[17:35] you were feeling under the weather today due to the monthly visits from a familiar friend. fiancé!johnny was no stranger to this and funnily got used to the repeated cycles in the three years of your relationship.
so he forcibly, yet sweetly dragged you out for a late afternoon walk for groceries since he saw your refridgerator was close to being empty.
grocery shopping with johnny has its perks and downsides especially when you both decide to have a date night in. this time around it was designated in your studio loft apartment, the reason being that his roommates were being too loud and he just wanted to leave the chaos for a while. “your home is a safe haven.” he’d say.
he reminded you that spicy, oily, sugary foods, and of the sort were a no-go—as if you didn’t know that already. but weather was cold and spicy food with some kind of protein was all you wanted for dinner tonight.
you both entered the supermarket and walked along the jar section to buy the ingredients paired for tonight’s raffled choice of disney movie: zootopia. johnny teased that it was the right timing for you both to go vegetarian for dinner to match the theme.
“ugh but i’m in the mood for spicy chicken.” you pouted, and it came to a halt when johnny gave his toothy smirk and raised his eyebrow at you. slightly hitting his arm, you knew of the implication, “not that kind of spicy! gosh.”
he just laughed softly and gave you a forehead kiss, saying he was kidding. “okay fine i’ll make an exception.” he pulled you closer to him as he pushed the grocery cart, “no spicy consumption, but we’re gonna go pescatarian. i was thinking greek hummus with corn chips, salmon salad, tofu stew, and some dark chocolate almond bark for dessert, deal?”
how glad were you to have him plan the menu for movie night. he may not look like it, but johnny’s great in the kitchen. and he always made sure that you were well taken care of during this time of the month. sometimes you’d joke that it was his act of service to not get on your bad side.
you tiptoed and returned the kiss to his left cheek, though closer to his jaw, “deal.”
johnny unexpectedly blushed. he stared at you and your lips for a bit as he ran his left hand on the very spot where you kissed him. he coughed to cover it up but it very obvious to you that he got so shy.
Prompt: You and Johnny attend the same university. You’ve known each other for quite some time and are borderline best friends. He’s had feelings for you for a long time but hasn’t quite been able to deal with them properly.
Member: Johnny x Reader (with a side of DoYu^^)
Genre: Angst
Word Count: 1.7k
Warnings: mild language
A/N this wasn’t requested & was something I already had written so I just tinkered with it a bit so voila! please enjoy! -Admin Madi
Standing on your toes to reach the top of the book shelf, you pulled at the spine of a particularly thick book, using all possible strength to unbind it from its hold amongst the other heavy texts.
“I thought you said you already have all your material for your classes,” Johnny stood behind you, huffing and groaning as he held a stack of books that you needed for your essay. “Who the hell is making you write something this early on in the semester anyway? They’re just looking to be labeled as the bitchiest professor.”
You sighed, bringing the book down and setting it on top of the rest. “It’s been like two months since classes started, Johnny. What do you expect her to assign?”
“My professor just gives us chapters to read and that’s it. You should try bribing her or something.”
“And risk being kicked out? Tell Yuta to try that.” You drug your fingers along the wood of the bookshelves, skimming over title after title before reaching the end and turning to face him.
“Don’t you have plans? I thought you’d be busy on a Friday night,” poking his shoulder lightly, a knowing smile grew on your face as he shook his head.
“I’ve got nowhere else to be but with you,” he avoided your gaze, toying with the books in his hands and chewing at his lip.
As you were about to fake gag and tell him how cheesy he was being, Doyoung came flying around the corner, nearly knocking into the both of you before stopping abruptly. His arms weren’t full of books, but rather thick sheets of colorful paper with a packet of markers sliding around on top.
“Doyoung, where’s-”
“I found the book!” Yuta came from behind, waving a book in his hands and excitedly taking a place next to Doyoung who visibly flushed at his demeanor.
He muttered a shy “thanks” before prodding along, moving to a table at the back of the library happily.
Yuta stuck around for a bit before following, talking in a low voice as he covered his mouth with his hand, shielding it from Doyoung. “I’m helping him with a project. I called it a study date and he’s been quiet ever since,” giggling a bit to himself after seeing your expression, he skipped away contently.
You shook your head, happy for his apparent adoration for the brown haired boy sitting across from him. A feeling of want spread through your chest, but quickly dissipated as Johnny clicked his tongue in playful annoyance.
“Are they still not official? It’s so painfully obvious that they like each other. They practically eye each other up every time they’re in a room together. Like, it makes me feel like I’m interrupting something, you know? Like, do I just leave or do I crack some dumb joke to break the trance they’re in?”
“You overthink this a lot for someone who apparently doesn’t care about Doyoung’s love life.” Crossing your arms and raising your eyebrows at him to emphasize wanting answers, he stifled, just a bit.
“Is Mr.Johnny Seo jealous? Does he want someone to looooove?” You clasped your hands together and made kissy faces in his direction, a coy voice teasing him to no end.
“Y/N, please. I don’t need a relationship to be happy!” His statement came out as something eerily cheery, as if being single didn’t faze him in the least. Something you’ve heard all too many times.
Groaning and placing both hands on either sides of his waist, you shook your head slowly, peering into his eyes with utmost sincerity. “We’ve been around each other far too much lately. You’re beginning to sound like me.”
Tiptoeing to pat his head lovingly, you let your hands fall to his shoulders, leg wedging between his own and urging him to face the opposite direction. With a quick push of the lower back, he was moving with ease, laptop bag bouncing on his hip with each step.
You stopped him as you came to a table next to Doyoung and Yuta, clinging to the fabric of his shirt and contemplating whether to move or not. Tugging a bit harder, this time on his sleeve, he leant down to be at eye level with you.
“Do you think they want to be left alone?”
He shrugged and looked as they seemingly laughed at something Doyoung had said. “They look kinda distracted to me. I doubt they’ll notice, or even care for that matter. When you’re in love, it kinda works like that. You don’t see anyone else in the room except for the other person.”
Feeling both moved yet oddly satisfied with his answer, you sat.
“So you’ve been in love before, I presume?”
He dropped the stack of books onto the table, complacently exhaling as he rubbed at his forearms, imprintations marking his flesh where the sharp corners of the covers prodded his skin. He looked troubled though, as he pulled the chair contradictory to your own out and anxiously sat. He fiddled with his hands, laying each book out nicely for your choosing, cogs in his head turning as the question stumped him.
“I guess?”
“Well how else would you know….all that?” Motioning to earlier with your hands, he gave you a tilt of the head.
“That?”
“You know! That!” Growing frustrated at the lack of words forming in your head, you sighed and laid your hand on his. “That whole spiel you just gave about love and mushy stuff.”
He snapped his fingers, pointing with a reassuring “ah” and leaning back into his seat. “That one.”
He shrugged yet again, his aura of nonchalance annoying you as it always did after too long.
“Johnny, I’m serious. Don’t just flake me off.”
His lips pursed into the way they always did when he’s thinking, nails scraping against the peeling wood and looking back into your eyes after what felt like a century.
“It’s complicated.”
Intrigued by the openness his answer presented, you pushed lightly. “How so?”
His hand slipped from underneath your own, escaping into the confines of his pockets as he smiled at you knowingly.
“Y/N, you’re meddling, and if I recall correctly, you’re the one constantly telling me not to do that.”
Crossing both legs and arms, you sat up straighter. “This is different. We aren’t talking about present issues, just past ones.”
His eyes instantly narrowed, leaning forward to rest his arms against the table. A challenging look washed over him. “Says who?”
At this, you backed down. Confusion, and what could only be a bit of hurt left your heart plummeting. “You’re in love right now?”
He nodded with a different sort of smile gracing his face; one you’ve never seen before. Or maybe you have and just never noticed.
“I think so.”
“With who?” Decoding to stand your ground this time, you moved closer to him in an attempt to show how serious you were. “You’ve never mentioned that you’re seeing someone.”
“I know, and I’m not.”
Your heart dropped all over again, worried as you took in the state of the broken boy infront of you.
“You’re in love with someone you’re not with? Do...do they know?”
Johnny forced a smile, a painfully awkward one that left all kinds of questions running through your head.
“No, they don’t, and I don’t think they ever will.”
At this point you felt as hopeless as he looked, reaching out to intertwine your fingers and looking for any positivity in the situation. “Johnny, you have to tell them.’
“They’re interested in someone else.”
“Johnny, no. I’m not accepting that bullshit. If you live your life never telling them how you feel, you’ll hate yourself.”
“Do you not think I already know that?” His body shook as his voice rose, attracting the gaze of many as he went well over the volume level allowed inside of a library. “Do you not think it haunts me everyday? They like someone else and never even spare me a glance. I hate myself so fucking much because I know I’ll never be enough. I’ll never have my feelings reciprocated and I’ll just have to sit and watch because I’m not going to risk losing a friendship.” His eyes glistened as his resolve faded, voice shaking slightly as it returned to a much quieter tone. “Being around them is enough for me.”
“Johnny…” You moved to swipe at the water pooling, spilling over his eyes as he feverishly blinked, only stopping as his hand caught your wrist gently. His head hung low, tears falling onto the fronts of the books he had carried for you this past hour, contorting the images beneath as smiles turned to frowns and all happiness was drowned out of the colorful pictures.
His voice was fragile, wavering as he shook his head weakly, sobs threatening to wrack his body. “Please, don’t.”
He let your wrist go free, hands moving to cover his face as he cried, shaking his head repeatedly, taking in gasps of air when oxygen levels ran threatening low.
“Don’t hurt me anymore, Y/N. I can’t handle it.”
The realization hit and caused you to still, taking in the look of his figure, slouched and crying into his hands, sobs laced with the emotion he had bottled up for months. The words of his self deprecation played over and over until your head began to pound. Doyoung and Yuta watched in shock at the boy pouring his heart out in front of you, not knowing how to handle this situation.
You felt your eyes begin to blur, the world merging together to form only murky bits of color and shape, standing slowly as you pulled the hem of your sweater into both fists.
“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”
He began to look up, eyes red and trails of tears staining his handsome face. Before you could reach out, reassure him that you did love him, just not in the way he wanted, you were swept away and into the embrace of someone unknown, moving through the exit as the tears began to pour just as the heavens opened up and cried; cried for the broken heart of Johnny Seo, and for the future he was never going to have with the person he loved.
[17:09] the skatepark was like johnny’s second home. for the most part, seeing him skate made your heart jump. in both good ways and not, the feeling you had in your stomach verified that your best friend was indeed a chick magnet. he was that well known at the area.
and because you were his best friend, you had to tag along to his trips to the skate park every time you were on days off. so here you were sitting hesitantly by the bleachers. as much as you hated to admit it, a little jealousy creeps up on you when you see others eyeing johnny with hunger.
“should i ask for his number? he’s hot.” one asked her friend, sporting a denim high shorts paired with long socks and an old school vans.
her friend squealed and nudged her, “like yes?? you guys are matching in denims, too.”
you tsked to yourself and rolled your eyes, chewing on your gum and put your airpods max back on, continuing to sketch the scenery in front of you. honestly? you could care less.. if you didn’t habour any feelings for him at all.
but no, you had a massive crush on johnny and it pains you to know that the girl you scoffed at may have just caught his attention, he kept looking her way. of course you were just assuming at this point because who wouldn’t love your very attractive best friend anyway?
johnny on the other hand knew this all too well. he smiled to himself when he saw your supposedly ignorant front until he saw your transparent jealousy. he felt flattered yet he as well couldn’t hold his frown back when other guys approached you for a small talk.
“dude, you’re frowning again.” jaehyun smirked at his friend, knowing his hidden crush on you since way back. “you know you could skip today’s practice if it’s bugging you so much.”
“it’s not bugging me..” johnny coughed, preparing for his skateboard run down the ramp.
“righttt.” jaehyun pushed the guy playfully but johnny didn’t miss jae’s expression as he pointed at you. “dude!”
shocks and squeals heard at the park when people’s attentions shifted to you, and johnny never whipped his head as fast as he did. seeing your hands covering half of your face.
it didn’t take long for him to figure that a skateboard flew straight at you and made your nose bleed. apparently there was a fight close by before you got hurt.
“y/n!” he called out, skating immediately next to you, who was sniffling in pain. “don’t put your head up. just tilt it down a little.” he said, holding up your head while he checked for other injuries you might’ve had.
his heart sank when he spotted upcoming bruises on the side of your face, neck, shoulder, and arms.
you didn’t want to make a scene but you were really hurt so you hugged johnny and told him you wanted to leave. “johnny, i wanna go home.”
johnny patted your back and caressed it, “alright, alright. let’s go to the hospital first to have you checked.” he turned around to glare at the two people guilty of this. “you guys did this to my girl?”
the two guys nodded and accepted to pay for your hospital bills.
he aided you by your side and you winced at the pain, “it’s okay, you’ll be okay.”
your heart beated quick, not because of the stressful atmosphere but of johnny’s remark. so you smirked at him, “my girl, huh?”
johnny just coughed as he got busted. “well you were firing up with jealousy when the girls were thirsting on me.”
you flinched, you got busted too. “you were watching me?” you chuckled.
coffee line: after floods of photos sent to you after that new years eve party, your once quiet life is soon to have a kickstart with the famous jock johnny suh. will there be a spark in your love life?
[20:21] “i could kiss you right now.” you shivered at those six words said by johnny, who’s seated across from you.
the boy didn’t even seem like he was letting out a bluff, his eyes boring into yours like he really meant it. the people next to him encouraged the scenario, their voices and reactions rising, making you want to leave immediately.
“oh he’s flirting.” mark said in between awkward laughs, feeling either jittery or icky at his hyung’s challenge.
you glared at johnny before pressing your lips into a line. you weren’t even meant to be here in the first place, until your best friend dragged you along to a young people’s gathering from a club you totally forgot you signed up for during the first semester. this gathering was at the club president taeyong’s house.
“the bottle will decide where these lips will land.” you challenged back, earning yourself a similar reaction to that from a minute ago. turning the bottle, your heartbeat drummed along the subtle sound made by the glassware.
instead of feeling and hoping a relief would wash over you, the head of the bottle landed on the person who made that so called ‘bluff’.
and you wanted to slam your face towards a wall.
“and the bottle chose me.” johnny stood up while the rest cheered. he dramatically put his hand out to help you stand, only pouting to know that you straight up rejected his offer and walked towards the walk-in closet.
“seven minutes starts now!” jaemin blew the whistle while your best friend and taeyong slammed the door shut behind you.
it was a tight air surrounding you both. your ears ringing of your own heartbeat. note: it hasn’t change from moments ago.
the sound of johnny’s light smirk was audible enough to know his motives in this little game he was so familiar growing up watching his cousins played it. but little did everyone know he was a nervous wreck, because it was actually his first time.
seeing you standing before him made him feel like he was in cloud nine. if he wasn’t raised to be a gentleman he’d be crushing his lips onto yours.
but johnny knew better than that. he knew how to respect women and he especially knew how to respect you.
when he found out you and him shared mutual feelings over a drunkened confession over the phone last year, he knew he wouldn’t let you go.
and you knew that. you really did. just that your timid self couldn’t decide what to do. right now, the boy you’ve been crushing on was in front of you, take this chance-
you felt a gentle touch on both of your hands before your lower body was enveloped in a hug so tight, yet so warm. johnny’s actions were different than his words.
you mentally cursed at yourself for falling for this boy even more. he smiled at you stupidly, and caressed your hair. “i know we’ve agreed on our mutual feelings, and it’s okay if you don’t want to kiss. we can just chat-”
t/w: none, but please do tell me if you think there is, i haven’t proofread ㅠ_ㅠ
a/n: hallu i’m back! decided to go for an angst after my break! hope you guys are ok after reading this ehe 😉 📖☕️
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johnny never stood up so quickly and his actions caught the attention of workers seats away. he didn’t care that the screech from his chair and the thumping sound on his desk made by his free hand startle his assitant- who was fixing his schedule by the glass door. he didn’t bother seeing the reaction, because all he cared about right now was the words he heard from the other line.
“we’re losing her, john.”
his face was transparent enough for everyone to read along the lines that he was neither alright nor stable. lips were as pale as if he saw a ghost and his eyes were sore, turning red as we speak. tears were itching to drop but johnny had to maintain his professionalism as the ceo of the suh financial group.
“are you sure?” he asked, his hand covering the lower half of his face. “please, there must be a way.”
giselle looked at her boss with worry. she had never seen him so exasperated before. sure, she was a newly hired assistant about few months ago, but since the previous one was on her maternal leave, she never expected to deal with a stressed out boss so soon in her career.
she was about to speak out before johnny lifted a finger to notify her that he needed a cup of coffee in attempt to cool down- if that ever worked literally.
“sir, i don’t know if i should say this but i think you should take the day off.” her hands hugged the clipboard, later closing her eyes because she regretted on saying something when clearly johnny didn’t want anything else to bother him.
johnny let out a breathy sigh. “maybe i should..” closing the folder he was reading. “sorry, did i scare you?”
“n-no sir.” giselle shook her head rapidly and handed him a cup of coffee he requested minutes ago. “h-how is she?”
johnny smiled sadly, “not well. she needs more check ups and medications. it’s stressing me out more than i expected.” he took a sip and looked out the window, “i guess this is a daily struggle i get to deal with.”
giselle nodded when the door opened, doyoung coming in a little jog. “john, your ride’s downstairs.”
“you’re dismissed, giselle.” he walked as he wore his jacket. “also, tell my clients i’ll be giving them a response in two days. got an important errand to be attending to.”
“yes sir, i’ll keep them in tabs.”
the driver had already prepared the door for johnny to enter and rush to the hospital. shaking his leg continuously, he couldn’t help but think his beloved was in such a state. he stared along the river where the bridge flew over, the weather was in contrast to what he was feeling.
it never went away, he prayed that it will.
he rushed to the emergency room where he saw his parents, later aware of his presence as they stood up. “john, she’s inside. she’s doesn’t want to see anyone but you.”
johnny could only nod after hugging his parents. he sat along the bed and held the patient’s hand. “daddy’s here, jiyeon-ah. i’m here.”
“it hurts, dad.” his little girl said in between hiccups. “i want it to go away.”
he kissed her little hands, holding in tears that so desperately wanted to fall. “i know baby, i know. just hold on a little longer.”
mr. and mrs. suh looked at their grandchild, arms embraced one another as she looked very sickly. the iv drip injected in her little body was already too much for her to handle. don’t even mention about her actual sickness, it had no mercy.
“i’m sorry, daddy.” she sadly smiled with her pale lips. “i’m not strong enough.”
johnny could feel the ache in his chest hurt much more. never had he expected to hear such words come out of a five year old. “no no, baby, don’t say that.” carressing her hair behind her ears. it was a gesture he found that his daughter really liked. “you’re my jiyeon and i’m your dad. we’re strong because we’re heroes, right?”
jiyeon giggled a little and continued to fiddle with johnny’s hands. “i’m still sorry daddy. i’m not strong enough. i got this from mommy.”
johnny tears finally fell but he was quick enough to look up so that his daughter wouldn’t catch a glimpse of her dad’s walls breaking down.
he remembered the memory as if it happened yesterday. jiyeon was two and a half when you were admitted in the hospital for a sickness found in the heart and she was barely even in school when you met with the skies forever.
“do you think she’s okay up there?” jiyeon looked up as she asked, but she wasn’t shaky or nervous. johnny’s skin felt goosebumps running because jiyeon actually sounded firm, if not, more relaxed.
and that scared him in so many ways.
his grip on her hand tightened a little a bit and it didn’t take long enough for jiyeon to notice her dad’s discomfort. “y-yeah, i think she’s doing very, very well up there.”
“i guess that’s okay then.” jiyeon’s smile reminded him so much of you, her aura she took from you was something he held close in his heart. he didn’t want to lose his only child, a child that he waited for so long because you had a hard time conceiving. and he was the happiest when jiyeon finally came into his life.
guess the world is unfair to some people, to have a misfortune few times in their lives. he was one of many that the universe took a loved one away from him. you were someone he held dear until he finally let go so that you could find peace and go to the place where you would no longer feel any pain.
it became a challenge that johnny didn’t know if he had the strength to fight further when a simple health check visit at the hospital revealed that jiyeon inherited the same heart defect you had. at the time.. it had only been three months.
it was like the disease reincarnated.
and he knew he should do anything in his might to beat this disease.
he wanted for jiyeon not to feel any more pain, so much that he’d spend thousands of dollars just to keep her treated and by his side. because the last time he didn’t try harder he blamed himself so badly to the point his parents couldn’t bring jiyeon to him for a month or so.
this time he had to do his best because jiyeon was someone you and him prayed for. to lose her only meant that he would lose a part of you. she was the only physical memory left he had of you.
“daddy?” her weak, little voice caught his attention and her hands patted his gently, “do you think mommy’s waiting for me?”
johnny’s mouth quivered, he wished he was dreaming. “mommy’s waiting but daddy’s waiting for you to become better.. just hang on okay? i’ll call a doctor.”
jiyeon hummed when johnny stood up quickly to call for a nurse, as if he knew where it would led to. a minute later a monotonal beep echoed the room. “we need a doctor! please!”
several doctors and nurse attended to jiyeon’s room and johnny wiped his face and hair frustratedly. “john-ah, what’s happening to our jiyeon?” his mother teared up while she tried her best to comfort her son- who was finally breaking down.
“her time’s too early..” his legs shook uncontrollably before he leaned forward to see his daughter unresponsive. “g- please don’t go, my sweet girl.”
mrs. suh let out a wail and mr. suh hugged her as she sat down, her heart speaking out all the sorrow she had kept on the inside because the day she feared arrived.
“start compressions.” dr. kim called out while one of the other doctors- dr. jang started placing her hands on jiyeon’s chest in attempt to give her air. “alright, hold compressions. clear.”
“clear.” her hands raised while jiyeon’s body lifted up in response to the shock.
“v-fib line negative.” a nurse read from the screen.
“start compressions again.” johnny heard the doctor repeat the same sentence. as it did, his heart dropped to the ground, shattered into pieces.
this.. this was not happening.
he wanted to scream into the void. he knew his girl was strong, but then one could only handle as such. he held onto that hope that jiyeon’s heart would beat once more to show the little fighter she was.
only the monotonal sound maintained its sequence, the number remained as zero, and the transition of shuffles to silence as the medical team stopped echoed the room.
“time of death.. 1pm.” dr. kim finally announced after five minutes of trying. “i’m sorry, mr.suh.” giving him a tight squeeze on his shoulder.
“no.” johnny approached his daughter: lifeless, white, and innocent. “jiyeon.”
he cried and he hiccupped, his parents losing their control as well. johnny never let go of jiyeon’s hand, squeezing it and waiting for a response when he clearly knew it was never coming back.
if johnny could put his life like it was viewed like a movie, he wished he had it on record. something fanatical- almost supernatural even, urged him to look up. his hands felt warm as if it were placed by someone else. he knew it wasn’t his parents, they were outside of the room for a breather. it was painful for him to look up, though this was something he felt rest assured with. a sense of peace maybe.
he wished he was dreaming, yet he also wished it were real. because in front of him you stood, a gentle smile on your face as you approach your daughter and placed your hand on her forehead. johnny sat up weakly, not believing what he saw. he felt your left hand touch his face, assuring him that everything will be alright.
“y/n..” johnny said softly, his cheek leaned onto your touch.
“hi john.” you spoke, and it echoed gently. “my brave boy.”
“i’m not brave, y/n.” he sniffed, “i couldn’t take care of our jiyeon.”
you sat closer to him, carressing his hair before giving him a kiss on the cheek. “you did what you could, and i know you gave your best.” you turned to look at jiyeon, then back to him. “just give her a minute.”
your figure began to fade and johnny wanted to let this stay a little longer, only for you to mouth the words “i love you” as your wings flew up and disappeared before his eyes. he cried silently, how could he ever move on?
a minute passed like you said, the monitor beeped and johnny flicked his head, his heart beating quickly as he called for the nurses once again.
“i don’t believe this.” dr. kim said, amazed at the sight in front of him. the faint beating of the monitor showed signs of life in the little jiyeon suh. “it’s a work of a miracle.”
jiyeon opened her eyes slowly and johnny moved in closer as his parents mirrored the same. “dad?”
johnny smiled and hugged her gently. “yes, jiyeon.. it’s daddy.”
she hummed while johnny pulled away, patting his hand like she did earlier. “daddy..”
“yes, baby?”
“i saw an angel.”
johnny smiled, pursed his lips as more tears fell down his face, and nodded.
coffee line: after floods of photos sent to you after that new years eve party, your once quiet life is soon to have a kickstart with the famous jock johnny suh. will there be a spark in your love life?
a/n: comment on ASM’s masterlist if you want to be part of the taglist!
coffee type: i won’t say cuz i might spoil it hahah
bean count: 1.1k+
a/n: here’s another coffee for you guys! it’s not proofread but enjoy reading! xx 📖☕️
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when johnny exited the door, his fists punched the air in happiness he couldn’t describe. the euphoria that washed over him sent his spirit into a bliss he wanted to scream and shout. his permission was gratefully accepted by your parents- especially from your dad- granting a blessing to his wish of having you in marriage.
the smile he had plastered on his face caught his friends’ attentions as he stepped into a party room they had booked earlier that week, mirroring his expression as they knew what this meant.
“that’s what we’d like to see!” jaehyun stretched his arms wide, giving his bro a hug. “her old man finally approved of you!”
“he didn’t like you when you started dating y/n.” mark hit his shoulder while johnny just giggled. “because you were going to take his little girl away.”
“well he grew out of it and realized there’s another guy that makes her happy.” johnny reached into his pockets, taking out a small red box and shaking it in his fists. “i’ve made the right decision, haven’t i, guys?”
the rest of the guys in his group smirked, they knew johnny was a wreck before meeting you. and after a few attempts of asking you out, he slowly changed for the better. he got his grades up, fixed his image for his rather well known family in the community, and graduated with honors. he was just led astray and not himself during freshman year, called that phase of his life a darkness he didn’t want to return to.
some people called the two of you many things: red and blue. yin and yang, fire and water. even if you two looked quite the opposite, that was just people scratching the surface; what they see in front of them. what they didn’t know was that you two were a lot alike that you expected.
you both complemented each other.
“so when are you going to propose to her?” taeyong asked him. johnny was the first in his group to ever get married, he wanted this since he was a young boy.
“probably in a few days.” he replied, opening the box, revealing a ring with your birthstone engraved on top.
johnny indeed called you in a few days, saying that he wanted have dinner in celebration of your third anniversary as an official couple. he mentioned about meeting you at the metro, not by the subway but just by the platform.
“so, tonight’s the big day?” yuta asked, giving him a shake on his shoulder. “i’m happy for you dude.”
“thanks, i’ve been planning this for months.” johnny fixed his collar and tie. “i bet you she’s gonna bawl her eyes out.”
“maybe because she’ll be stuck with you for the rest of her life?” he joked as johnny pulled a face at his friend. “kidding, i’m kidding. in all seriousness though, you guys will make good-looking babies.”
“oh my g- yuta.” johnny shook his head and a cackle heard from the guy.
johnny arrived at the venue, a dining restaurant located at a skyscraper. he knew it was your favorite sight to observe. in contrast to what his family and friends thought, he believed a public proposal was a little.. too much. he may be an extrovert, but when it came to your relationship, he wanted privacy and was very protective of you. so a private proposal was something he wanted and cherish- something both of you would witness.
he tapped his foot and bit his lower lip that his two front teeth were out. you should be here in five minutes. the jitters were starting to get to him, it was the real deal and it’ll happen straight after dinner and you’d both walk out together as each other’s fiancés later.
he scrolled through his messages and saw floods of good luck’s and advanced congratulations, he could only smile at the reassurance and support. walking small steps back and forth, he was excited and ecstatic.
minutes ticked longer and johnny started questioning. she’s probably stuck in traffic, he thought. a message notification from you appeared on his screen, saying you’ll arrive at the building in three minutes.
he smiled. this was it.
the restaurant manager gave him a thumbs up for good luck, and johnny bowed sheepishly before his phone rang. “hello?”
“is this mr. john suh?” an unknown voice heard from the other line.
“yes. this is him.” johnny stood, his eyebrows meeting together. “i’m her boyfriend, may i know who’s calling?”
“yes. uh, this is the paramedics just outside the grand vienna building. there has been an accident and the victim mentioned your name repeatedly. we had to look through her phone and...”
johnny stared into space, was he hearing right?
he rushed out of the restaurant and down the building. each step he took was a parallel to his heartbeat. a high pitched tone buzzed his ears, his eyes were starting to blur out, this wasn’t happening..
his honey orbs met the catastrophe in front of him: the firework show of the colors red and blue, a crashed vehicle to a lamp post; its lights flickering as if its peace was disturbed. paramedics running back and forth to search for any other victims.
and there was you three feet away. almost lifeless on the ground, unmoved, unresponsive, and unaware that this would happen in those three minutes you were supposed to meet him.
by this time johnny’s eyes were full of tears, but nothing came out of his mouth. according to the paramedic beside him, you had the worse clash towards the impact. you were barely breathing through the oxygen mask, and your face was bloodied with crimson he wished he didn’t live to see.
as the paramedic explained the situation, johnny didn’t want to hear any of it. his ears muffled out the voice that attempted to calm him down when he tried to break through the yellow strip from the police.
“sir, could you please stay back? this is a crime scene area. please refrain-“
“that- that’s my girlfriend over there.” he said out loud. “let me through..”
“i’m afraid you can’t, there’s-“
“my girlfriend is there! i need to-“
two guys bigger than him pulled him away, “sir, you’d have to go to the hospital by car or come with us in the ambulance.”
johnny’s eyes were red at this point. the ambulance closed its doors before wheeling away and his hair combed back by his fingers showed bystanders that he was losing it. he didn’t want to move due to the sudden shock received in these few minutes.
