CC Yapsesh 3: Jocie + Orphelyn Song Essay
omggggg the amount of brainrotting I’ve done for LoveLake and orphelyn the past few days…😅
AND NOW I’VE GOT A SONG ESSAY FOR THE LATTER!!!💖 the song is “His Hands” by Blegh- it’s very niche, but it’s got a rly cool kind’ve feel to it! <3 I think @sallowsoul might like this (I hope so🙈) too so I’ll also tag her
Without further ado….song essay for orphelyn!!! For @amus2110
The song is here:
Tagging my peeps who said they were interested in my yaps🙈:
@light-of-the-room , @sallowsoul , @lyra-prag , @karajluce , @dovewonderland. Also, Laura, I’m working on the LoveLake picture💗
The essay begins below the cut (warning: this is VERY VERYYYYY LONG)
The sound
The lyrics have a LOT of analysis so let’s cover the sound of it first!!! First- probably the most noticeable thing is the slightly erratic heartbeat sound that plays all throughout the sound. Perfectly conveys Jocie’s feelings of deep infatuation🖤 There’s also the atmospheric bits (idk what instruments those are if they’re instruments at all lol)- not something you’d think to associate with Jocie. But if you know the full scope of her character like I do, you’d understand that this haunting notes fit her rather well actually. Also, the saxophone (is that what that is?? Idk instruments lmao😂 @le-rryder help meeeee) perfectly conveys her classy and romantic side, and contributes to the slight air of mystery💖 Plus- the pacing!!! Well- just listen to the song yourself and follow along with the lyrics, and you’ll see what I mean!!!
The lyrics
BUCKLE UP THIS IS GONNA BE A DOOZY
“I kissed every stranger”
IMMEDIATELY references her serial flirting habits before Orpheus. Most of the flings she had were with total strangers; only a few remained friends after (Adair was one of those friends, @amethystandemma ;3)
“I kept changing his mind, he kept changing my mind”
I’m taking ‘he’ as an ambiguous term here for the person she’s currently with. Reflects her indecisive and fickle nature. With every person she gets together with, she does consider something more; but ultimately changes her mind and moves onto the next person. For her, if her feelings aren’t overwhelming and all-consuming, it’s not the ‘True Love’ she’s searching for.
“He feels handcrafted just for you. But he’s a little bit too far away and….you can’t, you can’t”
I take this line as referencing Ominis, who she was originally infatuated with. She had believed him to be her true love, but after one too many rejections, she finally accepts that maybe he isn’t the one she’s looking for😞
“And you know you’ll be gone by the morning”
After she gives up pursuing Ominis, she tries to go back to her old dating habits, but it never does feel quite the same after actual love escaped her grasp. She doesn’t even try to establish connections with these partners now, simply having the fun with them and then moving on.
“Prolonged eye contact in casual conversation”
This is when she starts to first notice Orpheus. Immediately, she feels a sort of pull to him; something about the intensity of his gaze despite his stoic exterior immediately draws her attention and reels her in. She sets her sights onto him, and grows increasingly fascinated by him the more they get to know each other.
“You’re too real for me. You should go to someone better, I’ll give you to someone better”
Even though she’s hopeful that he could be the one, those lingering doubts are still in her mind. She drove Ominis away because she overwhelmed him and came off too strong. And before this; she’s always been deeply insecure. Now that she’s felt the sting of rejection, she’s afraid to feel it again. So, she still tries to keep somewhat of an emotional distance even as she keeps pursuing Orpheus. She believes that while they could have a fun ‘physical’ relationship, he’d deserve someone better than her in the long-term.
“I have friends that won’t feel like monsters”
Her main source of insecurity are in fact, her intense tendencies. She heated how jealous she gets; how obsessive and possessive and controlling she gets. She really does try to keep it under control, but it’s hard. And she’s not always successful. As a result, she can’t help but feel like a monster whenever this behavior ends up hurting someone she does genuinely care about.💔
“Being unwanted…and wanting too much”
Her life’s story in a nutshell. Her parents were never able to provide quite what she needed growing up. They loved her…but she always did feel somewhat neglected; the forgotten child in her siblings’ shadows, if you will. Because of this perceived rejection, she chases attention from anywhere and everywhere else she can, which is why she loves and feels so intensely.
She doesn’t want to be alone.
“Feeding the idea of you…leaving you starving”
This applies both to Ominis and Orpheus I’d say. She idealizes both due to her extreme idealism, blinding her to their flaws and the realities of the situation ships. That’s why it takes so long for her to realize that Ominis really isn’t interested….and that Orpheus actually is. She spends so much time pursuing them, she never stops to reflect on what it is she actually has with them.
“Not god. Not us- but something in the middle. But you know I was still down on my knees, like it was a religion.”
Now this really hammers home just how intense her idealism and infatuation is. it’s not just a little crush for her, oh no. This is big. This is serious. This is like her religion. Her one belief that she’s hold onto her whole life, is the idea of soulmates. So she spends her whole life chasing that idea down to heal the wounds of her inner child.
“Closer, closer, and closer and closer- foggy windows”
A bit symbolic for how she keeps trying to push herself closer to him, but still can’t see the clear reality of it due to the sheer intensity of her feelings.
“I knew it was you the whole time: I knew it was you, while I was with him”
Even before she officially started pursuing Orpheus, she did notice him a few times while still going after Ominis. Even that early on, he’d caught her attention; it just wasn’t until she’d finally let Ominis go that she realized where her heart truly lied.
“I knew it was you when you sang me that song you wrote about her”
I’m imagining the ‘song’ to be his love letters to her🥹 I’d like to think she suspected it was him even before she actually figured it out
“The night before, half out of my mind”
The beginnings of her drowning in obsession. She herself recognizes it; she’s much more aware of this side of her now after her experience with Ominis. She’s trying harder than before to contain it; but her obsessions torment her whenever she’s alone. It’s like a disease. A wonderful, awful, beautiful disease.
“And you know you love him, and you might be in love with him.” (Repeat)
She knows she loves him. He’s hot I mean-😂 but the more and more time she spends with him….the more she begins to wonder if she actually loves him.
“And you know you love him, and you’re falling in love with him”. (Repeat)
There’s no denying it now; she’s falling in love with this boy. And she really doesn’t know what to do with that, hence the constant repeats and escalating music of the song. On one hand; she’s thrilled. She finally found him, her Soulmate. On the other….she’s terrified. She saw the kind’ve person she could become when she was in love with Ominis; and now that she was even more in love with Orpheus, she doesn’t want to find out the kind’ve person she can be if she lets herself get too involved with him. She loves him. Loves him so much it’s painful. It’s driving her mad. It’s perfect. It’s horrible. It’s everything.
“I think I was searching for the taste of you….in every one.”
This would apply to AU where she decides not to be with him. She decides not to risk hurting him or anyone else by giving into her obsession…and forces herself to break off. But he forever haunts her mind. She never forgets him.
He truly was her Soulmate.