#jgwriting

[noiseissilent]

When does the yearning stop?

Im still searching for everything I’ve ever lost and it eats at my soul like nothing else I’ve ever known.

[interestedinthosegirls]

I am so beyond fucking frustrated at the universe right now. Nothing that makes me happy is going my way, which is fine, but like CUT ME A BREAK. PLEASE. I just want to be able to show and share my emotions freely, without my heartbreaking every fucking day over it, and I want to exist as the chill go-with-the-flow person that I am without having to hide under masks of emotions in order for people to not read me like an open book. I want the stress of my life to whither away and for the world to be kinder and more understanding, less judgmental, and more gentle. That must be too much to ask, I guess.

But the amount of times in my life that Ive asked for happiness for myself are less than the amount of fingers i have on one hand.

[interestedinthosegirls]

I want to be able to not break people’s heart due to what I want or need…

Including my own.

[interestedinthosegirls]

She talks about me late at night. It could be to her friends, our mutual acquaintances, maybe to her dogs, at the ceiling or the wall, into a journal or her phone, or just quietly to herself. Im not certain, but I hear the bells ringing in my ear. She’s talking about me late at night.

[interestedinthosegirls]

I think people need to be more open and honest with what they need from others.

You need more quality time? Say so.

Are you craving more words of affirmation? Tell me.

Is there not enough or too much physical touch happening in the relationship? Speak up.

Do you not like getting gifts as much as having acts of service done for you? Let me know.

Love languages cannot be communicated without communication. Communication is key to allowing effortless love to grow between people. Even if it’s just friendship.

This gors for any type of relationship, friend, parent to child, significant other. These things are important, and being Specific is needed. Tell the people who might not be doing their best at loving you, how you’d like to be loved. And ask them for themsleves as well. Relationships are All Sided. Not just one.

[interestedinthosegirls]

Never erase your progress. You’ve made it to today, that’s every single day of your life that you’ve made it through. Keep going.

It may be hard, it may not be kind or easy, but every moment is a one moment more than the last. Keep going.

The good comes with the bad, but the bad comes with the good. There will always be a better brighter day ahead. Keep going.

Keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

[interestedinthosegirls]

What We Need to Understand About Life.

Older adults don’t like the idea of having to change who they are and their mindset, because none of us really do. We spend so much of our younger years trying to build ourselves into this perfect version of ourselves that we are proud to be, exactly the person we feel we are meant to be. Imagine one day someone came up to you and told you everything you were taught is wrong or skewed and that you need to change all of it after years of being who you are and being comfortable with it. Now imagine this person is younger than you and everything they do seems rebelious and free and instantly you feel regret and jealousy. Think about it, each of us would feel uneasy knowing we were wrong in the way we built ourselves over so much time. We would hate ourselves. We would deny it up and down. We would be fearful, ashamed in ourselves, and guilty. We wouldn’t want to change, because that would be admitting we were wrong after so long of feeling right.

Humans have the hardest time admitting to the pain they might have caused others because we have such a hard time seeing the perspective of one another. You and I cannot easily see those years of tedious emotional, mental and physical transfigurations they went through in order to become the person they are today, but we can see our own happening in front of us. So we believe it is easy to change in this moment, that it is so simple to just believe in the good we are being brought up on. But that is exactly how these older adults felt as well at our age, through the years and world they grew up in. But eventually they settled on who they were, and stopped growing, stopped changing.

We don’t easily understand those years after, when they stopped, because we have yet to go through those years of being solidly the person we wanted to be. These people found themselves and then stayed that way. Once you have found yourself, you don’t want to change, really. You don’t like other people telling you who to become. You want to be done with the hard work and dedication it took to grow and change all those years ago into who you are and have been for many years.

We cannot grasp that concept so easily. We cannot see through each other’s eyes. We will be those adults too. We will become our parents and their parents and their parents. Unless we change our mindset to understand them and why they are so tired and why they don’t want to put in the work to keep bettering themselves.

The gist is, if we allow ourselves to continuously grow everyday for the rest of our lives and never stay the same, then we will all be better off and we won’t be our parents. We won’t have those stubborn mindsets that they have. We won’t be stuck in our ways. We will be willing to change and grow and be better. All it takes is a little perspective and the openness to allow ourselves to continue to grow.

We need to take a page from nature. Trees are the tallest, largest, and oldest standing pieces of nature that isn’t earth or water. They continuously grow, every second of their lives. They may stand their ground, but they know how to shed the old leaves and create new ones. That to me, is exactly how we need to be.

Be a tree.

[interestedinthosegirls]

You know what, Im actually Really upset that money exists and holds such a value in this world because I once told my friends that I wanted to create a business where I didn’t profit from it, only the people who came and used my facilities would profit through personal growth and no money would ever need to be exchanged... and they laughed at me and said I was stupid. But if Im not mistaken, thats how nonprofit organizations work?!

Like how amazing would it be to create something that other people grow from using?! Like personal growth or any type of growth and prosperity they would acheive!! I just feel like That is what helping someone should really be like. You shouldn’t ever want anything in return, just to see them grow and become better. And that’s all I want and Im trying to figure out how to make that work in a world that only thinks in numbers and through the value of a piece of paper with a president’s face on it.. smh.