A statement. Not an argument.
Here’s the thing: I believe in God. I’m not asking you to prove me wrong or tell me that you don’t believe in God. And I’m not going to tell you that being an atheist or agnostic or Buddhist or Muslim is stupid. Because that’s not my statement. My statement is that I believe in God. I know it doesn’t make sense and that it seems foolish to cling to an “outdated” description of an external being. But I believe in God.
There are places where God exists, places where the presence of God is overwhelmed by our sin and disobedience. Sometimes God is in the dirt and muck and shit of humanity. An sometimes sin is in the lofty towers and shining ivory cathedrals of worship. But these places and things don’t seem to diminish Him. I wish I could understand why this makes sense. Why I cling to something that everyone sees as too simplistic and archaic to be relevant. But I have seen God whisper when no one comes around. I’ve seen him move in crowds and in lives and weave tapestries like stories and make connections that should not make sense. I find purpose here despite my resignation to be meaningless.
We bump into the notion of a soul or an afterlife or fate. We write it off as if it was a flight into fantasy or an electrochemical response- the spaces where the cracks reside. But then we bump into it over and over and over again. Sometimes, it belongs to our story and flowers like beauty in the middle of the night. Sometimes the more powerful take control and use our beliefs to frighten and confuse us. The primal fight and initial response to the worlds around us fights for a response or is crushed with fists into the threshing floor.
I’ve watched the tapestry of lives be formed by an invisible hand, weaving all together. I’ve seen my child, heartbeat weak and finished, gasp for life and for air when everyone else had given up hope. They were moving him to pronounce him dead. I witnessed the breath of life with my own two eyes. A miracle. I have no other words for what was seen.
I don’t know why I'm telling you this; why you care or don’t care isn't my concern. What I'm telling you is that I have seen the Hem of His Garments. He is terrible and wonderful and mysterious. He sprays life into the abyss and binds the laws of physics together in ways we cannot.
I believe in God. The rest of the argument goes on.
