Today I got some really good news!! I had 2 eye surgeries last month (torn retina, not fun) and I had my post op follow up today! Its healing well, looking great. Also i dreamt I didnt turn my ringer off in a movie theater and my phone started playing the shrek soundtrack in a very emotional moment. I think i got kicked out by kermit the frog, but its fuzzy.
Woahhhh
My brother got foot surgery a few days ago and hes been hobbling around like hes only got one workin foot or something. weird. what a loser he should try walking /j
most recently a dream i had i was lightning mcqueen! I got gay married to my childhood best friend (it was actually a woman from an adam sandler movie i thought was sexy) and her husband and mecca
A gift for @paradoxgavel, created by @josscadeart!
~~
Jake sat at the shore of a small lake on the edge of the Monongahela National Forest, hands - still not used to having fingers - closing methodically around a snowball. He looked out at the shimmering, frozen surface of the water in awe, mind lost in thought.
“Who’re you?” A voice called from behind Jake, startling him.
He turned his head slightly.
There stood a child, no older than Jake was at 11. Scrawny and scrappy, hair mostly hidden beneath a toque, save a few strands of brightly colored blue-green.
After studying them for a moment, he replied.
“I’m Jake. Who are you?”
“I’m Hollis.” Hollis answered in return, stepping forward down the slight decline, careful not to slip.
“I’ve never seen you before.”
Jake nodded, not looking up, instead focusing on the icy lake in front of him.
“I just came here a bit ago.”
His brow furrowed.
“Mama said I shouldn’t talk to strangers.”
Hollis laughed.
“That’s meant for adults, not kids.”
They squatted down next to him, careful not to get their jeans wet with snow.
“Oh.”
“Why’re you out here?”
“Tired. Never seen something like this before.”
“Seriously? You don’t have winter where you’re from?”
Jake shook his head.
“Not like this.”
“It’s nice.” He said, after a moment of contemplation.
“Yeah.”
“Why are you out here, Hollis?”
“Dad’s being a dick, needed some alone time.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. ‘S not your fault.”
Hollis took a moment to look at Jake, all fluffy blond hair, and pale skin mottled with freckles.
What truly confused them, though, was what Jake was wearing.
It had to be at LEAST 10 degrees out today, and he had little more than a spring jacket and sandals to keep him warm.
“How the heck are you out here like that? I’m wearing full winter gear and I’m freezing dude.”
“I don’t think it’s that cold, is it?” Jake answered, a bit confused.
“You’re crazy man.”
Jake unzipped his jacket, much to Hollis’ befuddlement, and after struggling a moment with the sleeves, held it out to them.
“Here! I don’t want you to be cold.”
Hollis felt their face heat up despite the chill in the air, eyes darting between the sincerity in Jake’s expression and the flimsy coat held out with the intent to keep them warm.
Hollis stood up sharply.
“Put your coat on, stupid, you’re gonna freeze to death.”
Jake attempted to protest, but Hollis turned to leave too quickly.
Jake slumped slightly with the rejection, but soon straightened back out with a smile with Hollis, carefully hiding their face with their scarf, asked,
“Am I gonna see you at school?”
Jake beamed.
“Probably!”
Hollis nodded, turning to stomp back into the woods, leaving Jake to stare at the surface of the lake with a new sense of contentment.
—
1 Winter Later
A bell rang, not so far away from where Jake sat; atop a rock next to the play park on his school grounds.
“Put your damn coat on.” A familiar voice called, chastising him.
Jake smiles, not looking back.
“Hey Hollis!”
Gentle flakes of snow fell from the clouds, and, to Jake’s delight, stuck to the ground rather than melting away.
“You’re supposed to be in Spanish right now.” Jake thought out loud.
“And you’re supposed to be in Math, but we both have better things to do, huh?”
Jake smiled, a quiet laugh bubbling from his lips.
“Nah, I just wanted to see it. I missed the first snow last year, didn’t want to start a trend.”
“Why do you like winter so much, dude?
“I guess it just reminds me of home.” Jake shrugged.
“I thought you hadn’t even seen a frozen lake before you moved here.”
“No, it’s - We didn’t really have lakes. But that’s not the only reason.”
Hollis leaned next to the boulder Jake had perched himself on.
“Well?”
“What?”
“You’re gonna tell me the reason right?”
“Oh, uh.” Jake stammered.
“I dunno, it just feels like… Right? Everything just stands still for a moment. I can think about home without it… I feel like I have a second to breathe without worrying about life and stuff. It’s nice. It feels special.” Jake fumbled to find the right way to express it.
“You fuckin sap.” Hollis snorted, pushing Jake gently. “We’re in the 8th grade, man what’s there to worry about.”
“Yeah, I guess.” Jake conceded.
“So are we going to class, or are we gonna sit out here in the cold forever.”
“Sit out in the cold?” Jake answered, hopefully?
“Go to class, man!” Hollis laughed, picking up the scant snow that had layered itself on the grass and haphazardly tossing it at Jake’s face.
That got him to laugh, and Hollis felt a bit of triumph.
—
2 Winters Later
During, not the first, but rather, a midseason snowfall, they met atop Mount Kepler for some fun on their day off.
“Almost got it, Keith!” Jake exclaimed, wiping snow from his goggles and grinning.
“You didn’t fall on me this time!” Keith cheered.
“Still ate shit, though.”
“Hey Hollis!” Jake called.
“Sick stunts, what’s that one?”
“It’s called a Buddy Bonk. It’s radical.“
"Nice.”
“Wanna try?”
Hollis hemmed and hawed, before nodding.
“Hell yeah, let me just finish this cig.”
Jake and Keith made a few more attempts; a small jump, landing on a buddy’s upturned board (laying down with knees Firmly on the ground, Jake explained.) and kicking off. Hollis would have been content just to watch them beat the shit out of each other, but as their cigarette burned out, Jake noticed immediately.
“Ok, done. Do you wanna be the Bonker or the Bonkee?” He said with a smile.
“Is the bonker the one that eats shit?”
“Yeah!”
“I’ll do that one.”
Hollis clipped themself into their board.
“So, why are we stunting?”
“Cause it’s gnarly.”
“So, what, you want to be a stuntman now?”
“God no. Well, yeah, actually, but not like a professional guy who jumps explosions and stuff.”
“So just a hobbyist stuntman.”
“Exactly!”
“Just join the local stunt club, stunt on the weekends with the boys.” Hollis chuckled.
“That actually sounds sick though?” Keith said, “Just get our buds together and just kick it.”
“Kepler Stunt Club, accepting new members now!” Hollis gestured the title to the air.
Jake grinned, and Hollis flicked the last of their well-charred cigarette butt to the snow, they pushed their knees off and slid on their heels to position.
“Well, as you are now the founder of the KSC, you need to teach me that Bonk trick., ‘kay Coolice?”
“Heck yeah!”
Jake walked Hollis through the steps of doing a Buddy Bonk
It was, surprisingly, a bit complex. Certainly explained Jake being just fucking covered in snow.
Satisfied in his teaching, Jake lowered himself onto the ground to be Hollis’ Bonkee.
Sliding forward, Hollis bent their knees, readied a jump, and absolutely beefed it.
Tip of their board catching on the ice, they tumbled forward and landing right atop of Jake.
Jake coughed the breath from his lungs as he took the full brunt of Hollis’ weight and fell to the ground. Hollis, frozen with shock, didn’t move for a moment. Concerned, Jake shifted his weight to turn around.
“Oh, crap are you ok?” He said, cut off quickly by a quick knock, as his forehead collided with Hollis’.
“Jeez, ow.”
Hollis found themself at a pause. Unsure of how long they’d been there.
The initial shock of the fall had gone fairly fast, but…
Hollis’ hadn’t been this close to Jake before, they didn’t think.
He had always been a bit cute, they guessed… Fuck, they shouldn’t be thinking like that.
“Hollis?”
Fuck, how long had they been staring?
Hollis quickly scampered off of Jake, flushing brightly.
“Sorry, uh. I’m gonna go inside.” They shook their head, adjusting their board and taking off toward the lodge.
Keith and Jake watched as Hollis went.
“Wow they sure fucked that up, huh?”
“It’s a hard trick, we hadn’t even gotten it yet, why are they so upset?”
Jake wondered.
“I dunno.” Keith shrugged.
Jake furrowed his brow.
“I’m gonna go make sure they’re ok.”
Jake followed to the ski lodge, sticking his head into one of the recessed booths they usually frequented..
“Hollis?”
Hollis said nothing, staring at the table, and scratching at a spot of coffee stained to the surface.
“Hey, it’s ok that you didn’t make the stunt, me an’ Keith hadn’t gotten it either.”
Hollis mumbled something beneath their breath.
“Come on, Hollis. We can practice more if you want? Or we can work on an easier one first. I really want to learn how to Eurocarve…”
“I don’t care about the trick, Jake.”
“You don’t?”
Hollis shook their head.
“Why are you upset then?”
Hollis grumbled.
“Come on, you can talk to me about anything, you’re like my best friend.”
Jake said, tilting his head to meet Hollis’ downturned eyes, smiling softly.
Hollis met his eyes, searching his face for… Something.
“Fuck it.” Hollis sighed, as they leaned forward, as their lips met Jake’s.
Jake’s eyes widened, but didn’t pull away until Hollis did.
After a few moments of silence, Hollis clenched their jaw.
“Well?”
“Oh.” Jake said.
“Was that ok?”
“I have no idea.”
“What?”
“I don’t know how I feel about that yet.”
“Neither do I!” Hollis grumbled.
Hollis could see the gears turning in Jake’s head, before he too leaned forward and gently kiss them.
“I think I like that.” Jake smiled. “But I’m ok if you just want to figure it out.”
A small smile creeps onto Hollis’ face as Jake’s becomes infectious, just in time for a voice to interrupt their moment.
“Hey, you doing ok?” Keith asked.
Hollis looked up. “Yeah, I think I’m good.”
—
3 Winters Later
The Kepler Stunt Club was roaring to life, with most of the teens in Kepler either being on the roster, or simply hanging with the club from time to time.
It had gotten more chaotic than Jake would have liked.
“Hey Hollis, can I like, talk to you?”
“Yeah babe, what’s up?” Hollis said absentmindedly.
“Like, in private.” Jake clarified quietly.
Despite his low tone of voice, he was overheard by the club members loitering about.
“Ooooh!”
“Get it Hollis!” A smattering of people hollered.
“Sure.” Hollis agreed, glaring at the one who had interrupted.
Soon, they were alone, out behind an old building surrounded by evergreens wearing heavy coats of snow and ice.
“Is something wrong, Jake?”
“Uh, yeah I - sorta.”
“What is it?”
“I was talking to Keith earlier and he told me what happened last night. That you and him, and some of the guys had been out and decided to spray paint the sheriff’s office.”
“Yeah?”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea Hollis - “
“He was already up our asses when we weren’t doing anything illegal. What’s a bit of teen rebellion?”
“Yeah, but he was mad that some of the guys were grinding on the park benches. Not that we were committing illegal crimes.”
“It’s just graffiti, Jake.”
“It isn’t - It’s not cool. I don’t think that’s the right thing to do. Kepler Stunt Club was just supposed to be us doing cool tricks with our friends, not - “ wildly gesturing “this.”
“Seriously Jake, are you really getting worked up about this?”
“Yeah, Hollis, I am. I don’t like Dominic and rest of them thinking we’re a bunch of delinquents or whatever and using our club to do crimes.”
“It’s not crimes Jake, jesus.”
“Well what is it Hollis? Because I don’t think I want to be a part of this.”
“You don’t have to tag anything.” Hollis said, as they lit up a cigarette. “I just don’t see the big deal. They already looked at a bunch of kids and decided we were assholes, so why not get in their shit back.”
“Not just the tagging, Hollis.”
“What, like you’re quitting Stunt Club or something?” Hollis snorted. Jake couldn’t be serious, right?
“Maybe?”
Surprise caused Hollis to cough.
“You’ll quit Stunt Club, because Dom wrote his name on a building, and Keith and I just happened to be with him.”
“Hollis, I just-.”
“Fucking seriously, Jake? You’ll ditch your friends, you’ll ditch me because of this shit?”
“I didn’t say anything about ditching you Hollis, I just don’t want to have this stuff attached to me. Mama would kill me if-”
Hollis squints.
“Fine, whatever.” Hollis, giving up on the cig, plunged it into a snowbank, putting out the embers, before sticking it into their pocket.
“Hollis, please don’t be mad.”
“I’m not mad, Jake. But I’m not sure if I want you attached to me either after this.”
Jake faltered, hurt. “Really, Hollis?”
Hollis steeled their nerves, and didn’t react, stepping away carefully, leaving Jake without a goodbye.
Jake walked back to the car he arrived in, past the KSC, before getting in the passenger seat of a car and slumping in the seat.
“Dani, I think I fucked it up.”
“Yeah?”
“I think Hollis broke up with me.”
“Well that sucks Jake, I’m sorry.”
“I think it’s for the best… I don’t know what I can do for them right now. I’m not going to crap on my morals, but I don’t think I handled that well at all.”
“Do you want to go back?”
“No. I’m going to give them space. It’s the least I can do right now.
—
4 Winters Later.
A bright, sterile hospital room.
It’s a few days after the Hornets assisted the Pine Guard, and the residents of the Amnesty Lodge, fight off the Quell. There were no casualties, thank god, but a few injuries.
Hollis is hurt, laying on the gurney with leg in a cast, bandages around their ribs; a side effect of taking off and landing in a thicket of rocks and branches.
Keith had been keeping them company. He’s a good guy, a good friend.
They had been shooting the shit, talking about nothing to keep Hollis’ mind off their injuries.
There was a quiet rapping on the door, accompanied by a soft “Hey Hollis.”
“Hey Jake.” Hollis answered.
They stared for a moment, Jake not moving past the threshold of the door.
“Hey Keith.” Keith said, interrupting the silence.
“Give us a minute, Keith?” Hollis asked.
“Yeah fine, whatever. I’m gonna get some hospital pudding.” Keith smiled, giving Jake a semi-friendly shoulder punch on his way out.
Jake sat down next to the bed.
“You okay Hollis?”
“I’ve been better.” Hollis replied, gesturing to their broken leg.
“Yeah, same.”
It wasn’t awkward persay, to be sitting alone in a room together. It had been too long to be awkward anymore. But it wasn’t fully comfortable, like being away on a long trip, and coming back to a couch that had gotten used to not having you sit in it anymore.
“So, a seal, huh?” Hollis said, trying to clear the air.
Jake took his hat off sheepishly, and fiddled with the edges to have anything to do with his hands.
“Yep.”
“Not what I would have pegged you as, but make sense.”
“Yeah.”
Hollis smiles, and lays back down.
“Jake I-” “Hollis I-”
“Oh, no you go ahead.” “What was that?”
“You first Hollis.”
“I - ok - I don’t think I ever apologized, did I?”
“For what?”
“For what I said to you when you left the Hor- the Kepler Stunt Club.”
“You don’t have to-”
“No, I want to. I don’t think that I was necessarily wrong,-”
“I don’t think that’s how apologies are supposed to start, Hollis.” Jake laughed.
“Shut up” His laughter was still infectious. Hollis couldn’t help sharing a chuckle with him.
“-But I didn’t think about how you felt about it and why you would want to leave. It just felt like a… Betrayal? When you said you wanted to quit the club,” They tried to explain. “It was something the three of us started, It felt like you didn’t want to be around me anymore because we were ‘Bad’. It felt like how Sheriff judging us as bad kids without reason felt.”
“That not how I meant that Hollis.” He said softly.
“I know,” Hollis leaned over to pat his shoulder. “But, like. I get it. I get why you wouldn’t want to be an actual bad kid, because that’s where the rest of us were going.”
They sighed.
“I was angry, Jake. Not with you, just with life. And when you came and told me that I, that my anger was wrong I just. I couldn’t deal with it. I certainly wasn’t in a place where I could even start to deal with it. So I lashed out. I left you before you could leave me. And I’m sorry. Looking back, I don’t think you would have left me. But I do think I would have gotten more distant, and shitty, and cause you a whole lot of problems. I wish it hadn’t happened that way. And I get why you were upset for so long.”
“I was hurt, yeah. But I was a bit selfish too.”
“You really weren’t, Jake.”
“No, I was. I didn’t really get why you were angry. I didn’t want to get in trouble. I didn’t think about why you wanted that.”
“We were 17, Jake, we were both stupid shits.”
“I think we’re still stupid, honestly.”
Hollis snorted, harder than they meant to, hurting their injured rib.
They sucked in a sharp breath, holding their side, and Jake quickly got up before stopping himself from getting too close and sitting back down.
God, he was still so nice.
“I missed you Jake.”
“I missed you too.”
“I’m glad I risked my life to safe this shitty town. If I hadn’t then maybe we wouldn’t be finally having this talk.”
Jake beamed.
“I’m happy too. Do you think we can be friends again?”
“Yeah, I think we could.”
“Are you guys done yet?” Keith called from the hall.
“Yeah I think so.” Hollis said.
“Thank god, I was about to drop this.” He said, carrying an extra chair, with pudding and snacks on the seat.
“There. Now we can both sit.” He said, as he set down the chair and dumps the snacks onto Hollis’ lap.
“I’m not a table, Keith, what the fuck.”
Keith shrugged as he grabbed a pudding cup and held it out to Jake.
“Thanks Keith.” Jake accepted, peeling off the lid.
For once, Jake thought, all is well between them.
Except for Hollis’ bones.
“So, can you do that seal thing at will?” Keith said between mouthfuls of chips.
“Yeah, I just have to take off a bracelet.”
“Take it off!” Keith hollered.
Jake laughed as he took off his wrist cuff.
“God you’re so fucking big Jake.” Keith laughed.
—
1 Winter Later
“Ok, so you’re going to be in charge of bunny hill lessons, ok?” Hollis said, checking their clipboard notes.
“I’m nervous.” Jake admitted.
“Don’t be, you’re the best pizza french fry-er I know.” Hollis tilted their head with a smile.
“Aw, thanks.”
“You’ll do great, babe.”
Jake got ready to get going, but Hollis grabbed his hand to pull him back, and pressed a small kiss to his cheek. Jake squeezed their hand back.
“Oh god, your hands are cold Hollis.” Jake said, frowning, picking a lump of fabric off the office chair. “Here’s my jacket, I don’t want you to be cold.”
Hollis grabbed the coat, throwing it right back at Jake, with a wide smile and a faint blush.
“It’s the middle of February, Coolice!!”
Jake grins, giving Hollis two thumbs up before heading out into the snow.
im pretty much constantly in tears watching queer eye.
it’s a show that’s designed to make you cry
instead of a new year’s resolution, I tried to do a Queer Eye challenge for myself, where I identified 5 things in my life that corresponded to each of the guys that would make my life better and started implementing them
josscadeart replied to your post: I think about this one game a lot that I used to...
the same thing happened to me. i complained about an old fantasy kingdom management game i played religeously when i was 10ish and then someone sent me a link to the steam page for Majesty
It’s so satisfying to know that the shit you remember is actually real and you just didn’t make it up. Like sometimes things are so deep down in there, you question yourself.
