*coughs* I just had a brush of my teeth and *yawns* I feel really rude for just doing both of those thing on record. Eitherway, I’ve decided to continue these things. To know exactly what I feel during a period of time and reassure that my thoughts are in sync of what I feel.
There are some recordings that I made him listen, but my personal ones are the ones I keep on repeat whenever. It’s surprisingly a wonderful way when sometimes he doesn’t answer my calls but want to talk on the phone.
But it also makes me miss him more.
I’m currently trying to fix my hair before I come out of the lavatory for my shifting hours again. It’s going to be in 15 minutes, so let’s spare some time since no one’s outside of the sleeping lounge.
*yawns longer and sound of door knob being opened*
Over a few nights ago, when I got home from work he was once again awake, going down the stairs with his dog when he saw me enter the house.
We looked at one another, and I know we’ve been longing for one another.
He greeted me with the warmest hug, tell me a couple of things I missed and started clinging on me until we found ourselves on our couch with some rum and snacks from the fridge.
Probably should go grocery shopping before I get home this week.
The most important thing he told me was how he’s been preparing for an album for his activities as a part time musician. Fortunately, his listeners started to form gatherings which became an outlet. That transpired the notion, since that day when he sang for me when I called on the show.
Everyone likes his comforting voice on the radio, what more him singing?
I couldn’t be prouder.
All I want is for him to do what he thinks is best and shall the fruits bear. Even so, he vocally stated that he wanted my support despite I already do that unconditionally.
He could sing to me in the kitchen while cooking pancakes, playing the piano, gardening, feeding our pets, in times we linger with one another and to sleep sometimes. And to share his precious talent to other people gradually, as this is his aspiration, I’ve been the witness of it. And will be once it finally happens.
Cause this has been something he has desired since the day we met.
If it makes him happy, then I’m happy too.
At that moment where we were talking on our living room, he stood up with my phone and pressed record. He serenaded me, pulling me up to where I am and pulled me close to slowly dance while he mumble the words and doze of bit by bit. I couldn’t help my tears flow down that time. Maybe it was the alcohol, being in the middle of the night or I’m just emotional. I don’t know.
Jonghyun expressed a lot of things to me, but to put it in a song, about our relationship makes me feel assured that he loves me so.
As I do love him too.
Every now and then I would listen to the record and hear fumbles at the end and still giggle from it when we dropped on our couch and slept until my phone rang for a meeting. It had to be cut immediately asides from hearing our snores and mumbles. It’s adorable.
I still have the original long version that sometimes I put whenever I’m doing documentation for patients.
Oh, yes. Just recently! I left my earphones at home and messaged him about it. He immediately sent a sad face and he persisted on bringing it to work. Yet since he was occupied with errands of the outside world, I found a better way to listen to it even for such a short time. By sitting on our pantry, placing my stethoscope to my ears and play it in a lowest volume with the diaphragm directed to the speaker.
It feels authentic, as if I’m reliving the moment once again.
Then, I would close my eyes and find the corner of my lips curve with the warmth that my cheeks that will never appear unless it’s about him. And whenever my colleagues see me, they used to laugh. Yet when they knew the power of a stethoscope, they started doing it too.
I actually have to go in a minute. Must be such a long record, and should buy a bigger data storage the next time.
*sighs*
To be honest, I’ve seen a lot of couples do a lot of things and often overlap to the expectations of one another which creates misunderstanding. But really?... no matter how much people do extravagant things for the ones they love, either material or experience wise, the little things are the ones that matter most. To be contented on who you love, the things they do and supporting them in the things that they desire is already a big achievement to appreciate the one you have.
And I thank the universe everyday, that this is what I feel when I finally found him.
