* IF I CAN’T HAVE LOVE, I WANT POWER / accepting | @jourdevanille | “It’s easy for you, after all.“
“Easy ?”
On the surface, her response was a question. Deeper, beneath the lofted brow and impassive appearance, one might have thought it a challenge. Oh, in her defence, Lightning was capable enough ; there was a reason she’d been accepted into the Guardian Corps and there were reasons why she was able to push past the limitations of her companions. But it wasn’t as if she woke up with the ability to persevere – nor that her choice had been as simple as a checked box or a nod of the head.
A sharp inhale sent oxygen billowing into her lungs, buying her a few precious seconds. They all knew the value of that time. “Vanille, it’s not – “
A pause. She knew she could rebuke her then and there, to remind her – cruelly, always cruelly with such words – that easier choices could have been made in walking away. Nothing of what they did was inherently easy, only that she saw little point in burdening those around her with her own dismay. If they stopped, what then ?
“...it’s not easy.” She hated how the words felt on her tongue, gooey like peanut butter, but she knew the alternative was worse. Lightning let her hand lift to pinch the bridge of her nose, as if though the admission had given her a headache. “It never is. But if we don’t do something – if we don’t make choices – are we living or just waiting for the end ? We have people counting on us, who need us to keep going for them. Haven’t you done things for yourself and Fang that look easy, but they’re not ?”
