#jester ramblings

[lych33dragoncookie]

[jester-r0t]

thinking about how much I love Project Zomboid. You want barely any zombies and to build a cool base? You can. Wanna see what hell is like? Turn on sprinters. Wanna tailor your experience down to how slowly food rots? It's got that!

It's so in depth that at times it's hard NOT to get into my character's head.

Like I'm currently playing around 6 months in with a little raver chick named Princess Page. On her way to a party at the local college she realized things just weren't right. Undead seemed to be on every corner. With luck on her side she met Bessie Garvey, a solider sent out on a false mission to find the cure.

Through this past month they've fought their way through more undead than one could every keep track of. With each one they take down it seems several more take their place.

Recently they've been coasting along. They've raided several police stations and a gun store so they're beginning the process of clearing out the town.

Princess recently went from a "peace n love, let's save the zombies" gal to "I will clear out this whole damn city block for my damn hair dye"

Ramble over yeehonk

[lych33dragoncookie]

they gotta take away my computer access

[lych33dragoncookie]

She's literally so cute. Oh my fucking god she's cute. she's soooo so so so so fucking cute. how can you hate her genuinely HOW can you hate this woman. ohhhh my shayylaaaaa oh how i adore you.

[lych33dragoncookie]

I got bored.

So, I decided to make a Pure Vanilla relationship chart. Yes, I view all of these as romantic (... Though, as romantic as they really can be with him. He's got that swag of a non-standard queer way of viewing relationships, probably) Zooming in is recommended for... Obvious reasons.

... And, a bonus below <3

[lych33dragoncookie]

Oh look, another update that the fandom has whined and complained about that I enjoyed oh so very thoroughly. Everything ranged from standard & interesting to outright delightful. And you all know me; you know what parts of it I found delightful. Let's talk about that, really quickly!

Shadow Milk Cookie is now, in every sense but the literal, a parasite.

Spoilers below the cut. It's time for Holly to ramble on about her clown again.

Oh, you beautiful, beautiful, beautiful bastard.

If you couldn't tell by now, I adore, utterly ADORE when villains get to be thoroughly horrifying and despicable. And this update gave us SO much to chew on in that regard, when it comes to Shadow Milk.

For one, I adore the fragmentation he displayed in that first cutscene he got. The multiple souls and consciousnesses present within him as a result of him pretty much eating the Ultimate Cookie are clearly taking their toll; and if I had to guess, those MEAN ass comments that were flung his way were likely a direct byproduct of having anyone BUT himself present in his mind, for once. An outside perspective, souls who see him for how utterly pathetic and self-destructive he is.

On a more functional level, though... this combination is a terrifying one. The Ultimate Cookie is a being of subsumption. It seeks to add all life to itself, and reach a state where all are one. You combine this with Shadow Milk Cookie, someone full of wrath and desperate for control, and what you get is something utterly catastrophic. A parasite, who will spread itself and remake the world in its own image, who will DELIGHT in the suffering of those it makes itself a part of. This is no longer an urge to survive or not be lonely or anything of the sort; it is the impulse to spread combined with a valley's worth of spite. And nowhere is this more evident...

Than in what he did to Silent Salt Cookie.

This? This is absolutely grotesque. Silent Salt was trapped in his grasp, and pumped full of souls until they started erupting out of his body, while he screamed in agony. This isn't just revenge, this isn't just getting back at someone, this is a horrific display. Personhood and autonomy ripped away, replaced with Shadow Milk's very own will, an entire person distorted and forcefully bent into a different shape. There is truly little more despicable a villain can do than to take someone and force them to become something else, something more useful, and to delight in the physical agony that process causes.

The worst part of it? This isn't even part of the whole "Ultimate Cookie making Shadow Milk act unstable and erratic" thing. This is perfectly in line with things like what he did in Vanquisher of Darkness, and not too far off from his usual methods. This euphoria, this delight at seeing Silent Salt in pain, his body forcefully transformed, Shadow Milk's very essence bursting out of him, it's all his own.

And then?

He does similar to Elder Faerie Cookie. Reduces him to nothing more than an energy source, something to fuel his propagation, to reach further through the world and make it all his own.

Through spreading himself across this world, making it all merely a part of himself, he has become its god. The parasite spread, further and further, until it became the world itself. What happened to Silent Salt could not have been unique, either. Oh, no, absolutely not. Knowing what happened to him, and seeing what the future ended up becoming...

Chances are, he did this to ALL of his former "friends". Put a little bit of himself in them, let the souls work their magic, and shape them into something else entirely. Even his past self... there can only be one star of the show after all, right? It must have felt so thoroughly satisfying to snuff out that weakness and repurpose it for something greater.

I'm not quite sure how to transition out of this post. All I can say is that I thoroughly enjoyed every little bit regarding Croissant Cookie and Timekeeper Cookie as well, and that I was genuinely giggling and stimming like crazy any time this asshole pulled something absolutely horrendous that could not by any extent of the imagination ever be justified.

Villain-fanatics are eating quite well this update, are we not?

[lych33dragoncookie]

AHEM. my tweaking related to that other guy aside,

I did in fact watch the Dominion of The Beasts cutscenes. I think Flour's was a bit underwhelming in terms of execution but it was definitely still really messed up in quite a few ways. Burning Spice, though,

Dude. Me when I get slowly and gradually sanded down constantly repeatedly over time until everything starts blurring and distorting and the suffering just keeps piling on and on, mind becoming more and more numb to it all until I get completely sick of it all and become something completely unrecognizable

Sorry to say; he completely stole the show here. The pacing of the entire thing, the dialogue repeating, Burning Spice's gradual disillusion and even confusion as to why he's doing all of this in the first place, if he's already experienced these things before already, him getting crushed and crushed and crushed further and further over time until he finally cracks—that shit hurt, and it's glorious.

I also think it pretty handily recontextualizes this interaction with Nutmeg Tiger.

I was under the belief that this "first kingdom" was one that Burning Spice ruled over; but, now, I see how much worse the reality of it is.

He wasn't a king. He wasn't allowed to rule, to connect with the people, to help them directly. He was just forced to observe. All these precious, valuable little lives, the ones he had grown attached to, the ones he wanted to see grow and flourish and develop into something great, the ones he cherished; withered away, reduced to dust, gone. And there was nothing he could have done about it, forced to be nothing more than a passive aid and observer. He couldn't interfere. He couldn't actually help. All he could do was watch as everything broke apart, and all those precious little lives he cared so much for were wiped from history, permanently.

No matter how much he cared, he could do nothing to avoid the lives he found so much joy in from being destroyed and fading away. He probably had favorites, too. People he kept an eye on who he had grown particularly attached to, who he blessed as best as he could so they may prosper generation after generation—keeping track of their descendants, keeping a close eye on where they go and hoping they lived the best lives they could... All for nothing. All for it to simply fade away, like grains of sand falling through his hands. And he could do nothing to stop it, as his position would simply not allow it.

Give, observe, and don't get involved. That was the directive the Virtues were seemingly made for. And Burning Spice is one particularly cruel example of how utterly crushing that directive is, specially when the Virtues weren't allowed to become their own people before being forced into their positions. Not allowed to mature, to develop coping mechanisms, to find a way to deal with pain; just placed head-on right in front of it, and told to simply bear it.

[lych33dragoncookie]

Oh, and by the way, I am positively LOSING MY SHIT about this.

Yes, yes, it's concept art, hell his design here is still slightly different to the final one, but

This has me giddy with the thought of what it implies. Sure, those implications have a chance of no longer being canon, but i would prefer if they were, honestly. They're. All. His. Puppets. In the end, they're all still not as important as he is to himself, they're still not as "real" as he is. But that's obviously not the end of it, there's more here!! There absolutely is! They may be puppets, but the big difference is they're dolls. They're no paper cutouts, they're not wooden puppets, they're dolls. They're just that bit more lively, more distinctly themselves, there's an air that they're regarded as more important than the rest of his puppets. They're still merely caricatures of the people they're based on, they're still just a part of his play for him to control, but they're his dolls. His little troupe.

A troupe that could never, ever be as important as he is. He is still the center of attention, the ringleader, the storyteller, and they're all merely characters for him to string along; but, who's to say they're not his favorites? His favorite little puppets, who he knows and recognizes the intricacies of very very well, who he most likes stringing along and watching play along.

Yet, still puppets nonetheless. They could never be him. They could never be as important as he is. No matter how much he likes his little dolls.