"It is finished." (John 19:30)
As I look upon this year's Easter, I started to reflect back on last year's Easter. Such a significant difference in my level of faith just a year ago.
I recalled on how hungry and confused I was as I strongly questioned God on so many things that happened in my life. I needed to understand why I had to go through what I went through and who Jesus really is. Why is Jesus so important?
Yeah, I was a so-called Christian since a kid. But that doesn't mean life was nice and rosy. It made me question even more about life, actually. How angry and disappointed I was with what's going on in the world, in my country and especially in my life?! I just couldn't understand. Am I the only delusional and lost one?
Last Friday, my church had a healing service. There were many that were healed from their sicknesses. There are also some that are skeptical, maybe even those that received healing. They had the stunned look. I know that look. I had that look. (Will explain more in a while.)
Moving on, I recalled that even when I shared to a few about the healing service, I sadly noticed their stare of skeptism, and I said no further. Well, either they doubted the power of God or it's not relevant to them. Whatever reasons they have, I think I can relate as that was how I would react too, if I hadn't experienced God's healing before.
Well, I am no God. And I am no evangelist. No healer. No man of power. But I clearly have no tinge of doubt of the power of God's healing. Simply because I personally have experienced it, not once, not twice but many times, complete healing from Him.
Those who knows me, would probably know that I had eczema since young. Most of my life until last year, I experienced many deep cuts, constant peeling and red patches on my skin throughout my body. Growing up with eczema has definitely affected my personality and lifestyle. My emotions were very unstable as I easily get temperamental and depressed. I had low self esteem and became very reserved. I avoided people as I noticed the odd stares and many critics I get growing up from childhood to adulthood. Others just don't understand what I was going through outside and inside of me that I could not control, though I tried hard to. The physical, emotional and psychological pain. Yes, I ain't normal and I didn't know how to control. But who can, anyways? It's hard for me to understand why I was born with such sickness. But I accepted it as part of my life.
To cope with the skin outbreaks, I had all sorts of medication. Namely, pills, steroids, health products, etc. During my worse outbreak, I had 7 jabs in a year. Crazy times, it was.
Due to mass amount of skin peeling throughout the years, eventually, I do not have finger thumbprints anymore.
In April 2012, I recalled how angry the passport officer was when he couldn't detect my thumbprint. He grumbled and snarled as he had to get approval from higher level officer to allow bypassing my non-existant thumbprint. Also, whenever I go to bank, the officers couldn't detect my thumbprints. I felt so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Such an outcast. Oh well, I begun to accept that I was uniquely not-unique (if you get the drift).
To make matters worse, I strongly believed that I would live with this sickness forever and I dare not even want to consider to get married and have children. Simply because I do not want my children to suffer my sickness. I was adamant and I lived with this great lie implanted in me for years.
Long story short, the good news is, God had completely healed me from eczema since one of the sessions I attended during The School of Acts last year.
Just like anyone who would be skeptical during the healing and deliverance sessions, I was not sure that I would be healed. I recalled questioning God right after the session and as I was touching the awful eczema patch of my neck which I had for years, I said something like this, "God, you healed me from many sicknesses before but I never really asked you to heal my eczema issue. Could you really heal this? If its Your will, please heal me, I have enough of suffering. If not, it's also okay. I am already grateful for your love and blessings in my life."
I left it as that and just moved on with my life. Internally, I felt better and more at peace as days went by. I started to trust God more and allow Him to do whatever He felt best for me. I was not crying out desperately in hope of getting healed as I didn't want to be greedy. I was learning to be contented with what I have and cope with life issues. I had forgotten about the healing request.
Then, a few months later, I suddenly realized that the neck patch is gone, and I hadn't had skin outbreaks for a long time. How is that possible?
Naughtily, I decided to test my body a little by little. I took peanuts. Waited for a few days. No issues. Good. I had seafood a few times in various occasions. No problem. Hmm...
So I thought of the next major test, which I would normally experience breakout immediately after. I started doing cleaning, with direct contact of fair amount of chemical and water, without gloves. Day by day, I did more and more. Week by week, I kept doing more tests on my skins.
Months have past. I am perfectly healthy. No skin patches. No outbreak. Interesting. Am healed! Unbelievable but believe it! At least that's what I keep telling myself.
The greatest joy was when I went to the bank a few weeks ago. Before the bank officer scanned, I warned her that the scanner wouldn't be able to detect my thumbprint and told her not to even bother trying. But she was so nice, and said, "oh? It's okay. Let's just try lah!" I relented and decided to let her give it a shot without much expectation.
I placed my right thumb. Can't detect. Then, my left thumb. Also, can't detect. Smiling sheepishly, I said her, "See? I told you so." Unsatisfied, she said, "Hmm.. Let's do it again. I will help you!"
So, I placed my right thumb again and she pressed it. Teet! Detected!
Huh?! I was shocked!!! And she was pleasantly surprised! This is the first successful scan in my life. We both jumped (a little) with joy. Hahah... What a pleasant surprise?!
I was obviously very stunned with surprise. I wondered how it could be possible. Then, I realized that it will take time for my skin to recover back its layers of skins. As my skin will take time to recover, God is also working in my life to change and restore the inner me. It's not easy, it takes time for my old bad habits to go and new good habits to come. God is so amazing and He never cease to surprise me day by day.
"It is finished". These words that Jesus spoke just before He died plays a significant personal meaning to me. My debts have been paid for in full. Jesus had paid for my debt in full. My old self is dead. A new self is to come.
And today, with Jesus' resurrection. It is a new beginning, as I embark into a new season to come. By God's grace and His love, I look forward on what He has planned for my life.
It's not going to be an easy ride. Yeah, that's fine. I need challenges so that I can grow and be molded to be better anyways. Of course, I am a bit scared. But I have stronger faith now, as I believe that God is with me. I trust that He will guide and chastise me as I make right or wrong choices.
For those who are skeptical of God's power, I pray that God will convict your hearts as you allow Him into your life. Open up. Trust in Him. You have nothing to lose but even more to gain. I lived through it and am a living testimony. You can also experience supernatural power. Just give Him a chance to work wonders in your life and it will never be the same again.
Have a blessed Easter. God bless you.
Real life testimony written and experienced by,
Sabrina Lim Su Yin
