#johnlemar

[littledozerdraws]

[radioactive-yuri]

that scene where john's talking to lemar's family, and lemar's mom holds him like he's her son too. that breaks me so much.

she says that lemar talked about him often. that lemar was proud of him when he became captain america. that she was too. how far back did the two of them go? they served in the military together, did they go to school together? were they on the football team together, in detention together, even further back, did they grow up together? if john's home was devoid of love, did he use doing his homework with lemar as an excuse to go to his house instead of going home? did his mom make sure john was fed, shake her head with fond disapproval as she watched john and lemar take turns on lemar's new ps1, did she let him sleep over if he claimed it was too dark for him to go back home, even if it was a bright summer afternoon? was lemar the best man at john and olivia's wedding? was his mom invited too? when she looks at him, does she see captain america, does she see a murderer, or does she just see her son's best friend, the playful blond he brought home from school and bragged about for the rest of his life, the boy she personally watched grow up?

in that scene, when john says "i'm sorry", you can tell he doesn't mean "i'm sorry for your loss", but rather "i'm sorry i failed you both"

[tjadakaa]

[radioactive-yuri]

battlewalker has some fascinating, contradicting parallels with stucky btw. the man chosen to be captain america by the government, and his best friend in the world, which positions john as steve and lemar as bucky. but, at the same time, there's the parallel of lemar being essentially the sun in john's life, which positions him as steve and john as bucky. the same goes for each character's personality as well; john and steve are both stubborn and patriotic, bucky and lemar are both witty and teasing. but at the same time, john and bucky are both bitter and guilty, and steve and lemar are both optimistic and encouraging. lemar's death and john's breakdown could either parallel what bucky's (apparent) death did to steve, or what steve's actual death did to bucky. i just. find them so compelling. welcome back stucky, but they came back wrong.

[radioactive-yuri]

descending.

[radioactive-yuri]

how do (battle)stars die?

sometimes i do wonder what john saw in his rooms...

[tjadakaa]

I've decided John's sign is cancer. Lemar's is Libra. Now... to do something other than daydream

[tjadakaa]

This show needs all the fix it. I'm kind of upset at how much.