#jodiah

[mechowow]

this will be my final entry i'm tired, i'm done, i'm empty my spirit's all but left me, the end of the universe doesn't impress me.

[mechowow]

'Scared'

Google Docs Link A four-and-a-half sweep old Jodiah faces a truly terrifying enemy.

Daisee’s ship was so big, and you were, well, small. You knew the halls of her ship well, having spent much of your time here playing hide-n-seek. Sometimes you were lucky and she would join you and Lola, but most of the time it was just Mavrik who joined. When he was around, that is. 

Yet, despite the comfort you felt in the metal walls, you couldn’t help but be afraid of her recruits. They were all rowdy highbloods, only a handful of sweeps older than you. All sent here because they had anger issues or were deemed dangers to society. Here to be reformed, your dad had said with a particularly sad tone. Here to put their anger to good use. When you were a little younger, Lola had been able to convince some of them to play tag or help find you. Back then, you never noticed the hostility, but you could tell now. They looked at you differently. These days they all said you were too old to play games. But you always had Lola. And Lola wouldn’t let anyone hurt you. Neither would Daisee, nor Mavrik, and arguably even Kittle, not that you knew. You had no idea just how safe you were. A rabbit safe in the wolves’ den, only partially aware of how their maws dripped at the sight of you. 

One wolf scared you more than the others. Even Lola was fearful of this recruit. Lola wasn’t afraid of anything- for him to distrust someone spoke volumes to you. Without your twin by your side, you stuck close to the adults, for fear of being caught alone with that one. That was the case for this visit. Your Dad was doing his ‘rounds’ and checking out Daisee’s planes, with said eldest sister helping. You weren’t allowed down in the hangar with them, so you promptly located the nearest adult and clung to his side. 

Mavrik, as good natured as always, didn’t mind in the slightest. You held onto the back of his violet flight suit as you followed him into the mess hall. It was loud and smelly, despite there only being a handful of trolls milling about. You scanned the empty tables and faces with a silent worry, only shifting gears when offered a juice box. Mav puts his hand on your back and guides you to one of the tables. 

“Stay here, okay? I’m just a few tables over.” He gestured to where a medic was sitting with a box of, as you’d discover in a few minutes, vaccines. “You don’t want to watch me poke people with needles, right?” He laughed as you frantically shook your head. “That’s what I thought. Nobody’s gonna bother you here. If you get hungry you can steal some chips.” 

Your brow furrows as he ruffles your hair. You give your head a shake to fix your rattled hair. By the time you opened your eyes again, he was gone. So much for sticking with an adult. 

As it turned out, you had a pretty good seat to watch trolls come in and leave. You had a variety of thoughts on each one, coming up with wild and vibrant stories for every face you saw. Trolls would come in, grumble at Mavrik, maybe grab food, get their Fleet Mandated Updated Vaccination, and then leave. You enjoyed the invisible feeling. Save for the occasional glance in your direction, nobody paid you any mind. Soon enough, your juice box was gone, and you had successfully snuck up behind Mavrik and his medical assistant to steal chips and a cookie. The chips didn’t last long. It was only when you started to munch on the dry cookie that you felt the burning sensation of eyes boring into you. 

You turn your head and meet his icy gaze. 

Suddenly, Mavrik felt very far away. Like, miles away. There was an entire ocean between you and your protector. There he stood, the one recruit who scared you more than the others, more than any scary movie you had seen, more than any spooky creature in whatever video game you watched on GrubTube. When your dad had taught you some basic sign language to help you communicate better, you had assigned different people with a sign. It was easier than spelling names out! Daisee was the letter D, Mavrik the letter M, Lola was the sign for twin. Aeremi, a grub at this point, was the sign for bee- but only half of it. You had no interest in knowing the scary recruit’s name. You simply used the sign for ‘scared.’ There was no better way to explain him. He was scary. 

And right now, you were fucking scared, pardon the language. ‘’Scared’s’’ glare was cold, digging into your very roots even from across the mess hall. He was angry and hungry and burning with something you lacked a name for. You felt even smaller than before and painfully aware of just how visible you were. You wanted nothing more than for the ground to open up and swallow you whole, like it had sweeps ago. You’d rather be starving in that ditch again. That ditch looked like a breeze compared to ‘’Scared.’’ That must’ve been obvious from your expression, as he decided to beeline straight for your table instead of reporting to Mavrik, as if fueled by your fear. 

‘’Scared’’ loomed over you, eyes boiling over with rage. You tried to shrink down in your seat, tried to peel your gaze away but found yourself unable to break eye contact. For a brief moment you recalled an episode of Troll Animal Planet, where the narrator explained that predatory beasts often find direct eye contact to be a threat or sign of aggression. Looking at your predator’s balled fists, squared jaw, and burning eyes…yeah, you were feeling very threatened. This was a threat. You were in danger. You swallowed hard, trying to ignore the ache in your chest from your racing pusher. After an eternity of silence, you finally hold out your unfinished cookie in a meek offering of friendship. You even try to smile. 

Crap, didn’t Troll Animal Planet also say showing teeth was a sign of aggression?!

You wince as he snatches the snack from you. At first you thought he was just very hungry. A glimmer of hope that you had simply misjudged him, that you had actually made a friend with the only troll on the ship close to you in age.He quickly crushed that hope. Just like he crushed the cookie in his fist, right before he threw the crumbs back in your face. Mean. You quickly discovered it was not the cookie that he hungered for. 

You were frozen in fear for a few seconds longer. When it seemed like ‘’Scared’’ might just turn that threat into a promise, you bolted, ducking under his arm and nearly tripping over yourself as you ran straight for Mavrik. You pushed yourself between him and the pilot he was about to vaccinate. He instinctively lifted the needle out of range, too stunned to speak. The pilot was confused. Mavrik was confused. His medical assistant was confused. You were terrified. There was not one good thing happening in this scene right now. You tugged at his shirt frantically, pointing towards ‘’Scared’’ while trying to stay hidden behind the violet’s frame at the same time. You had to let go of his waist to sign. Your hands trembled as you motioned.

“Scared?” Mav asked for clarity, confusion dripping from his voice at your frantic and sloppy signing. You nodded, then threw yourself into him with relief, hiding your face in his smelly flight suit. He put his free arm around you, glancing over his shoulder to what you were pointing at. You didn’t care if he knew that was that kid’s name. Hell, you were terrified. Mavrik would protect you. That’s all that mattered. 

“Almiss!” You hear Mavrik hiss in a scolding tone. You can feel him look over his shoulder, casting a glare. 

“Get outta here, Pipsqueak- go make yourself useful for once!” Mavrik’s assistant chimed in. You didn’t see the glare she received for it, nor the middle finger Mav was given for the crime of defending you. 

You didn’t pry yourself off your protector just yet. Luckily, he was able to do his job singlehanded. You kept your face buried in Mavrik’s side as he continued to work with one arm around you. He stroked your back in the best motion of comfort he could muster. After what you assumed was at least five trolls, you finally lift your head, peeking around the violet’s broad frame with caution. 

The troll you had dubbed Scared, because of how scared he made you, was gone. Almiss was his name, apparently. You toiled that name over in your mind, pondering it. That name didn’t convey just how scary he was. Two-toned eyes, barely your age and covered in scars. His gaze was so cold, so hateful. You didn’t even want to imagine what could’ve made him so…evil. 

Your thoughts are scattered as Mavrik ruffles your hair again, “He gone, JD?” You glance up as Mav looks over his shoulder. His chuckle is amused, and almost relieved, “First time he’s ever listened.” 

“Who’s to say he listened?” His assistant retorted, “He probably ran off to piss in your fucking fuel tank again.” 

“Language. Daisee will handle it if he does.” 

You perk up at the mention of your eldest sister. You free Mavrik from your hug to sign once more. 

It takes him a second to read your hands. You furrow your brow in slight frustration, signing again, with a sloppy urgency this time. 

“...Leave? You want to leave?” 

You nod, shoulder drooping in relief. 

Mavrik chuckles once more, “Sure, kid. Let’s go find your dad and Daisee.”

[mechowow]

tryin out csp for realsies...a lil test with anon Dia :)c 

[mechowow]

funky little monkey, he’s a twisted trickster everybody wants to be that mister’s mister.

[mechowow]

i’ll dream each night of some version of you, that i might not have, but i did not lose.

[mechowow]

is there something in the water? i like to think it might be god. if the rose was given wilted, was there any care at all? if i could, i would kill you by the end of the night, so you'd come back and haunt me the rest of my life.

i like this enough that it gets its own post

[mechowow]

everyones asleep i can post this wip 

[mechowow]

Many sweeps ago for Dia

Google Docs Link

The greying fuchsia untucks his shirt from his belt and pulls out a firearm, which in his hands looked quite small. But once handed to the much smaller limeblood, was revealed to be quite large. The panicked expression on his face said everything. He held it at arm's length, terrified. 

“JD, like we practiced.” His father’s gentle reminder seemed to ease some of that anxiety. Shaky hands turned the large pistol down the range. His hands barely fit on the grip. He struggled for a moment before finding the magazine release. Beloved’s hand on his shoulder stopped him. 

“Breathe. You’re overthinking it.” Beloved’s warm smile did successfully ease some of Jodiah’s nerves. Freshly teenaged and finally beginning to be out on his own, Jodiah’s lusus insisted he learn how to defend himself. Beloved never shielded Dia from how dangerous the world could be. Because of this, Dia agreed. The two had practiced at hive the proper ways of handling different weapons. Dia knew exactly what was going to happen, but the size of his father’s personal weapon startled him nonetheless. He looked back at Beloved with eyes the size of the moons. 

“It is bigger.” Beloved knew exactly what his concerns were, no words needed, “Remember when we talked about how they worked? It’s heavy because…” 

“...Because…it, uh…it takes the recoil.” 

“Mhm.” Beloved nodded. 

“...which makes it…easier. To hold.” Jodiah’s shoulders relaxed slightly, eyes turning back to the hard metal machine in his hands. 

“Exactly. Clever boy. What do you do now?” 

Silently, Jodiah tilted the firearm to the side. His hands weren’t shaky this time as he dropped the magazine. It fell unceremoniously on the table in front of him. His left hand held the slide while the right hand pushed down, sending the chambered bullet flying. 

“...You gave it to me loaded?” Dia looked back to his lusus, not startled as much as he was annoyed. 

“What good is a self defense weapon if it isn’t ready to defend?” Beloved chuckled. “You did the right thing. Now, reload.” 

Dia huffed, but his annoyance was better than anxiety. The magazine was slammed back into the grip, the slide racked and ready. The limeblood aimed down range before freezing again. 

Beloved waited a few seconds before leaning down, close to Jodiah’s ear, “Breathe. Close your eyes. Inhale,” Dia did just as he said, as he said it, “Exhale slowly… Find the wall. I’m right here.” Beloved set his hands on Dia’s shoulders, as if to prevent the recoil from blowing him backwards, “Pull the trigger.” 

The anxiety that threatened to bubble over was quelled by his father’s comforting presence. Jodiah exhaled slowly, eyes still shut. His father’s hands were warm and strong. He could do this. As his exhale finished, he pulled the trigger. 

The sound echoed off the walls, but the recoil wasn’t as bad as he anticipated. The limeblood opened his eyes and had to blink a few times to make sure he really did it. The paper target ten yards out had a sizable hole a good few inches to the left of center. Dia’s smile slowly grew as he turned to Beloved in excitement. 

“I did it!” 

“Ah- don’t go waving that around!” Beloved was quick to take the firearm from Dia’s hands, but his smile was still present, “You did! You did it! It wasn’t so bad, hm?” 

Jodiah’s grin only grew. He threw his arms around his dad and hugged close into his side. Beloved put his free arm around him.