality and background. This gave her a special dynamic with Capitano, plus a distinct “dark fairytale” vibe that set their story apart from my future Harbinger x Darling couples.
♡ On August 8, 2022, I finished writing Herbarium. After posting it on Tumblr, I thought I’d purged myself of my Capitano brainrot. But I was so wrong, as I kept getting new ideas for him and Damsel. He became my muse with the most fics, continuously inspiring me to try out new plots and writing techniques. For Forget-Me-Not, I learned how to write an action scene. For Laurestine, I experimented with an epistolary format and the POV of an outsider to Capidamsel’s relationship. And so on.
♡ The same year I wrote Herbarium, I wrote Housecat, Chemistry, and Disjecta Membra. As different as the other Harbingers’ stories are from Capitano’s, I’d argue that they wouldn’t have existed without Herbarium as their prototype. If not for Herbarium and my all-consuming thirst for Capitano, I never would’ve had the motivation to start writing fanfics as ambitious and time-consuming as my I Love You, Darling series. It’s all thanks to him…..
✿ CAPITANO’S DEATH ✿
♡ From 2022 to 2025, we slowly got more lore on Capitano. I remember Wanderer’s About Capitano voiceover, Mika’s story that revealed Capitano’s eye color, Arlecchino’s animated short where he wore the most out-of-place loafers, and so on. Each time, I celebrated the new information and added it to my writing notes.
♡ Then Natlan began!! When the Ignition Teaser came out, I couldn’t watch it immediately due to a meeting….it was the longest two hours of my life. (Welp it was better than having to write Herbarium in between meetings and requirements for a week-long event.) Once the meeting ended, I watched the teaser. Capitano’s appearance oh my gosh….my tl was full of his “hmph” dialogue afterwards.
♡ Honestly, Natlan’s story isn’t my cup of tea. But I enjoyed every Capitano scene, and I was happy to see that my characterization didn’t feel OOC. Even if some parts of Capitano and Damsel’s story would have to be retconned/changed to fit the new lore (i.e., Capitano’s face reveal, Capitano saying he’d return from Natlan), Capitano still had the personality I’d envisioned for him. When it was revealed that he was a Khaenri’ahn with a corrupted face, it gave me even more ideas for him and Damsel~
♡ ….And then 5.3 happened. I actually found out about Capitano’s death earlier due to the preload leaks. It was December 30, 2024, and I was on my way home from a restaurant. I checked my Twitter and it was full of screenshots and people mourning Capitano. I too went through the five stages of grief, and I did it a second time when 5.3 officially released with Capitano’s animation and voiced dialogue.
♡ It’s kind of….silly? absurd? how genuinely devastated I was. If I’m going to be personal, I’d been dealing with irl stress over the past years, but I could always depend on Capitano to cheer me up through official content, fanworks by other creators, or inspiration for my own writing. So I felt pretty upset when I realized there would be no more Capitano scenes in the future, especially when not enough lore was provided before/after his death. (Seriously, where is the story of how he joined the Fatui??) Funny story, I’d joked with a friend that if Capitano died, I’d change my blog theme from a pink sunset to a night sky, and that is how she got spoiled for his death ^^;
♡ All this to say, Withering Purpurbloom came from a place of grief towards my favorite character. Just like how Capitano’s introduction in A Winter Night’s Lazzo gave me brainrot that could only be sated by writing, his death in 5.3 invoked many emotions that I could only release through my art. With that, I wove Capitano's death into his and Damsel's story.
✿ IN LOVING MEMORY ✿
♡ I normally don’t write angst without comfort, especially if the character is the one experiencing the angst. For Readers, though, I can make them suffer just a liiiiiittle bit, and I dabbled with grief/ loss from time to time. Grief is a complicated experience that varies from person to person, and I kept that in mind when writing the stories of different characters and darlings.
♡ One example is Pierro’s Savior! Darling from Disjecta Membra. She is consumed by grief and survivor’s guilt, unable to live beyond the deaths of her loved ones. She forgets to adjust her food portions, sleeps on the same side of the bed, and sticks to her daily routine even though it provides daily reminders of her loss. This makes her a perfect foil to Pierro, whose own grief fuels his vengeance.
♡ I took a step further with A Candlelit Dinner and Ghost Heart. La Signora’s darling has conflicted feelings about her death but is nonetheless affected, losing their appetite and thinking of Signora as they cook without her. As for Wanderer’s darling, they have forgotten “Scaramouche” as per Irminsul but are subconsciously aware that someone important is missing from their life. They are only able to move on after meeting Wanderer for the “first” time.
✿ WITHERING PURPURBLOOM ✿
Damsel’s grief
♡ For Damsel, I knew her personality would yield a different reaction to loss. By the end of Herbarium, Capitano’s darling has fully accepted him as her captor and husband. Because of this, his sacrifice is anything but liberating. For Damsel, the death of her husband equates to the shattering of their fairytale. This is made more painful by the fact that Capitano pursued Damsel despite knowing from the start that their love story would not end happily.
♡ Damsel’s grief primarily takes the form of denial. She refuses to believe that Capitano could have died in Natlan or, more importantly, that her husband would cruelly subject her to a lifetime of grief. As a result, while her subordinates mourn the Captain, she refuses to acknowledge his death or read his goodbye letter until she can personally confirm his death.
♡ Damsel also falls back on her old coping mechanisms, namely books and flowers. Only, these distractions are futile in the face of her grief. She holes up in her personal library, surrounded by books gifted by Capitano. She hurts herself when she pricks her hand on the barren rosebush. She refuses to get a replacement for her notebook, stuffing it with new flowers and forcing it shut even when it refuses to close fully (haha symbolism).
♡ The turning point is her visit to the Throne of the Primal Fire. After trying and failing to “wake up” her husband, Damsel finally breaks down in tears and accepts his death. She gives him her flowers, reads his final letter, and begins to reconcile with his decision. But evidently, her grief remains. As far as Damsel is concerned, she has lost her “happy ending” and will spend the rest of her life mourning her beloved husband.
Capitano’s love, everlasting
♡ Compared to my previous fics, Capitano is more physically absent in Withering Purpurbloom. Nonetheless, he haunts the narrative in the form of memories and anecdotes. The story is very much about him, but he is in no place to tell it. Because the story is mainly told from Damsel’s perspective, his motives aren't fully understood.
♡ As mentioned earlier, parts of Herbarium had to be retconned/ changed to fit the new lore. When I wrote the series, I assumed Capitano was going to survive Natlan and become playable. So now I had to figure out how his long-anticipated sacrifice factored in his marriage to Damsel. What were his plans for his future widow? How did he feel about the pain he would cause her?
♡ In writing the Fatui Harbingers, I always acknowledge that they have personal goals and responsibilities that take precedence over their darlings. This doesn’t mean they love their darlings any less, but it does mean their work is to be taken seriously. In the case of Capitano and Damsel, he makes the choice to not lose sight of his original goal and to go ahead with his sacrifice.
♡ And yet long after his death, Damsel continues to feel her husband's love. Before his departure for Natlan, he prepares an envelope of documents to ensure that all of Damsel’s needs will be met. Their estate is filled with countless gifts and memories of their time together. No matter how their story ended, there was love and it persisted.
♡ I imagine that Capitano was very sad in his final moments with Damsel. In the ending scene of Withering Purpurbloom, he already knew that this would be the last time they would be together. His only wish was that Damsel could thrive long after his death, in the peaceful world he left behind to her.
Parallels and other techniques
♡ I don’t have as many writing techniques or creative decisions to mention here, because I already talked about it in the previous parts of this author’s note. But there are still some parts of the fic that I haven’t talked about yet!!
♡ Before writing my angst fic, I reread all of my Capitano fics, within and beyond my Herbarium series, to refamiliarize myself with the characters of Capitano and Damsel. Along the way, I took note of certain lines + phrasing to use as references/ callbacks. Because of this, there are many parallels between Herbarium and Withering Purpurbloom. See highlighted text in the images below, left for Herbarium and right for Withering Purpurbloom.
♡ I didn’t put much thought into it at the time, but I used a nonlinear narrative and two POVs for this fic. Withering Purpurbloom is arranged in chronological order and narrated from Damsel’s perspective up until the last scene, which is Capitano’s final memory with Damsel before he left for Natlan. At the time, I just added that scene to give the story more emotional damage. But looking back, I think that was an unconsciously brilliant idea. Throughout the fic, Damsel questions her husband’s decisions and her place in his heart. But when we reach the finale, we get to see Capitano—Thrain—tell his side of their story and affirm his everlasting love for his darling. I think that affirmation was the best way to end Withering Purpurbloom.
♡ Also, I’ve received questions about what Capitano wrote in his final letter to Damsel. The short answer is that I didn’t rlly think of it, because I never had plans to write the complete letter; I feel like enough was already implied in the story. The longer, more impressive answer is that I think it’s more intimate if Capitano’s last words to Damsel are a secret between the two of them, even from the irl readers, just as he would have intended lol.
♡ Lastly, I continued my tradition of using flower names for fic titles in the Herbarium series. My friend @diodellet was the one who suggested Withering Purpurbloom after I asked her if there is any Natlanese flower that suits Capitano’s story/ character. If I were to ever write another fic that focuses on his death, I think I would use the yellow daffodils/ lilies from his Honor story teaser.
✿ FINAL NOTES ✿
♡ Withering Purpurbloom was finished on January 20, 2025. In a separate post, I said I’d create a canon-divergent AU in which Capitano was resurrected. But I ended up scrapping this idea and adhering to canon, because I didn’t have enough fic ideas lol. And with how Capitano’s story was written, I can’t rlly think of a satisfying way to write his revival.
♡ This was also the last fanfic I wrote. After that, I did post some short brainrots but these were obviously unlike the fics and headcanons I’d spend hours writing. This was mainly because Capitano’s in-game death meant that we were back to having little new content. (Thank you to Varka, Columbina, and Sandrone for the crumbs…) So my Capitano brainrot and inspiration suffered as a result.
♡ In 2025, I was also super busy with work, other hobbies, and irl obligations that put fanfic at the bottom of my priorities. Plus, I felt the need to take a step back from Tumblr for personal reasons. Those factors, plus Capitano’s death doing a number on my writing inspiration, led me to go on hiatus. Honestly, it helped a lot, and I want to take the time to thank the Anonies and followers who checked on me during this period.
♡ Right now, I have plans to write again. It isn’t a Capitano fic, though it is also another angst fic set in the I Love You, Darling universe that was immediately inspired by the character’s death. Read:: It’s about Yandere! Dottore and Assistant! Darling lol. Because this fic also heavily focuses on grief, I recalled Withering Purpurbloom and the similar emotions that led to its conception. That is how I finally mustered the motivation to write this author’s note.
♡ At the time of writing this, it’s been a year and half since Capitano’s sacrifice. I’ve had a lot of time to think about his character and how he changed not only my writing but also my life. Because of my Capitano brainrot, I was able to explore my writing style and rediscover my love for writing. I also got to meet so many people in the Genshin fandom, some of whom have become close friends and my favorite writers. In difficult times, he gave me a reason to look forward to the future. It’s very dramatic of me to say all this, but that’s the truth.
♡ I know there are many theories of Capitano being resurrected in a future patch. If that happens, I will be elated. But if he remains dead, I can accept that too. Just because his story has ended in canon doesn’t mean our time with him also has to end. I still have my ways of enjoying the character, from my writing to others’ fanworks to brainrot shared with my mutuals to the Capitano merch on my desk.
♡ Lastly, I want to say thank you to everyone!! To those who read this author’s note to the end, to my friends who supported me through every brainrot session, to my fellow Capitano simps who shared their love for the character, to my readers who have been with me all these years. And, of course, to Thrain for bringing me so much happiness.
Love, Jessamine