"i don't think anyone ever really saw me" stop it. "i don't want to burn again" with the added gut punch of johnny being gay and the sinclars religious. STOP IT . GAT'S FUTURE DREAM. THE FUCKING DOGS. MIRREN'S ART GALLERY. "'You're a child'/'i'm YOUR child'" NOOO. MIRREN COULD HAVE JUMPED OUT THE WINDOW BUT SHE WENT BACK FOR JOHNNY AND CADENCE. GAT COULD HAVE STAYED IN THE BOAT BUT HE WENT IN FOR THE LIARS. THEY WERE SIXTEEN AND DRUNK AND ANGRY THEY DESERVED SO MUCH MORE
summary when the liars sneak to a boat party their first night back on beechwood, a tiny shirt and one dance push johnny and his lifelong best friend past the edge of friendship for the first time
warnings little use of y/n, suggestive content/language
iâve never belonged anywhere the way i belong on beechwood. not because my bloodline ties me to anythingâi donât have the sinclair jawline or the sinclair bank account or the sinclair nameâbut because tipper sinclair once sat beside my grandmother on a beach in the eighties and said, âour families should grow up together.â
and they did.
so even though i live nine months of the year somewhere that doesnât smell like salt or lemon oil, iâve spent every summer of my life here, running feral across this island with cadence and mirren, with gat and johnny, with the soft roar of the atlantic tucked behind every memory.
harris and tipper made sure i had a place in beechwood. my own room in clairmont, tucked beneath the slanted eaves, where the curtains lift like theyâre breathing and the wooden floors always creak good-naturedly under my feet. where the bookshelf smells like dust and old paperbacks, and my pillow always smells faintly of the lavender sachets tipper tucks beneath the cases every june.
the aunties treat me differently, each in their own way. penny gives me brisk kisses on the cheek and says iâm âso grown,â like sheâs half-worried about it. carrie hugs me too tightly and tells me i look âradiant, darlingâ in that floaty voice she uses after her second glass of wine. bess crushes me to her chest like iâm one of her own and immediately asks if iâve eaten.
the littles cling to me every year like theyâre rediscovering an old favorite toy. liberty begs for braids. bonnie wants me to jump off every rock with her. will demands a full audience for each lego dragon he builds.
but the liarsâcadence, mirren, gat, and johnnyâthey are the drumbeat of my summers. the pulse beneath the sunburns and saltwater. the reason beechwood feels less like a vacation and more like a life i step back into.
and now, as the ferry docks and the humid air rushes over me like a welcome-back embrace, my entire body exhales.
the gravel crunches under my sandals as i wheel my suitcase up the familiar path toward clairmont. the house rises out of the hydrangeasâwhite, sprawling, impossibly elegant in that old-money way thatâs meant to look effortless. sunlight slides across the windows, and for a moment iâm so overwhelmed by the familiarity of it that my eyes sting.
tipper is waiting on the porch, waving both arms as if iâve been gone years instead of months. her lipstick is bright coral; her smile is brighter. âthere she is!â she calls, and i feel six again, arriving for my first summer, clutching a stuffed rabbit and wearing a wide-brimmed hat my mother insisted on.
i drop my suitcase and run up the steps. she takes my face in her hands and studies me like sheâs checking for damage.
âbeautiful,â she decides. âand taller. you must stop doing that, dear.â
i laugh, hugging her, breathing in her perfumeâpowder and citrus and something floral i can never name.
the screen door bangs open, and harris appears, holding two glasses of iced tea. he gives me a reserved, grandfatherly nod that somehow still feels like affection.
âwelcome home,â he says. simple. definitive.
home.
the word settles into my chest.
i barely step inside before i hear themâdistant voices, laughterâfloating in from the backyard. the liars. i follow the sound like instinct, like gravity, like the thing in me that only wakes up in june.
the back doors are open, breeze lifting the curtains as i slip through.
cadence sees me first. she gasps dramatically and sprints across the lawn, nearly tripping over her own feet. she slams into me with a hug so tight my ribs groan.
âyouâre here,â she breathes into my neck. âfinally.â
mirrenâs next, gliding over with her soft smile and sun-kissed shoulders. she hugs me more gently, but her excitement buzzes under her skin. âyour hair got longer,â she notes. âyou look so pretty. andâolder? in a hot way. did you get hotter?â
i just laugh, tugging her closer.
gat saunters over, smirking. âjohnnyâs gonna combust.â
âgat.â cadence elbows him. âsubtle.â
i barely have time to shoot them a puzzled look before i see the mess of johnnyâs blonde curls in my peripheral vision.
heâs leaning against the back railing, body relaxed in that deceptively casual way he uses when heâs trying to hide something. his skin is darker than last year, heâs much, much taller, and heâs wearing that stupidly worn gray shirt he always steals from red gateâs laundry room.
our eyes meet and his face breaks into the kind of grin that used to mean everything to me when we were kids.
he pushes off the rail instantly and walks straight toward me.
âthere you are,â he says, and his voice is warm in a way that hits somewhere behind my ribs.
i grin back. âmiss me?â
âobviously,â he deadpans, but his eyes are lit up, bright and soft and openly relieved.
and because weâre best friendsâreal best friendsâhe pulls me into a hug without thinking. not a quick one. a real one. arms around my waist, my face pressed against sun-hot cotton, his heartbeat thudding steady against my cheek.
i breathe him inâsaltwater, sunscreen, something familiar and johnny-shapedâand for a second the rest of the island goes quiet.
he pulls back first, but only barely. his hands linger on my arms. his eyes flicker over me like heâs cataloguing every difference from last year.
âyou lookâŠâ he starts, then stops, scrubbing a hand through his hair. âgood. likeâgood good.â
the tips of his ears go pink. i try not to smile too hard.
gat mutters ânailed itâ behind him; cadence covers her laugh.
johnny shoots them a look, but heâs smiling tooâcrooked and impossible and so familiar it hurts.
and just like that, itâs summer again with the ocean humming behind us, the grass warm beneath my feet, the liars orbiting around like planets.
the liars scatter after an hour on the lawnâcadence dragging mirren to her room, gat going to âborrowâ a bottle of something from edâs stash, johnny mumbling something about checking on will.
i head upstairs to my room in clairmont, tugging my suitcase behind me, wood floors creaking in that familiar, comforting way. sunlight filters through the sheer curtains, warm and golden, dust drifting lazily in the beams like itâs dancing.
i inhale; lemon oil. lavender. saltwater.
home.
i unzip my suitcase and sift through my clothes, trying to find something decent for the first-night chaos us liars always get into. i grab a cropped tank at firstâsimple, safe. but i pause.
cadenceâs voice echoes in my memory from last summer: âyou never show off. not once. you should.â
iâm not sure what makes me do itâmaybe the heat, or the excitement, or the way johnny hugged me earlier like he was relearning how i fit against himâbut my hand reaches deeper into the suitcase, pulling out the outfit i packed half as a joke.
the tiny black tank top that dips scarily low down the middle. and the pale, fluttery low-rise skirt that sits on my hips and leaves nothing to the imagination.
i hold it up, my heart ticking faster. oh god. should i?
i can practically hear mirren in my head: yes. absolutely yes.
i change quickly, the tank top brushing soft against my skin, the skirt swishing with every step like a whisper. the mirror catches me and i blink.
i look older. more confident. almost sinclair, in that effortless, sun-kissed way.
the thought makes my cheeks warm.
cadence bursts into my room without knockingâas alwaysâand stops dead.
âoh my god,â she breathes, grabbing the doorframe. âyou lookâi meanâholy shit.â
mirren slides in behind her and lets out a soft gasp. âjohnnyâs going to die.â
why does everyone keep saying that? i want to scream.
i throw a pillow at her. âweâre best friends.â
cadence gives me a look that could perforate metal. âyes, sweetie. and iâm the queen of england.â
i roll my eyes, but my stomach flutters anyway.
âitâs just an outfit.â
âsure,â cadence says, circling me like a jeweler inspecting a rare stone. âand the oceanâs just water.â
mirren steps behind me and gently adjusts the straps on my top. âno, really. this is perfect. the boys on that boat donât stand a chance.â
we meet our boys at the side path behind clairmontâthe usual rendezvous point when weâre sneaking out. the sky is turning dusky violet, the air warm against my bare stomach as we cross the lawn.
gat spots us first. âwow,â he says, eyebrows raising. âthat is⊠not what you wore last year.â
i donât have time to ask what she means because johnny steps into view from behind one of the hedges, holding a backpack and looking over his shoulder as he whispers something to willâprobably instructions to lie if anyone asks where he went.
and then he turns around.
and sees me.
his entire body goes still.
i watch amused as his hand slips off the strap of the backpack. it thuds softly against his ankle, but he doesnât look down. his eyes drag over me in a way that is nothing like how best friends are supposed to look at each otherâslow, disbelieving, almost stunned.
i swallow. suddenly the night feels warmer.
gat coughs a laugh. mirren digs her fingernails into my arm to keep from squealing.
johnny triesâreally triesâto snap out of it. he blinks, shakes his head just a little, pushes a hand through his sun-bleached hair like itâll rearrange his brain.
âyouâŠâ he starts, then stops. he clears his throat and tries again. âyouâre wearing that.â
i lift my chin. âwould you prefer i change?â
he opens his mouth. closes it. his throat works as he swallows. âno,â he says, voice lower than usual. âitâs justâwow.â
the word hangs between us, strange and warm and dangerously honest.
my stomach flips.
i try to play it cool. âwow good? or wow bad?â
his eyes lift to mineâdark, direct, soft around the edges in a way that makes my pulse jump.
âwow⊠distracting.â
cadence actually chokes. mirren smacks her arm.
heat rushes through my chest. i pretend itâs from the summer air.
johnny looks away too quickly, as though the force of what he just admitted startled him. he scrubs his palm against the back of his neckâa nervous tell iâve known since we were barely ten.
âwe shouldâuhâgo,â he mutters, grabbing his backpack. âbefore someone notices weâre gone.â
but when he steps past me, his arm brushes mine, barely there, and he glances down at where our skin touches like he wasnât prepared for how it would feelâneither was i.
we move quickly once johnny mutters âletâs go.â
cadence and mirren slip ahead, hands brushing the tall grass as they lead us down the shadowy side path behind clairmont. gat follows behind them, already pulling a speaker from johnnyâs backpack, whispering about which playlist is âboat-appropriate.â
i fall into step beside johnnyâitâs automatic, the way itâs always been. for summers and summers, weâve walked like this: shoulder to shoulder, sharing warmth, drifting in and out of conversation that feels more like breathing than talking.
the gravel crunches under our feet as we reach the bend in the path, cicadas buzzing in the trees overhead. the ocean hums somewhere ahead of usâa low, steady vibration, like itâs calling us closer.
johnny keeps glancing at me.
not in a gross way. not even in a flirty way. in a what happened to my best friend while she was gone and why is my heart acting weird way.
the thought makes me laugh.
he kicks a pebble forward. âyou didnât tell me you were bringing⊠that.â
i bump his arm lightly. âmy shirt?â
âshirt is generous.â but heâs smiling nowâwide, lopsided, teasing.
i make a face. âmaybe i wanted to dress up.â
âyou did.â he swallows. âyou look good.â
i raise an eyebrow. âyou already said that.â
âi didnât say it enough.â
my breath catches, but the path dips and the group ahead of us laughs, and i pretend my heartbeat isnât trying to sprint out of my chest.
we reach the turn that leads to the private dockâold wooden planks stretching out toward the darkening water, lanterns flickering from posts like watchful eyes. the faint thump of distant music drifts over the waves.
mirren spins around. âhideout mode activated,â she whispers dramatically, pressing a finger to her lips.
gat shoves her playfully. âyou say that every year.â
cadence grins. âand every year it works.â
the adults are still at dinner. the littles are inside playing a board game. harris is probably reading on the porch. no one notices five teenagers slipping into the dusk.
johnny touches my elbow as i step onto the dock. a light touch. guiding. instinctive.
i shouldnât feel it everywhere but i easily do.
the party boat is anchored a little ways offshore, enough that we have to climb into a smaller one to get there. some summer kids are already waiting on itâlaughing, passing around a lukewarm can of something, legs dangling over the side.
the moment i step into the first boat, conversation dips.
eyes flick down. then up. then linger.
itâs not predatory. itâs more like: oh shit, she grew up.
cadence smirks into her shoulder. mirren mouths, called it. gat chuckles softly. and johnny goes still beside me.
he doesnât say anything, but his jaw shiftsâjust slightlyâas a boy i vaguely remember from summer fourteen gives me a slow, appreciative look.
when we reach the bigger boat, music pulses through the hullâa low baseline vibrating against my calves as i grab the rail and climb up. warm, humid air hits my skin instantly. the deck is crowded, lantern light flickering gold across moving bodies. someoneâs perfume mixes with saltwater and beer and sunscreen.
i barely set foot on board before a guy steps into my pathâdark hair, tank top, smile too wide.
âhey,â he says, eyes dipping to the cut in my top. âhavenât seen you here before.â
i open my mouth to answerâsomething polite, nothing seriousâbut johnny appears at my side like heâs materializing from the shadows.
âsheâs been here,â he says, voice steady but threaded with something new. âyou just werenât paying attention.â
the guy blinks, sizing him up. âjohnny sinclair, right?â
johnnyâs lips lift in a tight, sinclair smile. âthatâs me.â
the guy backs offâgood-naturedly, not intimidated, just redirectedâand melts into the dancing crowd.
i turn to johnny. âwow.â
he shrugs like he didnât just bodyguard me. âwhat?â
âi can handle myself.â
âi know.â he looks at me again. âthatâs the problem.â
my skin prickles. âproblem?â
he steps closer so he doesnât have to raise his voice over the music. the space between us shrinks to something electric, something intentional.
âyeah,â he murmurs. âbecause everyone keeps looking at you. and iââ he cuts himself off. swallows. looks away toward the ocean like the waves might give him instructions.
i touch his arm gently. âjohnny.â
he meets my eyes, and this time he doesnât hide anything. the tension. the confusion. the suppressed jealousy.
âjustâŠâ he exhales. âstay close, okay?â
i should laugh. tease him. roll my eyes. but instead my chest warms, tight and full.
âokay,â i whisper.
his shoulders relaxâbarely.
cadence grabs gatâs hand and pulls him onto the dance floor, mirren trailing behind them. music swells, lights flaring gold and blue across the water.
johnny looks at me again and offers his hand.
âdance with me?â
my heart trips but my hand finds his like it always has.
âyeah,â i breathe. âi will.â
the music swells the second johnny leads me into the crowdâwarm bass rolling through the deck, the kind you feel in your ribs before you hear it. bodies move around us, swaying, laughing, silhouettes blurred by lantern light and the shifting glow of someoneâs cheap string lights wrapped around the rail.
johnny stops in a pocket of open space near the stern. the boat tilts slightly with the waves, a lazy rocking that makes everything feel looser, easier, almost unreal.
his fingers are still wrapped around mine.
he seems to realize it at the same moment i do.
johnny lets go slowly, like the release might burn him. my skin tingles where his palm had been.
âyou good?â he asks, leaning close so i can hear him over the music.
the question is innocent. the tone isnât. thereâs something careful in itâsomething that sounds like heâs trying not to press a boundary neither of us has admitted exists.
i nod. âyeah. you?â
he huffs out a laugh thatâs half breath, half disbelief. ânot even a little.â
before i can ask what he means, his hands find my hips.
not boldly. not greedily. just naturally. like this is how heâs supposed to hold me. like heâs done it a thousand times.
his thumbs brush the bare skin just above the skirtâs waistband, and i swear i feel it everywhereâup my spine, down my legs, under my ribs.
we start to sway, the soft roll of the boat guiding us. the music is something low and sultry, the kind meant for people who are already too close, and suddenly it feels like the entire deck shrinks to the size of our shared breath.
johnny leans down, lips near my ear. âyouâre gonna get cold,â he murmurs, voice rough.
âiâm not cold,â i say, and it comes out breathless.
his breath catches just slightly. he pulls me a little closer. not enough to be obscene. just enough that my chest brushes his. just enough to feel the heat of him through that worn gray t-shirt.
we move together easilyâtoo easily, considering weâve never danced like this before. his fingertips press lightly into my waist every time the boat rocks, steadying me even though iâm not at risk of falling.
or maybe i am.
his eyes drop to my lips for half a secondâhalf a heartbeatâbefore flicking away like he wasnât supposed to.
my pulse stumbles.
âjohnny,â i whisper.
his jaw flexes. âdonât say my name like that.â
âlike what?â
âlikeâŠâ he shakes his head, breath unsteady.
the lantern light swings across us, catching the green flecks in his blue eyes. heâs looking at me the way nobody looks at their best friend.
âyouâre different this summer,â he says quietly.
i swallow. âso are you.â
he lets out a soft, humorless laugh. âyeah. thatâs the problem.â he says, like earlier.
âwhat problem, johnny?â
he hesitatesâreally hesitatesâlike heâs arguing with himself. then: âguys are staring at you,â he says, voice lower than the music, lower than anything iâve ever heard from him. âand i donât like it.â
my cheeks warm. âyou said that already.â
âi didnât say it right.â his hands tighten briefly on my hips before softening again. âiâmââ he exhales. âi donât know whatâs wrong with me.â
nothing about the way heâs holding me feels wrong.
i lean in just enough that my chest brushes his again, intentional this time. i feel the breath he sucks in.
âjohnny,â i say softly, âlook at me.â
he does. instantly. like the request tugs on something deep in him.
his eyes sweep my faceâmy mouth, my eyes, the line of my neck. slow. searching. almost scared.
the music dips, someone shifts the playlist, the lights flicker, the boat rocksâeverything moves except him.
he steadies me again even though iâm not off balance. his thumb strokes my hip without his permission. his breath is warm on my cheek.
âi donât want to ruin anything,â he murmurs.
âyouâre not.â
âi might.â his forehead almost touches mine now. almost. âyouâre my best friend.â
âi know.â
âand youâŠâ he trails off, biting back whatever words almost followed.
the silence stretchesâbut not empty. full. electric. humming with the weight of something weâve ignored for too long.
i shift a little closer. his hands slide to the small of my back in response, instinctive, protective, familiar and brand-new all at once.
we sway. and the entire boat seems to sway with us.
âtell me to back off,â he says suddenly, voice low and shaking slightly. âif you want me to. just tell me.â
i look at him and the truth spills out of me before I can catch it. âi donât want you to back off.â
johnny goes absolutely still.
the air between us snaps tight as a wire. his fingers curl into the fabric at my lower back. his breath stutters against my cheek.
âokay,â he whispers, like the word is both a promise and a surrender.
then he pulls me against himânot too hard, not too fast, but with a certainty that sends heat zinging through my whole body.
weâre chest to chest now. thigh to thigh. heartbeat to heartbeat.
dancing, but barely moving. breathing, but only each otherâs air.
johnny tilts his head, lips just brushing my templeânot a kiss, not quite, but enough to make my knees wobble.
âstay with me tonight,â he murmurs.
someone bumps into us from behind before i can respondâlaughing too loudly, sloshing a cup of something stickyâand the moment breaks just enough that johnny steps back. not far. just enough to clear his head.
the air feels colder without his chest pressed to mine.
he drags a hand through his hair, breathing like he just ran up a hill. âwe should⊠get some air,â he says, but it comes out uneven, like heâs not actually talking about the temperature.
my pulse flutters. âokay.â
johnny takes my hand. not like a friend. not like someone helping me through a crowd. like someone claiming me in a room full of people who already noticed the way he looked at me.
his fingers slide between mine, warm and sure, and my heart flips into some new, reckless rhythm.
the liars are still somewhere inside the crush of bodiesâcadence shouting along to the music, mirren dancing with her eyes closed, gat arguing about something philosophical with a stranger. no one notices us slipping away.
johnny leads me toward the steps without looking back.
the night air hits me the moment we step out of the crowd. cool and damp, brushing goosebumps up my arms. the water laps against the boat, soft and rhythmic, like itâs breathing for us.
johnny stops near the railing, still holding my hand, thumb brushing absently against the back of it. his other hand braces on the metal rail, knuckles tense, shoulders coiled like heâs trying not to explode.
the lantern overhead swings gently, light moving across his face in warm flashesâjaw tight, lips parted, eyes dark.
iâve seen johnny sinclair in a hundred moods: mischievous, annoyed, cocky, bored, exhausted, sun-sleepy, sand-covered, chlorine-drenched.
iâve never seen him like this.
he turns toward me slowly, searching my face.
my breath catches, but i donât say anything. i just wait. because he always talks when heâs ready.
he drops my hand only to step closer, so close the heat of him seeps into my skin. my back brushes the rail. the boat rocks gently, pulling us an inch closer.
his eyes flicker downâto my mouth, then lower, the neckline of my topâand he inhales sharply, almost pained.
âyouâre gonna drive me insane,â he whispers.
heat floods through me. âjohnnyâŠâ
âi donât mean to.â his voice cracks around the honesty. âiâm trying so hard to justâbe normal. be your friend. like always.â he leans in, forehead nearly touching mine, his breath warm on my lips. âbut then you show up looking like this and dancing with me like that and iââ he breaks off, swallowing hard. âi canât think straight.â
the boat tips slightly with the swell, pushing him another inch into me. my hands find his shirtâfistfuls of soft, worn cottonâbecause i need to hold onto something before the world tilts again.
âjohnny,â i breathe, âlook at me.â
he does. instantly.
and it hits meâthe way heâs looking at me now isnât new. itâs just new to notice.
his gaze is hungry. careful. reverent. terrified.
our noses almost brush.
âif you kiss me,â i whisper, âit wonât ruin anything.â
his jaw clenches. âyou donât know that.â
âi do.â
johnny lifts one hand, hesitates, then cups my cheek so gently it nearly breaks me open. his thumb strokes along my jaw. his breathing shakes.
his lips hover over mineâbarely there, barely not.
one breath. two. three.
he whispers, voice raw: âtell me to stop.â
âi'm not going to.â
his mouth inches closerâso close i feel the warmth of him, the brush of air, the promise of everything weâve been dancing around for yearsâand then thereâs a shout from inside the cabin.
cadenceâs voice: âwhere are they? johnny? y/n?â
johnny freezes. every muscle goes taut.
he leans his forehead against mine, eyes squeezed shut, breathing like heâs begging the universe for one more second.
âiâm gonna lose my mind,â he mutters, pained.
i laugh softly, breathless. âme too.â
he pulls back just enough to look at me, his hand still on my cheek, thumb brushing lightly as if he canât bear to let go yet.
âthis isnât over,â he says quietly, promise threading through the words. ânot even close.â
before i can answer, cadenceâs voice tears through the night again, closer this time, slightly breathless. âjohnny? y/n? are you guys making out or dead? clap once for alive!â
i groan under my breath. johnny shuts his eyes like heâs being personally wronged by fate.
âi hate her,â he mutters.
âno you donât,â i say, but it comes out soft, dazed. iâm still feeling the ghost of his almost-kiss like it actually happened.
he pulls his hand from my cheek slowly, like it hurts to let go, fingers trailing along my jaw one last time. his palm drops to the rail beside my head, caging me in for a second. weâre still too close. my heart hasnât gotten the memo that nothing actually happened.
âwe should go back in before she starts a search party,â he sighs.
âshe already did,â i point out.
we just look at each other for a beat. his hair is mussed from his hand raking through it, eyes darker in the lantern light, mouth still too close to mine for anything to feel normal.
he leans in a fraction, like he canât help it, like heâs tempted to say screw it and kiss me anyway. instead, he whispers, âstick with me, okay?â
i nod, because i donât trust my voice. âyeah. okay.â
he takes my hand again before we head back toward the noise.
inside, the cabin feels louder than before, like someone turned the volume up just to mess with my head. bodies press in, lights blur, the floor vibrates from the bass. iâm suddenly overly aware of how flushed my skin is, how raw the inside of my chest feels.
cadence spots us immediately. sheâs perched on a built-in bench with a half-finished drink, cheeks pink, hair frizzing around her head like a blonde halo.
âthere you are,â she says, eyes narrowing with surgical precision. âwhat were you doing?â
her gaze flicks from my face to johnnyâs, then down to our still-linked hands.
shit.
johnny notices at the same time i do. he lets go of me like the contact burned, shoving his hand into his pocket so fast it would be funny if my heart wasnât trying to burst through my ribs.
âair,â he says. âshe needed air.â
âi did,â i echo, too quickly.
cadenceâs mouth curves. not a smile. a knowing. mirren, beside her, is trying very hard to pretend she isnât watching, eyes darting between us like itâs the finale of her favorite show.
gat appears with a bottle in his hand and clocked-in amusement on his face. âyou two look like you saw a ghost,â he says. âor committed a crime. which one should i congratulate you on?â
âshut up,â johnny mutters.
âthatâs not a denial,â gat points out mildly.
âweâre just hot,â i say, fanning myself with one hand. my voice sounds thin. âthe air. inside. you know.â
âsure,â cadence says, dragging the word out. âthe air.â
she knocks her shoulder into mine so lightly no one else would notice. her eyes say: tell me everything later.
âwe should head back soon,â mirren says, glancing at the slim watch on her wrist. âif the littles are still playing monopoly, it means the aunties are still drinking. we have a tiny window before anyone thinks to check bedtimes.â
for once, iâm grateful for her practicality.
âyeah,â johnny says immediately. âletâs go.â
we filter out together, pushed along by the tide of sweaty, summer-slicked bodies. someone calls johnnyâs name; another guy tries to tug cadence back for one more dance. she laughs, half-tempted, but gat loops an arm around her waist and steers her toward the stairs.
johnnyâs hand finds the small of my back again as we move, a steady pressure that shouldnât feel like anything more than balanceâbut it feels like everything.
the night hits harder the second weâre off the boat. the air is cooler here, away from all that heat and sound, laced with the briny tang of the ocean and the faint chemical sharpness of gasoline.
we climb back into the smaller boat, the five of us arranging ourselves in the worn leather seats. cadence and mirren sit opposite us, their bare knees glowing in the low light. gat takes the end. johnny drops into the spot beside me.
our thighs press together. thereâs nowhere else for them to go.
the kid piloting the boatâa lanky boy from some other rich family whose name i canât rememberâstarts the motor. it sputters, then roars to life, and we lurch forward, slicing through the dark water.
the island glows ahead of us in scattered pockets: porch lights, the distant warm rectangles of windows, the faint glimmer of stars above everything.
spray kicks up, cool against my shins. i shiver.
johnny notices instantly. he shifts without thinking, tucking me closer to his side, arm settling along the back of the seat behind me. his fingers brush my shoulder, then rest there, steady and warm.
i lean into him because itâs freezing, because weâve always shared warmth like this, because i need something solid in a night that suddenly feels like itâs made of nothing but maybes.
cadence watches us like sheâs at the theater. mirren bites her lip to hide her smile. gat looks quietly smug.
âgood party,â cadence says into the wind.
âgreat party,â gat adds.
âmm,â mirren hums. âsome of us seemed to enjoy it more than others.â
johnnyâs fingers flex on my shoulder. âwhatâs that supposed to mean?â
i fix my eyes on the approaching dock, cheeks hot, heart pounding in a way that has nothing to do with the speed of the boat.
we bump gently against the wood. the pilot ties us off. the liars climb out one by one, shoes scraping, wood creaking under our collective weight.
johnny steps onto the dock and turns immediately, offering his hand to help me up.
i donât need it. not really. the dockâs low, the movement familiar, something iâve done every summer since i knew how to walk.
but i take his hand anyway.
his grip is firm, grounding. he pulls me up, just a little too close, and for one suspended second iâm pressed against him on the creaking dock, his hand on my waist, my breath mingling with his.
cadence clears her throat pointedly. âare we⊠staying here? or are we going to pretend to be responsible and go to bed?â
âbed,â mirren decides. âbefore mom comes hunting for me with a flashlight.â
we start up the path together, the dock shrinking behind us. the night wraps around usâcrickets humming, leaves whispering overhead, the oceanâs constant hush on our left.
cadence and mirren drift ahead, talking in low, excited voices. gat hangs back a little to walk with them, his arm brushing cadenceâs.
it leaves me and johnny in the middle. not quite alone, not quite chaperoned.
his hand brushes mine once. twice. a third time.
the fourth time, he just takes it.
no announcement. no joke. his fingers simply curl around mine, like theyâve been doing this all along and we were the last to realize.
i glance up at him. his eyes are on the path, jaw set, expression carefully neutral. but his thumb is stroking the back of my hand in small, distracted arcs, like he doesnât even know heâs doing it.
my chest feels too full. âjohnny,â i say quietly, so the others wonât hear.
âyeah?â
âabout earlierâŠâ
he looks at me then,, and i see all of it againâthe almost-kiss, the panic, the want, the years of friendship straining at the seams.
âlater,â he says softly. âplease.â
i nod, even though the word tightens something inside me. âokay.â
âi justâŠâ his hand squeezes mine. âi donât wanna screw this up by saying it wrong in the middle of a path with my cousins and basically my brother three feet away.â
a short laugh escapes me. âfair point.â
we walk a few more steps before he slowsâjust barelyâlike a thought hits him sideways.
âbut⊠you were going to say yes.â
i blink. âto what?â
he looks at me like he canât believe iâm making him say it aloud.
âto staying with me tonight.â
my breath catches. the world seems to tilt againâdock lights behind us, trees whispering overhead, cadence and mirren still chattering somewhere ahead.
i swallow. âyeah. i was.â
johnnyâs shoulders drop, tension bleeding out of him. he looks relieved. grateful. a little wrecked.
âgood,â he murmurs. âbecause i still want that.â
heat crawls up my neck.
âokay,â i whisper.
his thumb sweeps over my knuckles in one slow, absent-minded stroke. âwe can talk there. about everything.â
âyeah,â i say. âyeah. that makes sense.â
and it does. somehow it makes more sense than talking tomorrow, or pretending nothing happened, or letting the moment fade.
cadence, mirren, and gat split off toward windemere, cuddledown, and red gate first, still buzzing, still whispering. johnny and i stop at the fork.
âyou need a change of clothes,â he says, like heâs offering an excuse to himself as much as to me.
âyeah,â i say softly. âiâll grab something and change there."
we slip back toward clairmontâquiet, careful, knowing exactly which porch boards to avoid. the front windows glow warm; tipperâs shadow passes in the sitting room, but she doesnât notice us.
johnny waits at the bottom of the stairs while i creep up, heart hammering, feet silent on the worn wood. my room smells like lavender and ocean still clinging to my skin.
i grab a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts. my face is hot in the mirrorâeyes bright, lips swollen from all the almost-kisses that never landed.
when i slip back down, johnnyâs leaning on the banister, hands in his pockets, hair a little messy from the wind. he looks up and the smallest smile tilts his mouth.
âready?â
i nod.
the walk to red gate is quiet but charged, like every step is pulling something tighter between us. the air is warm, crickets humming loud and steady.
when we reach the porch, the house is mostly dark. only the kitchen nightlight glows.
âmom and ed went out,â he murmurs. âwillâs asleep. gatâs probably pretending not to wait to interrogate us.â
i laugh softly. âweâll avoid him.â
johnny leads me upstairs by memory alone, stepping lightly on the boards that squeak. his room is the same as alwaysâsmells like salt and laundry detergent and something warm and boy.
but itâs also not the same. not with the way he closes the door gently behind us. not with the way he just looks at me for a second, like heâs recalibrating himself.
âhey,â he says quietly, almost nervously.
âhey,â i whisper back.
he sits on the edge of the bed, legs spread, hands clasped loosely between his knees. a posture iâve seen a thousand timesâafter beach days, after bonfires, after stupid fights with gatâbut tonight itâs different.
tonight heâs not just my best friend. heâs someone who almost kissed me. someone who asked me to stay with him.
i step closer, my bare thighs brushing the hem of his shorts as i stand between his knees.
his breath stutters.
âyou sure youâre okay with⊠this?â he asks.
âjohnny,â i say, âi want to talk. and i want to stay. iâm here, arenât i?â
his eyes soften so much it hurts. he reaches out slowly, like testing gravity, and his hands settle warm and sure on my hips.
my pulse kicks.
âokay,â he murmurs. âthen come here.â
he tugs me gently into his lapânot onto his knees, not perched, but flush against him. my legs fall to either side of his hips automatically. the skirt rides up just a little. his hands go still on my waist, like he realizes exactly how close we are.
my hands land on his shoulders. they feel solid, sun-warm, familiar and entirely new.
âwe donât have to start with heavy stuff,â he says quietly. âwe can just be here. like this.â
âiâve been thinking about earlier,â i whisper.
his jaw flexes. âme too.â
âyou almost kissed me.â
âyeah,â he says, voice low. âi did.â
âand you want to.â
he breathes out shakily. âgod, yes.â
the silence around us goes molten.
i lean forward slightly. âso maybe⊠you should.â
johnny looks at me like i just cracked open the sky.
his hands slide up from my hips to my ribs, thumbs brushing the underside of my topâbarely touching, barely not. his eyes flick to my mouth. his breath trembles.
âif i kiss you,â he says, voice rough, âiâm not stopping at one.â
heat coils low in my stomach. âiâm not asking for one.â
that breaks him.
he closes the distance in a heartbeatâhis mouth crashing into mine with a force that makes a tiny, breathless sound slip from my throat. his hands grip my waist, pulling me impossibly closer, his fingers digging in like heâs been holding back for years.
the kiss is not soft. not friendly. itâs hungry.
his lips move against mine like heâs memorizing every angle, every sound i make. i fist my hands in his shirt, dragging him closer until thereâs no space left between us. the boat, the music, the earlier hesitationâeverything snaps into this single, electric point where nothing exists but heat and want and the way heâs kissing me like heâll die if he stops.
i pull back for half a secondâjust long enough to breathe against his mouth.
âyouâre killing me,â he mutters.
âyou started it,â i whisper back.
he lets out a broken laugh and kisses me again, deeper this time, his tongue brushing mine, slow and devastating. my whole body lights up.
my hips shift without meaning toâjust a littleâand his breath catches hard, hands tightening on my waist in a way that makes my pulse crash.
âcareful,â he murmurs against my lips, in a way that makes me come completely undone. âiâm barely holding it together.â
âdonât,â i breathe.
his answer is a low groan pulled straight from his chest, and he crushes me to him again, mouth hot, desperate, trailing down to my jaw, then my throat. he kisses the hinge of my jaw, the soft skin beneath my ear, each touch sending sparks through me.
my fingers slide into his hairâdamp from sweat and ocean airâand he shivers.
âjohnny,â i whisper, breathless.
he lifts his head, eyes dark, pupils blown wide.
âsay it again.â
âjohnny.â
he kisses me so hard it steals the air from my lungs.
weâre both panting now, chests rising and falling, lips swollen, the air thick with heat and something dangerous and sweet. his hands slide up my sides, brushing the bare skin just under my top, stopping only because he has to.
âwe should slow down,â he says abruptly, forehead pressed to mine, voice wrecked. âbefore i do something weâre not ready for.â
i swallow, dizzy. âiâm ready for so much more than this.â
his breath hitches violently.
âdonât say things like that unless you mean them.â
âi mean every word.â i lift my hand to his jaw, gliding my fingers across the stubble.
his grip on my waist tightens. i can feel the war inside himâthe want, the caution, the history, the fact that iâm his best friend and heâs terrified of crossing a line we canât uncross.
âthen,â he whispers, âweâll figure out where that line is. together.â
he kisses me againâslow this time, but somehow even hotterâbefore pulling me into his chest, holding me there like heâs afraid iâll vanish if he lets go.
i feel his heartbeat against my cheekâfast, matching mine.
âyouâre staying,â he says softly. âright?â
i curl closer. âyeah. iâm staying.â
his arms wrap all the way around me, one under my shoulders, one banded across my lower back. i feel contained in the best way possible. like the walls of his room and the hum of the fan and the faint salt in the air all fold inward until thereâs just this: his body under mine, his heartbeat against my cheek, his breath ruffling my hair.
for a second, we donât move. donât talk. we just breathe.
my pulse eventually stops sprinting long enough for my brain to catch up. iâm in johnnyâs lap. his shirt is wrinkled in my fists. my skirt is hitched halfway up my thighs. my lips feel a little swollen, and my chest is still catching up to the fact that weâre not kissing anymore.
âwe really just did that,â i mumble into him.
i feel the laugh rumble through his chest before i hear it. âyeah,â he says. âwe did.â
âand everything didnât explode.â
âgive it time,â he deadpans.
i swat his shoulder without lifting my head. âshut up.â
âyou love me.â
it slips out of him, easy and familiar, in the way weâve always said itâjoking and casual and not like a confession at all. i freeze for half a heartbeat anyway.
i tilt my head back to look at him. âyeah,â i say. âi do.â
his face changes. just a little. like the same words hit differently now.
he raises a hand, pushing hair back from my face, fingers lingering at my temple. âare you okay?â he asks. âlike, seriously. for real. no faking.â
my body is buzzing, but itâs not panic. itâs heat and adrenaline and the kind of electric awareness that feels almost like standing in the ocean with waves hitting your knees.
my mindâs a messâbut itâs not a bad mess. just crowded. full of ten summers and one night colliding.
my heartâŠyeah. thatâs new. thatâs loud. thatâs his.
âiâm okay,â i say. âiâm really okay.â
some of the tightness leaves his eyes. âgood. because if you werenât, iâd march you back to clairmont right now and sleep on the floor in your room just to make sure you didnât hate me in the morning.â
âyouâd give up your bed for me?â
âiâd give up my spine for you,â he says. âdo you know how many times iâve carried you off that stupid dock when you pretended you âcouldnât walkâ?â
i laugh, shoulders loosening. âi was eight.â
âyou were lazy!"
âyou liked it,â i shoot back.
his mouth curves. âyeah,â he admits. âi did.â
the joking takes the edge off. softens everything that was sharp and terrifying about this. i feel it in my muscles, in the way my body stops bracing for impact and starts justâŠsettling.
âso,â i say. âbest friend status still intact?â
he gives me this lookâfond and a little incredulous. âyou really think kissing you would make me less your best friend?â
âi donât know.â i twist a wrinkle into his shirt. âiâve never made out with my best friend before.â
his grin flashes, bright and stupid. âme neither.â
we stare at each other for a second. it hits at the same time: weâre each otherâs first for this. not first kiss. not first crush. but first time it actually means something this big. this dangerous.
my chest squeezes.
i slide off his lap enough to sit beside him on the bed, backs against the headboard, shoulders touching. he immediately hooks an arm around me and pulls me into his side like he canât help it. his fingers trace idle, absent patterns on my bare knee.
âso,â he says, a little quieter now. âwhen did it change? for you.â
i stare at his hand moving over my skin. âdo you want the embarrassing answer or the normal one?â
âobviously the embarrassing one.â
âyouâre insufferable,â i mutter.
âand yet, here you are.â
i sigh. âfine. um. last summer, maybe? a little before that. you got taller, and your voice did that weird drop thing, and suddenly watching you dive off the dock felt illegal.â
he chokes on a laugh. âillegal?â
âyeah. like i needed parental supervision.â
âthatâs so dramatic.â
âyouâre a sinclair,â i say. âdramatic is genetic.â
he nudges my shoulder with his. âokay, my turn.â
i hold my breath.
âyou remember summer fourteen?â he asks. âwhen you cut your knee open on the rocks.â
âyeah,â i say slowly. âyou freaked out like iâd been shot.â
âyou were bleeding everywhere,â he protests. âand you refused to cry. you just sat there with your teeth clenched and told me not to be stupid while i practically fainted.â
i smile faintly at the memory. âyou were very pale.â
âi still have nightmares,â he says. âbutâŠthat was when it hit me you werenât just the kid i ran around with. you wereâŠyou. and if anything actually happened to you, iâd lose my damn mind.â
my heartbeat stutters.
âand then,â he adds, quieter, âyou came back the next summer and you had this⊠lip gloss. and you started doing this thing with your hair. and all the older guys at the vineyard started looking at you.â
his jaw ticks.
âjohnnyââ
âand i thought,â he barrels on, âoh. okay. cool. iâm in trouble.â
i donât realize iâve reached for his hand until my fingers lace with his. âyou didnât say anything.â
âyou didnât either.â
âi didnât want to ruin our friendship.â
âlike i said,â he murmurs, squeezing my hand, âwe both get a say.â
we fall quiet again. the good kind. the kind where the silence feels full instead of empty.
outside, the house creaks softly, settling. i can hear willâs distant snore through the wall, the low murmur of the ocean if i really listen. inside, the only sounds are our breathing and the faint whir of the fan.
âsoâŠwhat now?â i ask eventually.
he thinks about it. really thinks. i can feel it in the way his thumb slows over my skin.
ânow,â he says, âwe keep being us. we just stop pretending itâs not more.â
my throat feels tight. âis that allowed?â
âiâm making it allowed,â he says. ânew beechwood law. johnny sinclair and y/n are stupid in love and no one else gets to weigh in.â
the words land in my chest like a stone dropped into deep water. stupid in love. he said it like a joke, but his voice shook.
âsay it again,â i manage.
he turns his head to look at me, eyes searching my face. âweâre stupid in love?â
âno,â i say, heart hammering. âmy name. with yours.â
his mouth curves slow. âjohnny and y/n,â he says, like heâs trying it on. ây/n and johnny. we kind of sound right, donât we?â
âwe always did,â i whisper.
he leans over and kisses me again. this one is slower, less frantic, but somehow more intense because thereâs nothing weâre hiding from now. his hand cradles the back of my neck, thumb brushing the fine hairs there, pulling me deeper.
i melt into it, fingers sliding up into his hair, tugging just enough to make him make a quiet, wrecked sound in his throat. he shifts, turning more toward me, tugging me sideways until iâm half-under him, half-wrapped around him, the mattress dipping with our combined weight.
it doesnât go further than kissingâour clothes stay on, our hands mostly respectfulâbut thereâs no mistaking what it is anymore.
every graze of his mouth, every drag of his lips, every little hitch of breath is weighted. i can feel the edges of the line weâre not ready to cross yet, bright and humming between us. we press up against it and then back away, a careful, exquisite kind of torture.
when we finally pull apart, both of us are breathing hard. my lips feel wrecked in the best way. his hair is a mess. his eyes are soft and dark and a little dazed.
âwe should actually sleep,â he says, voice rough. âweâre gonna get annihilated at breakfast if we look like this.â
âwe donât look like anything,â i lie.
he snorts. âyou have my mouth on your mouth, like, visibly.â
âyou donât look much better,â i shoot back.
âgood,â he says. âmatching.â
we shuffle around until weâre lying down properlyâme on my side, him behind me, his arm slung over my waist. it feels weird for a second, because weâve done this before on couches and in hammocks and on beach towels, but itâs never been like this. never with this much humming underneath.
johnny noses into my hair, breath warm against the back of my neck. âyou okay?â he asks again, softer now, sleepier.
âyeah,â i say. âare you?â
âbest iâve ever been,â he says. thereâs no hesitation.
my eyes sting suddenly, out of nowhere. not in a bad way. in a too-much, too-full way.
âjohnny?â
âmm?â
âif we mess up,â i say quietly, âif it gets hard or weird or scaryâŠpromise weâll still try to talk. not just run.â
he tightens his arm around me. âi promise,â he says. âeven if i have to chase you across the island and drag you back by your ridiculous tiny shirt.â
i snort. âyou like my ridiculous tiny shirt.â
âyeah,â he says into my hair. âi really do.â
silence settles over us, heavier this time. my body relaxes one muscle at a time, sinking into the mattress, into his hold, into the unfamiliar but right feeling of belonging here on purpose, not just by tradition.
âhey, y/n?â he murmurs, voice drifting toward sleep.
âyeah?â
âif tipper asks, iâm telling her you stole my bed.â
âi did steal your bed.â
âand my heart,â he says, barely audible.
i turn my head just enough to see him over my shoulder. his eyes are closed, lashes dark against his cheeks, mouth curved into the faintest smile.
âyouâre so cheesy,â i whisper.
âyou love it,â he says automatically.
and heâs right.
i close my eyes, listening to the ocean outside and his breathing behind me, the two sounds weaving together. for the first time in a long time, the future doesnât feel like a place far away from beechwood. it feels like it might actually fit us. like we might get to carry this off the island for once.
but thatâs a later problem.
right now, thereâs this bed, and this boy, and this summer.
and as i drift toward sleep with johnnyâs arm heavy over my waist and his promise warm in my chest, one thought settles in, sure and steady: iâm exactly where iâm supposed to be.
touch-starved!johnny sinclair who pretends heâs not. who jokes, who grins, who sprawls out like he doesnât need anyone...but somehow heâs always finding his way back to you.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who drapes himself over you without thinking. an arm around your shoulders, his head dropping into the crook of your neck, fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes on your arm. if you shift away, even just a little, he notices immediately, but doesnât say anything. he just looks at you, soft and a little unsure, like did i do something wrong?
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who sleeps better when youâre there. tangled legs, your hand on his chest, his breathing finally evening out. if you try to leave the bed first, he tightens his grip, half-asleep, murmuring your name like itâs instinct.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who always wants skin-to-skin contact. knees pressed together under the table. your feet on his lap. your fingers hooked through his belt loop. he doesnât care whoâs watching, he just needs to feel you there.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who melts when you initiate it. you lace your fingers with his? he freezes for half a second, then squeezes back like heâs afraid youâll disappear. you kiss his cheek? his smile goes soft and private, like the worldâs just narrowed down to the two of you.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who gets quiet when you hold his face in your hands. as much as he needs it, he's not used to this affection. his childhood was yelling matches and love shown through tight smiles and fake words. you entering his life shattered all that. suddenly his eyes are dropping, forehead resting against yours. no more jokes. no more bravado. just a boy who doesnât know how to ask for comfort...but always takes it when you give it.
touch-starved!johnny sinclair who acts casual about it, but always finds an excuse to touch you. âcâmere, itâs cold,â even when itâs not. âno space, sit here,â patting the space between his legs. he frames it like convenience, like habitânever like need.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who presses kisses into your hair, your temple, your shoulder. soft, absentminded, almost unconscious. he doesn't even realize he does it. he's not trying to start anything, he's just grounding himself.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who lets you trace the scars and little marks on his skin. he doesnât look at you while you do it, but his breathing goes slow and deep, like heâs finally safe enough to exist in his own body.
touch-starved! johnny sinclair who never pushes, never demands. he just lingers. just stays close. just hopes you wonât pull away. and when you donâtâwhen you pull him closer insteadâhe holds on like heâs been waiting his whole life for someone to do exactly that.
guys im alive. shocker! i havent posted in forever bc of winter travels but im so back (lets see how long this lasts).
content : fluffy, fluff, fluff, reader and johnny are sleeping together, established relationship, relationship is fairly new (not mentioned), reader has hair, cuddling !
summary : literally justreader and johnny getting out of bed in the morningâor lack thereof
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
it had been at least four hours since youâd both woken up for the first time at 7 a.m.
youâd whispered âgood morningâsâ to one and other, smiling and even a little shy in that first-thing-in-the-morning way. then youâd tucked your head into his chest, draped your leg back over his hip and weaved your fingers through his hair.
heâd woken up first that timeâbarely seconds before you had, he watched you for a couple seconds before you started stirring, then you regained your senses that sleep had numbed, smelt his weird, expensive all in one shampoo, that supposedly smelt like coconut before heâd swam and surfed too much and it stared smelling like salt, sea and something else that you guessed was the scent of coconut fighting to not be rid of, you felt his arms, one slung over your waist lazily, his hand tucked just under the curve of your ribs, thumb rubbing soft circles into your skin, his other arm under you, being squashed by your weight for so long that having a blood supply may as well have been considered a luxury than a necessity, especially since he swears heâd rather have it fall off before moving it.
lastly, you heard his breathing, even and familiar and a little faster than you knew it to sound when he was asleep.
so, considering all of those things, you opened your eyes and there he was, a small smile on his lips, eyes half lidded, hair a tousled mess, eyebrows raising a little when his eyes met yours, like heâd wanted you to sleep forever and a little longer.
you whispered, âmorning,â and so did he. you said you felt gross, he told you that you looked perfect. you called him a lair. he called himself your boyfriend.
you smiled and scrunched your nose, before nestling your head into his chest. he kissed your hair and there was a little pillow talk, until your breathing fell back into that tired rhythm and so did his.
the next time, you woke up first and it was already a quarter past nine.
his lips were slightly parted, releasing small puffs of air every so often, a few damaged, bleached blonde stands of his hair fell onto his forehead, his arm still tight around your middle like he was afraid youâd take off at any given momentâeven in his sleep.
your fingers parted through his hair, pushing back the hair that lay across his forehead, brushing it back, letting your finger nails gently scrape against his scalp in the way you knew heâd always loved so much.
then his breathing caught and his mouth closedâhe waited a couple seconds, as if to see if youâd stop if he shifted, or woke up too fastâthen his lips curled into a grinâa pleased, content grin. his eyes flickered open and met yours immediately.
he told you that it was considered creepy to watch people whilst they sleep. you denied all charges and claimed that he snoredâhe did a little. he called you a liar. you made ridiculous snorting noises that were supposed to mimic his snoring and called him a tractor.
he was adamant that you were lying. you teased him and he called you mean. you countered him by reminding him that he loved you. he agreed, without a second thought, pulled you back in and pressed dozens of kisses to your forehead.
you melted back into him instantly, your leg wrapping back over his hip, your foot pressing against the back of his thigh, letting out a little sigh as you did so. his head nudged its way into the crook of your neck, taking advantage of your hair laying against it, using it as a pillow and taking in the soft smell that he loved so much.
he suggested that the two of you stay like that all day and as much as you wanted to, you refused and said you had to be real people and that others would notice if the two of you disappeared all day. he told you that the world could survive without you guys for one day.
you called him clingy, although you were already pushing your arm up through the duvet to let your fingers drag through his hair like theyâd never left. he called himself your boyfriend, yet again and then you announced that youâd both only stay in bed like that for five more minutes.
five minutes became ten and ten became fifteen then youâd both drifted back off to sleepâuntil it was just a couple minutes shy of eleven a.m and of course, he woke up firstâafter you explicitly told him not to let you sleep in all day.
he weighed out his options : wake you right then and face your fake-mad attitude, let you sleep for longer and face your real mad attitude or pretend that he was also asleep and let nature take its own course.
as tempting as the last option was, he knew he should wake you up.
so he did, and to his surprise you were hardly mad. all he got was a groan, but you were just as tired as him and you couldnât be mad at him right after waking up, not when he already looked like he was bracing himself.
when you finally stared sitting up to push yourself out of bed to make yourself presentable, his arms tightened around your waist, keeping you stuck in place. you accused him of wanting you to look like a sleepy mess all day. he told you that that wasnât true at all and the you looked cute that way anyways.
after johnny failed miserably at trying to convince you that you guys laying in bed for at least three days was âself careâ, and people did it all the time, you managed to peel his arm off of you and slip out from under him.
he whined and called you a monster. you told him youâd take that over being lazy. he groaned.
when convincing him to get up wasnât enough, you pressed the tiniest, quickest, barely-there kiss to his lips and told him he wasnât getting anymore if he didnât get up and brush his teeth.
he got up and stayed wrapped around you like a koala whilst you brushed your own teeth and washed your face, trying to occupy him with one hand combing through his hair as you sorted yourself out, his head stuffed in the curve of your neck.
you smiled as johnny heaved, rolling his eyes at the sound of gat and mirren laughing. you were currently in your third round of tennis with johnny, and youâve both won a game each. âarenât you supposed to be a pro athlete?â mirren called out to johnny, a smirk playing on her face as the others chuckled.
he scoffed, catching a ball cadence bounced to him. âyou were way worse last summer. something mustâve happened to me in the off season.â he said, bouncing the tennis ball between his fingers as you both readied yourselves. âdonât be coy, johnny.â you shouted over the net. âiâve been practicing.â
the ball was served, and by the end of your fourth set you both had an equal amount of sets won, so whoever won the next game would win.
âi canât believe youâre actually in a tie right now. i mean, iâve only won against you like⊠three times!â gat exclaimed, tossing his hands up in the air from the sideline. âis that something against me, gatwick?â you rose a brow, shooting the dark haired boy a challenging look.
âeyes on the ball, y/n!â johnny yelled.
you faced him again, lightly throwing the yellow ball into the air and hitting it with your racket. it bounced back and forth between you, both you and johnny meeting the serves thrown at you. sun glistened off your sweat covered skin in the heat of the afternoon, playing with johnny would wear anybody out. each swing and hit you made ached your wrists, and you were glad this was match point.
a relieved sigh escaped your lips when johnny missed, and you could practically feel your legs buckle from underneath you in relief. âfuck!â johnny jogged in circles to calm himself, tousling his hair doing so. you almost collapsed onto the ground, sprawling out on the tennis court floor and resting your head on your hands.
cadence and mirren clapped from their distance, cheering you on while gat shook his head in disbelief. youâre eyes were closed as you caught your breath, shielding your pupils from the sun beams. that was until a dark shadow loomed over you. johnny.
he stuck his hands out to help you up, already composed from his past sporting years. âyouâve gotten - youâve gotten good.â he said half arsedly with a smirk on face, like he didnât want to admit it but knew better. you took his hand and smiled, hoisting your body up.
âi guess those lessons you gave me came in handy.â
âyeah, i guess they did.â
âget off the court and stop flirting!â
you both looked to the liars on the side, impatiently throwing their hands up and laughing. you laughed with them and wrapped your hand around johnnyâs wrist to pull him off the court. you five giggled as you raced back to cuddledown, where you had the house to yourselves after bess and the twins moved into clairmont with harris and tipper.
mirren had even gone as far as âredecoratingâ or simply moving the furniture around, taking the rugs out and hanging loads of childrenâs drawings on the walls from the twins old rooms.
in the living room, johnny has claimed the sofa as âhis throneâ and doesnât let anyone on it when heâs sat on it. mirren likes the floor, so sheâs often found with her back against the couch and her knees propped up when watching television. this is also where she resides to after you all make it back to cuddledown.
cadence and gat gather in the kitchen, finally making a start on the fruit smoothies theyâve been talking about making since the start of the summer. johnny is first upstairs, meaning he gets first shower - as none of the others have a water pressure as great as the master bedrooms en suite.
you relax on the couch, something that doesnât happen often with johnnyâs rules. âhey gat?â you call towards the kitchen, not taking your eyes off the âhousewives of beverly hillsâ that mirren has on. âyeah?â he responds.
âdo you have my on clouds?â
âyeah, theyâre under johnnyâs bed in his room.â
johnnyâs room, refers to the guest bedroom the blonde boy stays in when heâs too tired to walk back to red gate with gat. âand why would they be in there?â you question suspiciously. âbecause i put them there? so the dogs couldnât get them?â he states as if itâs obvious. âright.â you reply.
an over dramatic sigh leaves your mouth when you get up off the sofa, stretching slowly as you walk toward the stairs. your steps are quiet on the carpet, even when you pick up the pace when you near the top.
johnnyâs room isnât hard to find. itâs one youâve all hung around in when the downstairs gets too boring and youâd rather lie on a bed over a couch. you drop to your hands and knees to look under his bed, hoping to not find anything other than your shoes. you spot them and go to reach out until a voice from behind startles you.
ânice view.â
the shoes are just barely in your grasp, and you turn to him. the only thing he has on is a stupid towel wrapped around his waist, hung lowly with his loose grip as he stares at your ass in that tennis skirt youâve suddenly grown insecure about. âlike what you see?â you say in a fake teasing tone, tilting your head as you stand properly.
he smirks. âyou definitely do anyway.â he wasnât wrong, but but it wasnât like youâd let him know that. âwell i mean youâre no ryan gosling, but sure.â he scoffs at your witty remark.
âwanna be the joi to my officer k?â
âme? all sweaty and dirty? you fucking wish sinclair.â
you smirked and scoffed at him, brushing shoulders as you walked passed, holding your shoes tightly as you went down the hall to leave them at the door.
mirren had made her way to the kitchen with cadence and gat, who all seemed to be talking enthusiastically about something. ây/n! come here we wanna talk to you.â mirren calls, and you drop your shoes on the shoe rack at the front door.
âyeah?â you say once you lean against the countertop, picking at the bowl of blueberries on the table. âwe wanna have a party. here. when the others go to marthaâs vineyard for the weekend.â the sheffield says, and cadence nods along.
you shrug your shoulders and a dismissive chuckle leaves your mouth. âokay, itâs not my house so i donât mind.â gat puts his hand up, gesturing to you as he swallows a mouthful of his smoothie. âthatâs what i said! i told you we wonât care since we donât own this island.â
cadence scoffs, rolling her eyes humorously. âweâve said it thousands of times, you guys have every right to be here as much as we do.â both you and gat share a knowledgeable look. âstill feels like weâre intruding though.â
âwhoâs intruding?â johnny questions loudly, walking into the kitchen with bounce in his step.
the blonde boy strides over to the blender, pouring himself a very large glass of smoothie before rummaging through the freezer for ice cubes, and you all watch in silence as he does so, waiting for him to quiet. he stops, dropping three pieces of ice into the glass and looking at you all expectantly, taking an obnoxiously loud gulp.
âweâre going to have a party when the family goes to the vineyard for the weekend.â cadence begins. âdo you have any objections?â he furrows his brows, and then points to the floor. âhere? in cuddledown?â he asks, you all nod.
he shakes his head, as though itâs a stupid question. âno i donât care. as long as red gate is locked.â you roll your eyes at his selfishness. classic johnny.
mirren puts her hands in the air, a smile gracing her face. âalright then! summer party on the 28th!â she says, and you all cheer and whoop in response. âwe can even go into town and get real party snacks and shit.â johnny nods at your words, taking another sip of his drink. âiâm absolutely choosing what we get.â
âso y/n and johnny will get the boat into town and sort out whatever we need?â cadence asks.
âsure. weâll even get a keg.â
âwait, seriously?â
âi mean why not? thereâs new staff this year because the old ones graduated or whatever, so we mightnât need id.â
âsweet.â
next
authors note!! first real chapter posted and i didnât take a week to upload for once. i think iâve finally figured out the whole plot of this story so ill actually know what iâm writing for once instead of typing and hoping for the best. this story has also been posted to my wattpad so please check it out over there too! my user is winterslve again, and you can look at my other fic in works on there that i probably wonât post here.
also debating on making an erik sundqvist fic? idk if i will though because my plans to see the movie have fallen through but i might see it next week, would you guys read it?
thank you so much on the love for this story i appreciate it so much!! đ«¶