#jingo

[bakedbakermom]

fuck terry pulling no punches in this one

[akboro]

[lizormianillustration]

reading terry prattchet is so crazy, cause you'll be reading about a character called something like plinko plonko and their zany exploits, and then he'll just drop a paragraph that goes so insanely hard like -

and then I just have to stare at the wall for a bit.

[reluctanttree]

i know everyone posts this one cause its just so well written but im still going to cause damn

[veni-vici-vetinari]

"Then if you persist in playing games I will say that before a knight is created he must spend a night's vigil watching his armor-"

"Practically every night of my life," said Vimes. "A man doesn't keep an eye on his armor round here, that man's got no armor in the morning."

"In prayer," said Rust sharply.

"That's me," said Vimes. "Not a night has gone by without me thinking, 'Ye gods, I hope I get through this alive.'"

"—and he must have proved himself on the field of combat. Against other trained men, Vimes. Not vermin and thugs."

Vimes started to undo the strap of his helmet.

"Well, this isn't the best of moments, my lord, but if someone'll hold your coat I can spare you five minutes..."

Vimes antagonising Rust at any given moment

This man’s never taking Vetinari’s role again

[unseenlibrarycardholder]

Jingo Terry Pratchett

[twyll3305]

"You ever met a Klatchian, sarge?" said Nobby, as they began to pace the length of the quiet street. "I mean one of the wild ones."

"Well, no... but you know what? They're allowed three wives! That's criminal, that is."

"Yeah, 'cos here's me and I ain't got one," said Nobby.

"And they eat funny grub. Curry and that."

Nobby gave this some thought. "Like... we do, when we're on late duty."

"Weelll, yerss—but they don't do it properly—"

"You mean runny ear wax yellow with peas and currants in, like your mum used to do?"

"Right! You poke around as much as you like in a Klatchian curry and you won't find a single piece of swede."

"And I heard where they eat sheep's eyeballs, too," said Nobby, international gastro-gnome.

"Right again."

"Not decent stuff like lambs' fry or sweetbreads, then?"

"That's... right." Colon felt that he was being got at in some way."

"Look, Nobby, when all's said and done they ain't the right color and there's an end to it."

"Good job you found out, Fred!" said Nobby, so cheerfully that Sergeant Colon was almost sure he meant it."

"Well, it's obvious," he conceded.

"Er... what is the right color?" said Nobby."

"White, of course!"

"Not brick red, then? 'Cos you—"

"Are you winding me up, Corporal Nobbs?"

"'Course not, sarge. So... what color am I?"

That caused Sergeant Colon to think. You could have found, somewhere on Corporal Nobbs, a shade appropriate to every climate on the disc and a few only found in specialist medical books."

"White's... white's a state of, you know... mind," he said. "It's like... doing an honest day's work for an honest day's pay, that sort of thing. And washing regular."

"Not lazing around, sort of thing."

"Right."

"Or... like... working all hours like Goriff does."

"Nobby—"

"And you never see those kids of his with dirty clo—"

"Nobby, you're just trying to get me going, right? You know we're better'n the Klatchians. Otherwise, what's the point?"

[sexy-pigeon]

I am re-reading "Jingo" and the description of Vimes' attire was just too detailed to ignore