Lazy Evaluation {Kim Minji | JiU x Male Reader}
Tags: two ounces of mommy kink, one bowl of age play, two cups of heavenly chocolate, pinch of humor, lots of fluffy fluff-fluff, a plate of hearty cream pie, a single grain of femdom
TW: Math and computer science jokes, mindless smut
4.9k – Read it on AO3.
A/N: The science may not be correct. Please excuse me. Or maybe it is. Most jokes will fly over your head if you are not into mathematics and computer science. This is not a failure on my part, and I will never take full responsibility.
If it helps: It's part of the joke that you do not understand everything about monads... I'm just continueing the meme...
All ten fingers clawed at your own scalp, trying to soothe the tension between your temples. In a furious jumble they shuffled through the already disheveled hair, not only in a motion to squeeze more blood through the tiny pinch of grey matter that you were sure you had left somewhere, but also to shed with the frustration that had plagued you all week. It was your task to show what you had learned in computer science, explore new frontiers of knowledge, and write a dissertation, at the same time documenting your progress for the lecturer.
“So, a Monad does define two operations, but is not a type itself? How is that supposed to work?”
It was quite perplexing, learning about such abstract and high-level data structures in mathematics. All day you have been attempting your own explanation, and every single time you have produced a different answer. Frustratingly, none of them matched any of the myriad descriptions that could be found, be it from the study book both recommended and written by the professor himself, numerous instructional online sites which most likely copy from each other or even what the latest conversational artificial intelligence could synthesize up for you.
“You still didn’t finish with the abstract?” Your study partner asked in a bright and cheerful voice, as she returned with two hot mugs of mocha latte and set them on the table. Your mood changed instantly with the scent of chocolate that permeated through the room, with a strong note of her own essence. Before you could reach for a mug, she was already next to you and flicking through the study book looking for what she was about to explain. “It is actually quite simple, my dear. Think more abstract, a level of indirection above types. This is why we call them type classes.”
The ease of her words leaned cheerfully against a solid wall of the complicated concoctions that have been woven and tightened in your mind. You could only throw your head back, stretching yourself on the beanbag, hands returning to apply even more pressure on both sides. “Like an interface describing interfaces? Aarrgghh...”
“Interface to classes, if you go for programming terms,” she corrected your inaccuracy with a smirk, knowing your frustration was not going to subside so fast. She had seen the same troubles from fellow students. The wide frame of her glasses was not the only reason you had the impression that she was the more intelligent of the two of you. Her sharp mind complemented her neat appearance very well, neither ceasing to astonish you time after time. “A common error for beginners. My dear, nothing has been proven to be difficult in this field of math. You will be able to understand it once you internalize the basics.”
In practical terms, Minji basically lived here. The dormitories are small and cramped and not made for living, only sleeping. Those who wanted to keep their sanity would spend their time away from home, be it the library, a café or the clubs. She knew her way around your kitchen better than you knew your own desk. You woke up stumbling over her bag, her clothes interleaved in the forest of notes with the data structures and pens and your own all over the ground.
“And next you are going to tell me computer science is just applied mathematics… This is so much to learn,” you voiced out your exasperation. You caught yourself looking at her. Not like this was an issue, since Minji was used to you staring at her. In fact, she loved it when you admired her beautiful face, her fair and radiating skin and smooth cheeks. No spell had to be cast, yet you were possessed by her deep hazel eyes. She took a sip as if there was nothing troubling you, savoring the cocoa aroma and accidentally dipping her nose into the whipped cream. Your eyes were locked on nothing other than the spot dotting her nose as she put down her mug — she did notice you were following the white tip around. The smile she gave was a more effective balsam than your fingers had been. Your gaze remained fixed on her as she shuffled around behind your back, the smell of cocoa giving way to hers.
“Clear your head, my love,” said Minji with a very calm voice, turning your head forward. Her hands replaced yours as her fingers traced circles all around. The sense of clogged arteries started to dissipate at once. “Let Mommy-ji help you relax.”
Your mind followed her fingers around your scalp, feeling the pressure she applied and where it moved to. Your eyes lose the bind to any sense of perception, no track of focus, your brain only processing being grasped between her palms and her digits. The thoughts occupying your head dissolved just as the tension faded. Blood rushed from your head to other parts of your body, among others getting clogged in a certain appendage, building up pressure. You hope it will not be noticed by her, since you wanted to enjoy the moment with her undistracted.
The endearing name for her had been established for a long time already, a logical consequence given the dynamics of both your behavior. While your lazy bum was busy playing video games or otherwise slacking around, Minji was the one who took care of the house and your needs. She did the laundry and cooked for you just like your parents, even spoon-feeding you at times. Not every meal, of course, only some, but you appreciated those the most. One day you accidentally blurted it out and it stuck.
But the image of her captivating face lingered in your eyes, even though she was out of sight. Her sculpt combined an adorable and young face with the mature image of a grown woman. If you didn’t know better, the round shape of her face would have made you believe that she was younger than you. Long and well-groomed wavy black hair was just the icing on top of her enchanting face.
“Not the time to slack off, lazy boy,” she chuckled. Minji was right, this was a subject that needed to be learned and understood. No way around it. You needed to retort, to explain the break in your studies, albeit it happened at her instigation. Not that you would blame her, though.
“B-but mommy, I’m not procrastinating,” you managed to stammer out while you were under the spell of her fingers. “I’m just d-deferring the effort. You know, lazy evaluation.”
What a counter, Minji burst out in laughter. Holding off on work was a viable strategy in certain cases, being efficient by knowing what was needed, if at all, and in what quantity. But of course, not every part of you followed this idea.
“You may be a smart boy, but what you are clearly demonstrating is a stiff amount of premature optimization,” she whispered into your ear, her essence filling your nose completely and stunning you as she traced a hand down your body towards your crotch. “What a horny boy, forming a boner ahead-of-time.”
And she has not even teased you yet – the strong side-effect of her touch. You could not declare yourself to be pure in your function at all anymore. It was obvious every part of your body was thinking about her and her touch. “I-It’s warming up. For you.”
“For mommy? How nice~,” she said with a joyous voice while reaching out for the visible bulge in your pants. Her palm covered the manly mound in a cup, rubbing it, feeling it up. More blood flocked to her touch, its return to regular circulation clogged by its own formed tissue pouch. While it takes a mountain millions of years to rise, your tent was erected in mere minutes at full size.
“Please take a look, mommy,” you said, as she went down on you. “Watch how much your boy has grown.” You were happy with how your body reacted to her touch. The desire for Minji was burning strong, the steam driving your member boiling hot. The beacon of your passion is lit – your cock calls for its caretaker. She slowly removed your pants, watching your tent pole rise even higher as it was not being held back anymore.
Her hand traced the length up and down multiple times before wrapping her fingers around the shaft. “Always so excited to see me~.” It was like your cock throbbed in response, even though it was simply timing with her fingers. She moved up and down very slowly, for you to savor the feeling, moving blood and tissue around.
Minji barely sped up the pumping, instead opting for a regular rhythm at a steady pace. Like clockwork your mind settled into the flow, breathing in at the ebb and bracing yourself for the flow, when her hand reached the tip. Distant grumbling, thundering muttering from your mouth warned of the oncoming outbreak.
“My love, tell me what you are,” she asked, smirking in anticipation of your reply. Her hand went slower now. Thinking about what Minji wanted to hear, there could only be one answer. Not your name, nor that you are her fellow student and attended the same courses. Such returns would not yield an effect. And if your answer had no effect on her, the result might as well be useless. Slower and slower, slower towards the peak, even slower further away. Idle state. Tension.
“Mommy’sh cude liddle cum fountain,” is the reply you give. That is all what you will ever need to be for her.
“Yes, you are, baby boy~,” Minji approved of you. She dragged her fingers upwards in a slow manner, the tight embrace shifting higher and higher. The alternating grooves and creases of her hand slid across your shaft before leaving your cock, before turning around to cup the shaft and press it against her soft cheeks. Time was nigh’, she demanded your produce. “Cum. I want you to scream.”
At her command, the floodgates of release opened. With intense pressure prostrate launched the stream of ejaculate up into the air. It erupted out in a way more akin to a volcano than a fountain, each spurt leaving with a wave that traveled together with a guttural groan along the entire length of your cock. Minji felt every throb of your member against her cheeks, the hardness thumping against her tender face with each explosion.
“So hard and strong,” Minji praised both your cock and the force of your discharge. “Beating so hard for me~,” she added. The ropes of cum coated her forehead, some getting caught by her eyebrows. Her disheveled hair also showed some wet streaks, collateral damage from the powerful blasts. “Too bad I couldn’t taste any of it,” she demanded more, alluding to the uncertainty principle. To observe how far cum could travel, one could not taste it at the same time.
“Mommy, I want to taste you, too,” you said. The worship of each other’s bodies was a mutual thing, neither of you had the intention to freeload the other’s goodwill. What she gave to you, you better return it many times back. Sensual stimulation is a commutative operation, and it would be a shame if it were performed one-sided only. In other words, love making is better when it is perfectly balanced, as all things should be.
You held her high, pulled her up into a kiss, connected your lips, tongues making out. Your fingers fumbled with the buttons on her delicate sheer blouse. You were quick to pull down her inner top and unclasp her bra, too, revealing her well-developed chest. One of you tripped over – or did someone push? – and again you laid on the ground. It was hard to escape gravity when your soul was weighed down by this radiating beauty and her delectable womanly mounds. All things come to those who wait, but there was no rest for the wicked. You took in everything she had to offer, her smell, her taste, the texture of her skin and how her flesh felt.
Like with any other part of her body, she loved her breasts to be worshipped. Her low hums guided your mouth between her mounds, but your tongue dictated the rhythm of her mellow purrs. The sensation of your devotion to her caused a wave of content pleasure to flood through her body, the current of tingles emanated from her brain surged across her chest, causing sparks to fly through her stomach, and swashed against her core to be forked into separate ripples coasting along her legs, before hitting her toes and causing them to curl.
Your hands did not remain idle. Just like your tongue they moved back and forth all over her body, feeling her up just like you are tasting her breasts. Minji reciprocated your attention by pulling in her lower wings and extending them again, her splendid thighs and heavenly shaped calves were roaming your body. You felt her everywhere, she made sure you got everything from her.
She shifted around, taking away your favorite baby-soother in the process, but instead putting a favorite meal of yours in its place – welcome to your dream world. The musk was strong, a mix of Minji’s own odor mixed with the pungent smell of the dripping wet juices it was coated in. The flavor was both sweet and sour, with a trace of the same taste you experienced on her chest and in her kiss. With every lick on her core, she nudged closer to her destined place on your face. With every fraction of an inch that she moved, she was closer to smothering you completely.
The darkness slowly engulfed you, not that you minded being trapped in the dream – between her voluminous thighs – if it was a good way to bring her pleasure. Plowing through the dampness and exploring the cave before you would be the only way out. A deep dive into her hole brought back a tongue covered in copious amounts of juices, which you deposited in your own mouth before swallowing. You rang her doorbell, asking for a free refill, announcing your return, before entering the cave again.
Minji meanwhile rested on low hills and even shallower grooves, but there was a noticeable pole in front of her. It was hard as steel, yet it was bouncy to her touch. She knew despite its shape it had volcanic properties, being capable of shooting jets of hot ejaculate through its main vent, its solid remains forming a fertile seed for future growth. In fact, she had observed it erupt violently before. A reasonable onlooker would have been cautious in their handling of the erect mast, but Minji was on cloud nine. Her hand was reaching for your shaft. It was as if her brain ran on someone else’s computer.
Minji played with your cock despite the assault on her core by your tongue. It wormed its way inside of her vagina, wriggling around before tracing her lower lips up and down, and drawing a ring around her nub before repeating the procedure. The counterattack to reclaim Wall Maria involved her own tongue tracing your cock up and down, before circling over the bulbous head. Not only did the mast of steel twitch slightly, but the attack stumbled.
Her thick lips now engulfed your shaft. She was out to tame the horny creature beneath her. One would be the tortoise in this hunt to the peak, and the other the hare. Together they would race around the vicious cycle of pleasure, getting each other closer, coming head-to-head on the edge and pulling away again, before entering the next cycle. One was going faster; one was going slower. Because the hornier one would choke on its ambitions, eventually even the tortoise would catch up to the hare. Minji devoured the hare’s tail all the way down, choking on it and feeling it throb and wriggle at the back of her throat. The hare did not relent, however, and instead intensified its attack, its head circling around her nub, unafraid of the secretions her cavern produced in defense, but now even more determined to continue. There would be only one way to break out of this recurring loop – they would have to both lose themselves to pleasure simultaneously.
No matter how hard she worked on it, the pole would not let itself be defused. But without air, there can be no fire. Minji would have to drown the volcano’s air vent, cutting it off from its oxygen supply. You pulled on her thighs, groping her butt, pushing her core further into your face as tight as possible. It was hard to tell who was struggling more, whether she was convulsing more under your assault, or your cock was throbbing harder in her mouth. Small gushes from her walls announced her own impending eruption, telling you to brace yourself for what is to come. But you lose control of yourself when the storm hits you, a downpour of juices bringing you the bliss you were looking for by flooding your mouth and nose. The spit covering the hot rod was not enough to extinguish it, so your cum could fill her throat unhindered.
Minji was gagging on your little volcano as it erupted once more, payback for setting off such a dangerous object. You meanwhile were groaning and choking on her juices while getting drenched by her geyser, locked helpless between her strong thighs. Hips were spasming with their orgasms. Sweaty bodies rubbing against each other, both squirting their fluids into one another.
It took a moment for you both to settle down, to catch your breath. Minji just kept laying on top of you, rubbing your still-hard shaft and thighs and butt. You did the same to her while under her, enjoying the feeling of her.
“I hope your balls are not exhausted yet,” she said with a smile, voice slightly hoarse.
Your answer was to dive back in for a second serving. More of her was never enough. A lot of evenings had gone like this already, and yet you both came to each other for more. This was not the first time you had explored each other. And it won’t be the last time. Breath hitting the wet organs kept the heat in check. She gave you a series of hard squeezes trailing from your thighs to your groin, before getting up.
“I’ll be right back.” Minji went to get something from her bag and threw something on the table, something shiny and square and slightly convex, then she picked up a mug. “Come to me now, baby boy,” she said as she took a sip, but she did not swallow. Now it was her turn to pull you into a kiss. Your mouths connected once more, her tongue pushed through your lips, and you both got to taste the chocolate. Both your tongues danced and wrestled each other in the sweet bath, coating one another and cleansing it off again.
Your hands and arms battled with each other too, groping and guiding each other, pulling on clothes and undergarments to finally get rid of them, getting stuck on every nook and curve. The final piece of wear was her glasses, which she elevated into the air without destination before being catapulted towards the table without aim, bumping against one of the mugs. Another opportunity to trip and fall over, although this time it was you who landed on top of her, noses nearly bumping into each other.
“Minji, how can you be so beautiful,” you conjured up a smile on her face. You loved her beyond her appearance of course. The source of your affection for her was simple: Humans truly are most beautiful when they are just smiling and having fun. Minji could turn your mood around in seconds, and today was no different. Those mesmerizing hazel eyes of her could dissolve any stress you had. “Some days I do wonder why you spend so much time with me,” you whispered your thoughts.
“Midnight, close to you,” she said as she went through her own thoughts. Minji did not have to think a lot. It was easy.
“BEcause I love you.”
Minji launched herself high into another kiss, sucking out of your stomach what hundreds of butterflies had swirled up. It was clear that she appreciated you being there for her just as much as you felt empty without her. “I feel good around you,” she added. She was right. Not only did she spend a lot of time with you, but you went out of the way to be with her, to make her happy, to make her time with you worthwhile.
“I love you, too, mommy.”
Hearing and saying the three words lifted a lot off your mind. She embraced you tighter, your lips seeking out each other. The desire for each other burned strong. Moaning reverbed through each other's mouths. “Mommy, I want you so much,” you managed to say. Your cock was still standing proud, rubbing itself on her doorbell, waiting to be allowed inside.
“Take me as yours then, my chemical hype boy.” Her cheek brushed against yours when smiling. “But first tell me: Would you rather treasure me like a cherished pet or milk me like cattle?” Your logic is screaming: Yes.
Noses hovering over each other, heavy breathing brushing on cheeks and lips, eyes staring into eyes, strong thighs pressing into stronger thighs, one pair spread and the other bent.
“The pole train runs on whole grain!” You screamed, like how bungee jumpers or parachutists exclaim when they plunge boots first into hell. Your cock was racing to be inside of her faster than your thoughts. Like with a perfect equation ready to be solved, you substituted the emptiness in her longing core with the feeling of you. A substitution with the force of a mountain, the heat of a volcano. Minji opened her mouth in shock but in silence, the feeling of your penis spearing itself inside overwhelming her. You were sure she wanted to say something, but no voice came out of her.
Her breathing was labored, sudden gasps with each thrust. Her walls were tight, the cavern had to give way to the intrusive pole forcing its way inside. A ripple, this time physical, traveled from her butt cheeks up her body each time your hip crashed into hers, a wave of pressure making its way to the outlet between her other cheeks before finally venting.
Her tits were squeezed between her body and your chest, but that did not stop them from shaking around with the ripple passing through. Every woman was built different, felt different, thought different. But Minji had made it clear to you that she loved to be overwhelmed.
She had her eyelids closed, letting the waves of bliss wash over her and throughout her body. Her little boy could reach far deeper than your tongue ever could. And it was way bigger, stretching her wider. But Minji enjoyed her time with both – after all, each had their merits. A tongue could not just worm itself into unexplored areas, but also move and rub and push unlike a penis. For now, she just enjoyed her walls being parted in rhythm.
But a question still lingered in your mind. Perhaps now you were more receptive to understanding the concept.
“Minji, tell me again, how do monads work?”
Not a very romantic question, and especially not suitable for intercourse, but she was used to your constant babbling, an indication that your head was free and unoccupied – better hope that we are not going down a rabbit hole. Not that you ever stopped making fun of everything. At the same time, you were not the only one capable of making jokes.
“A monad is just a monoid in the category of endofunctors, what’s the problem?” she answered with a straight face. Your steady rhythm barely interrupted her voice, a strong display of her composure. You understood the words, but the sentence did not make any sense. Well, ok, maybe not even the words. You should admit that you did not understand anything.
“I could tell you a monad joke, but first... I would need to tell you jokes about functors and... applicatives,” she told another, smiling. Is this retribution for your own silly jokes? She was starting to pant between words. “What do you call... a verb that likes to apply... for jobs?” She was giggling. This one did not make any sense.
“Please, no, stop mommy,” you pleaded. She knew how to get you. You tried to muffle her with a kiss, but she managed to break free. “An applicative,” Minji laughed when telling you the answer. It was a pun, a word play, rather than a scientific joke. “I know some more~,” she chuckled.
“Let me come up with something, too.” It took you a moment, but an idea popped into your head. The missing piece to an equation that no one had been able to solve yet. You could just barely hold your laughter in anticipation. Let us start with the abstract: “Hey, mommy, let me ask you, what’s one plus one?”
Minji realized where this was going. This was simple math, albeit with an imaginary component. “Are you serious!? Three?”
“Well, let’s suppose, inside of your pussy. Penis goes in, penis and baby come out. Math does not check out, what’s missing?” Setting up the introduction for this joke with a central question, you tried to nudge an answer out of her. And the hint you gave Minji was to give her the mating press.
Minji growled. “Fucking sex-ed. That’s how biology works… silly boy.” She was not about to give in to the riddle you had posed. But the thrusts would not stop until the punchline had been served.
“Indeed, the female anatomy is something wonderful, creating new life from nothing more than a deftly deep dicking.” If only you were as smart with your studies instead of cracking terrible jokes. While this was not an exact science, the conclusion that making babies was a product made of thin air and the energy induced by the pounding is alluringly plausible, however inherently flawed.
“OMG fucking hurry up,” she shouted, having had enough of your nonsense. Slowly losing her composure, Minji tightened her embrace around you, closed her eyes, bit on her lips, pulling you in closer. She was close, you could hear it in how she alternated between moaning and squealing. It was also difficult for you to uphold the asymptotic behavior as your hammering approached the edge. It was clear that the limit was about to be reached.
“The most important secret sauce to make mommy a real mommy,” you panted. You were not far behind Minji in the race to the finish line, and you wanted to beat her. It only took you a few more thrusts until your hips began to buckle, starting to spasm – but not just yours. One last push would bring you both over the edge. Finally, content with the procedure so far, you proclaim the solution: “My cum!”
Once is happenstance. Twice is sincere lovemaking. Thrice is proving that Minji is going to get knocked up today. None of her attempts today to stop the volcano have borne any fruit. For one more time Mt. Priapus erupted with boiling hot fervor, sending a stream of molten cream blazing its way through the caverns behind mommy’s lavatory, leading into the chamber of secrets. A tide of secretion was launched against the current, it tried in vain to quench the heat. From the ashes of the hot liquid flooding her womb, a young new phoenix shall rise.
“Cum goes into the whole. Equation is complete. The sum of the ingredients is now empty. Q.E.D. Geddit?” Your cheeky joke was rewarded solely with your own laughter, and a pinch on the nose by her. In closing, this was nothing more than a silly mood booster. You stayed on top of a sweaty Minji, still embracing her tightly while she kept panting, smiling, showing her cheeks.
“What an astoundingly terrible scientific conclusion...” Minji did not know whether to groan or to laugh. Droplets of sweat were running down her face, body sticking to the floor, but she was visibly satisfied with what you had laid on the table. This is a contradiction with her reaction to your elaborate joke. “I think we should invite Yoo over for a peer review,” she suggested suggestively.
You tried to be respectful of her offer, but you were not ready yet. “I-I have barely anything written yet—” Another pinch on your nose cut you off. “I was talking about something else, innocent little—”
A sudden realization hit her. Did she forget something on the stove? Was Minji hatching a devious plan for your future endeavors? Were you too hasty? Would she be open to multiple inheritance with Yoo? The chocolate was getting cold. Glittering on the table. No, something was different this time. She put on a vicious smile that made you feel uneasy.
“Horny boy, when did I give you permission to not use protection?”
Given her question, the answer may be obvious. But we both know that this is an exercise left for the reader.
