Swell Intentions

Jeanmarie // ‘96 // East Coast

[interestedinthosegirls]

I am so beyond fucking frustrated at the universe right now. Nothing that makes me happy is going my way, which is fine, but like CUT ME A BREAK. PLEASE. I just want to be able to show and share my emotions freely, without my heartbreaking every fucking day over it, and I want to exist as the chill go-with-the-flow person that I am without having to hide under masks of emotions in order for people to not read me like an open book. I want the stress of my life to whither away and for the world to be kinder and more understanding, less judgmental, and more gentle. That must be too much to ask, I guess.

But the amount of times in my life that Ive asked for happiness for myself are less than the amount of fingers i have on one hand.

[interestedinthosegirls]

When I wrote this I didn’t mean I wanted everything I loved stripped away from me because one person betrayed my trust. Thanks Universe, I won’t be forgetting this one.

[interestedinthosegirls]

I need to stop being so selfless in everything I do,

I keep getting done in by it.

I’m realizing how worthless the actions are to be selfless when you’re the one torn to bits every time.

[1anonyymous1]

me to me: you stress me out

[interestedinthosegirls]

I have lost all trust in people, and all faith in this world, for goodness to prevail. The unfairness of life is beyond what I could ever imagine and I hate living in this world with how it works. Everything is so contrived and unaccepted, instead of worked to be understood. When the only world you have to exist in consistently works against you, how do you find the reason to stay?

[interestedinthosegirls]

I am so beyond fucking frustrated at the universe right now. Nothing that makes me happy is going my way, which is fine, but like CUT ME A BREAK. PLEASE. I just want to be able to show and share my emotions freely, without my heartbreaking every fucking day over it, and I want to exist as the chill go-with-the-flow person that I am without having to hide under masks of emotions in order for people to not read me like an open book. I want the stress of my life to whither away and for the world to be kinder and more understanding, less judgmental, and more gentle. That must be too much to ask, I guess.

But the amount of times in my life that Ive asked for happiness for myself are less than the amount of fingers i have on one hand.

[interestedinthosegirls]

Everyone, every single person tells you to do things, but never how to do them. I wonder if that’s because no one truly knows how to get things done. We never learned How to let go, How to love, How to be there, “How to”…. how to. We never learned How to. It’s always been “You must let go,” “you should focus on your goals,” “you should do what you love,” “you should live for yourself,” “you should… you should.. should….” But How?

Never in my lifetime has someone said, “here are the steps that lead the way.” And in the end, our journeys end up being messy with mistakes and wrong turns, dead ends, and setbacks. No one ever gives you clear directions on how to make things work. They just expect you to Do it. Sometimes we need a little more than someone telling us to Just Do it, and lead with a little more information on how to do so.

Because we are all just lost souls trying to figure out how to live.

[jeanmoreaux]

— Fredrik Backman, Anxious people

[underwelmed]

[neckkiss]

A four word short story..

[neckkiss]

MILK AND HONEY pt.2

[anxietyproblem]

[interestedinthosegirls]

Wait.

…

[joshpeck]

the moon controlling the tides sounds like something out of a fantasy novel and yet…there she is…doing That…every day…

[honigimohr]

“I am not okay, but not okay is how I’ve learned to live.”

— (via reanimierung)

[qurbatpdf-deactivated20230316]

"I am still so naïve; I know pretty much what I like and and dislike; but please, don't ask me who I am. A passionate, fragmentary girl, maybe?

— Sylvia Plath, The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath

[stuckinapril]

i would literally be the most inconsistent character in someone’s book. one moment i am happy and hopeful. the next i am sad and despondent. on some days i’m really productive. on others i lie in bed and stare at the ceiling. i am a mess of hastily scribbled notes and unfinished character concepts squashed together into a barely breathing, barely functional person.

[interestedinthosegirls]

I think I want to unlive. I absolutely hate myself. And I want to stop feeling miserable. I don’t want to hurt myself so that the pain goes away for a moment, I want it all gone. Just Gone.

[aestheticbiopolar]