why he had dragged her along to this silly event, jisoo wouldn’t know. she didn’t see what the point was, besides milking people for many because of the train to busan movie craze. it was a nice little cash cow, she’d give it that. her brother, though, was being incredibly embarrassing with his squeaks and squeals here and there. “you know it’s all fake, right? you’re not actually going to get eaten and die.”
she flicks the hair of her blue wig behind her shoulder, blinking away the cloudiness of some make up getting in her eye as they continue on, looking around for zombies or whatever it is they’re supposed to be doing. “seriously, why are we even here if you can’t handle this kind of stuff? shouldn’t we do something more your pace? like a carnival or something?” at this point she’s tempted to get her phone out and start filming him and his squealish ways. maybe then he’d start keeping his shit together.
kun swears he’s only been gone for three minutes. that’s three minutes of the entire night dedicated to swaying around the bathroom ‘cause he drank a little too much. and when he stumbles out and back into the living room, he immediately notices that something’s off. granted, it’s hard not to notice when a whole body’s missing. ( no worries, they didn’t murder anyone. )
“hyung?” he dips his head into the kitchen. no sign of jonghyun. he helps himself down the hall into the other’s room. again, no sign of jonghyun. what the hell? he took his eyes off him for three minutes and now---
𝗥𝗘: 김종현 ▸ 04 𝙎𝙈𝙎 𝙍𝙀𝘾𝙀𝙄𝙑𝙀𝘿 !
— ✉ : hey
— ✉ : where di dyou go
— ✉ : ???
— ✉ : did you leaveg?????
the question then becomes -- where would jonghyun even go? it’s nearing midnight, and this is where he lives. . . . wait, where’s teri? oh god, where’s their son?!
Dongyoon doesn’t have anger issues, sure if you asked anyone but Dongyoon they said he for sure gets angry to easily, but if you ask Dongyoon then he’ll tell you he’s good at keeping his calm. The endless amount of bruises and scars tells otherwise, if you know Dongyoon well enough then you know he’s pretty good at getting in fights, actual fights where fits get thrown and ribs broken. Now not to brag, but Dongyoon is good at fighting, and usual he’s also good at fighting, maybe that’s because Dongyoon isn’t completely dumb, normally he won’t go against anyone triple his size or multiple people, sometimes he can handle two fragile people, but Dongyoon knows he can’t handle a whole gang.
But lately since he joined KT he stopped getting in fights, he’s trying his best to keep his calm, he needs a somewhat good image, imagined if he debuted and the moment he did it he would be known as the guy who used to get in fights, eh, doesn’t sound perfect huh.
It’s Dongyoon’s birthday and he is just heading to the grocery store to get himself a birthday cake, it’s his cheat day today, he’s going to spend the day with his pets, perhaps he should’ve spent it with his boyfriend, but he still has yet to tell Bambam when his birthday is. But in the middle of his happily walking he sees some people in an alley, and everything tells him to walk away, that it looks a bit to dangerous and suspicious, yet while he’s thinking all this he’s walking in the direction of the people. When he gets closer he can see the people more clearly, and it kind of seems like a bunch of dudes teamed up on one “hey what’s going on over here?!” he shouts, voice clear and loud, Dongyoon promises himself he’s not here to fight, just figure out what’s happening and calm things down.
his phone buzzes in his hand. a message from him. he reads it. re-reads it. then turns his phone off and tucks it away, trading it for a key.
“i’m home,” he announces as he toes off his shoes and gives a rather excited teri a pat to the head. “jonghyun?” it’s not too terribly late, so @jkimrk should still be up. most likely, he’s in his room with headphones on, but as zhengting did with his previous roommate, he double-checks just in case.
he knocks once, twice on jonghyun’s door before opening it and popping his head in. “hey, i brought takeout---” he falls silent at the sight of alcohol sitting to its lonesome on the desk. drinking? on a monday? that’s a first.
“did you stay in bed all day?”
he picks up a stray sweater and tosses it onto the chair, then sets the takeout down right next to the bottle of alcohol, which he notices is empty. “really?” he shouldn’t judge, because he gets it---but at the same time, jonghyun is drinking alone on a monday. brow furrowing, he walks over to the bed and yanks the covers back. “c’mon, up.”
as far as he’s concerned, he’s on good footing with jonghyun. their initial get to know you meeting was well, normal -- as normal as kun would’ve liked. and since he’s moved in, they’ve had no problems ( although that may very well be because he’s rarely home ). either way, they’ve been living together for some time now, and practically the only thing he knows about jonghyun is his name . . . and that he’s rich enough to live in a penthouse.
that is to say, he barely knows his new roommate.
which brings them both here at the coex mall: jonghyun mid-dance battle, kun mingling to the side to cheer him on. it started off a bit awkward. they talked, but it’s mostly just mindless chatter. the only thing he really latched onto was jonghyun’s involvement with dance classes -- something he quirked an eyebrow to, only to later find himself impressed. impressed enough to the point where he’s itching to stand beside him to compete.
had this been contemporary dance, kun’s certain that he’d win. but just dance is more hip hop and modern -- styles he’s still learning. and perhaps it’s just that little bit of adrenaline kick that makes him step up after jonghyun’s consecutive wins. “breaking your streak,” he says with a grin. he eyes the song selection before choosing what seems like the hardest one. “loser buys dinner.”
he pulls the cap's brim down, adjusts the mask that covers the lower half of his face. his eyes dart about -- to his roommate, jonghyun, then to the busking stage, then finally to the crowd they're a part of.
he shouldn't be here.
not that it's illegal, but he took today off. he should be spending it with his partner. their time is limited to rare days off and those short, short minutes before he'd pass out from exhaustion. they should be here together. but they’re not.
in truth, he's starting to feel that suffocation. he's starting to feel that need to be someone who's good for him, someone who can be there, someone who exists---because right now, they don't exist. not to the world, not to their friends, their families. they only exist behind closed doors, hands strung together, tucked behind their backs. hush.
he knows they're different in that regard.
he introduced him to jonghyun as his 'close childhood friend' who would always come over at every opportune moment. in stark contrast, he didn't stop him from kissing above the collarbone, sucking on sweet skin until a pretty purple blossomed. he hid; he wanted people to see. and that's precisely where they disagree.
there's guilt.
of course, there is.
there's always guilt.
guilt, shame. they both exist on the same spectrum. but there's nothing he can do to rid himself of the unsettling feeling. there's discomfort when they're sitting side-by-side -- not because he's ashamed of him, but because he's ashamed of himself. he preaches be yourself, sings there's no harm in trying. but he can't even bring himself to reach out and hold his hand. and god, he knows that's what he wants. and it's so simple, so easy, for him to reach out, to reach across and lace their fingers together.
but he can't.
and the fact that he can't do this one simple action, this one gentle brush of affection---it feeds into this guilt that eats him from the inside out. self-inflicted suffocation. that's what it is.
he deals with it like he always does: he runs.
like he ran from yeosang, he runs from him.
he creates an excuse with jonghyun. hey, we should perform together. that's his suggestion: innocent and friendly, an invitation to get to know his new roommate better. and it's partially that, but it's also partially so he has a reason, an excuse, to not see him.
it's an awful thing, this he knows and he knows well. but he doesn't want to give up on them yet, doesn't want to give in. a part of him relishes on a future where he can breathe, where they can exist -- he just needs space. time. things that he has given him plenty of, yet nothing has changed. nothing at all.
"we're next. nervous?" he reaches out and places a hand on jonghyun’s shoulder, his eyes flickering over. "don't be. you'll be fine." though he says this in reference to their stage, the gentle squeeze tells something more. he knows jonghyun's not in the best state either, so the least he can do is be here for him.
but the squeeze doesn't come without consequence. he feels it: his gut twisting, his skin crawling. he's doing it again. again and again -- running away and pretending it's for the best.
he's helping jonghyun. he's being here for him.
( no, he's not. he's disappearing. he left him on read since yesterday. )
he looks to the stage where a guitarist and a vocalist stand, harmonizing. frowns. that could have been them. he could've asked to collaborate with him, but he didn't. they could be standing here, hand-in-hand, whispering opinions of every busk to each other, but they're not.
they're not.
they won't.
he won't---
NEXT UP, KIM JONGHYUN AND LUCKY PIG.
his phone buzzes in his pocket.
he ignores it, playfully smacks jonghyun's arm.
"let's go."
( running, ignoring, pushing things off---it’s truly what he does best. )
rose shuffles into royal’s organic cafe one afternoon on her lunch break, eager to find something to keep her going for the day. at first glance; the cafe still seems to be very popular. of course it would be, it was royal branded after all. the cafe is bustling, with staff and customers alike. rose tugs at the black ribbon in her hair after she steps over the threshold of the cafe, now surveying her surroundings. should she take something to go or should she sit in and have something at the cafe? rose bites her lip, her eyes catching sight of the menu hanging above the queue.
it’s amidst her thoughts about what she’s going to do next that she spots someone sitting alone at one of the cafe’s tables. a rather familiar someone, a young man. rose’s brows narrow as she tries to figure out if it’s him or not, this person she believes is her ex-boyfriend. from a few years ago; neither jaebum or kangjoon. her first ever boyfriend from high school, from sopa. rose was just a bright-eyed school girl, straight out of australia who could barely form a korean sentence. that girl fell for one hell of a teenage playboy. rose chuckles to herself and without much thought, finds herself wandering over to the table to sit in the empty chair opposite him.
rose leans back in the chair, folding her arms across her chest, waiting for him to pounce.
