#jollykrysink

[j0llyk]

When thy is almost there- chaos comes without invitation,

the body sinks back where it fought to be not there.

Exhausted-is thy selfish to be how I am-isolated thyself becasue getting close seem to be too much or embarrassing to be.

Hard to fight to go up when I have tried so hard in the beginning therefore in the end I’m where I started. The ace that haunt me until over and over

“Do you deserve the good things?” Which whispers when I am trying or when I am low with sorrow and chaos-apparently I am weak.

-j0llyk

[j0llyk]

quite bird

One day, she will go unexpectedly or by will. just another crumbling, complaining, self-centered, sad, depressed girl who is slowly letting herself go~ They are quick to listen, yet they are quick to speak like a hero. It will be a party for everyone There is no more sadness or depression, and they can keep their reputation of happiness instead of sadness. The sadness of depression will be a quiet bird

_J.K

[j0llyk]

when....

It hurts when, I try to speak-hurts when its time to speak. why is it difficult then it was before- the day carries on while my whole body wants to stop as it been tossed left and right with grief, anger, regret, shame, questions… thinking it was an ending, each time it stops just for it run up again for the day feels like years just for me to open my eyes to see it has been 2 mins… the string in the heart pinches as it snaps apart lungs deflated as a balloon sinking into the sea legs shakes like an earthquake with each steps stiff and soggy as a board that soaked up on shore from the sea before I thought I was done experiencing this at least for another seven years Life has its plans whaling within- cried a bit outside. J.K

[j0llyk]

white as snow Often, the blizzard rolls in where I thought I could breathe with the breeze aimlessly walking on white ground, cold to the touch of being lost in snow stiff as ice on a lake where it breaks with unexpected cracks that should be expected unknowingly, it will break for disaster or melt through steadily… The question is, where is she…. where the cold never ends or where seasons change? a lot to be told yet, so little to see for what she shows J.K

[j0llyk]

are you real?

heart paces when i don't pace outside it races when i am still in peace

the peace i once wanted to accept now i am afraid of it because the remembrance of it i once enjoyed it crumbled like a cookie that wasn't sealed.

felt like a fish that been baited. thinking it was peace with no strings attached i was incorrect..

_J.k

[j0llyk]

puppet

I'm not heroic I'm exhausted

I'm an example not a product

I am a person not robotic If I am just an object in a show and tell to the whole world?

Leave me alone in the lost and found.

J.k

[j0llyk]

the science of fucking off

Isolation is a vacation. scientists, psychologists, therapists say it’s dangerous. fact-check me, because I don’t fucking know.

in the end, I’m living without chaos — manipulation, gaslighting, fear, yelling.

mastering every person’s steps just so I can pretend to sleep (sorry).

I’m just fucking tired.

pardon me — I’m going to fuck off to where I’m not excluded: my bed, my room, my house.

peace <3

with no one hovering over my fucking back.

j.k

[j0llyk]

Odd but True

~Wednesday Letter~

Death is loud It is not quite It is sneaky It is not quick It takes time However, time passed quickly like the wind different circumstances In the end, it's the same_ Death flows in many ways that we cannot count.

_J.k