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Random Irritations

N-Dubz's Reunion Tour

Being used to Team Rocket putting some effort into costumes, it's hard for me to accept...

The backstage-at-Jerry Springer look.

A.K.A.: Kyle, Kenny, Stan and Cartman.

Note 1: Discovered at the trailer park, Jessie left caravans and crystal meth behind to begin a glamorous career, modelling for Matalan.

Eh lads?

Note 2: Meowth's Oxfam rapper style led to ripping off his own charm for a medallion, thereby perfecting 80s chav chic.

Vanilla Slice.

Note 3: Once a swooning, Romantic poet, now a creepy, adenoidal skiffy, NASA's tent gives James a spare tyre.

Good.

Note 4: Shirt-stretching wide-loads like Wobba should avoid slogans.

Red, white and black? Must have sworn allegiance to the Middle East.

And why is that man so pleased to see that little girl?

Sorsha, Willow, Queen Bavmorda and, after another magical mishap, Fin Raziel, finally put aside their differences to focus on what really matters:

Synthetic fibre, which is nice.

And what about Ol' Frankenstein Forehead in the corner?

Fecking freak.

Young Rose West swears vengeance on Gonad for nicking her eyelashes.

We all recall Tulisa's unfortunate choice of collagen. As such, she made the wise decision to do without lips all together.

Hey, who needs make up when yer look this good without?

Cleetus and Brandine take Disneyland.

Fazer and Tulisa's romance hit the skids since he's got too many features and she's not got enough.

Nothing but playas these lads.

Sheldon and Leonard regularly visit the Women's Detention Centre to pick up the poontang.

Who can blame 'em? A right pair of fanny magnets we got here.

What feminoid can resist the lure of a hairy-palmed, hip-op (hip-po?) midget and a four-eyed, porn-addicted incel?

Tulisa, Dappy and Fazer ponder the wisdom of a comeback single featuring Adele.

Wobba the Hut's job as washer-woman led to disaster, for, having No Bloody Eyes, the cack-handed lump shrank every item of clothing belonging to yoomunz.

Thus we suffer Jessie's unfeminine, raw-pork-sausage body and James in godforsaken three-quarter trousers.

Boy, if they didn't look good on greebos from the 00s, they ain't gonna look good on you.

Stick a red sock in with the whites again, eh Wobbly? All yer need is a cap and the ill look's complete.

It's like one of them kids dolphins have to swim with, 'cause they got leukaemia.

I can but dream.

Exclusive to OK! magazine: Brian Harvey reflects on the Potato Incident.

What's that hippo nose on Meowth's hat?

Holes? Holes?!

Holes at the front? Ears at the back!

And who's making woolly hats for cats?

And who put ear holes too close together?

And why isn't the jumper in his size?

It's a failed business model there!

And I'm saying it, 'cause none of you will:

Hippo Head Meowth's turned into Joe C.

Yer dad DIED in that jumper, Meowth! Have yer no respect for his legacy?

Yer want me to tell yer mam whatcha done?

Stretching the sleeves out of all reasonable proportion?

Cutting holes in his hat?

And cutting 'em in the wrong bloody place?

Desecrating the one thing he left her?

She'd turn in her grave, she would!

No Sir, please don't tell Mama.

#Team Rocket #Jessie #James #Meowth #Wobbuffet #Joe C.

Meditation - 12/05/17

Meditation – 12/05/17

When life sucks, being sober means that we have at least broken even on the day.

~ Joe C.

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#Joe C.#sobriety

I haven't been bitched out that much since I told a black guy I didn't like Barack Hussein Obama.

Joe C.

#Joe C.