Major CW for omo eproctophilia and coprophilia!
Never wipes after he pisses, of course. Flick it and go.
Pisses hard and long. Never takes the courtesy of aiming his stream at the edge, instead letting his piss hit the surface and rumble loudly.
Definitely let’s a few rip without shame when he relaxes to piss, in public or not.
His piss is usually potent in scent and fairly yellow from forgetting to drink throughout the day. It’s an unmistakable scent.
Joseph is not affraid to tell you when he has to use it. He’ll be a total baby and just whine and whine when he has to piss until you get him somewhere to go.
Not picky about bathrooms. This man will pop a squat behind a building with no hesitation if he needs to go bad enough.
He farts a LOT when he has to go number 2. When you hear those farts coming one after one, you’d better take the bathroom before he spends an hour in there.
Stomach clutcher when he eats something bad and gets an upset stomach. When he starts cramping and whining, you may wanna prepare and open some windows.
Full swamp ass when he farts. It’s hot, it’s heavy, and it’s powerful and musky.
His shits are solid logs that are heavy and big. When he goes to take a dump, he’s gonna be a while with those hole stretchers. He farts all the way through, blasting ass when a log is finally dropped, only for another to breech.
Always calls going to the restroom something crude (chopping logs, pinching a loaf, turtle heading, etc.). Caesar is always disgusted.
Big grunter when he’s going number two. You’ll know he’s taking a dump if you walk by the bathroom (if the smell doesn’t hit you first).
After he shits, you may as well call that bathroom out of commission. The seat is hot, the air is warm for some reason, and he doesn’t even bother to clean up the bowl of his mess. Turn the fan on, spray some air freshener, and pray that’s his last shit of the day (it’s not).
Sometimes he “forgets” to flush if Caesar is around just to hear him yell about how disgusting he is and giggle.
Does not hesitate to tell you how good that dump felt in graphic detail. Bonus points if the person he’s telling has a k!nk and they just have to listen to Joseph boast about his amazing shit.
Not the best wiper. One or two are usually good enough for him. Who’s lookin back there anyhow?
To be continued later...🖤🤍