#lolisa rosechu

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 43

DJ JAMSTA: Now comin’ live, like a high-five, on the radio from CWCville Beach, with Station KCWC, it is…

Title: Episode 18

Title: Spring Break, 2008!

DJ JAMSTA: Hey, there all ya guys, gals, duds, and dudettes of all ages! We are rockin’ hawt at CWCville Beach for spring break, ‘08! Y’all know me as Jamsta Sonichu, da DJ with da power!

LOLISA: And proudly wingin’ it again as his girl Friday, I’m Lolisa Rosechu.

Booth: Everything! Station KCWC!

Booth: See Jiggliami tonight, as she sings her debut song!

We return to the KCWC duo, announcing their coverage of CWCville’s spring break festivities. Six pages into the episode, this episode has a relatively late title card (it’s still beaten out by Smashed Hearts and Entrapment, if you count the prologue sex scene Rage Against the Garbage, and later Director Amenities).

Interestingly, this beachy story was written in the fall of 2008, about eight months or so after these events take place.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 39

Caption: March 17, 2008: Sonichu & Rosechu’s house.

SONICHU: Aw, Rosie, that was a nice dinner; this is the nicest birthday of mine yet.

ROSECHU: Hang tight; it’s gonna get way better.

Banner: Happy 20, Sonichu

ALL: Surprise!

Sonichu’s birthday has a bit more of a setup to it. Rosechu treated him to a fancy dinner beforehand and then he gets a surprise shindig. Sonichu’s guest list includes almost all the EHP’s so far introduced: DJ Jamsta and Lolisa flanking the main couple, Simonla and Zapina on the left, and the Chaotic Combo and Blake along the bottom. The only absences are Darkbind and Zelina - it’s almost like Chris realized that their medieval fantasy motifs clashed with the otherwise modern aesthetics of Sonichu and that they wouldn’t (well, Darkbind wouldn’t because Zelina’s not really going anywhere right now) go to something like a stupid birthday party.

Blake’s inclusion at two of the three parties signifies that, two issues after his turn to heroism and about 5 months after in comic time, Blake is on good enough a standing to get invited to Sonichu’s private party. Chris seems to very rapidly jump back and forth on whether or not Blake is considered a part of the team or not, an unofficial sixth member of the Chaotic Combo at this point, or if Blake is tolerated but still not really a part of the team, or if the Chaotic Combo barring Bubbles trusts him not at all and he’s having difficulties fitting in to his newfound team. We’re not treated to much of this party and here we don’t see any of his interactions with any other individuals besides Bubbles, so it’s hard to gauge just how smooth his transition from villain to hero was.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 35C

LOLISA, I GUESS: Ah, I think she’s here now.

SIMONLA ROSECHU: I hope I’m in the right place; I hate making that mistaken turn in the wrong place.

Caption: Simonla Rosechu Age: 19 -Ground/Bug Type

LOLISA?: You are in the right place, Simonla.

SIMONLA: Lolisa! Excellent!

LOLISA: You are right on time. Well done.

LOLISA: Sonichu, ladies, this is Simonla. Simonla, let me introduce Sonichu, Rosechu, Bubbles, and Anelica.

SONICHU, ROSECHU, BUBBLES & ANELICA: Hey, Simonla.

SIMONLA: Hey, y’all.

Problem is for this Rosechu nudie photo shoot is, aside from Zelina, whose awakening has been botched by Chris’s falling into the Time Void, white and yellow Sonichu Balls in tow, and the Anchuent Powers-fueled transformations of Sarah Hammer, who is happily enjoying a life married to William Spicer far away from the action of Sonichu, and Crystal, see Zelina, Chris only has four Rosechus, the four on the cover. This issue will see the introduction of three new Rosechus to fill out the cast, as well as to fill out some of the remaining Pokemon types that haven’t been Sonichu-ified.

Enter Simonla Rosechu, a character that would go on to become one of the most controversial characters in the entire comic. During the summer of 2008, Evan George, who had previously drawn the Ghost Buggy face in Sonichu 7 and was on the receiving end of the “masturbating and squirting” email, submitted a fan character by the name of “Simonchu”, an olive green Ground/Electric Sonichu based on Simon from Gurren Lagann. Evan showed him off to Chris, who apparently had been already stewing around the idea of a Ground-Type EHP. Chris, wanting to balance the gender ratio of EHP’s a little (at this point, discarding Anchuent Prophecy transformations, the ratio was 7 Sonichus to 5 Rosechus; the addition of Simonla and Zapina puts this at an even 1:1), changed the character to a female, and rechristened her Simonla, apparently a play on the female given name Simone (pronounced identically to the way the Gurren Lagann character’s name is pronounced). We’ll get more into Evan’s response to the character as she is further developed in Sonichu, but suffice to say he was not pleased with the changes to his OC.

Simonla, unlike Simonchu, is described as a Ground/Bug type, to play into the idea that her drills are, in this universe, rather than being inspired by Gurren Lagann, are based off of the Pokemon Beedrill, a Bug/Poison type. To date there have been no Ground/Bug Type Pokemon introduced, although the functionally identical Bug/Ground Typing boasts the Nincada and the Sandy Cloak form of Wormadam, both of which existed at the time of Chris writing this, but Simonla resembles neither. Her closest Pokemon relative would probably be the Diglett/Dugtrio, with her penchant for digging tunnels.

Her eyes are red due to what Chris calls her “secondary infrared eyelids”, whatever that means, since Chris didn’t realize Simonchu’s red eyes were goggles.

She also has a visible navel, which seems a little odd given that she was presumably hatched from an egg.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 35B

ROSECHU (I think, or possibly all four Rosechus): “Votes for women, step in time! Votes for women, step in time! Never need a reason, never need a rhyme! Votes for women, step in time!” Votes for women!

ROSECHU: Votes for women!!!

ROSECHU: And the downfall of 4-Cent_Garbage’s garbage!!!

ROSECHU: Well done, sister electric hedgehogs!!!

LOLISA ROSECHU: Well, my associate should arrive soon with the backdrops, and we can get this party started.

This entire page is an massive reference to the “Step In Time” sequence in Mary Poppins. The premise of the film, which is set in the pre-WWI Edwardian London, where the father of the family is busy at work and the mother is busy campaigning for women’s suffrage and they have to hire the eponymous nanny to watch over the children. This song comes near the end of the film and is a big dance number for all the chimney sweeps of London. The setup of the song is “X, step in time/X, step in time/Never need a reason, never need a rhyme/X, step in time.” At one point the mother and her gaggle of “sister suffragettes” intermix with the action of the song and the above lyrics are sung.

Chris doesn’t seem to understand the different “waves” of feminism. Suffrage was one of the primary concerns of the first wave of feminism, which ran from the turn of the 20th Century to about 1930. Most countries have women’s suffrage at this point. The long-standing joke implication is that in CWCville, women can’t vote. Well, this isn’t untrue as Chris has said there are no elections in CWCville, so technically, no one can vote. So in that context, Rosechu comes off as a revolutionary fighting for democracy in Chris’s autocratic dystopia.

The panty shot counter rises to 6, but at least here it sorta makes sense.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Page 35G

LOLISA: Rosechu, this is a volunteer gig, and she’s volunteering for be an important spotlight. I will personally supervise her, and I will take responsibility should anything go haywire.

ROSECHU: Alright, I will leave Zapina under your watchful eye and fully responsible care.

LOLISA: Thank you.

ROSECHU: Alright, people! We have a lot of work to do, so let’s get this party started!

ROSECHU: Simonla, set up half of the backdrops on the back porch and the rest between those two trees! Sonichu, make sure the camera is fully charged, has an SD card in it and ready to work! All the posing models need to have been cleaned up and have make-up applied! Lolisa, have Zapina set herself up on that tree, and make sure her light can shine upon both backdropped areas!

Lolisa stands up for Zapina for some reason (it probably would have made a bit more sense for this to have been Simonla, seeing that Simonla is later characterized as something of a mother figure to Zapina; Zapina and Lolisa never really have much of a relationship and I don’t think they ever speak to one another directly again.)

Rosechu then goes in depth into what each character will be doing and what needs to be done. However, as we don’t see the fruits of any of this photo shoot, we don’t particularly care how it was done.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 8 Cover

Title: Rosechu

CWC Comics / #8 / Drawn August 20, 2008

Caption: Spring Break concert featuring Blanca’s Jiggliami!

Legalese: All Sonichu material is copyrighted March, 2000-2009 by Christian W. Chandler.

Here’s some more legalese that is, on the CWC’s Sonichu Site archive, directly underneath the page:

*Any names, or persons, illustrated in any of the Sonichu Comics, except that of Christian Weston Chandler, that may seem similar to anyone in real life,

are purely coincidental, or otherwise parodic.*

*Megagi La Skunk was originally thought up or drawn by Megan Schroeder.

*Jiggliami was originall thought up by Blanca (AKA) Kawaii Kitsune.

*Some images within the Elevator Sketch were borrowed from the Encyclopedia Dramatica website.

*The Censoring Star, Banana and Lemon wedge were borrowed from Wikipedia.

*Also, Jason Kendrick Howell and his 17-year old girlfriend, Kathleen Nicole Wallace in this comic are BASED on the REAL PEOPLE,

and they both HAVE actually done things together that would be classified as Illegal in the USA; Send the police on them in Clarksville, Tennesse.

Chris lets us know immediately that Sonichu 8 is going to be a change of pace for the series. First off, it’s hard to notice but the “Rosechu” logo is actually printed over the “Sonichu” logo (you can see a little bit of the lightning bolt on the right from the Sonichu logo), implying that, for this issue, the ladies are taking over. Everyone on this cover (barring the hermaphrodite Silvana) is a girl and this splash includes all of the heroic females we’ve been introduced to so far, except for Patti, Megagi, the out-of-commission Zelina and Crystal, the long forgotten Kel and the characters based off of real women whom we’ll never see again like Hanna, Sarah Hammer and Megan.

The quartet of Rosechus we’ve met so far, Rosie herself, Bubbles, Angie and Lolisa, frolic on the beach, Rosechu with her fist raised in a girl-power way. I don’t know if Chris just drew their hands really weirdly but it looks like Rosechu and Bubbles are holding hands. Also I can’t help but notice that Angelica is the only one of the six women on this page wearing a one-piece bathing suit; perhaps this was one of Chris’s rare attempts to give her something of a distinctive character by invoking her more sheltered upbringing by giving her the most conservative bathing suit.

Chris made this cover assuming that the Spring Break story would be the first in the issue. However, thanks to Chris’s penchant for writing by the seat of his pants, it would be delayed due to Chris wanting to introduce the 4-Cent-Garbage plot. The Spring Break story would stay up in the air for a good long while as Chris dragged his feet on Rage Against the Garbage.

Two characters take up the left part of the page. One is Jiggliami, who we met at the end of last chapter. She is introduced here as “Blanca’s Jiggliami,” likely to plug Chris’s most recent “sweetheart,” who, like Megan, Chris assumed would be around forever. Unlike Megan’s OC Megagi, Jiggliami would be shoved out the door permanently following Blanca’s betrayal.

I’d like to draw your attention now to that legalese. The first bullet point recites Chris’s standard disclaimer he also puts at the beginning of each issue (although I, unlike my predecessor, haven’t been bothering repeating it). The second comes off as a bit surprising. Megan’s has been out of the picture a while now at this point. She and Chris had a major falling out, all of the blame for which can be placed firmly on Chris’s shoulders yet he learned nothing from the incident. And even still he continues to credit Megan for the creation of Megagi, when he could easily retcon it in-story away to her being Chris’s creation, or just not bother to bring Megan up and continue to use her OC without her permission. Perhaps this is out of some fear of repercussion from her, although by this point I’m sure she didn’t care, or perhaps it was done out of a pipe dream of having her return to him and forgive him.

Blanca is given a second credit, to rub in just how much Chris was madly in love with her at the time he really wanted to show her off to the trolls (from which she came). By making such a big deal out of Blanca, Chris was trying to show off to the trolls “see, I can get a girl to fall in love with me!” When Blanca stole the medallion and the illusion was ripped off, Chris really tried to pretend she never happened, even more so than with successive troll girlfriends.

Lastly, Chris takes the time to call out Jason and Kathleen. Chris’s MO on trying to fight Jason was to pick on one of Jason’s ex-girlfriends who had a short lived relationship with him when he was 20 and she was 17. Chris latched on to their age difference and called Jason out as being a pedo. Chris ignores the facts that A) Jason and Kathleen lived in Tennessee and thus were not subject to Virginia’s laws and that Tennessee’s laws of consent are different from Virginia’s, B) their age difference is so minimal that pretty much everywhere there’s an exception clause allowing sexual relationships between couples so close in age like these two to not be considered statutory rape, and C) it’s incredibly possible that the two never did have any sex with each other (the way the CWCki talks about them I get the sense that they just weren’t a couple for very long and thus never consummated their relationship), which would make the whole thing a non-issue. Chris insists that his fanbase turn them in for their non-crimes to the local Clarksville, Tennesse (sic) police, but, of course, no one did.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 47

LOLISA: So tell me, Bob, how did you create the top fan status for yourself?

ROBERT SIMMONS V: Well, after having read all of Chris’ original “Sonichu” comic books, from his original and official Sonichu & Rosechu site, I have become inspired. So I’ve carved my place by recording a few Youtube videos in tribute to him and his electric-hedgehogs.

LOLISA: I understand that you and Chris have similar, yet possibly mimiced traits?

ROBERT SIMMONS V: Yes, he and I are both somewhat desperate for a woman to secure our individual futures, and that neither of us ever actually got laid yet.

LOLISA: What advice have you taken from Christian’s wide wisdom that has benefitted you?

ROBERT SIMMONS V: He was correct on therapy of yourself with something feminine and furry from a toy store. My Furby, Michelle, relieves some of my stress at home until the day I get lucky for myself. Also using Axe body spray does arouse the women in close range.

LOLISA: I can tell; you smell good. You and he look almost identical, and I personally know that Chris is cute, caring, and a good man who will put his closest friends first; why do you feel is the reason you haven’t found the right woman yet?

ROBERT SIMMONS V: Ah, yes, that big pondering. Well, in addition to the proven fact of the infinitely high boyfriend factor, I have found women very beautiful, yet they can be very frightening, due to their surprising emotions and mood swings.

This interview here reads more like an actual interview than the one between Jamsta and Jiggliami on the last few pages; Lolisa actually asks questions and RSV answers them.

Chris paints RSV here as a kindred soul, a fellow just as pathetic as he is, and someone who understands his methods. That said I think Lolisa’s trying to say that RSV is mimicking traits of Chris’s, so perhaps she understands that RSV isn’t quite as embarrassing as he is, or perhaps he understands on some subconscious level that he’s a complete fraud.

RSV cites one of Chris’s pieces of advice to young single men, laid out in his famous Future Message, that to understand women they should invest in some girls’ toys and rub them against your cheeks. There’s some implications here that RSV is taking it up a notch, however, and is engaging in some sort of sexual activity with his Furby, not exactly what Chris called for there.

RSV brings up another CWC-ism at the bottom of the page, the Infinitely High Boyfriend Factor (henceforth IHBF). Chris has alluded to the IHBF as early as in “All I Want For Christmas Is A Pretty Girlfriend,” and it’s the idea that every pretty girl must already have a date, a JERK if you will, and thus will not go out with Chris. Chris’s description of it as a factor though is rather baffling, as mathematically speaking a “factor” is a term in a multiplication problem (for instance, in the phrase “2 x 3 = 6”, 2 and 3 would be the factors). Perhaps coefficient would have been a better term? I dunno, I’m not a mathematician, but coefficient sounds smarter at least. Here, Chris notes that the IHBF not only comes down on him but it also is a woe of RSV’s as well.

[taffysannotatedsonichu]

Sonichu 7 Page 45

DJ JAMSTA: Well, I just can’t help but admire how gorgeous you both are.

JIGGLIAMI: Well, thank you. I couldn’t look this hot without the makeover advice from my awesomely kind advisor. :)

DJ JAMSTA: Fantastic. Will, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over to my gal and co-host, Lolisa Rosechu.

LOLISA: Thank you, Jamsta, and good job keeping your self and your eyes off of your guest star’s snowballs. They were the last pair from the vending machine.

Here we get our first glimpse at Jamsta’s female counterpart, Lolisa. First, take note of both of their tails. Normally, male Sonichus have Pikachu tails and Rosechus have Raichu tails, but Jamsta has a fan-shaped tail striped in yellow, teal, and violet, matching the colors of his shirt but neither his actual fur or his ears. Lolisa likewise has a pink tail with a blue tip vaguely resembling a musical eighth note, which doesn’t match any of the clothes we see her in. I’m going to assume the two had copious amounts of plastic surgery on their tails.

Jamsta’s compliments directed at Blanca and Jiggliami and Lolisa’s jealous reactions makes me wonder a bit about their relationship. I’m guessing we’re meant to assume that in the past, Jamsta has cheated on Lolisa with some of his female guests in the past and she has to keep a close watch on him at work to make sure he’s not banging Jiggliami behind her back. We don’t really see that much of their relationship though, and hereafter the two are more or less never seen apart and have so little dialogue that’s not exposition that they don’t have much of a character.

When Jamsta says “Will, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over…” Chris meant to say “Well, I’m gonna briefly hand the mic over.” Yeah, at first I was like “who’s Will? Is that someone we don’t see who works at the station?” It reminds me of how in “My Inner Life,” another beloved badfic, this one from Zelda, because the author kept misspelling “huge” people said there must be some character named “Hugh” who kept showing up whenever there was a monster.

I imagine Lolisa’s joke about Jiggliami’s “snow balls” being the last pair from a vending machine was supposed to be a joke on Hostess Sno Balls, but people without a familiarity with the coconut covered cakes will be completely in the dark.