The hardest part of planning out my Fandom Trumps Hate creator submission (a fandom auction to benefit progressive nonprofits like Disability Law United, the Freedom to Read Foundation, and Advocates for Trans Equality, among others) is that I'm a chronic overthinker.
Do I offer a single large fic for auction, and list a couple of fandoms that I know I can comfortably write large fic for? Do I offer a couple smaller fics that would add up to a similar wordcount, in a wider assortment of fandoms that I'd be comfortable writing something shorter for, in the hope it will have a wider appeal?
Currently thinking about offering a single larger fic with the possible fandoms: TMNT 2003, Rise of the TMNT, Transformers, or Final Fantasy XV.
If I committed to something (multiple somethings?) smaller, I could probably add Persona 5, Final Fantasy VII, and/or Sanders Sides to that list.
I have until creator sign-ups open on Monday to figure it out I guess.
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
It's the early 2000s, and Donny and Mikey begin to figure out who they are and how they want to be seen. It's messy and far from straightforward, but they'll get there together, surrounded by the people who love them.
[Genderfluid Mikey and agender Donny (with a little background Leo/Usagi) - a pride month fic.]
This is broken up into chapters because it is *long,* but I tried to get it in under the wire so it will all still have been posted in June!
A little questionably-canon Hold Every Memory oneshot!
@cadoodledoodleydoo reached out to me with a prompt/question about if the kids could enter the astral plane by themselves, and possibly summon their uncles. My answer was basically 'kind of, I think, under specific circumstances, because of stuff I haven't publicly elaborated on yet' and then I took that thought and ran with it and it turned out to be well over 1,000 words :'D
('Questionably canon' because it involves some characterization and setting choices that I haven't 100% solidified on because I'm not quite there yet. Don and Lou moving to a bigger place at some point, for example.)
Lee crawling? A menace.
Lee toddling along? A menace at hyperspeed. The worst baby criminal. Deserving of baby jail.
"I'm going to hold this pint-sized terror captive until we both go to sleep," Don groaned into the arm he had draped over his face. His other was busy pinning a wiggling, singing Lee to his plastron who had not stopped making noise at the top of his lungs since he'd woken up five hours earlier and had been in perpetual motion for just as long. Don, himself, had been awake much longer; Dee had had a terrible reaction to something they'd fed him last night at dinner, and had spent much of the night miserably retching into a bucket and sobbing his little heart out while Don rubbed gentle circles into his shell. Dee had slept in afterwards, but Lee had decided to be obnoxious today - possibly out of empathy for his brother, they were so oddly in sync - and Don had not had that same luxury. Even a reduced set of three kids needed two pairs of eyes on them when they were these kids in particular.
"Good luck, my friend," Lou said, and as he walked by the couch he made sure to pat Don on the head in good humor. He had been off the hook with Dee because he'd sat up with the last sick kid, the smug jerk.
Don mumbled something into the crook of his elbow. He felt Lee trying to slide free and tightened up his grip just a little bit more.
It took almost thirty minutes before Lee finally seemed to give up and start winding down. In that time, Don's thoughts had slowly softened, turning sluggish, trying to slide to the astral plane or sink down into sleep, and he'd had to keep forcefully dragging himself back to wakefulness. Lee settling was the last straw.
He drifted.
He sank.
(Lee, on the other hand: well...)
---
"Listen buddy, my pal, my guy, you're gonna burn yourself out if you don-" Mike froze.
So.
He was used to Donnie's calls, right? Summons from beyond the beyond. Faint, almost impossible to notice unless you were actively looking for it with your eyes closed and your whole heart and brain in on it. It was as common a sensation these days as an itchy nose or a growling stomach.
So when it hit Mike in the chest with the force of a slap, clumsy and electric and sweet... he knew something was wrong. It didn't feel like Donnie one little bit.
He slipped out with zipped lips and a quick casual salute, almost an afterthought, pretending he couldn't see the sudden concerned glances his way. The discussion would have to be To Be Continued, apparently. This was more important, whatever it was. This was something wrong with Donnie, or something wrong with their connection, and either way? Bad news.
He didn't even worry about getting to their little meditation closet, just sunk into the shadows and shimmied up the nearest support beam and into the rafters, where he nestled himself semi-comfortably and closed his eyes. The pull was insistent and irregular, like the other end was getting impatient.
Even following the tug was different: faster, more forceful, more like giving in than reaching out to meet in the middle. But when he opened his eyes -
Oh.
Okay?
Lee shrieked with joy, babbling something like hi hi hi unca mi', and flexed his hands in the universal sign for pick me up, please, so I can stuff my fingers up your nose and jam my impossibly knobby elbows into the softest spots on your arms and probably lick you because I'm a little monster and you love me. The buzz of mischief-exhaustion-excitement confirmed it.
Mike looked around for Donnie. For any of those green ghosty guys. For literally anybody else.
Did you call me? He asked, like Lee could possibly answer.
Lee's only response was to giggle uproariously, clapping his hands together before once again motioning to be picked up.
---
Waking up from the nap was like surfacing from the deep depths of the ocean, leaving Don groggy and discombobulated. For a moment, he wasn't anything at all, and then he suddenly remembered he had hands to wiggle and toes to flex. His head pounded just a little as he stretched. The little weight he was clutching to his chest, loose and limp in a sleep of its own, brought back an awareness of who he was and who he was with.
He ran his thumb back and forth over Lee's rising and falling shell, grateful that they'd both gotten the sleep they deserved. Finally.
He sat up, careful not to disturb his sensitive cargo, and tiptoed all the way to the nursery room where he set Lee down, leaving him to his nap with a silent full-body sigh of relief.
---
"Is Lee still asleep?"
"Apparently. That's... weird, for him."
"Maybe he's catching up on sleep. Dee was pretty loud."
"Yeah. Maybe."
---
Okay, so show me the orange thread again. Orange. Where's orange?
Lee pointed to thin air. O'ange. Unca mi'.
Great! Now where's red?
Lee pointed to thin air. The same thin air? Maybe slightly to the left? Red! Red, red red.
Wonderful. Fantastic. You're a little Einstein in the making. Now for the million dollar question: is there a purple thread?
Lee looked around, twisting his head this way and that from his position in Mike's arm.
Purple. Purple like your turtle dad. Purple thread?
Tad! Lee's little tail wiggled with joy.
Tad! Oh, that was really cute. Did the kiddos come up with that one themselves? Mike was super proud.
Yeah, your Tad. Any chance you can see a purple thread anywhere?
It was a long shot, but they couldn't see their own threads, so maybe Donnie did have one, but it was invisible to him. Donnie had to be wondering what was up by now, right? Lee had to be unconscious or something over in the magic dimension. Would he even think to check the astral plane?
Lee's gaze settled on something, but then focused back on Mike, his smile widening to show off the sharpness of his canines just the tiniest bit, and the air lit up with searingly brilliant mischievousness. No!
Oh come on!
---
"Lee's still asleep. I'm really starting to think something's wrong."
"Maybe whatever Purple had is contagious?"
---
Don slipped into meditation with the same practiced ease as he did most evenings. As he snapped his eyes open, he realized that he wasn't nearly as alone as he always was at this stage of the proceedings, and his pulse pounded hard, once, until he realized who exactly was in front of him.
Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, Mike shushed loudly. I just got him to sleep and if you wake him up I will suplex you, okay? I swear.
He looked ragged, his mask askew with drool and chew marks, his posture hunched. It appeared Lee had put him through the wringer. The culprit himself was drooling on Mike's shoulder, hefted up in his arm.
Are you kidding me, Donnie said flatly, suddenly very tired again. We thought he had been asleep, how did-?
Dunno, but he did, Mike sighed. Called me, even, thank shell. Which, did you know they could see the threads?
I guessed. Donnie remembered the few times the kids had leaned forward in his arms when he went to go summon his brothers, like they had wanted nothing more than to submerge their own hands into the beautiful streams of light. He wasn't sure if it was something to do with exposure to mystic energy at a young age or what, exactly.
Well it was certainly an experience. Hey, Donnie, if you ever really need us, like in a crisis? Have one of them do it.
Sure? Okay.
But not anytime soon. I need to go sleep for, he checked his blank wrist like looking at a watch, ever.
Donnie patted him on the shell. Thank you very much for the emergency babysitting, Mike. The thought of Lee's soul alone in the astral plane was... it could have been so much worse, honestly. Like Mike would say, 'new fear unlocked.' Did he have to be worried about any time the kids fell asleep on him now?
Anytime, anytime. Well, not tonight. But anytime other than tonight. And maybe not right before a mission, or if I haven't slept well the night before, or if April needs me to run errands, or Christmas, or Labor Day, or Cinnamon Roll Day, and I'd really like at least alternate Tuesdays off - actually, have your guy call my guy, okay? But Mike grinned and winked.
The transfer of sleepy Lee back to Donnie's arms was slow and precise and a little nerve-wracking, but he really was out like a light. Something settled in Donnie with Lee back in his arms, healthy and safe.
Listen, I know tonight was gonna be a hangout, but-
I get it, Donnie said. Mike had gotten enough hanging out all afternoon today. You're off the hook. As a treat.
Mike laughed at the meme, as Donnie knew he would, trying so hard to be quiet. Thanks, dude. Now my stomach has the rumblies only salami can satisfy.
(...getting these memes secondhand sometimes meant Donnie felt a little lost, but at least Mike was having fun.)
---
Lee was back in his body. Don could tell, now that he was actively thinking about it. It was part of that weird sixth sense he'd been experiencing more and more lately, where he instinctively seemed to know where each of the kids were without having to turn around and look, and even sometimes know when Lee was about to get into trouble because he'd feel this barely-there prickle of amusement.
Something to think about, maybe. To learn to control. It could be an invasion of privacy otherwise.
He tucked the blankets more tightly around Lee.
Well, in one way, the quiet had been nice while it lasted. Maybe Raph would be up for babysitting, sometime...
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the
Organization for Transformative Works
Leo had felt warm before. Obviously. He'd huddled next to the radiator in the middle of the winter, taken a steaming shower in April's bathroom, and on more than one late movie night he'd slept under a thick pile of brothers and blankets until he woke up too hot and sweatily wriggled himself free. He'd never sat out under the bright morning sun, though, and he'd never felt warm like this.
[The turtles, fresh from their adventures across the universe, relax in Northampton.]
I'm only up to season 4 on my rewatch and I don't remember if this is canon compliant with anything past that. But fan_flashworks had a prompt "Sunshine" and I just wanted to write something warm and relaxing!
~●○°●○°●○~
Likes: Secret reveals (secret identity, secret existence, secret internal angst, anything one character hides from another that gets revealed in some way,) soft interpersonal moments, fluff, hurt/comfort, touch starvation. I enjoy angst (even intense and/or lengthy angst) when it makes a happy ending feel well earned!
Squicks: Hurt No Comfort, unhappy endings, permanent identity/personality loss, secondhand embarrassment, characters dying and reuniting in the afterlife, miscommunication that causes genuine hurt.
Favorite Iteration(s): 2k3, Rise, Batman vs.
~●○°●○°●○~
Prompt #1 TMNT 2003: Donny makes some online friends who are ordinary humans and who believe he is an ordinary human in turn. How do they all find out he's actually a mutant turtle, and how do they react?
-
Prompt #2 TMNT 2003: Splinter did his best to teach the turtles about human culture, but between his rat upbringing and the TV they watched, there are assumptions they made about humans and human culture that is simply not true. This comes to a head when they are staying with April, and/or April is staying with them.
-
Prompt #3 Hold Every Memory AU: What do you give (for christmas/mutation day/etc.) to the turtle who has basically nothing, but who you can't physically touch, or give physical things to? (The HEM 2k3 Turtles celebrate their first holiday sometime after they start meeting in the astral plane.)
-
Prompt #4 Hold Every Memory AU: The Rise kids/babies/tots/teens/etc. (your choice) turtle pile with Don.
-
Prompt #5 Hold Every Memory AU: The connection Don forged between himself and his brothers is stronger, more powerful, right from the get go. In what ways/how it affects both sides is up to you.
-
~●○°●○°●○~
Since Ghost in this au is shown to have mystic powers and can actively harness it (ie: the geometric shapes on his arms in the first fic and the threads of his bros) what else can he do aside from threads? Can he do smth similar to Donnie’s Ninpo if he pushed himself ? And how did he get that mystic stuff? Did he always have it but never manifested as strongly due to the nature of the 2003 verse (like the dragon thing ) or is this current mystic power a result of his long term exposure in the 2018 verse? Also how do you think his bros will react to their bro’s Mystic powers that he definitely didn’t have before?
Ps: I love your AU so much. Your fics are so well written and characterisation is so good. Ghost in the shell is such a well written story but it’s so, so very sad 😭 its makes me so happy to see a world where is Ghost happier out there. Also sorry for the long ask I’m just extra curious, Ghost being actively aware and sorta using the mystic energy inside him is so interesting and has so much potential hehe. Like imagine a scenario where Ghost/Don in a fit of protective rage either cuz of the tots or his bros or both does a boom of mystic and everyone goes HUH??
Hello!!
I want to start by saying the usual disclaimer that anything I'm about to say applies solely to Hold Every Memory, because the more this AU grows, the more of my own ideas and wishes and things get fed into it.
Also, very little is set into absolute stone until it appears in a HEM story for sure - a lot of the time, as I'm writing, things will spin a little differently than I expect because they need to for character or plot reasons, or words will randomly appear on the screen and I'll learn how things work directly from my subconscious, which is exciting. But still! I have been thinking about this stuff, so I'm really happy to have the opportunity to ramble :D
And don't apologize for the long ask! I loved it! I just hope you don't mind a looooong reply. Lots of stuff in here that some might consider spoilery, as a heads up!
--
I think Don had a groundwork of some different type of mystic potential from his own universe, but environmental exposure to empyrean/mystics over the years, maybe more direct exposure courtesy of Big Mama?, brought it from a latent capability to something much closer to the surface, significantly strengthened it, and shaped it a little to fit his new universe. Connecting to his brothers in the Battle Nexus, that rush of soul energy and powerful love, unlocked it! Battle Nexus went boom.
I think at a base level, he's capable of doing standard mystic stuff - activating and using mystic weapons and devices, like how Splinter could use the ōdachi in "Battle Nexus New York," for example. Casting some spells, too, and using common mystic techniques. If he were to practice or be trained specifically in the use of mystics in battle, he could use it to boost his speed and strength. He'll never be as powerful as a Hamato, though, with that well of ninpō power at their disposal.
Creating the threads wasn't any sort of innate, specialized ability at the time. It was an act of desperation. Don's burst of incredible willpower in that moment shaped his soul and his suddenly active mystic powers in ways they weren't originally made to be used. Over time, though, like stretching a muscle, the threads become central to his mystic 'specialization,' as it were. So if Leo = portals, Raph = energy projections of himself, Don =… connection? Possibly?
(In SAINW, there's a moment where Michelangelo mentions that "without you, it just didn't work," framing Donny as the lynchpin keeping his family together. (I do think it could have happened if any of them had disappeared, but let's focus on Donny for the angst and the parallels here.) And in HEM, Don is the one tying together his old family and his new family. Always at the center.)
If he wasn't constantly stretched between realities and everyone was in the same universe, he'd always know where they were, instinctively. They could be across town or half a world away, but if Don thought about them, his head would turn unerringly in that precise direction. It might include some amount of empathy/telepathy too.
One thing I'm solid on is that he has to come into contact, spiritually or physically, to someone to develop a connection, a thread. It might happen quite quickly and almost thoughtlessly with the counterparts of all his old family and friends upon meeting them, and for any new friends he meets it might happen once he truly considers them family.
(Which makes me think of how funny it would be if he met Foot Recruit and found himself with a spontaneous thread to her, too - who the heck is she supposed to be??? Too late now, though, she's family, whether anybody including her wants her to be or not. Assigned Splinterson-Hamato At First Contact.)
Can he use powers similar to Donnie? He might be a teeny tiny bit of a technopath! I'd like to think that was one of the potential directions his mystic powers could have headed before the threads threw them out of wack. Infusing portals with mystic energy, a little boost when hacking the EPF's bank accounts, etc. Very little things, but enough that he and Donnie can have a little similarity to bond over as a treat.
As for surprising his brothers with his mystic powers, finding out that he had landed in a universe with witches and yokai and superpowers blew their minds, but it was all wrapped up in the overwhelming difficulty of processing that he was alive at all. They know he's been using mystics in the development of his more recent portal attempts, vaguely, but they for sure don't realize/understand the extent of what he can do. There's really no reason for him to use mystic powers in the astral plane, nothing for him to do with them and the real risk of unbalancing the delicate threads, so he just doesn't. I think seeing him use mystic powers for real would delight Mike to no end, all surface-level envy and deep excitement, Raph would think them awesome and possibly want to spar while Don is mystic boosted to see what he can do, and Leo might be proud and fascinated and maybe a little quietly jealous. If - and this is really just something I'm tossing around for fun - if Don could actually pool and distribute mystic energy through his threads, those soul-to-soul connections, then they could all benefit and get a level-up, so no jealousy for long. Honestly I think all the brothers would be super cool with Rise style mystic powers but Mike would make me a little nervous, haha
---
When I was originally starting to bounce this whole thing around in my head, I ended up with a little example snippet of what his powers could look like in practice. The telepathy/empathy bits, at least.
P.S. Thank you so much!!! It sends me over the moon, like full on walking on air for days, to hear when people like my writing style and characterization. I'm still new to putting myself out there in this way, so I stress out over it all way more than I should, and getting this kind of message makes it all worth it :D
I love GitS to death and this AU is born out of the most incredible affection for it. I wouldn't change a single thing about any of it even if I could, all those aching bruises and all, but writing an alternate universe branch where Everything's Beautiful and Very Little Hurts is just cathartic as heck. I'm just glad reading this AU is scratching the same itch for some people that writing it has been!! Because it really is a joy to write.
2k3 Pride Month fic (genderfluid Mikey and agender Donny) will be heavily edited today, and my hope is to have it up by the end of the day. Just under the wire for June.
It's 12,500 words as of right now.
It's really long for a single chapter oneshot, so I'm probably going to split it up, but the chapters are only going to be posted maybe an hour or so apart because I just want it *out* and I feel like the story works best as a whole.
Hold Every Memory musings (and... kind of an announcement?):
Back in January, I wrote an incomplete scene from the SAINW side of things as I was puzzling over how I wanted to handle it and also working out their characterizations a little. They're ten years older, ten years stressed, ten years of hurt between them.
I decided not to finish that or write anything from the SAINW side, and stick solely with Don's point of view, for a reason -
The readers get to know as much as Don knows, and his brothers are not telling him the gory details. They're trying to protect him - what can he do, stuck on the other side? How much to tell him, how much would he stress out over events he can't possibly affect? Being in the astral plane is an escape for them, as well. Their reasons are many and complicated.
The audience gets to experience the same lack of information that Don does. They get to stew in that same uncertainty. Many readers know how bad it gets, but we're only a third of the way into that timeline, so how bad is it actually, right now? It's been fun reading comments where people's imaginations seem to be filling in the blanks. I love it a lot.
...but I know, I've been thinking about it pretty hard, actually. I have a rough timeline for all of it. And I had some inspiration while talking to @cadoodledoodleydoo the other night, and I think I know the sort of story I want to tell, now, if I were to really dig into what the SAINW crew has been up to.
I'm getting closer to being done with the Lou Jitsu oneshot. I'm thinking if I can piece together the Leo oneshot, that would be where Don really gets the inside scoop. And once those doors are opened, and Don and the readers know where things stand?
I might end up telling that story. A little detour from Don's head. Maybe.
As with all HEM fics, if I end up doing this I'm going to be yoinking a song lyric for the title, and I'm thinking this one will be from Pompeii by Bastille.
