fighting for gamer!jisung’s attention. minors do not interact.
wc: 1.7k
pairing: jisung x fem!reader ft. mark and jeno
a/n: this was again, in the drafts but I sorta rewrote it… though I don’t really like it too much… but I hope you guys enjoy it maybe! this is just in the meantime while I work on the pt.2 of my haechan fic!! meow :3
Jisung had been gaming with Mark and Jeno for a couple of hours now and you were beginning to feel impatient. You hadn’t seen him in days and now you’re here on his bed, listening to the constant clicking of the controller in his hands and the occasional banter into his headset microphone.
You can't help but roll your eyes hearing the laughter leaving Jisung's lips, wishing it was you who had his attention. Sighing, you push yourself up from his bed, walk over to where he’s sitting and softly tap his shoulder. He quickly glances at you and with a soft smile, opens up his arms, allowing you to comfortably straddle him on his chair.
As you get yourself comfortable on top of him, he innocently places his head on your shoulder to continue playing his game. Taking a deep breath, the dull scent of Jisung’s cologne along with the heat radiating from his body has you feeling slightly dizzy.
While cuddling him, a thought crosses your mind. Something you know you probably shouldn’t do but it might make Jisung give you the attention you so desperately crave. So, before you can truly think it through, you’re already starting to place soft kisses to his neck.
You feel him tense up for a moment before a soft sigh leaves his lips. Being so close, you can hear “defeat” coming from his headset along with Jeno and Mark instantly beginning to complain. With the game over, you take the opportunity to become a bit bolder, slightly grinding down on him. Jisung drops his controller on his desk and instantly sucks in a sharp breath that does not go unheard by his friends.
“You good, Ji?” Mark questions. You see the blush rising on Jisung’s face even with the harsh blue light of his monitor and it pulls a soft giggle from you. “I’m fine, just stretching.” He lies, his low eyes locking with yours.
“What are you doing?” He mouths at you so the microphone doesn’t pick it up. You pull his headset off of one eye and lean in to whisper, “I wanna play too.”
You don’t say anything else and lean back with a smile on your face while fixing his headphones. He opens his mouth, wanting to say something in return but you don’t let him as you grab his jaw and push your lips together. Jisung doesn’t fight you, quickly melting into the kiss while placing a hand on your waist and letting it linger there for a moment.
“Jisung? HELLO?” Jeno and Mark are basically yelling into the microphone. Dazed from the kiss, Jisung hums in response. “The match started man, what are you doing?” Jeno laughs. “Oh shit, my bad.” Jisung’s eyes widen as he quickly sits up and grabs the controller from his desk. You curse Jeno and the game for interrupting the attention you were finally receiving.
That wasn’t stopping you, though. You go back to slowly grinding down, trying your best to bite back a whimper at the slight friction. You’re almost embarrassed at how quickly you feel your panties stick to your folds.
Glancing over at Jisung, you see his eyebrows furrowed, jaw clenched and his breathing has picked up. This is enough to keep you motivated as you drag a hand down to his cock to palm him through his sweatpants.
“Oh fuck.” Jisung softly whispers, clenching his eyes shut at the sensation before trying to bring his focus back to the game. His bottom lip is pulled between his teeth in hopes to hold back any sounds that may slip out into the microphone. You can’t help but smile to yourself at the sight. You continue to softly drag your hand up and down on his now hard bulge, feeling the slightest damp spot appear underneath your fingers.
You keep this up for a while before you hear another “defeat” come from the headset. Knowing the game is over, you take this moment to get off Jisung’s lap. He looks up at you with desperate yet questioning eyes but quickly understands once he sees you pulling off your shorts. You pull at his waistband, motioning him to do the same and he very swiftly pulls his sweatpants off, not wasting any time.
“No underwear?” You snicker quietly. His face flushes and doesn’t respond. You climb back onto his lap and plop down, pulling a gasp from both of you. The lack of clothing between you now has you twitching with anticipation.
By now, you’ve definitely soaked through your panties. And you’re proven right by Jisung pulling them to the side and dragging a finger through your folds, a deep groan leaves him at the squelching. You place a palm over his mouth, trying your best to stop the sounds from escaping him and into the microphone before dragging your soaked cunt over his cunt. He moans into your hand, with his own gripping your hips. You’re in awe watching Jisung’s eyes roll back into his skull for a moment.
“Jisung… what’s going on over there?” Mark sounds suspicious. Jeno jumps in, “Yeah, you good?” Jisung’s eyes widened as if he’d forgotten he was on a call with them. He pulls your hand off of his mouth and shakily replies, “S-sorry guy's I-, can we cancel the queue for a second?”
They barely had any time to agree before Jisung had already gone to mute his mic and push his headset off to toss on his desk. “Please fucking ride me.” He begs, already breathless. You don’t waste any time, positioning yourself over him and slowly sinking down. He tosses his head back into his chair and moans loudly at the feeling. Your mouth drops open at how deep he is from the angle. “Oh my god, Sung. So fucking big.”
Your words go straight to his dick and he grips at your thighs, helping you bounce on him. “You’re so tight, I could cry.” Jisung moans. You can’t stop the giggle that leaves you at how desperate he sounded but it was cut short as he thrusts up to meet your dripping heat.
You lift the hem of Jisung’s shirt up to his lips, signaling for him to hold it up with his mouth and he does exactly that. He lets out a soft, muffled whine at your hands dragging up his torso, softly sliding a thumb over his nipples. Jisung lets out a whimper, twitching underneath you. He grabs at your arm to stop you before dropping his shirt from his lips. “Lean against the desk.”
You’ve never moved so fast before, quickly hopping off of his lap and positioning yourself over his desk. He stands up and from behind you, grabs your waist and lines himself up before slowly entering you again. “Fuck, Sung.” The stretch has your eyes rolling back into your head. If it weren’t for the desk, your legs would’ve most definitely given out.
Your hands reach forward and you feel the headset that Jisung had thrown there. Without thinking, you pick them up and place them on yourself. “Looks so hot on you.” Jisung groans, his tip is kissing your cervix with slow, hard thrusts, making the desk shake with each movement. “Yeah?” You gasp.
You turned your head toward him and pulled the mic down to your mouth while holding eye contact. “Y’know how hot it’d be if Mark and Jeno heard this?” A sultry smile pulls at your lips. Jisungs gives an extra hard thrust at your words that pulls a loud moan out of you. Yet, a blush creeps up his neck as he mumbles, “I’m sure you’d love for them to hear how good you take it.” You whine in agreement, shivering at the thought.
“Fuck baby, you’re dripping.” Jisung reaches a hand down to your clit and begins rubbing small circles there. A sob rips from your throat at the stimulation, tears now pooling in your eyes. “Sung, m’gonna cum! Fuck, please make me cum!” You reach back and grab at his arm, needing to have your hands occupied.
He helps you out by pulling both of your arms behind you and with one hand, holds your wrists while beginning to pick up his pace. At this point, you're drooling on his desk but you don’t even notice, so focused on how close you are. “You’re so good to me, baby. F-feels so good.” Jisung can barely say with each moan spilling from his mouth.
With a couple more deep strokes, your high hits. Convulsing and clenching around Jisung, a choked moan leaves your mouth as your vision goes blank. You faintly hear him gasp at the feeling of your walls pulsating around him, “Fuck, fuck, fuck~” His grip on your wrists get tighter as he spills into you.
You both take a moment to catch your breath and Jisung slowly pulls out of you. A soft whine leaves you, the soreness already hitting. You haven’t moved from your position over the desk and Jisung, while massaging your wrists asks, “You okay, baby?”
You slowly push yourself up off the desk, and immediately feel your legs start shaking. A laugh leaves you as you nod, “Never been better!” Jisung giggles with you, and goes to grab the forgotten headset off of your head.
Grabbing Jisung from the collar of his shirt, you pull him into a deep kiss, making him whimper into your mouth. Pulling away, you utter, “If you get off the game with Jeno and Mark right now, we can go another round.” A cheeky smile pulls at your lips and he nods eagerly, already placing his headset on and unmuting himself, ready to end the night of gaming.
“Next time, turn your camera on so we can watch.” Jeno shamelessly says. “What?” Jisung questions, confused.
Mark awkwardly speaks up, “Um, you didn’t actually mute your mic...”
You watch Jisung stare blankly at the monitor, the color slowly draining from his face. You worriedly place a hand on his cheek, “Sung, what happened?”
Moving in closer to him, you hear the muffled voice of Jeno speaking, “-did she not say how hot it’d be for us to hear it? You can let her know I thought it was pretty hot to listen.”
Your eyes widen at the words before you burst into a fit of laughter.
“Uh, enjoy your second round.” Mark embarrassingly mutters. Jisung stutters but can’t find any words to say. You take the headset and place them on your own head once again,
“Sorry, maybe Sung will let you guys watch next time?”
Summary: you decide to take losing your virginity into your own hands by asking your good friend Sion, but sensing your nervousness, he slightly changes your plans.
Warnings: sexual content, Sion djs ur cooch, fwb/friends tot lovers kinda vibe??? Idk
Word count: 3.1k
A/N: really attracted to Sion atm. Also first wish post yayyyy. actually used @neocharm fic as inspo for this cuz it was toooo tea. Here the link if y'all wanna read it (y'all should def read. It changed my life) sorry if this is bad I haven't written anything in a long time
“So…”
"So?”
You sit on his bed back upright with your hands folded on your lap. The tension is so thick and so is the headache brewing in your skull. Sion's staring at you while resting his body on his hands, his little smile taunting you from your peripheral.
"You don't have to sit so far from me you know,” Sion says, chuckling at your startled reaction.
“O-oh right. Yeah, sorry." You scoot over to him, barely moving an inch on the bed. This is not how it was supposed to go. You were supposed to lose your virginity with your close friend because you're comfortable with him, but something changed the second you walked into his house.
You've never really had a thing for him despite him being a lady's man. Yes he's attractive, but that's never been something that you focused on with him. He's a good friend, never making you feel embarrassed or uncomfortable despite you being a woman. He heard your concerns about being a virgin at 21 and came up with the solution. "Let me take your virginity.” He was so nonchalant about the comment it nearly gave you whiplash, but here you are in his room like it never bothered you.
You may know him well, but nothing is more intimidating than being alone with a hot person. And he knows he's hot, which makes it worse. He knows how to get girls going, how to draw them in and capture them for good. And you're now noticing that he's looking at you how he looks at girls he wants.
" Listen we don't have to if you don't-”
"No no! I want to! I just…" you voice trails off as brows knit, worry beginning to cover your face. “This is new to me. I can't make the first move."
Sion laughs and sighs, eyes staring into your soul as he sits up on the bed. “Just kiss me Y/N. You know how to do that, right?"
You nod slowly. Your response makes him laugh again, which makes you frown in return. Can't he see how hard this is for you? Sure, you asked him, but nonetheless this is the most anxiety inducing decision you've made in your entire life.
"Oh don't get upset. You want me to kiss you first,” he offers. Sion scoots closer to you, wrapping his arm around your waist. He's close, too close maybe. You've never been this close to him before and it makes your heart beat from your chest. This was supposed to be something that has no emotion attached but it's starting to feel like he's more into it than you, or maybe it's the opposite.
" Just follow my lead, okay? There's nothing to be nervous about. It's just me, I'll take good care of you,” he says in a soft voice. Sion takes his other hand, placing it on your chin to lift your face. You close your eyes seeing him lean in, but he doesn't kiss you. Instead, he kisses your cheek. Sion peppers soft kisses on your face, kissing the corner of your mouth before kissing down your jaw. It's really starting to feel personal now. You understand he doesn't want to get straight to the point, but this is beginning to make you a bit dizzy.
You feel him making his way back to your face, kisses trailing up your neck and jaw back to the corner of your mouth. Your hands move on their own along with your body, beginning to tilt closer to him. Fingertips trailing up his arm stopping at his wrist, it lights something in him, something that's far from friendly.
Sion finally kisses you and it's good, too good. His lips move slowly and sensually, the hand that's on your waist pulls your body close, so close you're damn near on top of him. He seems like an expert in this but you didn't expect anything less. The man has a new woman in his bed every week, so it hardly surprises you how smooth it is. But what does surprise you is how gentle and slow he is.
Sion slips a bit of tongue, making you go still. You've never kissed anyone for this long, let alone with this much passion. You aren't sure what to do or how to respond and he can tell. So he doesn't let you think about it too much. he just kisses you deep, teeth nipping at your lip, laughing softly on your mouth when you release a tiny gasp. You can feel yourself melting into his touch.
Sion pulls away, a smirk tugging at his lips watching your eyes flutter open to look at his. “Did you like that," he says.
You're flustered, heart racing and heavy breathing not going unnoticed by the male in front of you. He's so handsome, pretty eyes, pretty lips, and soft hands. You never really noticed these things before but they're more than clear now. Does he kiss everyone like that or just you? No wonder he has so much girl drama.
"Y/N, you gotta talk to me,” he laughs softly, biting his lip after.
"O-oh, uh… yeah, yeah," you say, nodding with wide eyes.
Sion's reaction makes your stomach so backflips. His soft teasing laughter pings in your chest, his intense eye contact making the ping worse. And now your senses are heightened and you notice everything. His hand still on your chin, yours still around his wrist, his other hand rubbing circles into the exposed skin on your waist. This is intimate, a bit too intimate.
"I think you should wait to lose your virginity,” he says, the comment surprising you.
"Wait, why,” you question. “I thought you were okay with it," you say, voice trailing off into a quiet whisper.
“I am, but… you seem a bit flustered for this to be no strings attached," he comments.
You don't say anything, just look away. Sion knows you enough to know that you agree with him, but you just don't want to say it. But he feels it too. He feels the spark, and he actually enjoys it. He can't say he's never looked at you in that way before. You're beautiful, funny, smart, and someone he's actually comfortable with. The only thing he's worried about is if you both were to actually go all the way, would you regret ever asking him.
“We can do something else, only if you're okay with it of course," he says.
Your mind wanders to every possible interaction, face heating at the thought of him touching you in those ways even though you asked him to. You weren't supposed to get shy during this at all. You were supposed to rip your clothes off and let him get at you, but how could you when he looks at you like that. Like he can see your thoughts and read your mind.
"I'm okay with it,” you say quietly. You shut your eyes the moment he leans in, kissing you softly. Sion lays you down, his bed soft as ever. There's something so intentional about the way he slides his hand down your body, fingers pressing into your soft skin all while devouring your lips. You're over stimulated and getting hornier by the second. You've never had these emotions stir from simply making out. Every possible person you've kissed was always bland, boring, detached, but this is a whole new level.
He pulls away from you for a second, a string of saliva keeping your two connected as he pushes your shirt up. You gulp as you watch him expose your chest, bra hugging your breast tight.
“Pretty," he mumbled. Sion kissed down your neck, nipping at the skin teasingly. He kisses lower, his lips fanning softly over the mound of your breast. He was touching you as if you'd break. His fingers twitch, itching to get the clothes off of you, but he doesn't want to scare you. He doesn't want this to feel like a sloppy hookup or likes he's simply using you. But the reality is that you're the one using him, and he likes it.
You don't realize how fast and quick you're breathing till he kisses down your abdomen. The kisses are wet, while his eyes bore into yours not wanting you to forget the image of him getting lower and lower to your hips. There it is, the anxiety that blooms in your stomach whenever you're in impossible situations.
Sion kisses your hip and pauses, watching you gulp as the contact lingers on your skin. “Don't be nervous,” he said almost in a whisper.
He crawled back up your body, his slender frame covering your body casting a shadow over you. He kisses you with a tenderness you hadn't felt from him yet, but you liked it. You liked all of this. It felt real, as if you did this with him all the time, but maybe it's because he knows you so well already he didn't have to think too much.
Sion can't let himself melt into you too much in fear he won't be able to pull himself up. He doesn't really have crushes or relationships. It saves him from having to get close to people he has no intention of getting close with. Sure, he can end up in sticky situations with some girls he sees regularly, but it's nothing he can't handle. Still, no matter how many girls he's dealt with, none of those experiences come close to this one.
None of them make him feel as elated as he feels sinking his thumbs into the waistband of your shorts and panties, knowing he's about to be the first person you do this with. You keep up with his rhythm, lips moving at a pace that now feels natural to you. He's kissing you slow and deep like before, tongue deep in your mouth. He can tell you're beginning to feel comfortable the second you take his face in your hands, not wanting to let him go.
Just when he thought you'd shaken your nerves, you stiffen the second you feel him tug at your clothes. Every self conscious thought you had reappeared, stomach erupting in flame once again.
“I-I didn't shave," you blurt out. You half expected an irritated hiss from him, or maybe for him to back out. But Sion laughed, paying your comment no mind as he kissed your neck.
"I don't care about stuff like that Y/N,” he says, beginning to pull your shorts down again. He tugs the fabric, your skin becoming more and more exposed. “Just remember if you're not comfortable we can stop okay?"
You nod, but you can't tear your eyes from the scene below you. Your shorts are now on the floor, panties still on. Sion walks his fingers down your thigh as he kisses your neck, hand inching more and more between your legs.
“Do you touch yourself Y/N,” he asks, lips still on your skin.
"I-I, uh..” you could barely answer, let alone think. His fingers are so close to your clothes pussy it's starting to tear you apart.
"Focus sweetheart. Talk to me.”
"I-Ive tried, but I didn't feel much,” you say. A soft gasp leaves your lips when feel his fingers graze your clit, the sound making him raise his brows.
" I can make you feel something.” His deep voice came out as a breathless whisper, tickling your eardrums as he rubs his finger against your panties softly. Your legs were shutting, the sensation of him touching you there being too bizarre at the moment, but still good. He watches every expression that comes across your face. It's cute how expressive you are when you're alone with someone you like. Sion starts pulling your legs apart, expecting you to shy away, but you don't.
You can't pull your eyes from his hand, every stroke his thumb puts you more and more into a haze of pleasure. Sion kisses your jaw, sucking the skin while he rubs your through the fabric. Your heavy breathing begins to turn to soft moans and whimpers, sounds you were trying to hold in for so long.
“Sion," you moaned breathlessly.
"You're so perfect baby. Just for me,” he mumbles. “Can I touch you some more?"
Without a second thought, you nod. Sion hooks his fingers in your panties, the nerves starting to hit you again the moment he moves them to the side. He dips his fingers in you, collecting your slick on his digit. He rubs you, lip between his teeth while he watches you shiver in pleasure.
Your eyes roll back, brows knit as you allow the feeling to spill through your body. " F-fuck, feels so good,” you moan softly.
"Yeah? Are you gonna cum," he whispers in your ear.
You gulp, nodding at his words. Sion rubs your clit faster, pulling a louder whimper from your body. Soft lips sprinkle wet kisses on your neck, his tongue on your skin making you hotter than before. You can't tell, but he's holding back. Sion knows how greedy he can get, how much of a lover he is. He enjoys pleasing his partners, catering to their needs. It's taking everything in him to not move too fast and fuck you into the mattress, and it's killing him.
"Oh my God Sion,” you moan, throwing your head back. Your hips grind on his hand, searching for a high.
“Do you feel good,” he whispers.
"Words baby, speak to me.”
"It feels so, so good," you whine. “You feel so good."
He feels his stomach turn to knots, your words nearly making him combust right there on top of you. There's something so good about hearing you say that, knowing he's the only person to make you feel this way. His cock is rock hard against the fabric on his body. Nothing but the desire to bring you to your climax takes over this brain.
"Good girl, just like that baby,” he says as you grind your hips on his hand. His lips are stuck on your skin, tongue constantly darting out to taste your soft salty skin. He coats your neck in small hickies making his way to your lips. He kisses you tenderly, tongue down your throat as he rubs you faster. Your body shakes, loud moans pouring into his mouth as you grab the nape of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair.
“F-fuck," you whimper into his mouth.
Sion feels the way you tense up, the way you grip his hair the instant you cum on his fingers. “That's right, let it out Y/N.” He keeps rubbing your clit, loving the way your body spasms under his touch. His hand is wet along with your thighs, and he loves the mess. He kisses you deep, slowing his fingers down gradually, allowing you to come down from your very first orgasm.
"You did so good,” he mumbles, a smile tugging on his face. “How do you feel, hm?”
You were speechless, brain still mush after the out of body experience you just had. There was a slight buzz between the two of you, a buzz that was more than platonic and you liked it. You lived it in fact. The way he was so gentle with you, so caring, making sure you felt comfortable. This felt like something only boyfriends do and you like that feeling.
"I… I..”
He watched you, eyes never leaving yours as the both of you breathe heavily due to the adrenaline rush of being at each other's mercy. The more you stared at him, the more that intimating feeling began to rush back in. Your face turns hot, eyes fluttering as you look away from him quickly, embarrassment beginning to form.
" I-i feel good,” you say quietly.
"Good? That's it,” he teases. Sion licks his lips, his signature smile beaming in your face as you try and find more words to say.
"I-I mean, uh..”
The man laughs at you, pecking your lips softly. “I'm fucking with you.” He gets quiet, eyes grazing over your body. His hand that was between your legs now rests on your thigh allowing you to close them. You look pretty, face flushed, your skin glowing, lips pretty and plump. He could stare at you forever.
"You know I care about you right,” he says, a small gulp passing down his throat.
“I know," you answer quietly. Sion takes his hand that was just between your legs, grabbing your jaw gently. He kisses you soft, a kiss that feels emotionally charged and not very platonic. What he did to you wasn't platonic either, and he has no intention of keeping it that way.
Sion pulls away, lifting his body away from you. In that instance, you wanted to pull him back. You wanted to kiss him again and again and again until you couldn't anymore, until he took you in his hands again and maybe, just maybe, pulled your panties down and-
“You okay? You look a bit distracted," he said, raising a brow at your distant expression. “Did you hear me?"
“Uh, sorry," you say, body getting hot at the thought of fucking your friend.
"I was asking if you wanted to stay over,” he chuckled. He could tell you were taken back by the expression on your face. You tensed up, eyes darting around the room in an awkward motion.
“Like… tonight?”
He nodded, lip between his teeth. “You don't have to."
You pause, staring at your hands thinking about what staying could mean. Maybe you really will just hang out like friends. Maybe he'll touch you more. Maybe he'd actually take your virginity. “Yeah, I can stay," you say, trying to stay calm about it but on the inside you're freaking out, and so was Sion. He felt like a middle schooler again, when your crush agrees to study with you or walk to class with you. It's a nostalgic feeling.
“Cool! Um…you can wash up if you want. You know where everything is," he says, an awkward chuckle following.
You nod, standing up quickly. You almost forgot that you had no pants on till you saw them on the floor at your feet. Quickly, you picked them up avoiding eye contact with he male besides who's amused by your every move.
“I'll be back," you say, scurrying out the room. Your heart beats faster than you could imagine as you make your way to his bathroom.
“Don't make me wait too long," he says quietly to himself. “I don't think I can wait anymore."
Sion lays back on his bed, staring at his ceiling fan as it turns. His head is jumbled with many conflicting emotions and concepts, he doesn't know which one to choose. So his plan is to let them choose him.
And, God, he hopes he can pick well, because if not, he would hate to lose you as a friend or even as something more.
❯ summary: Kids were never really something you thought about. But then you saw your sexy as fuck boyfriend playing uncle and now you can't stop thinking about giving him a baby of his own. What can you say...your hormones are high.
❯ pairings: haechan x fem!reader
❯ genre: smut, established relationship
❯ words: 2.7k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, unprotected sex (don't do this!), swearing, breeding and pregnancy kink, possessiveness, dirty talk, begging, praise, creampie, slight angst not really idk, fluff, reader uses she/her pronouns, literally just the reader getting baby fever from seeing hyuck with kids (very real el oh el.)
an: i know this is like my third haechan post in a week, but i literally don’t care. sue me x
You didn’t want kids. Well, that’s not true. You were indifferent to kids.
That was until you saw your boyfriend with them. You didn’t think you could be more attracted to him, but then he had to go and check off the "great with kids" box. Maybe it’s just his playful side, but Lee Donghyuck is just so good with them.
And being forced to attend his niece’s first birthday party made you realise it. Honestly, you’d never given much thought to the idea of kids—cute yes, ready to give up endless nights of sleep, no.
But the minute after you walked through his childhood family home and were done greeting his parents and siblings, a swarm of kids ran at him, hugging his legs and stomach. And he just melted into them, so gentle and excited. It was cute and made you smile.
From then it was him letting his oldest niece cover his tanned cheeks in blush and stickers, to tossing a ball with his nephew after he announced he made the basketball team—and don’t even get started on him poking the chubby cheeks of his youngest niece, her soft giggles filling the backyard of the party.
It was like he was in his element—soft, loving, and completely at ease. And even though his nieces and nephews had other uncles and aunts, they’d always say Uncle Hyuck was their favourite—even if they weren’t supposed to.
You watch him from the patio door in the kitchen, overhearing him tell his dad he’s “too young to be having the adult conversations,” which was really code for ‘let me play with the kids.’
Running around, telling jokes, creating games. It had your stomach turning and—were your heart strings being pulled? Seeing this absolute perfect man, so caring and playful, living just to make those little ones laugh and smile, had you seriously considering the sleepless nights that might come with having some of your own.
Wait.
“He’s good with them, huh?”
You jolt, turning to see Hyuck’s sister standing behind you.
“Uh... yeah, I guess so,” you shrug. She steps beside you, and the two of you stand there, watching your boyfriend bounce his niece in his arms, soothing her gently.
She giggles, and you glance over at Hyuck’s sister again. “What?”
“Nothing,” she shrugs. “Just... you’re looking at him like you’re ready to add to the Lee family name.”
You gasp. “I am not!”
She gives you a knowing look, and you bite your lip, eyes shifting back to Hyuck. This time, he’s handing his niece a sippy cup, tapping her nose. Your chest tightens.
“Okay... I suppose he is good with them.”
Hyuck’s sister nods, humming in agreement. “He always has been. With every younger sibling, every cousin—even when I had my first daughter, Hyuck was the most excited.”
He’s sitting on the grass now, all his nieces and nephews swarming him, tickling him. He’s being extra dramatic, letting the younger ones tug at his hair just to make them laugh. You stare, warmth and wholesomeness filling you.
“He’d make a great dad, Y/N.”
The statement is completely sobering.
“Uh,” you stammer, running a hand through your hair. “I don’t know. We haven’t really talked about it.”
That’s not entirely true. You had spoken about it—once. You’d told him it wasn’t something you had planned for but weren’t necessarily opposed to, and the conversation had never come up again.
Hyuck’s sister blinks at you, clearly confused. “That’s crazy. Hyuck’s always said he wants to be a dad.”
Clearly.
There’s no denying that. It’s so obvious—every second he’s cupping up the kids, tickling them, teasing them. He looks so profoundly happy, so perfect. And it suddenly clicks for you.
This could be yours. Forever. He wants it. And now... you’re starting to think you want it, too. Him, this, forever. His kids. Your kids.
“Y/N! Y/N!” one of the younger kids calls, waving you over from across the backyard. “Can you play with us? We need more people to play the monsters. Uncle Hyuckie can’t do it on his own.”
And just like that, you’re being pulled away from the baby fever conversation and coaxed into joining them—not that it took much convincing. Your thoughts were starting to scare you a little. You’d never seriously thought about kids—until now.
Because you’d never seen Hyuck look more attractive than when he was playing dad.
“I can’t believe she’s one already,” Hyuck beams from where he’s stretched out on your bed. He’s been talking about the party nonstop since you got home. “Did you see the little bows in her hair? So fucking cute.”
You glance at him through the vanity mirror where you’re sitting, watching the way his face lights up, animated and so full of joy. There’s a warmth in your eyes, your lips curved into a soft smile as you take him in. He notices, raising an eyebrow.
“What’s that look for?”
You stand and walk over to him, leaning down to press a gentle kiss to his lips. His eyebrows knit together, more confused now.
“Y/N, what’s going on?”
You smile, sidestepping his question with one of your own. “Did you have fun today?”
“Yess…?” he replies, but there’s a trace of suspicion in his voice.
“Your family’s really nice.”
“Oh, are they now?” He squints playfully. “I saw you talking to my sister. I hope she wasn’t embarrassing me—she loves doing that.”
You shake your head with a giggle. “She wasn’t.”
“Okay…” he draws out. “Then what was she saying?”
“That you’d be a good dad. That you want to be a dad.”
Hyuck’s eyes widen and you mentally add this moment to the short list of times your boyfriend has been rendered completely speechless—still countable on one hand.
He coughs, his cheeks turning pink. “S-She said that?”
You nod, biting your lip to keep from laughing.
“And…what did you say back?”
You spread his legs out on the bed so you can slide between them, sitting there and looking up at him as he waits, eager for your response. He’s so cute like this—adorable, even—clearly dying to hear what you thought.
“I didn’t respond,” you admit honestly.
You catch the flicker of hurt in his eyes, but he covers it with a laugh—though it’s not genuine. You can tell he’s trying to brush it off, trying to pretend that he’d be okay with the possibility that you might not want that kind of future with him.
“She shouldn’t have said that,” he mumbles, embarrassed. “I used to talk about it a lot as a kid. I don’t really think like that now. I can’t, you know… because of my job.”
“So you don’t want kids because of your job?” You ask. The tone in your voice takes him by surprise because now you’re the one sounding hurt.
“Baby... is this a trick question?” He laughs nervously.
You shake your head, crossing your arms across your chest. “No Hyuck. But I want you to answer it truthfully.”
He shrugs, looking unsure. “I don’t know. I haven’t really thought about it.”
“You’re lying.”
He lets out a frustrated sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Baby, I don’t know what you want me to say—”
“The truth,” you insist.
He pauses, his gaze softening. “I love you, Y/N. You said kids weren’t really part of your plan, and that’s okay,” he begins, his voice steady but sincere. “And yeah, maybe I always kind of thought kids would be in mine, but then I met you. And you became my plan.”
You grab a hold of his hand and squeeze. It draws a genuine smile from him before he speaks again.
“I know we’ve never talked about it since. But I’m fine with anything—as long as it’s with you.”
You smile, his comment pulling at your heartstrings because you feel the exact same way.
“Those kids absolutely adore you, Hyuck,” you say and he gives a half smile.
“Well, I am their favourite Uncle.”
You trail a soft finger up and down the naked skin of his arm. His eyes follow your touch and that furrowed expression is on his face again.
“Y/N what’s going on with you? You’re confusing me—”
“You know—” you cut him off. “I think you’d be a great dad.”
He stares at you, properly taking you in. He’s never seen this side of you before, and you’ve never given him a compliment quite like that before. The thought of you being into the idea of him as a dad… well, he didn’t expect it to turn him on this much. Maybe it’s the way your fingers brush his arm? Yeah no, it’s not.
“Today made me realise something,” you say, shifting to straddle his hips, your arms wrapping around his neck now. He raises a curious brow, waiting. “You look so hot with kids. The thought of you being a dad is so fucking hot, Hyuck.”
Hyuck smiles at the confession, and his hands move to grip your ass as he ground your hips forward on himself. You let out a small gasp of surprise as you feel him.
“Please don’t joke like that, Y/N,” he whines, eyes squeezing shut. “Because I’ve been thinking about you being the mother of my kids since the day I met you.”
You giggle, biting your lip to stifle the soft moans escaping you as he grinds you slowly against his growing bulge.
“Well, why don’t you do something about it then,” you tease breathlessly, feeling the hardness of him through his sweatpants.
Hyuck’s mouth parts, caught somewhere between awe and shock, but before he can question how serious you are, your lips capture his, and your tongue is slipping inside his mouth to deepen the kiss.
The groan you both share is synchronised, and it’s all the encouragement he needs to flip you over, hovering above you with a renewed sense of urgency to make promise of your teasing.
His fingers hook into your panties, sliding them off as you shift upward against your pillows, tossing your nightgown aside. Hyuck strips out of his own clothes, desperate to press his bare skin against yours, his need overwhelming any sense of patience.
He kisses you back roughly, passionately. Fuelled by your impossible hotness and readiness to be fucked—fucked by him. Your tongue dips deeper and deeper into his mouth, never satisfied, craving more of him. You cling to him, your hands and legs moving over his skin, desperate to feel every inch. Your hips roll up, slickness coating his shaft, causing a rippling gasp to leave his mouth.
Hyuck pulls back with dark eyes. You—his girl—naked and desperate under him, begging him to do something about his baby fever—your baby fever. It’s the hottest shit he’s ever seen. His new favourite thing. His obsession. He loves seeing you like this, he decides—so willing, so desperate for him, for his cock. Needing him to bring you the pleasure only he can give. And he’ll make sure you remember that once you're carrying his child.
The image floods his mind—your stomach growing, swelling with his baby, the glow in your smile as you hold his child. A family, all with him. Only him. Because you want his kids.
The last thought pushes him over the edge, and with a low growl, he bites down on your neck, lips and teeth claiming your skin. He wants you marked by him—like always—but this time it’s different. It’s possessive. Primal. Feral. His saliva wet on your neck, dark bruises blooming over your breasts, his fingers burning prints into your hips, and his seed buried deep inside your soaking wet cunt.
His cock jumps when you roll your hips again, your whimpers causing him to groan and eyes roll back. You sound so desperate. Desperate to make him your forever.
“Hyuck—” you sob as his teeth graze your nipple, sending it hardening under his touch. “Please, I need to feel you.”
His eyes sparkle with lust as he drapes your legs over his waist and leans down, capturing your mouth in a long, needy kiss. He aligns himself with your slick pussy, your fingers clawing at his back as he slowly eases into you. He fills you completely, lifting your hips to bury himself deeper.
“So fucking pretty like this,” he mumbles, pulling away to admire the way you take his thick cock. “Taking me so well, always so good for me, aren’t you, baby?”
You moan as his cock hits every spot inside you—so deep, so hard, so good. Each thrust drags along your walls in a way that feels divine.
“Can’t wait until you’re mine, so full of me,” he whispers, kissing your neck. You whimper, your walls clenching at his words, urging him to quicken his pace. “Do you want that, baby? Want my cum inside this pretty pussy?”
“Yes—fuck yes—please.”
“Say it for me,” he requests softly, a gentle yet desperate edge in his voice. “Please tell me.”
“I want to be yours; make me yours,” you breathe out.
Hyuck's gaze drops to your lips, entranced by the words spilling from them. He thrusts harder, your nails digging into his skin as you pull him closer. Your cunt swallows his cock whole, turning his thrusts sloppy, and he groans.
You’re practically sobbing with how fast he’s driving into you, so close to seeing stars.
“You’re so good at taking me,” he praises, his breath ragged. “Gonna make me fill you.”
You squeeze around him, and the thought of cumming inside you sends a shiver through his thighs, making his breathing stutter.
“Yes! Fuck, please keep going,” You pant.
“Want you so full of me that it’s dripping down your leg. And then I’ll push it back in when I fuck you again.”
Your breaths grow louder and quicker, matching his as you both teeter on the edge. He kisses you deeply, your mouths suffocating each other as you grip his soft brown hair. His fingers dig into your hips, holding you tight.
“Hyuck—I’m gonna cum.”
“So fucking good, baby,” he moans in awe. “I’m going to fill you with my cum. I want you overflowing with my seed—fuck!” He grunts hoarsely, his body tightening with tension.
Your walls shatter around him, tightening and fluttering on his cock as you cum. Hyuck holds you close, so intimately, holding himself deep inside you as he feels the first spurts of his cum shooting from his cock.
He doesn’t stop, his hips still moving gently, making sure you take everything, softening each thrust with tender kisses along your bare shoulders. You sigh dreamily, fingers threading through his hair, and he smiles, still half-hard inside you. You’re exhausted, and the sight of your sleepy expression makes his heart twist. Leaning down, he presses a soft kiss to your lips, and for a moment, you stay like that—so close, so intimate.
But as the post-orgasm bliss begins to fade, a flicker of panic flashes in his eyes.
“Fuck—” he mutters, pulling himself off of you quickly. There’s a gnawing feeling in his chest, a sudden guilt. “Y/N, I’m really sorry, I got caught up in the moment. Do you want me to run to the store—”
“No.” You shake your head and grab his arm, keeping him close. “I don’t want you to. If that’s okay…”
His eyes darken with lust before a slow smile spreads across his face.
“Y-yeah… that’s more than okay with me,” he says, nodding eagerly.
“Who knows?” You shrug with a teasing grin. “I might not even get pregnant this time.”
His eyebrows shoot up. “This time?”
You nod confidently. “Yeah, this time. Because we’re going to keep doing this until I am pregnant, Hyuck.”
His grin widens as he climbs back into bed, pulling you into his arms.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that, especially not when I woke up this morning,” he laughs, pressing soft kisses along your neck.
You giggle, leaning into his touch. “What can I say? Seeing you in dad mode made me so fucking horny.”
Pairing -> Ice Hockey Player!Lee Jeno x Justrecoveredfromaconcussion!Female Reader.
Genre -> Fake dating. Fluff. Smut.
Word Count -> 33k
Synopsis -> Lee Jeno was a simple person: show up to class, show up to practice, and commit to them. Simple and easy; which was why Jeno never involved himself in relationships. Situationship, late-night hookups? Sure. Relationships were too complicated for his taste so he became infamous for rejecting people with their romantic pursuits. With that aside, one stupid thing he allowed himself to indulge in was bets. Stupid bets. Some were low stakes, some were high stakes, nevertheless bets. So when his friend, Chenle, challenged him to be in a relationship with one person for three months, a low risk bet with a high reward where if Jeno succeeds, Chenle owes him money, but if Jeno fails, Chenle gets Jeno's precious motorbike (Chenle doesn't even have a license!), Jeno simply couldn't refuse such an easy challenge. Whether by sheer luck or not, you were the victim of this subject - the girl he accidentally pucked who ended up in the hospital with a concussion. So, he asked you out, however, the guilt ate him like a parasite and he confessed the truth to you on your date. You, on the other hand, weren't mad that your secret crush of many years, Jeno, asked you out because of a dumb bet and not because he actually liked you, instead, you proposed to fake date each other and split the prize money between the two of you. Jeno agreed to it and had only one condition from him - don't fall in love with him.
Disclaimer -> don’t read this if you hate cliches 😔! one bed trope, motorcyclist Jeno hehe, mentions of murder, stalking, and suicide (not graphic or explicit at all), riding, mirror sex, slight degradation, vibrator, blowjob.
Author’s Note:- A prequel to this and this. All these three one shots can be read as a stand-alone so you don’t have to read the others if you don’t want to. If you want to read all three, you can read the linked stories above first, since it was released first, and then read the prequel. Or, you can start off with this one aka in chronological order. FYI, Chenle appears in both How to Get Your Boyfriend to Breakup with You 101 and this one but he is not the same Zhong Chenle - they are doppelgängers! Same name, same face but two individuals who lead separate lives! Enjoy hehe <3 ao3 ver if u prefer to read it over there instead!
You know how they say your mind replays your whole life in seven seconds right before you die?
Well, yours replayed the most recent event that led up to that moment.
Lee Jeno flew through the ice rink from one end to the other as he dodged the opponent team with only one goal in mind - the perfect last puck of the game to break the tie. The crowd, including you, watched in anticipation with every glide of the crisp blade that skirted around the icy arena. Jeno's movements were too captivating to take your eyes off him, not just because he was your crush, but because he was a star player for a reason with those swift and skilled movements of his! Your bladder was reaching its limits but the game was almost over so you stayed to watch to the very end. This was it! He was near the goal and there was a small opening in the top right corner of the goalpost if he could accurately hit his shot. All the spectators held their breath as the match counted down to the last few seconds of the game, Jeno paused for a millisecond before he whacked the puck with his stick ; the puck flew off the icy ground, into the air, into the direction of the goal net, but it bounced off the metal post, over the barrier, and smacked you right on the side of your forehead. Knocked out.
Your only last thoughts before your vision faded into total darkness were, please don't let me pee my pants.
"Wanna go to the game?" Your friend asked. The last time you went to an ice hockey game, you ended up in the hospital with a raging concussion to the point you had to take the rest of the semester off to recover. So safe to say, you weren't keen on going to another ice hockey game in your life. Ever. Even if your crush was the star player of the team. Now you were back on campus, fully healed and ready to take on the new semester and whatever may come your way.
"Not in this lifetime ever again." You chatted while everyone in the classroom waited for the lecturer to begin the class.
"I totally forgot about that!" Your friend gasped in guilt. "Sorry."
"It's fine," you chuckled at her. "Cute charm." You loved how the small charms decorated her hand and dangled off her wrist.
"Thanks! I've just added this little car charm." She showed you her new charm. "Went on a road trip over the long weekend."
"Fun! Where'd you go?" You asked her.
"We went to-"
"So!" Professor Choi Sooyoung randomly bursted out in a loud voice and clapped her hands together and the chatter of the classroom died down. "Now that we're done with group projects, we will be focusing on your individual project."
"No more working together," you whispered and frowned at your friend beside you while the Professor talked.
"I'm sad." She pouted back.
"You're more than welcome to take the film in any direction you like as long as it focuses on dark themes." Professor Choi Sooyoung sat on the table. "Any questions?"
Someone raised their hand. "Is sexual intimacy on the table?"
"Everything is on the table: addiction, sex. As long as there's a message behind it. We're all adults here. I'll release a more detailed guideline that you can refer to later." She replied. "But don't go around shooting porn." Some people in the classroom groaned in disappointment.
"I will also be submitting these to a local competition, and whoever gets first place, wins a sponsored trip." This information caused chatter and murmer among your classmates including you. "So I expect quality work from each and everyone of you." She commented and then resumed her lecture till class was over.
You and your friend walked out the lecture hall and headed to the library cafe for a quick pick-me-up before you went your separate ways. "Gosh, I thought this would be an easy elective but she's submitting this to a competition!" You groaned and your friend reciprocated.
"I heard she didn't even do this last semester. Some just filmed on their phone and submitted it as is. So many people got an easy A." Your friend huffed and complained.
"What the heck! Shoot, I don't even have a camera!" The class had only worked and submitted on group projects so far this semester, you took this elective solely because it sounded fun and heard that the professor was chill most of the time, so you had different roles like a script writer or the props person instead of the camera man or the director. Your heart thumped raced in your head at the fact you had to carry all these heavy roles just for an elective! You didn't even own a camera! "Do you have any I can borrow or rent?" You asked as you both entered the library cafe.
"Sorry, I'm also borrowing mine from a friend's friend." She frowned in response. Your lips pursed into a thin and nodded understandingly. "Wait! Let me ask my friend!" She screamed almost too loudly where she received death stares from other people around her. Even though there was a cafe in the library, the quiet rule was still heavily enforced throughout the premise. "Maybe I can ask my friend's friend if he has extra cameras laying around? He's super into photography."
"Really? It's fine if he doesn't have any, I'll find a different way." You reassured her.
"Let me just give it a try." She texted her friend's friend and he promptly texted her back."Yes!" She exclaimed. "He has a couple extra old ones that he doesn't mind lending to you but they're still in good condition. Is that alright for you?"
"More than perfect! I'm just trying to pass this class." You smiled brightly and your heart let out a breath of relief. Now you can focus on other things and order your favourite drink.
"Ok, his name is Bae Jinyoung and I'll text you his contact info." She swiftly sent you his contact information via text.
"Thanks! You're the best!" You hugged her while you both stood in line at the cafe, waiting to order your drinks. The cafe was always occupied with people but today was a bit of a quiet day, granted most of them were still in class while yours ended early.
The second you stepped into the cafe, you glanced at Jeno who sat across from Chenle as they both played games on their phones. Well, you didn't exactly see Chenle but you saw the back of his head which was unmistakably his. There was a secret you kept to yourself and never whispered it to a single soul - not because you were ashamed of it but because you felt silly, almost cliche-like, for liking a popular guy who had never noticed you and it wasn't like you made an effort to get acquainted with him like most people do with their crushes, especially since you knew he infamously doesn't do relationships. You've heard the stories from acquitances and classmates, Jeno's a straightforward type of person who makes it clear from the beginning that it would only be physical, but alas, there was something about his charm, his looks, the way he fucked that made girls fall deeper and deeper with him. Some of them were bold and tried to shoot their shot but Jeno would reject them faster than you could say airball. It would devastate you to have all of him, yet, he was never yours to begin with.
"Staring at Lee Jeno?" Your friend teased and nudged your shoulders while you waited behind someone in line.
Your eyes widened at the fact you got caught staring at Jeno. "N-no," your denial made heat crawled up to your back. "You don't see people with red hair everyday." You pointed to Jeno's hairdo.
"Girl, it's fine. He's hot and cute." Your friend also glanced at Jeno was remained oblivious at the two souls staring at him.
"Someone has a crush," you playfully diverted the attention to her instead.
She snorted at your statement. "He's good looking but not my type."
"Not your type?"
"You know, popular, it's like dating a celebrity. I would get so jealous if other girls constantly looked at my man," she explained.
"Yeah, I get it."
"Is that why you've never talked to him?"
Why the hell was she perspective for? "No!" You jumped in almost too defensively. "Yeah he's cute but he gives me the ick." There was a sliver of truth in your statement. "I saw him sneeze into his hands instead of his elbow or a tissue." When it happened, you were both in the cafe library but you were seated in a corner waiting for your friend to arrive. While Jeno stood in line to order his drink. From a distance, you took note how he finally shed his leather jacket and hoodie when the weather was warmer and traded it for a black T-shirt. You were secretly admiring the way his biceps flexed against the short sleeves but that moment was interrupted when his whole body jolted into a sneeze and he covered it with his hands. Ew. Then proceeded to pay and take his drink with the same unwashed hands. Men. Safe to say you called the time of death on your crush.
"Ew," your friend's face morphed into the exact expression of disgust you made when it happened and you couldn't helped but laugh.
"What would you like to order?" The cashier asked as you both now stood in front of her.
"I'll have a Frappuccino mocha with extra chocolate drizzle." Your friend gave her order to the cashier.
"And I'll have an iced peach lemon tea, please." You promptly added afterwards.
"What size for both?"
"Regular, huh." You informed the cashier.
"Alright, thanks. Your order will be ready once this beeps." She handed a small black device once you both paid for your drinks.
Then, you both situated yourself in the corner booth since it was empty while you waited for your order to be called on. "What are you planning to do for your assignment by the way?" You asked her.
"I'll figure it out later but something along the lines of toxic love, domestic abuse or even touch upon Stockholm syndrome since it sounds interesting to me."
"Ooh! Definitely go for it, I would watch that in a heartbeat." You replied enthusiastically.
"How about you?"
"Ooh," you hissed and gave her question a thought. "I'm leaning towards a thriller type of thing, murder just sounds appealing."
She snorted and quietly laughed at your response. "That sounds so weird without context."
Lee Jeno was a simple man: show up to class, show up to practice, and commit to it. Clean, simple, and predictable. Relationships on the other hand, there were messy, too many variables and miscellaneous feelings involved with no clear winner.
Hence why Jeno kept it straightforward and simple with anyone involved; he makes it clear that it's purely a mutual physical relationship with no labels. If they didn't like it? More than welcome to leave. However, there were still people who chose to read beyond Jeno's words and attemptted to pursue a relationship. He could only shake his head at their silly pursuits and sigh in disappointment before he broke it off. Of course, on more than one occasion, he was met with girls who felt upset and betrayed by him so they hit him, cursed him, smeared his name, and he pretty much had braced himself against those reactions - that was fine. The worst of all was when they would act out in public and dragged him under the scrutinizing eyes of strangers. For once, it would be nice to have someone who understood him and cleanly break it off with no feelings involved.
There was something else he loved as much as the concept of simplicity and predictability - the rush of adrenaline. There was something addicting and inticing to the thrill of not knowing the bounds of your limits. He too found it ironic that two matters on the opposite side of the spectrum was something he liked. The rush of speeding through the highway on his bike, the intense countdown from the game to make his bet, and stupid bets that had no real value to it
"I bet you can't do it." Chenle sucked in the last bits of his coconut matcha and wriggled his eyebrows at Jeno with that cheesy grin of his.
Jeno rolled his eyes and ran his fingers through his faded red hair; that was another stupid bet with Chenle, which he unfortunately lost hence the red hair, it was a bet to see who could break more eggs with their head, and lo and behold, it was Zhong Chenle. 42 vs 32. "I can, just don't want to." He rolled his eyes at Chenle.
"Not even if you tried." Chenle snorted which provoked the competitive spirit that was slowly burning up in Jeno as Chenle continued to mocked him.
"You're trying to lure me in." He leaned closer to Chenle. "I'm not doing it." Jeno was determined to not be pulled into Chenle's silly antics again.
"I dare you." His signature grin plastered on his face.
"No." Jeno replied in a bored tone.
"Please!" Chenle whined too loudly which received death glares from other people around them.
Jeno grew conscious of the unwanted stares and toned down his voice even more even though he wasn't the one speakinf loudly. "No."
"I'll give you a thousand!" He begged with his hands clasped together.
"A thousand?" Jeno gawked at the preposition Chenle was throwing for a silly little bet. "Really?" He knew that Chenle had more than enough money to burn for silly things like this but, even then, it was going too far. The stakes did not match the reward.
There was smug smirked stitched on Chenle's face. "Need to burn all my money somehow." He shrugged cockily.
God was he sometimes annoying. "Go on." Nevertheless, he was intrigued with Chenle's proposition.
"If you lose, you give me your motorbike."
"Fuck no way, bets off. You don't even have a license." Jeno shook his head. "I saved up money to buy that bike."
"Nah, it would be the perfect practice bike." He leaned back against the chair and crossed his legs. "Gotta scratch something up before I buy a real bike."
"My motorbike is a Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14R that can speed at 295 kilometres per hour, " Jeno punched Chenle, "while you scream riding at the back."
"It's because I want to feel Jeno Oppa's hard abs." He cackled and teased by simultaneously touching his biceps and and up but Jeno shooed him away.
"No bet." Jeno shook his head, he knew it was too good to be true.
"So, what I'm hearing is that you're a," Chenle paused for a second. "Chicken," he whispered in Jeno's ear and there was a devilish grin on his face.
"It's not wor-" Jeno took a deep breath and closed his eyes. This was just one of Chenle's many tactics to make other people do stupid things.
"Bok, bok, bok." Chenle started clucking with his hands near his armpit.
"I'm not going to do it." Jeno stood firm.
"Bok, bok, bok." His neck pecked out of his body with his eyes wide opened with his arms folded to the side. "Bok, bok, bok."
"Fine." Jeno grumbled and pursed his lips into a thin line. "So, how's this going to work?"
Chenle clapped his hands excitedly, which received another round of angry stares from people nearby. "You have to date the first girl who orders an iced peach lemon tea for three months. No dating apps, no cheating, a full-on committed relationship." He explained the Jeno premise of the bet.
"Fine, deal."
"Yes!" They both shook on it, especially Chenle with his vigorous handshake. Jeno was a hostage since Chenle was insistent that they would find the perfect candidate at the cafe library. Although Jeno was held against his will, he didn't mind spending the rest of the afternoon there since all his classes for the day was in the morning. Chenle, however, skipped his afternoon class in favour of waiting for the person to order the drink, he would occasionally checked for the time on his watch. They hadn't noticed how quickly time passed because they were engrossed with a game on their respective phones.
"You're so shit at this game." Jeno commented.
"Shut the fuck up. One more round." Chenle's competitive streak was burning with passion.
"Let's just pick whoever comes next, easy." Jeno piped up after awhile.
"No, no, we have to pick the person who orders an iced peach lemon tea." Chenle was insistent. "One more round, dude." So they resumed their game until they heard someone order the drink.
"Iced peach lemon tea, please." A female voice ordered which caught both of the attention. Jeno turned around to see the person who ordered the drink and raised his eyebrow as he watched you and your friend slid into the corner booth. His eyes blinked slowly and his eyebrows knitted together; there was something about you that seemed oddly familiar but he couldn't quite pinpoint it. Were you in the same class as him? No. He would've remembered seeing someone as pretty as you in his class. A party? Not that either.
"We found your girl." Chenle cackled while he rubbed his hands together like an evil maniac. "The bet officially starts now. Go ask her out."
Jeno dusted his hands off his black cargo pants, ready to get up from the chair after hours slummed in the chair, when a cashier approached Chenle. "I'm sorry but we have to ask you to leave the premise." She informed about his much needed departure.
"What?" His voice boomed throughout the gigantic, enclosed space. "For what?!"
"People have been complaining about the disruptive noise." She glanced nervously at him. "Which is you."
"I've been anything but disruptive! These bitches should mind their business!" His voice grew louder and louder without his realising it. People stared at him with a frown on their faces.
At this point, heat crawled up from Jeno's neck all the way up to his ears and he had his head down in embarrassment. "Chenle, apologise and leave." He whispered in a hushed tone to Chenle.
"No, I want to watch you ask her out." He whined to Jeno.
"Just apologise and leave. I promise I'll ask her out." Jeno lightly scolded Chenle like was a child.
"Fine, I will leave but I will not apologise for simply existing." He snagged his sunglasses on and sashayed out the door.
"Sorry about the disturbance," Jeno flashed a sheepish smile at her, only for her to return a tight smile before she went back to the counter.
Jeno sat back down again and waited for everyone's to focus on their own thing. He glanced at you and noticed that your friend had gotten up and left the place, leaving you all by yourself. He watched the way your features tightened when you read a specific part of a book and your slightly frown on your on the corner of your lips. That's when it hit him! You were the girl he pucked! He had visited you a couple of times in the hospital while you were still unconscious, you looked frail and grey on your bedside, he even met your parents who were understanding of the whole situation. Despite that, the guilt never faded and he wanted to see you and apologise in person once he heard that you woke up, but your parents informed him that you were focusing on recovering and didn't want to relive the moment - scared that it might trigger you. So, he left you alone. It was like fate had brought you back to him and not some stupid bet.
Jeno got up from his seat and went to you. "Hey, you're yn right?" he whispered softly but it caught your attention as you looked up at him.
You froze. Lee Jeno coming up to you was not a daily occurrence (more of a never occurrence). You took a quick glanced at his attire: team hoodie and black cargo pants. He has practice today. Maybe it was the combination of you noticing anything Jeno related and him being a creature of habit that you instantly knew what he was up to based on his outfit. If he wore his team hoodie with cargo pants or track pants, he had practice and if he wore a simple shirt or his leather jacket, it meant that he didn't have practice that day. "Hi," your confused tone didn't go unnoticed by him.
"You're the girl I accidentally pucked, right? I'm really sorry." He apologised sheepishly. "I'm Jeno by the way," he introduced himself to you like he wasn't one of the most well-known guys on campus and extended his hand to shake with yours.
You muffled a chuckle at his cute behaviour and shook his hand. "Yeah, I heard from my parents that you dropped by often."
"I've been meaning to get in touch with you but your parents said you were focusing on recovering." He shoved his hands in his black cargo pants as he talked. "How are you doing?"
"Well, had a raging concussion but now I'm better than ever. Even got a break thanks to you." You cracked a light joke and he chuckled in return.
"Can I treat you to a meal? As reparation for pucking you." He asked you.
"Right now?"
"If you're free. Or, any other time is fine too, just let me know."
Your heart raced at the thought of being on a one-on-one date with Jeno, even though he didn't say it was a date but whatever. Years of admiring and creeping him from afar, and sure, you've imagined countless of ways how your meet cute would be but this took a surprising turn, "now is fine," you replied.
It was a family-style restaurant with dim-lights, warm ambiance, and cozy food. It wasn't too far from campus and it was a place that you and Jeno frequented often with your respective friends. A heavy guilt settled in Jeno's chest as he watched you happily devour your food with a glint on your face. He has disappointed girls on more than one occasion, even angered them, but to his defence, he made it clear from the beginning what being with him entailed. However, using a girl for his own personal benefit, a stupid bet, was stooping too low for him. Especially a girl he accidentally concussed. With shaky hands he placed his utensils down on the table. "Listen," he braced himself, "I have something to confess."
You stopped eating midway and stared at him. Jeno had a cool exterior implanted on his face but there was a concerned look on his face that you couldn't decipher, yet, it made you anxious.
"I wasn't completely honest with you when I asked you out to dinner." He trailed off for a second before confessing, "this was a bet."
The corners of your lips frowned the slightest and the grip on your fork tightened. "I'm sorry?" You blinked a couple of times making sure your hearing wasn't impaired, "this dinner was a bet?"
"The dinner itself wasn't a bet, dating you for three months was the bet." He explained. "Bet or no bet, I wanted to treat you either way, sorry it had to be like this."
You nodded your head. "And you picked me because…?"
"It was random. Chenle dared me to ask out the person who orders an iced peach lemon tea and we have to date for three months." Jeno explained.
You snickered at the mention of Chenle, "wow, that is so Chenle."
"You know him?"
"Yeah, we're kinda like friends, I guess. He hangs out with my friends a lot."
"Mine too." You both chuckled at this while Jeno ran his hand through his soft hair. "Sorry fuck, it was shitty of me for using you like this, especially after I caused you a concussion."
"Yeah, you did." You nodded in agreement.
"I'll just pay and I won't disturb you ever again."
Jeno's honesty about the whole situation reminded you exactly why you fell for him even more. It was a couple years ago and you and a group of girls were simply having fun at a club, minding your own business, when a guy kept harassing some of the girls in your group for their phone number. He had a sleezy grin on his face and danced way too close to you guys and everytime you guys moved away, he moved even closer, following wherever you all went. You didn't even realise Jeno was also at the club with his friends, he went up to guy and practically scared the creepy dude away with his mere presence. Although he left with another girl that night, your heart fell even deeper for him. "What's the prize?" You asked as you took a bite of your food.
Jeno cocked his head to the side with a slight eyebrow raised, intrigued by your reaction. You were a stranger to him so he wasn't sure what to expect from you: hitting, kicking, or even throwing food at him."If I win, Chenle owes me 1000."
"Real money?" Your eyes widened at the amount for a stupid bet.
"Yes, direct transfer."
"And if you lose?" You followed up with a different question.
"He gets my motorbike." Jeno groaned at the thought of Chenle's grubby hands all over his bike.
"He doesn't even have a license!" You pointed out.
"That's exactly what I said!" Jeno remarked while a small corner of his lips lifted.
"So, are you going to lose your Kawasaki Ninja ZX-14R to him now? "
His eyes glinted with amusement at you name-dropping his bike, "most likely," he replied, "probably going to get it scratched or lose it before he completely abandons it at his place forever."
"Or, you can like not give it to him." You suggested. "You are physically stronger than him."
He inhaled a hissed, "a deal is a deal, doll," and a real man, according to Jeno, always lives up to his promises no matter what and it wasn't your problem to deal with but his.
"Ah," a quiet silence stretched over between the two of you as only the cluttered sounds of utensils and faint chatter from other tables filled in the background. "What if you don't have to lose it?" You stared at him right in the eye.
Jeno furrowed his eyebrows at your question. "What do you mean?"
"We can make easy money." You explained to him,"we'll pretend to date for three months, split the money, and then break up." You explained. "And you get to keep your bike and Chenle doesn't have to any know about any of this." Maybe there was a side effect of the concussion. The most logical thing you should've done was throw water in his face and walk away but somehow you weren't angry with the revelation. Disappointed? Yes. Angry? No.
"I don't get into relationships." He commented on your plan.
"I said pretend to date but ok then," you shrugged off the thought of making easy money down the drain and resumed eating your food, might as well get some reparations from him. "You alright if I order dessert?" You asked for the waiter before he even replied to your dessert question - maybe extra food too but he didn't seem to notice since he was busy cutting up his meat. Your eyes gleamed when the waiter brought over the dessert, a decadent-looking chocolate cake, which swiftly came within minutes.
On the other side of the table, Jeno was mulling your offer in his head as you happily ate your dessert; you even offered to share the chocolate cake with him but he shook his head, letting you indulge the entire thing. The proposition you offered meant that he would still win the bet and keep his bike while you get a portion of the prize money too. The more he watched you beamed while eating, the more it seemed like a compelling offer. "Let's do it." He muttered.
"Do what?" The offer no longer swirled your head as you indulged in the sweet chocolate cake.
"What you said," he clarified, "pretend to date."
"Really? You just said you don't date." You scrutinised him.
"I don't date. Like what you said, we'll pretend to date for three months, go to parties and games together, but we'll secretly see whoever we want." He proposed the plan to you.
"Won't people out you as a cheater if you hook up with other people?" You questioned him as you ate the frosting off the chocolate cake.
"Don't worry, they're not from here." He reassured you.
"Ok, that all seems fine but I'm not going to your games. Ever." You hummed in deep thought as you finished up your chocolate cake. "And! I dump you, not the other way round."
Jeno nodded once. "Sure, I don't care about the who dumped whom stuff."
"And!" You piped up one more time. "You have to star in my film assignment."
"Ahh," his body shifted awkwardly and rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. "I can't act."
"Don't worry about it," you waved off a hand, "there's no script yet but I just need you for your body." A waiter came by with your takeaway and set it on the table but her innocent eyes were wide opened and left but not without giving you and Jeno a shaky stare.
"So, I'm a prop to you?" He playfully asked you.
"Ahhh," you faked winced and touched your previously injured forehead.
Jeno knew you were playing around but he couldn't help but felt a wave of guilt when you pointed to your forehead. "Ok," he let out a reluctant sighed, "I'll do it but I warned you about my acting skills."
You stopped pretending to be hurt and instantly released a satisfactory smile at him. You extended your hand towards Jeno, "deal," your right hand suspended in the air, waiting for Jeno to shake on it.
He hesitated for a second but held onto your right hand without shaking it. "Remember, please don't fall in love with me. People want more from me even though I told them from the beginning that I don't do relationships and I don't want to hurt you a second time." Jeno said in a hushed tone as he stared at you with a determined gaze.
You pulled an easy smile that hid your true feelings for him. "Don't worry, that flew out the window the moment your puck hit my head." You smoothly lied to Jeno, your heart twisted in agony but you kept a light expression on your face.
"What's it about, anyways?" He asked.
"I'm tinkering with the idea of murder."
He cocked his head to the side. "Huh, that's different. Never expected you to do something like this."
"Well, yeah, the assignment was to explore a dark theme like addiction or drugs, really it's up to us."
"Sounds cool."
"The Professor is going to submit all of our work to this local competition and the most critically acclaimed piece, but they will also take account the amount of views from the public, will win a sponsored trip!" You excitedly told him.
A small corner of Jeno's lips lifted upwards and his eyes twinkled in amusement. "So, you're using me for clout." He leaned in closer to you.
You involuntarily moved your head back. You touched your injured spot and let out a faux winced - again. "Ahh, my head," even dropped your head down to make it realistic.
Jeno chuckled at your antics. "Are we going to go with the murder storyline?" He asked. "Am I the murderer?"
"Yeah no, I thought about it and I like the idea of murdering you, not the other way round." The same waitress came by with the check and the card machine. The machine vibrated due to her shaky hands as Jeno tapped his card on it. "Excuse me, can I have extra paper napkins please?" You politely asked the waitress; you loved collecting little knick knacks from places you visited and paste all of them in a journal - a visual diary of the mundane things in your life.
When she came back with your paper napkins, she also gave Jeno an extra one which confused him because he didn't request for one. He opened it and laughed when he saw what had been written on it.
"What's so funny?" You asked him.
He slid the paper to you. Tap on the table twice if you need help. Your jaw dropped to the floor in disbelief while Jeno continued to laughed. You both got up from your seats and before he exited the door, he stopped by the waitress who gave him the paper napkin, "thanks for being concerned about me but I'm more than fine," and left a tip for her.
The notification sound from his phone reminded him that he was running late to meet you for the filming, so he stealthily left the bed without a noise. Goodbye. He glanced one last time at her slumber figure. It happened again, just when he thought everything was going well, she confessed how she wanted more from him: a label, a relationship. And just like that, it ended.
He biked his way to the location you shared since you wanted to film outside of campus. By the time he had arrived, you were already there waiting for him and waved at him. The day before yesterday, Jeno had received the script for the assignment that he could refer to; the film will focus on Jeno's character's daily life, a popular and well-liked guy, who one day receives an anonymous love letter. The letter seemed harmless at first but the more "Jeno" ignored it, the more he felt like someone was watching his every move until his paranoia is what kills him. Shivers. Literal chills went through his bones when he read your script. It was dark and twisted, presented in an everyday life situation, a twist within a twist.
It felt nostalgic seeing him with black hair because the last time time you saw him with black hair was when you went to his first ice hockey game. Then, he dyed his hair chestnut brown, blonde for a brief period, blue when you unfortunately got hit by the puck, red, and now black. Your heart fluttered a bit when he came closer. "I like your hair," you complimented him.
"Thanks, it's been awhile," he ran his fingers through his hair.
"Yeah, I know." Your words slipped.
Jeno quirked an eyebrow at your words. "How do you know it's been awhile?" He crossed his arm with an amuse smile on him. "You like me, huh?"
"Whatever helps you sleep at night, buddy," you hissed sarcastically and patted him on the back awkwardly. Damn, he's so hard. His back muscles, ok!
Jeno bit back a smile and cleared his throat, "so, what are we going to do today?"
"We're going to be filming some scenes out of order but the main scene I want to film is you on a busy street, going to different places but you're constantly looking over your shoulders because you feel like someone is watching you but nothing is there and your paranoia is feasting inside you like a parasite," you explained the objective of today's shoot.
Jeno took a step back after you explained everything, "this is fictional, right?" His tone wavered with anxiety.
"I promise that no actors will be harmed in the making of this film." You placed your hand to your heart with a smile stitched on you.
Time flew by fast, filming one scene after another, and snack breaks in between, of course, until the sun had set. You stretched out your body since your body was aching from crouching down all day. "Thanks for today, Jeno, you did great," and gave him a thumbs up.
"As long as there's minimal talking." He cracked a joke and you lightly laughed at it.
At that moment, you received a text from your friends asking you when you were coming. Oh yeah! You were supposed to meet them at the food festival on campus tonight. "I gotta go back now, my friends are waiting for me." You told Jeno.
"Alright," he shuffled his feet against the asphalt road, "how are you going back by the way?"
"I'll take the bus if there's time or take the cab if I'm in a pinch." You zipped up the camera in its bag and double checked just to make sure everything was in there.
"Or, I can drop you off." Jeno offered.
"You came here with your bike, right?"
"Yeah, and it's faster if we go back with it," he gestured to his monstrous vehicle and buckled in his helmet.
Pre-injured you would've immediately hopped on without a second thought because no way were you going to turn down a fun ride on a cool motorbike. However, post-injured you discovered how difficult it was to recover from an injury and motorbikes were notorious for it. "I'm not getting on that gigantic thing without a helmet," you remarked.
"Oh, wait." Jeno took out a spare helmet beneath the seat of the bike and placed it on your head. "Ah, this is not going to work," he knocked the side of the helmet and it wobbled over your head, "it's too big."
You removed the helmet off your head, "it's fine, I'll take a cab."
"Nonsense," he took the helmet back and laid it back in its place and then started measured the circumference of your head with his fingers. "I'll get crucified if people found out you went back yourself at night when I'm right here, you know, now that we're fake dating."
"Uhhh, what are you doing?" A bit confused with his random action.
"Measuring the circumference of your head." Once he measured your head, he noted it down on his phone, "wait here," and left with his bike but came back within ten minutes.
"That was fast," you were surprised at the speed he left and came back.
"Yeah, the shop's nearby." He took out another, smaller helmet this time that was identical to his. It was black and, this time, it fitted your head perfectly; he knocked his knuckles on the side of the helmet and smiled. "Perfect, now your head's protected."
You wobbled your head side to side and the helmet stayed perfectly intact. "Thanks!"
"Oh, shit." He realised, "I should've asked you what colour you wanted instead of buying black like mine."
You laughed at him. "It's ok, it's cute. It could be our couple's item." You reassured him.
Jeno's heart skipped a beat at your statement. "Ok, let's go," he gave you a handsome smile. He straddled in the front and patted the backseat for you. "Sit here."
You took a deep breath and position yourself behind him on the edge of the seat, with a respectable distance from him and placed your hands on his shoulders. "Ok, I'm ready!"
"It's safer if you hold onto me." He remarked.
"I'm good." You patted his shoulders. "Let's go!"
He cranked his head to the side, "suit yourself then." Jeno hit the pedal harder than he normally does so the bike jerked, and you ended up slipping forward right behind him - your chest pressed against his wide back. "You good?" He asked.
"Yeah," you held onto the sides of his jacket with a steady hold. "Ride safely."
At first, Jeno rode the bike at a slow pace, for him but not for you, he eventually got onto the highway as a shortcut to go back to campus, and that was when you wrapped your hands around Jeno's waist and felt his hard abs even beneath all the layers of clothing. He drove faster than usual and a sly, victorious smirk appeared when he felt you hugging him tighter.
People knew when Jeno was around because his bike was loud and people naturally looked at him. So, imagine the surprise on everyone's face when they realised, a girl, was getting off Jeno's motorbike - a never seen before phenomenon.
"What-" Ryujin watched you get off Jeno's motorbike at a food festival on campus ground.
"The-" Yeji's eyes widened and her jaw dropped when she realised it was you with Lee Jeno.
"Fuck." Haechan muttered with his mouth full of corndog.
All three of them froze when Jeno took off your helmet first before he did his. "Hey guys! How's the food so far?" You cheerily greeted Ryujin and Yeji like nothing unusual was happening.
"What the fuck is happening here?" Haechan spoke clearly now that his corndog was all chewed up.
You tilted your head at Haechan with a nonchalant expression, "what?"
"This!" Ryujin made weird gestures with her that was directed at you and Jeno.
"Is this why you were late?" Yeji side-eyed Jeno.
"Yeah, he was helping me film."
"Oh," Haechan smirked, "what kind of filming?"
"It's for an assignment." Jeno rolled his eyes at Haechan's obvious sexual innuendo.
"That's how most of my favourite videos start of," Haechan suggestively commented, which pissed Jeno off because the nature of your relationship was far from that, in a quick swift, Jeno headlocked Haechan with his arm until Haechan tapped out and apologised. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Jeno released him while Haechan coughed out a choked, gasping for air.
"Is that it?" Ryujin asked you.
You glanced at Jeno before you answered her question, "he's also my boyfriend," and wrapped your hand around his bicep.
"What!" All three of them yelled out at the same time in a disastrous panic full of questions and rage.
"You didn't tell us anything!" Ryujin and Yeji whined and kept on asking questions.
Haechan reacted the same way, "but you don't do relationships, what the fuck!" He pointed out to Jeno. "Is this some sort of dare? If yes, where do I sign up? This shit would be easy money to make."
You and Jeno gave each other a knowing look, and didn't even get a chance to respond to any of the questions because another friend of yours, Wonjin, came back with some fried food and some of Jeno's other friends from the hockey team showed up - unaware of the commotion you both caused.
"Hey, what's happening?" Wonjin asked as he took a bite of his langos.
"They're dating," Yeji replied.
"You guys are dating?! Sungchan piped up instead of Wonjin.
"Since when?" Serim asked with eyes that popped out his socket.
"Dude, are you being for real?" Mark asked while everyone else huddled up even closer to you both, waiting patiently for his answer.
"Yes," Jeno replied in a simple tone.
"I don't trust you, Lee Jeno." Wonjin shook his head as he pointed his finger at him.
"Make her cry and I'll cut your balls off." Ryujin threatened with neck slice motion.
"But you ghost girls after they confess their feelings to you!" Serim pointed out in agony.
"The concussion got to her." Yeji commented while she fawned all over you. "You hypnotized her when she was in a coma."
"No, I don't trust any of this." Sungchan crossed his arms.
"It's super, super, sus." Mark repeated in disbelief. "Like, super sus. Super."
Small beads of sweat clamped up in the palm of Jeno's hands when one of them asked how and when they started dating. It hadn't been that long since your first "date" and you had never discussed your backstory. Jeno glanced down at you and interlocked his hands with yours. "It's real, we went out on a date." The tone of his voice was not convincing anyone, including you.
"Yeah, it's all still very new but we are dating." You added on. "We started texting each other after I recovered and then he asked me out on a date and here we are."
A collective sound of ah's and ooh's chorused within the group, even Jeno was impressed with your quick coverup.
"Why didn't you tell us earlier that you were talking to him?" Wonjin asked you.
"Because it was nothing, and all of a sudden it was something." You shrugged.
"You owe us a detail story later ," Ryujin remarked, "and my threat still remains!" She pointed her fingers at him.
"Can we go eat now or what? I'm over this." Haechan complained and everyone agreed to it.
"We're going to steal her for now," Yeji hooked her arm with yours and pulled you away from Jeno, "you will always be second priority, Lee Jeno."
You flashed a mischious grin when a bright idea popped in your head, "Jeno, is it ok if I order fries?" You asked him in a sweet voice.
"Is it ok if you order fries?" Yeji repeated after you and gave a menacing stare to Jeno.
"Shit," Haechan raised his hand, "I didn't know you were controlling like that."
"We don't fuck with him like that." Sungchan made an "X" sign with his arms.
"What a control freak," Serim commented.
Sweats ran down the sides of his temples and his hands became even clammier over this random accusation. "I'm not! You can have all the fries you want!" Jeno uttered out in a panic.
"Wow, so now you don't care about her sodium intake." Wonjin sighed.
"She just recovered from a head injury which you caused. What sick kind of behaviour is this?" Haechan remarked.
"You don't care for her fucking health!" Mark cried out.
Their scolding and angry voices drowned out of Jeno's ears when he caught your eyes staring at him and watched how you were failing miserably trying to hold back a laughter. Oh, you were trouble.
Rumours floated around on campus that the Lee Jeno, who was infamous for rejecting relationship advances, happened to be in one. People had seen you and Jeno walk around on campus or on "dates" but everyone brushed it off thinking it wasn't real or it was temporary. Especially since you had never shown up to any of his games - classic 101 girlfriend support.
So imagine the surprised or shocked looks on everyone's faces when you walked into the party with Jeno's hand on your back, guiding you through the crowded house, the ice hockey team's house - cementing the fact that you were in fact dating. Some even gave you nods of approval or dapped you up for locking the Jeno Lee down. Being with a popular person like Jeno meant that people would often come up to him just to say hi or make small talk and he never ignored any of them; being his girlfriend meant that you also received a similar treatment.
"There's the man of the hour!" Someone shouted as Jeno and you entered a room in the house that was slightly secluded from the loud music where everybody danced.
"My man makes history shooting the last shot in the last second!" Another one hollered.
"Pew, pew, pew." Some other guy threw Jeno a bro fist.
"Yo! Come join our game." Mark yelled out. There were a quite a few people gathered in a circle including: Haechan, Serim, Mark, Chenle, and Sungchan.
You took a seat first on the floor next to Chaeryeong and Jeno followed suit but Haechan called him out on it. "No couples next to each other!" and pointed him to a different seat beside Sungchan.
Chenle didn't missed the way Jeno frowned when he had to changed seats. "We're going to play Spin the Bottle, and instead of Truth or Dare which has been done to death, it's the Whisper Game." Chenle explained.
"The Whisper Game?" You whispered to Chaeryeong.
"Yup, it's just like Spin the Bottle and whoever the bottle points to, the person can whisper their question and your answer has to be someone within the circle." Chaeryeong explained. "If other people want to know what the question was, they have to take a shot."
"No boring questions or you're out of the game!" Haechan reminded everyone. "Let's gets drunk!" Everyone cheered and Serim spun the bottle first. It started off with easy questions and then it became more intense with secrets revealed or silly pent up emotions from someone else; either way, some people asked you questions, you asked other people questions, and you drank to a lot of it.
It was Chenle's turn to spin the bottle and it landed on you. At this point, your eyes were hazy, barely holding it open, and your sentence slurred with each word. Chenle went up to you and whispered his question, "who has the biggest dick?" Without hesitation, you pointed to Jeno.
"I'm drinking!" Sungchan took a shot,
"Me too!" Chaeryeong shouted.
Soon, the entire circle, including Jeno, had taken a shot so Chenle had to reveal the question. "The question was who has the biggest dick?"
"His 9-inch-dick!" You yelled out loud with a proud smile on your face but you were barely holding yourself together because your mind was so inebriated. "It's so huge and pretty…like," you widened the gap between your hands till it was around nine inches long and giggled to yourself, "this big."
Everyone laughed, hooted, or hollered at this and Jeno's ears were undeniably pink from all the attention. He watched how your head fell over Chaeryeong's shoulder and decided it was time to call it quits for the night. He got up from his seat and crouched down beside you who was still leaning on Chaeryeong's shoulder. "Do you wanna go now?" He tucked a lock of hair behind your ear and spoke only loud enough for you to hear. The only response he got from you was a low hummed followed by an indecipherable sentence and took it as a cue to end the night.
"We're calling it in, thanks guys." He wrapped one hand behind your back and the other below your knees and lifted you off the ground.
"Boooooooo!" Haechan and everyone else chorused when Jeno carried
Jeno made his way upstairs to his bedroom and laid you down carefully on his bed. He had planned to pull over the blanket on you but you started muttering utter nonsense.
"Jeno," you whined drunkenly and touched his dick over his jeans. "Let me have it, please," and palmed over him.
"W-what?" He was flustered at your sudden behaviour and dropped the blanket down.
With clumsy hands but a desperate attitude, you unbuckled his belt with such ease for who a person who was not sober. "Just once, please." You pleaded while Jeno held your wrist together.
"N-no." He stuttered and held you down with zero strength from him.
"Please," you cried as you rubbed your face against his cloth dick that was slowly growing hard under your touch.
"No." He had to be more firm with you. You presented yourself with puppy-dog eyes which pulled a tug in Jeno's heart but he still shook his head.
"Fine," you frowned with your head down and he withdrew his hand from your wrist, relief that the worst was over. Or so he thought. Once your wrist was free from his restraint, you pulled down his jeans and boxer at the same time and his cock stuck out halfway because he stopped you once again. You cried at his restrained, "no fun," you pouted against his dick.
Jeno groaned as he tilted his head back; his first instinct was to grind against your face but resisted the urge because of you were clearly not sober. His cock grew harder, and you whining against it, wasn't making it easier for him. "No." He grunted and pulled you off him. The boxer and jeans was immediately pulled back up again but he hissed as his raging cock came in contact with the rough denim. You were still whining and crying at the lost warm contact of Jeno's touch and in desperate need, you pulled down your tube top and kneaded it. "Please, Jeno."
Fuck, you had the most perfect pair of tits he had ever seen in his life. Saliva drooled out just a little before he felt the insane guilt for watching you like this when you were drunk. His boner was now rock hard but he turned around and closed his eyes. He grabbed a hoodie of his and with his eyes closed, headed towards to put it on you but not without you putting up a fight.
"Don't want it, Jenoneno," you whined but Jeno won when the hoodie went through your head, he sighed a huge breath of relief; this was for your own good and his. He tucked you in like a burrito so you couldn't escape, it was for both of your own good.
You pouted at him. " 'jus wanted," you yawned mid sentence and your eyes fluttered closed, "your big dick." You were fast asleep.
Jeno eyes glinted with amusement as he silently chuckled. He tucked in a lock of hair that strayed to the front and with a gentle touch, softly grazed against the injured spot - a very small scar was visible. "Next time," he whispered.
There was a raging headache that pulsed through your head when you opened your eyes to a blurry vision. Your head throbbed from the pain but you let it passed until your vision unblurred itself to your surrounding; there was a computer on the desk at the end of the bed, a black helmet on the side table, and random equipments here and there.
A muffled grunt came out from beneath the blanket on the other bed across from yours. A familiar mop of black hair peeked out from it but the rest of the face was still covered with the blanket. You couldn't be bothered to figure out who it was this early in the morning and focused on the sweat that had uncomfortably accumulated on your body when you realised you were wearing a hoodie that was not yours. "Whose hoodie am I wearing?" You muttered to yourself as you tried to remember events before the game but only a dark and blank image came up.
"It's my hoodie," Jeno responded in a raspy voice and lazily pulled down the blanket to reveal his face.
"Jeno?" You asked, "where am I?"
"My room." He replied while sitting up straight on the bed, "and Sungchan's but I have no idea where he is." He looked at you for the first time and chuckled to himself.
You furrowed your eyebrows at him, "why are you laughing?"
"Nothing." He denied with a faint smile.
"Listen, did I," you took a deep breath, "do anything weird last night? I seriously don't remember anything after we started playing."
He paused for a second and then answered. "Nope, you just passed out." His eyes glinted with a playful look. "Except, you did call me Jenoneno."
Your eyes widened as you covered your mouth in a gasped. That was your personal nickname for him! Your inner thoughts slipped out while you were drunk! "And that's it right?" You laughed nervously, waiting for his response.
"Yeah, that's it." He nodded at you and you let out a breath of relieved. "Do you want water by the way?"
"Yeah, that sounds nice."
Jeno got up from the bed, still in the same outfit as last night's and searched for an unopened water bottle but only found empty cans of energy drinks that he should've thrown out a couple days ago. "Sorry, there's none here. Be right back," he stopped just as he was about to exit the room, "oh, the bathroom's here if you wanna use it, and don't worry, it's clean," he exited out the room and closed the door.
You stretched out your limbs one more time over the bed before you made your way to the bathroom. Jenoneno. Jenoneno. Jenoneno. It echoed in your mind a million times while you washed your face with water over the sink. The realisation hit you as you turned off the tap, all the memories flooded back to you: you against his dick, pulling his pants down, and flashing your boobs at him. No wonder he put a hoodie on you. He was saving you from embarrassment! You could literally die from embarrassment right there and then. Gosh, you didn't even liked drinking but the atmosphere got you too carried away.
You came out of the bathroom and thought about escaping through the window but Jeno came back with a water bottle and a singular banana in his hand. Darn it! Plan down the drain.
"Do you want to go out for breakfast?" He handed the items to you. "I would've made you something but the kitchen's a mess."
"Thanks," you muttered as you accepted it. "And no, I just want to go back to my room."
"Ok, I'll drop you off." He grabbed his keys and helmet off the table and headed out the door but you stopped him.
"N-no. I can go back by myself." You stuttered.
"Are you sure?" He cocked his head, "it's not a problem for me. I have to go out either way."
"Ye-yeah, I wanna walk by myself, you know, enjoy nature and all." You explained to him with a nervous tone underneath your voice.
"O-kay," personally, he would've preferred to go with you, especially since you didn't seem like you were in peaked condition but he respected your wish at the end of the day. "I'll see you off at the door, then."
"No!" The tone of your voice accidentally went an octave higher. "You stay here, I'll go." You handed back the banana and water bottle to him.
Jeno pinched his eyebrows together at your actions. "Umm, I'll just see you at the do-"
"No. Please stay." He looked like a confused dog with the way you were talking to him. He wasn't offended or anything - simply confused. You stepped forward and so did Jeno but you really couldn't face him right now. "Stay." You stopped him from following you. "Please."
"The do-"
"Stay." You walked backwards as you made sure Jeno was planted in the same spot. "Good boy." And with that, you ran out the house the moment you exited the door while Jeno watched you from the window.
"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked as he walked alongside you to the next location for the video - the campus garden. Even though he often felt awkward in front of the camera, your presence behind the camera and your constant encouragement gave him confidence and comfort to "act" in front of the lens. However, you were acting so differently today, almost as if you were avoiding him.
"I'm not." Your speed fastened up a bit when you felt his presence close to you. You absolutely were avoiding him. It took you a great strength of courage and screaming into your pillows before you dragged yourself to meet Jeno. "Ok, lighting seems good here." You played around with the camera and looked through the camera's viewfinder instead of him.
"You're still doing it." He teased you, seeing right through your facade. "Is this about yesterday?" He asked you.
"N-no. Ok, so now we're going to do the scene where yo-"
"yn," he pleaded in a serious tone that you've never heard before and gazed you with a sincere look in his eyes.
You smacked your dry lips and lowered down the camera, timidly nodded with an apologetic look on your face. "I'm sorry for harassing you like that. I don't know what I was thinking." You finally gained the courage to look at him in the eye.
He let out a hearty laughed and slung an arm around your shoulder, "it's fine, we all do stupid shit when we're drunk." He lifted your chin with a touch of his thumb when he noticed how quiet and sullen your face looked. "There was also a time when I got so drunk that I stole a kitten from its mommy and the next day she showed up and scratched me up real bad." He showed you the a small scar on his arm that was still visible.
"That's a cute story not an embarrassing one." Your lips jutted out just a bit.
He unslunged his arm from your shoulder and took your hands in his, tracing soft patterns on it. "There was a time we got so drunk that we trespassed a property to skinny dip in someone's house while they were having dinner."
"What?! Did they call the police or what?" You gasped in shocked at this revelation.
"Yeah they called the police on us," he laughed, "but jokes on them cause the police squad that they dispatched, coincidentally, ended up being my brother."
You snickered at his story, "that's a funny story, not an embarrassing one," and playfully rolled your eyes at him.
He hissed in a breath and held your hands even tighter in his, "we promised to take this to our graves but there was a time I was so shit drunk that I peed on Haechan."
"What?!" You screeched and scowled and moved his hands away from yours face "Ewwww, don't touch me."
"That was a long time ago!" He pointed out and tried to reach for your hands but you swatted him away.
"Don't touch me," you avoided his touch but he kept trying to grab it just to annoy you because of a grin on his face, so you ran away far away from him.
Jeno merely jogged behind you, "come back here. That's why I stopped drinking heavily!"
"Stay away from me." Although you tried to run as fast as possible, your speed was no match compared to Jeno's, a literal athlete, because he effortlessly caught up to you and tackled you on the ground within seconds. "No, no, disgusting, ew." You cried as he pinned you down on the dry grass.
"Shh, don't say that," his eyes widened and he placed a hand over your mouth, "people are going to get the wrong idea," and removed his hand from your lips. You realised that you were both in a compromising position since he hovered above you with knees straddled on either side of your body and his face was inches away from yours; his pupils dilated when you drowned in his eyes, you followed the movement of his gaze where it dropped down to your lips and back again to your eyes. Your heart skipped a beat.
There was another secret that you had kept to yourself; there were days when your feelings for Jeno is so intense and the only way to let them out of their bubble was to write them down in your Jeno journal. It was a small, black notebook that fits into the palm of your hands, very safe and unassuming to an outsider's eye. You bring that little notebook everywhere with you, though there was a possibility of you losing it somewhere one day, at least you didn't write down his address and have someone mail it to him, that would be embarrassing. He was the only crush of yours that made it into your book.
Today was one of those days. You had just finished your violin practice with your club, which always left your neck strained and sore and even a little hickey on your neck from the long practice. You and Jeno had met up with your friends who were still skeptical of Jeno's intention with you so they grilled him to the bones but he answered everything with such ease that you almost believed that everything was real. The little subtle way that he touches you and takes care of you made your heart race but the moment it was just the two of you, the fantasy disperses because he casually mentioned that he had to leave and meet up with someone. That was the reality of your arrangement.
Your fingers flew across the page, word by word, when a knock on the door interrupted your trope of writing. You got up from the chair, thinking it was Ryujin who forgot to bring her key again but it was Jeno who stood at your door. "Jeno? Hi." You couldn't hide the surprise in your voice. "What are you doing here?"
"You accidentally left your water bottle with me." He handed you the item.
"Oh," wow, no wonder you felt parched even after drinking your iced peach lemon tea the entire day, "thanks Jeno, I needed it."
Jeno stood still at the doorway, observing the state of your room which was a lot more spacious than the average dorm room: the big lights were switched off, only your fairy lights, small lamp, and candles lit up the room in a warm embrace, a mini plant whose leaves gravitated towards the ground and another bed across from yours. "You have a cozy room. Who's your roommate?" He pointed to the bed.
"Thanks! It's Ryujin's but she's out right now."
"On the first floor? Damn, that's hard to get." Jeno knew that if he wasn't part of the ice hockey team, it would be difficult to get a spacious room like yours, especially if it was on the first floor.
"Yeah, they offered it to me when I came back in exchange of, you know, the possibility of not suing them." You explained the situation to him.
He laughed. "That's a pretty good trade."
"Eh, probably should've sued." You shrugged casually.
He looked around some more and noticed your pinboard that he could see from where he stood. There were polaroid pictures of you with your friends and family over the years with little tickets that decorated the board and he even recognised some mutual friends on your board like Chenle. One particular poloroid picture that stood out to him amidst the sea of them was the ice arena that was practically his second home; there was Yeji, Ryujin, Wonjin, Taerae, Chenle, and some other people he didn't recognised, and you, smiling brightly at the camera. He could tell this was taken way before you had even gotten pucked based on Chenle's blonde hair. There was a hollow heart ache that settled in his chest and a question that drummed in his mind, why hasn't he seen you before? There were a couple of other pictures of you at the ice arena but he could not believe he had never met you till you were pucked. A silent want to belong there. "You've been to quite a few of my games," he chuckled as he pointed it out.
"Yeah," you noticed his eyes were also looking around at your desk, where you left your Jeno journal out in the open, so you stealthily snapped it shut. Whew. "Dragged by friends for the experience or what not." Truth be told, you had never minded being dragged to his games even though you pretended to be against it, saying it was boring or just not your thing. You liked watching Jeno play and part of the reason you took plenty of poloroid pictures at his games was because you wanted a picture with him. He was always there in the background even though it was hard to see because he was far away but you knew and that was all you needed. You've seen girls going up to Jeno asking for pictures and he was always so sweet and never said no, you even contemplated asking for one too but felt too embarrassed because you were with your friends and you knew they wouldn't live it down. Just then, your tummy grumbled loudly on cue.
He chuckled at the sound of it. "You hungry?"
"Yeah, just one of those days. I'm probably going to make ramen after this." Even though it was the least appetising food that sounded right now.
"You wanna go out?" He asked you out of nowhere.
"This late at night?"
"There's a diner-style restaurant that's open nearby," he said, "they have really good burgers and milkshakes."
"You had me at milkshakes," already slipping on your hoodie that hung on the back of your chair.
"That was the last thing I said." He pointed out.
There was a natural routine that fell into place now that you often ride his bike with him: he helps you with your helmet then he does his, and you jump to the back while he's at the front and tightly hug around his waist before he motors off.
It was a short ride to the 24/7, diner-style restaurant, 90's Love. You had no idea how you missed this place because it had bright neon lights right in front of it - sometimes you miss the things that are right in front of you. You ordered their signature combo burger with loaded fries and strawberry milkshake while Jeno got a double-double burger for that extra protein and a coke.
"The burger is so good," you moaned in contentment as you chewed down another bite of the juicy burger. "The milkshake too!" You took turns sipping the strawberry milkshake and taking a bite out of the burger, a perfect combination.
"And the loaded fries," he stuffed a couple of fries, that was in between the two of you since you sat side by side in the booth so you both decided to share, down his mouth.
"Ooh, haven't tried the fries yet," you took a couple and copied him, "oh, that's good," you beamed happily.
"Got a little sauce on you," he wiped the sauce on the corner of your lip with his bare thumb and sucked the remnants of it before he went back to his burger.
Your heart throbbed at his casual yet intimate display of contact, now incredibly conscious of how close you were together, he probably does it for other people too. "I don't know if it's true or not," you said in between your bites, "but I heard Prof Sooyoung and your coach were a thing back in the day."
Jeno swallowed his bite. "Oh, they were. I think Haechan said that…" the rest of the night was filled with gossips, anecdotes and small laughers shared between the two of you with you gasping and lightly hitting him on the arm
"The last fry," you picked up the singular fry and waved it like a trophy, "you should have the honour because you just introduced me to my new favourite place."
"Wow, this is such an honour," a light sarcastic remarked from Jeno.
"Here you go," you held it in front of him but he didn't take it from you.
He looked at the golden fry and then at you, "feed it to me," his signature eye smile twinkled.
You playfully rolled your eyes, but you let him take the bite from your hand and he did it without dropping his eye contact on you. There was a beat of silence in the thickened air - and it wasn't just the smell of grease - you cleared your throat, "I need to wash my hands," and got up to go to the bathroom. There were no tissues inside the bathroom so you left your hands wet, because let's be real, you would rather have wet hands than use the hand dryer, ew.
Jeno washed his hands in the bathroom but he just wiped them on his pants. He noticed your wet hands and got up from his seat, "be right back," he went up to the counter and grabbed a couple of tissues.
"Hey Jeno," a guy entered with a couple of his friends dapped Jeno up. "What are you doing here?"
"Hey, just grabbing a late night meal with my girlfriend." Oh. The word was foreign to him but he didn't hate the way it came out of him. Jeno reciprocated the handshake, it took him a second but he recognised that the person as the guy who occasionally plays basketball with Chenle and he had asked Jeno to be his model for his portrait back then but Jeno turned it down because Chenle asked him first. "How about you, Keeho?"
"Yeah, fresh off the court," he imitated a whooshing sound and threw an invisible basketball in front of him, "yo, can I ask you something?"
"Sure."
"Can you be in my film assignment?"
"Sorry Keeho, yn already asked first." Jeno apologised apathetically.
"Oh." Keeho glanced at you who was sitting at the booth by yourself, "ok."
"See you around Keeho," and Jeno left with a stack of tissues in his hands and went to you. Without a word, he took your damp hands and wiped them with gentle care. You sat there wordlessly but let Jeno do his thing. "All done," a faint smile spread on his lips.
"Tha-thank you, Jeno." A bit embarrassed and shy that Jeno did that for you despite the fact that you were more than capable of doing it. "I could've done it myself."
"Yeah, but I wanted to do it," he hummed.
At that moment, Keeho and some of the other guys walked by with a gigantic bowl of delicious ice cream. Your mouth salivated at the sweet assortments on it even though you already had your milkshake. "Do you want dessert?"
"Not really into sweets but we can if you want." Jeno replied.
"Oh," the corner of your lips frowned at his response. "No, I don't want it."
"Are you sure?" Jeno asked as he saw the visible changed in your mood.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go back." The sparkling night sky blanketed the deserted parking lot with only a couple of dimly lit streetlights that decorated the lot. Jeno's humongous yet sleek motorbike shone under one of the streetlight and curiosity got the better of you. "Can you teach me how to ride your motorbike?"
He hissed at your question, "this bike is not exactly beginner friendly."
"Oh, please!" You put your hands together and begged him but he still shook his head. Then, you grabbed his hands and swung it side to side. "Please, please, please?" You fluttered your eyes at him.
He gulped his throat at your insistence and his heart skipped a beat, almost persuaded by your swaying. "No, it could be dangerous."
"Please, the parking lot is empty," you begged some more.
"Still, the bike-" He laced your hands in his and circled patterns on it.
You frowned in disappointment and tried to let go of his hands but he held onto it. "Fine then, I guess getting hit in the head was good enough." You touched your head and winced out a fake pain.
He laughed, "how long are you going to milk this?"
"Till you teach me how to ride your bike."
"Fine then," he admitted defeat and you cheered, "you're lucky you're pretty," he whispered to himself. "But you have to listen to me, it's for your own good," he reminded you in a " I mean business" voice.
"Sir, yes sir," you saluted Jeno with an upright body.
He playfully rolled his eyes at you. "Ok, helmet first no matter." He put on the protective gear on you and tightened it up. "Now, we can start."
Without a second to spare, you huddled in the front while Jeno stood to the side and started the engine. "This is brake and this is the accelarator,"and showed the two different handles on either side of the bar. "Pull down on this clutch and place your foot on the shifter," he gently directed your limbs to where you needed to go. "Just give the accelerator a bit of a boost and lean in the direction you want to go, like riding a bike, got that?" He asked you.
"Got it." You gave him a thumbs up, nervous yet excited to drive the exotic vehicle.
"Be careful, ok?" He asked you once more before he let go.
"Ok, here I go." The motorbike moved at a snail's pace and the motorbike jerked when you gave it a boost but you kept on going like Jeno said, "ah!"
"You're good, just keep on going!" It was a freeing feeling to be one with the wind!
"Don't go too fast!" Jeno reminded as he watched you go in circles in the empty parking lot.
You felt more confident with the motorbike and boosted it faster around the empty parking lot. "This is so much fun!" You smiled happily when you felt the cold breeze against your face. "How do I stop?"
"Slow down and come to me." He guided you towards him and you followed his directions. Once you were near him, Jeno shifted the gears and switched off the engine for you. "How was it?"
"Exhilarating!" You commented with a bright beamed on your face. "Can I drive back?" There was a glow of excitement on your face. "I think I can handle this."
"Babe, you don't have a license and I'm not about to get in trouble for this." You frowned but Jeno gave in when he saw your sullen expression. "Fine, maybe when we're on campus and near the dorm, then you can drive." Jeno took over the front seat as you scooted to the back and hugged his waist in a tight embrace - you were his backpack.
There was a new profound appreciation now that you knew how challenging it was to ride a motorbike and how Jeno effortlessly slips inbetween cars and traffic. Just as Jeno promised, once your dorm building was within your viewshot, you took over while Jeno sat at the back. Your stomach flipped when Jeno pulled you into his embrace from the back. "First time in this position," he commented. You recalled his earlier lesson and drove back to your dorm, more confident and smoother than your first time.
"We're here princess." You joked and stopped the vehicle in front of your dorm building, Jeno switched off the engine from behind you and kicked the stand into place.
Jeno got off from the bike first and then lifted you off the motorbike with one hand. "Thank you for driving me home," he played along and his eyes twinkled as he took off the helmet for you, his fingers lingering a second too long on your hair.
There was something missing in all the videos you've shot; you compiled all the footages you've made so far and organised them in chronological order according to your script on your laptop. Your fingers tapped on the table as you watched the videos one more time. It was good so far but there was no umph element to capture the audience's interest. You groaned out loud in the empty dorm room by yourself.
It was a Friday night, meaning Jeno had another match tonight. Sungchan's girlfriend, Shuhua, had invited you to sit join and watch the game with them, only to be met with a disappointed yet understanding sighed when you said you were never going to any of his games ever again. Even your friends including Ryujin and Yeji went out to watch the game tonight. You checked the time and the tournament hadn't started yet so you called him on your phone and waited for him to pick up the call. Even though you've never been to any of his games ever since you two became a "couple," you fell into a natural routine of texting or calling him before he started his game to wish him luck.
The phone rang a couple of times, "hey," he spoke a little bit out of breath, presumably just finished warm up.
"Hey! Is the game starting soon?" Your tone naturally perked up brighter upon hearing his voice.
"Soon. Was just warming up." The rhythm of his tone went back to normal. "Why? Are you coming?" He asked in a hopeful tone.
"Hmm, no, I'm not coming. I have to review the footage we have so far." Your tone was slightly down.
What's wrong?" He noticed your sullen tone over the phone. "Do we need to reshoot anything? I can squeeze sometime next week." He offered without even you asking for it.
"No, the scenes are perfect." You exhaled an exhausted sigh. "But somethings missing, there's no hook to reel people in." You placed your head down sideways on your desk and laid your phone on your ear.
"Well, what are others doing for their hook?" Even though his voice was still audible, the chatter and hollering in the background grew louder.
"My friend's doing something with toxic love so she's hooking them in with a makeout session."
"Well, sex always sells." He absentmindedly commented.
You lifted your head off the desk and held your phone in your hand again as an idea popped in your head when Jeno said that. "Jeno, can I see you after the game?" You asked in the sweetest voice you could muster.
"Uhm, sure, I'll drop by after the ga-" He answered with a bit of uncertainty since you had never asked to see him right after the game.
"No, I'll come to you!" You quickly inserted. "Please don't change out of your uniform by the way."
"Don't change out of my uniform?" Jeno was puzzled with your request but it seemed simple and innocent enough.
"Yes! Good luck Jeno!" You wished him luck.
You couldn't tell but he had a smile on his face. "Thanks, see you after the game."
From your previous experiences of going to a hockey game, you knew how long a game took and how much longer for the audience to dispersed from the arena, so you timed it perfectly that by the time you arrived at the arena, you only saw Jeno who lazily drifted the puck with his stick by himself.
"Is it safe for me to come in?" You barely raised your voice but the empty arena echoed your question.
All you heard was a hearty laughter from him, "yeah, come on in, babe." The casual mentioned of the pet name when no one was around made butterflies swirled around in your tummy. Oh, this was so going in the diary. You descended down the metal stairs of the arena until you reached Jeno who was still in his stakes on the ice rink. The stick and puck were safely tucked away, only him and the goal post were on the frozen ground.
"Hi! How was the game?" You greeted him from the dry area.
"It was good, we won." He greeted you with his signature eye smile, "also hi." He took your hand with his gloved one and carefully held onto it. You were face to face with each other and could see his drenched, flat hair and sweat that dripped on his temples; a complete contrast to your sweat-free appearance. A comfortable stretched over the atmosphere but you grew shyer when you felt Jeno's never ending intense gaze on you.
"Is the locker room empty by the way?" You asked to direct your shyness somewhere else.
"The locker room?" Jeno tilted his head to the side because he was still unsure of your plans.
"Yeah, I wanna film in the locker room."
"Oh, ok, sure, the boys are changing though." He replied without wavering his eye contact on you. "Give it a couple of minutes, they'll leave. Do you want to skate while we wait?" He asked with a hint of excitement in his tone.
"Sure, but it's been so long since I last skated." You nodded your head at him.
He chuckled as he got off from the icy floor to the dry, may area with his skates on and grabbed an extra pair of skates from behind one of the chairs. Then, he walked back to you and guided you to the chair. Even though he was still padded up with all his gear, with much difficulty, he bent down on one knee and laced up the pair of ice skates on you. "All done," he beamed up at you with an eye smile on his face.
You held onto Jeno's hand while you cautiously stepped on the frozen ground. The sharpness of the blade slipped, which made you wobbled but you were holding onto Jeno so you didn't fall. Jeno took off his gloves and dumped it somewhere, he then grabbed your cold, soft hands with his warm ones and skated backwards. The skates on your feet glided with ease as he dragged you around the rink with two hands; your feet grew familiar with the rhythm of the skates and you eventually let go of Jeno's hands and glided on your own. "I'm doing it!" You cheered brightly and Jeno mirroed the same smile as he continued skating backwards.
"Show off," you teased him when he effortlessly skated in circles around you while you skated at a slow pace.
Jeno simply laughed and continued to prey around you. "Let's race," he whispered beside your ear which left a tingling sensation in your body.
"Wanna bet?" You confidently proposed.
"Loser buys winner a drink?" He suggested.
"Deal, give me a head start." You weren't going to back down from a race even though it was your first time skating in forever.
"Is ten seconds good enough?" He positioned himself beside you.
"More than enough to beat you." You replied with a cocky attitude and steadied yourself next to him.
"From this end to the goalpost," he pointed to the goalpost on the other side of the rink.
"Got it." The distance was doable enough for you and you had deluded yourself into thinking you might even win because Jeno was giving you a head start.
"Ready, set, go." His skates were planted to the ice whereas you instantly dashed off from your starting position.
"One," Jeno counted down the seconds till it was his turn to dash off.
"Two," shoot! You weren't even a quarter way from your initial position - your pace was slower than you intended.
"Three," you gradually gained traction and you were skating with the ice and not against it.
"Four," almost halfway there! You looked back and Jeno had a proud smile with his eyebrows raised at you.
"Five," halfway there! You were practically gliding and tried to keep up with the momentum.
"Six," the goalpost was now clearer in view.
"Seven," you attempted to slow down your skates but was too scared at the speed you were going. Should've learned how to stop first!
"Eight," your eyes widened when you saw just how close the the metal goalpost was and tried to stop the skates like you've seen the way players do it but failed to replicate it and your knees wobbled.
"Nin-shit," Jeno finally caught on that you were most likely going to crash into the metal goalpost at the speed you were going, and he wasn't going to let you injure yourself under his watch, not again, and zoomed towards you within milliseconds, snatched you by the waist and turned you around so his back was facing the goalpost and was able to stop just a few inches short from the goalpost. "Got you," he whispered as his chest heaved up and down, his eyes flickered to your lips then to your eyes and so did yours. Both of your heads tilted closer to each other, a breath's away from a kiss, when the locker room door banged loudly against the empty arena.
"Oh! Someone's girlfriend is here!" Mark hollered when he spotted the two of you on the rink. You jolted away from Jeno's touch as more of his teammates exited the locker room.
"Awww!" Serim gushed at the sight of you two looking all lovey dovey. "What a cute couple!"
"He's so whipped!" Sungchan yelled.
"He was crying because she wasn't here!" Haechan evilly cackled.
You took a step back from Jeno as heat crawled up the back of your neck from embarrassment, while Jeno's ears turned red from the watchful eyes of his teammates.
"Don't get nasty guys! We all use the locker room." Haechan chortled followed by a chorus of boisterous laughter.
Jeno noticed a discomforted expression on your face and yelled back at them, "shut up." The guys only cackled like evil witches and even stuck out their tongue at Jeno before they hurriedly exited out the premise. They knew that Jeno knew that they were only brave enough to tease him like that because he couldn't physically get to them.
"Sorry about them, they're just weird like that," Jeno apologised sheepishly. "On the bright side, the locker room's free now." He remarked now that the whole arena was quiet again.
The embarrassment and shyness slowly faded away and was replaced with a playful glint in your eyes once you saw how close you were to the goalpost. "Ok," you replied and pretended to head to the exit but instead dashed for the goalpost. "I won!" You cheered happily and waved your hands in the air. "You have to buy me a drink!"
"You cheated!" Jeno's jaw dropped in disbelief but his eyes gleamed at your attitude.
"You're just jealous because I beat the star player at his own game," you patted his back in a pitiful way and glided away to the exit, leaving him by himself.
Jeno scoffed and poked his tongue out against his cheek before he quickly caught up to at the exit. Once again, he held your hands as he guided you to the chair and untied your skates first before he did his - the butterflies made an appearance in your stomach all over again over this simple action. Afterwards, Jeno brought you to the locker room when the mustiness and putrid scent of fresh sweat assaulted your nose. "Ugh," you pinched your nose. "Men smell."
"You get used to it." Jeno snickered in amusement. "So, what are we doing here?"
Right! Filming! "We're going to film the hook scene here in the locker room." You switched on the camera and played around with the angles and lighting to get the perfect view.
"Of…?" He trailed off as he stood there waiting for further instructions.
You cleared your throat for a second and answered in a soft voice, a contrast to your cocky attitude earlier. "Of you taking off your clothes," you pretended to fiddle around with the buttons and angles of the camera and refused to look him in the eyes.
Jeno offered a mischievous grin, "doll, you know you could've just asked me for a picture and I would've given it to you." you were avoiding his eye contact but his eyes followed your gaze everywhere you went. Cute. "You don't have to pretend it's for the assignment."
"It is for the assignment!" You insisted and met his gaze head on. "I need something to lure in the audience."
"Hmm," he hummed while he stroked his chin with a permanent smirk stiched on his face, "or you just wanted a topless video of me." He suggested in a raspy tone.
You shook your head at him, "it's for the assignment, it's the same thing you did for Chenle for his anatomical portrait."
Jeno's eyes scrutinised you with suspicions,"how do you know about the portrait?" The portrait assignment was a few semesters back for an elective class of Chenle's and he begged on his knees for Jeno to be his model, and Jeno agreed if it was only seen by the professor.
"He showed it to everyone." Chenle didn't show it to everyone, he accidentally left his sketchbook opened and you saw the page with Jeno's portrait on it, and maybe you snapped one or two pictures of it. Maybe.
"Wow, I need to have a word with him." He frowned slightly at the information given.
Oh crap! Did you just get Chenle in trouble? "He was just proud of it, no need to hound him about it," you awkwardly laughed. "Now, let's get started. All you need to do is take off your gear like normal, like I'm not even here," you explained the hook scene to him.
"How can I not notice a pretty girl with a camera pointing right at me?" He muttered too low for you to hear, but prepped himself in front of the locker while you started recording. The easy part was shedding of his jersey first, then protective gears off his shoulders and knee pads, until he was left with a tight compression shirt that hugged him deliciously and made his pecs stand out even more. From there on, you moved the camera closer to him and waited for him to rip off, take off, the shirt. Jeno made a show of tilting his head back as he took off his shirt, revealing the ridged abs that glistened under the fluorescent light. You took the time to film his body from his pecs all the way down to his faint happy trail. For the assignment.
"All done." You stopped filming since you were more than satisfied with the footage you had recorded. "Thanks Jeno! I'll wait outside while you get ready."
"Wait!" He caught your wrist before you could leave the locker room, "I know you said you won't ever go to my games ever again and I get it," he let go of your wrist and opened his locker to take a fresh and clean hockey jersey with the number "23" on it - Jeno's jersey. "If you ever change your mind one day, this is for you."
Ever since that day, something had shifted. Texts between you and Jeno usually consisted of "hi, are you free to film?" and a variation of "yes" or "no." Now? Jeno took the liberty to text you random questions about your day and when you asked him about his? He sent pictures to you: pictures of his food, pictures of him in class, pictures of him at practice, pictures of him shirtless at the gym, and pictures of him shirtless in bed. It left you flabbergasted when his texts became increasingly revealing and slightly more on the flirtier side but not once did he mentioned those shirtless pictures of him in bed whenever you two met up; he never acted differently towards you and kept it light and breezy.
"Where's your girlfriend?" Chenle mocked Jeno while he's sprawled all over Jeno's bed, scrolling on his phone.
Meanwhile, Jeno laid on the floor with his arm behind his head, scrolling through pictures of you when a text from a girl he had been seeing popped up, im so stress rn. "Working on her assignment," he replied in a bored tone.
"Yo, when's your movie done? Can't wait to watch it with the boys." Haechan spun around in Jeno's computer chair.
Jeno closed his eyes for a second before replying to Haechan. "It's not a movie, it's an assignment and we're still not done filming." Another text came in, come over n work out my knots. "I think she's working on editing some of the parts right now."
"Whatever, can't wait for it either way." Haechan geeked out.
u know where to find me
"I didn't know she edits." Chenle commented absentmindedly.
Otw rn, was the only response he gave and got up from the floor. He reached for his hoodie and leather jacket off his closet then grabbed his helmet and keys. "Ah, she said someone else is helping her with the editing part."
"Cool. Who?"
"I don't know. Later guys," Jeno opened the door in a hurry to step out but Chenle's question stopped him.
"Oh come on, if she's your girlfriend you must know who's helping her with the editing. That's boyfriend 101." Chenle remarked.
He furrowed his eyebrows and tried to remember the name, "some person named Bae something."
"Bae Jinyoung?" Chenle shrieked.
"Yeah, I think that's the one." Jeno replied with no thought with one foot out the door. "You know him?"
Chenle scoffed. "Do I know the person on campus with the sexiest thighs? Hell yeah, I do."
"And he always looks like he just basked in the sweet sun with that tan of his." Haechan whistled out loud.
Jeno slowly retreated his foot back from the door. "So you guys do know him?"
"Yeah, super good looking and super nice." Haechan remarked.
"It's quite late, but don't worry, you can trust that guy." Chenle commented. "Good thing she's dating you because I would be worried if she was single," he threw Jeno a cheesy wink.
"Yeah, he's got a certain charm, we should hang out more with him." Haechan commented.
Sungchan stepped into the room with his duffle bag. "'Sup guys, what's happening?" and dropped his huge bag without a thought.
"Bae Jinyoung." Chenle said.
"Great guy." Sungchan commented. "We paired up for an elective and he got me hooked with content creation. What about him?"
"Bae Jinyoung is helping Jeno's girl with her video." Haechan explained.
"She's in good hands then." He clicked his tongue. Jeno's stomach churned at the comments, he glanced down at the phone when his phone flashed a topless picture but now that was the furthest thing from his mind. What if you fell in love with Bae Jinyoung? So what? You were free to see other people if you wanted to and so was he but why did it hurt at the thought of you with someone else? Why does it…Jeno shook his head and stopped himself from that train of thought. You guys were friends and friends can check up and care about each other, right?
"Why do you look sad bro?" They all asked him as a sullen expression shadowed his face.
Jeno left the room without an explanation. He jumped on motorbike and let the vehicle lead him to you; he remembered you mentioning that you were going to be in the media room to work on the video. Listen, he has no idea where the hell the media room but no rooms will be left unopened.
Why was there more than one media room? The university was built like a maze and he thought he had hit the jackpot when he found the Media Room, apparently, the entire building was the Media Room? What the fuck?
Two bodies slouched over the screen together, analysing the same footage over and over again, turned their attention towards the door when it creaked opened to a sweaty Jeno. "Jeno?" You whispered, a bit concerned at Jeno's sudden appearance.
"You ok, dude?" Bae Jinyoung asked.
Despite the fact it was late at night, the Media Room was brightly lit under the fluorescent light, with soft music playing from someone else's computer since there were also other people working in the same area since anyone was welcomed to to use the facility. You and Jinyoung were huddled in front of a computer, side by side, with hands to yourself. It was obvious you guys had been doing this for awhile because some of your notebooks were scattered on the computer desk. For some strange reason, a wave of relief went through Jeno's body, he wasn't sure what he was expecting but the guys made it sound so bad that he had to come and check up on you. Just in case. He cleared his throat and offered a light smile, "yeah, I'm good."
"What are you doing here? It's late." You asked while he pulled up a chair and snugged it in between yours and Jinyoung's and manspreaded his legs.
"Craving a midnight snack," he asked, "you guys want anything? My treat." He took out his phone and scrolled through the food delivery app.
"Sure man," Jinyoung replied, "Jinyoung," he extended his hand to Jeno.
"Jeno," and they did their little brofist hand shake thingy that every men knows about despite meeting for the first time, "yn's boyfriend."
You cocked your head a bit at his odd behaviour but didn't say anything about it. "You could've just ordered from you dorm?"
"My room was invaded," Jeno responded with a simple answer and hung his arm over the back of your chair. He checked out the food after you and Jinyoung added your meals to the cart. "So, what do we have here?"
"In the middle of editing, let me show you." Jinyoung went on a passionate and detailed talk on the editing process and you chimed in with your thoughts here and there, while Jeno followed your discussion at first but later zoned out as he traced the several lines on your palm - from your wrist to your fingertips. His line of sight ended right on Jinyoung's thick and muscular thighs which was visible even under those denim jeans. Damn, he does have sexy thighs.
"Wait yn, what kind of effect did you want for this scene?" Jinyoung asked you.
"Sorry, wait, it's easier for me to show you, I have visual references in my notebook." You took out your notebook one by one, including your small diary, from your bag because the notebook you were looking was deep within the bag. "Here it is!" And you showed the visual references to Jinyoung.
A buzzing sound interrupted the discussion you guys were having, someone was calling Jinyoung. "Sorry, my girlfriend's calling, be right back." Jinyoung excused himself out of the room.
"Are you sure you're comfortable Jeno?" Your soft breath in Jeno's ear tingled him just a bit. "Theres a couch if you want to lie down." Within five minutes of you and Jinyoung working on the video, you noticed how Jeno tuned out of your conversation and played with your hands instead.
"I'm good." He pinched your cheek as he stroked your hands in his, which made you shy on the inside. "Food's almost here, be right back."
"Wait, let me go with you. I need a break either way," you got up from your seat and shoved your notebooks and other things that were on the computer desk in your bag and left the room with Jeno without realising that your small diary didn't make it to your bag, instead, it fell underneath a computer desk.
The worst part of being a woman was the period cramps. Well, aside from the fear of interacting with an unknown male individual and unknowingly triggering its fragile male ego and fearing for your life but that's neither here nor there. It was like a sharp knife stabbed you right in the tummy and twisted the insides till you died a thousand small deaths only for you to relive the experience it all over again. Hence, you and Ryujin laid on your bed as you ate chocolates and watched a classic romcom on the laptop, giggling and squealing at the cliche parts, while the heating pad on your belly eased your mind and body from the period cramp. All the small talks in between the giggling while you watched the movie almost made you miss the knock on your window.
"Did you hear that?" You asked Ryujin because you were sure you heard something knocked but you only heard the stretched of the indoor wind.
"Nope, I don't he-" Knock, knock. Your body shivered when you heard the knock from somewhere again. There it was again. Both you and Ryujin looked at each other but stayed completely still until a familiar voice spoke behind the window.
"Are you awake? It's me, Jeno." A voice spoke out behind the window. You slumped your shoulders and headed to the window to open it. Your heart fluttered at the sight of Jeno with his black hoodie and a duffel bag that slung over his shoulders. It had been awhile since you last saw Jeno because you had gotten busy with other assignments and Jeno with practice and his away games over the weekends.
"What are you doing here this late at night?" You leaned closer to him.
Instead of responding with a "hi" or a "hello," Jeno cupped your face in the palm of his hands and kissed you on the lips. His lips were soft, although a bit dry, but it had that addicting taste which you couldn't get enough of. Was that your first kiss with him? You didn't realised how much you actually missed him because you chased his lips even deeper and was lost in his touch.
"Ahem-ahem," Ryujin loudly faked coughed to get both of your attention. She had never seen you like this with a guy.
Your lips separated from each other but Jeno gave you one last peck. "You taste like chocolate." He commented, his eyes drowned in yours.
"Just ate some," you bit your lips from the way he looked at you.
"Ahem-ahem," Ryujin faked coughed again while her arms were crossed as she tapped her foot against the floor. "Jeno."
"Ryujin." He finally acknowledged Ryujin's presence and gave her a slight nod.
"Ever heard of texting?" She rolled her eyes but was severely relieved that it was just Jeno and not some sort of psycho by the window. It was truly one of the disadvantages of staying on the ground floor of the building.
"Wanted to surprise her." He tucked a locked of your hair behind your ear and pinched your cheek which made heat crawled up your neck. "Wanna go for a ride? We can drop by the diner." He asked as he played with your hand.
You pouted. "Sorry Jeno, not tonight. I'm not feeling well."
Jeno's hand instinctively went to your forehead to feel your temperature. "Your body feels normal," he commented after a few seconds but his hand remained on your forehead.
You chuckled lightly, "it's my period cramps," you took his hand that was on your forehead and guided it to your lower abdomen.
"Does it still hurt?" Jeno pressed a bit of pressure on it as he massaged in a circular pattern.
A small moaned came out of you when you felt the pressure of Jeno's fingers on your lower abdomen. "Yeah, but I'll get over it." It sucked but it was routine at this point.
"Let me help you." He continued massaging you through the window.
You held his hand that was massaging you and stopped him, "you don't need to, I have heating pads for it."
"I want to," he pouted at you. It was hard to draw a line with him if he was being this nice. "Please," he begged and kissed your knuckles.
"I have to ask Ryujin first. We have this "No Boys" in the room policy." You subtly glanced at Ryujin.
Ryujin heard the entire thing and sighed. "Just stay but no funny business!" She warned Jeno and gave him a menacing side-eye. "You're lucky I have to finish up my assignment." She went to her study table across from yours, put on her headphones and dived into her laptop.
"Thanks," Jeno smiled at Ryujin's response and jumped in through the window, all while he held your hand. He took off his duffel bag from his shoulders and placed it down on the floor. "Movie night?" He commented when he saw the paused scene on the laptop screen on your bed.
"Yeah, makes me forget about the pain." You moved the laptop and sat on your bed; Jeno mirrored your action and sat beside you but pulled you on his lap and wrapped you in his arms. One hand was on your lower abdomen and massaged it like he did before. "What movie do you want to watch?" You pulled your laptop in your lap and scrolled through the categories.
"Any." He leaned back against your headboard and drew you in between his legs as he massaged you, while you picked a random movie to watch and let it play in the background. His fingers kneaded you right where you needed them and eased up your cramps. "How's this?" He whispered in the shell of your ear.
"Better," you hummed a contended sighed. "When did you get back?" Your back leaned even more to his chest.
"Just now." He continued to massage your lower abdomen with both hands.
You let out a confused sound and looked at him. "Aren't you tired? Heard the place was quite far."
There was a faint smile on his face, "slept on the bus." He kissed the side of your temple and muttered, "besides, I missed you."
With that simple action, your heart skipped a beat at the casualness of it all. Your once bitter feelings for him disappeared when he was around. The both of you stayed like that for awhile, tangled in each other's arms while you guys watched the movie. Although Jeno's massage did help you a bit, the pain was still present and persistent. Like you needed something heavy to squash it down. "Jeno, it still hurts." You mumbled against his chest.
"Hm?" He leaned in closer to hear you better. "Still? Do you want aspirin?"
"No," you shook your head. "I just need something to sit on top of it. I think my textbooks might work." You lifted yourself Jeno but he didn't let you go fetch your heavy textbooks.
"What if I lay on top of you?" He asked. "Think it would work?"
"We can try." So, you switched positions with Jeno in between your legs, his body heat and weight radiated off him and helped eased the period cramps. Meanwhile, you ran your fingers through his hair and threaded it and scratched it as the faint noise played in the background.
When you woke up the next morning, it felt cold to no longer have the warm presence that was on you; the warmness from Jeno and the coziness of your bed lulled you to sleep and you didn't even realised you dozed off in the middle of watching the movie. You stretched out your limbs and yawned, your muscles and body were already feeling much better today compared to yesterday, and went to grab your water bottle on your desk. There was your laptop laid neatly on your desk, you assumed Jeno had switched it off and placed it there before he left, with a sticky note on it. Sorry, had to leave without telling u, didn't want to disturb ur sleep. Call me when u wake up - Jeno.
Your emotions swirled at the simple message he left behind and you bit back a giggle because Ryujin was still asleep in her bed. You were too busy gushing and rereading his note again and again that you didn't realised there was a new poloroid picture of the said note leaver on your board which you did not put up.
There was only one bed. A decent sized queen bed, nevertheless, it was only one bed. "Um - there's only bed." You pointed out to Jeno.
"Yeah." He replied without looking and settled down the bags on the floor, and shrugged of his jacket.
It was easy to avoid relationship questions for one night, but to avoid it over the whole weekend was impossible. Jeno's hockey team arranged a staycation at a villa a couple of hours away from campus to strengthen their bond and unwind for a weekend. Even though it was a team gateaway, it was also an excuse for most of them to bring their girlfriend or whoever they wanted on the trip with them.
"Is there any room with two beds?" You sat your half empty iced peach lemon tea on the side table. "Someone we can switch with?" You asked him.
He chuckled, "I think that would raise suspicions, don't you think?"
"Oh." You clamped your mouth shut when Jeno pointed that out.
"All the rooms in the villa only have a king-sized bed or a queen-sized one." Jeno elaborated.
It was a gorgeous and fun villa by the beach and there was an indoor pool, a hot tub, a gaming room filled with arcade games, a pool table, a tennis table, a gorgeous kitchen with an outdoor kitchen and fire pit outside.
"Woah, you guys can afford this?"
"It's one of Chenle's vacation house." Jeno commented. "He was going to join but then he has last minute rehearsals for his play."
The rest of the day was filled with the whole team exploring the local town and you all came back and played in the gaming room. Everyone was spread out either competing in different games while you teamed up with Jeno for the table tennis doubles match.
"Woah! Let's go!" You exclaimed when Haechan and Chaeryeong missed another one of your shots.
Jeno high-fived you with the paddle, "you're going down Lee," which ignited a whole level of competitive spirit for Haechan and Chaeryeong but it sucked for them because you and Jeno were on fire and easily won the game.
"Rematch!" Haechan yelled out of dissatisfaction.
The heated match had left everyone hungry and tired so by the time the sun had set, all the guys were grilling the meats outside in the cold, while you and the rest of the girls were in the kitchen preparing the drinks and some snacks while gossiping. You had rarely crossed paths with them before you became Jeno's "girlfriend," but they were all super sweet and welcomed you like you were always part of them.
"We never see you at the games." Shuhua frowned as she stirred in the random juice concoction that she made.
You felt heat crawled up to your neck as all the girls' attention were on you. "I don't go to his games."
"Oh yeah, trauma, forgot those existed." Shuhua jokingly hit her head and you laughed.
"You know Jeno's always looking for you." Chaeryeong piped up while she cut up some fruits. "You should join us one day, we'll protect you," and fed you some fruits.
Was he waiting for you to show up to his games?
"By the way, how'd you get this guy to date?" Shuhua leaned in closer and so did all the other girls, interested in what magic you put him under to commit to a relationship.
Just then, Haechan, Serim and Jeno walked in with a tray full of smoked meats, "it's freezing cold out there," Haechan walked in to the kitchen all jumpy and blew warm air to his hands while Jeno and Serim set the tray full of meats down.
"It looks so good!" Chaeryeong's eyes bulged at the sight of meats and nimbled on one.
"Are you guys done grilling the meat?"
"There's still a lot more, wanted to give this to you girls first," Jeno stood next to you and fed you a piece of meat, "how is it?"
The smoky flavoured marinated really well with each other and the more you chewed it, there was a spicy after kick to it. "It's so good," and you gave him a thumbs up and fed you another piece once you were done with the first one.
"What were you guys up to?" Serim stole a piece of fruit.
"She was about to tell us how she got Jeno to date," Shuhua wiggled her eyebrows at you.
"You poisoned him or something?" Haechan jokingly suggested.
You decided to play it cool and nodded your head. "He took a sip of my secret potion, one taste and he was mine." You started off all serious and melancholic as if you were telling them your story, everybody was locked in to your story. "For a spell that can't be broken, one drop should be enough." You dramatically sighed and gazed at Jeno and held his chin with your thumb and index finger, his heart skipped a beat. "Boy, you belong to me."
Everyone including Haechan jumped in, "I got the recipe, and it's called black magic."
Everyone jumped up and down as they sang but Jeno, "take sip of a secret potion! One taste and you'll be mine! For a spell that can't be broken, it'll keep you up all night! Boy, you belong to me! I got the recipe! And it's called black magic!"
The first night ended on a high note with everyone joking and eating the delicious food, and everyone went to bed with a happy tummy. It was a bit awkward when you and Jeno were deciding on your sleeping arrangements since he's only ever helped you with your period cramps. Jeno was stubborn and insisted on sleeping the floor while you took the bed.
"Jeno, I'll sleep on the floor, you take the bed." You said with a concerned tone. "I know you have a tournament next week."
"It's nothing I'm not used to," he shrugged your concerned off and dozed off on the floor with the blanket. Maybe it was better this way because you think you would combust if you ended up sleeping with Jeno. At som point during the night, you got up from the bed to go to the bathroom and accidentally stepped on Jeno in the darkness of the room. "Oomf," Jeno grunted.
"Sorry Jeno," you apologised, not realising how close he was beside your bed. When you came back from the bathroom, you felt bad watching Jeno turn and twist in different directions on the hard floor even though there was a carpet underneath him to cushion the hardness. "Jeno, come to bed with me," you whispered in his ears.
He lazily shook his head with his eyes closed. "It's fine," he muttered.
"No you're not. I don't want you to be in pain because of me." You replied in a worried tone and held his hand. "Please," you begged him.
"Ok," his hushed tone carried loud enough in the darkness of the room. He got up from the floor with his blanket and laid down on the right side of the bed while you slept on the other - respectable distance between the two of you.
"Night Jeno," you turned the other way, so he can't see you ugly sleep your way through the night.
"Night doll," he settled in comfortably.
The morning sun seeped through your eyelids and your eyes fluttered open. You tried to get up but you felt a heavy and warm presence wrapped around you; Jeno's face was nuzzled in the crook of your neck you and his arms and legs were tightly sprawled all over you - bringing you even closer when he felt you moved. "Um, Jeno," you whispered not wanting to disturb him from his slumber but you just wanted to get up from the bed, "are you awake?" You asked Jeno who had his eyes closed.
"Hmmm," he groaned and pulled you in even tighter. Your eyes widened in shyness when you felt his morning wood buldged on your ass. What the heck?!
"Jeno," you whispered one more time in hope that he would wake up, "can you please let go of me?"
"Five more minutes," he mumbled with his eyes closed and inhaled the scent of your skin as you accepted defeat and melted back into a deep slumber.
You weren't sure how long you fell asleep for but it didn't matter because it was definitely one of the best sleep you had gotten in awhile. You chuckled when you found that Jeno was wrapped like a burrito, still asleep, and you realised all those late afternoon replies to your morning messages made sense - he was a deep sleeper. So you went off and washed up, had your first meal of the day, and Shuhua invited you to come along with her and Sungchan, since everyone already left the house to explore more of the local town, but you declined and told her you would meet up with them later with Jeno once he was awake.
You made your way back to yours and Jeno's shared room, expecting for him to still be asleep, only to be greeted with him fresh from the shower with only a towel that hung dangerously low on his waist.
"Morning sleepyhead," he greeted you with a smile as he dried his hair with a small towel.
Your eye shifted here and there before you decided to narrow in on his ear - yeah, that would be a good spot. "Morning sleepyhead," you lightheartedly mocked him. "They all went out to town by the way, told Shuhua and Sungchan that we would meet them there." Yeah, keep it cool girl.
"Ok, I'll get ready and then we can head there together. I think Chenle has an atv somewhere, we can ride that if it's in good condition." Jeno rambled but you were my paying attention to his words anymore. Instead, your eyes wondered the deep lines of his abs and his juicy pecs paired up with his beefy biceps, yum!
Get your head out of the gutter! It was still hard for you to make eye contact with him considering how naked he was. Yes, you've seen him shirtless but he had pants on the last time you saw him like this! Who knows what's underneath that towel. Even through the thick material, you can vaguely make out the shape of his dick. How hung was this guy?
The corner of Jeno's lips tugged upwards as he wiped away a drool on your lips; he couldn't pretend to not notice the intensity of your stares anymore. "Take a picture, it'll last longer." He teased you and you could only feel the embarrassment of getting caught.
He smirked, "you can touch it if you want," and brought your hand over the hard ridges of his abs and didn't let go of it.
You followed his sightline and stopped at where his huge dick laid underneath the towel. "Wouldn't it be weird?"
He loosened his grip on your wrist but didn't let go of it. "It doesn't have to be," and laid your hand on line of his abs and let it rest there - waiting for you to make your choice.
Maybe it was all those repressed desires for Jeno because your fingers moved down by itself and played with the hems of the loose towel, while Jeno stood still with an amused expression on his face. You looked up at him with an uneased expression, only for Jeno to give a nod of encouragement. You gave the towel a little tug and it instantly fell on the floor, revealing his big, pink dick. Your jaw dropped at the mere size of it and its mushroom top while it laid all soft. "Can I touch it?" You whispered.
Jeno brought your hand to his cock and rubbed it up and down. "I'm yours to touch." You wrapped your hand around his warm dick and Jeno winced in pain. "Not too tight."
"Oops, sorry." You were intrigued with the way his cock was slowly hardening under your touch; the pink tip curved upwards and your eyes glinted with list.
"Spit on it." Jeno instructed. You gathered the saliva in your mouth and spat it all out on his warm dick. The slimy and wet sensation left Jeno feeling breathless. The tip of his dick looked appetising with the precum that leaked from the tip so you bent down on your knees and licked it and tasted the saltiness of the liquid on your tongue.
You sucked the tip in an agonising slow pace, savouring every single drop and moan that came out of Jeno. He tugged on your hair and pulled it back, "don't tease," he whined. There was a mischievous smirk as you wanted to see him break apart under your touch so you dragged your tongue down his dick and he could only hold on to your scalp in desperate agony. Your tongue trailed up and down, up and down his dick until you reached the tip and sucked it harsh again. Jeno moaned and inadvertently pushed his dick in deeper. So you loosened your jaw to accommodate his huge cock. Jeno went deeper and deeper till he was halfway down your throat. "Fuck, you're so warm, princess." He grunted and you breathed in to your nose but gagged out his dick when you couldn't take it anymore.
You panted heavily for oxygen while his cock stood tall and proud in front of you - you still needed more of him. "Fuck me." You begged.
He shook his head and grazed his thumb against the faint scar on the side of your forehead. "What if you get hurt?" He was concerned if your brain could handle his big dick.
"I'll pinch your thigh if it gets too much, that good enough for you?" Jeno inserted his cock in your mouth again, inch by inch he went deeper till you felt him in the base of your throat as you breathed in through your nose.
"Ready?" Jeno asked as he held your hair in a makeshift ponytail and you could only respond with a muffled yes. He went slow at first, his pace was gentle and his hold on your scalp was loose; he often glanced at you and checked if you were able to take it well since his pleasure was only second to your safety. Eventually you got tired of snail pace and muffled "faster," and that was when he punctured and abused your swollen throat at a fast pace while he groaned until streams of cum went down your throat and you swallowed every bit of it. There was a dark sense of pride as he watched you swallow his seeds. He helped you stand up and kissed you deep, tasting himself as you interlocked tongues. Your lips were swollen and you were out of breath and your pussy was wet and you continued kissing. "What a good girl for taking my big dick, even swallowed all of my cum." He nipped your lips, "wanted it from the beginning didn't you, baby?" And you could only nod as he sucked the air out of you.
"Let me return the favour."
The memory of the villa burned inside of you for days on end. Jeno was true to his words and kept it casual; he didn't treat you any differently than before and would joke and tease you around like usual.
We're friends, I can call and text him if I want. So, you dialled his number and it rang.
"Hello?" Jeno's faint voice came out breathy.
"Hi Jeno." You greeted him.
"Hi princess, what's up?" You heard a woman's moan on the other end of the line and your heart dropped.
"Nothing." You quickly said. "Just wanted to see if you're free tomorrow to film."
"Yeah, I have some time tomorrow."
"Ok, I'll text you the location. Bye!" You ended the call without even letting a Jeno say goodbye and slummed your body against the bed. God, that call could've been a text, and now you actually have to go and write a small script for tomorrow's filming even though you had nothing! What an idiot! You really thought Jeno would fall for you when he was just a nice person, combined with the fact he probably still feels guilty for pucking you, but sure yeah, he has definitely fallen for you, what an idiot! Stupid! You really thought you were the one to change him like you are not Bob the builder.
The blank ceiling stared back at you in frustration. Now you understood why so many girls walked away crying in pain even though they knew what they signed up for; You already fell for him but you fell even more after you slowly got to know him. It frustrated you that you read more meaning into Jeno's actions even though Jeno had always been a man of his words. He told you up right that it was a simple transactional arrangement. It was dumb of you thinking that Jeno would ever fall for you. He was just a nice person. You cried into your pillows last night.
No, you can't fall for him no matter how kind and sweet he is. Him kissing you was a fluke. That night at the villa was a fluke. You were both two individuals with pent up emotions and urges who didn't hate each other hence the physical attraction at the very least. Don't fall for him, don't fall for him. That was the thing, you already fell for him, hard. Just…don't let him know about it.
The feelings bubbled intensely in your body that you had to let the foams out before it exploded. You reached for the diary in its usual spot but it wasn't there! You emptied every drawer, every bag, your closet, flipped the mattress, and even searched on Ryujin's side just in case it was there. That would be the best scenario. Oh crap! It was nowhere to be found! You cried so long that Ryujin and Yeji caught you crying and were ready to immediately beat Jeno's ass but quickly jumped to the rescue and said that you lost something.
Jeno felt like a pervert, scratched that, he was a pervert. Right now, he was beating his meat while listening to a two second, innocent, voice recording of yours over and over again, while his game character hid in the corner of the screen, ignoring the whines and shouts through the chunky headset from his demonic friends. He had no idea how this became a regular occurrence; ever since meeting you, it became harder and harder for him to, well, get hard unless he thought about you. The post-nut clarity came and he had never felt more disgusted with himself, again. The logical side of his came back and it felt so wrong to disrespect you like this, especially since your relationship with him was far from that.
Whenever he was around you, he couldn't help that it was his natural instinct to constantly hold onto you, that his touches lingered longer, the need to playfully tease you, and maybe it was out of sheer stupidity, he sent risqué pictures to you. No, it wasn't nudes, simply topless pictures of him at the gym or in him in bed, and if that incited you to initiate something with him, well, he wouldn't be opposed to it. But you were good at keeping your boundaries - almost too good - there was a line he wanted to cross.
On some days, he wondered in the back of his mind if you were seeing anyone or sleeping with anyone else; the thought of that alone angered and enraged him in ways he didn't expect it to do so. Fuck whoever was touching and pleasing you. The first time that thought flashed his mind was when he saw a bruise on your neck when he first visited your dorm. There were times when a guy lingered his gaze on you for a second too long or you were friends with another guy, but he couldn't ask you that without him being a hypocrite. So, he did what any good boyfriend did - stared down the guy whenever someone looked at you the way he didn't liked.
Then it happened. The kiss when he came back from his away game. The texts and calls you made to wish him luck made him missed you even more, an empty hollow ache dug in his heart, even though he was tired from the game and the bus ride, his body instinctively led him to you. His heartbeat drummed when you opened the window, and without a thought, he cupped you in for a kiss on the lips - and the craziest thing was that you didn't push him away. You even leaned in for more. Well, that drove him a bit crazy.
Second, the villa. Maybe it was because you had to pretend to be a couple for the entire weekend, you naturally acted more couple-like. He loved getting a whiffed of your natural scent when you laid beside him and the warmth of your body against his when he woke up tangled in you - not wanting to leave the comfort of your presence. That memory replayed in his mind like background noise; if a simple kiss from you ruined him, just imagine what a kiss on his dick from you meant. Jeno tried to forget the touch of your soft lips on his with other people. Not because he wanted to forget about the memory but because his mind and body constantly crawled back to you. It was torturous to be toeing in between the lines. That was why he did what he had to do but tt felt wrong the moment another girl touched him and he instinctively jolted away from their touch. However, they were already naked so what else was he supposed to do beside eat her out so she can leave somewhat satisfied and that was when you made that odd phone call to him.
His eyes naturally wonders to you: the way your eyes light up when you drink your favourite iced peach lemon tea, the way you get shy and flustered when he teases you, the way you ride his motorbike with confidence when some of his friends were too scared to even ride in the back, the way you blend in with his friends and their girlfriends, and the way you're always so comfortable to be around that he feels like he can always be honest with you.
Once again, he notice you avoiding eye contact and being a bit colder than usual, your responses were curt and short - it reminded him of the time you avoided him the day after you got drunk. He hated it. At first, he choked it up to you having a bad day but it happened every time he met you, so he thought you were on your period but it wasn't possible because, according to his calnder, you weren't supposed to have it yet.
"Dude, you look sad." Mark observed Jeno's behaviour as they walked out of the arena.
"Yeah, you weren't hitting all the shots at practice today, what happened?" Serim asked.
"Nothing," he ran his fingers through his hair in frustration, "my girlfriend seems a bit down nowadays and I don't what to do."
"Well, have you tried asking her?" Mark asked him in an obvious tone.
"I did and she said she was fine."
"Wow, it's clear you've never been in a relationship," Serim scoffed at Jeno, "when a woman says she's fine, she's not fine."
"Or, she could actually be fine," Mark interjected, "depending on the situation."
"Yeah, that's true," Serim nodded.
"What? So is she fine or is she not fine?" Jeno asked, more confused than ever.
"Yes." They both answered.
"Whatever it is, it doesn't hurt to make her feel better and happier." Serim said.
"Like what?" Jeno asked.
"You know like show up with flowers and buy her favourite dinner." Mark brought up, "or take her to a special place."
The three of them went their separate ways once the main campus building was in view. Jeno mulled over his friends' advice and decided to follow through with it; he waited for you outside of your class with your favourite iced peach lemon tea in one hand, and a singular crochet flower in the other - he thought the crochet flower would look cute in your room. His palms grew sweaty but he forgot about it once he saw you walking out of your lecture hall, "hi babe," he beamed at you with his natural smile.
You pressed a firm line and gave him a slight smile, "hey, what are you doing here? We don't have filming today," you peeked down and noticed the items in his hands.
"Yeah, I know," a random guy dapped Jeno up and he shakily handed you the drink and the crochet flower.
"Thanks," you were hesitant but accepted it anyways and took a sip of your favourite drink while you put away the cute flower in your bag.
"Are you free right now?" Jeno quietly asked.
Your eyes wavered side to side, "uhm, I have assignments that needs to be done," and took another sip from your drink.
There it was again, the unfamiliar cold behaviour that was uncharacteristic of you. "Ah, ok," Jeno awkwardly shuffled his feet, he did not think it through.
"Is everything ok?" There was a slight concerned in your voice.
"Yeah, everything's fine, I just needed your help with something."
You took another sipped and bit your lips, "what do you need help with?"
"Come with me."
"What are we doing here?" You slipped in backstage of the auditorium and crouched down beside Jeno who was peeking out of the giant curtains.
"We have to keep our voices down," he gently shushed you.
"Why are we here? There's no one," you whispered.
"Sometimes when I know Haechan is rehearsing alone, I like to mess with him when I'm bored." Right on cue, Haechan showed up on stage from the other side and warmed up his voice. It was an empty auditorium with only a singular flash of light that shone on Haechan. Jeno waited until Haechan sang a song and was in his world and that was when he took out a small metronome from his bag. He set the metronome equipment down on stage and turned it on the setting to a beat behind Haechan's singing so it would drive him crazy with the small, clicking sound.
You watched the way Haechan fell into the rhythm of his own singing, completely in sync with himself until he stopped singing and looked around the place, wondering if he had heard something. There was nothing so he continued on but there was the sound again, completely threw him off. This happened a couple of times until he got agitated and yelled, "stop messing with me!" Whether it was a ghost or a person, he was so done with them because it only happened when he was alone. "I will find you."
"He's coming, run," he snagged your hand and ran before Haechan could catch either of you and tried so hard to muffle in your laughs as to not be caught. You stopped running now that you were safe from Haechan's wrath, a bit out of breath from the spontaneous sprint, "what was that?!" You laughed at Jeno's harmless prank on Haechan.
Jeno's eyes twinkled seeing you smile, "he's going to kill me if he ever finds out one day but it's Haechan so I can take him down."
"I'm not here if he ever kills you," you laughed while clutching onto your stomach. It took you a couple more seconds but the laughter finally died down. "Well, um, thanks for letting me on this but I have to go now."
Jeno's eyes widened as he interrupted you. "Let me take you somewhere!"
"I don't know Jeno," you looked down, "I-"
"Please," he carefully linked his pinky with yours, "it won't take long."
Why is it that all men ever do is lie because you wouldn't exactly define going to a park outside of campus as exactly short. But you can't say you hated it, in fact, you loved it because you both were paddling on a duck-shaped boat over the tranquil water when Jeno stopped at where all the ducks and swans gathered. He took out a huge bag of ziplock from his bag and sprinkled seeds at the ducks and swans nearby.
"Do you always carry a bag full of seeds?" Your eyes glinted with amusement as you watched all the little cute animals gathered around the seeds, pecking for more.
"Not always but often enough," he handed you the ziplock bag and it was your turn to sprinkle it around.
"So cute, Jeno look, it's coming to me," you drizzled a generous amount of seeds to them and Jeno did the same - you both watched in complete silence in the stillness of tranquility. "Why'd you bring me here?" A thought ran through your head.
"Honestly?" Jeno asked as he fed more seeds to them.
"Yeah, honestly." You repeated.
"You seem a bit down nowadays, and I don't want to overstep your boundaries, especially if it's personal and I'm probably not your go-to person. But I just wanted to share what I do when I feel down," he paused, "in hopes of helping you feel better, whatever it is you're going through, even if it's just a litttle bit."
"Hmm cool, is this where you bring other girls often?" You chuckled lightly to disguise the bitterness and sharpness of your tone.
Jeno shook his head, "it's my first time showing anyone that I come here," his soft tone swayed your heart. Jeno didn't know but the hardened wax you created around him melted once again under his sincere words.
Jeno was ultra-focused as he scored another goal and the whole crowd cheered for him but it always sounded bittersweet in his ears, especially since you were never around for his games. He scanned the crowd once more, in a silly little hope that he would you in his jersey, like all of his other teammates did with their girlfriends. There was a small inkling part of him that wished you would come to his games and watch you cheer from the stands. But he knew where you came from, he would never even step foot into the arena if it happened to him, and a small part of the guilt resided in him. The tensions were high, only one score left to determine the winner. Jeno clenched his jaw and gripped his stick, the puck flew across the rink from stick to stick. A quick glanced at his surroundings and he already knew which teammate to pass the puck to, in a swift move, Jeno slid the puck to Serim and Jeno instantly skated to the other side. He watched as his other teammates passed the pucked among themselves until it reached Jeno again -they were so close to goal. Jeno was about to strike his stick against the puck when he saw a familiar figure with his jersey and his number on it. Could it be…? It was you! You were cheering in the stand with Chenle and your other friends. The other team took this split second of hesitation to body check him and stole the puck, and they took the win.
The match ended and the crowd slowly dispersed from the arena. You went down to where the team was gathered and greeted Jeno, "sorry you lost, it's like I'm bad luck." You checked him for any injuries and he let's you; Jeno liked it when your attention was on him and loved the feel of your soft fingers on him even more and your concerned tone.
"You're not bad luck, I need to play better." He kissed your forehead.
It was the final scene for the video; Jeno drowning in the pool before he surfaces up, signifying that his paranoia was what killed him. Jeno's acting was more than convincincing, drowning while desperately gasping for air before it killed him. His stomach faced down and he floated in the pool.
One final zoom in on Jeno's body and you were done, "ok Jeno, done!" You reviewed the new footage that you had just shot, satisfied that your vision was coming together. You said once more only to met with the stillness of the chlorine air. "Jeno. I'm done. You can come up now." He wasn't moving at all, face down on the pool. At first, you lightly brushed it off thinking he was just joking with you but you cautiously stepped closer to the pool. "Jeno?" No response. "Ha.ha.ha. Very funny, you got me, you can come up now. The swim team will be here soon." No response. What if he pulled a cramped in between those takes and he was actually drowning?
Nevertheless, you sat the camera down on the bench and stood closer to the edge of the deep end of the pool. "Jeno?" You were panicking now, the worst case possible scenario ran through your head and you had to get him out of there. The only problem was that you can't swim if the pool is too deep so you looked around for those floating device but you didn't see any. So you leaned down flat on the ground and tried to grab ahold of his hand. So close yet so far. "Jeno!" You huffed, your fingertips were close to his, and in the blink of an eye, there was a commotion in the water since Jeno grabbed your hand and dragged you into the pool with him. "Ah!" You yelped as you fell into the pool, creating a huge splash.
"Got you!" Jeno was floating in the pool normally, laughing at his successful prank on you.
You were struggling to keep afloat, your neck barely came out of the surface. Jeno caught on to that and held your waist with one hand as he stayed afloat, while you anchored yourself on him, legs wrapped around his waist and arms around his neck - afraid you would drown the second you let go.
He rested one hand on your back, keeping you secure with his hold. "So you can't swim?" His eyes were full of mischief.
Now that you caught your breath and was able to think more clearly, "you jerk!" You let go of one hand around his neck and hit him hard on the chest that it thudded. "You scared me! Why would you do that? I can swim but not when it's this deep!"
"So you can't swim." He mocked with a cocky tone. "What if I," he paused, "just let go." You dipped in the water just the slightest but Jeno caught you in his arms as his laugh echoed in the pool arena.
You gasped and cursed at him as he did that whilst holding even tighter onto him. "You jerk! I'm going to kill you when we're on land," you threatened him again. "Don't let me go." You pleaded with desperate eyes.
"I won't let you go." He spoke in a hushed voice. Jeno's eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips back to your eyes, and yours mirrored his actions. The waves of the pool pulled you in even closer and without even thinking, your lips were pressed against each other. His lips was hot and tasted of chlorine and saliva and he kept on devouring you, pushing you right up the pool tiles. His hardness created a delicious friction and you involuntarily grinded on him, feeling the vibrations as he moaned. He grabbed your ass, pulled you even closer to him even though the gap was nonexistent between the two of you and you whined on his lips when you felt all of him. His lips chased yours when you separated from him because the sound of faint footsteps approaching the pool arena grew closer. Only the loud silence and heavy breaths filled up the arena, and you grew shy as you drowned in Jeno's eyes.
You spoke out first, "uhm, we should go. The swim team, they're here."
"Ye-yeah," he helped you out of the pull. It was an awkward mess of coming out of the pool and hurrying to leave before the swim team started their practice.
There was so much pressure you wanted to relieve the second you came back to your dorm, however Ryujin, out of all the other days, decided to skip class and chill in the room for the entire day. So the second Ryujin left for the evening, you took out your vibrator and went to town with it; there was an instant relief the second it touched your clothed pussy. You increased the intensity by one level and lulled into a daydream about Jeno, the pool, the villa, and god, imagining his fingers on you again. Once again, you upped the intensity by another level and the familiar coil in your lower belly forming when that moment was interrupted because there was a knock on your window. Shit. You turned off the vibrator and shoved it under your pillow and pulled the curtains to see Jeno with a takeout package and your favourite drink, iced peach lemon tea.
"Hi." Jeno greeted you through the window. "I've got food and your iced peach lemon tea," and came in through the window.
"Oh, uhm, thanks Jeno," you hoped Jeno doesn't noticed your flustered face, and fuck, you were itching for a release. "What are you doing here?"
"Movie night?" He brightly suggested and you both ignored the elephant in the room - the incident in the pool. The pool incident felt different than the time in the villa because it seemed like it was a tit for tat type of thing where you were curious about his dick and he was returning the favour. But the pool was impulsive, hot, and came out of nowhere.
You set up a towel on your bed so you both could eat while watching a movie in bed. Jeno settled himself against the headboard and removed the pillow to make himself even more comfortable when he saw the object underneath it.
Shit.
"Oh, baby, is this what you were doing?" You didn't say anything and felt all shy that Jeno caught you. "You must've hated that I ruined it. Did you come?" He was mocking you with a pout on his face.
"No." You said in a meek voice.
"Awww baby, what are you so shy for?" He pulled you in his lap, leaned in closer and pressed kisses against your jaw, you tilted your neck to the side to let him have more access and let out a soft moaned when he sucked a particular sensitive on your neck. "Fuck." He groaned as he took in the scent of your sweet self, "Because I was a fucking douche for interrupting your time," he sucked in that same sweet again to hear your whine, "let me help you."
Anyone could see that Jeno was a strong and muscular person, but the suddenness in which he manhandled you to sit you on his lap, in front of the mirror across from the bed, made your pussy gush with wetness. Jeno anchored your wait with one hand and spread your thighs opened. You were wearing Jeno's jersey with only a white lace panties underneath it. He moaned at the sight of your damp arousal that seeped through the clothing material. "Fuck," he hissed and kissed you hard and sucked the bottom of your lip before letting it go. "Your poor fucking pussy." He pouted.
"All wet and neglected because of me, right?" He lazily rubbed circles over your cloth clit but that pressure alone was enough to let out a desperate whined, relieved there was at least some sort of pressure. "Tell me, what were you thinking about?"
"You," you shyly confessed.
"You probably thought about me like the I way I was thinking about you in the shower jerking off to you," he rambled on. "Open your mouth," he spat in your mouth and watched the translucent liquid dripped, "take it like a good girl." He forced you to swallow and seeing him like this made your pussy twitched.
He stared at you in the mirror with a lustful gaze, "you're going to watch me watch you please yourself." He nipped your jawline and pressed the vibrator even harder against your clit that made your hips bucked up. "Aww aren't you desperate?" He snaked his hand under your, his, jersey and tweaked your nipple, bringing you pleasure from different sensation.
You grinded against the vibrator, wanting Jeno to increase the intensity so you could come. "Please, want to come," you begged him.
"Aww really?" He said in a condescending and pretended to increase the intensity only to lower it and you cried in disappointment. He did that a couple of times, enjoying watching the way you suffered under his touch. "I just started having fun," he cockily laughed in your ear. "Let me see the damage," and pulled off the oversize jersey, making you shy when you saw yourself topless in the mirror with your boobs hanging out, and your white lace panties soaking wet. "Prettiest boobs I've ever seen," he cupped them in his hand as if to prove a point.
You melted in his body, feeling exposed and shy at your naked self while he was still fully clothed. "You're so cute when you're so fucking shy." He bit your earlobe and trailed his hand down your side and took off your underwear. "There she is," he spreads your pussy with his other hand as the vibrator stimulates you on low. "So wet, all for me?" He teased and slowly inserted his ring and middle finger, instantly reaching deep into places you've never reached before. He heightened the sensation even more by increasing the intensity of the vibrator and you muffled your moans in the crook of his neck, taking in his natural scent, all while he made you come.
You stayed like this for awhile and he licked the juices of his fingers, "you did so well baby, thank you, thank you," and he pressed a gentle kiss on your forehead.
You know how people say a crush is just a lack of information? Well, you knew more about Jeno than you needed, and boy were you in trouble. If you were down bad for him before you got to know him when he was a mere stranger, now was even worse after getting to know him. The lines between what was real and what was fake blurred as you spent more time with each other. It felt like he was truly in a relationship with you, no facade, no pretending, just you.Each moment spent together meant falling deeper and deeper for Jeno. You knew he preferred staying in and in-door dates but he also knew you enjoyed going to new places so he would always go with you. From pottery dates to, to gym dates, to him teasing you to go to a cat cafe when he absolutely knew that you were scared of cats to the hours tangled in bed. There was also the hour-long calls whenever he was at an away game, and the late night drives in between your busy schedules. Even your friends warmed up to him and allowed his presence for your group karaoke night.
It was hour two of your karaoke session and Jeno still had not grabbed the microphone the entire night, he instead drowned himself with a fizzy drink everytime someone offered it to him. "Let's sing together," you pulled his hand since you knew he was shy when it came to these things but he stubbornly shook his head.
"I can't sing." He gave a pathetic excuse and planted his butt to the faux leather booth.
"None of us can," just then, Wonjin and Taerae harmonised a melodious high note to Taeyeon's I. "Well, most of us."
"Let me be your fan," and he pushed you to the stage while he snacked on some of the nachos. He would rather watch you sing and have fun with your friends than ever go on stage.
"Boo," you gave a thumbs down and playfully stuck out your tongue, "you're no fun."
And gosh, the number of times he's tried to drag you to the locker room shower with him when it was empty after his games or a workout session.
You scrolled on your phone as he changed to a fresh pair of shirt and sweats from his locker. Today he was unsuccessful in getting you in the shower with him because you had just washed your hair and you weren't about to do it all over again. You thought you were safe from the water demon but he playfully splashed some on you before you left the bathroom. So you brewed up a petty revenge plan to get back at him for splashing you with the tiniest drop of water. "Have you every thought what it would be like to be athletic?" You turned to him.
"Hmm?" He tilted his head to the side now that he was dressed in fresh clothes. "I am athletic," he said without a thought.
"No, I mean athletic athletic," you emphasised.
"I am athletic," he poked his tongue against his cheek and sat down on the bench, dragging you on his lap. "I play ice hockey competitively, cycle on weekends, lift weights five times a week, and hike up mountains."
You faced him as you settled yourself comfortably on his lap. "Sure, I guess," you cocked your eyebrows in doubt. "But don't you wish could do more?"
Jeno smirked, seeing right through your facade but decided to play along. "I guess I'm not athletic enough." He gripped your hips and you humped him dry. He snaked his hand down your pussy, "already wet, huh?" You wanted to wipe off the cocky smirk off his face but his fingers felt too good playing with your pussy and pinching your clit. He took off your pants and panties and dropped it on the dirty floor, whereas he only pulled down his sweats down his thigh and squished your boobs like a stresss ball, "ride me," he slapped your ass and shoved your perfect tits in his mouth, sucking and biting them.
You sinked into his tip and was already groaning from feeling of fullness and he wasn't even all the way in. It took a bit of trial and error but you had learnt to take it in slow first and let his cock just sink in you. Inch by inch he was filling you up with is huge cock and you whined when he was only half way inside of you.
Jeno alternated between soft licks and harsh sucks on your nipple, tonguing and moaning over your delicious boobs and leaving bites all over it. He let out a delicious groaned when he felt that he was fully in you and leaned even further back against the metal locker. You felt him twitch inside of you and rocked your hips against his; alternating between swirling your hips in a pattern and bouncing on his hard dick up and down, using his broad shoulders as an anchor. He licked all the to your neck and you moaned when he found and sucked on your sensitive spot, making to leave bruises in the process. He slapped your ass, "faster baby," unsatisfied with your slow pace so like the good girl you were, you bounced even faster on his dick, with your breast jiggling deliciously right in front of his face, until your thighs were burning from the intense pace. Pleasure coiled in your stomach, almost reaching that satisfying feeling but not quite there yet, and grinded on him instead.
Jeno exchanged starved kisses with you and sucked your tongue into his. "Jenoneno, I'm tired," you whined as you broke of the kiss and gave him your best puppy-like eyes, silently begging him to take over like he usually does.
He laughed and spanked your ass again, "what a brat silly girl, you're going to make yourself come on me," he mocked a condescending pout.
You cried on Jeno's shoulder, "please, I'm so tired, want to come," lazily grinding on him.
"Awww baby, you want to come?" His sweet voice dripped with threat, "what to do? I'm not fucking athletic like you said so fucking bounce if you want to come," he rasped in a low voice which made you even wetter.
Jeno watched you struggle as he loosely held onto your hips but not aiding it in any shape or form; you whined at the pain and fullness of his cock, regretting ragebaiting him, but did as he told despite the achiness of your burning thigh. "Please Jeno," your cries echoed in the empty locker room, "want to come, please, please, please," you begged and begged, desperate for release, but you were only met with a patronising attitude of the said man.
"Hmm," he hummed as if his dick wasn't also twitching and reaching a point of orgasm, "say you're sorry and do it well," and squeezed your ass.
You were desperate for anything at this point, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, you're strong and athletic, please, please, Jeno, I need you," you whined in one go.
Somewhat satisfied with your apology, Jeno places a firm hand on your hips, and thursted you till you were seeing stars and only his name slipped out of your lips. He peppered sweet kisses all over your face, tucked a lock of hair behind your ear, before pressing your lips into a melt-worthy kiss. "Thank you pretty girl, you did so well," and sprinkled more compliments and kisses like you were the only thing that mattered.
There was a drop in the pit of your stomach to the days leading to your "breakup." The kisses were sweeter and you never wanted to untangled yourself from him, and he never did. There was a small hope in the corner of your heart that believed that maybe Jeno had fallen for you and what you had with each other was beyond than what meets the eyes. Especially the way he embraced you in your warm bed, whispered sweet nothings in your ear, and moaned out delectable sounds that you would no longer witness. The day of the breakup approached, money was transferred to your account, and until the last second till you bid goodbye to your relationship, you had hoped Jeno had a change of heart. About you. About anything. Of course he left with easy footsteps, he always knew what he wanted. The least embarrassing thing you did for yourself was that you kept your bittersweet dignity even though so many questions and words ran through the back of your mind, what about us?
Jeno stared at the blank ceiling, his fingers tapped on his chest, slow and restrained, but they were itching to reach his phone. Another sleepless night after a battle of tossing and turning where his thoughts were his only companion. No, he cannot use his phone. If he used his phone, the first thing he wanted to do was text, no, call you, and hear your sweet voice for hours on end. There was an unfamiliar hollow ache that pained his chest ever since you two went your separate ways. It was all he ever asked for, a simple breakup; you both split the money, and he kept his motorbike safe from Chenle's reckless hands. There was even a cheery smile on your face when you parted ways. So why does it fucking hurt? At this point he didn't even fucking care if he lost the bet, lost his motorbike, if it meant that he wouldn't be losing you.
Why was it that every fibre in his cell refused to move away from you when you went your separate ways? For the first time in his life, his mind and his body were two separate entities: his mind was relieved that it was over while his body screamed at him to not let you go. He had walked away from plenty of girls with a light heart whenever they crossed a line but his footsteps were heavy when you both parted, he looked back secretly hoping you would do the same. However, you did exactly what he wanted, or what he thought he wanted, and made a clean exit without looking back at him - he walked with heavy footsteps that day.
His phone notification lit up with every ping! sound but he ignored them all because it wasn't the notification sound he had for you. The news spread like wildfire that the Lee Jeno was newly single again, he had constantly been receiving dms and personal messages from various people whom he had never even met. Prior to meeting you, maybe he would've been opened to entertaining one or two of them but now he's so fucking repulsed by the thought of being with anyone other than you. True to your words, the story you gave was that you broke it off with him because you weren't right for each other - a simple reason without tarnishing either one's reputation. Fuck that. Not right for each other? Did all those long calls and late night drive meant nothing to you? Were you not right for each other when…
Jeno got up from his bed and went downstairs for a midnight refresher, something to get his mind off you. His friends tried to cheer him up by setting him up on a blind date or take him clubbing like they used to when his routine only consisted of: class, practice, game, and dorm. But he refused all of their advances and preferred to sulked in the comfort of his room. A classic tale of someone going through a breakup. Instead, he was greeted with the delightful sight of Sungchan and Shuhua acting all lovey dovey with each other, and baking cookies in the middle of the night, making the air smell of comfort and warm vanilla. Yuck! He was sick. Ugh. It annoyed him seeing Sungchan with his girlfriend nowadays. Always on late night calls giggling and whispering about his day, and the exaggerated cries when he talks about his injuries, while Jeno's trying to go to sleep; no one needs to hear that, Sungchan!
"Hey, can't sleep?" Sungchan greeted Jeno as he opened the fridge door.
"Yeah," Jeno mumbled and scanned around the fridge until he spotted his zero calorie soda can in the fridge.
"Hey Jeno, want some cookies? We just baked a fresh batch." Shuahua boxed away the fresh cookies in an open container as the other batch bake in the oven for the time being.
"Sure, thanks." Jeno grabbed a cookie from the container and bit into it - it was delicious. But he knew that if you were the one to taste it, you would say something along the lines of, the chocolate chips melted perfectly into the buttery dough and it was the best kind of cookie because it was a crispy chocolate cookie and not a chewy one. Sungchan and Shuhua exchanged concerned looks as they watched a wistful smile formed on Jeno's face while he puts the cookie down. "It's good," he muttered.
"Have some more," Shuhua pushed the container across the kitchen counter.
"No, thanks." Jeno shook his head and raised his can, "just this for me." He was about to go back to his bed and mull over you and his thoughts until morning comes until Sungchan muttered something to Shuhua under his breath.
"We should set him up on a date like yn," Sungchan mumbled to Shuhua, "like kidnap or trick him into going."
"Did you just say yn's going on a date?" Jeno asked, checking to see if he heard it correctly the first time.
Sungchan's eyes popped wide opened, "n-no, I said what's today's date?" Sungchan covered up with a nervous laugh.
"Ok," Jeno eyed Sungchan suspiciously and left the kitchen but hid behind a wall near a kitchen.
"Oof," Sungchan wiped away an invisible sweat, "babe, imagine if he found out yn is going on a date." Sungchan said it loud and clear to Shuhua.
"So she is going on a date," Jeno appeared in the kitchen with a clenched jaw.
"Idiot! You weren't supposed to say anything," she whispered-scolded Sungchan and slapped him on his arm.
"Shit," Sungchan panicked.
"What date?" Jeno asked warily.
"I heard this guy in her music club or something asked her out." Sungchan replied.
"Oh," Jeno processed the information given to him, "with whom? Where? When?"
"You gotta ask the birdie here," Sungchan pointed his thumbs towards Shuhua.
"So, who's the guy?" Jeno asked her.
"Sorry Jeno," Shuhua shrugged and opened the oven because the cookies were done baking, "girl code."
"Ouch," Shuhua dropped the pan on the kitchen since she accidentally touched the hot metal pan without mitten gloves.
"Aw baby," Sungchan cooed and kissed Shuhua's fingertips, lost in each other and had forgotten about Jeno's presence.
As much as Sungchan annoyed him by flaunting his relationship, Sungchan made Jeno realised that he wanted a relationship with you; all the romance, the dates, the cuddling in bed, arguing but always coming back to each other at the end of the day. It made him puked imagining a life without you.
The only problem was that Jeno didn't know how to do relationships: the romance, the dating. He just did what came natural to him and all he knew was that he hated the thought of of another guy being intimate and getting to know you like he did.
Jeno scoffed when he spotted you and the other guy at 90's Love. It's our spot. Fine, if Shuhua didn't want to give him the details of your date, fine by him. Jokes on her because he knew your entire schedule by heart and waited till you were done with your class for the day and discreetly followed you with Mark's car that he had borrowed for the day.
He hid in the car and watched as you took the booth by the window. The guy you were with was tall and some might even say good looking but who knows. Everything seemed normal at first, you were chatting with the other guy, maybe a bit too happily, but it all changed for Jeno when he saw the guy laughed a bit too hard and wiped your mouth with a napkin and he dashed right in the diner.
"Thank you Zhang Hao," you took the napkin from him, a bit uncomfortable from the sudden touch.
"You're welcome yn." He flashed a gentle smile, "how do you like your food?"
"It's great," you reciprocated the same energy but being here on a date with another guy just felt wrong. It was your to-go spot with Jeno: whenever you were bored, needed a pick me up, or was just craving their delicious strawberry milkshake.
"Thank you for going on this date with me," he blushed shyly, "if I'm being honest, I wasn't sure if you were going to say yes considering it hasn't been that long since your breakup."
You sipped your strawberry milkshake, "you're surprised? I'm surprised you're even sitting down with me because you're always so busy with the club, music, and the student council." You strayed the topic away from Jeno, "like how do you do it all?"
"Do I seem like a loser?" He bit his lips while he gave you a shy smile.
"No, it's cute," you teased him. This was the first time that you had talked to Zhang Hao outside of the music club, you guys would usually say hi to each other or make small talk before practice began but that was it, so it came a bit of a surprise when he asked you out and you thought it would be nice to move on from Jeno after all these. Zhang Hao was a sweetheart, comfortable, and maybe in another universe you would've fallen for him, unfortunately, no butterflies swirled around your stomach when you're with him - just indifference.
Out of nowhere, Jeno entered the diner, slid into your booth, sat beside you, and sipped on your strawberry milkshake like you were still a couple.
"Hi," you glanced at Zhang Hao and Jeno.
"Hey, oh! You got my favourite loaded fries." He made himself comfortable and ate a couple of fries.
"Jeno, um, we're kind of in the middle of a date," you cleared your throat and looked nervously at Zhang Hao, unsure of what was going on.
"How rude of me," he wiped his oily hand on the napkin and extended his hand for a handshake, "Jeno, boyfriend."
Zhang Hao accepted his handshake with confusion, "Zhang Hao," wondering if he heard Jeno say boyfriend or boy friend.
"Boy," you paused for emphasis, "friend."
"Boyfriend," he stated again and took a bite out of your burger. "Ooh, you got my burger order, this is the good stuff."
Zhang Hao stared with his jaw dropped and looked hesitantly between you and Jeno, too scared and confused to say anything. So you stepped up, "can you excuse me for one second Zhang Hao? I just need to talk to Jeno for a bit." and went outside the diner with Jeno who flashed a smug smile at Zhang Hao.
You pulled Jeno to a secluded corner to have a private conversation and crossed your arms, "what's going on Jeno? I've never seen you act like this."
Jeno contemplated for awhile about how he wanted to say what he wanted to say but decided on the straight truth, "yn, I didn't realised this until after our whole deal was done, but I like you and when I heard you were going on a date with another guy that wasn't me, it pissed me off because I want to be that guy. I want to be your," Jeno gazed at you with sincere eyes, "boyfriend," he breathed out the last word.
Your shoulders dropped and your head titled with furrowed eyebrows. "Jeno, listen, I like you too," you started off and there was a gleam of hope in his eyes, "and I enjoyed our time together regardless of the bet," his lips tugged upwards, "but I don't think you like me."
His lips frowned and his heart dropped. "Are you telling me how to feel about you?" A bit confused with your response.
"No, well yeah, well - ok, let me ask you this, sex out of the way, have you ever dated anyone seriously? or spent time with any of the girls you used to hook up with?" You uncrossed your arms and explained.
"No." He admitted.
"Why?"
"I just never did," he shrugged his shoulders, "but I want to be in a relationship with you, you're different from other girls."
Your lips pressed into a thin line, "I'm exactly like other girls. The only difference between me and them is that you actually took the time to get to know me - well, forcibly, but I stand by my point."
"Ok?" He was still confused.
"All I'm saying is that all of this was a coincidence. If it was someone else who ordered the iced peach lemon tea or whatever drink or if you actually got to know the person you fooled around with, you would be confessing to her and not me." There was a pregnant pause. "I just happened to be the girl in this position," you muttered the last sentence.
He shook his head. "So?" He said almost a bit too blunt for your taste. "It doesn't matter because, at the end of the day, you're the one that I got to know."
Your voice cracked with a shallow breath, "Fine then, maybe there's still this unconscious guilt inside of you from hitting me." You tried reasoning with Jeno but you knew deep down that it was for you. It wasn't my possible for Jeno to fall in love with you because he doesn't fall for people and you were an anamoly. Even if was spelling it out for you. Because if you did end up dating him, the crack in your heart will never heal at the inevitability of him, eventually, moving to the next person. This was the only way to protect you from a disastrous heartache. "I forgive you Jeno and I know it was an accident. Water under the bridge. I'm all healed now and you even took me out to lunch the first time we talked to each other because you felt bad. You don't owe me anything anymore nor do I owe you anything." You stood firm on your ground, "take care Jeno," you bid goodbye before you entered the diner to resume your date with Zhang Hao.
Jeno stayed silent even after you left, contemplating and processing your words. The logical part of him agreed with you that it was just the time spent together that made him fall in love with you, but the thing that bothered him the most? Your unwavering reaction to his confession. Maybe you truly didn't see him beyond a friend and a fuck, and maybe, he never truly stood a chance to be with you. He should've known it wasn't going to be easy because all these years asking the universe for a clean goodbye, you served it to him on a silver platter.
It was the Premiere Day showcasing all the films in the auditorium. Professor Sooyoung had booked out the auditorium so all your classmates can enjoy the fruits of your labour together and even opened it up to the public so any student can join in and watch as well. You sat in the middle row beside your friend with the charm bracelet, excited to watch everyone's film.
"Did you invite anyone else?" She asked.
"Yeah I did, they couldn't make though because they all have class but it's ok since we already watched it together. How about you?" You scanned around the room looking for a particular individual but there were no signs of him. Despite the last interaction with Jeno, you had invited him to the Premiere Day since it was his film too. He deserved it. But he never responded to your text so you weren't sure if he was going to be here or not.
"Same, they have lab today." She replied, "is Jeno coming?" She asked.
You slummed your shoulders with disappointment, "I'm not sure," pretending like it hasn't affected you.
The winner for the local competition was announced a couple of days ago, unfortunately, you didn't win but your Professor liked it, so only that mattered. Soon after, the chatter died down, the lights dimmed out, and screen light flashed up - Everyone's eyes were focused on the moving screen in front of them.
In between the films showcasing, Jeno slipped into the auditorium and sat in the back seat with his hoodie up and a cap that covered the top half of his face. Even in the vast darkness of the auditorium, he easily recognized the back of your head, his eyes naturally gravitates towards you. The whole place was quiet except for the sounds that came from the screen, and the people beside him who were munching on their food too loudly. For the first time since he entered the auditorium, he turned his head to the left side, instead of staring at you, to politely asked them to quiet down only to met with a familiar face. "Haechan?" Jeno whispered, "what are you doing here?"
"Watching the films, duh," he obnoxiously shoved in another pack of chips in his mouth.
"Don't you have class right now?" Jeno asked himz
"We all ditched," Sungchan whispered.
"Sungchan?" Jeno was taken back to see another friend of his in the auditorium.
"When is yours going to show?" Serim asked.
"Yeah dude, I'm dying to watch it," Mark added in a bit too loud.
"Just shhh," he placed his index over his lips with a stern face but they ignored him and kept on whispering to each other in the back row.
Your heart drummed when the next film opens to a sound you've heard a million times while editing to the point you got so sick of it - you wanted to be free from the shackles you had created. It was torturous to edit something you once loved so much and all the memories attached with it, only for it to be bittersweet at the end.
The film opened with Jeno taking off his hockey gear in the locker room, you noticed everyone's eyes were locked in as they leaned forward in their seats as Jeno pulledoff his shirt, revealing his toned abs, and you swear you heard someone audibly gulped at the sight of Jeno topless. Yes! Baited!
"Fuck, you look hot man," Haechan whispered-hollered at Jeno and all the guys joined in.
"Just shut up and watch," Jeno rolled his eyes, feeling embarrassed to watch himself like this in front of an audience.
"Ooh, Mr.Actor thinks he's a hotshot," Sungchan mocked.
All the sweet memories flooded in Jeno's mind as he watched the film to the very end. Even though you had shared the final version with him before you submitted it, he didn't have the heart to watch it, and when you texted him about today, he never planned on showing up but his body betrayed his intention. All those hours spent on filming, editing, and complaining was worth it because chills went through his body when his character died in the pool. That day in the pool changed everything.
"Brooo, you can act," Mark patted Jeno on the back even though he was a couple of seats away.
"Goosebumps. Literal goosebumps," Serim commented, "I'm not sleeping by myself tonight.
While that was happening, in the middle aisle where you were sitting with your friend, you were feeling shy from all the compliments that your friend threw at you. "That was incredible!" She gushed over your video, "the hook scene with Jeno and I don't even like him like that! If I were you, I would've kept that to myself." She joked.
"Sharing is caring," you joked back. Once more, you glanced around the auditorium now that the lights slowly came back to life, looking for the main character of your video. Your eyes fixated on the back row, a bit surprised to see them, where you spotted Haechan, Sungchan, Serim, and Mark eating packs of snacks. Then, your eyes caught onto the silhouette with the hoodie and the cap, his face was covered but you had a feeling it was-
"Hold on!" A voice boomed from the stage and a figure emerged from the shadows of the stage with a microphone. You turned your attention back to the stage as the chatter died down once again. "That was an interesting film." Keeho commanded the stage and stared directly at you. Only for you to glanced at your friend, giving each other a, "what's going on look?" considering you've never even had a conversation with Keeho.
"Or was it a real-life-soon-to-happen documentary?" He dramatically continued on stage and people murmured in confusion at his accusation. Your friend held your hand as you sat up straighter and your eyebrows furrowed into confusion - an anxious, inkling feeling pricked through your bones. "This film was not fictional. It was her fantasy." He cackled evilly, "that's going to become her reality."
Keeho pressed a small remote in his pocket which changed the screen from your film to a familiar notebook that you had lost awhile ago, your Jeno Journal. Oh no! You stayed frozen as sweats formed around your temples and heart started racing. The screen flashed all your most embarrassing, inner thoughts for everyone to see: Jeno please notice me, he smells so nice I wonder what shampoo he uses, let me lick his fresh sweats, practically soulmates cuz we like the same brand of gummy bear, hehe going to the cafe library cuz I know hes there to get an iced americano, hes wearing jeans today so no practice for him, and much, much more.
A fusion of anger and embarrassment furled inside of you because these were your private thoughts that belonged to only you, and instead, Keeho, however he found the notebook, violated your privacy and made it his entertainment. Your fingers curled up into a tight fist and you got up from the seat at the same time as your friend; you weren't sure if you wanted to confront Keeho or leave the place, all you knew was that you needed to do something. Before you could even decide which action to take, someone had jumped on stage and punched Keeho in the face. Oof. The sound was not pretty. It was Jeno; his hoodie was down and his cap flew off somewhere. Jeno yanked the remote off Keeho and switched off the screen, leaving it white and blank.
"Ouch, that hurts," Keeho wiped away the blood that oozed out of the corner of his lips.
Jeno ignored Keeho's comment, and without a problem, trapped him in a headlocked on the stage floor. Some took out their phones and recorded the brawl, including his own friends, some gasped in shocked, while others chanted, "fight!" "fight!" repeatedly. Whereas you stood in complete bewilderment at the scene in front of you.
"Do you want to leave?" Your friend was concerned at how fast the situation escalated.
You appreciated the way she was still holding your hand, "no," you whispered back.
"Give back the book and apologise to her," Jeno headlocked him even tighter against his hold, not tight enough to cause him any damage but tight enough to know that he was serious about his threat, as Keeho gasped for air, his hands tapping out.
"O-okay," he gasped out before Jeno loosened his hold on him.
"Journal, now." Jeno demanded and glared his eyes at him as they both stood up and faced each other. Only now that anger had melted off a bit, Jeno realised that people were recording and watching him as he stood under the stage light. The thing he hated most was unwanted attention and here he was, not caring about any of it, and only cared about you.
"Fine," Keeho took out the small notebook from his back pocket and displayed it in front of him and pulled in a smirked, "just so you know, I would call the police if I were you because the things that she has written in the note-,"
Jeno clenched his jaw and poked his tongue against the inside of his cheek, and cracked his fingers. With menacing steps, he approached Keeho to headlock him again but Keeho was already down on his knees begging for mercy.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he begged for forgiveness.
Jeno rolled his eyes at him and snatched the notebook sfrom him. "Why did you do this?" His voice still dropped with threat.
"It's because you lied to me. You weren't the model for my portrait? Fine. But you said that you would help me the next but didn't! You lied to me! You were already filming with her instead of me." Keeho cried out his reasons.
"Shouldn't you be attacking me instead of her?" Jeno asked, a bit confused. "And, she asked me first."
"Oh." A moment of realisation hit Keeho. "It is what it is?" He offered an awkward laughed.
"Booo you whore." Haechan yelled Keeho.
"Stop shaming woman!" Someone from the crowd shouted.
"Get outta here!" Sungchan booed.
"He doesn't even go here!" Mark howled.
"Misogynistic pig!" Your friend piped up.
"Apologise to her!" Serim yelled.
"We all want to lick his sweat!" Someone else screamed.
The entire crowd booed at Keeho and chanted, "apologise! Apologise!" repeatedly. Jeno himself bunched Keeho's shirt and dragged him down the stage to where you were standing with your friend. He shoved Keeho down on his knees in front of you, "apologise," Jeno demanded once again.
"I'm sorry," Keeho muttered.
"Louder," Jeno ordered, "she can barely hear you."
Keeho cleared his throat, "I'm sorry for invading your privacy and putting it up on public display."
"I don't forgive you but I don't ever want this to happen again, to me or anyone else." You replied.
"Now scram," Jeno said. The crowd cheered when Keeho scurried out of the auditorium, but not without tripping himself first.
"And this belongs to you," Jeno handed you the small black notebook to you.
"Thank you, Jeno," and your hand lingered on each other while the book was passed to you.
"Yo Jeno, what shampoo do you use?" A voice asked from the crowd, breaking the moment between the two of you.
He looked around awkwardly at the crowd who were waiting for his response, "apple scented," he commented. A chorus of "ahs" echoed.
"What brand?" Someone else asked.
"A five-in-one." There were audible gasps of disappointment that echoed throughout the small auditorium.
The crowd left excited, sharing more gossips with each other after the whole debacle died down as they exited the auditorium. "Wanna go get a little pick me up?" Your friend asked.
"Can I take a rain check? I need to do something first."
"Ok, see you!" You hugged your friend goodbye and she disappeared into the long hallway. Whereas you waited outside of the auditorium, in the corner, for Jeno to exit the premise. A minute later, Jeno showed up at the exit door and you pulled his hand to get his attention. "Jeno, can we talk for a minute?"
Jeno was taken aback but he nodded in agreement, "sure."
"Ohhh, they're getting back together," Mark teased and the other guys followed suit with the teasing.
"Privately," you whispered to Jeno, your hand was still holding his.
They were never going to let this down. They were ruining the moment he was having with you so he sent them death glares.
"Guys stop it, he's going to smack us down in front of people," Haechan teased some more and they ran away while laughing.
You pulled Jeno to a secluded corner where people rarely passed by. You were the first one to pull your hand away from his, "thank you for standing up for me."
"That was a fucked up thing for him to do," Jeno shoved his hands in the pockets of his hoodie.
You handed the journal to him. "This belongs to you because no matter how much I think about it, I shouldn't have done that to you even if it was for myself. It was wrong of me and I'm sorry Jeno," and waited for him to take the journal but his hands were still in his pockets.
He took out his hands from pockets and stepped forward, "what are you sorry for?" He leaned his face closer to yours.
"I'm sorry for writing all those things about you."
There was a smug smile on his face, "what things?" and leaned in even closer until you were a teasing breath away from him, his eyes flicked from your eyes to your lips.
You pulled your head back a bit from Jeno, feeling a bit hot from the sudden tension, "for - um - writing inappropriate things and stalking your schedule, and," your eyes flickered from his eyes to his lips back to his eyes. "And - and,"
Jeno lifted your chin up towards him and pulled your waist closer towards him, and he kissed you on the lips; unspoken words between the two of you was translated in a singular moment of passion, guilt, and love. You missed him terrribly and so did he.
"I've missed you, I've missed you, I've missed you," he muttered on your lips.
"You're not mad at me?" You asked him while the journal was in between you two.
"I am mad at you," Jeno remarked lightly. You pouted a guilty look and looked down to the ground but Jeno pulled you to his again. "I'm mad at you for not telling the truth."
You avoided his eye intense gaze. "I'm sorry J-"
"I'm mad at you for not being honest about your feelings with me. The truth that you liked me." He cupped your face in his hands, not letting you get away. "I'm mad at you for pushing me away. Why?" His last word carried a heavy weight.
"Because you said to not fall in love with you, and I already was," you explained, "and because you don't do relationships."
"And I was an idiot for that," he leaned his forehead against yours and intertwined your hands with his. God, did he miss playing with your hands. "I only did what I did on stage because of you. I wouldn't have done it for anyone else," he said, removing any doubts you had of his love and affection for you. "Please give me a chance to prove you wrong. Let's give us a chance, for real this time."
Your eyes flickered with the tiniest bit of hesitation. "I appreciate you, I really do but-"
"Forget about everything else, just tell me you want this as much I want you?" His eyes pleaded with desperation.
You offered a quiet hum at first, secretly making Jeno nervous at your silence. "We can give us a try," you said after much deliberation.
With the softest touch, he flicked the side of your head and kissed it. "We could've had this sooner, silly girl." He embraced you in a warm hug and whispered down to you, "now, what else did my favourite pervert write in the journal?"
"Not a pervert," heat crawled up your entire body so you hid your face in Jeno's chest and let out a small sound of embarrassment.
"It's fine, I'm a bigger pervert than you are," Jeno let out a hearty laughed. You were it for Jeno.
"One more time." Jeno angled the poloroid in front of you since you were perched on his lap.
"Again?" You sipped on your iced peach lemon tea and placed it back in the middle console.
"Yes, sit still and look pretty for me." He said in a serious tone.
"My favourite couple!" Chenle came running to the car on the gravelled road with his huge suitcase and sunglasses perched on his head. "Me too! I wanna join!" He saw the way you both were cuddled up and was envious that you both were taking pictures without him. "I wanna take pictures too!" Chenle attempted to climb on Jeno's lap in the crowded seat but Jeno pushed him away, accidentally a bit too hard, and Chenle fell on the gravelled ground. "Shit, that hurts." There was the tiniest cut on the palm of his hand and he looked like he was on the verge of tears.
"Jeno," you lightly scolded him, only for him to frowned a little.
Feeling guilty from the way he accidentally pushed Chenle a bit too roughly, he patted his other thigh with a defeated look. "Come on, Chenle. I didn't mean to push you hard." Chenle climbed on top of Jeno like an excited puppy and made himself comfortable on his lap, "oof," Jeno grunted when Chenle sat his full body weight on Jeno; two people were now on his lap, you on the right and Chenle on the left,
"Yay!" Chenle caressed Jeno's pecs over his shirt and felt up his biceps.
You flicked away Chenle's hands on Jeno's body. "Don't touch my man."
"I knew him first!" Jeno moved his ear away from Chenle and wiped off the splattered saliva from him.
"Say that a bit louder, I don't think we heard you." Jeno dryly remarked.
Chenle melted even more against Jeno's chest and noticed a, small but sparkling, "J" neck on you. "Nice necklace," he commented.
"Thanks!" You showed off the pretty necklace to Chenle. "Jeno got it for me." This kind of necklace wasn't your favourite but Jeno looked so cute and nervous before he gave it to you that you started loving it because of the meaning behind it.
"Looks expensive," Chenle noted the beautiful shimmer of the necklace.
"Yeah, used the bet money to buy this pretty little thing." Jeno squeezed your hip with one hand.
Chenle snorted. "All of it?"
"Well, half had to go to her," Jeno feigned a heartache as he nuzzled into you closer with a pout, "just for her to spend it on some boy band."
You slapped his chest, "it was vip tickets for The Visionary!"
"What?! What do you mean half had to go to her?" Chenle shouted even louder than last time which made Jeno flinched - he knows who to blame if he ever goes deaf one day.
"I owed her that money, a deal is a deal," Jeno interlocked your hands with his and played with your fingers and ignored the numbing sensation on his left thigh.
"You knew it was a bet?!" Chenle shouted again.
"Yeah." You nodded nonchalantly and leaned your head on Jeno's shoulder.
"Since when? Towards the end?"
"Since day one." You replied.
"And you agreed to it?" Chenle asked.
"It was easy money." You rolled your eyes. "We pretended to date so he could keep his bike," you rolled your eyes, "and see other girls."
"You're the only one for me now," Jeno kissed your knuckles.
"Not to ruin this barf-worthy, sappy moment but you cheated Jeno Lee!" He yelled at him again. "It means you owe me your motorbike! And my money back!"
"If you can ride it, you can take it." Jeno shrugged off Chenle's attitude. "But I already spent all your money."
"Shut up." Chenle was fuming and crossed his arms. "So, I won but it doesn't feel like I won."
"Yeah, I'm the winner." Jeno smirked a cocky smile at Chenle who was still whining, "come on, don't be a sore loser."
"Yeah, you're the loser here." You playfully snickered and made the letter L with your fingers and Jeno joined in on the teasing saying that he was a loser.
On the surface, Chenle sulked and complained like a true sore loser, however, he held back a victorious smirked because what you and Jeno both didn't know was that he, Chenle, was the real winner.
The university ice hockey team had won yet another game and everyone in the stand cheered with excitement. "We won! We won!" Chenle cheered for his hockey friends and jumped up and down with you, Yeji, Ryujin, Wonjin, and Taerae. All of your faces were covered with the university's colour, courtesy of Ryujin. The cheers didn't die down until minutes later because it was the first win of the season, but soon after, people left the hockey arena one by one in an orderly fashion. Most people would just leave the area but some students would stop and take pictures with their favourite player.
"Wait guys, I'll meet you at the exit, I wanna say hi to my hockey friends," Chenle waved at hockey team and skipped towards them.
You squatted down and set your iced peach lemon tea drink beside you, and unlaced your shoelaces even though it was originally perfectly tight and intact.
"Are you coming?" Yeji turned back when she realised you weren't beside them.
"Yeah, go ahead, just tying my shoelaces," you laced up your shoelaces at a very purposeful snail pace as you stole glances of people taking pictures with your favourite player, and secret crush, Lee Jeno. He had freshly dyed his hair dark blue and politely took pictures with everyone who asked for them. Even if some of them were a bit too touchy or a bit aggressive with their touch, Jeno brushed it off with his signature eye smile. At every game you've been to, you had often debated to ask for a picture with Jeno but always chickened out once you saw just how many girls waited and lined up for him. That was part of the reason your crush on him grew bigger, he was always so kind and nice to others despite his looks - although, romantic relationships was not in his dictionary.
Maybe this time? The crowd had already thinned out so you wouldn't be embarrassing yourself and he was already taking pictures with other people so he would most likely take it with you too. You tied up your shoelaces with courage, picked up your drink and stood up from your spot; your feet angled towards the icy rink but you froze when you saw that smile in his eyes, a different smile, the kind that looked like he just fell in love and was on cloud nine, while talking to a girl. With a defeated spirit, you slummed towards the exit. Again.
What you had failed to noticed as you walked out the place was that Chenle was watching your every move. Like clockwork, you always exited the area later than your friends because of your shoes but he never understood that because your laces were perfectly tight and laced up whenever he looked down at them. Out of curiosity, he followed your line of vision and it landed right on Jeno. Ah. He saw how your eyes glimmered at the sight of Jeno and a plan evilly brewed inside his head.
It’s such a bittersweet feeling that this is finally out there because this fanfic, for some reason, I had a lot of ups and downs with it and it didn’t have anything to do with me struggling with the plot line or the characters. The original draft was written awhile ago but I stopped and let it marinate because I didn’t like where the story was headed and wasn’t a big fan of the character. I let the fanfic collect dust with the intention of revamping it one day but I never did so I accepted the fate that it would die and simply be gone. Then I started writing the other Jeno fanfics and was struck with inspiration to revamp the entire thing and I did it! But in between all the writing and editing, there was a lot of doubt and negative attachment towards this for some reason??? Like I can’t even explain it cuz I also don’t know what it is 😭 whatever it is, I thought about dumping and deleting the story halfway when I was done but for some odd reason, I didn’t dump it, and continued working on it. Anyways, thank you if you’ve read this absolutely mess about a person stressing over a silly fanfic and thank u @neowinestainedress for supporting this nothingburger! And thank u for taking ur time to read this fanfic and I really do hope u all enjoyed it despite whatever feelings I have towards it! I always get so happy when ppl share their thoughts about the fanfic with me 💗.
Summary: Just as you moved into your new apartment, you had one rule: don’t get involved with anyone. Work, sleep, repeat—that was the plan. But destiny had other ideas, placing the most infuriating, irresistible neighbor right next door, ready to turn your life upside down.
Tw?: explicit sexual scenes, emotional abuse, prolonged conflict and avoidance, family conflict, anger, shouting, and intense arguments, fire, property damage, strong language
Pairing: jaehyun x reader
Word Count: 23k
Author’s Note; I have this story in the works since January of 2023 and I just finished it :) I hope you like it because I LOVE IT 😁 it’s also not proofread and it might have some plot holes but work with me pls 🥹
Finding a place to rent these days? Nightmare. It took you three months to land an apartment that was actually worth your money and didn’t make you want to scream. Moving in, though? A dream. Space to yourself, freedom to do whatever you wanted—goodbye, years of awkward roommate drama. You’d worked hard for this, and it felt amazing.
Everything was perfect. Gorgeous apartment, good job, life basically handing you a little slice of happiness.
;
And then there was him. Jeong Jaehyun. That walking disaster of a neighbor. You didn’t hate easily—you’d always thought it was a waste of energy. But him? He tested every ounce of patience you had. Seriously, if aggravation was an Olympic sport, he’d have a gold medal.
So you did what any sane person would: avoided him like the plague. Every hallway encounter, every elevator ride—strategically ignored. Yet somehow, he always found a way to drive you absolutely insane. It was like he had a sixth sense for exactly how to get under your skin.
And yeah… you had to admit it. With a mix of shame and defeat, your stupid, infuriating, headache-inducing neighbor? Ridiculously good-looking. Fine, you’d give him that. But beauty didn’t cancel out his behavior. He was rude, obnoxious, and had zero manners. Basically, a nightmare wrapped in a ridiculously hot package. Honestly, how was it even fair that someone could look like a calendar model while also being a complete terror?
You told yourself firmly: “Do not get involved. Do not even THINK about him.” And yet, the universe had clearly decided your stubborn little heart needed a challenge. Jeong Jaehyun, congratulations—you were officially the worst thing to happen to a perfectly happy life.
As you exited the elevator, you spotted him—Jaehyun—leaning against the wall, scrolling through his phone with that bored, infuriating expression he had perfected since the day you moved in. You should’ve kept walking. You really should’ve.
But he lifted his eyes the second he sensed you, like a shark smelling blood.
Perfect.
You walked past him, head high, pretending not to notice.
“Hold up,” he said lazily, stepping right into your path. “You’re going to just walk by without saying hello? Rude.”
“Move, Jeong.”
“Why?” he asked, tilting his head. “Scared?”
You rolled your eyes. “Of what? Your ego?”
“Ouch.” He placed a hand dramatically over his chest. “Relax. I just wanted to let you know something.”
You didn’t stop. “Don’t care.”
That was when he dropped the bomb—quietly, intentionally, the way someone throws a dart at a target they’ve memorized.
“I saw the notice on your door this morning.”
You froze. Just half a second, but enough for him to catch it.
His smirk widened.
“Pathetic,” he said softly. “You’ve lived here two months and you’re already late on rent?”
Your heart stung. Not because he was right—he wasn’t—but because he was weaponizing something he had no right to touch. The “notice” wasn’t about rent; it was a simple package pickup slip taped wrong. But he didn’t know that. He didn’t need accuracy. He needed ammunition.
He stepped closer, voice dripping arrogance. “Figures… You look like the type who can barely hold their shit together.”
That.
Right there.
That’s what made your blood boil.
“That’s none of your business,” you snapped.
“Oh, trust me,” he said, leaning in just enough to tower over you, “everything about you is my business. You live next to me. Your problems spill over.”
You shoved him—not hard, just enough to get him out of your face.
“Don’t ever talk about me like you know anything,” you said.
He laughed. Actually laughed. “Or what? You’ll cry about it?”
The slap came before you could think. A sharp crack echoed through the hallway.
His cheek reddened. His smile vanished.
“You’re gonna wish you didn’t do that,” he said quietly—dangerously.
You held his gaze, voice low and steady. “Touch my life again, Jeong, and I swear I’ll make yours hell.”
Then you walked into your apartment, breath shaking with anger, not heartbreak, not weakness.
Once the door shut, you pressed your back to it, exhaling hard. Tears didn’t fall, but your hands trembled from pure adrenaline. You weren’t fragile—you were furious. And worse? You knew he was just getting started.
Because Jaehyun didn’t hate you.
He enjoyed ruining you.
And that made him ten times more dangerous.
A few days passed without seeing Jaehyun—miraculously. You credited that entirely to divine intervention. But, of course, your luck ran out the moment you stepped out in your peak fashion era: black t‑shirt, sweatpants, messy bun, and the “don’t even think about talking to me” energy.
Naturally, Jaehyun appeared at the exact same moment, looking like he’d walked straight out of a magazine—black slacks, crisp white shirt, sleeves rolled just enough to make your blood pressure spike.
He froze when he saw you.
You stared back blankly.
Then shut your door and walked on, perfectly ignoring him.
Unfortunately, he still had a functioning set of legs.
Of course, he used them. He whistled and stepped in front of you, leaning forward with that smug, infuriating grin. “Aaand where is this lovely lady going?”
“Out of my sight,” you muttered.
He ignored that completely. Of course he did. He reached out, plucking your hand as if it belonged to him, and pressed it dramatically to his chest.
“Feel that? My heart. It beats only for you.”
Your brain short-circuited. Why did that stupid word make your stomach flip? Why was your heart betraying you?
You yanked your hand back. “What the hell is your problem?”
He chuckled, because naturally he did. “You liked it.”
“N-no I didn’t,” you stammered, internally cursing yourself for almost believing him.
He smirked like he’d just won the lottery. “Sure. Keep telling yourself that.”
You shoved past him. “Better luck next time, asshole.”
But, naturally, he wasn’t done. He caught your arm—not hard, just enough to frustrate you into a frenzy.
You glared. “What!!”
He tilted his head, that infuriating smirk never leaving his face. “You’re cute when you’re mad. Did you know that?”
You pushed harder. “I am not cute. I am furious. And you’re the absolute worst human being I’ve ever met.”
“Maybe. But admit it… you love hating me,” he said, stepping aside just enough to mock you.
Finally, you freed your arm and stormed off, chest puffed out, adrenaline mixing with triumph. Victory felt sweet. You weren’t falling for his nonsense—not today, not tomorrow.
The truth?
You were done letting Jaehyun think he could push you around.
He wanted to play games? Fine. You were ready to play smarter.
And this time, you’d win.
You genuinely loved your work. Every late night, every tight deadline—it all mattered because it got you here, to a place where you could live comfortably, have your own space, and build a life you were proud of. You wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Some days, though, managing it all felt like juggling flaming swords while blindfolded. And after those days, the only thing you craved was the moment you could return to your apartment—the ultimate reward. The idea of curling up in your own space, sinking into a hot bath, and falling asleep without a single interruption made your heart race in the best kind of way.
But apparently, the universe disagreed.
Because of course, God—or whatever cosmic force enjoyed making your life difficult—had other plans.
You hadn’t seen him all day, and for a fleeting, blissful moment, you thought maybe, just maybe, he wasn’t going to ruin today.
Ha.
Ha. Ha.
You should have known better.
As you rounded the corner to your building, there he was—Jaehyun. Leaning casually against the railing, looking impossibly put-together, as if the universe had designed him specifically to test your patience. That smug grin on his face was all the warning you needed: your peaceful evening had just officially ended.
~
You froze mid-step, just a heartbeat away from your apartment door.
“Evening,” he said, voice smooth, dripping with amusement. “Looks like someone’s in a hurry to get home.”
You narrowed your eyes. “You’re everywhere today.”
“Unfortunately,” he said, shrugging like it was a burden to exist in this universe at the same time as you, “I still have a set of legs. And apparently, good timing.”
Your chest tightened with irritation. He wasn’t just a nuisance—he was a storm in human form, the kind of storm that made you rethink the very concept of peace.
You tried sidestepping him, sliding past as if he were a shadow. But he shifted, deliberately, blocking your path with the grace of someone who had spent years perfecting the art of annoyance.
“Going somewhere… or just pretending you’re ignoring me?” he teased, voice low enough to make your teeth grit.
“I’m going somewhere that doesn’t involve talking to you,” you said sharply, tugging your bag closer.
He leaned just enough to mock you. “Ah, that’s the problem with you. You always think you can escape. But the universe seems to think otherwise.”
You rolled your eyes. Universe, fate, whatever—he wasn’t supposed to be a part of your evening. And yet, here he was, grinning like he owned the world, like he had every right to invade your perfectly ordinary life.
You didn’t answer. You didn’t have to. Your glare alone seemed to irritate him enough to keep that stupid smirk firmly in place.
And as you finally pushed past him, heading for your apartment, you felt it—the familiar, infuriating tension that he brought with him.
~
Yes. You hated him.
Yes. He drove you insane.
Yes. You wanted nothing more than to avoid him entirely.
And yet…
Part of you was already bracing for the next encounter.
Because Jaehyun wasn’t going anywhere.
Not today.
Not tomorrow.
And definitely not anytime soon.
__
~FLASHBACK~
The moment you stepped into your apartment lobby that first day, you never imagined it would feel like stepping into a battlefield. Boxes stacked high, a fresh smell of paint in the air, and your hopes for a calm, quiet start—all of it ready to be dismantled.
And then, of course, he appeared.
Jaehyun.
You don’t remember the exact first words that passed between you—maybe it was a grunt, maybe a sarcastic “watch where you’re going”—but you remember the feeling. That instant, undeniable spark of irritation that made your skin crawl. He wasn’t just annoying; he was audacious in a way that demanded attention, even when you were trying your hardest to ignore him.
He had moved in the day before you—or maybe the week before—but somehow, in those first few minutes of seeing him striding through the lobby like he owned the place, you knew that nothing in your perfectly structured life would ever be the same.
At first, it was small things.
He played his music too loud when he thought no one was home. He leaned on the shared walls in ways that rattled your bookshelves. He had this infuriating grin every time your mail got delivered late, or when the elevator doors closed just before you could make it. Every little thing felt personal. And in your mind, it was.
The worst, though, was his confidence bordering on arrogance. He moved through the building like the entire complex revolved around him. Every time you tried to establish boundaries—your space, your routines, your peace—he tested them. Pushed them. Broke them with a smug smile like it was a sport.
And then came the incident.
You had spent weeks, maybe even months, meticulously moving into your apartment. Every box unpacked, every corner cleaned, every corner of your sanctuary arranged just the way you wanted. You were exhausted but proud. That evening, you had dropped onto the sofa with a sigh of relief, ready to finally relax.
And there he was.
Jaehyun, leaning against your railing—not even in your apartment yet—holding a package he had “borrowed” from the lobby. Not your package. Not even anything related to you. But the way he had looked at it, smirked, and then glanced at you like it was some sort of joke… you could feel the irritation boiling through your veins.
He had said something like, “Careful, some of us actually try to live in peace around here.”
You hadn’t been in the mood for sarcasm. Not that anyone ever was with him. But it didn’t matter. Something in the way he said it, the way he looked at you like he owned the world, was enough to make a line in your brain snap.
And that was when it truly began.
Your hatred, his irritation—whatever he felt toward you, whatever you felt toward him—it was a mix of pride, ego, and pure clash of personalities. You were meticulous, orderly, careful. He was chaos incarnate, unapologetic and infuriatingly confident. Every interaction sparked friction. Every word, every look, every smirk added fuel to a fire neither of you could—or wanted—to put out.
It didn’t take long for the building’s other tenants to notice. You two weren’t just neighbors; you were adversaries. A war in miniature. People might have thought it was amusing, but for you, it was serious.
You tried to maintain your distance, to keep your life separate, to enforce some sense of peace. But he always found a way to cross that invisible line. Small provocations, loud enough to be noticed, pointed remarks, deliberate teasing… all of it escalating.
And somehow, it always ended with the same result: he left smirking, satisfied with himself, and you were left fuming, plotting, and utterly convinced that he was the worst human being alive.
The funny thing—or maybe the tragic thing—was that this rivalry didn’t just exist on the surface.
It seeped into everything.
Every time you heard his footsteps, your brain went on alert. Every time you rounded a corner and saw that smirk, your chest tightened with that familiar mix of anger and… something else you couldn’t name. You didn’t like him. You hated him. And yet, your world had unknowingly started orbiting around the chaos he brought.
Because Jaehyun wasn’t just a neighbor.
He was the storm that refused to leave.
And as far as you were concerned, storms were dangerous. But they were also… impossible to ignore
__
You shook your head, forcing yourself back into the present. Memories of all those early confrontations—the sharp words, the stolen moments of triumph, the constant mental tug-of-war—made your chest tighten.
And yet, there he was again. Leaning against the railing just like he had on that first day, looking far too perfect for anyone to hate him properly. Somehow, he still managed to radiate chaos, the kind that made it impossible to walk past without a flare of irritation.
“Funny running into you… again,” he drawled, that same infuriating grin teasing the edges of his face.
“Funny, huh?” you replied, voice clipped. “I was hoping I’d finally have a peaceful evening.”
He snorted. “Peaceful? Around me? Now that’s ambitious.”
You ignored him and started walking toward your door, bag swinging slightly. He moved, as always, to block your path.
“Running late, as usual,” he said, stepping closer. “Or just trying to escape me?”
“Trying to escape the embodiment of chaos,” you said sharply, stepping around him.
He mirrored your movement effortlessly, smirk widening. “Chaos, huh? I like that. Makes life… interesting.”
You stopped, hands on your hips. “Interesting? You mean infuriating. I’ve spent years building routines, and you break them every time you show up.”
“Maybe I like seeing you react,” he said casually, leaning on the wall like he had all the time in the world. “Keeps me entertained.”
Your teeth clenched. “Entertained? I am not a source of amusement, Jaehyun.”
He shrugged, all innocence and arrogance wrapped into one perfectly maddening package. “That’s what makes it fun.”
You shot him a glare sharp enough to cut glass. And, naturally, he grinned.
__
The next evening, the sky had darkened into a bruised purple, and rain lashed against your windows with a steady, relentless beat. You were curled up on the sofa, finally ready to unwind, when a frantic knock shattered the quiet.
Your first thought was, Who the hell could that be at this hour?
You opened the door, and your heart skipped—half in irritation, half in disbelief. There he was. Jaehyun. Hair plastered to his head, jacket soaked, eyes wide with panic, holding nothing but a small bag.
“What…?” you began, narrowing your eyes.
“I—my apartment,” he stammered, voice tight and uncharacteristically shaky. “There’s… uh… a fire. Small, maybe, but… it’s not habitable. The fire department took care of it but I need… somewhere to stay.”
Your stomach dropped. You opened your mouth, then closed it again. You’re not supposed to feel anything for him. And yet…
“You’re asking to stay… here?” you said slowly, disbelief coloring your tone.
“Yes,” he admitted, finally meeting your eyes. Vulnerable, raw. “Just… for the night. Or until it’s… you know, fixed.”
There it was. The old Jaehyun bravado gone, replaced by someone who looked almost human, desperate. And your pulse betrayed you with a flutter you didn’t want to admit.
“Fine,” you said sharply, stepping aside. “But don’t expect me to enjoy it. And don’t touch anything.”
He nodded quickly, almost embarrassed by the compliance. “I won’t. I promise.”
You moved through the apartment, tense and precise, pointing out the sofa and making it clear he was to stay in his corner. He settled, still shivering from the rain, and the awkward silence was thick, heavy with unspoken thoughts.
Finally, he muttered, almost to himself, “I hate having to rely on anyone.”
“You hate relying on me in particular,” you snapped, crossing your arms.
He flinched, then let out a low, humorless chuckle. “Yeah… well, it’s… complicated.”
The storm outside pounded against the windows, echoing the storm in your chest. Here he was, frustrating, infuriating, right there in your space—and yet somehow… fragile.
You tried to remind yourself that this didn’t mean anything. It was a practical arrangement. Temporary. Necessary. Nothing more.
But as the evening dragged on, his presence became a quiet pressure. Small things—like him brushing past to grab a blanket, or cursing under his breath at the cold, wet socks—made your chest tighten.
“Don’t think this makes you less insufferable,” you said finally, tone sharp.
“Good,” he replied, voice low, almost teasing, though the edge of vulnerability remained. “Wouldn’t want to be.”
You glared at him. He smirked. The fire between you—hate, frustration, irritation—was alive and crackling. But underneath, subtle and undeniable, was something else. Something neither of you dared to name.
And as the night settled around the apartment, the rain tapping a steady rhythm, you realized this: Jaehyun was closer than ever. And whether you liked it or not, this storm—both outside and between you—was far from over.
__
The apartment was quiet, save for the rain tapping against the windows. You tried to curl up on the sofa, wrapping the blanket tightly around yourself, determined to reclaim your evening. But Jaehyun’s presence made the air feel heavy, charged, impossible to ignore.
He shifted on the couch, stretching slightly, and—of course—his leg brushed yours. You jerked back instinctively, glaring at him.
“Careful,” you snapped, trying to sound annoyed. Your chest betrayed you with a quickening pulse, though you refused to acknowledge it.
“I am careful,” he said, voice low, teasing, with just the faintest edge that made your stomach twist. “Wouldn’t want to provoke you… though it’s tempting.”
Tempting. The word hit like fire.
You tried to ignore him, tried to focus on your book, but every subtle movement he made—the shift of his shoulder, the way his hand brushed over his jacket—was like electricity against your nerves.
“Do you ever just… stay still?” you muttered, frustration lacing your tone. “Or is being insufferable your full-time job?”
He smirked, leaning just a fraction closer, so close you could feel the heat radiating off him. “I like watching you react,” he murmured, voice low and rough, almost a growl. “It’s… satisfying.”
You froze. Hate and desire tangled inside you, sharp and confusing. “You’re impossible,” you hissed, fists curling in your lap.
“And yet… here we are,” he said, leaning forward, lips dangerously close to your ear. “You can’t hide it forever.”
Your breath caught. You shoved him—hard enough to startle him, but not away completely. He grinned, clearly enjoying the push-pull.
“Stay away,” you snapped, voice shaky despite your determination.
“Not a chance,” he whispered, low, arrogant, and so close you could feel his warmth. “You drive me insane. And I like it.”
Like it. Not gentle. Not soft. Just that sharp, infuriating, teasing edge that made you want to slap him… and also… not pull away.
Your chest tightened, mind spinning. Hate and frustration battled desire, your body betraying you with every brush of his leg against yours, every subtle movement that made the air between you sizzle.
You shifted on the sofa, trying to create some space, but it was useless. Every time you moved, he adjusted, so your bodies remained dangerously close, heat radiating off each other.
“I don’t even know why I put up with you,” you muttered, voice tight, trying to mask the tremor in your chest.
“Because I annoy you in all the right ways?” he shot back, smirk wide, eyes gleaming with mischief. His leg brushed yours again—harder this time—and a jolt of heat shot through your body.
You jerked away, frustration burning hotter than embarrassment. “You’re impossible.”
“And yet,” he murmured, leaning forward, lowering his voice, “you’re still here.”
Your chest heaved, pulse thundering, as his gaze pinned yours. The tension coiled between you, electric and raw, making it impossible to think straight.
Before you could protest, he closed the small gap between you, pressing his lips to yours.
This wasn’t a brief peck. This was a full-blown, greedy kiss—demanding and insistent. Your body reacted instantly: your hands shot to his chest, gripping the fabric of his shirt, pulling him closer even as your mind screamed to resist. His lips moved over yours with a practiced confidence, teasing and claiming, and every brush of his tongue set your nerves on fire.
You tried to push him, tried to break free, but it was useless. He was relentless, pressing his body against yours, one hand curling around your waist while the other tangled in your hair. Heat flared in your stomach, spreading through every nerve ending, and your resistance began to crumble, little by little.
He pulled back just enough to look at you, eyes dark, smirk teasing but fierce. “See?” he whispered, low and rough. “You wanted that.”
“I—” you gasped, lips still tingling, chest heaving. “I… hate you!”
“And yet…” he leaned in again, capturing your lips with a second, harder kiss, “here you are.”
Your hands clawed at him, half in protest, half in desperate need. Every nerve in your body screamed, your mind spinning with frustration, desire, and fury all at once. The kiss deepened, long and hungry, tongues dancing, breaths mingling, leaving no doubt: the line between hate and desire had blurred entirely.
When he finally pulled back, your foreheads rested together, breaths ragged. Both of you were flushed, heated, and impossibly close—neither willing to admit what had just happened, yet neither able to deny it.
The room was silent except for your ragged breathing, but the tension—dark, electric, unbearable—lingered, heavier than ever.
__
The rain didn’t stop. Not once. Not even for a minute. Thunder rolled in the distance, lightning flashing intermittently, casting fleeting shadows across your apartment. Every day felt the same: gray, damp, wet, and loud with the constant drumming of rain against the windows.
Jaehyun was still sprawled on your sofa, a blanket draped over his shoulders, smirking as though he owned the place entirely.
“Do you ever sleep?” you asked, arms crossed, glaring at him from the doorway. Your hair was damp from trying to keep it dry while running errands in the downpour, your sweatpants sticking slightly to your skin.
He yawned, stretching, and his leg brushed yours as he shifted. “Sleep is optional,” he said lazily. “Teasing you… far more important.”
You groaned, rubbing your temples. “This is ridiculous. You’re ridiculous. And this rain is ridiculous.”
“Rain?” he echoed, smirk widening. “I think it’s perfect. Adds ambiance. Sets the mood. Makes our little… coexistence… more exciting.”
You rolled your eyes so hard you were pretty sure he could feel it. “Exciting? You’re soaking up my couch, stealing my food, and acting like you’re the only person in this apartment building. That’s your idea of exciting?”
He laughed, low and infuriating, the sound echoing against the walls. “You love it.”
“I do not!” you snapped, but even as the words left your mouth, the damp heat of his body close to yours made your pulse race. He was a constant brush of danger—annoying, infuriating, and… uncomfortably magnetic.
The rain kept falling, a relentless, pounding reminder that the world outside was gray and wet—and inside, tension and frustration were rising like steam from the kettle. Every day became the same:
• He would “accidentally” brush against you while reaching for something.
• You would glare, shove, or snap, and he would smirk, basking in the tiny victories.
• You debated how much of your groceries he had to pitch in for, joking that he was basically paying “rent in flirtation.”
• Thunder rolled. Rain soaked the windows. Lightning lit up his smirk in flashes, making it impossible to look away.
One evening, after a particularly violent storm rattled the apartment walls, you both ended up in the kitchen at the same time, trying to grab the last mug of hot chocolate. Your hands collided, fingers tangling, and the small touch sent sparks shooting through both of you.
He raised an eyebrow, lips curved into that infuriating smirk. “Careful,” he murmured, voice low and teasing. “At this rate, I might have to kiss you.”
Your heart skipped. “I… hate you!” you snapped, yanking your hand free, though your body betrayed you, warmth spreading through your chest and stomach.
“Uh-huh,” he said, stepping closer despite your retreat. “Sure you do.”
And the storm outside mirrored everything inside—the heat, the frustration, the tension, and the unspoken desire. The rain would not stop. And neither would the sparks between you.
__
The rain still hammered against the windows like a relentless drum, lightning stabbing through the gray sky, thunder rolling in deep, low rumbles that made your chest tighten. The apartment felt smaller than usual, cramped by the constant sound of the storm outside—and by Jaehyun, who leaned against the doorway like he owned the space, smirk firmly in place.
You were perched on the edge of the sofa, arms crossed, a blanket around your shoulders. He had spent the afternoon moving lazily from the armchair to the window, watching the rain, and every now and then his gaze flicked toward you. It wasn’t teasing in the obvious way today—it was quiet, deliberate, and somehow more dangerous.
“Do you ever get used to this?” you asked, voice low, keeping your eyes on the book in your lap, though you weren’t reading a word.
“Get used to what?” he drawled, stepping closer, each footfall echoing slightly against the wooden floor.
“This… this rain, this… being trapped in here with you.”
He tilted his head, dark eyes glinting. “Trapped? I don’t feel trapped.”
“You’re infuriating,” you muttered, ignoring the subtle brush of his shoulder against yours as he passed.
“And yet,” he murmured, voice low, just behind your ear, “you haven’t left.”
You shivered, though it wasn’t just the damp chill from the storm. Heat pooled low in your stomach, your body betraying your mind in the most inconvenient way possible.
He sat on the arm of the sofa opposite you, knees dangerously close. The tension between you had shifted—not teasing in the bright, sarcastic way it usually was—but sharp, charged, intimate. Every glance, every subtle movement, every brush of his knee against the side of yours was a spark waiting to ignite.
“You’re… quiet today,” he said, voice soft but edged with something dangerous.
“I’m plotting my escape,” you replied, voice tight, though your pulse betrayed you. “Don’t get any ideas.”
He leaned forward, hands braced on his knees, gaze locked on yours. “Ideas are hard to control when you’re this close.”
Your chest tightened, heart hammering. You wanted to push him away, but your body reacted against your will. You could feel the heat of his presence, the way his leg brushed subtly against yours, the low intensity of his stare pressing into your skin.
Then, without warning, he closed the last inch between you and pressed his lips to yours. This time it wasn’t playful or teasing—it was slow, consuming, and deliberate. Your lips parted instinctively, responding even as your mind screamed to resist. Hands pressed against his chest for balance, for space, for control—but the pressure of his body against yours was relentless.
When he finally pulled back, his forehead rested against yours, breaths mingling. The storm outside roared, but inside, it felt like the world had shrunk to just the two of you, heat and tension twisting tight in the small space.
“You’re… impossible,” you whispered, voice rough, chest heaving.
“I know,” he murmured, smirk teasing the corners of his lips, though his eyes were darker, more intense than usual. “And yet…”
“You’re infuriating,” you snapped, though your fingers itched to touch him again, to pull him closer despite every part of you that wanted to maintain control.
“And yet,” he repeated, voice low, “…here we are.”
-
The morning after the kiss—or whatever that was—Jaehyun was gone. Your apartment was quiet, the rain outside still drumming against the windows, but the suffocating tension that had filled the air was gone with him.
You breathed a small, almost embarrassed sigh of relief. Finally, some space. Some distance. Some room to think without him leaning too close, smirking, or testing the limits of your patience.
And yet, the memory of him lingered—his smirk, the way his body had pressed against yours, the low teasing in his voice. You hated it. You hated him. But somehow… part of you ached for it too.
The day went on, uneventful in appearance, but your thoughts were anything but. You went to work, focused on your projects, trying to shove the memory of him and that kiss into a box in the back of your mind.
Then, later that evening, as you walked back through the lobby of your apartment building, you caught sight of him. Across the hallway. His hair was damp from a drizzle outside. He didn’t smile, didn’t smirk, didn’t approach. Just… stared.
Your chest tightened. That familiar rush of irritation and desire collided in your veins, making you want to turn and run, and yet some ridiculous part of you wanted to confront him.
“Go away,” you muttered under your breath, though you weren’t sure if you were telling him or yourself.
He raised an eyebrow. “You first,” he called lightly, but there was a flicker of something in his expression—something unreadable. And then, just like that, he was gone.
You exhaled shakily, wondering what the hell was happening to you. You hated him. Absolutely hated him. And yet… you couldn’t stop thinking about him.
__
The next few days felt… different. You moved through your routine with careful focus, determined to ignore him entirely. And yet, fate—or whatever cruel trick it enjoyed playing—kept him lingering on the edges of your life.
It started with the little things. In the elevator, your shoulders brushed slightly as you both reached for the same button. In the lobby, he leaned against the railing as if the building itself had been built for him to watch you pass. At the café you frequented, he appeared in the corner of your vision, casually sipping a latte, watching, smirking.
Each encounter set your nerves on edge. You hated it. Absolutely hated him. And yet… your pulse betrayed you every single time.
One rainy afternoon—you had refused to let him see how annoyed you were—you stormed into the lobby, umbrella dripping, frustration bubbling from the day at work. And there he was, leaning against the wall, arms crossed, that infuriating smirk fixed firmly in place.
“Bad day?” he asked, his voice low, teasing.
“Mind your own business,” you snapped, stomping past him.
He moved just enough to block your path, though, forcing you to stop. The air between you felt charged, electric. You could smell the faint rain on him, hear the quiet rhythm of his breathing.
“Don’t walk away,” he murmured, his gaze locking with yours. “I’m not done talking.”
“You’re never done talking,” you shot back, though your hands twitched, itching to shove him or… God, you didn’t even know.
He smirked, tilting his head. “Maybe I like that you fight back. Makes it… fun.”
Fun. That word hit your chest harder than it should have. You clenched your fists, frustration twisting in your stomach. “You are impossible,” you hissed, spinning past him, leaving him staring after you like he owned your attention.
And yet, as you walked away, a small, stubborn part of you wondered—why did your chest still pound when he smiled? Why did the memory of his lips linger in your mind, stubborn and infuriating?
The tension between you didn’t ease over the next days. Every encounter became a game: who could insult the other more cleverly, who could remain flustered without showing it, who could walk past without turning to stare. And all the while, the attraction simmered underneath, undeniable and unspoken, like a fire kept under ash, ready to flare at the slightest spark.
Even when he wasn’t around, you felt his presence: in the lingering irritation of your thoughts, in the way your pulse jumped at the sound of a familiar laugh echoing through the hallway.
Hate. Desire. Anger. Curiosity. They were all tangled together in ways you hadn’t admitted even to yourself. And somewhere deep down, you knew this slow-burning storm wasn’t going anywhere soon.
__
Jaehyun appeared at your door that evening without warning, shoulders slumped, eyes shadowed with something heavier than usual.
“What do you want?” you asked, arms crossed, heart racing despite your best effort to stay composed.
“I… needed to see you,” he said, voice low, almost too quiet to hear. His usual smirk was gone, replaced by a heaviness that made your chest tighten.
You frowned. “For what?”
He hesitated, eyes flicking away, then back. “Closure… maybe. Or just to… talk.” He took a step closer, but the tension didn’t melt. It thickened. His proximity was maddening.
You sighed, but the familiar fire in your chest flared. “Talk about what, exactly? You can’t just show up here and—”
His lips cut you off, brushing against yours in a quick, sharp kiss. Not a peck—deliberate, testing, demanding attention. You shoved at him, but the movement only made him press closer, his hands tracing the edges of your arms as if weighing the fight against the longing.
“You’re… impossible,” you spat, breath shaky.
“And yet,” he murmured, voice rough, “here I am.”
Something in his tone, the sadness beneath the teasing, made your chest tighten. This wasn’t just lust. This wasn’t just the old game. He was struggling with something, letting it bleed into the tension between you. And despite yourself, the pull was undeniable.
Every accidental brush, every low, teasing remark carried weight now—pain, desire, anger. The air sizzled around you. Hate and want tangled together in every movement, every gaze.
You hated him. You hated the way your body betrayed you. You hated that you even cared that he was hurting. And yet, when his lips found yours again—longer, deeper, claiming—you couldn’t stop yourself from responding.
The doorway barely contained the heat between you as his lips pressed to yours again—longer, deeper, claiming. Every brush of his thigh against yours, every hand on your waist, every shiver in your spine ignited a fire you couldn’t suppress.
He tilted your head, lips moving over yours with a mix of dominance and need, testing boundaries, and you found yourself leaning into him despite your mind screaming to push away. His hands traveled up your sides, sliding under the hem of your shirt, tracing your curves, teasing your ribs and stomach, mapping you like he owned every inch of your skin.
You hissed as his teeth grazed your lower lip, tugging gently before letting go, only to trail kisses down your jaw to the curve of your neck. “You’re—dangerous,” you breathed, fingers clutching at the front of his shirt, nails grazing his chest.
“And yet, you let me do it,” he murmured, voice rough, vibrating against your skin. His hands slipped under your shirt entirely, palms pressing against bare skin, thumbs brushing over ribs and hips, teasing, claiming, demanding.
When he pressed forward into your body, your knees weakened. He moved you with ease through the doorway into your apartment, the click of the door behind him sealing the space in a private, charged bubble. Every step was deliberate, brushing, teasing, his chest and lips against yours, forcing you to feel every inch of him.
Once inside the bedroom, the room felt small, intimate. His hands left your waist for your back, pulling you to him fully, lips moving hungrily against yours. You stumbled back onto the bed together, tangled in sheets and limbs, hearts racing.
He paused for a moment, looking down at you with dark, intense eyes. “Do you know how hard it is to stop thinking about this?” he asked, voice low, full of frustration and need.
“I shouldn’t want this,” you spat, but your voice cracked, betraying you as your fingers ran through his hair, tugging him closer.
“Good,” he said, grinding his hips lightly against yours, the friction making your breaths catch. “Because I want this. All of it.”
Clothes became an obstacle quickly. Shirts were tugged off, buttons undone, skirts lifted, pants slid down, all with a mix of teasing and rough urgency. Every brush of skin against skin was electric, your bodies learning, memorizing each other in the heat of desire.
He kissed you everywhere—neck, collarbone, the hollow beneath your jaw—pausing only to bite, tease, and hear your sharp intake of breath. You pushed him, trying to regain control, but he rolled you gently onto your back, hovering above, lips teasing, hands roaming.
“You’re not allowed to fight me right now,” he whispered, thumb brushing over your sensitive spots, eliciting moans and hisses from you. “Not when you’ve been thinking about me like this for months.”
You gasped, nails raking down his back as his mouth found yours again, teeth nipping gently before kissing hard, claiming, pulling at every nerve. He ground against you, each movement teasing, testing, pushing, and you matched him, arching, bucking, desperate for friction, for contact, for release.
Hours passed in a rhythm of push and pull, fight and surrender—hands gripping sheets, hair, shoulders; teeth grazing skin; moans and whispered curses filling the room. Every argument, every insult, every playful taunt became fuel for the fire, a dangerous dance of hate and lust that left neither of you able to look away or stop.
When he finally entered you, slow and deliberate at first, then with increasing urgency, the world narrowed to skin, heat, and tension. Every thrust was a mixture of desire, frustration, and power—the enemies-to-lovers tension exploding in every movement. You gasped, moaned, arched, and clawed at him while shoving and pulling, arguing with every touch even as your body betrayed your words.
Your climax came first, shivering, moaning his name against his chest, and he followed, lips pressing to yours, teeth grazing, whispering curses, sighs, and your name as he collapsed beside you.
Both of you lay tangled in sweat and sheets, breathing hard, hearts racing, eyes locked. The tension didn’t vanish—it lingered, a low-burning mix of hate, desire, and something neither of you dared to name yet, leaving you both trembling and aware of how irrevocably dangerous this connection had become.
__
Three days had passed since that night, and neither of you had acknowledged it. Not a word. Not a look beyond the casual nod. And yet, the air around him seemed different. He walked past you in the lobby, but the slight brush of his shoulder against yours made your pulse spike despite the casual expression you plastered on your face.
“Morning,” he said, low, clipped, as if it were nothing, yet the corner of his mouth twitched with amusement—or was it smugness? You couldn’t tell.
“Morning,” you replied, hands full of your bag, refusing to look at him directly.
Later, in the hallway, he blocked your path—not fully, just enough that you had to glance up to meet his eyes. “You forgot something?” he asked, arching a brow, voice smooth as silk but edged with mischief.
“Forgot what?” you snapped, though your fingers tightened around the strap of your bag.
“That I can remember everything,” he said, brushing past you with his usual arrogant smirk, thigh grazing yours just long enough to make you flinch and heart thud in a way that made you scowl.
You wanted to be furious, to shove him away, to tell him off for the lingering effect he had on you, but… you didn’t. Your pulse betrayed you, and he noticed. Of course, he noticed.
“Still walking funny,” he teased later that evening when he passed you again, “like you’re remembering something… or someone.”
“Shut up,” you hissed, cheeks heating, yet part of you couldn’t help the smirk tugging at your lips. You hated that he had this effect on you.
The tension between you thickened with each encounter:
• The elevator rides, too close, casual hands brushing.
• The lobby banter, sharp words laced with subtle flirtation.
• The quiet, unspoken acknowledgment of that night—never named, always lingering.
You argued, you teased, you fought, and yet the lingering fire from that night never fully went out. Each day was a careful balance of hate, frustration, and undeniable attraction, a slow burn that neither of you wanted to admit.
And neither of you did.
But everyone else in the building? Probably knew …
__
You hadn’t seen Jaehyun since the moment in the elevator, not properly. Just glances in hallways, stupid smirks, the brush of his arm when he walked past you like he couldn’t resist getting too close.
Every time, it made your stomach twist in a way you hated.
Like this morning.
He caught your eye across the hallway, leaned against a locker, arms crossed, expression bored—until he saw you. His lips tilted up, slow and infuriating, like he knew exactly what memory he was putting back in your head.
You rolled your eyes and kept walking.
He still let his shoulder hit yours lightly when he passed by.
Not hard—but intentional.
“Watch it,” you muttered.
“Why?” he murmured, barely turning his head. “You never complain when I’m closer than this.”
Your face heated immediately.
“Go to hell.”
He chuckled under his breath, the deep kind that hit annoyingly low in your spine. Then he walked off like nothing mattered, like you didn’t still think about how he sounded above you that night.
It was the usual.
Annoying.
Distracting.
Predictable.
Until the afternoon.
That’s when everything went to shit.
You had stopped by the small convenience store near campus to grab gum, and when you stepped outside, you froze.
A girl—maybe sixteen, maybe seventeen—was sitting on the curb with two heavy grocery bags, scrolling her phone with a look of defeat on her face.
You recognized her instantly.
His sister.
The one he kept private.
The one he never talked about unless someone dragged it out of him.
You hesitated, because this was a part of his life you’d never been near.
But the bags looked heavy, and the girl looked frustrated, and it felt too cruel to walk past.
You walked over, slow.
“Hey… do you need help?”
She looked up, surprised—and then her eyes widened. “Oh! You’re—uh—Jaehyun’s friend, right?”
Friend.
You almost choked, but sure. Whatever.
“Something like that,” you said. “Are you okay?”
“My bus didn’t come, and these are for dinner, and if I’m late again Jaehyun’s gonna freak out,” she groaned, pushing her hair back. “He stress-cooks. It’s weird.”
That pulled a laugh out of you. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”
Before you could think twice, you said, “I can walk with you. It’s not far.”
She blinked, surprised, then smiled. “Really? Thank you.”
You grabbed one of the bags.
She grabbed the other.
And you walked.
The conversation was light, harmless. She was sweet, talkative, completely oblivious to anything between you and Jaehyun.
But halfway there, she sighed.
“I hate that he doesn’t let me do anything alone. He tries, but he’s always worrying. He acts like Mom’s about to check in on us any second.”
The words stuck in your brain.
His mom didn’t live with them.
You knew that much.
And clearly, it wasn’t an easy subject.
“I’m sure he just cares,” you said gently.
“He needs to chill,” she grumbled. “I’m not a baby.”
It wasn’t your place.
You knew it wasn’t your place.
But something in you—curious, soft, stupid—said:
“Maybe I can talk to him? Tell him you’re responsible enough?”
Her eyes lit up. “Would you?”
And that was the moment you crossed the line.
You didn’t mean to interfere.
You definitely didn’t mean to betray Jaehyun’s trust.
But she looked so relieved, and you didn’t think it through.
When you reached their street, she hugged you quickly before running inside.
You didn’t follow.
You left.
And you thought that was the end of it.
It wasn’t.
__
You saw him that evening.
He approached you fast—too fast—not in the teasing way, but with a controlled, sharp energy you had never seen from him.
“Come here,” he said quietly.
It wasn’t a request.
He pulled you aside behind the building, jaw tight, eyes cold.
“What the hell were you doing with my sister?”
You froze.
Your mouth opened.
Closed.
“I—she needed help with the groceries—”
“I don’t care about the groceries.” His voice cut through yours, low but vibrating with anger he was barely holding. “Why were you talking to her about me?”
Your heart dropped.
“You told her I should stop worrying about her.”
“That’s not what I—”
“You tried to get involved in how I handle my family.”
You swallowed hard. “I wasn’t trying to—Jaehyun, I swear, I was just—”
“You were just overstepping,” he snapped.
You flinched.
He wasn’t yelling, but it was worse—this was disappointment, hurt, and anger tangled together.
“I told you before,” he said slowly, breathing uneven, “there are things in my life you don’t get to touch. And you went and touched them anyway.”
“I was trying to help,” you whispered.
“I didn’t ask you to.”
He stepped back like he couldn’t stand how close he’d gotten. “You had no right.”
You felt your throat tighten.
He shook his head once, jaw clenching hard.
“For someone who hates me so much,” he said bitterly, “you sure act like you get a say in what I do.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No,” he said, voice dropping even lower, “what you did wasn’t fair.”
Silence.
Painfully heavy.
He inhaled once, sharply, like he was swallowing the rest of what he wanted to say.
Then he turned away.
“Don’t talk to me.”
He didn’t look back.
He just walked off, leaving you standing there with the sickening realization that one small choice—one moment of wanting to do something good—just ruined everything.
You didn’t sleep that night.
Every time you closed your eyes, you saw the way Jaehyun looked at you—like you weren’t someone he argued with or teased anymore, but someone who genuinely disappointed him.
You kept replaying the moment over and over.
His voice.
His jaw tightening.
The way he stepped back from you like your presence itself hurt.
You’d never seen him like that.
Not toward you.
And the worst part?
He meant every word when he said don’t talk to me.
__
The next morning, you spotted him in the hallway.
He saw you, too.
You knew the exact second he did, because his expression shut down instantly—like flipping a switch—and he turned the other way without hesitation.
No smirk.
No comment.
Not even a glare.
Just… nothing.
It hurt more than you expected.
You weren’t supposed to care.
You weren’t supposed to feel anything beyond annoyance.
But your stomach twisted painfully, and you hated it.
You hated that one fight—one mistake—could shift the entire dynamic between you so violently.
You tried not to stare at him.
You failed.
You watched him walk away, watched the tense set of his shoulders, watched the way he didn’t look back even once.
It was the first time he ever ignored you.
The first time he didn’t have some snarky remark ready.
The first time his silence felt like a punishment.
Later that evening, you stepped out of your building, needing air more than anything.
Your head was a mess — the fight replaying over and over, his face when he realized what you’d done, the disappointment that sank deeper than anger ever could.
You weren’t expecting to see him.
But there he was.
Jaehyun stood outside on the sidewalk, just a few steps from the entrance.
Hands in his pockets, shoulders tight, staring at nothing — the way someone stares when their mind is chewing them alive.
He didn’t notice you at first.
The streetlights cast a faint gold on his face, making him look even more exhausted than earlier — tired in a way that went past the body and into the bones.
His phone buzzed once.
He looked at the screen.
Locked it again without answering.
You didn’t know why that made your chest twist harder.
“…Jaehyun?” you said softly.
He turned slightly, just enough to acknowledge you.
Not enough to actually look at you.
And that small movement felt like a punch.
“Are you—Are you okay?” you asked.
He didn’t laugh. He didn’t scoff. He didn’t throw a sarcastic comment like he normally would.
He just said, quietly, “Don’t.”
You froze. “Don’t what?”
“Don’t pretend we’re suddenly close,” he said, eyes still fixed on the dim street ahead. “Not after today.”
Your stomach dropped.
“I wasn’t pretending,” you whispered.
That made him finally look at you — but only with the kind of expression that tears you apart because it’s not anger.
It’s disappointment.
“You crossed a line,” he said. “And the worst part? You don’t even understand how deep it was.”
You swallowed, heat rising in your chest, in your eyes.
“Then tell me,” you said, voice cracking against your will. “Tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”
He let out a slow breath, shaking his head lightly.
“You shouldn’t have been around my family,” he said. Not loud. Not harsh. Just… drained. “That was the one thing I kept separate. The one thing I didn’t want you involved in.”
“I wasn’t trying to—”
“I know,” he cut in. “I know you didn’t mean to hurt anything. But intention doesn’t erase the line.”
A car drove by, the sound filling the silence between you for a moment.
Then he murmured, “I can’t do this right now.”
That sentence hurt far more than if he had yelled.
“Jaehyun, wait—”
He stepped back.
Not abruptly.
Just far enough that you could feel the space he was putting between you.
“I need time,” he said, eyes on the pavement. “Away from you.”
He turned and walked toward the side street.
He didn’t look back.
And you stood there under the streetlights, heart pounding so loud it hurt, realizing:
This wasn’t just a fight.
This was distance.
Real distance.
And it was only the beginning.
__
The next few days were brutal.
Not in the sense that something catastrophic happened — no fire, no accident, no storm — but because every encounter with Jaehyun became a war in itself. A quiet, invisible war where neither of you said much, but the air between you screamed.
You caught glimpses of him everywhere: leaving his apartment, coming back late from work, picking up a coffee from the corner café. And every time, it was the same. He didn’t greet you. Didn’t glance your way. Didn’t even acknowledge that you existed.
At first, you tried subtlety. A nod. A soft “hi” when you passed in the lobby. A tentative smile that didn’t reach your eyes. Each time, he ignored it. Not coldly, not rudely — he simply moved past you like you weren’t there, and it shredded your chest in ways you didn’t know were possible.
By the third day, the silence between you had become unbearable. You found yourself timing your comings and goings, trying to avoid him, yet longing for the chaos of his presence at the same time.
~
It was late evening when the unavoidable happened.
You were carrying a bag of groceries, tired and distracted, when the elevator doors opened, and there he was.
Jaehyun.
Eyes narrowed. Shoulders stiff. That wall of distance radiating off him in waves.
Your stomach dropped.
He stepped into the elevator without a word, pressed the button for your floor, and leaned against the wall — giving you space, but not enough to escape the tension.
You tried. You really did. “Uh… hey.”
No response.
You swallowed. “Look… about the other night…”
He shifted, finally glancing at you, the shadow of pain still in his eyes. “Not now.”
Your chest tightened. “Please. Just—just a minute.”
He shook his head, jaw tight. “I can’t.”
The doors opened at your floor. He stepped out without another word.
You froze in the elevator, heart racing, watching him disappear.
And that’s when it hit you.
You weren’t just upset that he was avoiding you.
You were terrified of what it meant.
~
The next day, you tried again.
You waited outside his door when you knew he’d be coming back from work, arms crossed, mind rehearsing every possible thing you could say to break through his wall.
And he came.
Without looking at you. Without pause.
“I thought about what you said,” you tried, stepping closer.
He didn’t stop. He didn’t even flinch.
“I know I messed up,” you whispered. “And I—I want to fix it.”
His footsteps didn’t falter. His silence was deafening.
Finally, he glanced at you — brief, cold, unreadable — and said, voice low and steady, “There’s nothing to fix right now. And maybe… there won’t be for a while.”
He walked past, and for a fraction of a second, you swore you saw the shadow of sadness in his posture.
But the distance he kept? That was deliberate. Unyielding.
And you realized, with a sick twist in your stomach, that this avoidance was more painful than any argument you’d ever had with him.
~
The week stretched on like this.
Every time you saw him, it was the same: silence, distance, careful avoidance.
And yet, every glance, every movement, every time his presence intersected with yours, carried the weight of unspoken words. Tension built like a storm on the horizon — quiet, smoldering, ready to erupt.
You knew one thing:
The fight wasn’t over.
Not by a long shot.
And when it finally came, it wouldn’t be just about the argument.
It would be about everything.
Everything you’d done, everything you hadn’t done, and everything you were both too stubborn to admit.
__
The first few weeks after the fight felt like walking through fire. Every attempt to reach him, every hesitant word you tried to say, was met with cold indifference. His clipped tones, the way he avoided your eyes, the deliberate silence — it was suffocating. It was clear: he didn’t want to talk. And after enough bruised pride and frustrated heartbeats, you gave up.
The weeks turned into months, and a rhythm emerged. You and Jaehyun became experts at coexistence by distance. The lobby was a gauntlet of timing; elevators became a strategic gamble. You left your apartment only after he had already gone, or returned just after he had slipped inside. In the rare moments your paths did cross, it was a quick, averted glance or a stiff nod. Every accidental brush of a shoulder, every glimpse of him across the parking lot, reminded you that the fire between you hadn’t truly gone out — it was just smoldering, waiting.
Each day carried the weight of the unspoken. Anger and irritation lingered, coiling around your stomach like a snake. Longing pressed at your chest in quiet moments, but you refused to give it a voice. Curiosity gnawed at the edges of your mind: what was he thinking? Did he feel the same pull you did, or had the fight permanently hardened him against you?
The sister’s presence hovered in the background like a ghost. You never saw her in these months, but you knew she was there, slipping into his apartment after school or on weekends. Jaehyun’s stress-cooking rituals, the careful organization of his papers and counters — she witnessed it all. She helped him, guided him, supported him — but always without you knowing. You only caught glimpses from a distance, moments where you saw him softened, relaxed in ways he would never allow around you.
And yet, the unspoken barrier between you remained unbroken. You lived side by side, carried out your routines with surgical precision, and went to bed each night knowing that the man you had once been drawn to was only a few doors down, untouchable, unreachable.
It wasn’t until one quiet evening near the end of that year that the carefully constructed walls began to crack. Jaehyun came home, shoulders slumped in a way that suggested exhaustion deeper than physical fatigue. The sister, finally, confessed the truth. The lies she had fed him a year ago — the distorted version of what you had actually said — were laid bare. She admitted the manipulation, the misunderstanding she had created.
For the first time in twelve months, something shifted. The weight of anger, confusion, and distance pressed against him in a way that made the air between you taut with potential. It didn’t resolve anything — not yet. But it opened a door. A crack, a tiny fissure through which the tension, the desire, and the unresolved feelings you both had kept at bay could begin to seep through.
And while the year of avoidance had carved deep grooves between you, both physically and emotionally, the truth finally planted the seeds of change. You didn’t know what would come next, but for the first time in a long time, the silence didn’t feel permanent.
~
The moment the words sank in, Jaehyun froze. His fingers, which had been idly tracing the edge of the counter, clenched into fists. His heart pounded, and a bitter taste of disbelief curled in his mouth. He stared at his sister, unblinking, as if the weight of a year’s worth of misunderstanding had physically pressed him into the floor.
“You… what?” His voice was low, controlled, but it carried the edge of a storm barely contained.
“I—Jaehyun, I didn’t mean—” She started, hands trembling, but he raised a hand, cutting her off.
“Didn’t mean?” he repeated, voice taut, raw. “You lied to me. All this time… you twisted her words. You made me think she said things she didn’t, things that… that…” His throat tightened. The anger bubbled up, bitter and scorching, but beneath it, something else — a sharp pang of hurt, betrayal sharper than any knife.
“I was trying to protect you,” she stammered. “I thought… I thought if you didn’t know, you’d be better—“
“Better?” he snapped, stepping back, pacing a few steps away. “You don’t get it. You’ve been feeding me lies. Lies that kept me angry, distant, and alone. Do you have any idea how that felt?”
Her eyes filled with tears, but he didn’t look at her. He turned toward the window, the faint city lights casting shadows across his face. He ran a hand through his hair, jaw tight, as if holding himself together.
“I trusted you,” he muttered, almost to himself. “I trusted her. And you—” He paused, taking a breath, the sharpness in his chest making it hard to form the words. “You used that trust… to manipulate me. To make me hate her. A year wasted because of your interference.”
The silence that followed was thick, heavy, suffocating. He finally sank onto the edge of the couch, head in his hands, shoulders shaking slightly — not with tears, but with the weight of suppressed emotion. Anger, frustration, confusion, and a deep, raw vulnerability he rarely allowed anyone to see.
“I… I need time,” he said finally, voice quiet, but firm. “I need to think. I need to… process this.”
His sister’s words faltered, apology spilling from her lips, but he didn’t respond. She tried again, softer, “Jaehyun, I’m sorry. I didn’t know—”
He shook his head. “No. Just… leave me alone for now.”
And with that, the space between them was filled with the echo of betrayal, and a silence that wasn’t peaceful — it was sharp, cutting, a reminder that the trust he once had was fractured. He stayed there for a long time, staring at nothing, letting the flood of emotions crash over him in waves. Anger, hurt, loneliness… and, buried beneath it all, the slow, stubborn ache of longing for someone he hadn’t stopped thinking about all year.
__
The week had settled into a rhythm neither of them wanted, a careful dance of timing and distance. Every glance in the hallway was measured, every step calculated. They moved around one another like satellites, aware of the other’s presence but orbiting at safe distances. Words were scarce, replaced by cold nods or deliberately avoided eye contact, and the air between them carried a weight neither admitted aloud.
Jaehyun, however, wasn’t about to let the distance stand unchallenged forever.
It started small.
“Coffee?” he asked one morning, leaning casually against the wall in the hallway as she passed by. She didn’t look up, didn’t respond. She kept walking, her stride steady, deliberately ignoring him.
He sighed, shoulders tightening. He knew she was cold, deliberately so, but it didn’t stop the pull he felt.
Later that evening, he tried again. She was walking down the hallway, arms crossed, eyes focused straight ahead. He leaned casually against the wall, pretending to be indifferent, but the tension in his stance betrayed him.
“You always do this,” he said, voice low, teasingly sharp. “Walk past me like I don’t exist, and yet—”
She froze for a heartbeat, then continued walking.
“You’ve ignored me for a whole year,” she said finally, voice tight, clipped, every word deliberate. “You think you get to just start talking to me now? I spent twelve months pretending you didn’t exist because that’s exactly what you did to me. I think you need to remember that before you start complaining about anything.”
He stepped forward, frustration coiling in his chest, voice low but strained. “You don’t get to just do that to me, either,” he said, jaw tight. “I’m not some puzzle you can walk past and ignore. You’re driving me insane.”
She didn’t look at him, eyes still fixed ahead, but her shoulders stiffened. “I could say the same about you,” she said quietly. “You ignored me for a year. Don’t act like you’re the only one who suffered.”
The hallway seemed to shrink around them. He exhaled sharply, tension and longing and frustration tangling together in his chest. He took a step back, leaning further against the wall, voice barely above a whisper. “Damn it,” he muttered. His composure, carefully rebuilt over the past weeks, cracked again — every word she said, every motion of deliberate coldness, cutting deeper than he wanted to admit.
She finally glanced at him, just for a fleeting moment, expression unreadable. And then she continued walking, leaving him alone in the hallway, chest tight, heart pounding, caught somewhere between rage, desire, and the helpless pull he couldn’t fight.
__
The days after the long silence unfolded like a carefully choreographed dance, one neither of them had truly chosen. They moved through the apartment complex with the precision of two people avoiding collision yet drawn to the same gravity. Jaehyun lingered a moment longer at the elevator, just enough to catch her glance, and she, of course, looked anywhere but at him.
It became a ritual. Morning encounters by the mailbox, careful nods that said nothing; afternoons in the stairwell where he would lean against the wall, pretending indifference, voice low and teasing, “You really know how to ignore a man, huh?”
She kept her posture rigid, eyes forward, tone clipped. “And you really know how to make yourself unbearable.”
Sometimes, when their shoulders brushed as they passed, both would stiffen, a flash of heat creeping where irritation and longing tangled. Jaehyun would smirk, his lips quirked in mischief, and she would scowl, though her pulse betrayed her. The tension, simmering and relentless, built something neither wanted to name aloud yet couldn’t deny in the quiet of their own thoughts.
It was in those silent, charged moments, in the teasing remarks and accidental touches, that the world outside seemed to blur. Every glance, every sigh, every word weighed heavily, dragging them toward an inevitable collision they both feared.
~
The rain had started quietly, hesitant at first, a soft drum on the rooftops, and then it came down harder, relentless, drumming against the pavement, soaking the streets, turning the world into a blur of silver and dark reflections. She moved quickly, coat clinging to her, hair plastered to her cheeks, boots splashing through shallow puddles. Every step seemed heavy, soaked through, yet her heart pounded faster than her feet could carry her.
And then she saw him—Jaehyun—running toward her, drenched from head to toe, dark hair plastered to his forehead, clothes heavy with water. The world around them faded—the roaring storm became their private stage, lightning illuminating his sharp, urgent features, thunder shaking the ground beneath them.
“I can’t—” she started, voice barely audible over the rain, but he cut her off, voice raw and urgent, echoing through the storm.
“I’ve had enough of pretending! Enough of holding back!”
She froze, heart stuttering, as he skidded to a stop just a few feet away. Water ran down his face, down his neck, soaking the fabric of his coat, yet his eyes burned brighter than the storm.
“I love you,” he shouted, voice cracking with emotion, trembling with all the weight of the last year. “I’ve loved you through all of this—the teasing, the hatred, the distance. And I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry for how I treated you during that year. I should’ve trusted you, believed you… but my sister lied to me, and I let it come between us. I let it hurt you. I… I never wanted to hurt you.”
Her chest tightened. She shook her head, unwilling to let herself believe it, unwilling to give him even the slightest victory. “You’re… imagining things. I… I can’t—I can’t do this,” she whispered, voice trembling against the torrent.
He stepped closer, rain splashing against her, hands hovering just near her, aching to close the gap she insisted on keeping. “Stop lying to yourself! Stop lying to me! I mean it—I love you, and I’m done with the lies and the distance. I can’t wait any longer!”
Her laughter was bitter, lost in the storm. “Pretend? Do you even understand how much I’ve fought? Every second, every heartbeat… I’ve been trying not to fall for you. And now? You think I can just run to you and—say it? I can’t. Not like this!”
Every word of resistance only made his eyes glimmer more with fierce intensity. “And I’ve waited long enough! I don’t care if you fight me, push me away, act like you hate me. I love you. Every insult, every glare, every shove—you made me love you more. Do you understand me? More than I can put into words!”
Her defenses crumbled. Instinctively, her hands rose, tangling in the wet strands of his hair, pulling him closer despite herself. “I… I can’t pretend anymore,” she whispered, voice trembling. “I—”
And then his lips were on hers, urgent, claiming, fire and rain, the tension of a year of hate, teasing, and unspoken desire exploding into a single kiss. She responded immediately, body pressing against his, water plastering their clothes to one another, every inch of her shivering, every heartbeat colliding with his. Every withheld touch, every suppressed confession, every spark of desire ignited in that kiss, consuming all hesitation.
They broke apart just long enough to gasp, foreheads pressed together, breath mingling in the rain. His hands cupped her face, thumbs brushing her wet cheeks. “You… you love me,” he said, almost incredulously.
She nodded, tears mixing with the rain, shivering, a small, exhausted laugh escaping her lips. “Yes… I love you.”
The storm raged around them, lightning splitting the sky, thunder rolling through the city, yet it no longer mattered. The rain soaked them to the bone, but inside, the world had narrowed to the two of them—finally, irrevocably, undeniably together. She pressed herself into him again, lips meeting in another searing kiss, the storm outside merely the echo of the storm of love, relief, and desire that had finally broken free between them.
And this is why I love you, you Obnoxious Little Shit. ;)
your family has been pressuring you for months to bring your boyfriend, jaehyun, over for dinner, and you think it’s really sweet that they like him so much. the only problem is that your “boyfriend” jaehyun, hates you.
———————————————————————
[☆] PAIRING. ex!jaehyun x f!reader
[☆] GENRE. angst, smut, fluff | fake dating?, exes to ??? au
[☆] WC. 19.9k (i don’t even know)
[☆] WARNINGS. angst, reader has anxiety, mentions of anxiety attacks, fighting, reader be lying a lot, reader has a little sister, crying, reader is kind of a dumbass, explicit content (piv smut), unprotected sex (don’t do this gang!), fingering, sex in public kinda, pls lmk if i forgot anything!!
[☆] NOTES. i’m so fucking annoyed with tumblr it’s not letting me insert images properly UGH this took me over 2 hours to upload man 🗣️ im pretty proud of this one ‼️ idek how it got this long but it’s my longest fic yet and it’s been sitting in my drafts for ages until i finally got the inspo to write it :p i want jaehyun so bad it’s not even funny tbh but anyway PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK/A REBLOG LITERALLY ANYTHING IS APPRECIATED <33
———————————————————————
six months.
you haven't seen this door in six months.
it's funny because, this was a door you used to push open and walk through every other day, yet now you stand on the opposite side of it, unsure as to whether you should even be thinking of knocking.
your hand is raised to the door, shaped like a fist but you make no move to actually knock. you were aware that you still had time to bail out of this, that you could turn on your heel and make your merry way back to your sad little house and go back to pretending you're happy with the choice you made six months ago.
or you could just do what you came all the way here to do.
the weather seems to be in your favour, at least. the sun shines radiantly, making the temperature warm, but not too warm, and a cool breeze travels through the air in short intervals. the summer had begun early, birds chirping in their habitual singsong way and wild bougainvillea already flowering in various shades of pink and lilac. usually when the day starts off with good weather, the rest of it follows suit, and thus your day is made better. hopefully, this is the case for you today.
pausing for a short, morale-boosting intake of air, you tighten your fist and knock, knock, knock on the mahogany door, immediately regretting your decision as you feel your stomach churn and plummet. a good ten seconds pass, and you hear no reply nor movement from the inside of the house, and part of you is relieved because that means he may not be home.
more than happy to do a 180° and skip along joyously back to the metro that would take you home, your feet begin to make for that trip but your mind decides against it. you know that you are being overly dramatic, but even with being aware of this, your heart rate does not slow down one bit. you also know that what you've come here to do is more than just selfish, its pathetic and rather embarrassing. it's also a hugely unsavoury request, and if your roles were reversed, you'd most definitely laugh in his face and shut the door.
finally somewhat making up your mind with a quiet groan, you raise your clenched fist and rap against his front door again in a set of three. you nervously shift your weight from your right to your left foot, then back to your right and then once again to your left, the anxiety and anticipation not allowing you to stand still and relax, thinking that if he doesn't answer this time, you really will just return home.
"hold on, i'm coming!", a hurried, muffled voice calls from inside the house and you don't think your heart has ever beaten this fast in your life. not even during the one time you ran a marathon to prove a point to your friend chenle, and while you did show him that you didn't only run to get away from spiders, your body took its own sweet time to recover from that.
now you hear footsteps approaching the door from the opposite side of it, and you don't think you can handle anymore of this tortuous, build up of a wait because you are quite literally one step away from calling it a day and just sprinting your way out of there, just like you did on the last few metres of the aforementioned marathon, and you know he's nearing the door because the footsteps are getting clearer and clearer, and soon he's going to open the door, take one look at you and just slam the door right in your face, but not before spewing verbal explosives at you, which would be totally deserved since he has every right to just spit on you and tell you how you're a terrible, downright horrible human being completely unworthy of forgiveness and-
"sorry for making you wait so long, i was-"
if your heart rate was at its maximum speed before, now it just stopped.
standing in front of you, in the flesh, was the man who's heart you broke six months ago.
jaehyun had just about opened his door in a way that his body was sticking halfway out of it, but he was now frozen in that position, neither in nor out, just stuck there looking like he was contemplating his next move. he adorned a loose, white shirt that clung to his defined shoulders and chest, paired with a pair of red plaid pants with a patch of some different material stitched just above where his knee was. you'd recognise those pants just about anywhere, having worn them a number of times and being the cause of that strange patch with mismatched material (you'd tried to balance a pot of steaming hot ramen on your knee in order to move something, resulting in it causing a burn in the pant).
his attire tells you that he was either just about to eat breakfast, in the process of eating breakfast, or about to finish breakfast; jaehyun was not an early riser and he liked to take his time getting ready for the day.
apart from his slightly changed hair, jaehyun looks the same as he did before, if not better. his once shorter, straight, brown hair, was now a darker kind of black and longer in a silky, mullet-y, layered sort of way, the mullet part stopping just above where his shirt met his neck and the front bits falling on to his face in thin, soft wisps.
everything about the man was captivating and entrancing, but if you had to pick a specific feature that really takes the cake, it would have to be his eyes. his eyes, deep-set and fierce, always gave the impression that he was cold or unapproachable, whereas in reality, he was the opposite. as striking as they may be, they always carried a certain warmth to them.
while they still held the same intensity to them, the warmth was missing as he looked straight at you now. after the brief moment of confusion when he first opened the door dissipated, the familiarity had sunk in, and his expression now was more or less unreadable, but you still tried to make out what he was thinking and feeling- was it shock? anger? maybe even disgust?
"okay, are you going to just stand there or are you going to say something?"
you think it was largely a combination of the last two. in all your fidgeting and gawking, you'd forgotten to actually speak to the man who's door you'd just knocked on, leaving him standing there wordless and confused, an eyebrow raised as he waited for you to open your mouth.
you try to do so, so many words wanting to tumble out your mouth but an invisible gate seems to block it, so now you're just stood still with your mouth opening and closing soundlessly, looking like an idiot.
c'mon y/n, fucking say something, anything-
"how have you been?", is what you decide to go with to break the silence in the end, an awkward smile plastered on to your face. you realise before the sentence is even fully out of your mouth that that would be a really weird thing to start off with, seeing as you and jaehyun have had absolutely zero contact for six months, and are obviously not on the most wonderful terms.
jaehyun's eyebrows furrow, a look of clear disbelief on his face as he clutches his door handle a little tighter. he looks away with a sarcastic smile, shaking his head before turning back to look you dead in the eye. oh, he's going to slam the door on you, you just know it-
"really? 'how have you been'?", he questions incredulously, licking his bottom lip while an exasperated smile plays at them. funnily enough, his response is somewhat relieving to your pitiful self, because you weren't even expecting to hear a reply to what you said, you figured he'd just walk away. you would've. "we haven't seen each for six months since we broke up and 'how have you been' is the best you've got?"
you wince apologetically and bite your lip, playing with your fingers nervously as he quite literally stares you down, irritation written all over his face.
he waits a couple more beats for you to break the tense silence and speak but you are inwardly (and outwardly) struggling to word your thoughts, so he simply scoffs and backs away to return inside.
"okay wait, i didn't tell my family that we broke up and they keep pressuring me to bring you home for the holidays, so i would really like if you'd pretend you don't hate me and come with me."
you don't even want to open your eyes to witness his reaction to your blurted little confession, so you merely stand, frozen in place with your eyes squeezed shut tightly. a couple seconds pass yet you don't hear a door slam, a good sign, so you take that as an affirmative to open your eyes.
he doesn't say anything, or do anything either really, he just leans against his doorframe with another indecipherable expression. this irks you even though you know you have no right to feel irked, but the fact that you once had the ability to know what he was thinking and now don't bothers you to the core. plus, it leaves you feeling unsure as to whether to continue. he might just start laughing at you manically or angrily tell you to get off his property like some bitter, 60-year-old man, and either of these scenarios would be completely fair of him to do.
the heavy realisation that your request sounded absolutely delusional and conceited dawns upon you, and something about his irksome expression makes you feel like you should keep talking. "you have literally every right to just tell me to fuck off, and i don't even expect an answer, i don't really know why i even came here, oh my god- this is so fucking stupid, i'm so fucking stupid and honestly i don't know why you're still standing here listening to me ramble-"
"i need to get ready then. give me ten minutes."
✧ ──────── ✧ ──────── ✧
the front door you're stood at now holds a very different ambience to the previous one. while jaehyun's was quiet and peaceful, the front door to your parents house reveals that the inside is just bustling with activity. the chorus of kate bush's 'running up that hill' plays faintly from behind the door, so you figured that your dad must have brought out his old record player from the dusty attic.
jaehyun stands beside you, hands shoved into the pockets of his light grey hoodie that you feel he must be boiling in, because you're wearing a black tank top with some loose cargoes that you think you might have drenched with sweat.
the sweat would be from the burning heat, but also from the agitation you're really starting to feel. there are so many different ways this dinner could go. what if jaehyun suddenly tells them the truth? then everyone in the room would hate you, and rightly so. you don't want to have to explain to your parents why you broke up with him; it's a stupid fucking reason, if you can even call it that, and it made you completely miserable. how were you supposed explain to your little sister that you and jaehyun aren't together anymore? you suppose relationships are a totally foreign concept to her young mind, but you were sure that she knew you and jaehyun loved each other very much. and you knew she loved jaehyun very much.
he does not look at you, instead choosing to really focus on the christmas themed welcome mat that your parents put out during the winter of '09 and never bothered to change. how he even agreed to come here with you, you don't know, but to say you're grateful would be an understatement.
"you still have time to back out, you know.", you mumble softly, trying to give him one more chance to escape, but he doesn't even spare you a glance, shaking his head and squinting at the door.
"let's just get this over with."
with a small sigh, your raise your hand to press your parents doorbell, the embarrassingly loud 'ding dong' ringing out from behind the door. "oh, that must be her!", you hear the muffled voice of your father speak from the inside, making a slight smile form on your lips.
within a couple seconds, you hear the sound of the muted metal bolt as your dad struggles to open the door to let you in. a grunt of "this damn door..." makes both you and jaehyun release short giggles, and you peek over at jaehyun to see his lips curl upwards into a smile, a small one but it's still breathtakingly pretty . he clears his throat and it's gone in a flash, but the image doesn't leave your mind, and you're still seeing it when your dad finally manages to open the door. "i really need to start using the new lock", he mutters, shifting his eyes to you with a big grin, leaving against the doorframe with his arms folded. "hello, sweetheart."
you chuckle and throw your arms around him, squeezing him a little as he laughs and pats your back in return. releasing you, he turns to jaehyun with a smile, who promptly sticks his hand out politely. "hello, mr. l/n, long time no see."
your dad ignores his hand, throwing his head back with a gruff laugh. "what's with all the formalities, come here, son.", and with that he gives jaehyun a hug as well, a slightly shorter one albeit, but a hug nonetheless. the word 'son' repeats in your mind like an echo, sounding more and more distorted the longer you focus on it. you can't even begin to think of what was going through jaehyun's mind. this was not your brightest idea.
you notice your mom waiting by the door with her hands behind her back, eyes bright and shiny. "hi, mom.", you beam, and she laughs cheerily, opening her arms for you to run into, which you do. she presses numerous kisses to the crown of your head, making you groan lightheartedly and try to escape her hold, but it only tightens. "oh, how i've missed you."
"i missed you too, mom.", you say but she's already let you go and is making a bee line for jaehyun with her arms open, who falls into the hug so readily and comfortably. "i may have missed you, y/n, but i missed jaehyun ten times more.", she jokes, pinching jaehyun's cheeks affectionately.
jaehyun is turning bright red, but he has a toothy grin on his face, a real one, you can tell. his eyes travel the front room where all of you are stood with a nostalgic smile, having not seen it or your parents in over six months. you watch as they look from the various photo frames hung up on the wall alongside the staircase, to the curtains that they recently changed, finally landing on the record player thay was sitting on the table. "wow, mr. l/n, where did you get this?", jaehyun asks, and you wonder whether he's trying to make conversation or if he's genuinely curious. you think it may be the second one.
while him and your dad engage in small talk about his record player, you turn to your mom to ask of the whereabouts of your little sister, and as if on cue, you hear an excited squeal from the top of the stairs. all four heads turn to see your sister bounding down the stairs hurriedly, paying no mind to your mom's strained shout of "careful!".
"y/n!", she piped, finally reaching the bottom of the stairs and running straight to you, wrapping her arms around your legs. she barely reaches your hip so her hug is really just her face pressed into your thigh with her arms squeezing your legs together, while you pat the top of her head.
somehow managing to pry her off of your legs, you kneel and give her a proper hug in return, now happy that you made the decision to come home for a bit of your holiday. she lets go and reaches into her pocket, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and jutting her hand out to you, urging you to take it.
you smile and furrow your eyebrows with confusion but you take the paper anyway, opening it as carefully as you could so as to not tear it anywhere. smoothing it out flat on your knee, you're greeted with a drawing; two people stand holding hands under a deep blue sky, a large yellow sun shining in one corner along with some "birds" that are really just little 'v's scribbled in black. they're stood on a beach, at least you think they are because there are two shades of blue on the paper, one of them probably being the blue hue of the ocean.
you assume the two people are you and your sister, since one of them has shorter, shoulder length hair and is miniscule compared to the other person, who's hair length and height are similar to yours.
you hold the picture to your chest and pull your sister in for another heartfelt hug, kissing her temple. "is this us?", you ask her, pointing at the two people in the drawing. she gives you a proud nod in return, taking the picture from your hands and holding it in front of her face. "yup! the big girl is you and the small girl is me! we're gonna go swimming.", she informs you, flashing you the toothiest of smiles. "thank you, it's perfect.", you tell her, ruffling her hair a little as she hands you the drawing back.
she clearly doesn't appreciate that, because she whines and swats your hands away, but soon her eyes focus on something behind you and they enlarge, the second excited squeal of the day emerging from her lips. "jae!", she just about screams, completely abandoning you in favour of running off to jaehyun, who has a wide smile on his face and looks equally as happy as her. he scoops her up in his arms and lifts her in front of his face, doing a little spin as peals of laughter escape her.
he finally puts her down but she holds on to his hand, looking at the male with absolute adoration. "hi, cutie.", he boops her nose affectionately to which she giggles, turning to look at you. "you didn't tell me jaehyun was coming!"
"i wasn't sure if he could make it", you reply to her honestly, looking at jaehyun as you speak because only the two of you know what you really mean by that. he holds your eye contact for perhaps a millisecond longer than he did before, but again, it was gone in a flash. he clears his throat a little and straightens up, rocking back on his heels.
sensing a shift in the air but mistaking it for some form of awkwardness, your mother shoos the rest of your family away in the direction of the kitchen. "they probably want to freshen up together, let's let them do that."
once they're gone, it feels like you can finally release your breath, truly seeing this situation going wrong in so many ways. they don't suspect anything yet, but how much longer until they eventually connect the dots? or what if they don't even need to do that, because jaehyun only agreed so he could embarrass you by telling them the whole story? you don't acknowledge the tense silence until jaehyun speaks up. "can i use the guest bathroom? still the second door on the right, yeah?"
you don't respond immediately because you're processing the fact that he still remembers these minute details. you also realise he's only asking because he doesn't want to share your bathroom with you, and that clears your thoughts up a little. you nod in affirmation and he begins climbing up the stairs, and you wait until you hear he's reached the upstairs landing before you move.
it's so tense. the last time you were in this house with jaehyun, you had taken a short road trip to get there. you say road trip, but it was just a couple hours long, but the playlist you and jaehyun had curated said otherwise. you arrived at the house and everyone was all smiles, your parents just happy to have you home and happy to see him as well. you think that part's just as hard as thinking about the two of you together. the fact that your slightly judgemental parents adored him, your little sister looked at him with stars in her eyes– you had lucked out in every department, and you were always aware of it, the joint guilt you felt from breaking it off and lying to your parents really getting to you now.
you swore that after this was over, you would apologise to jaehyun and finally break the truth to your parents.
finishing off in the bathroom, you step out into the hall, only to bump straight into jaehyun. backing up awkwardly, you both try to get past each but keep going in the same direction, resulting in a bunch of 'sorry–'s and 'wait– just–'s being blurted out by the two of you. finally getting past you, he doesn't look back at you again, just walking down the stairs mumbling something about "they're waiting...".
wincing, you make your way down the stairs as well, arriving at the living room to see your mom standing beside your dad with an excited expression on her face. you approach with caution, noting that your dad has his hands behind his back. "so...", your mother starts, raising her shoulders a little out of anticipation. "since we haven't seen the two of you in a while...we got you some presents! nothing too grand but..."
"mom, it's not even christmas", you whine, ready to argue with them because you feel bad that whatever they got was still overpriced, but your mother shakes her head, urging your dad to reveal the presents. "just take a look first..."
in one hand he holds a small, white box, no bigger than his palm, and your mom picks it up, holding it out to you. the print on the box is small and typewriter-like, the material it's made out of just screaming fancy. you narrow your eyes at your parents but take the box in your hand anyway, pushing it open. inside, it reveals maybe the prettiest necklace you've seen; dainty and silver, the chain is simple but it's the pendant that's the real charm– it's an uncut stone of some kind, a pale, translucent white crystal that's pretty much shapeless but it's wrapped in this thin silver wire that forms little loops and hearts over the stone and it makes it so alluring.
"it's a seaglass necklace", your mom speaks, taking the necklace out of its box for you and inclining her head for you to turn around. you're now facing jaehyun, who looks curiously at the new piece of jewellery with the faintest of smiles on his face. pushing your hair to the side, your mother places the necklace around your neck and clasps it (though it takes her a while, squinting and looking at the necklace hook from every angle because she forgot to wear her reading glasses). she leads you to the mirror by the entrance of the hall so you could get a better look at the necklace hanging on top of your collarbones, reaching up to touch it. "you remember? from that lady who owned the fancy place by the beach last summer?"
you do remember. that was the first trip jaehyun had joined you and your family for, under the suggestion of your little sister. when you brought up the fact that jaehyun was going back home to see his parents a little later than he had anticipated, your sister immediately asked if he would want to come with all of you, who were heading to the beach in a day or two for a little family getaway. and much to your surprise, your parents were very warm to the idea of jaehyun accompanying the lot of you. he must have severely impressed them the first time he met them, bringing a bouquet of flowers for your mother and a hearty bottle of whiskey for your dad– it's like he had won their hearts before he had even stepped inside the house.
of course, he had met them a couple more times again after that, but your parents had never raised any issues about your then boyfriend. your dad had claimed that he wanted jaehyun to come along so he could "keep an eye on him" and "see how he treats you in front of us", but you knew all too well he just wanted someone to talk to about his interest in sound systems. the trip had gone so smoothly, so perfectly and you think that it had planted the seeds of doubt in your mind about your relationship.
the position of the window and sun allowed for the light to bleed on to half of your face, the necklace glinting under the rays as you stood in front of the mirror and surveyed it. the last couple drops of the golden hour sun slipped through the windowpane and painted your skin like it was a canvass and the necklace was the cherry on top. you were radiant, and the look in jaehyun's eyes told you that he knew it too. when your eyes meet in the mirror, it's like he tears his eyes away from you, forcing himself to look at his shoes.
snapping out of your soon-to-be miserable thoughts, you fix a smile on to your face so as to not seem ungrateful, turning to hug your mother. "i love it", and you really do, knowing that you wouldn't be wearing a single other piece of jewellery for the next couple months.
jaehyun stands in the doorway soundlessly, just taking in the scene. he had always told you that he wished his family was as close and tight-knit as yours, but due to his dad always being away on some business trip or another and his mother having her own job to attend to, it resulted in a lot of time spent by himself.
you think that might be way he slotted right in with the rest of you, from the very first meet, because his desire to belong worked very well with your family's lively, chaotic home, which welcomed him right away. this was the main reason why couldn’t bring yourself to tell your family that you had broken up him mercilessly. they wouldn’t blame you of course, but you know everyone would be immensely disappointed when they realised that he hadn’t even done anything wrong in the first place; he was so good to you, and they just wanted to see you happy.
while your mom cooed at how pretty the necklace looked on you, your dad faces jaehyun with a wide grin on his face. "you didn't think we'd forget about you, did you?"
he probably wasn't expecting anything for himself, because you weren't either, so you and jaehyun simultaneously furrow your eyebrows. "oh, mr. l/n, you didn't have to–", he starts but your father is quick to cut him off, waving his hands. "what nonsense. of course we had to get you something, it's no big deal", he tries to appear nonchalant but the smile that creeps on to his face is a telltale sign that it is, in fact, a big deal. "besides, if you're family to y/n, you're family to us."
it's as if someone just stuck a large knife into you, the pang you just felt in your stomach. you can't even begin to think about what must be going through jaehyun's head, because even he can't hide the way his eyes soften at your dad's words. watching your sister spring up from the couch, she runs behind your father and plucks whatever he was holding out of his hands, now revealed to be a medium-sized bag. "i wanna give it to jaehyun!", with that, she's running over to him with the toothiest smile plastered on her cheeks, holding the bag out to jaehyun with stretched arms.
he ruffles her hair just like you did, but she makes absolutely zero complaints as he does it– if anything she's revelling in it. this makes you want to scoff, but you smile instead without thinking about it, taking a couple steps away from the mirror and towards them. "are you gonna open it or should i take it back to the store?", your dad jokes and jaehyun chuckles quietly while you don't even bother forcing a laugh, and he takes the bag from your sister's hands, mumbling a soft 'thank you'.
from where you're standing, you can't see what's inside the bag, but you can see jaehyun's eyes widen when he looks inside and back up at everyone. "me and mrs. l/n, i can't take this."
"of course you can", your mother tuts in response, dismissing him with her hand. "if i recall correctly, you had said something about your airpods not working properly?"
realisation dawns on your face when jaehyun pulls the shiny headphones from the bag, turning them over in his hand. "i think i did mention it, yeah...", he nods, eyes scanning over the clear box he holds. you remember that only one of his airpods would function properly, the other deciding whenever it wanted to do its job. you didn't realise your parents remembered, as well. "but these are so expensive, i can't–"
"do you like them or not?", your dad asks, shrugging his shoulders. jaehyun's quick to nod, "yes, i love them but–"
"then end of story." your father's not hearing anyone out, even going so far as to cover his ears jokingly when jaehyun opens his mouth again. after your sister tugs on his pant leg and urges him to try them out, jaehyun slips them over his ears, whipping his phone to connect them to it. he thought it was too expensive to try fixing his airpods so he resorted to listening with just the one ear in, or using your headphones till you broke up.
by the look on his face, they work just fine, and he couldn't be happier. a wide smile is pressed on his face, a real one that doesn't even drop when he makes eye contact with you. you smile back at him slowly, but he doesn't look away immediately, slowly turning to look at your parents. "i don't know what to say. thank you."
you'd had a couple boyfriends before, not none as close to your family as jaehyun had been. none of your previous relationships had lasted very long and you could never pinpoint the exact reason why, you just knew at some point that you had to break it off. your mother always thought that this was a result of your first ever relationship, the first and last man that ever dumped you. it crushed you at the time, though you were able to power through, but since then, relationships were never your strong suit. change seemed promising when you met jaehyun through a mutual friend, however. he was kind, he was smart and he was genuine, three traits that you didn't typically see in guys you dated, but you didn't see any reason to dwell on your biggest fumble yet.
the rest of time until dinner continues in a steadfast manner with all of you sitting in the living room. the scene looked like something out of a corny movie montage, but the beautiful part of it was that it was reality, all the laughs, the eye-smiles, the stupid jokes and conversations, all of it. your parents had recently returned from a holiday together that they took to celebrate their wedding anniversary, which meant that you two deserved to look through all eight hundred and sixty two of the photos they took. super proud of the new projector he had ordered off amazon, your dad had connected his phone to it and was going through his gallery slideshow-style, with your mom making offhand comments about every other photo.
"that's from when we went on a date to this fancy restaurant, that's from the shoe store your dad wanted to go to...oh! that's when your dad just learnt how to take 0.5x pictures on his new phone!"
your mom speaks animatedly while each photo is being shown, pointing out various different things without any prompting. there were badly taken selfies of your parents that made both you and jaehyun laugh, pictures of the different kinds of food they ate, the said 0.5's of your mother taken from the top of her forehead– your dad was slapping his knee even though your mom wasn't too impressed.
after what seemed like years, they ran out of vacation pictures and moved on to pictures and videos taken during your little sister's talent show. this was especially endearing, because your normally high-energy sister was suddenly all shy and avoidant of eye contact in the presence of jaehyun, particularly displeased with a video of her singing on stage.
jaehyun wipes the pout right off her face however, poking her cheek with a smile. "you sound amazing, s/n", he pipes genuinely, and she's back to smiling again, even offering to sing the song for everyone towards the end. no one has the heart to turn down so innocent a request, so for the next couple minutes you are subjected to a very slightly off-key rendition of some song from the movie 'frozen'. everyone cheers when she is done, jaehyun even throwing in a little "whoo!" for good measure, and your sister performs a small curtsey before seating herself between you and jaehyun's legs.
you're situated on the same couch, but only so that things don't look weird. you invited him here to pose as your boyfriend, and he agreed, so you have to play the part too. that part wasn't as hard as you expected, the acting like a couple, no, it was the avoiding questions that was really getting to you. at some point in the conversation, your dad had congenially asked jaehyun when the next time he'd be coming home was. normally, he would congenially reply with something like "as soon as possible", but this time, he just froze. he appeared to attempt a reply, but was cut short at "uh–", the rest of the sentence never following through.
hoping to repair the awkward moment, you start to construct a fib. "jaehyun's been uh– you know, working at one of those um, nursing homes–", this is too out-of-the-box a reply even for jaehyun who turns to you, trying and failing to the hide incredulous look on his face.
"a nursing home? oh, i didn't know you were training to be a nurse!", your mother is surprised but definitely not disappointed, placing her hand on her chest with a sympathetic look on her face as she looks at jaehyun. he looks as if he's trying to speak to you using only his eyes, widening and squinting them at a rapid pace, tilting his head towards you so your parents don't see his expression. there are clear signs of confusion and you're aware he's questioning your decisions, but that's as far as you get with his eye signals and you let him know by shrugging and wincing, so he closes them while sighing inwardly and turns to face your parents, a fake smile stuck on his lips.
"yes! haha, funny story, this one...", he grits his teeth but furthers your stupid concoction of a story, snapping his fingers while trying to think. "i'm not really training to be a nurse, i just volunteer there sometimes. love being around old people, you know, makes me feel full of life–"
you cut him off before he can make this even worse for the both of you, taking in your mother's furrowed eyebrows and your dad's slightly opened mouth. "yes, well, it's hard for him to catch a break, you know, with all the...", you slap your hand over his knee and give it a little squeeze, turning to him with a grin while he smiles tightly back at you, eyes focusing on the hand on his thigh without changing his expression. "...hard work he does."
jaehyun's eyes don't leave your hand, seeing as this is the first act of skinship in six months, albeit casual. your hand feels so hot that you think you might be burning a hole through the material of jaehyun's jeans, finally ripping your hand off of him.
"of course...", your father trails off in confusion, and no one can seem to make head or tails of the situation. in a moment, your mother pauses before clapping her hands, seemingly already forgotten about the strange situation as she chimes "dinner in five!~". your sister scampers off with claims of helping your mother out in the kitchen (and probably to try and secure a spot close to you and jaehyun), and jaehyun stands up and heads to the cupboard containing all your placemats without out even being asked. you offer to help but he shakes his head, and you opt to go sit back down on one of the arm chairs facing the kitchen area, just observing.
this was one of jaehyun's qualities that made you fall in love with him, but also pissed you off to no end. first of all, didn't he ever get tired of just being so good all the time? second of all, why couldn't his own parents see what everyone else saw in him? and thirdly, why did you choose to ruin your life six months ago? as for the last one, you knew why, but the extent of your stupidity was real apparent to you now.
you look away when he meets your eyes and catches you, your heart beating fast when you see out of the corner of your eye that his gaze lingers for a moment or two. underneath all that hatred, was there still a small part of him that cared about you? after you broke up with him, over call that too, he attempted to call you back two or three times, but you couldn't bring yourself to pick up. out of fear or maybe even shame, you never answered his calls and since then, you'd had no contact.
it was impossible. with a break-up like that and six month's worth of time to sit and think about it, you imagine that one could hold a surprising amount of hatred for someone–especially after a relationship as real as yours. if you switched the roles, you think you wouldn't feel much different.
at your mom's signal, you heave yourself off the couch and to the dining table, seating yourself next to jaehyun (everyone expected you to sit with him, they left the chair empty on purpose). your sister has already claimed the spot opposite jaehyun and was patiently awaiting the vegetables that she knew your mother was going to pile on her plate, a little pout forming on her lips at the sight of broccoli. "you can't make that face every time, like i'm feeding you dog food", your mother scolds her with a smile, giving her a generous helping of veggies. the pout deepens and she folds her arms with a cross look on her face. "you guys don't have to eat the broccoli. why do i?"
she's got a point, you think, but before you can tell her to just eat them, jaehyun speaks. "that's exactly what my little cousin sungchan said...", jaehyun tells her, looking around the table with a dramatic sigh. "and we all know what happened to him..."
little cousin sungchan? as far as you know, there is no little cousin sungchan, and you know a lot about jaehyun's family, so you put your fork down in favour of listening to his story at the same time your sister curiously asks, "what happened?".
"well, like you, sungchan didn't like eating his veggies", starting off the story with a shrug under your mother's listening ears, he talks in a low voice. "he'd always argue with my aunt till one day, he refused to eat them.
your sister is knocking food around her plate while she listened to jaehyun, and she's not impressed with the story so far. "see! why can't i do that?", she asks indignantly, and your mother shoots jaehyun a look to which he winced and continues. "nothing happened for a while, so sungchan thought he had proved his point. but he hadn't heard of the veggie monster."
the story is heading in such a stupid direction that you almost laugh out loud, but you catch yourself when you notice your sister's expression, guarded and wary. "...the veggie monster? ...that's not real...", she speaks like she's not fully sure of her words herself, pausing her attack on her food.
"sungchan thought that too", jaehyun agrees, lowering his voice like one would when telling a scary story, looking around him like it could be listening before continuing, for the story's sake. "but he didn't know that without veggies, a child's body is weak. their bones don't grow strong, they stay small and their minds aren't sharp at all. that's how the veggie monster chooses his targets."
you hold back a snort at your sister's wide-eyed expression and how serious jaehyun looks, he's even got your dad attempting to look nonchalant as he followed the story. "the less veggies a kid eats, the weaker they get, and that's easy pickings for the veggie monster. he comes late at night, and there's no point in hiding because he knows. he can smell when a kid doesn't have enough vitamins and it makes him hungry."
with your sister, your parents and even you hanging on to every word, jaehyun lowers his voice to almost a whisper, and all of you lean in closer to listen. "legend has it that he looks so scary that you lose the ability to move or speak, so he just takes you. sungchan was never seen again. the police said he was missing but i knew what happened to him."
you have to admit, jaehyun can tell a story. the atmosphere felt more eerie as he concluded the story cryptically, but your sister looks positively gutted. "did he take him?", she questions, face white and voice small. he nods slowly, like he didn't want to be talking about this, and all you can think about is how this man deserved an award after the show he put on. "i had my suspicions. no one believed me, but i'm ninety-nine percent sure that at dinner, i saw a pair of dark, red eyes staring straight into the kitchen from the window."
as if nature was a paid fucking actor, a slight crash sounds from outside the window on cue, like if a cat knocked over a plastic bin, but you're pretty sure your sister shit her pants. you've never seen her shovel vegetables into her mouth at that kind of record speed before, even your parents are looking at her astounded. with her food in her mouth, she pleads with glazed eyes, "please– i'm sorry, i'll have my veggies, don't let him take me!"
it takes all of you a little while to convince your sister that she'd be completely fine if she ate all the veggies given to her and that the veggie monster wouldn't even think of her, but it's safe to say that she'd never leave a bit of stray carrot on her plate ever again. your mom comically mouths 'thank you' to jaehyun which makes you laugh, and you turn to smile at him, and he gives you a nod in return. small steps, you think, because a nod is a whole lot better than a glare.
the rest of the dinner continues as if nothing changed. sure, you and jaehyun knew things were different, but it didn't fully feel like it at the moment. your mom had prepared a lot of nice food for the occasion, and your dad even helped, particularly proud of the way his stir fry turned out. jaehyun made sure to compliment both your parents on their cooking, and they all but melted– he still knew exactly how to talk to them. conversation was easy; you talked about work, you talked about how university was going, you talked about the school play your sister was going to take part in, about jaehyun's parents, nothing was forced.
you'd fall into comfortable silences at times in favour of sitting back and observing, listening, just being a part of the moment. for someone who was so reluctant to be here, jaehyun seems comfortable, the familiarity of the situation helping ease the tension between the two of you. expecting some bumps along the way, you were rather pleased with how things were turning out, but you were also anticipating the end of the lovely evening– where you and jaehyun would eventually go your separate ways. you don't want to think about it just yet, not when everything was going so smoothly, and your opportunity to snap out of your thoughts is presented to you, just not in the way you would have liked.
your mother's question seems to have thrown jaehyun for a loop as well, because his eyebrows are furrowed and he looks blatantly confused. at some point during a lull in the conversation, your mother had politely asked jaehyun how his christmas in japan had gone; the only problem with this question was that he never had a christmas in japan, not to his knowledge anyway. this, was yet another lie you had told your parents, when they had asked why jaehyun hadn't accompanied you home to celebrate christmas, like he had originally planned to. unbeknownst to them, you had already broken up with him prior to the christmas holidays, so jaehyun wasn't exactly going to come along anyway. so, you told them that he had to spend christmas with an aunt in japan, for familial reasons.
you didn't exactly have time to prep jaehyun and give him a run down of every single lie he had to play along with, so he turns to you with a look of uncertainty and desperation in his eyes. "my, uh- christmas? in japan?", he puts emphasis on the two keywords, not blinking when he speaks directly to you in hopes that you would take the hint and help him out.
"yeah, your christmas. in japan. with your aunt", you reply to him with the same tone and expression as he does, trying your best to sound subtle so your parents don't catch on.
"yes, with your aunt! we were so sad to hear that you couldn't make it for christmas", your mother is unknowingly helping jaehyun catch up with the fake story, and he releases a short "ahh" during his moment of 'recollection'. "right, my real aunt who definitely lives in japan."
he grits his teeth when he talks, making you grimace and the fact that your parents look completely puzzled doesn't help. you need to save your dignity anyway, so you try to cut jaehyun off before he can make things worse. "haha, jaehyun of course she's your real aunt, silly", you awkwardly chuckle, feigning nonchalance when you bump his shoulder with your fist, wishing you could telepathically communicate with him right now, but you'd probably only be saying "please, please, please" on repeat.
he sighs but speaks up again, much to your relief. "it was slightly boring, my aunt doesn't do much", he laughs softly, fully back in character. "but you know, it's still nice to spend time with your family."
if your parents are suspicious, they don't say anything, seemingly satisfied with jaehyun's answer. dinner continues with few hitches until jaehyun insists that he washes the dishes. "it's the least i can do, after you both made such delicious food."
your mother at least tries to argue with him for a bit, but your dad is quite happy to not have to wash dishes, patting jaehyun on the back before standing up. what surprises you however, is jaehyun turning to you with the sweetest, most fake smile you've seen in a minute plastered on his face. "you mind helping, y/n?"
smiling tightly, you nod and begin clearing the table. this is done in silence, neither of you even looking at each other as you pick up dishes and carry them to the kitchen. your sister has run off to the living room to watch some t.v with your dad, and it feels like you're finally allowed to breathe when your mother exits the room as you’re picking up the last dirty dish. walking into the kitchen, jaehyun's back is facing you while he washes dishes, the environment and the little tune he's humming making everything seem so domestic in your eyes. this is how dinner used to always go when he came over, with you and him washing the dishes together in the end, taking breaks to splash each other with the soapy water or making out secretly by the counter.
but the air is foreign now, none of the former warmth or softness remaining. he turns to you with a frown when you place the final dish on the side of the sink, and he really doesn't look too happy. "visiting an aunt in japan? really?", he scoffs, looking incredulous while you look sheepish, avoiding his eye contact entirely.
you were expecting something like this but you hated being put on the spot. "i don't know, okay, what else was i supposed to say?", the exasperation in your voice is evident but it only fuels jaehyun, and rightfully so.
"i got an idea, how about 'oh, he can't come because i dumped his ass over call for no reason, sorry'?", he digs snidely, voice laden with scorn. there it is. "or is that too close to the truth for you?"
he doesn’t even let you open your mouth, chucking the cloth he was using to dry the dishes on the counter somewhere, folding his arms while he looks at you in a hostile way. “you wanna know how i really spent my christmas, y/n?”, he sneers sardonically, a sarcastic smile etched on to his lips. “alone in my house. miserable. i wish i had an aunt in fucking japan that i could’ve spent it with.”
you hate to admit it, but his words sting and you are well aware that you deserve it. just asking him to join you for this dinner was a huge reach, a request you really didn't expect him to accept. you don't fully understand why he did, though. he clearly despised you, so many be it was out of love for your family? you know jaehyun cared for them, but doing all this was uncharacteristic even for him. when you don't say anything but wear an agonised expression on your face, jaehyun further questions you.
"do you not have anything to say for yourself?", he tries again, his voice a little softer and more hopeful than before but you look like you're fighting some internal battle that doesn't involve him. he exhales deeply, clearly disappointed in your lack of an explanation and just walks past you and out of the kitchen.
you remain in the kitchen for a couple beats more, trying your level best to collect yourself. you can feel tears pricking the corners of your eyes and your breathing is quicker, but this is the absolute worst time to have a little panic attack in the kitchen. how you wished the two of you could just forget about everything for a minute so you could wrap your arms around his figure and fall into his embrace, feeling like that would solve all your problems. it's selfish and wrong, but you know that you're not getting over jaehyun anytime soon.
you'd come to that conclusion a couple months back. the first month after you broke things off with him was possibly the worst time of your life, struggling to eat, sleep or even get out of bed. your friends urged you to reach out to him like they knew you wanted to, but you remained stubborn, convinced at the time that you had made the right decision that would hurt the least for the both of you. you were wrong, you could see that now, but you knew it was much too late. you'd already gone through all the stages of grief, but seeing jaehyun again in this environment had really gone and thrown a spanner in the works for you, all because of your terrible decision-making skills.
any hopes you had of the two of you at least being on semi-friendly terms had just flown out the window as well, and you suddenly think that this might've been the reason why jaehyun even agreed to come. an explanation. a well-deserved one at that. you don't know why you find it so hard to give him one, but you suspect it's because you're not ready to face all that yourself.
upon hearing your mother faintly call out your name, you realise how long you've been standing in the kitchen, taking a couple more deep breaths before you join the rest of them. it's clear that everyone's winding down, your sister curled up on your dad's lap, trying to blink away her sleepiness, while everyone else mutedly watched the television. "didn't mean to keep you all up past your bedtime", you try to joke lightheartedly because your parents look like they're about to hit the hay themselves, but it's really so that no one suspects you were having a little breakdown in the kitchen; especially jaehyun.
"you're not wrong", your dad agrees gruffly, stretching a little before tapping on your sister's cheek to wake her, much to her displeasure. "it's technically your mama's turn to put you to bed, isn't it?", he attempts, but is quickly shot down by your mother, pinching his arm after claiming it was certainly not her turn. after their grand performance, both of them comically turn to look at you with a suspiciously bright look in their eyes. you don't even have time to argue, because the second the hint of a sigh leaves your mouth, they're saying "thank you" and "how nice of you to offer", urging your sister to wake up to let her know that you'll be tucking her in tonight.
she perks up a little at this, nodding with a little glint in her eyes. hopping off your dad's lap, she sleepily totters over to you. "can jae come too?", her voice is hopeful and small, and she yawns in the middle of her sentence but she just has this certain charm that makes everyone unable to say 'no' to her. this includes jaehyun, because one look from her with her arms raised and he's picking her up, pretending to complain about it. you can't help but smile at the whole interaction.
"oh quick! before i forget...", your mom gasps in remembrance, picking her phone up from the coffee table with a tired smile. "don't know when i'll get to see the two of you again so, pictures!"
this may be the only part you were slightly prepared for. your mother had a special affinity for taking photos; not that she was any good at it, she just enjoyed capturing these little moments and treating her gallery like a scrapbook. she had more or less documented the entirety of you and jaehyun's relationship, from the first few months where all the photos were cheesy smiles and awkward poses, to when you had grown more comfortable around each other. in fact, a photo she had taken of jaehyun was your wallpaper for quite some time (it took a lot of effort and explaining to help your mom airdrop you the picture)– it was a shot of jaehyun and your sister grinning from ear to ear, both adorning aprons that were covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking cookies.
the point being, you're pretty sure jaehyun was also expecting the pictures, so it didn't really surprise you when he plastered a smile on his face and came to stand beside you. his hand finds the small of your back soon enough and it makes your body stiffen while simultaneously sending a jolt through it, and jaehyun feels it. mistaking the action for uneasiness, he immediately lifts his warm hand off you so that it's now hovering awkwardly over your body, though no one can see that from the front. while you are disappointed, you lean into him anyway, clasping your hands together behind your back as you both give the camera wide smiles. you're so close you can smell his cologne and it's making you dizzy, not because the scent is overpowering but because it's just so familiar and you can't get enough of it.
the moment is gone in a flash because your mother takes three to four photos while cooing at the two of you before she decides to call it a night, and then jaehyun is ripping himself from you. you don't think anyone else recognises it, the way he seems to want to be as far from you as possible because he's so good at masking these things, but you can feel it. you can feel this heat radiating off of his body whenever he's near you and it's not the warm, fuzzy kind of heat. the spot on your back where his hand rested still burns a little.
your parents are exhausted and look more than happy to be able to jump straight into bed, but not before thanking you and jaehyun. you hug and kiss them goodnight, promising that your next visit will be sooner than this one before they exchange pleasantries with jaehyun, making him promise the same. you know this has to be hard on him, making a mental note to apologise profusely before you part ways. with a reminder that the door now locks from the inside, they bid you goodnight and goodbye, trudging off to their room while your sister scampers up the stairs to hers, suddenly full of life.
you understand why your parents were more than happy to hand over bedtime duties to you and your "boyfriend", because putting your little sister to bed turned out to be a piece of work. she started off by blatantly refusing to brush her teeth, but jaehyun had that one sorted when he reminded her that the veggie monster had a lot of friends, so that was done. she changed into her pyjamas all on her own which was a relief, but you were at a loss over how to actually get her into bed.
you both humoured her for a bit, understanding that she was just happy to have her big sister and her big sister's nice boyfriend home again, so a little excitement was expected. jaehyun played along with her, which was a sight to see, following along with the characters she assigned him in her imaginary games. but when bouncing on her bed turned into running around the room like a crazed bunny, it was a little harder to convince her that she needed to sleep now. "look at me, i'm wide awake", she insists, widening her eyes with her fingers to show you both just how awake she was. jaehyun tried a couple times to catch her, but you're both taken by surprise at her remarkable speed and agility. in the end, you had to resort to just sitting down and hoping that she'll tire herself out, which eventually does happen.
she climbs into bed of her own accord, rubbing at her eyes while you pull the duvet over her body, up to her shoulders. "when are you coming next?", she mumbles curiously while you sit on the edge of her bed, jaehyun standing close by. "soon", you reply honestly, knowing that you'll always have a safe place to come to whenever you need. "maybe i'll even stay for a whole weekend next time."
she likes the sound of this, smiling tiredly with her hands peeking over the edge of her cover, holding it closer to her. "will you come too?", this question is directed towards jaehyun, who looks defeated when he opens his mouth to answer. it's not fair, expecting him to lie to your family like this, but you know you've gotta come clean soon. you'd made up your mind at this point and come up with a plan; you'd explain yourself to jaehyun and apologise after which you'll go your separate ways, then you'll tell your family the truth after tonight, or at least make up a more recent break up, and that's that.
when jaehyun looks to you for help, you play with your hands a little, not fully knowing what to say. "if the old ladies at the nursing home let him go, maybe...", is what you decide is the safest option to go with, and your sister seems satisfied enough, giggling drowsily. you know she's close to falling asleep, and you're about to inwardly celebrate a job well done when she pops her next, unexpected question. "will you both be together forever?"
oh. there's a hint of teasing behind her voice, but everything else about the question is innocent and genuine, blinking her eyes open so she can look at the both of you when you answer. though you're not touching him, you can feel jaehyun stiffen next to you, his voice sounding more than a little awkward when he lets out an involuntary "uhh".
"what do you mean, cutie?"
you don't know why he asks that, because it's a pretty straightforward question; will the two of you be together forever? you want to laugh at the irony because you know that if she had asked the same question last time jaehyun came home, you both would have exchanged knowing smiles, giggling shyly while you tried to answer. the answer would've been 'yes', and you know deep down that it still should be.
she clicks her tongue like it's the most obvious and easy question in the world, shrugging her shoulders when she speaks. "you know, that's what people do when they're in love,", she answers with no hesitation, and you want to roll your eyes because who kidnapped your little sister and replaced her with dhar mann? "just like mommy and daddy!"
"daddy and mommy are married, sweetie, it's a little different–"
"i know that", she cuts off your little improvised answer in a deadpan voice that almost makes you feel stupid, but all her questions have your heart thudding against your rib cage, and you're praying to god that jaehyun can't hear it too. "but still, they love each other, and that's why they're together forever. don't you love each other?"
you're pretty sure the world stopped spinning and your heart stopped beating simultaneously, most definitely not expecting these kinds of questions from your sister. how do you even prepare an answer for this kind of situation? you know for a fact that your cheeks are coated in a dark sheen of red, and out of the corner of your eye (because you refuse to look at him), you’re pretty sure you can see the distinct pink colour paint the tips of jaehyun's ears, like they always do when he's shy or embarrassed. you can't not give her an answer, because that looks weird and she's clearly waiting for one, but answering meant that you either tell her the truth, that no, you will not be together forever because your dumbass went and ruined everything for the both of you six months ago, or you can lie and say that she's right, which would be admitting a lot of things that you didn't want to admit–
"nothing's for sure, but you're right, if two people really do love each other...", jaehyun's deep voice brings all your spiralling thoughts to a halt, and you look at him for the first time in a bit, only to find that he's already looking at you, gaze raw and piercing. you hold your breath when he speaks, because you don't trust yourself at the moment. "...they'll end up together forever."
you hear your sister make some kind of a reply, but the heartbeat in your ears is so loud that you don't quite catch it, the eye contact you're holding with jaehyun so intense that it feels wrong to look away. what could he have possibly meant by that? or was it just some half-assed answer to get your sister to go to sleep? you realise that staring at him while trying to use your sixth sense to nonverbally convey these questions to him isn't going to work, but you can feel the lump forming in your throat, needing to get out of this situation quickly.
it takes everything in you to break the eye contact in favour of pressing a quick peck to your sister's temple, and she looks about ten seconds away from just crashing. "night y/n, night jae...", and with that she's out like a light, and you two wait wordlessly until her breathing evens out before silently exiting the room.
once her bedroom door is shut, you make a beeline for the front door, way too scared and vulnerable right now to look at jaehyun. he doesn't say anything, so neither do you, making sure the door is actually locked before taking your phone out of your pocket. the time on your phone screen reads '11:43', and you know it's too late to try and catch the metro or a bus, but you're too stubborn and embarrassed to ask jaehyun to drop you.
the air is cold outside, much colder than it was inside your warm house. at the current moment, there is no breeze either, the trees are still and there are only a few lights on around the street, and it just makes everything seem so still and loud. you look out at the road, eyes zeroing in on this one lamp post where you shared one of your first few kisses with the man standing beside you. it's crazy how time can change things, you think, because never would you have believed in the moment that jaehyun called you "the most beautiful girl in the world" before leaning in to sweetly connect your lips that he could ever be something so close to a stranger within months.
ultimately opting to look at him, you're once again unable to read the expression on his face as you try your best to speak your mind to him. "um, i'm gonna book a cab, so you're officially free to go. thanks again for tonight, you really didn't have to come with me, so i owe you one. or i don't have to owe you one, because we're not going to see each other again- anything's good with me, just uh...thanks."
he waits patiently for you to finish, and aside from the slightest hint of amusement in his eyes, you're at a loss over what he's really thinking, but his face is so stupidly handsome that you're feeling angry and a little awkward, choosing to look around, and at the floor, playing with your fingers as you spoke.
"you're so dramatic y/n, i can drop you home, it's no big deal", he's already walking towards the road and biting his lip, and you can't tell whether it's out of habit or if he's trying to hide a smile, yet something tells you that it might be the latter.
"so you just let me say all that even though you were gonna offer to drop me? dude..."
the initial ten minutes of the drive are uncommunicative, both of you choosing to look at the dark road instead of acknowledging the awkward silence that was swallowing the car up whole. you don’t talk about your argument in the kitchen, you don’t make small talk about dinner, you don’t talk. you'd normally play some music in the background and you know that your phone is definitely still connected to his car's bluetooth, but somehow it just doesn't feel right– punishing yourself by sitting in this impenetrable silence should do you better.
the roads are more or less empty, save for the lone car or bike that speeds past you. jaehyun knows the way to your house from your parent's because of the amount of times you've driven back and forth, so you don't feel the need to tell him to turn right or to keep going down a certain road, making for even more silence.
part of you is still a little thankful that it isn't the most short drive, even though you aren't even speaking to each other. all it takes is picturing your empty house, devoid of the homely domestic feeling it used to carry when jaehyun was a frequent visitor. what would you even do when you got home? wallow in self-pity over your life choices? play 'sweet' by cigarettes after sex because it reminds you of him, then put on his hoodie that doesn't even smell like him anymore, just so you can curl up in bed and have a good cry while you reminisce? you're starting to think that maybe attempting to talk to him isn't the worst idea, at least it'll give you something to cry about later.
you're going crazy wracking your brain, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't make the atmosphere even more uneasy, but all you got was "hey, thanks again for coming" and "hey, sorry for breaking up with you, what's good though?". you can't even help the wince creeping on your face, finally choosing to go with the former before you have a heart attack and die in jaehyun's front seat.
"thanks again for agreeing to come", you start, absolutely hating the break in your voice from not talking for some time. "you really didn't have to do that. and for dropping me."
he offers you a quick nod in your general direction and fixes his eyes on the road ahead like he was zipping through a crowded highway, though you're sure there isn't a car in sight. "like i said, it's cool", is all you get in return, and you have to remind yourself that he has every right to be short with you.
but still, you try again. "and you don't have to worry about my parents", chewing on your bottom lip, you actually look at him this time, hoping it'll prompt him to do the same, but it doesn't. "i'm gonna tell them the truth."
he releases a short breath from his nose like he finds your statement funny, but continues to not really say anything, just nodding to indicate that he heard you. you subconsciously clench and unclench your jaw at that, because god, he's so fucking annoying, but you swear you don't mean to release the slightly irritated sigh that you do. if you hadn't seen his knuckles turning white from how hard he's gripping the steering wheel, you might not have known that your little sigh pissed him off, because you can't tell it from his face, save from the barely-there eyebrow twitch.
you don't know what it is about car rides with only one other person that make you feel so vulnerable, but you think paired with this kind of silence, you could potentially confess to murder in this setting. it's infuriating, how unresponsive he is, and part of you thinks you're jealous of the control he's exerting, because you're dead sure that if you were in his position, you'd have a fair amount to say. it must be satisfying for him in a way, watching you squirm like this out of guilt and discomfort, but you know in your heart that jaehyun simply isn't like that.
"look, jaehyun", your mouth is working faster than your brain, the silence proving to be too much for you to handle. "i know i fucked things up a bit. with how i ended it and everything..."
perhaps you should've taken a little more time to properly articulate your thoughts, because even jaehyun can't control the astounded scoff that slips out of his mouth. you yourself can't believe that you chose to deliver your words like that and it makes you sound so self-righteous, but they're out, and now you're bracing yourself to finally hear what jaehyun really has to say.
"fucked things up a bit? are you serious?", you can hear it in his voice that he's holding back, but he chooses to laugh in disbelief instead, which you think is actually worse than him straight up screaming at you. "y/n, you didn't even bother telling me in person. you dumped me over the fucking phone, saying it wasn't working."
you now kind of wish that you had just kept quiet and sat in his awkward car, and exchanged awkward niceties when you reach home, never to see him again. but this is your final chance at some form of redemption, and now that jaehyun was actually speaking his mind instead of giving you tight nods, you tried to explain yourself.
"jaehyun, i know, i just–"
"i called you a bunch of times. i tried to come see you and everything, but you went and changed your lock and all your friends were saying you didn't want to see me?"
there goes trying to explain yourself. so you sat and listened instead, and it was the least you could do. jaehyun's voice became more and more strained as he talked, the emotions he was feeling now a lot more evident. he was angry, but more importantly, he was confused, and sad.
"i just- i didn't know what went wrong, you know? we were completely fine as far as i knew", he continues on in a laboured way and he's not looking for you speak right now, so you don't. "fuck i- i thought we were in love."
the little laugh he lets out in between his words more or less breaks your heart, the whole scenario sounding all too familiar. those exact words were the last thing you'd heard from jaehyun before you fully and cruelly broke things off, letting him know the decision was final before cutting the call. you remember that day so clearly. you had meant to go see him and explain all this in person, that’s the whole reason you were in the car, but for some reason, you just couldn’t do it. you remember how much your hands were shaking as you waited for him to pick up the call, sitting in the car by yourself in the middle of your driveway. how long you sat and cried after you ended the call, tears falling until there weren't any left. how it began raining the very second you stepped out of your car to go back inside.
the weather was a funny thing, choosing to mirror your mood only when it saw fit. it was warm and sunny on the day you broke up with him, gentle breeze and wispy clouds all around. it was warm and sunny this morning, the weather ever so pleasant as you plucked up the courage to walk to his door. it was still unusually warm and sunny for the couple months following your break up, feeling sour as ever that the weather was so lovely and all you could do was sit in your room and feel sorry.
you took note of all these occasions because it always used to piss you off. though you shiver now in the car, you think it's kind of satisfying in a way, because the only two times your mood and the weather lined up was right after the break up, and the second you stepped outside your house with jaehyun; it feels like a premonition, or a revelation of sorts. the grey of the stormy sky matched the absolute devastation you felt after breaking up with him, rain pouring from the heavy clouds like they were crying for you. now, the cold, still air feels like baited breath, awaiting your next move.
"and nothing, i hear nothing from you for six fucking months until you're suddenly on my doorstep, asking me to pretend to be your boyfriend for a night. that's fucking insane!", he sounds a little wild now, very exasperated, but you figure it's probably better to just let him get it all out of his system, and you'd do good to listen to him as well. everything he's saying makes complete sense, all the emotions he dealt with akin to what you would've gone through had it been you in his place. "and you know what's more insane? i agreed. after all that, i agreed."
that’s the part you don’t understand. your heart is racing listening to him and you have so many thoughts swimming around in your head, it's difficult to filter them. you feel similar to how you felt back in the kitchen, although this time you can't take a minute by yourself to get over it. you absolutely refuse to cry in this moment, not wanting to seem like you're trying to victimise yourself when you are aware you're the problem. but you can feel your heart breaking all over again.
"why did you agree?", you physically can't raise your voice to louder than a whisper, the tension too thick to try and overpower it.
"why did you dump me?", he counters like a child, and while you were expecting the question, it still makes you freeze up a little. he huffs in annoyance when you don't say anything, inclining his head while he waits expectantly for you to answer. "you wanted to talk? let's talk, y/n. you don't get to just waltz back into my life like it's nothing. it's not fair," it's so cold, the way he says your name, but you try your best not to let it further shake you, mustering up the courage to finally speak. "it's so stupid, jaehyun."
he looks like he's about two seconds away from just combusting, the only sound piercing the cold air being the gentle hum of the engine. "don't you think i deserve to know?", he urges, voice edged with hurt and frustration. "i spent the whole day with you and your family, pretending like everything was happy and normal when it's not."
"i know, jaehyun-"
"then, tell me."
you shift uncomfortably in your seat, teeth toying with your bottom lip as you avoid looking at him. "i don't know," you murmur, your voice barely audible to yourself over the pounding of your heart.
"you don't know?", he repeats incredulously, his tone tinged with disbelief. "after everything, you don't know? don't lie to me, y/n."
your throat tightens as guilt washes over you, but you try to stand your ground. "i just... i couldn't do it anymore," you confess, voice trembling with emotion.
"couldn't do what?", he presses, his frustration mounting with each passing moment. you know he doesn't believe you, dead set on getting the answers he deserves. he's driving slowly now, allowing him to turn his head in your direction more often.
"this!", you exclaim but immediately recoil when you see the look of hurt flash in his eyes. "no! not this, i mean- me! it's my fault, you did nothing wrong." you're saying all the wrong things, but you're too overcome with emotion to attempt to form a coherent sentence. still, you know it's time that the truth came out, so you continue to explain with a heavy heart.
"i didn't mean to hurt you," you choke out, and your voice is so thick you have to swallow before you carry on. he looks indignant and rightfully so, but you go on before he can interrupt you again. "but i was so scared, jaehyun."
his expression softens at your state, replaced with a mixture of sadness and resignation. "scared of what?", he asks quietly, his words hanging heavy in the air. you feel the need to pause for a moment, hands balled into tight fists as you try to regulate your breathing. you really didn't take into account how debilitating the night would be on yourself. sure, you knew it was going to be tough seeing jaehyun again, especially if he agreed to pretend to be together, but you weren't really expecting to hash it out like this, the weight of your decision pressing down on your like a leaden blanket.
the car moves so slow it may as well be still but when you turn to him, you can feel the burn of jaehyun's gaze, his eyes searching for some semblance of understanding. "i loved you", he whispers, voice cracking with the intensity of his words. "i would've done anything for you."
you're still, you're so so still. tears threaten to spill from your eyes as you struggle to find the right words to say, but he's completely thrown you off. the car has slowed to a stop, engine idling before he eventually turns it off in favour of turning to you.
"that's exactly why," you reply weakly, your voice a fraction of the volume it normally is. he surveys you intently, his expression a mix of confusion and hurt, eyes reflecting the very same sadness you feel.
"what do you mean?"
"i was scared of hurting you," your confession does nothing to ease his confusion, but you can see he looks more shocked than anything now. "scared of hurting me?," he echoes, his uncertainty and disbelief palpable. "this is so ironic, it's almost funny..."
you think hearing any more of what he has to say is actually going to kill you internally, so you know you have to rush to explain before he starts giving you a piece of his mind again. "i know, it's so fucking stupid, jaehyun", your voice is trembling from the sheer guilt you feel, bottom lip quivering so much you have to bite it to get it to stop. "everything was going so perfectly, you were so perfect, and it scared me so much."
he falls silent, much to your relief, his expression even softening minutely as he processes your words and this gives you the encouragement to continue. "remember that night on the beach? on the trip last year?", you speak tentatively, wanting him to understand your thought process and the tangled mess of emotions swirling inside you at the time, though it's not much of a defense. the memory floods into your mind so vividly, and you can see it all; the salt in the air, the gentle breeze, the feeling of the sand, your intertwined hands swinging. it was so serene and you'd give anything to be there in that moment again, though it's nothing but a distant dream now.
he nods slowly without speaking, and you release a wet sort of laugh, feeling like you'd choke on the lump in your throat. "we talked about everything that night, our families, our childhoods, our futures...and then you brought up what would happen after we graduated college."
you know he remembers because his eyes light up with recognition and he looks like he's replaying that exact moment in his head, and you hope he remembers it with the same soft, gushy feeling you do. "you said you wanted to move in together, and don't get me wrong, i was thrilled, but it made me realise how...serious everything was, you know?", your voice catches in your throat and you're talking to yourself as much as you're talking to him and he seems to understand that, because he makes no attempt to stop you.
it's silent again for a bit as you two reminisce, but you break it again. "i just knew i was going to fuck up, jaehyun. maybe not right away, but eventually, and the thought terrified me," you sniffle a little, not being able to bring yourself to look up from your hands to meet his gaze. "that feeling never really went away, and it was eating me up from the inside. it got so bad that i had convinced myself that you were going to leave me, so i had to do it first, before i fucked up."
your sorrowful confession hangs in the air like an echo and you finally give in to the urge to look at him, and you're shocked– he looks at you so carefully, his expression soft, much, much softer than before. you couldn't stop the tears from finally falling if you tried , the soft glow of the dashboard illuminating the contours of your now wet face. your shared eye contact makes you feel nervous, but not in the way you were expecting– it's too gentle, too raw and it makes you feel a certain way.
"i know it's not an excuse," you're blubbering so much that your cheeks feel hot, you're practically falling apart in the passenger seat of jaehyun's car while he watches and lets you pour all your miseries out onto him. "you don't know how much i regretted it...but i thought i did the right thing. for the both of us. even though i just ended up doing what i was trying to avoid by hurting you."
it's too much now, jaehyun's too silent, and too not-angry for your liking; why is he looking at you in a way that makes you feel like he doesn't think you're the worst person in the world? you can't hold back the sob that's building in your chest, doubling over in favour of pressing your hands against your face and bawling into them. you're not too loud a cryer, but the tremors of emotion you feel are making your shoulders shake, so you're crying silently into your hands while trembling. however guarded he tries to be, the gentleness of his voice overpowers it as he speaks. "i know, shh...," he murmurs and you can't believe your ears, that the man you thought hated you is actually attempting to comfort you after everything. "breathe, y/n."
like it's second nature to him, his hand travels to your back as the sobs wrack through your body, immediately drawing soothing circles on to your covered skin with his thumb. you don't know how but this almost makes you feel worse, the fact that he's still so caring towards you. you pluck up the strength to lift your face from your moist hands, and you're sure it's not a pretty sight that greets him. your nose feels unbelievably stuffy, and your face is on fire when you meet his sympathetic eyes, the warmth from his gaze and hand spreading throughout you, even though he's now removed it. "i'm sorry," you manage through sniffles, but you think you almost flatline when he reaches his hand towards your face, ever so gently caressing it. his thumb juts out and sweeps across the skin under your eye, wiping away at the wetness. "i know."
"shh, it's okay. you're okay", he coos gently and slowly takes his hand back in favour of imitating slow breaths for you, helping you relax a little as you copy him. "why would you think i'd leave you?", he asks carefully once you've calmed down a bit and wiped your tear-streaked face, simply surveying you now. all you can offer him is a defeated shrug, attempting to collect your thoughts. "remember i told you about my ex? the very first one?"
he nods.
"i moved on obviously, like ages ago, but since then i think i've always had this idea that getting dumped is inevitable", you try to explain, voice small as he listens patiently. "it was either leave them or get left, and i was so scared that it would happen with you, that i'd fuck up so bad that you would leave. i couldn't do it."
he frowns and calls out your name in a way that sounds like he's about to lecture you, but you know he can't tell you anything that you haven't already told yourself. "i know, jae, it was so stupid, i know. i don't regret anything more", you sigh, giving him a tight, small smile when you lock eyes. "i'm sorry."
you notice his eyes soften at the nickname, releasing a quiet huff before he runs a hand through his hair. his body language doesn't carry the same anger it did before when he was ranting, now looking subdued and reflective. "i understand why you did what you did. it was stupid, but i understand", he murmurs, his voice impossibly soft when meeting your gaze, the eye contact so intense that you have to physically remind yourself not to cry again by digging your fingernails into your palms. "i would've never left you."
you nod slowly at his admission, his words hanging in the air. "i should've just talked to you...", you concluded in a sullen way and he doesn't reply in full, just mumbling a soft "yeah" under his breath. you don't mind the silence that fills the car this time, the underlying tension more or less dissipated, but you do notice the time, realising that jaehyun still needs to go back home after dropping you.
"should we, uh...", you gesture towards the road and he jumps up in his seat, as though he forgot that he was driving you somewhere in the first place, muttering "sorry" before twisting the key to start the car. this makes you let out an involuntary giggle and jaehyun shoots you a quick glare which immediately shuts you up, a certain warmth blooming in your chest when you see a small smile creep on to his face out of the corner of your eye.
it's quiet for a bit, jaehyun focusing on the road while you gaze out the window. much to your dismay, both the road and the various buildings and shops start to look a lot more familiar, indicating that you are nearing your home. you shouldn't be dismayed really, because this wasn't the most congenial of car rides, but it means that your time with jaehyun is coming to an end. you don't know what the conversation that took place means for you and him however, because unless you're alarmingly stupid, you feel that he may not hate you as much as he once did. does this mean you might even be able to see him again sometime? in a setting where you're not sweating and shaking at just the thought of seeing him?
you think it might be a bit audacious of you to ask that, so you don't. instead, you turn to him with a light grin, playing with the necklace clasped around your neck. "hey, at least you got some new headphones out of all of this", you joke lightheartedly, eyeing the package sitting on the backseat. he lets out a heartwarming chuckle at your comment, glancing at the bag through his rear view mirror. "i can't believe your parents bought that for me. you think they'll make me return it when they find out we aren't together?", he remarks, and you do your best to ignore the little pang you feel at the reminder of your situation. his comment does make you snort though, and you nod along with him. "nah, you need it more than anyone. your airpods have seen better days."
he laughs again, and you wouldn't believe that you two were arguing back and forth like madmen some twenty minutes back. this feels familiar and comfortable, and you cross your fingers in case you jinx it. "do you remember that time when we planned a picnic..." jaehyun begins, a sense of nostalgia shining through his cheeks. "and you forgot to bring the speakers? and we tried blasting music through my one airpod?"
you can't stop the peals of laughter that escape from your mouth as you nod, covering your mouth when your snort makes him laugh as well. "remind me why we didn't just play the music straight from your phone?", you question, replaying the memory in your mind like it was recent. he pauses to think for a moment, rubbing the back of his neck while he hums. "yeah, what the fuck? why didn't we just do that?"
you're laughing in unison as you take this trip down memory lane together, the next few minutes of the car ride consisting of exclamations of "oh! remember when..." and "that time when...", both of you adding on to the memories with your own perspectives and insights. the fact that the conclusion of your little dispute remains ambiguous doesn't bother you too much at the moment, happy to just enjoy the warm atmosphere while you can.
jaehyun's animatedly recounting a story about your sister downloading a game on his phone when you face him, and the last thing you remember paying attention to was that she had somehow managed to spend a large amount of his actual money on it. your eyes are focused on him now, just studying him, and he seems to realise that you aren't listening to his story when he glances at you.
"what?", he questions, the corner of his eyes crinkling when he narrows them at you in an playful manner, taking one hand off the steering wheel to drum absentmindedly on his thigh. "nothing, i just...", you trail off, scanning his features. "you changed your hair. it's...nice. i wanted to tell you that earlier."
he clearly wasn't expecting the compliment, mouth opening and then closing as he tries to think of an admissible reply. "you like it?", he then asks, a shy smile tugging at his lips when he consciously cards his fingers through the longer bit at the back. at your reaffirming nod and heavy gaze, the expected pink sheen dusts his cheeks and though you can't see them, you know the tips of his ears are pink too. he mumbles something of a timid "thank you", both of you smiling like idiots while he trains his eyes on the road.
not too soon after, his car is pulling into your dark driveway. you can't help the sinking feeling in your chest, lips curved slightly downwards. none of the lights are on, save for the streetlight, illuminating the street in a ghostly, dim way. your house looks just like it had for the past many months, gloomy and lonely, and you're absolutely dreading the idea of moping around once again. if this day spent with jaehyun has showed you anything, it's that you're a 100% sure you've not moved on, and that you won't for a long, long time. simply put, you're still in love with him, and you'll have to carry the cross of your mistake for some time to come.
he switches the ignition off but neither of you move. you're sat in your dull driveway on an otherwise empty street, all the other lights of your neighbouring houses off. neither of you say anything, mostly because you're not sure what one is supposed to say in this situation, so everything is still.
"so–"
"well–"
you let out a nervous chuckle while he smiles a bit, both of you mumbling apologies for interrupting each other. "you go first", jaehyun compels you, but now you don't know what to say because you were just going to make it up as you speak. your mouth has a way of working faster than your brain sometimes, but neither seem to be too functional at the present moment. "no, you go", is all you got, and jaehyun has the nerve to roll his eyes, twisting in his seat a little so he's facing you.
"i was just going to say that we uh, reached your place", he claims in a deadpanned manner, but your car door is still locked and your seatbelt is still locked in. you think you must have lost your mind, hoping that he'd tell you to stay with him forever and never leave (which you would have agreed to in a heartbeat). "i guess we have...", you nod, looking out the window and observing your home. maybe it was the dread of going back to your old routine that gave you the sudden boost of confidence, but you realise he never answered your question from before.
"jaehyun...", you begin but falter when you think you might be overstepping, ultimately deciding to just ask anyway when he looks at you expectantly. "why did you agree to come today? we both know you didn't have to."
he looks like he was dreading the very question you asked for some time, shutting his eyes when he leans his head back against the headrest and sighs. "i don't know", is the answer he gives you, voice muffled through the palms of his hands that are rubbing his face tiredly. biting your lip, you have to hold back a similar sigh because you should've known he's not going to just tell you like that. you have no right to press, but yet you do, one more time. "jaehyun, please?"
maybe it's because you sound so meek, but he drops his hands in favour of looking at you, really looking at you, like he's searching your eyes. "why do you think?", he turns it back on you, but you know this is just his way of avoiding the question. "if i knew, i wouldn't be asking. i know you don't have to tell me, you don't owe me a single thing, i just–", you speak desperately with all of the confidence you can muster, worried that your bottom lip would start trembling again. "please, i need to know."
you're looking each other dead in the eye, and while your voice isn't strong, it's honest and raw, and jaehyun can sense that. you can see that there's a million thoughts running in his mind just by the pained look in his eye and your own heartbeat has picked up, the sound deafening in your ears.
"if you haven't figured it out by now, i don't know what to tell you."
thud. thud. thud. you wonder if he can hear your heartbeat over the sound of his, but the blood pumping through your veins is making your ears ring, because what did he mean by that? you hope it means what you want it to mean, but you can't just assume you know everything because you're delusional at this point. "jaehyun, what are you sayi–"
"i agreed because i'm still in love with you."
there it is. the silence after his confession is positively deafening, your mouth agape as your try to register what you just heard. your eyes flicker between his, searching for any signs that he's just messing you and that it's some cruel joke, though it would be completely in his right to fuck with you if he wanted. he's never looked more vulnerable, eyes trained on you in an almost frantic way, like he himself can't believe what he just said. the way he just blurted it out makes you think that he didn't fully mean to admit that, but it's out, nothing he could do to take it back.
"what?", your own voice sounds like an echo and you wish you had something else to say because you heard him loud and clear, but there's a burning ache in your chest that claws all the way up to your throat. the shock is evident in your voice, not knowing what to do with yourself as you visibly process his words. "tell me you're joking", you plead in a pained way, words barely above a whisper. he doesn't say anything, looking lost in his own thoughts as his eyes scan your face. "you don't hate me?"
"hate you?", he scoffs disconsolately, shaking his head slowly. "i couldn't hate you if i tried. and believe me, i tried."
you can hardly believe your ears. you know your heart shouldn't be pounding the way it is, it feels wrong almost for you to be feeling as relieved as you are. "after everything?", you insist dumbfoundedly, but the longing in your voice is palpable, even if you're trying to give him a way out. "i was so horrible to you, jaehyun." you hate the way your voice cracks, but jaehyun just sighs and offers you a sad smile.
"there's nothing you could do to make me hate you."
it's heartbreaking, how defeated he sounds, but he's also looking at you like you could do no wrong in his eyes. "i never moved on", you whisper, hesitance clear as you tell him the truth. "i couldn't delete any of our pictures, i still have all your clothes, sometimes i accidentally set the table for two when it's just me..."
he's blinking quickly, and if you didn't know any better, you'd say he was trying to hold back tears. your break-up did nothing but cause immense amounts of pain for the both of you, and you'd give anything in the world to make up the time lost. his wide-eyed and nearly motionless expression urges you to continue, ready to pour out your heart to the man you loved.
"i still have your number memorised", your face mirrors his, voice growing stronger by the minute. "all the gifts and letters you've ever given me, they're all still there in that shoebox in my cupboard."
"i thought about you everyday", his whisper is raspy, speaking right after you do. "every party i went to, i looked for you even though i knew you wouldn't be there. you know johnny tried setting me up with people?"
you try to suppress the little sting, but you feel it deep inside you. "he did?", you have to clear your throat, and you almost don't want to ask but you do anyway. he releases a sad little chuckle and nods, toying with his fingers. "yeah. i knew i was doomed when the whole date, i wished she was you."
the smile finds its way on to your face against your will, feeling that familiar lump make its way to your throat. "she could've made you happy, jae", you argue anyway because at the end of the day, you want the best for him, and you know you're far from the best.
"no one could make me feel the way you do, y/n", he replied honestly, and there's a sense of finality to his words, like he'd had this same argument with himself time and time again, only to come to this conclusion. “the thought of anyone else touching you made me sick”, he croaked, not missing the way his eyes ghost over your frame.
his words bring about a noticeable shift in the air, followed by silence. he watches you, and you watch him, breathing slow as your eyes dart across his face.”i don’t want anyone but you”, you confess slowly, and a few beats pass before you find it in you to speak again. "i love you, jaehyun."
silence.
you expected disapproval, maybe even a malicious scoff, but you certainly weren't expecting to feel a soft pair of lips against yours as he suddenly lurches forward.
you're stunned, so stunned that you don't even reciprocate the kiss, lips unmoving against his. it's only when he takes this as a sign of discomfort and breaks the kiss that you find yourself reacting, hands immediately making their way to caress his cheeks, leaning forward to chase his lips and close the distance between you. he lets out a sound of surprise against your lips but kisses you back right away, a hand wrapping around your neck from the back, tangling itself in your hair. the kiss is heated and so long overdue, tangible through the way his lips meld furiously together with yours, teeth clashing every now and then.
your hands make their way to his broad shoulders, one wrapping around them while the other comes to rest on his chest, gripping the material of his hoodie. you have the urge to be impossibly close to him, trying to lean forward to kiss him more fully but you're restricted by your seatbelt. it's almost as if he can read your mind, because the hand placed against your face now moves to press on the buckle to release you without breaking the kiss. "fucking seatbelt...", he mumbles disgruntedly against your lips, fiddling with the button until you hear it click, finally separating yourself from him to slip it over you. "there we go."
you don't stay separated for long because jaehyun uses the hand behind your head to pull you towards him again, capturing your lips in a way that makes all the air leave your lungs. "come here", he grunts, using his long arms to pull you clumsily over the gearshift and straight on to his lap. you settle yourself in to the somewhat awkward position in the enclosed space, but that's the last thing on your mind when all your thoughts consist of jaehyun, jaehyun, jaehyun. his lips are back on yours in a instance, tongue sweeping across your bottom lip messily and you gladly allow it to explore your mouth.
the air is impossibly thick, heavily contrasting to the cold weather outside the car, even his lips and hands feel warm against your hot body. you feel his hands grip your waist easily in this position, lips leaving your own to drag across the expanse of your jaw. you whine quietly at the feeling of his mouth sucking a particular spot on your neck, tilting your head back as you wrap your arms around his neck. "missed this", he muses, tongue peeking out to kitten lick at your neck, breath hot against your sensitive skin. "missed you."
the feeling in your chest when his hands find their way under your shirt and on to your bare skin is inexplicable, unable to stop the soft moan from tumbling from your lips when his big hands glide over your stomach, back and finally your breasts. everything about the way he's touching you and kissing you is greedy and urgent, like he's afraid you'll disappear from his arms if he loosens his grip even by a little bit. you'd be a fool to not match this energy, pressing into him while you squeeze your hands over his. "need you so bad, jae."
you're subconsciously grinding down against him needily, hips stuttering against his lap like you've never been touched before. "fuck", your eyes widen at the groan that leaves his throat, sounding absolutely guttural as he grips the skin of your hip harshly.
he's barely done anything and you're coming undone right in front of his watchful eyes, your panties dampening at the look on his face. "jae..", you whine when his fingers dip past the waistband of your pants, gently cupping your clothed core as you rut against it. "shit, baby", he marvels at the stickiness of your panties, feeling your wetness on his fingers just through the material. "you really missed me, huh?"
you don't even have the time to respond to his cocky remark before his fingers are slipping beneath the band of your panties to circle your clit, spreading the wetness around your folds. a breathy sigh escapes your lips, throwing your head back as he experimentally prods at your entrance and eventually slips a finger inside. "still so tight for me", he all but groans, pumping his finger in and out of you languidly, drinking in the sounds of your pleasure. he feels so blissfully familiar, and though you haven't been touched by him, or anyone for that matter for months, the stretch of his second finger feels the same kind of intimate as it did before, if not more.
you lean forward and press your lips against his once again, kissing him like you might never get the chance to again, all while you're grinding back down on his hand that's fingering you steadily with a thumb circling your clit at the same time. his free hand moves to bunch your top up above your breasts, peppering kisses over the tops of them. he wastes no time in pulling your breasts free from from their cups, attaching his lips to one nipple and swirling his tongue around it in a way that makes you cry out. "my pretty girl", he mumbles almost to himself while cupping your other breast, making a show out of it as his tongue flicks over your hardened bud over and over until your arching your back and pressing it further into his face. “thought about this all the time.”
keeping in mind that you're still technically in a public place, you bite your lip to contain the sounds of your pleasure, though jaehyun doesn't make it easy when he notices this and increases the pace of his fingers. the hand fondling your breast leaves it unattended for a moment to release your bottom lip from your teeth, smoothing his thumb over the swollen skin. "i've waited months to hear these sounds. let me hear you, baby", he all but purrs and that's all it takes for a moan to tumble out of your mouth, pressing your forehead against the side of his face while you screw your eyes shut out of pleasure.
with his attack on your sensitive buds and his fingers pistoning inside of you, you know you aren't going to last long. "already?", jaehyun chides with a small smirk, and it's embarrassing how well he knows your body, grazing his teeth against your nipple in a way that feels painful and heavenly at the same time. you can feel his rock hard bulge against you, and with the untimely grinding of your hips against him, you're sure this is torturous for him. "don't wanna come like this", you whine against his cheek, your entire body feeling sticky from the heat inside the closed vehicle. your puckered lips leave wet kisses all over the expanse of his cheek, and the boyish giggle that leaves his mouth makes your heart flutter. "wanna feel you, jae."
his head is thrown back against the headrest and his eyes are shut tightly, jaw clenched as he slowly slips his fingers out of you. though you whine at the loss of contact and you're almost grinding against the air, you want nothing more than to make him feel good as well. "want you to fill me up", you coo at him, softly linking your hands behind his neck as you test the waters with your words. it's clear they have an effect on him, both hands placed on your hips as he helps you lazily grind against his erection. "don't– have a condom", he grits out, hips bucking up to meet yours. "don't need one", you murmured immediately, knowing he wants this as bad as you do.
his eyes flicker open at that, one hand leaving your hip to brush some stray hairs away from your face, gently tucking some behind your ear. you could melt at the way he's looking at you, so tender and loving, a warmth spreading all over you until you feel like you have to look away. he doesn't let you however, hand quickly coming you to cup your cheek before leaning in place a small peck against your lips. "are you sure?", he sounds breathless, but still firm as his eyes glance between yours like he's reading them.
if he can read them, he'll know that you can't nod fast enough, dragging your hips across his needily to show him. "i'm sure. i want you, jae.", you're so needy that you don't even bother to take your pants or panties off fully, fingers fumbling with the waistband as you shimmy them down a little, leaving your underwear on. you swear your mouth waters when he unbuttons his pants and lets his cock spring out against his stomach, lustful eyes taking in the way he keeps his shirt up with his teeth. if this weren't such an awkward position, you'd have taken him in your mouth in an instant, knowing exactly what to do to hear the man in front of you whimper.
nudging your panties to the side, he focuses on collecting your wetness all over the tip of his dick, hissing at the contact. "please", you whine, not wanting to waste another moment, finally sighing in relief when he begins to press his cock inside you. he swears under his breath at the feeling, and you're feeling so stretched out just from him slipping it in even though you're still so wet that you just go lax in his arms until he bottoms out. "that's it", he grunts like he's holding back. "taking me so well, angel."
you preen at his praise, finally beginning to move your hips a little at his coaxing. sighing against the shell of his ear, he picks up the pace for you, not warning you before thrusting upwards to meet your movements with a groan. you can feel your mind going blank at the sensation, your moans sounding more like cries whenever he snaps his hips into yours, the obscene sounds filling the car. you're just so full, his hands gliding up and down your sides as he fucks deep inside you, making up for all the lost time. "you feel so good, baby", he barely gets his words out, but it gives you the encouragement to bounce up and down on his thick cock a little faster than before, his eyes widening at the feeling. "just like that."
he's kissing and sucking all over your neck again, lips ghosting over whatever skin he can reach and it's all so much, feeling a single tear stream down your face. he almost slows down for a second when he feels the tear drop on to his own face, eyebrows raised in surprise because he thinks he's hurting you, but he's even more shocked when you let out the high-pitched whine. "what's wrong, angel?", he mumbles into your neck, peering up at you carefully. you shake your head profusely, continuing to grind down on his cock. "i just- just love you so much, jae", you blabber incoherently, so wet that you're practically gushing around his dick.
"aw, baby", he shushes you sweetly, pressing his forehead against yours as his thrusts become more and more erratic. "i'm here. not going anywhere." the coil in your stomach is tightening and you can feel every inch of him inside you, more tears threatening to spill from your eyes before he's kissing them away. "i'm here."
he's hitting all the right spots inside you in this position, and he's basically doing all the work because you're like putty in his strong arms, all you can do is moan and cry out against him weakly. "i'm close", you warn him, but you know he already knows that, and you know he is too, slipping your hand down to where his rests on your hip and interlacing your fingers. "me too, pretty", he sputters through his teeth, giving your hand a tight squeeze as you start to come undone. “want you to cum. can you do that for me?”
"oh my god", you're crying out as you cum around his cock, body and mind going numb and ears ringing as the coil finally snaps. "cum inside me, jae, please", his eyes go wide at the way you're begging him, and he doesn't look like he can hold back much longer. "fuck angel, you- you sure–"
"yes, please, need you to fill me up", you cut him off, too sensitive from the way he's helping you ride out your high to move anymore. with a few more sloppy thrusts, his cock is twitching inside you before you lets out a guttural groan, his warm cum filling you up. you go limp against him, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck as the both of you try to regulate your heartbeats.
the sounds of your heavy breathing fills up the car along with jaehyun's soft murmurs of "so perfect" and "did so well for me". any doubts you had in your mind of this being a mistake in jaehyun's eyes are wiped away when he begins petting your head, gently smoothing your messy hair as he presses firm kisses to your head. his cock softens inside of you but he makes no move to pull out, wrapping his arms around your waist while you do the same around his neck, simply sitting in each other's presence silently.
you struggle but finally pick yourself up, gazing at his moonlit face from your place on his lap. “you okay? was that okay?”, he murmurs softly, his voice thick and eyes hazy as he traces little shapes on your back. “more than okay”, you reply tiredly, pressing your lips against his once again because you feel you’re in a dream-like state right now. you're sure he's the most beautiful man you're ever had the privilege of looking at, feeling incredibly vulnerable when you speak again even though he's looking at you with nothing but love in his eyes. "now what?", you question, suddenly feeling like you've jumped the gun when he opens his mouth to say something but stays silent. "never mind, don't answer that, we'll talk about it later", you shake your head, laughing a little breathlessly when he grins at you, pecking his forehead sweetly.
you look away from him and at your lifeless house, mouth working faster than your brain once again. "would you...want to come in?", you wince, feeling kind of stupid for asking but meaning it anyway. you're both comforted and thrilled when a large grin is plastered on to his face, feeling like maybe your home won't be as lifeless anymore.
pairing: collegestudent!literatureprodigy!jeno x afab!collegestudent!scienceandmathgenius!reader
summary: jeno was the biggest problem you've ever had to solve, but for him you weren't quite an open book either.
w.c: 9.4k
warnings: mdni 18+, MATH, i did so much research i feel like i need to cite my sources, thank you quizlet, angst, hurt and comfort, frenemies to lovers, fluff, jeno and y/n argue a lot and yell at each other, teasing, misunderstandings, YEARNING, kissing, make-ups and confessions, plot WITH porn, love making very intimate, hard with feelings and refuse to listen to each other, unprotected sex (i better not catch y'all doing this), praising, crying, begging, groveling, pet names (baby), oral (f receiving), creampie (YUM), softdomtop!jeno (just as god intended), crack/humor, scientific talk because smart (i never took bio in college), if i forgot anything pls lmk. reblogs and feedback appreciated ♡ fiction ≠ reality. HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENO!!!
‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.
‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’
you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment. you had been dreading today, your world literature 1 professor had told you all a week ago that you would be paired up with a partner for your first project. your major in biology and minor in actuarial mathematics required some literature classes to help with ‘scientific writing and understanding’ as your advisor put it. so you figured world literature 1 was the easiest choice, it turned out to actually be hell on earth. your weakest subject was english and literature, you were never a reader growing up unless it was about different sciences, but you always opted for documentaries and videos than reading. growing up, you’d always dread english class, anxiously waiting for whatever science and math class you could have next.
when you tell people that your favorite subject is math and then science they would laugh and usually end it with an ‘i wish’, that was your english and history, you wish you could understand it better, but it always seemed impossible. what you were least expecting was getting paired with the best literature student you knew, jeno. he annoyed you at times, acting like a pretentious asshole going around and quoting shakespeare and some other century-dead author. when you went and quoted pythagroas near him it was now apparently a problem, you two bickered back and forth in class during group introductions about greek philosophers for almost an hour, debating if aristotle was more of a math genius or a linguistics expert.
after the heated discussion, jeno told you ‘i love a good debate, you have some crazy opinions though’ he ended up giving you his phone number. it was only the first week of classes, your first ‘friend’(?), you texted him that night, but no response came. the next week you were struggling with questions your professor had given you all to go with a reading.
you texted jeno:
‘hey is this correct? *PICTURE ATTACHED*
his response chimed on your phone five minutes later:
‘no’
and that was the only response you got, no help, no explanation, you didn’t even know what was wrong with your answer to begin with. fuck this, you ended up calling him, to your surprise he answered with a ‘what?’
you didn’t mean to blow up on him, but it just came out, ‘why can’t you be nice to me for one second and help me with this student homework?’
he sighed, making your ear vibrate with the sound, ‘take back what you said and i’ll help you’
you grumbled but obliged, ‘this homework and reading is not stupid, now please help me’
you guys ended up talking on the phone for almost two hours, discussing different themes from the reading, mostly arguing about who was right, but in the end jeno helped you get answers that were good enough. he talked you through the questions and the actual themes of the reading, the elements, and showed you how to better analysis pieces of literature. you were eternally grateful but absolutely mortified at the same time.
after that phone call, you were psyched, finally finding someone that could help you pass. you were always the person in math classes that everyone went to, you didn’t have to be that person for others anymore. although you remember all the emotional baggage and difficulty when trying to help others study and understand formulas, you wouldn’t ask much of jeno, only when you really needed it.
two weeks ago you found him in the library, doing homework with books scattered around him. the first thing you noticed were glasses that he had never worn before, big frames making his eyes look much bigger in such a cute way. you figured if you asked he wouldn’t mind if you joined him, and you figured that if you asked in an even nicer way, he could help you with the literature homework.
‘hey jeno!’ you greeted him, walking up to his table, he looked up, pink lips still in a straight line, ‘would you mind if i joined you?’
‘i guess not’ he shrugged and moved some of his books out of the way for you, now sitting across from him you smiled slightly and got out your own homework. abstract algebra was your favorite class so far this semester, you never thought getting homework would make you so giddy. you couldn’t believe some people found it excruciating, while it was just a ‘fun activity’ for you. you and jeno continue work in silence, you would steal glances every once in a while, his eyes scanning over the paper as he scribbled down notes and highlight sentences. eyebrows knitting together and whispering out words in order to analyze everything perfectly. you thought it was cute, his lips would curl up into a smile after every question got answered. sitting in front of him, you could see the perfect slope of his nose, his broad shoulders slouched as he leaned into the desk, his large hand brushing his black hair back sporadically. the golden ratio had nothing on him.
not long after the trance jeno left you in, you finished your math homework and now it was time for your enemy: literature. you looked up and glanced at jeno who was writing notes down, ‘hey’ he lifted his head, ‘do you think you could help me with this?’ you motioned down to the paper in front of you, he followed and noticed your blank page compared to his one that was filled.
‘did you even try?’ he questioned, ‘it looks like you haven’t even started’
‘well’ you started with a sheepish smile, ‘i did do the reading, but i could barely understand any of it’
he sighed, his hands reaching under his glasses so he could rub his eyes, ‘okay, and what part did you not understand?’
you grabbed your packet of papers and flipped until you found the sentence, reading out loud, ‘his sense of her inferiority—of its being a degradation—of the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination, were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to recommend his suit’, you looked up at him, offering the best pleading eyes you could muster.
he slightly rolled his eyes, ‘so, basically darcy should put away his pride of being in a higher ranking than elizabeth, but he cares more about her status than love. even while he is proposing, he still looks down on elizabeth and wants her to feel grateful that he is even considering her as a wife’
‘oh, i never thought of it that way’ you mumbled, looking down at your paper again.
‘don’t they teach you stuff like this in high school? god, i fear for your grade when we actually have to read and analyze a whole book and not just passages for exercises’
the sentence was a stab to the heart, taken aback you said nothing as shame burned through your body. growing up you’d have teachers, friends, and your parents comment on your lack of understanding for english and literature, but you’ve never heard a remark like this. it cut deep, you opened and closed your mouth, unable to give an actual response, incapable of making any snide comeback, you gathered your things, got up and walked away from him. before he started to see the tears that made its way down your face.
you avoided jeno as much as you could, you sat nowhere near him in your shared class, never looked in his direction in the courtyard and started taking different routes to other classes. it was working out great for the most part, that was until he had transferred into your biology ‘unity of life’ class three weeks into the semester, at the very last minute of course. rumors were going around that a lot of students had transferred out of his previous one due to it ‘being too hard’ and that the professor ‘was a nightmare’ and he needed a natural science requirement for his major, secondary education if you could remember correctly.
seeing him walk through the door of one of your favorite classes was a different type of personal hell, and you were having a great day so far. you softly groaned, trying to resist the urge to roll your eyes in annoyance. your desk partner seemed to catch on, jaemin turned to you, ‘whats wrong? forgot to do last nights homework?’
you turned towards him, ‘never, i was so excited for this assignment, i finished all the questions as soon as i got home… it’s just… that guy, the one who just walked in’ you glanced back to his lab table, jaemin followed with his eyes, ‘i’m in his literature class and he’s nothing but an egomaniac, basically called me dumb for not understand some passage from a book’
the blond haired boy frowned, ‘he might know some books, but wait until he gets a taste of a real challenge, he transferred too late into the semester, he’s fucked’. your lips twitched up into a smile. you met jaemin the first day of class, introducing himself as a veterinarian science major with a minor in biology. you two became quick friends after you got him coffee one morning, you ended up with two cups after the cafe got your first order wrong. he was nothing but thankful, long discussions in class that lead to topics that never related to science. you got to know him pretty well, often texting and meeting up for study groups with other students from class, you both always paired up in class whenever prompted.
‘that’s fair, would be satisfying to watch him struggle’ you whispered.
he giggled, ‘god you sound like such a sadist’
the professor pulled up his notes as he prepared for the beginning of class, ‘takes one to know one’
you opened your notebook to the current lesson: the cytoskeleton. the professor went through the slideshow while you happily took notes on cells and its structure and stabilities within the cytoplasm. once the professor was done with the lecture, he started asking students questions, seeing if they were paying attention.
‘okay, now what is a delicate coil held together by hydrogen bonding between every fourth amino acid?’ he looks over his roster of students, ‘jeno! why don’t you answer this for us’
on cue, everyone turned to watch him, his head shot up from his notebook in surprise. he obviously looked unprepared, hands nervously pushing his bangs back. ‘oh… um, i don’t know i’m sorry professor, i transferred late into this class and still need to catch up’ his hair looked wild as the tips of his ears shone a bright red.
the poor professor sighed, ‘does anyone want to help jeno out?’
you immediately shot up your hand, ‘y/n?’
you smiled dramaticly, before another breathe you answered, ‘alpha helix’
‘yes, thats correct! great job y/n… now you all need to pay attention, this will be on our first exam coming up in two weeks’ he went on about amino acids and different elements. jaemin leaned into you, ‘nice’ he whispered, a smile on his face. yeah, that would show jeno what you could do.
you peeked back at jeno who whispered ‘two weeks!?’ to himself looking distressed, you felt a pang in your heart. perhaps it wasn’t fair, stuff like this was never taught in secondary school science classes, obviously he was going to struggle. you weren’t going to seek him out and offer help though, he knew science and arithmetic were your strong suits, it was his turn to come running, beg for forgiveness and ask for help.
speak of the asshole, and it shall fart, jeno texted you later that night.
‘hey…’ you scoffed, the audacity of this guy, you resisted the urge to text him back a ‘you should know this already right?’
you texted back a simple ‘what?’
he immediately answered, ‘do you think you could help me with this bio homework and maybe study together for the exam ｡°(°.◜ᯅ◝°)°｡’. shameless.
giving him the benefit of the doubt, you relented. maybe it was an off day for him, ‘i guess, meet me in the library tomorrow, and we’ll start’ he hearted the message and that was the end of the conversation.
you woke up early the next day, grabbing every notebook you had kept over the years that could help jeno. you texted him right after noon, ‘this is an all day affair, meet me in an hour and bring me a caramel macchiato. don’t be late, pride & prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he liked the message as a response. you left your dorm and headed to the library, setting up a space for a long study session. jeno comes right on time, with two coffees in his hand.
he places the bigger cup down in front of you, ‘large caramel macchiato, with extra caramel, extra vanilla, and extra drizzle’
you look up at him and give him a modest smile, grabbing the drink and taking a sip from the straw and swirling the ice around the cup, ‘thank you, lets get started’ he nodded and pulled out the chair next to you and sat down.
you got out all your notebooks, his eyes widened making you giggle, ‘jesus christ dude, how many notebooks do you have for this class?’
‘well, not all of them are from this class, i brought some from previous classes that i think could help you’ you handed over a stack of notes, which he begrudgingly took. ‘okay, now lets get started…’
you two had spent hours discussing carbohydrates, cellulose, and enzymes. sometimes arguing back and forth about answers, ‘okay so, a system of membranes that modifies and packages proteins for export by the cell?’ you asked jeno as he flipped through his notes.
‘um… integrins?’ he answered, totally unsure of himself in the process.
you smiled, ‘not quite, its the golgi apparatus, integrins are cell-surface receptor proteins… crazy how you don’t remember this from basic biology classes…’ you mumbled the last part.
but of course he still caught it, ‘what was that?’
you shrugged your shoulders, ‘i mean we learn about cells and stuff in secondary school… everyone knows that the golgi apparatus is the packaging and distribution center of the cells, i mean everyone talks about how the mitochondria is the power house of the cell, is that the only thing you remember from biology?’
his eyebrows shot up in surprise, ‘oh? so that's what this is about?’ he smirked, ‘you’re still upset about what i said last week aren’t you?’
your gaze diverted from his line of sight, thankful you wore your hair down this morning so he wouldn’t see the pink burning on the tips of your ears. ‘no… i’m just saying’
‘...saying almost the same exact thing i said?’ jeno smiled, and his eyes turned into crescent moons, happy that he caught you in the act, ‘understandable… well, uh, if you help me, i’ll help you’
you crossed your arms and narrowed your eyes at him, ‘not until you apologize, not everyone can be as good as you in literature’
‘okay, i’m sorry, you are a genius in math and science, now please agree’ jeno pleaded.
‘fine’ you answered.
another week passed and jeno finally felt comfortable taking the exam, on the other hand your literature professor started talking about a project for that class. jeno reassured you that he would help you in the best way he could, he helped you with literary analysis, notations, and rhetoric. you ended up getting an 85% percent on the most recent homework, excited to show jeno you made your way to the classroom.
‘so, jeno, i’ve been seeing you hanging out with that y/n person in our class’ you stopped before the entrance to the classroom, ‘they literally know nothing about literature and refuse to learn, how could you put yourself through that?’
‘oh, well, um, i don’t know, i’m just helping them with some stuff’ jeno answered. you peeked inside, he was with two other students, a girl and a boy, sitting together in a group.
‘must be pretty frustrating, i don’t know why they are even in this class, fucking moron, am i right?’ the girl responded and you could hear the others, but jeno, laugh.
you could feel your heart break as your mind begin to buzz. eyes watered, and you thought back to your discussion with jaemin, of course you guys were poking fun at jeno too, but nothing this extreme. ‘i mean, i guess one could think that, but everything about th-’ you couldn’t listen anymore, turned your heels and stormed off. stopping at the end of the hallway to through your graded paper away in anger and humiliation. after everything you both did for each other, it made your blood boil in anger and betrayal, you had to get back home. you paced to your dorm, keeping your head down so no one would notice you and your state of mind right now. skipping one literature class wouldn’t hurt.
so it did, and now here you are, sitting in your literature class with the professor reading out the pairings for the first project. for the rest of the week and over the weekend, you had ignored jeno’s texts and calls, you decided you were finally done with his games. ‘y/n and jeno’ the professor read out to the class.
‘WHAT’ you gasped, not noticing you had barked it out until everyone turned around and glared at you.
‘i’m sorry?...’ your professor had stopped everyone to bring attention back, she gave you a quizzical look, ‘is there a problem?’
you shook your head, still surprised by your sudden outburst, ‘n-no, i apologize’ you hung your head in shame, red blooming on your cheeks from embarrassment.
your professor nodded and resumed her list of partners, after she announced to the class, ‘now sit with your partners and discuss what you all want to do for your projects for the rest of class’
you groaned, you weren’t ready to face jeno yet, you probably never would be. you never wanted to see or speak to him ever again, you shuffled to his seat, taking your time to get over to him and sit down.
‘hey’ he said, ‘you’ve been ignoring me this whole week, whats up?’
fake ass bitch, you thought, he didn’t care, ‘nothing, just not a good week i guess’
he frowned, ‘damn, well, if it makes you feel better, i got a 90% on my first bio exam!’ he beamed, ‘so at least now you know your hard work is paying off’
‘that’s great, glad you’ve been getting at least something out of this’ you deadpanned.
he gave you a quizzical look, but decided to drop the subject, ‘so, for the project i was thinking about covering the tenant of wildfell hall’
you literally didn’t care and let him pick whatever, ‘yeah that’s fine’
his eyes narrowed, giving you a weird look again, ‘okay… so, the book has themes of double standards, religion, morality, and love. i can send you passages that we can cover for our project…’. jeno went on for the next thirty minutes with only little nods and comments from you, agreeing to anything he had to suggest. all you wanted to do was leave, once the professor dismissed class that's what you did, picking up your backpack and storming off with jeno still talking.
you rushed down the hallway, ignoring the calls coming from jeno behind you. with his crazy athletic built he eventually caught up to you, grabbed your shoulder and spun you around. you gazed up at him, he stared down at you, looking for any answer he could find. ‘what is your problem? i thought you’d be happy we were paired up?’ he started interrogating you.
you sighed, almost giving up, ‘jeno, can we just meet up later and talk about it? i’m exhausted right now’
he sighed and his hands fell from your shoulders, ‘i’ll text you’ he nodded, and you turned around and left. once at your dorm you threw your backpack to the side and climbed into your bed, taking a well needed nap. a few hours later, your phone vibrating next to you pulled you out of dream land.
3 missed texts from jeno:
‘y/n, are you able to come over to my apartment soon?’
‘plz stop being so stubborn its annoying plz just talk to me’
‘here’s the address lmk when ur on the way’
you texted him back:
‘sorry i was taking a nap’
‘i can be there in a bit’
you got up and got ready, grabbed your backpack and left for jeno’s. once you got there it took you a good five minutes to have the courage to knock on his door. hesitant you tenderly knocked on the door, after a second he opened up the door and let you inside without another word. he was in shorts and a sleeveless t-shirt and smelled immaculate, you gulped, raking your eyes over his body, strong arms and long legs, a face without imperfections. your heart burned in anger and panic, angry that he was so gorgeous it pissed you off, panic because all you could think was what the fuck am i doing right now? ‘do you want to sit down? i saw you brought your backpack, we can work on some stuff if you want?’
you nodded, walked over to the couch and plopped down, grabbing your backpack you opened it and got your laptop out, pulling up the notes from your calculus 2 class. jeno joined you on the couch, sitting a little bit to close for comfort, but you said nothing. his bare leg brushed against your clothed one, sending a buzzing sensation all throughout your body, trying your best to ignore him you stayed focused on your screen.
question 1: x³ + 2x² - 6z = 4 - 2y²
without a second thought you typed in the answer:
r³cos³0 + 2r² - 6z = 4
submitting it you smiled as the green checkmark popped up, correct on the first try. ‘damn, that’s crazy’ jeno broke the silence, you glanced over at him.
‘what?’ you said turned back to your laptop.
‘i literally understood none of that and you got it on the first try!? that’s literally fucking insane’
you laughed at his outburst, ‘it’s nothing really, it was kind of easy, just plug in the following x and y polar conversion formulas into the equation where possible, then you just rewrite everything and use the formulas to convert the equation into cylindrical coordinates’
jeno howled in laughter, which was contagious enough to make you laugh, ‘that’s insane, you’re amazing’
you cocked your head to the side, intrigued by his word choice, ‘oh? am i?’
his demeanor changed, the air felt heavy as he calmed down and moved closer to you. he leaned in, and you panicked, he glanced down at your lips and back up to your eyes. his long eyelashes met his cheeks, you followed suit and closed your eyes, ignoring the way your mind is screaming at you not to do this. heart says otherwise, as you could hear it beat in your ears, whole body buzzing as his pink, soft lips brushed against yours.
jeno moved in deeper, teeth clinking together as you ravaged your mouth, he was a starved man, and you were the last meal he would ever receive. it was warm and sensual, he reached around your waist and roughly pulled your torso into his. his nose bumped into yours as he moved his head slightly for better access, laptop completely abandoned to the side your arms lifted to his biceps, squeezing hard as you let out a soft moan. you broke the kiss as you pressed against his arms, your forehead leaned on his as you both caught your breath, between pants he smiled and laughed, you did not. anxiety ran your blood cold as now all you could think of was what he had said in the classroom about you. was this all a joke?
‘jeno…’ you started, and his smile faltered, ‘i can’t do this’ you stood up and grabbed your laptop and shoved it haphazardly into your backpack, heatedly rushing out of his apartment and down the hall to the entrance. again you ignored jeno as he called after you, his footsteps echoing behind you. you pushed the heavy door open and the air hit you with the wind flying through your hair. continuing down the lamp-lighted street, the boy was still trying to catch up to you.
‘y/n please, we forgot to talk about it’ he addressed your almost non-existent figure fading into the darkness.
he was hopeless by now, but still refused to give up, he moved again, ‘y/n!’
you stopped and turned around, walking up to him his build now growing hazy as water pooled in your eyes. ‘you wanna talk about it? you WANT to talk about it? FINE, you are such a stuck-up asshole, thinking i’m so stupid because i don’t have the best grade in our lit class. laughing about it with your friends when they call me a moron! you think you’re so great you didn’t even know what the chemical symbol was for sulfur, FUCKING SULFUR JENO’ you were yelling at this point, jabbing your finger into his chest with every emphasis in your anger. ‘you think you can play me in some fucked up game you have going on in your head, keeping me around so you can feel better about yourself and use me for help so you could pass an exam, i know i’ve asked you for help before, but at the end of it, all i wanted to do was be your friend, you could’ve said no, but i couldn’t. you gave me no choice but to give in with the deal that you’d help me in return, and you know what? i needed the help, badly. and you knew that and used it in a discussion with your friends that laughed at me because of it, you know how that made me feel? like absolute shit, i wanted to be your friend but all you have ever done was use me and hurt me, and guess what? you don’t have to fear for’ fingers motioning air quotations, ‘my grade because i got a good grade on my homework thanks to you, so thank you jeno! i really appreciate the help, i hope it really boosted your ego, maybe you can go fucking write a book about it or something, i don’t know and i don’t care, but i’m done’ your face was probably beet red at this point, while angry tear's avalanche down your face, you hastily whipped your face and snot that escaped during your outburst. his face focused into view, he was so pretty, and that made you tear up all over again, he could have been different.
he looked defeated, frustrated as his fists clenched into balls and relax over and over, ‘y/n, please let me explain, i di-’ you stopped him, placing your hand in front of his face.
‘do the math jeno, the probability that i would ever hear you out is slim…’ you turned and started walking away, briefly glancing back, he was still in the same spot. ‘it’s S by the way, the symbol for sulfur, maybe now you’ll remember it when you think back on this night… not so proud after all’ your voice cracked at the last sentence as your heart wrenched and stomach mangled, tears breaking through yet again.
you left him there.
you decided not to tell jaemin about what happened, but jeno’s absence was evident. you couldn’t sleep, all that replayed in your nightmare was his soft lips brushing against yours, and you swore you could still feel his strong arms pulling you forward, into him. the feeling that gave you clawed at your heart, beating you down every single time you closed your eyes and pictured his face smiling at you, laughing at you, annoyed at you. anything he gave you, you would take, no matter how much it broke you down. you liked him, no, you like him. even after everything he’s done, you still held a soft spot for him in your fractured heart. all the phone calls that turned into facetime when he would ask for help with math, and you had to show him the steps of a problem. laughing every time you would shake trying to hold your phone steady as he jokingly squawked, ‘keep still!’ when he would read passages to you over the phone late at night, and you’d have fallen asleep to his tender voice before he could even explain the motif. it had only been 5 weeks of class, but it felt like you had known him longer, despite your differences in subjects you both eventually subsided the arguments with long discussions and debates on why one answer was right and how the other was wrong. revelations that came to light after hours of going back and forth.
you stood in the shower, blankly staring at the white ceramic wall in front of you as droplets rained down. you thought about the day you and jeno were studying in the library, renting a study room within because you figured the discussion would be heated. it ended up in a feverish battle between the differences of cell adhesion and cell migration. by the end of it you were standing up, hands pulling at your roots in irritation trying to explain it to the boy sat down in front of you with a shit-eating grin adorning his face. ‘y/n, y/n, stop, stop, please, i can’t take it anymore’ he laughed, clutching his stomach, ‘i got it, while they are tightly associated, cell adhesion provides structural support and stability to tissues, while cell migration is the directed movement of cells from one location to another’
your arms dramatically dropped to your sides, ‘YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME’ pointing, you accused him.
he laughed again at your reaction, ‘i just love seeing you like that, it’s cute, you know i just love a challenge’ he exclaimed going back to his notes.
you laughed to yourself, recalling the moment of the playful banter and subtle flirting that slipped out on occasion. you giggled, howled, and snorted a little too much at the memory, which silently followed into your heart sinking to the bottom of your stomach, the shower masking the uncontrollable sobs that carried through every limb, appendage, and bone.
jaemin went on and on about some story about his roommates, you paid barely any attention, eyes glued to the door as you waited to see if he would show up. the blond boy slurred his words, leaning into you now, trying to get you to look at him. you turned your body, he was giving you a pouty face with big, shining eyes, ‘i asked you a question y/nnie. were you even listening to me?’ he tugged on the sleeve of your hoodie, his strength made you feel like a rag doll.
‘i was… and the answer is yes?’ you said, unsure about whatever he was yapping about.
he beamed and clapped playfully, ‘yippie! i knew you could use a pick-me-up, i promise it’ll be fun, the party is saturday so clear your schedule, i’ll pick you up’
your shoulder shook as you lightly laughed at his theatrics, rubbing your temple in exasperation as to what you just got yourself into, ‘sounds like fun’. you barely noticed jeno walking in out of the corner of your eye. he looked worse than you did, a hoodie with a stain, sweats that looked they were able to fall apart, mis-matched socks and unkempt hair. he kept pushing his glasses up his nose and rubbing his tired eyes. your heart skipped a beat when you noticed his dark circles that almost matched yours, his being a little worse for wear. before he could catch you staring, you quickly focused your attention to the professor starting class, going through the roaster and continuing the lecture on cells.
‘can anyone tell me the variations in cell types? jeno, got an answer?’ the professor smiled at him, everyone turned to spectate and wait for him to answer, except you.
‘um, prokaryotic and eukaryotic’ he dragged, sounding uninterested despite getting the question right.
‘yes! very good jeno’ the professor praised, moving on to the next question. you started to sweat, angry that he got it right and yet you were now holding on your high c- in literature class. how come he could now catch onto science but yet, you were still unable to grapple with the concepts of a victorian classic novel? or maybe it was the fact you had skipped every class this week, refusing to work with jeno on anything, you noticed the text and calls from him were dwindling three days after the confrontation, however everyday he sent pictures of his notes and analysis on the reading and how the project was going. as pathetic as it was, you continue to lay awake in bed nearly every night rereading his text from that night:
i know you are angry and probably hate me right now and that’s understandable, but i don’t want to give up on you, on us. do you think newton gave up on the laws of motion after he failed on the first or second try? you aren’t getting the whole picture, plz give me a chance to explain, i don’t even know if you are reading this, but if you are, plz hear me out you got it all wrong about that day in the classroom, and if it felt like i was using you, i’m sorry. that was never my intention, i just like being around you, you are always quick-witted and i was just trying to taunt you so you’d pay attention to me because i really like you, ig that backfired badly lol. anyway, i hope this will change your mind, and you’ll reach out, i’ll give you time.
followed by a very unserious message that you couldn’t help but smile at:
oh, i almost forgot, don’t worry about the project, but you could come to class, i’m starting to fear for your grade again (,,>﹏<,,) (only kidding!)
another biology class and 2 skipped lit classes pass and the weekend was finally brought upon the world. you held the pleasure of assisting jaemin to a party hosted by someone he knew from one of his health classes. it took forever for you to pick out a cute outfit, but opted for a sleeveless shirt and basic jean shorts and a pair of white sneakers you found buried in the back of your small closet. you carefully did your makeup, usually not taking it too far, but this was special, and you needed to feel like a bad bitch tonight.
jaemin showed up an hour later, deciding to walk to the house 4 blocks down, saying he wanted ‘to get turnt with you’ and that he refused to drink and drive. you agreed, walking sounded better than looking for a driver or someone having to stay sober throughout the night. you exited your building and found jaemin’s car in the lot, he climbed out to greet you and whistled, eyes eating up your form, ‘damn, you look hot’
you smiled bashfully, ‘thanks jaemin, even nerds can be hot you know?’
he turned to lock his car, ‘i mean, yes, but like, you always look cute, but this is like the freaky side of you, it’s different… it’s nice’
you cackled, ‘please never call me freaky ever again, i’m going to revoke your brain rot privileges’
he admitted defeat and dropped the conversation, you both now walked down the sidewalk in perfect silence with the sun now set, surveying the rows of houses in different stages of life in the moon glow. ‘it’s this one’ jaemin nudged you, stopping, he pointed to the house on the corner, you nodded and wrapped your arm around his, linking together so you immediately wouldn’t get lost in the sea of a potential crowd. he opened the old, green door, and you followed, as expected there was a good amount of people attending and as the night worn on you figured more would pile in.
jaemin turned to you, ‘do you wanna go find some drinks?’
‘yes, please’ you quickly nodded as he pulled you through the throng of people, trying to find the kitchen.
once you were there, the host of the party seemed to also be there, ‘jaemin! glad you could make it man’ they dabbed each other up and touched shoulders embracing in a ‘bro hug’.
‘hell yeah, no way i’d not come for the first party of the semester, i brought my friend along with me!’ he pulled you closer to him, now giving you the floor as all attention was pulled towards you, wincing as jaemin jabbed at your side, urging you to get closer to his friend.
‘hi, i’m y/n’ you said giving him a genuine smile, holding out your hand.
‘oh my, you are gorgeous, and you came with this sleaze bag’ he nodded towards jaemin who just playfully hit his friends shoulder, ‘i’m donghyuck, but everyone calls me haechan, its a pleasure to meet you’ he softly took a hold of your hand and bent down to give it a little peck, you giggled at the eccentric greeting.
jaemin tore haechan away, ‘alright, not too much now’ he joked, ‘it’s time for shots’ haechan clapped and guided you both to the kitchen island that was filled with different alcohol, he picked out a clear liquid and poured them into plastic shot cups he grabbed from a neat stack. jaemin lifted up his cup, ‘fuck pharmacology’ you snickered at his comment and raised your cup along with haechan who nodded in agreement. on cue, you threw back the cup and shuddered as the sweet nectar burned your throat. ‘hell yeah! another! at the end of the night i want to be able to forget about fucking blood urea nitrogen and blood glucose’ haechan laughed and poured another in all 3 cups. after that it was another, and then another, and after about 6 shots you tapped out and opted for a gin and coke that haechan was more than happy to make for you.
more time had passed than you thought as more people flooded the kitchen, wrecking havoc on the choices of liquor, haechan handed you your cup and jaemin motioned for you both to move to the living room. people were dancing, some were playing beer pong off in the corner, and others were chatting on various furniture. ‘want to dance a bit?’ he whispered in your ear because of the loud music that made the floor vibrate under your seat, you could feel it rattling your brain. giving him a silent nod he grabbed your hand and led you through the crowd, finding a spot and finding the rhythm of the song. you bobbed your head to the beat and moved back and forth with jaemin in front of you, you always thought he was attractive, but you saw him nothing more than a friend, you felt comfortable around him. you nursed your drink slowly, already somewhat tipsy from the shots, you didn’t want to get drunk too fast or blackout. jaemin grabbed your free hand and twirled you around, dramatically moved your joined hands with fever. you laughed along with him, indulging him in an embarrassing, yet fun dance that probably made you both look wasted to others.
his arm snaked around your waist, pulling you close much to your surprise, pleasanton’tkissmepleasedon’tkissmepleasedon’tkissme ran rampant in your mind as he leaned towards your ear ‘don’t look now, but a certain someone is staring at you from across the room, you let out a strangled breath.
‘do you know who it is?’ you whispered back.
‘jeno’ he mused and your lively spirited fell.
‘whats up? something go down with him?’ he pestered.
‘um, kinda, its a long story’ you faltered and jaemin frowned.
‘damn, that serious? his loss, he can look all he wants’ jaemin wanted to be lighthearted, make you smile again and keep jeno out of your mind. you were grateful as he pulled you into another whimsical dance, the joyful nature of his was infectious.
after a couple more songs had passed, you had downed your whole drink and let go of jaemin’s hand, ‘i’m gonna go find haechan and have him make me another drink, it was surprisingly superb’ jaemin nodded and said he would stay in the same spot for your return.
you hastily made your way to the kitchen, apologizing to others you had to push through. the small room was almost empty, haechan was nowhere in sight so you looked for a different drink. ‘having fun with jaemin?’ a voice boomed from behind you, one that you knew all too well. you slowly turned to find jeno smirking at you, leaning against the fridge adorned in a tight white shirt and ripped jeans, oh fuck this stupid earth, he just had to follow you here looking like that.
‘yes i am, actually’ you stated matter-of-factly.
his lips twitched up in amusement, ‘is that so?’ he moved in closer, eventually trapping you between him and the liquor table. jeno’s soft brown eyes met yours, searching for something inside, however, his eyes told you everything, hope, they screamed. his hand lifted towards your face, slowly brushed against the skin lighter than a feather, taking a piece of your hair and pushing it behind your ear, ‘so he wouldn’t mind this?’. his eyes fluttered closed as he bowed towards you.
before he could seal the deal, ‘jeno’ you stopped him.
he sighed, defeated, ‘just please talk to me, you said the probability was slim, but not zero, let me explain’ jeno begged, his large hands caressed your cheeks tenderly, they were soft and warm.
you could blame the alcohol as you finally let him speak his case, ‘fine, we can find somewhere private’
he smiled, eyes disappearing in relief. he grabbed your hand, leading upstairs and into an empty room, he closed the door behind him as you took a seat on the bed, ‘alright, grovel and explain’ you lifted your phone up to check the time ‘you have 10 minutes’
he gave you a smug smile, ‘that’s all i need baby, you know i love a challenge’ you rolled your eyes at his attempt to uplift the tension fogging the air. ‘that day in the classroom, you obviously didn’t stay long enough to hear what i had to say about you, at first i didn’t know how to respond being put into that position was hard, you didn’t ‘put me through anything’ though, i had nothing but fun with you, even if it was frustrating at times. we always figured it out. but when i heard what she said after i wasn’t just going to allow it, i said ‘yeah i guess one could say that’ because these people literally do not know you like i do, i finished with ‘but everything about that is completely untrue, they are willing to learn, but it's just taking longer than some of us who take a bunch of english and literature classes. if you got to actually know her you’d see how bright they actually are. a literal math genius and a real mastermind of science, could answer any question from the top of their head, it’s insane. so while we are strong in this subject, they are just stronger in other fields’ he explained, watching you intently. you wiggled under his gaze, making you feel same, but itched for him to go on, ‘i then told her that she should not speak on things she knows nothing about and left because i will not associate myself with someone who talks like that about people i care about’ he emphasized the last words carefully, grabbing hold of your hand and lifting you from the bed, ‘y/n, i’m so sorry, it was never my intention to hurt you, ever. i care about you so deeply, you show up in every romance novel i read, every poem i skim, the stories i write… it’s all you’ jeno gazed down at you, his eyes now searching for an answer, hope, and panic could only be found in his as you studied his features in the warm glow of the moon peaking through the window.
‘you really said that? you defended me?’ you questioned him quietly.
‘yes y/n, i would never let anyone hurt you, even if you aren’t in the room, because in that case, they hurt me too’
you hummed, the haze of your brain clouded any judgment you held, he was something different, the greatest math problem that needed to be solved. ‘thank you jeno, i guess it’s now my turn to apologize’
he chuckled at you, ‘no need baby’ you laughed softly, ‘now, can we pick up where we left off? you know, someone once told me that pride and prejudice wasn’t written in a day’ he wagged his eyebrows at you, moving you into an embrace as he kissed the top of your head. you held on tightly, holding him as you buried your face into his chest swallowing his scent so you could save it for later.
the hug ended, but he still held you close in his arms, ‘i guess i could pick up another chapter or two’ he laughed at your poor pun and drooped down, so his lips could meet yours. it was messier than the first kissed you shared with him, wet and heated as you could taste the soju on his tongue. he moved at a faster pace, devouring you like an animal, jeno walked you towards the bed, you gave in falling down with him, with him climbing on top of you, never breaking away. teeth on teeth echoed throughout the room as you moaned, his hands exploring every part of your body, making your core burn more and more.
jeno dipped down to attack your neck in kisses and sucking at the exposed skin, hands finding a way to his hair and tugging slightly at the intimate feeling of him being closer than ever. ‘please, tell me you’re mine, please want me’ he breathed out, the air softly hitting your ear, making the hair on the back of your neck stand up. he was desperate, kissing you anywhere he could and waited for you to answer.
‘y-yes jeno, i’m yours’ you choked out, ‘i want you in every way’ satisfied with your response he growled and his mouth met yours once more, ‘p-please touch me’ you begged frantically, needing anything to ease the sensation that pooled in the pits of your stomach.
jeno hummed, fingers brushing up and down your exposed stomach, ‘where baby? use your words, remember what i taught you?’ it was your turn to make demands now, wasting no time you grabbed his hand and brought it down between your legs, he cupped your vagina. you groaned, you needed more. jeno grabbed the waistband of your shorts and pulled them down and threw them behind him, the cool air hit your core making you rub your thighs together in order to find little warmth.
he carefully pulled your underwear down, wanting to savor the moment of finally seeing you bare, he gulped, ‘god, you have such a pretty pussy’ he took his hand and rubbed the sensitive skin, ‘so wet. just for me, right? all for me baby’ you cried out at his words. he inserted a finger into your weeping hole, making you gasp out in surprise at the feeling of just one finger filling you up dangerously. as he pushed back and forth your legs trembled, he added another finger and brought his head down to your core, ‘i bet you taste amazing’ was all he said before he dove in deep, his tongue against your clit as he drank up your juices and sucked on the flesh.
‘f-fuck’ you mewled, grabbed a hold of his soft, black hair in order to keep you grounded, with every thrust he made as he fucked with his mouth you tugged on his hair, pulling when you would feel the band about to snap, jeno groaned, loving the way you’d use him for stability.
he stopped and removed his face, you whined from the loss of contact as his fingers also found their way outside of you, he smiled ‘don’t worry, my pretty baby, i’ll take care of you’. he threw off his shirt nearly getting drunker with the way you were taking him in, he loved being adored by you, in such a calculated way that made sense in every story. you followed suit and removed your top and bra, baring naked in front of him and laid back on the bed as he admired you from afar, ‘you’re so beautiful’ he breathed, discarding his pants and underwear he crawled back on top of you, whispering sweet nothing's as he peppered your collarbone and breasts with kisses.
‘are you sure you want this? it might hurt a little at first, but i promise i’ll go slow until you tell me otherwise’ he towered over you.
your glassy eyes met his in reassurance, ‘yes, jeno i want this’ you confirmed everything for him. he quickly lined up his cock with your cunt and gently pushed inside, his eyes never leaving yours. your hands grasped around his muscled biceps, digging your nails into them when the pain was strong. once he bottomed out he stopped to let you get used to his size, you shared sensual kisses and sweet touches, jeno doing everything in his power to make you feel loved and safe at that moment going forward, that’s all he ever wanted to do. for weeks, he had been beating himself up for taking the teasing comments way too far at times, poking fun at something you were obviously insecure about, but you did the same, he figured it was kind of the thing you two had. in reality, he wanted to push you to do better, making comments like that so you’d work harder and prove everyone wrong. no one could work with you better than him, so he had gone out of his way to ask the pressor to pair you up on the project, also making the forced proximity making you talk to him after you stopped answering his calls and messages. he should have gone a better way about motivating you, but now that he had your forgiveness, he could work on better strategies.
‘jeno, you can move now’ you rasped out, still holding on his arms like an anchor with a boat. he pulled out and pushed back in, taking it slow as you moaned at the feeling of him filling you up to the brim, jeno picked up the pace, setting a steady rhythm as skin clapping together filled the room, ‘oh fuck, just like that’ your chest heaving up and down.
he slammed into with vigor, bitting your bottom lip as you opened your mouth to let out a breathless moan, ‘yeah? you like that? fuck, you’re so tight, literally sucking me in, i never want to leave this pretty fucking pussy’ he husked, he licked your lips and kissed your jaw as he grunted, setting a faster pace, making you cry out in pleasure. he grabbed your legs and opened them wider, giving him better access to go deeper into your abused cunt. you cried as the flame in your belly raged with a thousand fires, ‘keep your eyes on me baby’ jeno demanded, automatically making you swallow as you moved your eyes to meet his, blown out pupils filled with lust as your vision of him became blurry as blissful tears threaten to fall with every snap on his hips digging into you. you’ve had flings and hook-ups before, but nothing as profound as this, the eye contact, togetherness of him never backing too far away from your hold, you were being wholly consumed by jeno. everything right down to your core, he was all you could feel, taste, see, and think about.
‘o-oh my god’ you sobbed, hips jerking up at the feeling of the ripples burning through you, the coil in your stomach tightening, craving to break open, ‘m gonna cum’ you clenched around him, making jeno hiss above you at the feeling of tightness around his throbbing dick.
‘go on baby, cum for me,’ he whimpered as the feeling for him also grew intense, the way your cunt hugged his dick was making his mind spin. jeno mumbled incoherently ‘i’m so close baby, let go, you can let go, i got you’ from his words and the way he pounded into you made you snap, legs trembling as liquid gushed from your core and past his cock and dripped onto the sheets. light-headed and dizzy you cried out for jeno as your orgasm burst over you.
you clenched again, feeling overwhelmed by the euphoric feeling, ‘oh, fuck’ jeno cursed as he stilled inside of you, painting your insides with his seed, he groaned at the sensation of finally filling you up and properly claiming you as his and his alone. he stayed there for a couple of minutes inside of you. savoring the static of the overstimulation and pleasure of release. you winced as the hot liquid poured out of you when he pulled out, the emptiness of it all. jeno watched as his cum slide down your hole and onto the sheet, he scooped up the remaining liquid that rushed out of you and shoved it back into your clit with two fingers, making you cry at the sensitivity. ‘fuck that was… one of the best experiences of my life’ he caught his breath and plopped down facing you, he gently caressed your chin, bringing your head to his as he softly left kisses on your lips, ‘let me get you cleaned up baby’
‘m tired’ you whispered, barely able to keep your eyes open.
‘i know, but let me take care of you and get you dressed, i know theres extra clothes somewhere around here’ he started rummaging around the wardrobes, digging into them in order to find anything adequate. ‘aha!’ he put on a clean pair of underwear and sweats, ‘i’ll be right back baby’ he left the room and came back after for what felt like an eternity with a warm wash cloth and clean clothes, ‘these are mark’s girlfriends pj’s i’m sure she won’t mind,’ he hummed, wiping you clean, and dressing you in the soft, clean clothes. he picked you up so he could throw the covers back, tucking you in with a kiss on the nose, ‘you’re so cute’
you lazily smiled at him, settling into the sheets as you clung onto his warm frame, ‘who’s room is this by the way?’ you whispered as jeno shut his eyes.
‘mark’s. doesn’t matter. you’re my girlfriend now right?’ he leaned his head on yours.
‘mmm girlfriend yes. mark who?’ words fell from your mouth as you yawned, sleeping coming to find you soon.
‘mark, shark.’ he dismissed you, ‘just be ready for a stern talk when we wake up from the man himself.’ he kissed your head as you drifted off to sleep, the morning was the least of your worries now, you finally figured out the solution, the obvious answer being: jeno.
you don't have to lie to girls. if they like you, they'll just lie to themselves.
MDNI, 18+
SUMMARY | it was hard watching jeno struggle with his relationship, but it was even harder when he ran to you for comfort every time. especially when you, his long-time best friend, have been in love with him for the longest time. but when jeno starts lying about where he’s going and who he’s with, you realize the biggest lie might be the one you’re telling yourself—that he’ll ever choose you. or girls will cry, and girls will lie, and girls will lose their goddamn minds for you.
PAIRING | bff!jeno x afab!reader (x univ student!jaemin)
CONTENT | university!au, best friends to ?, angst, infidelity (no i do not condone this), swearing, miscommunication, drinking, smut (fingering, oral [f receiving], nipple play, unprotected sex [dont do this], dirty talk, few degrading names, perv!jeno, voyeurism? [listening in], masturbation, cream pie), lowercase intended, doesn’t end in angst
FEATURING | nct dream, nct 127’s jaehyun, aespa’s karina & winter, le sserafim’s chaewon & yunjin, txt’s soobin, the boyz’s eric
WORDS | 25.9k
PLAYLIST | lie to girls – sabrina carpenter, everytime – ariana grande, focus – niki, wildflower – billie eilish, cry – cigarettes after sex
A/N | quick disclaimer that this is all fiction, and my depiction of the characters i used is far from reality. i wanted to make the characters (mostly y/n and jeno) a bit flawed but idk dont think too heavily and please read with an open heart and mind. enjoy! likes and reblogs are greatly appreciated (leaving feedback would be great!) <3
“hey.” jeno greeted you, standing at your front door, which only meant one thing. they fought again.
you pushed the door wider, letting him inside. he looked like a mess, his shoulders slumped, dark bags around his eyes, hair disheveled. even from afar, you could tell he was going through something. his phone was in his hand, checking for notifications, but he let out a huge sigh when the home screen was empty.
“do i even want to know?” you prodded, eyes watching him as he plopped down on the couch. his head tilted back on the headrest, mind filled with thoughts.
“you know how she is.” jeno mumbled, rubbing his face with his hands. “said she needed some space.”
unfortunately, i do know how she is. jeno’s girlfriend, karina. they’ve been together since first year of college when jeno met her at some random party. they were the kind of couple on campus that, at first glance, seemed perfect, but you knew all too well what kind of chaos haunted them in private. you were too familiar with how she behaved with jeno; most of the time, you couldn’t help but feel sorry for him.
jeno didn’t even have to say anything when you saw him at your front door. you have grown accustomed to this pattern: the same heartache, apologies, and cycle of hope and disappointment. and every time it occurred, jeno ended up here—at your door, at your couch, sulking.
you wanted nothing more than to scold jeno for letting himself get run over by her, but you kept your lips sealed. deciding that giving him comfort and support was what he needed right now.
“again, huh?” you sat down on the opposite side of him, tucking your legs beneath you.
“i don’t even know what that means, y/n.” jeno sighed, running his hand through his hair. he lifted his head to face you, gaze soft as he held eye contact with you. “one minute, everything’s perfect, and we’re fine, but suddenly, i’ve apparently done something wrong, and she won't even tell me.” his voice cracked, hopelessness evident in his tone. it pained you to see him like this. how many times is he going to let her do this to him?
“well, did you do something wrong?” you asked, but you knew jeno too well, he wouldn’t do anything to sabotage his relationship. sure, he has made mistakes in the past, but he was a good person, a good friend, and a good lover, you suppose.
jeno stayed silent for a moment, recalling if he had done something to make his girlfriend upset. “i–no, at least i don’t think so.” he shook his head, “i’ve just been busy with classes, but i always make time for her. and everything we’re together, i always try to make it special. you know?”
you nodded along to his words, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. you have heard this story countless times, you could probably recite it to him. it wasn’t unusual for karina to act like this; she’d get upset over something vague, and then jeno would beat himself up for it, but he’d still bend over backward to get her back.
“maybe she’s just going through something?” you said, trying to think of what to say to ease his mind.
you and karina were acquaintances at best. it’s not like you didn’t try to be her friend, but something about her attitude seems so off-putting. you weren’t entirely sure if karina was fond of you either. of course, you never told jeno any of these. you knew he wouldn’t listen, not when it comes to her. he loves her. he’d return to her every time, like a moth to a flame. and you’d be there, picking up the pieces when he got burned.
“i wish she’d just tell me what’s on her mind instead of leaving me wondering what i did wrong.” his face twisted into frustration with a mix of confusion.
“jen, you know i can’t help you if you don’t tell her what you’re feeling.” this time, you couldn’t hold back. “you’re supposed to tell her these, not me.”
jeno flinched at your words, somehow unsatisfied with your advice. “yeah… you’re right.”
you watched his expression, his eyebrows furrowed while he was deep in thought. “i’m sorry if it’s not what you wanted to hear.” you hesitated, knowing you were treading dangerous waters. “i just think… you deserve someone who actually appreciates you.”
jeno stayed silent, processing your words as if he hadn’t told himself that a million times. but for some stupid reason, he couldn’t keep it in his head. he looked down at his phone, tapping the screen once more, but to his disappointment, there was still nothing. “i know you’re just looking out for me, y/n. but… i just can’t give up on her. not yet.”
and just like that, you could feel him slipping away, back into her orbit, leaving you alone with all the things you couldn’t say, wondering when he would run back to you again.
“class dismissed.” the professor announced loudly, making you snap out of your dozy state. you weren't even sure if you paid attention to class today.
you quickly gathered your stuff, students leaving the lecture hall one by one. your phone buzzed in your pocket, fishing for it, you read the message from mark.
mark: yo dude heard jaehyun’s throwing a party tomorrow, wanna come?
mark: also i think i saw jeno and she-who-must-not-be-named together
struggling to balance your laptop in one hand and type on your phone with the other; you barely noticed a figure stepping in front of you—until they bumped into you, sending you off balance.
“oh my god!” a familiar voice shrieked, karina. you lifted your head to see her arms linked with jeno. her faced mixed with shock and annoyance.
“sorry!” you mumbled, quickly gathering your belongings to be more composed.
“hey, y/n.” jeno smiled at you, your chest tightened at his bright face. after he visited you a week ago, you haven’t heard much from him, aside from his occasional responses in the group chat you share with mark and haechan. all you knew was he was busy trying to get his girlfriend back. you weren’t sure if they made up, given that he hadn’t contacted you at all, but seeing as they were currently inseparable, you could probably guess their relationship right now.
karina patted down her skirt and top as if she were the one who practically fell. “y/n!” as if it was on cue, she flashed you a smile. “haven’t seen you in a hot minute. you going to jaehyun’s tomorrow?” you felt sick to your stomach. something was unsettling about how karina spoke to you, or maybe it was all in your head, and you were thinking too deeply about it.
you hesitated, glancing down at your phone, rereading mark’s message. did you really want to spend an entire night seeing jeno and karina pressed up against each other now that they were back together?
“i might.” you sent her a small smile, “mark and haechan are going, i think i’ll tag along.” glancing at jeno for a second, who was intently staring at you. a pit formed in your stomach at the sight of him, he looked better compared to last week—more relaxed, at ease.
“great!” karina clapped her hands together, “we’ll see you there.” she took Jeno’s hand, pulling him away with a little more force than necessary. he stumbled slightly, laughing as they disappeared down the hall, his voice echoing through the space and leaving a familiar ache in your chest.
you took a deep breath, trying to shake off the interaction, and texted mark back.
you: where are u? need someone to talk to
“are you even surprised at this point?” mark let out, mouth filled with the sandwich he was munching on. you were both seated in the field of the campus, deciding to reconnect with mother nature after the encounter you just had. you told mark about how you saw them together and how jeno looked happy again. you stayed silent at his comment, closing your eyes as you basked in the sunlight. “how’d you feel seeing them together?”
mark knew you too well. he was one of the people you confided in about your feelings for jeno. him and chaewon, your roommate. in the same way, jeno kept running to you when he was heartbroken, you ran to mark and chaewon whenever you were in the same cycle.
just as jeno used you as his safe place, you had mark and chaewon. they were the ones who listened when you cried, over and over, thinking that maybe this time he’d see you differently. and every time, they were the ones who held you every time you fell down.
you were in love with jeno. how could you not be? you grew up together, spending your childhood years nearly every second of the day. you were there to witness every version of him—his awkward phase in middle school with braces and bowl haircut, the high school years when he was navigating through puberty, and now, the college student jeno admired by everyone.
you were there for it all.
you were six when you witnessed jeno’s first tooth falling out. you couldn’t forget the way the blood dripped from his mouth, making you bawl, yet he couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the tooth on his hand.
you were ten when jeno first learned how to ride a bike. he came knocking on your door to show off his skills, but he fell and scraped his knees within five seconds of riding it.
you were thirteen when jeno came to you when he had his heart was broken. he wrote a letter to his crush admitting his feelings for her, but he came crying to you when he got rejected for the first time in his life.
you were eighteen when you and jeno sat in front of your laptops, awaiting the email of the university you had both applied to. you couldn’t help but wrap your arms around each other and squeal when you found out you both had been accepted.
however, you were sixteen when you first well in love with jeno. it was during prom when you got stood up by your date. jeno saw you sulking in the corner of the room, and without hesitation, he ditched his prom date to be with you for the rest of the night. he brought you to the dance floor and danced with you through every song.
every adult in your life was convinced you two would end up getting married due to your closeness, which he would always deny. each phase, each moment with jeno, made you realize how hard you were falling for him. he was your best friend, the only constant in your life. somewhere along the lines, you realized that friendship wasn’t enough for you.
but for jeno, it was the complete opposite. sure, he loved you, loved having you around, but there was this line between the two of you—one he never dared to cross. he was focused on finding love elsewhere, and it never occurred to him to look for it in the person who was always in front of him. you would be lying to yourself if you said it didn’t pain you that he has never once looked for love in you.
“does it even matter?” you sighed, feeling the sun dance across your skin. “you know he’ll always run back to her.”
“yeah, because you never told him how you felt.” mark scoffed, setting his half-eaten sandwich down while wiping his lips with the back of his hand. “who knows? maybe he feels the same.”
“don’t.” you warned him, sending him a glare while he just sheepishly shrugged his shoulders. it was too painful to entertain the idea, too exhausting to keep hoping. you were just his best friend, the person he ran to when he needed comfort, but never the person he’d choose. you hated it. you hated waiting around like a lost puppy for him. “can we just talk about something else, please.”
mark hummed, his eyes roaming around the campus. “why don’t you let loose at jaehyun’s party tomorrow? maybe even look for someone to distract you from him.”
you chuckled, hugging your knees to your chest. “if only it were that easy.”
it’s not like you didn’t try to suppress your feelings for jeno. in fact, you did everything you could think of, even going to great lengths such as downloading a dating app—due to haechan’s insistence to attempt casual flings, kissing random strangers at parties, and even having one-night stands with people from campus. yet no matter how hard you tried, your feelings for jeno still crept up like a shadow you couldn’t escape.
there were moments where you thought you were okay and accepted that you don’t always get what you want in life—until a memory of him would hit you out of nowhere, and you’re back to square one. you get reminded of his laughter, the soft eye-smile he would give you whenever he spotted you in a crowd, and his goofy side, which only came out when he was around you. the memories haunted you whenever you least expected it, and no dating app or reckless decision could erase them.
chaewon stood in front of your closet; arms crossed against her chest as she inspected your wardrobe. you were not afraid to dress slutty, in fact, you had a fair share of provocative clothes stashed somewhere in your closet. but the way chaewon was staring at your wardrobe made you rethink all your fashion choices.
“i should really take you out shopping more often.” she mumbled, more to herself than to you. she began rummaging through the hung clothes, trying to find the perfect outfit for tonight. “you’re wasting so much potential.”
you raised an eyebrow, “i think i look fine.” watching as she pulled out different articles of clothing.
“fine isn’t going to get you laid.” chaewon turned to face you, a bunch of different colored tops in her arms. “we need something that screams, ‘fuck you, lee jeno, look what you’re missing out on.’”
you’ve mentioned to her that jeno and karina would be there as a couple again. and she—as the most supportive best friend—made it her personal mission to make you look like the hottest bitch in the party, just to flaunt what jeno had been too blind to see. she wasn’t about to let you shrink in the shadows of jeno and karina’s perfect little bubble. she wanted to make sure that all eyes would be on you.
you sat on the bed, watching her make a mess out of your closet. “i’m not even sure if i’m ready to put myself out there.” you sighed.
chaewon shot you a pointed look, the kind you’d see on your disappointed friend's face. “please. this is why we need to get you into the sluttiest clothes ever. you need to stop thinking of him and start thinking of yourself, y/n.”
chaewon’s words hung heavy in the air. she was right. you needed to stop playing the part of a background character in jeno’s life. it was getting exhausting, and you weren’t sure how long you could keep pretending like it didn’t bother you at all.
“you’re right.” you murmured, fingers playing with another.
her face lit up as she pulled out a black leather mini skirt, paired with a tight red crop top that accentuates your curves perfectly. you forgot you even owned these. “found it!” she squealed, showing you her discovery. “perfect. you look hot in red.” shaking your head at her enthusiasm, you let out a laugh. she chucked you the clothes, taking the sign to go change into them. “babe, if jeno’s dick doesn’t stand up the second he sees you in this, then maybe he is blind!” sending you a wink as you walked into the bathroom.
as you changed into your new outfit, your stomach couldn’t help but flip as you stared into your reflection. chaewon was right, you did look hot in these clothes. you felt silly for putting this much effort into jeno, who would most likely give you a half-assed hug in return.
you shook your head as you tried to push him out of your thoughts. deciding to adjust your top just enough to show off the perfect amount of cleavage. you had to focus on yourself. whether or not jeno would notice you didn’t matter anymore. you were going to have fun.
“dang! look at you.” mark whistled as you walked into the kitchen where he and haechan were situated, with drinks in their hands.
you felt your cheeks heat up under mark’s approving gaze. haechan, on the other hand, was shamelessly checking you out. “was this chaewon’s doing? because, wow, you look amazing.”
their flirting wasn’t something out of the ordinary; you were close friends who knew when to boost each other’s confidence. you couldn’t help but laugh at their comments, eyes wandering around the place. jaehyun’s place was filled with students dancing, chatting, and drinking. lights flashing from the makeshift led lights he probably put up, the crowd bathing in neon lights. the air was thick with sweat, perfume, and cheap alcohol. the music was being managed by johnny, who was the designated dj for tonight.
“looking for someone?” mark teased as he watched you scan the environment, nudging heachan with his elbow, who was smirking.
“no,” you lied, but you knew they could see right through you. “just looking around.” haechan nodded, but his expression showed that you were being dishonest. he handed you a red plastic cup filled with something that smelled fruity but strong. you silently thanked him before drowning the alcohol down your throat. you couldn’t help but wince at the intense flavor.
“you sure? not looking for someone in particular?” mark chuckled, taking a sip from his cup.
before you could come up with a response, you felt a hand on your shoulder. your body froze before turning around to see who it was. of course, it was who you expected—jeno, with his usual eye smile—enough to brighten up the room. karina, who looked as beautiful as ever, was attached to his side with a smile on her face.
your heart sank, but you kept your expression light, flashing the couple a smile while locking eyes with jeno. you nearly missed the way his eyes traveled down your frame, but you weren’t sure if it was because you were intoxicated or you just wanted him to check you out. you swore his eyes lightly widened, but his gaze returned to karina as if nothing happened.
“hey guys.” jeno greeted, eyes wandering between the three of you but landing on you. you shifted beneath his gaze but shook it off; he was your best friend, of course. you gave him and karina a polite nod, although your stomach was churning at the sight of them.
“jeno!” haechan exclaimed, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, making karina lightly lose her balance. her expression grew sour at haechan’s actions. “we missed you, man.” he jokingly puckered his lips to plant a kiss on his cheek, but jeno just laughed and tried to dodge his lips.
“here you go, dude.” mark handed jeno and karina a drink which they accepted and drank. the air suddenly felt tight, your chest pounding, so you looked at mark for help. he sensed your uneasiness, placing his cup down on the counter. “alright! time to dance, y/n, come with me.” mark grabbed your hand, guiding you towards the dance floor, feeling a gaze on you as you left the kitchen.
the music was deafeningly loud, bodies bumping into each other as you navigated the living room. you mumbled an apology to every person you hit, nearly stumbling, but mark’s grip on you saved you. once you finally found a spot, you let loose, moving to the rhythm as the lights flashed overhead. haechan and chaewon shortly found you, forming a crowd as you danced.
from across the room, jeno sat on a couch with karina perched on his side, her legs on top of his lap as her fingers ran across the back of his head.
“this party’s boring.” karina complained, letting out a sigh while taking another sip from her cup.
jeno didn’t respond. he wanted nothing more than to join his friends on the dance floor, but he knew it wasn’t karina’s crowd, so he decided to stay with her to avoid getting her upset. “you’ve been awfully quiet. did i do something?”
jeno shook his head, eyes landing on hers. “no,” he grasped her hand in his. “don’t you want to dance?”
“you know i’m not into this kind of scene, jeno. why’d we even come here?” karina scoffed, pulling her legs off his lap and crossing her arms. jeno pursed his lips, the tension between them rising.
“you said you wanted to see what the fuss was about, babe.” jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. “i thought we could have fun together with my friends for once.”
“what’s that supposed to mean!” karina snapped, but jeno was listening to someone else in particular; a burst of laughter from the dance floor caught his attention. his eyes instinctively found you, spinning with mark and chaewon, a carefree smile on your face. he nearly sulked as he watched his friends have fun while he was sitting in a corner.
karina’s eyes followed to where jeno was staring at, her expressions souring even more once he realized jeno wasn’t even listening to her. “of course,” her voice cut through his trance. “you’re not even paying attention to me.”
chaewon caught what was stirring from the corner of her eyes, nudging you. “uh oh, trouble in paradise again.”
you sneaked a glance at where they were sitting; it was easy to spot jeno in a crowd. his back was hunched, karina’s eyebrows furrowed while speaking to him. you almost felt sorry for him.
jeno’s gaze met yours, you quickly looked away to pretend you were not snooping on them, but you knew he saw you staring anyway. you shook off your thoughts, trying to focus on having fun with your friends. you hated the effect he had on you. you hated how easily he got under your skin, how his presence could unravel the fragile composure you worked so hard to maintain.
meanwhile, karina had grown tired of jeno’s distracted demeanor. she stood up abruptly, clutching her purse in her hands. “i’m leaving.” she told jeno, annoyance evident in her tone.
“babe, wait—” jeno stood up, catching her arm, but she shrugged him off.
“stay if you want. don’t bother following me. i’ll text you whenever.” she snapped before storming out of the room.
jeno stood there, watching her back, slowly immersing herself in the crowd. for some reason, he couldn’t move; he didn’t want to move. the guilt of letting her storm off alone clashed with the relief of not encountering a full-on argument. he knows his actions will probably lead to a massive fight with her again, but he was just too tired to deal with it tonight. his eyes trailed back to where you were dancing, but you were no longer there; only mark and haechan remained.
you couldn’t handle another second of witnessing jeno and karina together. you decided to escape the crowd and find an empty room to gather your thoughts. thankful that jaehyun’s house was large enough to have an unoccupied room. the noise from the party was muffled the second you shut the door behind you.
you sat on the edge of the bed, sighing as you ran your hand through your hair. get it together. you scolded yourself before plopping back on the soft mattress. tonight was supposed to be about letting loose, but the sight of jeno with her was too unbearable. the room became unbreathable as thoughts clouded your mind. you often wondered why jeno couldn’t just look at what was in front of him. the way he made you feel like a teenager pining over her crush made you laugh.
soft knocks on the door snapped you back to life. curious, you stood up and hovered over the doorknob.
“y/n?” the voice from the other side of the door called out, making your breath hitch. “are you in there?”
jeno. why was he here? how did you know you were here? you hesitated before grabbing the doorknob and turning it to open the door. there he was—clad in a black shirt with some jeans, yet he still looked like he was crafted by the gods.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you resisted the urge to ask him why he wasn’t with his girlfriend, but from the looks of the events earlier, they probably quarreled again.
jeno didn’t respond, instead, he moved past you and into the room you were occupying. you shut the door behind you, not bothering to lock it because you saw no need to. he sat on the edge of the bed, where you had previously sat.
you were lost. you don’t know how you should act right now, and jeno seemed so defeated.
“you’ve been avoiding me all night.” jeno spoke, his eyes trained on you. you were leaning against the door, a wide distance between the two of you.
you nearly laughed at the absurdity of his statement. “i wasn’t avoiding you, jen. you were just busy with karina the entire night.” it was true, you had no intentions of ignoring him. in fact, a part of you wanted to see him, to see you. even though you convinced yourself that tonight was about you, it wouldn’t hurt if he saw the effort you put on today.
he took a second to scan your frame, his lips tugging into a small smile when he reached your face. “you look nice.” your heart leaped at his compliment. throat going dry as you thought of words to say to him.
“you’re not so bad yourself.” you chuckled. the air felt thick, you weren’t sure if it was only on your end. you couldn’t help but let your eyes roam his body as well. you knew jeno was fit—he was always diligent about his attendance at the gym—and it surely didn’t help your thoughts that you had a massive crush on him. he looked great, so hot. it made it hard to think straight.
jeno’s eyes didn’t leave yours, his gaze was so intense that it made you want to cower and run away. you cleared your throat. “why are you here, jeno?” you asked, breaking the silence. even though you already anticipated the answer.
“we fought.” you knew it. “i just… i needed to get away for a bit.” of course, why else would he seek for you?
your heart banged against your chest. you wanted to comfort him, to be his solace as you had always been, playing the part of his best friend. but at the same time, you hated being his safe space, you hated how he ran to you only when things got messy with her. it was not fair.
“does she know you’re here?” you asked cautiously, watching as his face twisted into worry.
“she left.” jeno shook his head, leaning back against the mattress with his hands bracing him. you hated how casual he was being. “said i could stay here if i wanted.” his voice laced with frustration, eyes falling to the floor.
you nodded slowly, biting the inside of your cheek to prevent yourself from uttering words that you’d soon regret. as a best friend, you were supposed to tell him to go after her, to patch things up with her like he always does. but tonight, you wanted to be selfish. you wanted him to stay.
“and you came here?” the words left your mouth, and you regretted it immediately.
jeno lifted his head, eyes meeting yours once again. “yeah.” he said, standing up from his spot, taking careful strides towards you. your eyes widened when he approached you. “i came here.” he stopped in front of you, making you take a step backward, but your back just hit the wall, preventing you from moving any further. his frame towering over yours.
there were warning bells ringing in your ears as jeno’s eyes flicked down to your lips. it was subtle, but it was enough to send your thoughts spiraling. your mind was screaming at you to move, to say something, to do anything—but all your heart could focus on was him.
what was he doing?
he was getting dangerously close to you. his perfume hitting your nose, the familiar scent taking over you. the silence in the room was loud, his hand landing on the space next to your head, resting on the wooden door.
“jeno…” your voice came out soft, almost whisper-like, pleading him. although you weren’t entirely sure if you were pleading for him to stop or continue. your pulse racing as he leaned even closer, the gap between you shrinking. the invisible barrier you’d tried so hard to build came crashing down as his intoxicating scent painted the room with tension that grew impossibly thick.
jeno paused to stare into your eyes, looking for signs of doubt in them. his movements were cautious, as though he was giving you time to stop him—but your body betrayed you as you stood frozen in place.
this wasn’t—shouldn’t— supposed to happen. this wasn’t you. you weren’t supposed to have him this close to you—not when he wasn’t yours to begin him.
but the way he looked at you now, like you were his favorite dessert that his mother told him he couldn’t have at a grocery store, made it so hard to pull away.
“i—we can’t.” you croaked out, your voice betraying you.
“tell me to stop.” jeno mumbled, his lips barely grazing yours.
stop.
stop!
you couldn’t stop.
jeno crashed his lips to yours. his taste greeting your tongue, the flavor of alcohol mixed with something uniquely him. you gasped into the kiss, eyes shutting as your hands instinctively flew to his chest while his mouth moved against yours. he didn’t miss the opportunity to slide his tongue between your parted lips, roaming it around. you felt your knees weaken.
jeno was kissing you. and you were kissing him back. the moment you had dreamed of and longed for was becoming a reality. it was real—vivid, and more overwhelming than anything you could imagine.
his hands fell to your waist, pulling your body flush against his. your hands gripped his shirt, tugging him close to you. the heat of his body pressed against yours, sending shivers down your spine. the feeling of him getting hard against your thigh snapped you back to your senses. your eyes fluttered open with a surge of panic before pushing his body away. what have you done?
“what the fuck.” you whispered, hand reaching up to touch your lips that were on his mere seconds ago as if you couldn’t believe the affair that just occurred.
“y/n—“ jeno started, arms reaching out for you. but you pulled away from him. “hey, it’s okay.” he assured you. his expression turning soft as he watched your panicked state. “i’m sorry, i shouldn’t have—”
the kiss was replaying in your head, the vivid moment playing repeatedly to remind you it was immoral. but deep inside, you were floating on the clouds. jeno kissed you. you weren’t sure if you were sorry to begin with.
“i-i need to go.” you mumbled, turning around and grabbing the doorknob. jeno took a step back to give you some space.
“let me explain.” jeno called out, but you were already scrambling towards the door, needing to create distance between the two of you, leaving him and your chaos of emotions behind.
“i’m so excited!” chaewon squealed as she held onto your hand, practically dragging you towards the bus.
it was the annual retreat the student council had organized to help students destress and bond outside of academic pressure. this year, the arts and business departments were grouped to blend creativity and strategy. since you and chaewon were both visual design students, you agreed to be seatmates on the bus. mark and haechan were also coming along because they were music and dance majors, respectively. while it sounded like an excellent opportunity to unwind, you knew it also meant that jeno and karina would be there since they were a part of the department as business and fashion majors.
you haven’t spoken to jeno since your last encounter. you weren’t sure you had the right words to say to him. no one knew of what happened that night, and the guilt was clawing you alive. you contemplated whether to tell chaewon about it. you knew she was going to be by your side, but admitting that you kissed jeno while he was in a relationship with karina was something you didn’t want to say out loud. admitting it would make it real. and making it real meant facing the truth: you kissed someone else’s boyfriend. even if he started it.
the mere thought made you shiver. although jeno was equally responsible for the kiss that he initiated, you wondered if he told anyone about it, if he regretted it, or if he thinks about it as often as you did.
you would be lying to yourself if you said that you had already forgotten about the kiss. the memory of kissing someone you were in love with was not easy to bury. the feeling of his lips on yours haunted you on nights you couldn’t sleep, your heart racing at the faint thought of it.
you found yourself seated in the middle section of the bus. chaewon begged for the window seat, striking a deal to share her stash of snacks in exchange. students gradually filled the bus, mark and haechan seated on the aisle across from you, their banter already filling the air. it wasn’t long before jeno and karina boarded the bus, karina leading jeno with her hand in his. for a brief second, you locked eyes with jeno, whose face was filled with sorrow when he looked at you. you loathed it.
you quickly broke eye contact, but you swore his gaze lingered on you a bit longer. you faced chaewon, who was telling you about her latest boy drama. she noticed that your expression had shifted; she turned her head to see where you were just looking, and her suspicions were confirmed when she saw the couple.
“are you and jeno alright?” chaewon whispered, leaning towards you. “don’t think i saw you guys together since the party.” you stiffened. she was right.
chaewon was observant. she knew you too well. she noticed the small things, like how you look for jeno in crowds or how your mood shifts downward when you spot him with karina. it had been two torturous weeks since the party, since you had a secret you couldn’t muster up the courage to tell anyone. two weeks of trying to convince yourself that it didn’t mean anything—when deep down, you knew it meant everything.
and two weeks' worth of unread messages from jeno.
you thought back to the notifications you had stared at countless times, your heart clenching every time his name lit up your screen.
jeno: hey
jeno: how are u?
jeno: we should really talk
jeno: let me know when ure free
jeno: i miss u y/n
jeno: pls dont ignore me
you had read them all. your fingers hovered over the keyboard countless times, thinking about what to say to him. what were you supposed to say? that you were in love with him? that the kiss meant everything to you while it was probably a drunken mistake for him? that you were drowning in guilt but couldn't help but think about the kiss? you decided that saying nothing would be better, giving you time to gather your thoughts.
but no matter how you tried, jeno was everywhere. in the halls, in your dreams, and now, on this godforsaken bus.
“yeah.” you smiled at chaewon, pulling on her arm so you could nest your head against her shoulder. “i’m just sleepy.”
“my ass hurts.” haechan whined dramatically as you got off the bus. mark chuckled at him while he extended his arms. the ride took three hours and you were all sore from sitting down, eager to stretch your legs. but the view was worth the pain.
the beach house that the council rented was massive. its modern design stands out against the blue ocean and white sand. large glass windows reflected the sun rays, and the sprawling deck held enough space for barbecues and hangouts. off to the side were lounge chairs arranged neatly with umbrellas softening the harsh sunlight. the waves crashing softly against the shore added a soothing background hum, instantly washing away some of your earlier tension.
“alright, everyone!” one of the council—who you recognized was soobin—announced, making heads turn to face him. “we’ll be assigning rooms in fifteen minutes. grab your stuff, and let’s meet in the living room.”
moments later, the group navigated to the now cramped space. you were sure there were at least twenty students in your house, and you wondered if it was enough to fit all of you. the rest are probably in the beach houses next door. the living room buzzed with activity. some familiar faces are scattered around the area; you gave them a polite nod when you met their eyes, thankful that they returned the gesture. you settled for the vacant space on the couch, with chaewon trailing behind you.
“settle down, guys.” soobin cleared his throat. the noise in the room died down, with jisung and chenle the last ones to squeeze into the room. soobin lifted his phone, assuming to read off the names and room assignments. “some already requested to be paired before this trip, so let me tell you which rooms you’ll be in.”
“chaewon and y/n.” soobin called out, head whipping to look for us, nodding once he spotted us. “you’ll be in room 3.”
chaewon let out a tiny clap with her hands, smiling at you brightly, to which you returned the energy. soobin continued announcing the names of the students who would be roomed together. mark and haechan are paired in the room across the hall from yours.
“i know some of you requested to be with your partners, but the school board requires us to separate male and female students.” soobin started, groans echoing throughout the room. “i know, i know. but this will just be for formalities. what you do after lights out is none of our business.” his comment drew waves of laughter and grins.
“jeno and renjun.” he continued, looking around the room. “room 6.”
the sound of his name made your stomach drop, nearly forgot that he was in the same room as you. you tried to keep your expression neutral as your eyes shifted to him, who was leaning against the wall with karina on his side.
“find your rooms and settle in. dinner’s at six. feel free to explore the area until then.” soobin finally finished disclosing information, and everyone hurried off to find their respective rooms.
chaewon led the way to your room, with you trailing behind her, struggling to navigate the vast house with your bags. the weight of your stuff was slowing you down, and you silently cursed yourself for your overpacking tendencies. startled, a pair of hands who obviously saw you struggle helped you carry them. you lifted your head to say thank you, but the words got stuck in your throat when you locked eyes with your rescuer, jeno.
“i could’ve carried them.” you mumbled, watching as he effortlessly carried your bag with one arm, and—you're assuming—his and karina’s bag in another. speaking of, where was she?
“just accept the help.” jeno replied, his tone simple. a wave of emotions washing over you—guilt, confusion, and something you did not want to name. this was the first time you’d talked to him since the incident. “lead the way.” pursing your lips, you ascended the stairs, feeling him trace your steps but not utter a word.
shortly, you found chaewon standing in front of a bedroom door, which you’re guessing is your room. her eyes widened when she saw who was behind you, but you’re thankful she didn’t mention anything.
“i can take it from here.” you told jeno, who nodded. he handed you your bag, his fingers grazing your skin as you retrieved it from his grasp. you don’t know if you were going crazy, but you swore sparks shot out of your entire body from the mere touch of his skin.
get a hold of yourself.
you thought to yourself. you have experienced jeno’s touch before, but why were you acting like a teenage girl who got to hold her crush’s hand for the first time?
you muttered a thank you to jeno before following chaewon, who had already entered the room. but before you could cross the doorway, you felt a hand on your arm. your heart speeded up at the contact. head turning to face him, he opened his mouth to talk, but no words came out.
“can we talk?” jeno asked, his eyebrows twisting in concern. “please?”
“later.” you affirmed, sending him a weak smile. “come over later.”
his lips tugged upward into a tight smile before nodding and walking away to enter his room, which you saw was just a few doors away from yours.
you shut the door behind you once you entered the room, sighing against it. chaewon watched you with worried eyes, and it took everything in you not to admit to her and cry in her arms. still, the weight of her stare told you that she knew something was wrong.
“had a small fight with jeno.” lie. “don’t worry, i’m used to fighting with his ass.” you dryly laughed. you knew she didn’t buy it but decided to let it go, not wanting to pry when you’re obviously not in the mood to talk about it.
you took this time to scan the room. two single beds in the middle of the room with a bedside table separating them. light blue wallpaper covering the wall, the sunlight peeking through the glass windows. and the view showcased the ocean’s beauty, which made you smile. maybe this retreat wouldn’t be so bad after all?
“you look hot!” chaewon complimented as you slipped into denim shorts. you were wearing a light pink two-piece bikini that was enough to prevent public indecency.
haechan texted you, saying that he, mark, and a few other people were hanging by the beach, and of course, you didn’t want to pass up the opportunity to feel the ocean breeze on your skin. you immediately pulled out the bikini you packed for this trip.
“look who's talking!” you giggled, pointing to her black bikini that perfectly hugged her body. “who will be the lucky guy tonight?” you wiggled your eyebrows teasingly, which she just laughed at.
“whoever it will be, i just hope he’s good in bed.” chaewon fake sighed, making you jokingly pat her arm.
the sun was about to set. some students were already grilling dinner to serve to everyone, and some were mingling by the pool. you could not wait to spend time with your friends to take your mind off him.
the two of you left your room and walked down the hall towards the beach. the faint sound of familiar voices filling the air as your toes reached the sand. you spotted mark, whose back was facing you, seated on a camp chair circling a fire. the cool breeze brushing against your skin as you neared them.
“there you guys are!” haechan exclaimed once he spotted you. he patted the empty chair for you to sit next to him, which you did. chaewon sat on the empty one next to yunjin, who was also in your year. you said your greetings to everyone around the fire, thankful that you were familiar with all of them.
the scent of the ocean filled your nose. the sounds of seagulls flying echoed the air. the warmth of the fire dancing on your skin. it felt soothing not to have to think about the stress of academics. however, your solace was cut short when a familiar couple took the spot directly in front of you.
“why don’t we play a game!” jisung, seated beside haechan, suggested, voice cutting through the conversation.
“what are we? twelve?” chenle scoffed, leaning against his chair while taking a sip out of his cup.
jisung smirked, punching him lightly. “come on, live a little, you prude.”
“bet you’re going to suggest tru-“
“truth or dare!” jisung suggested, eyes lighting up mischievously, earning a chorus of groans from the crowd, which you chuckled at.
“i think it’ll be fun!” chaewon chimed in, voice raising as she clapped her hands.
jisung scanned the area, “alright, let’s see!” a finger tapping his chin as he picked his first target. “jeno, truth or dare?” all eyes landed on him, including yours, watching as he contemplated what to choose.
jeno chuckled, running a hand through his hair. “truth.”
“boring.” jisung groaned but conjured up a question anyway. “who is the prettiest woman in this circle? and it doesn’t have to be your girlfriend!”
“jisung, you’re being weird.” renjun interjected, shaking his head in disapproval.
“what! it’s called truth or dare for a reason.” jisung defended, putting his hands up in defense.
jeno stayed silent for a second before he lifted his head. you swore his eyes lingered on you for too long before uttering his answer. “karina, of course.”
“boo!” jisung chanted, but some were in awe of his loyalty to his girlfriend. karina, who was next to him, jokingly rolled her eyes before kissing jeno on the cheek. you stayed silent, chewing on your bottom lip, trying to avert your gaze from the affectionate display.
“eric!” jisung called out. heads turned to him, who was seated beside you. you followed their gaze to see the handsome male.
“dare.” eric smirked, leaning forward in confidence.
“finally, someone who’s not a pussy.” jisung grinned mischievously, rubbing his hands together. “i dare you to kiss the prettiest woman in this circle.”
“dude, what is your obsession with pretty girls.” you heard mark whisper.
the circle broke into fits of laughter, but what happened next came as a shock to you. eric turned to face you, your eyes widening once you realized what he was asking. the laughter died down as everyone’s attention shifted towards the two of you. his eyes met yours, and your heart began pounding as the realization hit.
“what—” you started, but the words barely left your mouth before eric leaned in. his lips inches away from you, staring into you as if he was silently asking for permission. you froze, not retracting your face away. you gave him a tiny nod of confirmation. he placed a soft kiss on your lips, lingering just a second too long for it to feel innocent.
the group erupted into a mix of cheers, gasps, and whistles.
“my guy didn’t even hesitate!” mark exclaimed, patting eric on the arm. you pulled away from eric, cheeks heating up from the amount of people witnessing the dared kiss.
you didn’t want to, but you couldn’t help but sneak a glance at jeno. his expression was curious, his previous relaxed demeanor replaced by something you couldn’t understand, making you wonder if it was because of you.
eric leaned back into his seat, a cheeky grin on his lips. “sorry if it was too forward.”
you let out a small laugh, brushing it off. “it’s fine.” tucking a strand of hair behind your ears.
“moving on!” jisung announced, “renjun, truth or dare?”
jisung’s words faded away as your attention averted to something—someone—else. from the corner of your eye, jeno’s gaze was flickering between you and eric, his jaw clenching as he gripped the red plastic cup in his hand.
haechan leaned to you, mouth near your ear. “think that’s because of you?” he whispered as if he read your mind. he was always the one to tease you about your feelings for jeno.
“don’t be absurd.” you glared at him, pushing him away, but he only laughed. but deep inside, your thoughts were all over the place, with jeno’s reaction lingering in the back of your head, making things feel infinitely more complicated.
a knock on your door pulled you out of your trance. you decided to head back to your room, leaving the group behind to catch up on some well-deserved sleep. you were feeling overwhelmed with the social interaction you had to go through today, quietly slipping yourself away from haechan’s coercion of trying to make you stay longer. not to mention it seems like jeno and karina were getting heated up from the amount of affection they were displaying. you did not want to stick around when things escalated.
curious, you stood from the bed and gripped the doorknob before turning it and opening the door.
“hey.” jeno greeted, a sheepish smile on his face.
the wind was knocked out of you. you forgot you asked him to come over, seeing him in front of you made you nervous.
“jeno.” you breathed, .
“can i come in?” red exclamation marks were clouding your vision, but you shook them off, pulling the door wider so he could pass through.
jeno stayed silent as he entered your room, eyes wandering around the place for a second before facing you. you were almost certain you felt deja vu by your current positions.
“i wish you would stop avoiding me.” jeno started, “i know what i did was uncalled for, but i—it was—“
“did you tell her?” you interrupted, voice sounding sharper than you intended.
“i—no.”
“jeno.” you glared at him.
“i know! i feel so fucking guilty about it, too, okay? but i—“ jeno took a step forward to you. “have a lot in my head.”
“imagine how i feel!” you shot back, voice jumping an octave. “i made out with someone else’s boyfriend.” you whispered the last part as the weight of your words sank in.
“fuck, y/n. it’s not easy for me either.” his eyes were trained on you with an expression plastered on his face that you couldn’t quite understand.
“what are you saying?” frustration lacing your voice.
jeno thought for a second, letting the silence fill the air as he racked his mind of what to say. “do you like eric?”
“what? no!” you replied instantly to his ridiculous question. why does he even care if you had feelings for eric?
“does he kiss better than me?”
“are you insane?” you spat. “are you literally joking about this right now?”
“i’m not joking.” jeno inched closer to you. your heart racing once his scent reached your nose, his warmth radiating off his body. “does he?”
thoughts clouded your mind. why would he even care if eric was a good kisser? he had karina. a girlfriend who he had been with for years. “i’m not answering that.” you shook your head, crossing your arms across your chest in an attempt to build a wall between the two of you.
“i want to kiss you again.”
“what?” your knees grew weak at his confession. staring at him as if he had three heads. was he hearing himself right now?
“can i?” jeno grabbed your arms, making them uncross from your previous stance. so much for building a wall. “kiss you…” he dropped his grip from your arms, caressing your cheek with his hand. “again?” his thumb sliding down just enough to reach your lips.
“jeno…” you begged, almost sounding like a whimper.
“just… one more time, please?” he pleaded, gaze dropping to your lips. you didn’t miss the way he licked his lips before flickering his eyes back to meet yours.
“this is wrong.” you whispered, voice unsteady. your words contradict your actions.
“i know.” his breath fanned your face. “but i can’t stop thinking about our kiss.” his lips dangerously close to yours. the weight of his confession sending you into a spiral. “tell me to leave.”
you stayed silent. the words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation. the internal battle inside you faltered as you slowly caved in. you slightly shook your head no, and that was all he needed.
jeno kissed you like he had been waiting his whole life for it. you reciprocated his energy, arms flying around his neck to tug him closer to you. his arms wrapping around your waist to pull your body against him. you whimpered against his lips when you felt his cock hardening, just by your mere.
“fuck.” jeno whispered, hands cupping your face as he pulled away from your lips. “i need you so bad.” desperation lacing his voice.
“w-what?” you froze, not expecting things to escalate so quickly. “jeno, kari-”
“she’s mad at me.” oh. “told me not to bother looking for her tonight.” his expression turned sour from mentioning her girlfriend. odd.
your heart raced. is that why he was here? to look for release?
as if he read your mind, he was quick to respond. “you’re not a placeholder for her, y/n.” this was the first lie jeno told you. “i’m here for you.” he reassured.
jeno leaned in and kissed you again, the kiss soft and filled with need. your mind is still on the fence about the entire situation, but by the simple “please?” he uttered, your walls came crashing down. it felt like you two were the only people on earth.
one thing led to another; you found yourself laying on the mattress with jeno in between your legs. his lips on yours as he kissed you hungrily, his hands playing with the hem of your shirt. he pulled away from you, looking at you for confirmation before you nodded. he slipped the shirt off your frame, eyes roaming your bra-clad body the second you were exposed.
feeling vulnerable beneath his gaze, you moved to cover yourself, but his grip on your arms prevented you from doing so.
“don’t.” he muttered, leaning down to place a kiss on your chest. “beautiful.” his hand snaked behind your back, his fingers grazing the clasp of your bra. “can i?”
you nodded, and in a swift motion, the clothing fell down your chest. your heart speeding up as his fingers trailed from your back to just below your breast. he looked into your eyes for any signs of doubt, but you didn’t provide any. you needed him badly.
you reached for his shirt, tugging it as a sign. he noticed the signal and pulled away from you, lifting his shirt off his body. your eyes shamelessly traveling down his toned chest, feeling a wave of heat forming between your legs. damn his addiction to working out.
“you can touch me, you know.” jeno chuckled once he saw your mouth slightly part at the sight. you took his words as a sign to caress his chest, down to his abs and just above his abdomen, making him groan. “didn’t know you’d be such a tease.”
“shut up.” you mumbled, hands playing with the buttons of his jeans. “i’m taking my time.” you admired his body; after all, you had only been dreaming of this moment.
“oh?” jeno teased, grabbing you by the thighs and pulling you down so your core was close to his crotch, making you gasp. “well, i need you now.” he whispered before attaching his lips to yours, hand reaching up to your breast to knead the skin, making you moan against his mouth. his free hand reached in between your bodies to cup your core, the wetness seeping through as he gently rubbed up and down.
his cock growing against your core, feeling your body heat rise at the sensation. his fingers hooked the waistband of your shorts before sliding them down your legs, leaving you completely exposed.
in an abrupt motion, jeno took off his pants and boxers. his cock springing against his abdomen, the head red and precum spilling from the tip. you licked your lips before reaching to pump his cock. he was so big and thick, better than you could ever imagine.
“fuck.” jeno grunted against your touch, hips bucking to meet your hands. “i-i don’t have any condoms.”
“just pull out, i trust you.” you bit your lip. “and i’m on the pill if that helps.”
“why didn’t you start with that?” jeno replaced your hand with his. aligning his length with your entrance. spreading your wetness with the head of his cock.
you whimpered at the sensation before he slowly pushed into you. muted gasps leaving your lips, mouth falling agape as you grew accustomed to his size.
“shit—“ jeno’s hands fell to your hips, gripping on the skin. “you’re so tight.” he said, fully burying himself into you. your insides were burning from the lack of foreplay, but you didn’t care; you wanted him—needed him—before he slipped out of your grasp again. tears pricked your eyes as he adjusted himself. he stayed still, waiting for any confirmation from you. “i know, i know.” he muttered, pressing a kiss on your forehead once he saw your pained expression. “it’ll feel better, i promise.”
a few moments later, you tapped his thigh as a signal. he carefully moved his hips, slowly thrusting out before fully pushing in again. once you got used to his movements, moans spilled from your lips. he took this as a sign to increase his speed.
“god—“ you cried out, hands gripping the sheets beneath you. “jeno!”
his hands reached for your breasts, massaging them while simultaneously playing with your nipples. your back arched against the mattress when his fingers circled the sensitive buds.
your hips bucked up in an attempt to meet his thrusts, making him pick up the pace even more. “so good for me.” he praised, making your head dizzy. his lips find your neck, sucking and licking on the skin.
lewd sounds escaping your lips from his actions. your hand flew to grip his hair, tugging it lightly, making him grunt. the familiar knot forming in your stomach as he picked up his pace. your legs instinctively wrapped around his waist, the new position allowing him to bury his cock even deeper.
you cursed out his name as his tip perfectly hit the spot that drove you insane. “f-fuck.” you managed to let out. hands falling to his shoulder, fingernails slightly digging into his skin.
sweat trickled down jeno’s forehead as he pulled away from your neck. his eyes trained on you—his best friend—as you took his cock.
“are you gonna be a good girl and cum for me?” jeno grunted, watching your breasts bounce from his every thrust. he licked his lips at the sight.
you nodded, biting on your lip. “god—yes!”
jeno slipped his hand in between your bodies, fingers finding your clit. he circled the sensitive nerve, adding even more pleasure, making you near your orgasm even more.
“come on, baby.” jeno whispered, lips capturing yours. “cum for me.”
you clenched around him. your release begging to be freed, with a few more thrusts from him. you came crashing down on his cock. moaning loudly as you chased your high. you were thankful that almost everyone was busy getting drunk on the beach.
“oh my fucking god.” jeno groaned, watching as you squirmed beneath him. your back arching, giving him a perfect view of your tits. and soon enough, his orgasm hit him; he quickly pulled out, spilling his cum all over your stomach.
you lay there breathless, chest heaving as you recovered from your high. jeno pulled his body away from you, walking into the connected bathroom before coming back with a roll of tissue. he peeled a fair amount before rushing to wipe his cum all over you.
you giggled when his hands reached your sides, feeling ticklish. you watched him clean you up, and suddenly, reality came crashing in.
you just fucked someone else’s boyfriend. the air suddenly felt tight as jeno trashed the dirty tissues. he reached for his pants, slipped them on before reaching for your clothes, and placed them near you.
“oh my god.” you whispered as your realization kicked in. your hands reaching for the covers to hide away from him somehow.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked, brows furrowed as he watched you try to scramble away from him.
“jeno, we just fucked.” you reminded him, reaching for your shirt to cover yourself up.
“we’ve literally known each other for years, y/n. i don’t think now’s the time for you to be shy.” he chuckled, slipping his shirt on.
“that’s not—jeno, what about karina?”
jeno froze, expression twisting into worry at the mention of his girlfriend’s name, but he quickly shook it off, masking his unease. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of it.” he mumbled, avoiding eye contact with you. his words felt empty, a hollow reassurance that only deepened the pit in your stomach. you weren’t exactly sure what he was promising—what was he going to take care of? “i can’t stay here tonight.” he moved closer to the doom “i’ll see you soon?” his hand lingered on the doorway, finally fixing his gaze on you.
then it hit you like you were punched in the gut, and it all made sense now. you weren’t sure if jeno was here to patch things up with you or dig a hole even deeper, but given your past activity, you could only guess he made the decision for the latter. jeno was just here for a quick release. and who better to turn to rather than his best friend—the one he knew would always bend over backward for him?
you sat there, unable to move. you were equally to blame. you had let this happen. you let yourself fall down his trap, even though warning signs blared in your mind. you let yourself believe that he was capable of having feelings for you beyond friendship.
“right,” you nodded curtly, voice barely audible. “see you.”
jeno hesitated for a second, “don’t be a stranger, okay?” he said before slipping out the door. the soft click of its closing was deafening, and the silence that followed felt suffocating.
your gaze stilled on the door. his presence still lingering at the back of your head. he said he couldn’t stay, but you wondered if he wanted to. or were you just a convenient distraction, someone to make him feel grounded while he sorted his mess with karina?
tears welled in your eyes, but you quickly wiped them away. chaewon could be coming in any second—quite grateful that she didn’t when jeno was balls deep in you—and you refused to show any vulnerability, not when it comes to him. not this time, you couldn’t keep doing this—not to him, or karina, and definitely not to yourself.
your little secret was eating you alive.
here you sat, curled up on the couch in the living room of your shared apartment with chaewon. it was one of those rare nights when you and your friends—chaewon, mark, haechan, and jeno (when he wasn’t busy quarreling with karina)—could indulge in your movie night tradition.
the aroma of buttered popcorn filled the air, and a pile of blankets and pillows was scattered around the room. you were seated on the loveseat couch with chaewon beside you, her legs resting on your lap. mark and haechan were below you, sitting on the air mattress you had put out specifically for this night. and jeno splayed himself on the comfortable armchair. the tv illuminated the room as the opening credits of a classic rom-com played, but you were barely paying attention. how could you? your mind was floating, caught in a web of guilt.
after the encounter you had with jeno, you were convinced he was going to do the right thing—either end things with karina or at least come clean about what happened. but alas, you heard that he somehow made up with her, leaving you wondering and confused.
you felt used. it wasn’t that you expected he would ditch karina and be with you; you weren’t that naive. you simply hoped it would be the start of shifting your relationship—if you could even call it that—with jeno. but instead, he was still hesitant about crossing the line from friends.
jeno was within your peripheral vision, laughing at the comment mark had said about the movie. the sound of his voice made your stomach feel uneasy. he seemed so unbothered, so perfect and fine, yet you felt like you were drowning from the weight of what the two of you shared. it felt unfair.
you couldn’t bring yourself to tell anyone, not chaewon, not mark. you were carrying the burden alone. but jeno’s every glance at you made your body feel like it was under a spotlight.
it didn’t help that you hadn’t spoken to jeno about it. granted, you were both busy with university and this was the first time you’d been in the same room as him since the trip. talking through the phone just doesn’t seem enough for the weight of your conversation.
“why are you so quiet tonight?” chaewon asked, munching on popcorn. “you okay?”
“of course!” you shot her a smile, reaching for the bowl she had with her and popping some popcorn in your mouth. “just really wanted to watch this movie.” you lied, hoping she wouldn’t see right through you. she believed you, dropping the subject.
if only you could bury the truth as easily as you buried your feelings.
from the corner of your eye, you knew that jeno tuned in to the brief conversation, his expression dropping from the tone of your voice.
the movie continued. the comedic skits drew laughter from mark and haechan. chaewon lets out squeals whenever the main lead does something romantic. despite the bubbly atmosphere, you couldn’t fully immerse yourself in the group. you sneaked another glance towards jeno, whose gaze was directed to his phone.
his screen lit up, indicating a notification, and his fingers hovered over the keyboard. the soft glow gave you enough light to see his jaw tense slightly. you didn’t even have to think for a second that the text had come from karina. you felt foolish for somehow believing him when he said he would take care of it.
jeno stood up abruptly, drawing everyone’s attention. “i—uh have to go.” he announced, pocketing his phone and reaching for his jacket.
“what? i thought we were having a sleepover!” haechan whined, tossing a piece of popcorn in his direction.
“yeah, dude, the movie was just about to get interesting.” mark chimed in, his eyes darting to the screen, making sure not to miss a scene.
jeno could only muster a chuckle. “sorry, something came up. it’s, uh, family stuff.” he lied through his teeth. his eyes avoided yours no matter how intent you were staring at him, which alone was enough to confirm your suspicion.
why did he lie about seeing karina?
“everything okay?” chaewon asked, concern dripping from her tone.
“oh yeah, nothing serious. they just need my help with something.” jeno assured, enough to not worry anyone.
you stayed silent, watching as he lied about his whereabouts. you merely nodded at his words, not having the right words to say. they all bid their goodbyes, and you managed to utter a tiny “bye” to his departure. you swore he turned back one last time before leaving, not to look at the group but to look at you. the look on his face was unreadable, and you hated how you couldn’t see right through him.
once jeno left, everyone returned their attention to the movie. your chest felt much lighter by his absence, but once you thought about where or who he was going to, you felt a commotion stir inside you.
“how’s it going with you and jeno?” mark casually asked, making you panic. worried that you might have let something slip.
“what do you mean?”
“figured out how to get over that crush of yours?” oh. chaewon and haechan’s ears perked up, looking at you for confirmation.
“i’m trying.” you kept your answer curt, shrinking into the cushions, trying to avoid the discussion.
“you know, i have this friend, and i think he’d be perfect for you.” mark started, head turning to face you, a mischievous smirk plastered on his lips. “good looking, smart, studying for his medical degree, loves cats.” he listed, trying to make his friend sound as attractive as possible.
“what? are you trying to set me up on a blind date?” you raised your brow at him, which he only sheepishly smiled at.
“well, technically, it’s not blind, i have a feeling you’ve seen him around.”
“please! this is exactly what you need.” chaewon chimed in, nudging your body.
“i don’t know…” you trailed off hesitantly.
“why not?” haechan jumped in. “it’s not like you have anything to lose, right? and besides, it’ll be fun.”
“and it will be a good distraction from you-know-who.” chaewon chipped in.
they were all looking you, waiting for your response. you paused, contemplating their suggestion.
they were right. you had to stop considering Jeno in all your decisions. especially after tonight when he so painfully cannot let go of her even after your moment with him. it was clear where you stand in jeno’s life—his best friend who he had slept with. going on a date with a handsome stranger did spark something within you.
“fine.” you sighed, making them cheer. mark already reached for his phone. “don’t make me regret this.”
as excitement filled the room, you couldn’t help but be thankful that your friends were helping you keep your mind off of jeno. maybe this distraction was precisely what you needed.
you fixed your hair in the mirror's reflection one last time before heading out. today was your date with mark’s friend, jaemin. his name sounded oddly familiar to you, but you couldn’t pinpoint where you heard it. you figured it was a common name around the city, so you brushed it off.
to say you were not nervous would be a lie. your heart beat against your chest as you waited for the knock on your door. mark sent you jaemin’s number so you could set up the details yourselves. you’ve briefly exchanged conversations with the mystery guy, and you found out he was in the same year you were at university. it made you wonder if you had crossed paths with him.
jaemin persistently insisted that he come to pick you up at your place, claiming he is a gentleman. which was a massive check in your book, and you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. it was charming and refreshing. so here you were in a white silky long-sleeve dress that stopped mid-thigh, stocking on, and nice cute heels to go along with the outfit. he had told you to dress not too fancy but not too casual either, and you figured this was the best you could come up with.
moments later, the inevitable knock on your door came. you smoothed out the fabric of your dress before approaching the door.
“hi–” you pulled the door open and faced him, the wind knocking out of your body once you laid eyes on him.
jaemin was gorgeous. his black hair falling in the most perfect way possible. he was dressed in a black shirt that peeked through his jacket, paired with dark denim jeans. he emitted a calm, understated confidence that made your stomach flutter and your cheeks warm.
“hey.” jaemin greeted you, a smile on his lips, his voice warm and comforting. “you look—wow, stunning.” he breathed, feeling shy beneath his gaze.
“hi, jaemin.” you replied, returning his grin. “thank you. you’re not so bad yourself.”
jaemin chuckled, holding out his arm in a cheesy way. “shall we, m’lady?”
“oh god.” you covered your face with your hands.
“i’m kidding.” jaemin reached out to pull your arms away. “come on.” he slipped his grip from your arms to your hands, locking his fingers with yours. a bold move, but you liked it.
jaemin opened the car door for you. you silently thanked him as you slipped into the passenger seat. he closed the door gently before jogging to the driver's side.
“so,” jaemin spoke once he started the car. you turned to face him. “are you nervous?” a hint of playfulness in his eyes.
you couldn’t help but laugh at his question. “kinda.” you admitted.
“good, that makes the two of us.”
the car ride was surprisingly comfortable. the small talk flowed easily, revealing more of his sweet and kind nature. you noticed how he drove the perfect speed to not make you nauseous, how he would avoid the potholes in the street so the ride wouldn’t be bumpy. you were hoping this entire night would keep your mind off the chaos you tried to bury.
he pulled up to a restaurant that was part of town that you were unsure if you’d been to before. the minimal but sophisticated signage illuminated the name that you were sure you couldn’t pronounce.
jaemin didn’t forget to open your car door for you once again. his hand resting on the small of your back as he navigated the both of you through the dimly lit restaurant. fancy. he gave his last name to the host before you were both assisted to your seats. as you followed the steps of your waiter, a familiar laughter erupting in the air made you stop in your tracks
no. it couldn’t be.
“jeno!” jaemin greeted the young man. jeno turned his head as he heard his name called, and his familiar eye smile made its way to his face once he saw jaemin. but his expression quickly faltered when he saw you were next to him. when did this happen? he wondered.
across from jeno was—you already guessed it—karina, who was slicing through her steak, unbothered by the newly arrived presence.
blood raced through your head, feeling dizzy when the two men exchanged greetings and surprisedness. of course, that was why jaemin was so familiar, he was jeno’s roommate! you have only been to jeno’s apartment a few times, and he told you that he had a roommate who was busy with his medical degree, so he always opted to hang out at your place. you never would’ve imagined that he was the same jaemin that lived with jeno. you silently cursed mark and his conniving ways; he probably set this up on purpose, too.
you stood still, watching the scene before you unfold. the air suddenly felt tight as the waiter pointed to the two vacant seats directly beside jeno and karina. ringing noise infiltrated your ears as jaemin smiled and pulled out the chair for you to sit in.
“can—are there any other seats?” you asked the waiter. this time, karina dropped her utensils at the familiar voice, her brow raising at the sight of you. “i just—it’s too hot in here.” you stammered, gripping the back of your chair.
the scene in front of you felt like a cruel twist of fate. the universe couldn’t have planned this better if it had tried. out of all the restaurants in the city, you just had to end up here. with jeno. and karina. together. on the night that you were supposed to forget said people.
“are you okay?” jaemin was quick to your side, worry plastered on his face. his genuineness added to the heaviness of your chest. you sent him a weak smile, brushing off his worries.
“i’m sorry, miss.” the waiter said apologetically, bowing his head lightly. “we are fully booked tonight.” you pursed your lips, nodding at him.
the last thing you wanted was to sit through an awkward dinner with jeno within your eyes and earshot while his girlfriend smugly sat mere inches beside you, completely unaware of what happened between you and jeno. but you couldn’t let jaemin’s effort go to waste. you fixed your posture, grabbing jaemin’s outstretched hand that was waiting for you, and you sat on the chair he pulled out for you.
you couldn’t help it; you hesitantly glanced at jeno, whose gaze was intent on you, jaw almost clenching at your presence. swallowing hard, you lifted the menu to cover your face from his intense stare, questioning what you had done to deserve this.
somehow, jaemin couldn’t sense the tension between you and his roommate. he talked to you with a sweet smile, but you could barely register his words because you kept zoning his words out due to the presence next to him.
“oh! have i told you that this guy,” jaemin pointed his thumb to jeno who suddenly turned to look at him. “is my roommate! what a small world.” he chuckled.
your stomach dropped. of course, he had to bring it up. you chewed on your bottom lip, contemplating whether you should mention the nature of your relationship with jeno.
karina, who overheard your conversation, snickered before chiming in. “of course, she would know, silly! she’s jeno’s best friend.”
“wait, what?” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, gaze flicking from you to jeno. “you two know each other?” he questioned.
“yeah.” you forced a tight lip smile, feeling the heat creep up your neck. “we’ve known each other since we were kids.”
“wait, so you’re y/n—jeno’s y/n?” you winced at his words, hating how you were addressed. he wasn’t yours, and you certainly weren’t his. “oh my god, how didn’t i connect the dots sooner.” he mumbled, more to himself, still surprised by the proximity of relationships.
jeno let out a dry chuckle at his reaction, trying to mask his stern expression. the room suddenly felt hot. you reached for the glass of water and sipped it in the cool liquid to neutralize your throat.
“this makes tonight even better! no first-date awkwardness since you’re practically family with jeno.”
you choked on the water, the liquid spilling from your lips as you coughed, making jaemin’s eyes widen. people started to stare, but jaemin was already rushing to your side to help wipe the spilled water. out of the corner of your eye, you noticed jeno slightly twitch as if he wanted to offer some help but restrained himself, letting jaemin do the work. his jaw was tight; his lips were pressed into a thin line.
you wanted to crawl under the table. family? the word felt like a bucket of ice being poured down your body—literally. the word was laughable, given everything that happened between you and jeno.
jeno tried to peel his eyes away as jaemin’s hands roamed your body. averting his gaze to karina, his lovely girlfriend. he reminded himself.
once jaemin made sure you were okay, you thanked him, and he returned to his seat, apologizing to the other tables bothered by your sudden outburst. cheeks heating up when you realize a lot of people were witnesses to your clumsiness.
the food you ordered shortly arrived. the smell of freshly cooked meat and pasta filling the air, you hadn’t realized how hungry you were until the plates were set up in front of you. the meal provided a much-needed distraction, and the night seemed to flow more smoothly for a while. jeno finally fixed his gaze to fixate on his date, and you were paying attention to yours.
“hm, what are your pet peeves?” jaemin asked, taking a bite of his food.
you paused for a second, profoundly considering his question. “i hate liars.” you blurted out. you didn’t miss the way jeno’s hand froze mid-way into feeding the spoon into his mouth. “i hate when people tell me they’ll do something or take care of something for me but end up not keeping their end of the bargain.” you kept your tone casual. still, you knew you got the message across—even to the table beside you.
jaemin nodded along. “yeah, i get that.” his tone was empathetic. “it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t follow through. makes them seem untrustworthy.”
you smiled at him, grateful that he shared the same views as you. you stole a quick glance at jeno, whose gaze was fixed on the plate on the table, but his hand was nearly turning red from his grip on the utensil. karina, who seemed confused by his sudden behavior, reached out to grab his hand in hers, making jeno look up and let out a sigh—you don’t know whether it was one of contentment or annoyance.
“please excuse me, i need to run to the bathroom real quick.” you mumbled to jaemin, flashing him a small smile as you slid your chair back. he nodded, returning a gentle smile, averting his attention to his phone while he waited for you to return.
jeno heard your excuse, eyes scanning karina who was too busy consuming her dessert before flickering to you who disappeared into the hallway that lead to the restroom.
without much thought, jeno impulsively excused himself from karina, muttering something about needing to wash his hands.
you leaned against the bathroom sink, sighing to yourself before running the cold water over your hands to somehow calm your nerves. jeno was confusing you. you hated not knowing what he was thinking, not having control over the situation. you didn’t have it in you to actually talk to jeno about the previous events. you were afraid of hearing the truth—that he chose her, like he did over and over again.
the sound of the bathroom door creaking open brought you to your senses. you glanced in the mirror, expecting another customer, your heart skipping when you saw jeno standing there, his expression unreadable.
“jeno? what are you doing here?” you whispered, eyes wide as you realized he’s in the women’s bathroom.
“jaemin, really?” jeno snorted, face contorting into anger? annoyance? you couldn’t tell, in fact you were confused as to why he was acting out of proportion. “out of all the people, you chose my friend?”
“i didn’t know he was your friend.” you defended, frowning at his accusation. “and why do you care?” you prodded, trying to grasp the situation.
“i don't.” jeno shot back. “as your friend,” he said, as if the word was laced with venom. “i’m just looking out for you. jaemin’s very busy with his degree and i doubt he has time to settle down.”
you couldn’t help but laugh bitterly. “that’s rich coming from you.” you spat. “and friend? really? friends don’t do what we did, jeno.” you angrily whispered the last part, cautious of the people around.
jeno lightly flinched at your words, the sentence hanging heavy in the air. you sighed, getting ready to walk past him but he caught your arm before you could leave.
“i’m sorry.” jeno mumbled, regret evident in his eyes.
you shook your head, the lump in your throat threatening to be released. “just go back to her, jeno. isn’t that what you’re best at?” you pushed past him, shoulders brushing against one another, leaving jeno alone in the bathroom.
jaemin drove you back to your apartment. jeno and karina had left moments before you did, allowing you to let out a sigh of relief as soon as they were gone. you offered to pay for half the meal, but jaemin insisted on covering it, even sneaking in a small “you cover it next time,” accompanied by a wink that made your heart flutter.
jaemin was perfect. he lived up to mark’s description of him—kind, sweet, and painfully handsome. you’ve caught yourself staring at his face down to his lips more times than you cared to admit. there were even moments when your eyes drifted to his biceps when he shrugged his jacket off.
but somehow, deep inside, your mind stubbornly drifted back to the one person you wanted nothing more than to forget. seeing jeno witness you on a date to sparked a sense of satisfaction within you—a small win to prove to him (and maybe even yourself) that you were capable of forgetting that night. but the truth lingered in the back of your mind: you hadn’t. the little encounter you had with him also etched in your mind, still wondering what the meaning of all of it was. that night replayed over and over, making it impossible to let go. you convinced yourself that you didn’t care that he was still with karina, but it was like a fever burning you alive. every time you saw her, the weight of your actions dragged you down. you slept with her boyfriend, and no self-justification could erase the betrayal that you had inflicted. you weren’t sure if you could ever forgive yourself for it.
jaemin seemed quieter on the drive home, and you wondered if you ticked him off. he barely spared you a glance, and it made you even more nervous.
did he not enjoy the date? had you done something to upset him?
as he pulled up to your apartment, you beat him to open your door for you, wanting to escape the suffocating confines of the vehicle.
“hey, y/n.” jaemin called out when you barely glanced in his direction, directly jogging to your apartment entrance. you froze in your spot, barely entering your complex when he caught up to you. he stopped in front of you, his frame towering over yours beneath the moon's soft glow.
“did i do anything wrong?” you blurted out, avoiding eye contact with him.
“what? no.” jaemin’s eyebrows furrowed, shaking his head, sincerity dripping from his voice. “i was just thinking about how much i wanna kiss you tonight… but i didn’t want to scare you off.” he admitted, scratching the back of his neck.
the anxiety and tension within your body dissipated from his mere confession. you blinked up at him, processing his words. the knot in your stomach unraveled, and you felt foolish for jumping to the worst conclusion.
jaemin took a step closer, his warmth engulfing you. he lifted his hand, fingers gently tucking the loose strand of hair behind your ear. the soft touch sent a flutter through your body, instinctively leaning against his touch.
“can i?” he asked softly, voice so tender it was enough to make you melt.
you nodded, unable to find the words.
jaemin leaned in, your eyes falling shut as he minimized the distance between you. when his lips finally met yours, it was soft and gentle. his hand cupping your cheek while his other arm wrapped around your waist, pulling your body flush against his so that you were chest-to-chest.
his kiss wasn’t rushed and overwhelming—it was perfect as if he was savoring every moment.
he pulled away, lips mere inches from yours as you both caught your breaths. “i’ve been wanting to do that all night.”
you giggled at his confession, cheeks burning as you met his eyes. you placed your palms against his chest, fingers tapping. “i’m glad you did.”
jaemin grinned at you, his thumb caressing your cheek. “good.” he said softly. “because i’d like to do it again sometime.”
your lips parted to respond, but he placed a quick but affectionate kiss on your forehead before you could. a small gesture, but it made your knees weak.
“goodnight, y/n.” he mumbled, stepping away from you with a small wave.
“goodnight, jaemin.” you replied, smiling at him.
with one last glance, he turned and walked back to his car, leaving you with a smile you couldn’t seem to wipe away.
“tell me everything!” chaewon’s voice echoed throughout the apartment the second you stepped foot in it. you laughed as she almost tripped, making her way to you. she grabbed your hands, shaking them excitedly. “well?” she questioned, voice jumping an octave. “was he nice? handsome? did you kiss?” she gasped, hand covering her mouth. “did you fuck?”
“chaewon!” you playfully scolded her, as she guided you to the couch. her knees tucked beneath her as she looked at you with wide eyes, waiting for you to fill her on what happened.
you took a deep breath before you disclosed everything that had happened that evening. how jaemin was a perfect guy—not forgetting to mention how handsome he is—and how jeno and karina were at the restaurant you were at, deciding to leave out your encounter with jeno in the bathroom.
“what, what?” chaewon exclaimed, “they were there? out of all places jaemin could’ve taken you to?” she tried to suppress her laughter, but you saw how amused she was by your revelation.
“i know.” you groaned, letting your body fall on the sofa, head landing on her lap. “i’m convinced the universe hates me.” you covered your face with your hands.
“how did you feel?” chaewon asked, patting your head that was laid down on her lap. “when you saw jeno and karina together?”
you pondered for a second. how did you feel? there was a mix of emotions that coursed through you—guilt, anxiety, jealousy, anger. everything felt so different. jeno is—or was—your best friend. whenever you two argued, it could usually be resolved over a shared tub of ice cream, but this situation felt far beyond the reach of simple, sweet solutions.
no one knew about what happened that night, and it seemed like he had no intention of telling anyone either. you were equally guilty, of course, having taken part in such a scandalous act. but you couldn’t bring yourself to speak the truth aloud.
“i don’t know.” you mumbled, pulling your hands away. “i told myself before that i’ve accepted it, that he will never like me, but…” you trailed off, contemplating whether you should tell her to truth or just keep it to yourself a little longer. “but i have got to stop lying myself. i’m losing my goddamn mind because of him.” she nodded to your words. “it’s just so hard to pretend that he’s just my friend, chae.” a tear slipped from your eye, and she immediately reached to wipe it off.
chaewon stayed silent, still gently brushing your hair. “it’s okay.” she comforted, flashing you a soft smile. “you can’t just flip a switch and stop caring about someone who’s been such a big part of your life.”
her words struck like a chord. you blinked at her, sighing. “i just thought it would be easier as time passed by.” this time, you couldn’t stop the tears that gushed. you hadn’t realized how much you’ve been carrying alone. it was too much. you needed to clear your head.
“you’re not alone in this, okay? you’ve got me, mark, haechan, and now… even jaemin.” she wiggled her eyebrows, a teasing smile on her lips.
a small laugh escaped you despite the tears. “jaemin.” you repeated, the thought of him momentarily bringing you joy.
“excatly! and from what you told me, he sounds like a dream.” chaewon’s excitement bubbled up again. “now tell me more about him!”
the front door opened and shut, making jeno stand from his bed and walk out to the living room. jaemin was setting his keys down on the counter while shrugging his jacket off when he spotted jeno.
“hey, jeno.” jaemin greeted, smiling at him. “tonight was crazy! i didn’t even know she was the same y/n you told me about.” he recalled, heart feeling warm at the thought of you.
“yeah,” jeno replied gruffly, “so listen,” he started, making jaemin turn to him, listening intently. “y/n’s… my best friend, and i wouldn’t want anything—or anyone to hurt her, you know?” he threaded lightly, careful not to show too much emotion, but enough to get the message across. he knew he had no right to tell you who to date but something about seeing you with jaemin stirred something within him and he didn’t know if he wants to find out.
jeno couldn’t bring himself to admit it. he had been avoiding you as much as you were to him. he couldn’t face the consequences of his actions. this was unlike him. he didn’t mean to lie to his girlfriend—didn’t mean to lie to you. when he told you he was going to fix it, he thought he could get it over with karina. he saw you in the back of his mind every time he closed his eyes. he remembers the soft feeling of your lips against him or how your bodies were pressed up against one another. he felt like shit, having all these thoughts about a girl—his best friend—while he had a girlfriend. but something tugged at his heart, the sight of her brought him back to reality, grounding him.
how could he trade what he had for something uncertain?
jeno loved karina. he. loved. her. so he convinced himself. she was perfect—beautiful, confident, and everything he thought he wanted. he felt a pang of guilt every time he kissed her, every time he touched her. how could he hurt the woman he claimed he loved?
so why did the thought of jaemin kissing you make him feel like he was losing something he never realized he wanted?
jaemin raised a brow but nodded anyway. “of course, man. i like her. i wouldn’t do anything to mess this up.”
all jeno could do was nod, although the weight never left his chest. “thanks, jaem, that’s all i needed to hear.” he forced a smile before retreating back to his room.
your laughter echoing through the hall made jeno freeze. what were you doing here? he thought to himself. he curiously opened his bedroom door, trying to eavesdrop.
“sorry, it’s a bit of a mess. i haven’t had time to clean up.” jaemin nervously laughed, trying to chuck away any trash or mess lying around.
you giggled at his nervousness, “it’s fine, jaemin.”
you were here for jaemin, of course. jeno scoffed, shutting his door to try and drown out the noise.
it had been a week since your first date with jaemin, and the two of you had been texting constantly the minute you parted ways. to say he was great would be an understatement—he was perfect. he knew exactly what to say to sweep you off your feet, leaving you smiling and giggling at your phone more often than you’d like to admit. however, as much as jaemin was perfect, your heart had a way of tugging at you, persistently reminding you of the one person you were trying so hard to erase from your mind.
jaemin invited you over to his—and jeno’s—apartment. you were weary of accepting his invitation at first, not wanting to invade jeno’s space, especially after your encounter with him. but jaemin seemed so excited to see you again, and despite everything, you were, too. you decided not to let jeno affect your relationship with jaemin.
you took a seat on the far end of the couch while jaemin sat on the opposite. he shot you a funny look before patting over to the space beside him. “why are you so far?”
you were as nervous as him. you hadn’t been alone with a boy—other than jeno, mark, or haechan—in so long you weren’t sure if you could contain yourself. after all, you are still a very hormonal girl.
“no reason.” you mumbled, but your expression failed you. you were getting goosebumps with the simple chill of the air. jaemin chuckled, deciding to slide over to your side instead. your thighs touching from his sudden proximity.
“you’re cute.” jaemin muttered, his hand moving to brush the stray hair that fell on your face.
“are you sure jeno doesn’t mind that i’m here?” you questioned, facing jaemin.
“you’re literally best friends, i know he doesn’t mind.” he smirked, eyes falling to your lips.
oh, but jeno minded. he minded a lot. it wasn’t his fault that the walls in this apartment were thin. your voices pierced through, hearing your every word, every laugh. his chest tightening with something he couldn’t quite place his finger on—guilt? frustration? jealousy? all he knew was that hearing you with jaemin felt like a knife twisting deeper with every passing second.
“you’re so beautiful.” jaemin mumbled, licking his lips. you placed your hands on his chest, tugging the collar of his shirt slightly closer to you. his breath fanned your face as he inched closer to you. “just wanna kiss you all day.”
you closed the gap between your lips, savoring his taste. jaemin wrapped his arms around your waist, hoisting you so that you were straddling his thighs. you gasped at his suddenness, but you secretly liked it anyway, looping your arms around his neck. he effortlessly slipped his tongue into your mouth, taking control, and you let him.
you felt his growing bulge beneath you, making you giggle into the kiss. you ground your hips against him, pressing onto his cock, eliciting a groan from him. “who knew you were so naughty, hm?”
jeno had enough. he purposely pulled his door open, making a loud enough commotion to have you and jaemin separate from each other. you were about to hop off jaemin’s lap, but his grip on your hips prevented you from leaving.
“jeno, didn’t know you were here!”
“yeah, well, i live here too.” jeno grumbled, pretending to go to the kitchen and look for a drink. he saw you sitting on jaemin’s lap, and it felt like he was punched in the gut.
from jeno’s point of view, he could only see your face and the back of jaemin’s head. jeno’s eyes locked with yours, his jaw clenched as his gaze flickered to the both of you. your cheeks grew warm, your hands resting awkwardly on jaemin’s shoulders as if unsure where they should be.
“please don’t fuck,” jeno paused, eyes directly fixated on you, his eyes dark. your heart sped up, somehow getting his message. “on the couch.” maybe you were reading too much into it.
jaemin chuckled, his grip on you tightened, and suddenly, he stood up and held you in his arms. you yelped, legs instinctively wrapping around his waist. “we’ll move this party elsewhere.” he guided you towards his bedroom, leaving jeno alone in the kitchen with his fist curled up into a ball as he watched you descend into the room.
only a thin wall was separating him from you and jaemin. jeno knew what you two were up to. he sat on his chair, facing his desk, head in his hands as he tried to contain himself. his curiosity got the best of him. he stood up, walking towards the wall that faced jaemin’s room and pressing his ear against the wall.
holy shit. jeno thought. he could hear your soft moans through the mall, his mind flashing back to the night you spent together. the sound immediately traveling to his dick. jaemin either had his fingers or dick in you because the way you were whining for him sounded so pretty.
jeno couldn’t help it, he palmed himself through his pajamas, ear still pressed against the wall.
“fuck, jaemin.” he heard you cry out. he bit his lip, trying to prevent any noise from escaping him as he took his cock out of his bottoms. it didn’t take long before he heard clapping and squelching sounds from the other side of the room.
jeno was upset—upset that he had to listen to another guy fuck you while he pathetically jerked himself off. his fingers wrapped around his length, closing his eyes while he listens to your moans. he imagined you. imagined how you were in his room instead of the other. imagining how it was your fingers wrapped around his cock. he began to stroke himself slowly, his thumb smearing the pre-cum that managed to spurt from his tip.
your moans began to get louder, jeno began picking up his pace. fucking his hand with every sound that left your lips. his mind convinced himself that you were making such pretty noises for him. he contained the grunts that threatened to escape his mouth, lips nearly bleeding from holding back. you began chanting jaemin’s name through breaths, indicating that you were close. jeno continued stroking himself until he came hard with his hand around his length, just from the sound of your moans.
you jolted awake, glancing at the clock, the number 1:43 am on display. after you and jaemin had sex, you immediately passed out, not having a chance to get ready for sleep. jaemin’s arm was lazily wrapped around your waist. you gently pushed it away. your throat felt dry, so you decided to sneak into the kitchen to grab a glass. you picked up the discarded shirt on the ground—most likely jaemin’s—slipped it on, and put on your underwear before tiptoeing out of his room, careful not to make too much noise.
in the midst of chugging down a cold glass of water, the sound of a door opening was heard from the end of the hall. it was jeno’s room. you froze, realizing you were not in proper attire right now. you set the glass on the sink before trying to retreat into jaemin’s room.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice echoed through the hall. you mentally cursed as you got caught, thankful the room was still dark. that was until he met you in the kitchen, hand instinctively reaching for the switch to turn on the overhead lights. his breath hitched once he took in your state. legs bare and nipples hard against your plain white shirt that stopped just below your ass. it was like the universe wanted him to sin. “what are you doing awake?” he managed to let out once his eyes stopped taking in your figure. his voice was rough as if he had just woken up from slumber.
“just thirsty.” you mumbled, cheeks getting warm at your semi-exposed state. jeno wasn’t that covered at all, too. he was in his plaid pajama pants that hung low on his waist, and his chest was bare, his toned abs emphasizing under the dim lights.
jeno hummed, walking carefully towards you. “couldn’t sleep?”
you nodded, instinctively trying to move further away from him, but you bumped into the kitchen island behind you. trapped, you placed your hands against the counter to support yourself, forcing you to meet his eyes. you couldn’t understand the emotion behind them. your mind was getting hazy from his gaze. as much as you wanted to cower and run away, your feet seemed to stop working for some reason.
jeno leaned in slightly, his arms on either side of you as he gripped the edge of the counter, effectively caging you in. your whole body froze, unsure what to do next. all you know is his scent was once again invading your space. his face was so close to you that it reminded you of the night you spent together.
“why do you keep doing this to me?” he whispered, breath fanning your face.
“i’m not doing anything.” you defended, but your voice came out soft.
“exactly.”
jeno kissed you, and you kissed him back. your arms traveled around his neck, pulling him close to you. notwithstanding the fact that the guy you were seeing was in the other room, merely a few steps away from where you were.
the effect jeno had on you was different, almost perplexing. it was like he knew exactly how to get under your skin—like he knew that you would come crawling back to him like how he would to her.
jeno wrapped his arms around your waist. his tongue effortlessly slid into your mouth, twirling it around yours. suddenly, he hoisted your body so that you were sitting on the island counter, making you gasp through the kiss.
“open your legs for me.” he mumbled, pulling away from your lips.
you did as he told, spreading your legs. he stood in between them, giving you another short kiss before his hands traveled to slightly lift the hem of your shirt, just enough to give him the perfect view of your lacy underwear.
jeno groaned once he saw the wet patch forming between your legs. “you just got fucked two hours ago, and you’re still this wet?”
“how did you—“
“you’re not exactly quiet, sweetheart.”
you cowered, head turning away from him, but his fingers caught your chin, forcing you to look at him. his other hand hooking the waistband of your underwear, playing with it.
“can’t believe you’d rather get fucked by him when i’m right here.”
you glared at him. “this is wrong.”
“do you want me to stop?” you stayed silent, making him smirk. “that’s what i thought.”
jeno pulled your underwear down your legs in a painfully deliberate manner, making you swat his arm. he laughed, letting the fabric fall down the floor.
“keep laughing. i can just wake him up, and he’ll do it for me.”
jeno’s laughter faltered, a dark look in his eyes replacing his playful mood. “not fucking funny.” his hand cupped your core, a small yelp escaping your lips. his fingers ran down your folds, spreading your arousal.
your hands fell to his shoulders, gripping it as he teased your hole. it felt so wrong, but you had clearly decided to throw your morals out the window long ago.
“don’t like seeing you with him.” jeno admitted, his voice low. his confession was supposed to drive you crazy, instead, it felt unfair—like he wasn’t keeping his end of the deal.
“j-jeno.” you moaned, mindful of the volume of your voice. his fingers circled your entrance, just enough to drive you crazy. “you can’t tell me what to do.” you managed to let out, keeping him in place. it was almost absurd how he had the nerve to admit that he didn’t like seeing you with another guy while having a whole girlfriend himself. you bit your tongue back because, well, he was touching you so good, and quite frankly, you didn’t want him to stop.
“maybe,” he hummed before inserting two digits into your entrance. your head dropped to his shoulder, heavily breathing against his skin. he pulled his fingers out before inserting them again, your wetness coating his digits. “but at least i have you moaning my name like the slut you are.”
jeno thrusted his fingers at a pace that had your vision clouded with stars. your fingernails dug into his skin as he curled his fingers, hitting all your sweet spots. you bit your lip to avoid making too much noise, especially since jaemin was just in the room next to yours. his free hand snaked to your hair, gripping it while pulling your head away from his shoulder—careful not to tug on it too harshly—making you look at him in the eye.
“keep quiet. don’t want loverboy to find you grinding on my hand now, do we?” jeno smirked, making your mouth water.
you squirmed at the stretch of his fingers. when he felt you clench around him, he placed his thumb on your clit, rubbing addicting circles on it. his fingers effortlessly sliding in and out of you. his eye contact was overwhelming as he watched you tremble from his mere touch.
“oh god.” you cried out, face scrunching from the pleasure. your hips bucked against his hand, desperate to feel more.
jeno’s pajamas grew tighter at the sight of you, wishing nothing more than to bend you over and fuck you senseless on this counter—but he couldn’t. not when you just emerged from the room of one of his closest friends, where you did the same activities he wished he could’ve done with you. so he resorted to making you cum just with his fingers.
“be a good girl,” jeno mumbled, pressing his lips against yours. “and cum for me.” he increased the pace in which he was thrusting his digits, each one accompanied by the slight curl of his fingers.
your back arched just by his words, body pushing into him as small gasps left your lips. he almost smiles at the way you looked. so fucking cute, he thought.
“shit—jeno.” you whimpered. your stomach contracted, a clear sign that you were close. and with his thumb doing miracles on your clit, you couldn’t help but cum all over his fingers.
a string of curse words fell from your lips. legs trembling and breath shaking as you rode out your high. your posture nearly giving up as you tried to compose yourself.
jeno pulled his fingers away from your pussy. he couldn’t resist placing them in his mouth, lapping up your juices while maintaining eye contact with you.
that was so hot.
you swatted his arm, feeling shy, but he only chuckled. he leaned down, grabbing your discarded underwear from the floor. “can i keep this?” he boldly asked.
you pondered for a second before quickly snatching the item from his hand. “and if karina finds it?”
jeno grumbled, shoulders slouching from the thought of his girlfriend. “killjoy.” he muttered.
you hopped off the counter, slipping your underwear on. “i gotta go before jaemin wakes up.”
“right.” jeno mumbled, eyes lingering on you for a second, “no goodnight kiss?” he sure was getting comfortable.
“don’t push it.”
you sneaked back into jaemin’s room. his sleeping figure peacefully lying on the bed, almost in the same position you left him in. you nibbled on your bottom lip as guilt started to creep in. you occupied the space next to him. his unconscious self felt your presence, immediately wrapping his arm around your waist. you decided to close your eyes, slumbering taking over you while the weight of your actions sat on you.
you: i need u where are u
mark: ??? i am not your sneaky link
you: not like that asshole. need someone to talk to
mark: diner?
you: be there in 10
your eyes scanned the diner, looking for mark’s blond hair to stand out. spotting him at the corner booth, you slid into the empty seat before him. his head looking up to face you, his usual smile plastered on his face.
“hey, nerd.” mark greeted. “you okay? i thought you wanted to fuck me or something.” he chuckled, nudging his plate of fries close to you.
you groaned, head falling to the table. “i’ve had enough of fucking friends for a lifetime.” you mumbled, voice low.
“what’d you say?”
you lifted your head, crossing your arms on top of the table. “you have to promise not to be mad, okay?” you pouted.
“it depends.”
“mark! i’m serious, i don't think i can't take it anymore.” you groaned.
“is this about jeno?”
“what?” your eyes widened, head tilting at him. “not that i’m saying it is, but why did you think that?”
“it’s obvious. you two aren’t hanging as much as you used to. i just figured you got into a fight or something.” mark shrugged, leaning against the chair.
“before i tell you, you have to promise not to judge and that you won’t think any less of me.”
“alright, fine. i promise.” mark raised his hands in defeat.
you let out a sigh before telling him everything. starting from the night of the party—how that one tiny kiss led to the chaos you were now tangled in. you opened up about your feelings for jeno and how conflicted you were now that jaemin’s in the picture. you told him about how guilty you were for doing this to karina. then you moved on to your encounter at jeno and jaemin’s apartment.
mark’s expression shifted throughout your story. his expression juggling between shocked and confused. his brows furrowed in concern, mouth dropping in shock. he let out tiny coughs whenever the story steered into messy territory, his eyes wandering anywhere but on you, trying his best to keep his promise of not judging you.
when you finally finished summarizing everything to him, you covered your face with your hands, ashamed of your story. although your chest felt lighter at the thought of finally confiding about your situation with someone like you had just ripped open a wound and exposed it to the world.
“wow,” mark started, leaning forward and resting his elbows on the table. “that’s… a lot.”
“i know.” you grumbled, looking down at the table.
“but i’m not mad at you.” he quickly assured, his tone gentle. “and i don’t think less of you. after all, you’re still human, y/n. it must’ve been so confusing for you.” his hand reached across the table, taking your hand in his, in an attempt to comfort you. “i won’t lie, this is really messy, but you’re not a horrible person. you just made bad decisions, but it doesn’t mean you’re bad.”
anxiety washed over you, you wanted to believe his words, but a part of you was convinced he was only saying this because he’s your friend. you shook your head, feeling defeated. “i don’t know, mark. i just… i could’ve stopped it, you know? but i felt stuck.” your throat tightened as the words left your mouth. “i was too caught up in this—this fantasy of mine that i didn’t realize i’d be hurting people.”
mark’s thumb drew small circles on the back of your hand. “hey, we’ll figure it out, okay? the first step is being honest—talk to jeno. if you really regret it, tell him this… thing between you has got to stop. he’s your best friend, y/n, and he has a girlfriend, i know it hurts, but we can’t force things to happen.”
he was right. you couldn’t keep doing this to yourself, especially with other people involved.
“yeah.” you whispered, voice cracking as tears welled in your eyes. “i’m sorry, mark.”
“don’t apologize to me.” mark squeezed your hand. “i’ll support you no matter what, but you have got to clean this up. because the longer you wait, the worse it will get.”
you stood outside the lecture hall where jeno was, shifting your weight from one foot to another as you waited for the bell to dismiss his class.
after your conversation with mark and a sleepless night, you decided to confront jeno. the weight on your chest had become unbearable, and you knew it was time to address everything head-on.
“jeno—” you called out as students began to flood out of the room, but your voice faltered when you saw that karina trailed behind him, naturally reaching for his hand.
jeno’s head turned at the sound of your voice. his eyes widened when they landed on you, surprise evident in his expression. he hesitated before walking toward you, karina following at his side.
“y/n? what’s wrong?” jeno wondered, his tone soft. you weren’t exactly on speaking terms recently, so you looking for his presence was news to him. karina stood beside him, making your stomach twist uncomfortably. she glanced between the two of you, curiosity and perhaps suspicion flickering across her face.
you gave karina a polite nod, barely meeting her eyes. you couldn’t even face her; seeing him with her stung, and you didn’t even have the right to be hurt. she returned the gesture with a tight, hesitant smile. you always sensed that she wasn’t fond of you, you couldn’t blame her—especially with recent events.
“i need to talk to you,” you pleaded, looking up at him. “alone, please?”
karina’s expression shifted, but she said nothing. jeno glanced at her, silently asking for permission. she gave him a nod as jeno mumbled something you couldn’t hear. she let go of his hand after he let her go with a quick peck on the lips, making you avert your gaze elsewhere—the simple act making your chest tighten with jealousy and guilt tangled together.
jeno returned his gaze to you and gestured his hand for you to lead the way.
you ended up at the park located on campus. given your situation, a secluded area wouldn’t be the best for you right now. you and jeno sat on a bench with the perfect fountain view. chatter could be heard from around you, and it somehow eased your senses.
you stayed quiet, pondering on what to say to him. this morning you woke up with a heavy heart. you spent all night thinking about mark’s advice. the events of the past month haunted you. although your time with jaemin had been filled with warmth and laughter, the guilt clawed at your chest, begging to be released. you felt like you couldn’t entirely give yourself to him without addressing the elephant in the room with jeno.
it was unfair—to jaemin, who had been nothing but kind and sweet, and to yourself, for carrying a weight that wasn’t entirely yours to bear. it was also hypocritical, you were doing to jaemin exactly what you hated that jeno was doing to karina.
“y/n?” jeno’s voice bringing you out of your trance. you lifted your head to face him, his eyes filled with sincerity. “are you okay?”
you looked at him as if he had three heads. here you were, almost drowning in guilt, and he couldn’t even sense you were struggling. “are you serious, jeno?” you scoffed, folding your arms across your chest. the frustration you had bottled up spilled before you could register it. “you’re really asking if i’m okay?”
his eyes widened at your outburst, expression turning soft as he tried to read you. “i just—”
“i can’t take it anymore, jeno.” your voice turned soft, sighing. “this—what we’re doing, we can’t.”
“y/n…”
“can you be honest with me?” you asked. he nodded, gaze intent on you. “do you regret it? what we did?”
jeno paused for a second, scanning your exhausted expression. “i don’t want to hurt you.” he mumbled, voice low.
“that’s the thing, though.” you dryly chuckled, running a hand through your hair. “i’m already hurting. do you think it’s easy for me to see you with her, especially after what we’ve done?”
“what—”
“i like you, jeno.” you confessed, watching as his expression twisted into surprise. “i’ve liked you ever since we were kids, and i thought it was just a silly crush, but it’s not. i keep lying to myself that you’ll like me, that maybe you’ll see me the way i see you.” you spilled before you could even stop the words running out of your mouth. “every time you came to me when you fought, i thought that there was a reason you kept seeing me.” you blinked at him. “and i thought that you kissing me meant that you had the tiniest feelings for me, but you’re still with her, i see the way you look at her.”
“y/n, its not like that—”
“then what is it, jeno?” your voice trembled as you took a shaky breath. “because i—i’m losing my mind here, and you’re being… you’re being mean.”
“mean?”
“yes. you don’t have to lie, okay? i know i’m equally responsible for doing this with you, but i feel like i don’t deserve to be lied to. don’t tell me you’ll take care of things, and don’t tell me not to worry because i’ve been waking up worried ever since that happened! and what we did to jaemin the other day…”
“i’m sorry…”
“you love her, jeno. i get it. but do you have any idea how hard it was for me to see you run to her every time? how hard it was for me to pretend like i’m okay with just being your friend?” tears were threatening to spill from your eyes, and you looked up to prevent them from falling.
“i didn’t—i never meant to make you feel this way, y/n.” the guilt in his eyes was so heavy it made your heart ache.
“then what did you mean to do?” you asked, voice barely audible.
“i don’t know.” jeno admitted, “i’m confused, y/n. i care about you a lot, okay? i really do, but i…”
“you love karina.” you finished for him.
jeno stayed silent, and that was all the confirmation you needed. you stood up abruptly, wiping your tears with the back of your hand before turning around to walk away from him, each step feeling heavier than ever
the sound of hurried footsteps followed you, but you refused to look back, not when you were this vulnerable. before you could take another step, a gentle hand on your arm prevented you from moving any further.
“y/n, wait.” jeno pleaded, softly tugging your arm to turn you. your teary eyes meeting his gaze.
“let me go, jeno.” you clenched your jaw, forcing yourself not to cry.
jeno’s grip softened, but he didn’t let go. “give me time.”
you blinked at him, caught off guard. “what?”
“i—let me sort my thoughts first, okay?” jeno stared down at you, his eyes genuine. “i don’t what i’m doing. y/n. but i know that when i’m with you, it feels…right.”
“that’s not fair.” you frowned, shaking your head. “it’s not fair to her, and it’s not fair to me.” his words did nothing to ease the ache in your heart.
“i know, but…” his eyes never left yours. “i don’t want to lose you.”
you let out a bitter laugh, wiping your tears. “you don’t get to have it both ways, jeno. you can’t just keep me on the side while you figure yourself out.”
“i’m not trying to,” he said, stepping closer to you. his hand trailed down your arm to hold yours. your eyes widened, and you grew aware of the fact that you were in public. “please, just—wait for me.”
you opened your mouth to respond, to tell him how unfair he was being. but before you could muster up the words, his lips captured yours in a kiss that was soft but so desperate. the action filled with longing, as if it contained all the words he couldn’t say.
the world faded away as if you were the only people there, and all you could feel was him—his lips on yours. you hated yourself for it, but you couldn’t bring yourself to pull away.
your mouth moved against his before you heard chatter around you, making you push his body off of you. he kept his hand on yours, refusing to let go.
“don’t walk away, yet.” jeno pleaded. “i’ll make things right. i’ll talk to her and figure it out. i promise.”
his words sent a pang through your chest, making you shake your head. “how am i supposed to believe you, jeno? you always went back to her regardless. how do i know this isn’t just another moment you’ll regret?”
jeno pondered for a second, “i’ll be honest with her. i’ll tell her everything.”
“and then what?”
“and then,” he brought your hand up to his mouth, placing a soft kiss on your knuckles. “i’ll come and find you.”
your breath hitched at the sincerity of his voice. you wanted to believe him, but the ache banging against your chest reminded you of the risk. taking a deep breath, you stepped back slightly, breaking his hold on your hand.
“i’ll give you time, jeno.” your voice was soft but firm. “but you need to figure this out, really figure it out, before i can even think about…” you trailed off, unsure about what to label the entire situation.
jeno nodded, determination in his eyes. “i’ll call you, okay?”
and with that, you turned and walked away, your heart pounding with both hope and fear as you left him standing there.
the day had slipped into the evening. jeno walked into the halls of his apartment, the soft glow of the sun casting shadows across the room, reminding him how long it had been since your conversation earlier.
he pondered how he would bring the situation up with karina. no matter how hard he tried, he could no longer bury this secret. his mind kept drifting back to you, to how you looked so disappointed in him, and every time it did, his chest tightened with the thought of how things would never be the same again.
jeno loved karina. every time he closed his eyes, there she was—her face, her smile. she was his anchor, the one thing in his life that he couldn’t discard. they knew each other’s flaws and strengths. they argued, but they always bounced back from it. sure, they had their differences, but they always got through it, finding their way to one another.
i’ve always loved her. jeno thought. that’s how it always was.
but you… you were different.
you were his best friend—the one who knew him. you had been there for him since day one. you experienced life together, laughing over stupid inside jokes, supporting different decisions, and comforting each other through the toughest times. you were his safety net. the person who he knew he could rely on when it felt like the world was against him.
jeno sighed, running a hand through his hair. he had always considered you family—how could he not?
the thought of losing you terrified him. although he would be lying if he said he hadn’t had these flashes filled with thoughts of you. he’s used to dismissing them; it was you, for fuck’s sake. you had been his best friend for so long that even thinking of you differently felt crazy to him. but now, looking back to everything—the way his heart would race when your eyes met in a crowded room, the way his smile would reach his eyes when you laughed at something he said, the way he could always see you in the back of his mind—it all felt so clear.
realization came crashing down on him. his mind racing with thoughts of you. he thought it was just some passing attraction. but it was deeper than that. you were the only person who made him feel seen, the only one who showed him warmth. feelings he couldn’t even seek in karina, despite the love they shared. it terrified him.
he was too scared to admit it. he could no longer pretend. how could he? knowing a part of him belonged to someone else—someone who was not his girlfriend.
he felt sick, the guilt gnawing at him. he loved karina… didn’t he? his feelings for you were uncertain, fleeting… wasn’t it?
jeno opened the door to his bedroom, and his eyes widened at the sight.
“karina?” jeno questioned, brows furrowing. “what are you doing here?”
“jaemin let me in.” karina replied abruptly. her arms across her chest, an unreadable expression plastered on her face. she was sitting on the edge of the bed as if she was waiting for hours.
jeno set his things down on his desk before approaching karina. instinctively reaching up to kiss her, but she turned her head, his kiss landing on her cheek.
“what’s wrong, babe?” jeno asked, curiosity lacing his voice.
“you tell me.” karina responded, fishing for her phone in her pocket. a confused expression latched on jeno’s face as he watched her tap away on her phone. she raised her phone and shoved it in his face. “care to explain?”
his heart stopped. the color drained from his face as he stared at the photo she was showing.
it was you and jeno—kissing.
he could tell from your outfits that the photo was taken earlier that day, during your heated conversation near campus.
jeno’s mouth went dry as he racked up a response. “i—“ he stammered, words failing to come out.
“don’t try to lie.” karina interrupted, her brow raising. “winter sent it to me. we both know she wouldn’t fabricate such things.”
jeno’s stomach dropped. of course, they were seen, they weren’t exactly keeping it private. “karina…” he started, thinking of words to say to her.
what exactly do you say at this moment?
“that’s y/n, isn’t it?” karina scoffed, standing up, her height barely meeting his. “i always knew she was a whore.”
“don’t say that.” jeno’s tone shifted, eyes darkening as his voice got firm.
“what?” karina asked incredulously.
“she’s not a whore.”
“are you seriously fucking defending her right now? she kissed you! my boyfriend!” karina spat.
“i kissed her.” jeno admitted, his gaze all over her face.
karina nearly lost balance at his confession. “you—what!” she exclaimed, a frown forming on her lips.
“i kissed y/n.” jeno repeated, his gaze unwavering. “and it isn’t the first time we kissed.”
“what the fuck are you saying?” karina’s voice cracked, disbelief was written all over her face.
“i slept with her on the night of the retreat.”
karina’s eyes widened. “jeno—“
“i started it. i think i’ve known for a while, but i refused to face it.” jeno couldn’t even fathom the words he was spitting out. “i think i’m in love with her.” he admitted, more
the room fell silent at the weight of his confession. the burden lifted off his chest as he comprehended what he had spilled.
“i can’t believe this.” karina shook her head, a bitter, sarcastic laugh slipping past her lips. “after my friends told me i’m way too good for you. you fucking cheated on me? with some bitch?”
“don’t drag her into this. it’s my fault.”
“fuck you.” karina spat, prodding a finger on his chest. “and fuck her, too.”
karina stormed out of the room, pulling the door wide and loud enough to cause a commotion.
jeno called after her, “karina, wait. i’m sorry!” he followed her through the hall.
“sorry?” karina shot back, spinning around to face him. “sorry you got caught, or sorry you have a homewrecker for a best friend?”
jeno winced at her words. “i’m sorry for what i did.” he replied softly. “for hurting you. you didn’t deserve that.”
karina stared up at jeno, eyes glistening as his previous confession came crashing down on her. “i never want to see you again, jeno.” she said, voice breaking before she turned and walked out, slamming the door behind her.
jeno stood frozen in the hallway—the ghost of their conversation haunting the air.
“dude…” jaemin’s voice cut through the thick silence.
jeno turned to the source of his voice, a sullen expression on jaemin’s face. he was standing in the doorway of his room, clearly having heard the entire conversation.
“jaemin!” jeno exclaimed, completely forgetting his roommate was next door. “did you—“
“you’re in love with y/n?” jaemin cut him off, his expression unreadable. he tilted his head as he looked at jeno. “why didn’t you tell me?” he crossed his arms across his chest.
jeno opened his mouth to respond, but nothing came out. he took a second before letting out a sigh. “i couldn’t—i wasn’t sure.” he admitted.
“did you… sleep with her when we were together?” jaemin treaded lightly, unsure if he wanted to hear the answer.
“no! no, we didn’t.” jeno defended, shaking his head. technically it wasn’t a lie. a little fingering doesn’t count as fucking, right?
“i see.” jaemin nodded, a weary look on his face. “i don’t think i can continue seeing her then.” he frowned, rubbing the back of his neck.
“what?”
“you love her, man.” jaemin sent him a small, sad smile. “i don’t want to stand between you.”
“but you said—“
“don’t get me wrong. she’s beautiful and amazing.” jaemin interrupted, holding a hand up. “but you’ve been there for each other since you were kids. i could never stand a chance.” he shrugged. his expression softening.
jeno swallowed, his chest tightening. he never meant for this to happen. jaemin is one of his best friends, and he had betrayed him. “she likes you, jaems.”
“but she loves you.” jaemin lifelessly chuckled. he took a step closer to jeno, placing his hand on his shoulder, and giving it a firm squeeze. “go get her, jeno.”
taking a deep breath, jeno smiled at jaemin. he knew what he had to do.
you anxiously stared at your phone, as if guarding it would make a notification pop up.
the entire night had been a blur of pacing around your room. the events of your conversation with jeno are stuck in an endless loop in your mind. you hated feeling this way, as if your heart was at someone else’s mercy.
“come on…” you muttered to yourself, checking your phone once more. nothing. just the same blank lock screen.
you sighed, flopping onto your bed and letting the pillows engulf your head. your chest felt heavy. what took him so long? he said he would fix things—was it a lie? maybe he changed his mind. maybe he—
your phone buzzed, snapping you out of your thoughts. your heart jumped as you grabbed it, only for your heart to sink even deeper. it wasn’t jeno.
it was jaemin.
jaemin: hey, y/n.
jaemin: i’m sorry to message so late.
jaemin: i think it’s best if we stop seeing each other.
jaemin: i’m sorry.
your head began to spin. your eyes scan his message repeatedly, trying to make sense of it.
what? your mind raced. this wasn’t what you expected. why would jaemin reach out? and why was his timing odd?
your fingers danced over the keyboard, thinking of a response. a hundred of questions swirled in your head. was this because of jeno? did something happen between them? did he find out what happened in his kitchen that one night?
you: did i do something wrong?
jaemin replied almost immediately.
jaemin: you deserve someone who can give you their all, and i don’t think i can.
jaemin: take care, y/n.
your brows twisted into confusion. his response made you even more curious. his words sounded kind, almost too rehearsed. it was as if something was missing, and you couldn’t figure out what.
you stared at the screen, blinking at his message. your emotions swirling wildly between confusion, frustration, and hurt. and still nothing from jeno.
what the fuck was going on?
another buzz came from your phone. instantly checking it, your confusion growing deeper.
karina: never knew you were into boys who had girlfriends
karina: *sent one photo*
holy shit.
you sat up in bed, heart banging against your chest. eyes refusing to leave the photo of you and jeno, openly kissing each other from earlier.
and karina knows.
your hands trembled, throat feeling tight. you dropped your phone on your bed and rushed out of your room. tears blurred your vision as the gravity of the situation finally sank in. you had no idea what to do, the room felt like it was shrinking by the second. you needed someone.
without thinking, you rushed out of your room and ran to chaewon’s. you banged on her door, your knuckles trembling as tears flowed down your face.
the door opened almost immediately, revealing chaewon in her pajamas, her eyes widening as she saw your state.
“y/n? babe, what’s wrong?” she instinctively wrapped her arms around you, her hand caressing the back of your head to console you.
“i fucked up.” you cried out, sniffling against her shirt, but knowing her, she doesn’t mind. “i didn’t—i wasn’t—” you stammered, head feeling light.
chaewon hummed, “hey, hey, it’s okay. slow down.” she pulled away just enough to see your face, “whatever it is, we’ll figure it out, okay?”
“chae, i—“ you gasped, unable to stop the tears from gushing out. “i need to tell you something.”
soon enough, you both sat on chaewon’s bed while she tried to comfort you. you told her everything, sparing no details. she sat silently while intently listening to your spew. from repeating your confession to mark to your encounter with jeno earlier, down to jaemin’s cryptic texts—and finally, the photo karina had sent you. by the time you finished, chaewon had a worried expression from your entire story.
“y/n…” chaewon began, and you flinched lightly. you knew she was serious; she would usually refer to you using endearments or your nickname, but the lack thereof told you she was not in the mood to tolerate your actions. “this is serious. i love you to death, but you fucked up.”
“i know,” you sniffled, wiping away the tears with the tissue she previously handed to you. “i don’t know what to do.”
chaewon let out a deep sigh, grasping your hand in hers. “first off,” she reached up and helped you wipe your tears. “you need to stop beating yourself up. i know you’re in a sticky situation, but falling apart isn’t going to help you figure it out.”
you nodded, even though her words hadn’t completely eased your mind.
“and second,” she continued, voice growing softer. “i know you won’t like it, but you need to stay away from jeno for a while. let him sort his shit out. give him time.”
even though you refused to face it, the weight of her words eventually sunk in. she was right. it would be unfair for you to force jeno to make his decision immediately, especially since he is in a relationship.
after a long night of sobbing in chaewon’s arms. you eventually passed out beside her, with the thoughts of jeno being the last thing you remembered.
lightning struck across the campus as you exited the library, tugging your coast closer in an attempt to shield yourself from the downpour. you silently cursed yourself for forgetting to bring an umbrella today. looking up at the sky, you wondered if you could bolt through the pouring rain.
it has been a week since your last encounter with jeno. it would be a lie if you said you were doing fine. every passing minute made you even more anxious. he had made some efforts to reach out to you—sending you texts, calling your phone, and even talking to your friends to ask and see you. but your guilt was weighed heavier than your longing, and you had convinced yourself that you couldn’t face him. not yet.
you stuck with chaewon’s advice; you gave him space. although you felt like the distance was killing you more than him.
you missed jeno. how could you not? he was your best friend. you were so used to being so close to him that the space between you was foreign. you missed having him over and talking about everything and nothing all at once. you missed hearing his voice and his comforting laugh. a smile crept up on your face every time you looked back at your memories with him, making you feel ridiculous.
it was foolish of you to think that you could sway him into thinking that you were the one for him. he always loved karina and you were afraid that it was what his heart was heading towards.
you tried reaching out to karina. you sent her an text even though you knew words alone wouldn’t be enough to mend the damage. once you saw that your message bounced back, you tried again on another platform, the same thing happened. you realized she had blocked you on every social media app. you don’t blame her, of course. you had to live with the pain you caused her.
you clutched your bag tightly before running out in the rain. your apartment was a ten-minute walk from campus—maybe less if you ran. the cold droplets seeped through your clothes as you hurried along the wet pavement, shivering as the storm grew.
you nearly reached your apartment when a car screeched to a halt in front of you, its headlights glaring through the rain, clouding your vision. your brows furrowed as you used your hand to shield the bright light. squinting as you tried to make out who was behind the wheel through the rain. the car door opened, revealing a tall figure emerging from the driver’s seat.
jeno.
“what are you doing out here in the rain?” jeno raised his voice enough for you to hear him through the sound of the rain hitting the pavement.
“i didn’t have a choice.” you admitted, your voice trembling from the cold and the sight of him. you watched, puzzled, as he left the warmth of his car to stand in the rain with you, water drenching his hair and clothes.
“aren’t you freezing?” jeno questioned, shrugging off his soaked coat and gently draping it around your shoulders.
“aren’t you?” you looked at him with wide eyes. the rain dripping down his face did him justice, he still looked beautiful.
“you’ve been avoiding me,” he said, tone turning soft. deja vu. “why?”
“i thought you needed time.”
“i said i would come and find you.” his eyes locked on yours.
“karina sent me—“
“i know.” he interrupted. “i told her everything.”
your heart sped up. “how’d she take it?”
“we broke up.” he said, the weather matching his tone. “for real this time.”
“oh.”
“oh?” his brows furrowed, taking a step towards you. “that’s all you have to say? oh?”
“well, what do you want me to say?” you frowned. “thank you for breaking up with your girlfriend for me?”
“i didn’t—you know it wasn’t like that.”
“then what is it, jeno?”
“it’s you.” jeno said. even with the rain surrounding him, you heard him loud and clear. “it’s always been you.”
you blinked up at him, stunned, lips quivering.
“i was too blind to see it,” he continued, stepping closer until your chests were nearly brushing one another. “too scared to admit it. but it’s you, y/n. it’s always been you.”
your heart pounded as he raised his hands to cup your face. his gaze was soft and focused on you. only you.
and then his lips were on yours, warm despite the storm. you melted into the kiss, your hands clutching at his soaked shirt as the noise of the rain started to drown out. the kiss was soft but so full of emotion that it left you breathless.
“jeno…” you whispered once you pulled away, his forehead resting against yours. “i missed you.” you admitted, voice trembling.
“i missed you, too.” he mumbled, his lips brushing yours. “i’m not letting you go again.”
“kiss me.”
jeno didn’t hesitate. his lips found yours once again, kissing you softly but quickly turning passionately. his hand copper your cheek as his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, asking for permission. you parted your lips, and he immediately shoved his tongue in your mouth, exploring it with hunger. a soft whimper escaped you as his hands slid down to grip your waist, pulling you closer.
“need you,” he murmured, pulling away lightly. your gaze flickered briefly towards his car, and as if he had read your mind, he took your hand and guided you to his vehicle.
jeno parked the car on the side of the road, grateful that the rain had driven everyone to stay indoors. the windows fogged almost instantly as you both scrambled into the back seat, the heat between you radiating.
jeno’s hand found you once more, gripping your waist as he pulled you onto his lap. your legs straddling either sides of his thigh. he pressed his lips against yours, kissing you like he had been holding back for years. the rain was pounding on the roof of the car, but neither of you cared.
you could barely think, lost in the sensation of his touch as he slid down your coats. your heart beat against your chest once you made eye contact with him. you could make out the sharp lines of his face through the soft glow of the moon. your hand reaching up to caress his cheek, not believing that you had him in your clutches.
“what’s wrong?” jeno asked. “do you want me to stop?”
“no.” you instantly responded, shaking your head. “i just can’t believe it.”
“can’t believe what?” jeno’s lips trailed down your jawline, kissing and sucking on your skin.
“that you’re mine.”
“better believe it, baby. i’m not going anywhere.” jeno chuckled, kissing you again. his lips molded with yours slowly and sweetly. you pressed your body against his, hips instinctively grinding down on him.
“want you so bad.” jeno groaned, his hand reaching down to the hem of your shirt. looking up to you for confirmation, and when you showed no signs of refusal, he lifted the fabric off your body. leaving you in your soaked dark bra. “my beautiful girl.”
you grew shy beneath his gaze, trailing one finger down to the zipper of his jeans. “how bad?” you breathed, toying with his pants, feeling him grow hard below you.
“so fucking bad. i’ve been dreaming of having you again.” jeno admitted, hands roaming your body. reaching behind you to unclasp your bra—which he did effortlessly. once your breasts were on full display for him, he couldn’t help but attach his mouth to your nipple, enclosing his lips around the bud while his fingers circled the other. you moaned, arching your back, pushing your breasts closer to him.
in a swift motion, jeno’s shirt and pants were pulled off him and discarded somewhere in the car. your bottoms and underwear, too, were slid off your body. leaving the both of you breathless and naked.
jeno laid you down on the backseat, carefully trying to maneuver himself between your legs. his gaze on your completely bare body, all waiting and craving for him.
“you’re driving me insane, did you know that?” jeno mumbled, tracing his fingers over your delicate body. from your chest, down to your stomach, and in between your legs. “couldn’t stop thinking of you. no matter how hard i tried, i could always see your pretty face.”
jeno’s fingers ghosted over your entrance, making your breath hitch. his digits toying with your slick, spreading them up and down your folds. “so wet and ready for me, hm?” he teased, watching you squirm from his touch.
“j-jeno.” you whimpered, hips bucking as he circled your clit.
“so cute,” he whispered, almost entirely to himself. he inserted two fingers into your pussy, making you gasp. your hands fly to his shoulder to grip it for support. “you like that, baby?”
“y-yes, so good.” you cried out, making him smirk. he pulled his fingers out ever so slightly before thrusting them in again. keeping his pace steady as your pussy swallowed his digits.
“want to taste your sweet pussy.” jeno said, pulling his fingers off of you before sliding his body to the floor of the car. “sit up for me, baby.” he instructed, and you immediately followed. sitting up while he kneeled in front of you. “good girl.”
jeno wrapped his arms under and over your thighs, pulling your pussy close to his face. he inhaled your scent before darting his tongue out, licking your folds. you moaned out his name as his tongue circled your clit while his fingers returned to your core. he easily thrust his fingers in, curling them just the way you liked it while his mouth relentlessly sucked on your clit.
“oh god.” you moaned. your hand falling to grip his damp hair, tugging on it.
jeno’s rhythm was perfect. his fingers and tongue were in harmony as he pleasured you. you were a trembling mess from his touch, each movement of his threatening your orgasm to come even closer.
“you’re so fucking sweet.” he hummed against you, sending vibrations throughout your entire body. a jolt of pleasure coursing through you as he pressed his tongue flat against your clit, while his fingers increased in pace. “gonna cum for me, baby?”
you nodded, the familiar tight knot forming in the pit of your stomach. with just a few thrusts of his fingers, you came crashing down. you clenched around him as you rode out your high. his pace decreased while his tongue lapped up your cum. you shivered from the sensation, chest heaving from your orgasm.
jeno smiled before leaning up and pressing a sweet kiss on your lips, tasting remnants of your arousal on his lips. “ready for me, baby?”
“hurry up.”
jeno chuckled, taking a seat beside you. “ride me, princess?” he tilted his head, almost in a pleading manner.
you climbed on his lap, supporting yourself on his shoulder while your other hand reached in between your bodies to align his cock with your entrance. you teasingly rubbed the tip of his length against your slit, watching him bite his lip at the sight.
“stop teasing me. i need you so badly,” jeno grunted, his large hands reaching behind your back.
you smiled before sinking down on his cock, mouth falling agape at his size.
“oh fuck.” you whispered once he was fully buried into you. you caught your lip in between your teeth as your walls adjusted to his cock. his hands rubbing soothing motions on your back as he watched you with dark eyes.
“slowly, baby.” jeno assured, pressing a soft kiss on your lips.
you slowly started to bounce on his cock. the sensation was burning but quickly turned into pleasure. you held onto his shoulders as you increase your pace,
“fuck, fuck.” jeno chanted, head falling against the headrest. “so tight and warm for me.”
whines slipped past your lips with each bounce, the tip of his cock perfectly kissing your cervix.
“s-so big.” you let out, nails digging into his shoulders.
jeno lifted his head, his eyes falling to your breasts, watching as they bounced right in front of his face. his mouth caught one of your nipples, tongue circling the sensitive bud.
the car shook with every movement you made. the window fogging and the scent of sex filling the air. you gasped as jeno’s fingers reached between your bodies, thumb circling your clit. your legs started to burn from riding him, so you sank further and began grinding on him.
“holy shit.” jeno cursed, pulling away from your nipple. his free hand gripping your hip to guide you, pushing you further down on his cock.
“i-i can’t—“you cried, tears forming in your eyes. legs growing weak with every grind.
“you can do it, baby. fuck yourself on my cock like the good girl you are.”
jeno’s words sent shocks through your body, moaning loudly as you chased your high. the stretch of his cock was enough to cloud your vision with stars. feeling lightheaded as you rocked yourself forward, the friction drove you insane.
“fuck, that’s it, baby. almost there.” jeno groaned, his voice deep.
you were cumming in no time as jeno increased his pace in circling your clit. your body squirming as you clenched around his cock. but jeno’s grip didn’t falter, still guiding you to grind your hips and you did. helping him reach his climax.
“shit—i’m gonna cum. where do you want it?”
“inside, jen.”
“fuck, i love you.” jeno grunted, making your eyes widen. with a throaty moan escaping his lips, his cum painted your walls. you gasped as his cock twitched inside you. catching his breath, he placed a kiss on your lips before flashing you a lazy smile.
“what did you say?” you questioned, an evident smile on your lips.
jeno’s grin faltered, a flush of embarrassment replacing his expression. “i love you, y/n.” he repeated more confidently. “i’m sorry it took me so long to realize.”
“i love you, too, jeno.”
relief washed over him as he cupped your cheek, pulling you into a kiss that was slow, sweet, and filled with every unspoken word between you.
in that moment, the outside world ceased to exist. it was just you and jeno, wrapped in a love that had always been there.
“do we have to go?” jeno groaned dramatically, burying himself under your covers as if the mere thought of leaving your apartment was too much to bear.
you couldn’t help but giggle at him. grabbing his shirt from the ground and putting it on. the oversized fabric falling just above your thighs. “yes, jeno. we promised them, remember?”
jeno peeked beneath the comforter, his dark and messy hair sticking up in different directions. his gaze falling to your almost bare state. he sat up to wrap his arms around your waist, pulling you into his lap, making you squeal. “why go to some party, when we could just stay here? in bed? loving each other?”
you playfully smacked his arm, although secretly loving his treatment. “because, baby, we said we’d be there. and besides,” you added, turning to face him with a smirk. “don’t you want to show off your girlfriend?”
the corner of jeno’s mouth lifted into a wide grin. “girlfriend, huh?” his voice laced with pride. “let’s go. but only because i love the sound of that.”
the loud music echoed throughout the house party. you and jeno entered together, his fingers intertwined with yours. as you both navigated the crowd, you spotted chaewon, mark, and haechan all hunched up together near the kitchen.
“y/n! jeno!” chaewon greeted, sending a wave over to the both of you. “what took you so long?” she engulfed you into a hug.
you returned her hug with a laugh. “it’s his fault.” you teased, nodding in jeno’s direction.
“hogging our girl all to yourself, lee?” mark raised a brow, smirking as he took a sip from his cup.
“correction,” jeno playfully glared, wrapping his arm around your waist, pulling you close to him. “she’s my girl.”
“barf.” haechan made a gagging motion, scrunching his face. “can’t believe we lived to see the day these two finally get together.”
“finally?” jeno questioned, a knowing smirk on his face as he faced you.
“y/n had a massive crush on you—” haechan singsong tone was cut short by your swift swat to his arm.
“okay, that’s enough!” you interrupted, dragging jeno away to grab some drinks. “let’s get drunk, shall we?”
jeno chuckled, pulling your body flush against him. he captured your lips into a soft kiss, the chaos of the party fading into the background.
as the night went on, the teasing and laughter continued. jeno stayed close, his hand never leaving yours. it felt good—natural—to finally not be afraid. throughout the evening, you caught him staring at you on multiple occasions. his eyes filled with adoration every single time, your heart felt content, and you knew this was exactly where you were meant to be.
