#jiggliami

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 74

Caption: “War of Love” lyrics written by Blanca Weiss August 20, 2008

JIGGLIAMI: I can’t hide this feeling anymore.

Don’t you notice the fever of love?

Dark clouds were hanging low,

A busy city lost it colors.

Sunshine hiding away,

Twilight fading out,

And shadows nearing me now.

The world is not

How it used to be

I don’t know if

Love has changed.

But do I still want you?

What could I do?

What should I do?

Baka Dana Watashi!

It’s the war of love!

I can’t give you up

I hate to see

You smile to every girl

Except for me.

I want you so bad.

Too heavy and too deep.

Please focus on me.

I will show you how much

You love me.

I screamed out to you with a megaphone, to find it broken.

I try to reach up as high as I can, but your eyes are never on me.

Jiggliami’s “War of Love” is basically a reworking of, in the style of Christian and the Hedgehog Boys, the Supercell song utilizing the Vocaloid speech synthesis software “Love is War”. It’s quite possible that Chris was unfamiliar with the song.

As you can tell from the lyrics, “War of Love” is a pretty generic song. Oddly enough, despite the title, the main motifs of the song are light and darkness and not some sort of military or warfare motif.

“Baka Dana Watashi” is Japanese for “What a fool I am”, which may or may not have been a bilingual jab at Chris from Blanca.

I forgot to mention but that thing on Jiggliami’s chest that looks like a face is the “Jiggliami Medallion”, like Chris’s Sonichu medallions. Chris made an image of Jiggliami in the style of his Sonichu medallions and gave it, along with a few other medallions, to Blanca, and she summarily destroyed one and posted the video to the internet and pocketed the others, including the IRL Jiggliami medallion.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 73

Caption: At the beach’s stage, that night.

ANNOUNCER (According to the Videobooks it’s supposed to be DJ JAMSTA): Ladies and dudes, CWCville Shopping Center, CWC Cola, and Station K.C.W.C are proud to present, for her pop-star debut…

ANNOUNCER: Jiggliami!

JIGGLIAMI: Thank you, citizens of CWCville, Virginia! This debut song was inspired by my ol’ Pikachu boyfriend, who suddenly disappeared from our home field; I have missed him a lot, and yearned for his safe return. I present to you all, “War of Love.”

Jiggliami’s plot finally ends, with her getting over her stage fright offstage and performing her instant hit song. I find it interesting to note that Chris just drew the crowd as white circles, as always, and didn’t take the time to draw at least some of his hedgehog crew in the stands, watching Jiggliami who remember is apparently one of their friends now, since she has Bubbles’s number and knows who Blake is.

Those are supposed to be hearts over the “i’s” in Jiggliami, but they also kinda look like pink kidney beans.

Jiggliami’s admission of having an “ol’ Pikachu boyfriend” gives us an interesting look at the possible seedy pasts of some of the CWCville elite. Outside of the comic proper, Chris’s backstory for Jiggliami attempted to wrangle the fact that she was essentially a Jigglypuff version of a Sonichu but the canon of the story was pretty firm that all Sonic/Pokemon hybrids were with the Pikachu line. According to emails sent from Blanca, Jiggliami was a normal Jigglypuff who really enjoyed singing, but because the Pokemon move “Sing” puts people to sleep, she had trouble finding an awake audience. So, a la Chris’ backstory for Patti, Jiggliami wished on a rainbow star, which fell to Earth and turned her into an Amy Rose/Jigglypuff hybrid who no longer put people to sleep with her voice. But, apparently, before her transformation, she had a Pikachu as a boyfriend who mysteriously vanished one day… gee, I wonder what could have happened to him?

Now, neither Chris nor Blanca has expressly confirmed that before Sonichu and Jiggliami transformed, they were a couple. But, that said, if Chris wasn’t trying to insinuate that he probably would have used a different Pokemon besides Pikachu for her ex. It’s not known whether if Jiggliami had stayed around longer if she would have had something of a love triangle with our main two hedgehogs, but Chris is too strong a believer in true love that I doubt he would have portrayed Jiggliami as a homewrecker in the GodJesus blessed house of Sonichu. In her introductory emails, Blanca suggested a Sonichu one shot where Sonichu saved Jiggliami, and she fell in love with him but he was too dedicated to Rosechu to reciprocate that love, which might have been incorporated into the comics if Chris didn’t want to shove Jiggliami out of the picture following the revelation of Blanca as a troll. Interestingly, BlazeBob & Chloe and Layla Flaaffy, Pandahalo and Ivy’s characters respectively, weren’t written off after the supposed deaths of their creators, and that might be because they didn’t quite so harshly betray Chris as Blanca did.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Cover

Title: Rosechu

CWC Comics / #8 / Drawn August 20, 2008

Caption: Spring Break concert featuring Blanca’s Jiggliami!

Legalese: All Sonichu material is copyrighted March, 2000-2009 by Christian W. Chandler.

Here’s some more legalese that is, on the CWC’s Sonichu Site archive, directly underneath the page:

*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life,

are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*

*Megagi La Skunk was originally thought up or drawn by Megan Schroeder.

*Jiggliami was originall thought up by Blanca (AKA) Kawaii Kitsune.

*Some images within the Elevator Sketch were borrowed from the Encyclopedia Dramatica website.

*The Censoring Star, Banana and Lemon wedge were borrowed from Wikipedia.

*Also, Jason Kendrick Howell and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE,

and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the police on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.

Chris lets us know immediately that Sonichu 8 is going to be a change of pace for the series. First off, it’s hard to notice but the “Rosechu” logo is actually printed over the “Sonichu” logo (you can see a little bit of the lightning bolt on the right from the Sonichu logo), implying that, for this issue, the ladies are taking over. Everyone on this cover (barring the hermaphrodite Silvana) is a girl and this splash includes all of the heroic females we’ve been introduced to so far, except for Patti, Megagi, the out-of-commission Zelina and Crystal, the long forgotten Kel and the characters based off of real women whom we’ll never see again like Hanna, Sarah Hammer and Megan.

The quartet of Rosechus we’ve met so far, Rosie herself, Bubbles, Angie and Lolisa, frolic on the beach, Rosechu with her fist raised in a girl-power way. I don’t know if Chris just drew their hands really weirdly but it looks like Rosechu and Bubbles are holding hands. Also I can’t help but notice that Angelica is the only one of the six women on this page wearing a one-piece bathing suit; perhaps this was one of Chris’s rare attempts to give her something of a distinctive character by invoking her more sheltered upbringing by giving her the most conservative bathing suit.

Chris made this cover assuming that the Spring Break story would be the first in the issue. However, thanks to Chris’s penchant for writing by the seat of his pants, it would be delayed due to Chris wanting to introduce the 4-Cent-Garbage plot. The Spring Break story would stay up in the air for a good long while as Chris dragged his feet on Rage Against the Garbage.

Two characters take up the left part of the page. One is Jiggliami, who we met at the end of last chapter. She is introduced here as “Blanca’s Jiggliami,” likely to plug Chris’s most recent “sweetheart,” who, like Megan, Chris assumed would be around forever. Unlike Megan’s OC Megagi, Jiggliami would be shoved out the door permanently following Blanca’s betrayal.

I’d like to draw your attention now to that legalese. The first bullet point recites Chris’s standard disclaimer he also puts at the beginning of each issue (although I, unlike my predecessor, haven’t been bothering repeating it). The second comes off as a bit surprising. Megan’s has been out of the picture a while now at this point. She and Chris had a major falling out, all of the blame for which can be placed firmly on Chris’s shoulders yet he learned nothing from the incident. And even still he continues to credit Megan for the creation of Megagi, when he could easily retcon it in-story away to her being Chris’s creation, or just not bother to bring Megan up and continue to use her OC without her permission. Perhaps this is out of some fear of repercussion from her, although by this point I’m sure she didn’t care, or perhaps it was done out of a pipe dream of having her return to him and forgive him.

Blanca is given a second credit, to rub in just how much Chris was madly in love with her at the time he really wanted to show her off to the trolls (from which she came). By making such a big deal out of Blanca, Chris was trying to show off to the trolls “see, I can get a girl to fall in love with me!” When Blanca stole the medallion and the illusion was ripped off, Chris really tried to pretend she never happened, even more so than with successive troll girlfriends.

Lastly, Chris takes the time to call out Jason and Kathleen. Chris’s MO on trying to fight Jason was to pick on one of Jason’s ex-girlfriends who had a short lived relationship with him when he was 20 and she was 17. Chris latched on to their age difference and called Jason out as being a pedo. Chris ignores the facts that A) Jason and Kathleen lived in Tennessee and thus were not subject to Virginia’s laws and that Tennessee’s laws of consent are different from Virginia’s, B) their age difference is so minimal that pretty much everywhere there’s an exception clause allowing sexual relationships between couples so close in age like these two to not be considered statutory rape, and C) it’s incredibly possible that the two never did have any sex with each other (the way the CWCki talks about them I get the sense that they just weren’t a couple for very long and thus never consummated their relationship), which would make the whole thing a non-issue. Chris insists that his fanbase turn them in for their non-crimes to the local Clarksville, Tennesse (sic) police, but, of course, no one did.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 45

DJ JAMSTA: Well, I just can’t help but admire how gorgeous you both are.

JIGGLIAMI: Well, thank you. I couldn’t look this hot without the makeover advice from my awesomely kind advisor. :)

DJ JAMSTA: Fantastic. Will, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over to my gal and co-host, Lolisa Rosechu.

LOLISA: Thank you, Jamsta, and good job keeping your self and your eyes off of your guest star’s snowballs. They were the last pair from the vending machine.

Here we get our first glimpse at Jamsta’s female counterpart, Lolisa. First, take note of both of their tails. Normally, male Sonichus have Pikachu tails and Rosechus have Raichu tails, but Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail striped in yellow, teal, and violet, matching the colors of his shirt but neither his actual fur or his ears. Lolisa likewise has a pink tail with a blue tip vaguely resembling a musical eighth note, which doesn’t match any of the clothes we see her in. I’m going to assume the two had copious amounts of plastic surgery on their tails.

Jamsta’s compliments directed at Blanca and Jiggliami and Lolisa’s jealous reactions makes me wonder a bit about their relationship. I’m guessing we’re meant to assume that in the past, Jamsta has cheated on Lolisa with some of his female guests in the past and she has to keep a close watch on him at work to make sure he’s not banging Jiggliami behind her back. We don’t really see that much of their relationship though, and hereafter the two are more or less never seen apart and have so little dialogue that’s not exposition that they don’t have much of a character.

When Jamsta says “Will, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over…” Chris meant to say “Well, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over.” Yeah, at first I was like “who’s Will? Is that someone we don’t see who works at the station?” It reminds me of how in “My Inner Life,” another beloved badfic, this one from Zelda, because the author kept misspelling “huge” people said there must be some character named “Hugh” who kept showing up whenever there was a monster.

I imagine Lolisa’s joke about Jiggliami’s “snow balls” being the last pair from a vending machine was supposed to be a joke on Hostess Sno Balls, but people without a familiarity with the coconut covered cakes will be completely in the dark.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 44

JIGGLIAMI: I sing lead vocals with Blanca backing me up on lead Guitar Hero.

BLANCA: Yeah. While Jiggliami sang on SingStar, I would play my ax on the Wii; getting the high scores scored better real-play, for my benefit.

JIGGLIAMI: I can’t help but appreciate her excellent skills. After being discovered playing at her family’s business, we were in!

BLANCA: Oh, my God!

JIGGLIAMI: I know, right? I just could not believe it. But now, we’re gigged at Max’s Kansas City. If we’re lucky like Joe, we may have a “no surprize” contract.

BLANCA AND JIGGLIAMI: Hello, Joe!

BLANCA AND JIGGLIAMI: Jynx!

BLANCA AND JIGGLIAMI: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! Ahhh…

On this page we’re treated to Chris’s idea of musical training - rhythm games! Now, Guitar Hero, like most of this genre of game, bears little to no resemblance to actual guitar playing, and certainly wouldn’t fly at any sort of public performance like Blanca presumably plays at with Jiggliami.

Blanca’s backstory is that classic of rock-n-roll rags-to-riches stories, being discovered playing at some rundown joint by some big Hollywood exec. That’s how all these stories start. Usually they end with the pop/rock star, either depressed with fame or fallen out of favor, drug-addled and/or dead, but alas we are not so lucky with Jiggliami’s arc.

Max’s Kansas City was an NYC nightclub that was a major hangout for the glam rock scene that closed in 1981, the year before Chris was born. Irrelevant of the fact that the establishment is no longer in business, Max’s Kansas City wasn’t a place where bubblegum pop musicians like Jiggliami played; people like David Bowie and Lou Reed played at Max’s Kansas City, not groups like The Monkees.

Ah, the lovely Jynx. Every Kiwi Farmer’s favorite Pokemon.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 43

DJ JAMSTA: And on da spot here, we have visiting da studio today, the new bubblegum-pop sensation, Jiggliami, and her cute manager Blanca, talkin’ about her new hit single.

DJ JAMSTA: So, ladies, what’s da word on that?

JIGGLIAMI: Well, let me say it is a delight to be on my first ever radio show. I am also jazzed about my upcoming return to CWCville for my “spring break” concert at its beach.

JIGGLIAMI: And I’d like to thank Capitol Records for spottin’ my recordin’ contract for my single, “War of Love.” I am psyched about its June release.

Caption: *Jiggliami was originally created by Blanca W., and fully approved by Christian W. Chandler.

As we’ve been seeing before, Jamsta speaks in what Chris assumes to be a casual tone but in fact sounds rather stilted in its attempts to sound laid-back. Like all cool guys in Chris’s book, Jamsta drops the end of words that end in -ing and often replacing a “th” at the front of a word with a “d”. Cool people don’t talk like this.

The woman in the middle of the page there is Blanca Weiss and that pink thing is her Sonichu OC, Jiggliami. Blanca (whose names translated from Spanish and German respectively is “white white”) was the first of Chris’s multitude of troll-created girlfriends (unless you count Lori Lopez; since she was short-lived and never warranted her own “saga” she tends to get dropped.) Interestingly, here she is portrayed with long blonde hair while ever after she’d be portrayed as a brunette with shoulder-length hair. That’s because there were several different pictures of different women used as “Blanca”. The Sonichu 7 Blanca was based off of this image while Sonichu 8 Blanca off of this one. Possibly we are meant to infer, from a comic perspective, that she changed her hairstyle, as pop princesses are want to do, between the two issues.

Jiggliami is a Sonic-ified take on a Jigglypuff, a then Normal-Type (now Normal/Fairy-Type) ball-like Pokemon, in the same way Sonichu is a Sonic-ified take on a Pikachu. She’s also more or less copied and pasted from a character from the anime Macross Frontier by the name of Ranka Lee, and both are up-and-coming Japanese-style idol singers.

This episode foreshadows Episode 18, the second half of the next issue. Jiggliami mentions the spring break concert that would make up the backdrop of that episode and the “War of Love” song that would finish it. I don’t know whether or not Chris was working on that episode at the same time or not but this makes me think it was the case.

*Stress sigh* Recording companies offer their talent recording contracts, not the other way around, Chris.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 75

JIGGLIAMI {continued}: Now I look up to the sky,

I find it has been cleared,

But it was not done for me.

I can’t stop these feelings,

They’re getting out of hand

Oh, what could I do?

What should I do?

I swear in this love,

I’ll never give you up.

Dai-Suki!

It’s the war of love!

CHRIS {narration}: After the concert, Blanca found her boyfriend, and left for their home state of Kentucky. Jiggliami stayed in CWCville to record her albums in accordance with Jive Records through CWCville Studios. Currently, in the Time Void, or rather within my heart and head, a consequential, conflicting decision had to be made. At this time in my life, I had met, and unknowingly to myself, flirted with three women on the internet. I could choose only one, but with the help of God and Jesus, two paths were taken away.

SARAH JACKSON: Christian…

BLANCA WEISS: Christian…

SARAH MCKENZIE: Christian…

The top of the page is Jiggliami’s coda to “War of Love” and this is the last we ever hear from her. The song trails off into the afterword of Sonichu 8. Chris, from his vantage point in the Time Void, has romanced three “women” in the real world and addresses them for the first time properly in Sonichu.

The in-comic Blanca is written off as having “found her boyfriend”, despite earlier having said that she was waiting for Chris, and Jiggliami is explained as having rode off into the sunset a successful pop starlette. Jive Records, despite my assumption that it was a generic name Chris made up, was a real label, a former RCA Records subsidiary that started off in the ‘80’s with groups like A Flock of Seagulls, in the early ‘90’s moved on to more hip hop artists like R. Kelly and A Tribe Called Quest, but would win the heart of our autist in the late ‘90’s with the work of The Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears (the label was retired along with other RCA subsidiaries Arista and J Records in 2011). CWCville Studios I’m assuming is the physical building she recorded the albums at in CWCville.

Chris visualizes his conflict between Sarah Jackson, Blanca, and Pandahalo as being at a literal crossroads, with their voices each egging him on to come their way.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 65

Caption: Backstage, at the stage.

Closet door’s star: CLOSET

SFX: *thump*

JIGGLIAMI: Gasp!

BLAKE: Zzzzzzzz

Now we are finally treated to where Silvana dumped the unconscious Blake, in a closet behind Jiggliami’s stage. While stuffing bodies in closets is a staple of comedy, it admittedly wasn’t the greatest choice for keeping him hidden until he awakes. I suppose Silvana didn’t want to kill Blake while he was unconscious, again we aren’t really treated to any of her motivations, but even if she just wanted Blake to not be found until after he wakes up, remember she can teleport anywhere, why not teleport him far, far away from the beach? I suppose she was counting on no one close to Blake having backstage access to Jiggliami’s stage.

Silvana’s fatal flaw might have been her inability to properly shut the closet door, because as Jiggliami passes in front of the closet, the semi-conscious Blake falls to the floor in front of her.

Also the closet has a star on it. Usually stars are reserved for the dressing rooms of headlining acts but, hey, I guess they really value their janitorial staff.