s: dating the general mahamatra comes with insecurities.
cw: none
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you’d like to think you’re a resilient person. teyvat is filled with mysteries and anomalies something you’ve learned to coexist with. you’ve been chased by electro slimes, got rocks thrown from hilichurls, and even punched by those infuriating fungi that hop around sumeru’s forest. you’ve prevailed and proudly call yourself an adventurer, it was even enough to be invited by the traveller herself to investigate some of her own journeys. that was proof enough that you’re confident in your own abilities. you were even able to grab the general mahamatra’s attention (albeit some help from lumine but you don’t need to know that).
even so, why is it, as you sit at a wooden table not far from the chief’s home, do you feel completely defeated? climbing the cliffs of sumeru’s deserts seemed much more interesting than having to sit by and wait for your partner to finish discussing some matters with aaru village’s protector.
your fingers tap the table in an impatient manner as your elbow is probed up with your chin sitting comfortably on your palm. that resilient personality you were so confident in seemed to dissipate the second cyno walked up to candace. she’s an amazing women with everyone in the village trusting her and she does everything in her power to make sure things go smoothly.
this wasn’t your first meeting with candace but this time around you couldn’t help but compare the two. their color schemes from their outfits matched beautifully, their positions of power would be enough to scare someone straight, their strength, their auras, their —
“if you keep staring at him like that you won’t need a pyro vision to set him on fire,” a voice from behind cause your movements to pause. with wide eyes and mouth agape you turn to find dehya smirking knowingly at you.
you groan and bury your face into your palms, “this is so embarrassing.”
“and why’s that?” dehya questions opting to seat herself right next to you. she was around to visit candace as usual and she couldn’t help but notice the way you longingly stared at the general mahamatra. “it’s not like you guys aren’t already together, what’s the harm in staring?”
“i’m just—“ you pause unable to figure out the right choice of words to describe your current predicament. you sigh defeated and turn to look at the two again, “i don’t feel good enough to stand next to him.”
“oh?” dehya hums suddenly engrossed at the topic at hand. her eyebrow raises in a way that says ‘are-you-serious-right-now’, “listen, i don’t know much about the adventure’s guild but they’ve always spoken highly of you, especially the traveller. what’s up with this attitude?”
“i don’t know. i don’t have any fancy moves or a title to my name, if it hadn’t been for the traveller, i don’t even think i would’ve gotten to chance to befriend the people i know now,” you rant feeling embarrassed at the location you’re spilling your heart out. you continue, unable to stop, “am i really the right choice for cyno? wouldn’t he better off with someone like candace? or even the traveller.”
a second goes by of silence before dehya is suddenly giggling softly to herself. your face heats up, a warm red glow radiating from your face, “dehya! i’m being serious.”
“i’m sorry! i didn’t mean it like that!” dehya apologizes, waving herself off. she clears her throat and speaks softly to you, “if the general mahamatra didn’t think you were good enough to be around, he wouldn’t be glued to your side 24/7. he doesn’t hesitate to beat guys up for the akademiya, i doubt he would go out with just anyone.”
her words seemed to struck a nerve in your heart and you smiled thankfully at dehya, but she continues, “also, i don’t think candace wants someone intimidating as him around her village.”
you open your mouth to defend cyno but another voice stops you, “candace is grateful for my methods.”
the hairs on your neck stand turning to find cyno with his arms crossed staring blanking at a smirking dehya. his gaze shifts to you it instantly softens causing you to blush with a small smile, he speaks up, “i’m finished discussing matters with candace, if you’re ready we can depart now.”
“oh! yeah, i’m ready!” you quickly stand hitting your knee on the table but you don’t give yourself time to react before you turn to dehya, “thank you for keeping me company. we’ll be leaving now!”
as you start to leave, a hand on your wrist stops your movements and you turn around curiously. cyno points to the book you had long abandoned on the table. you had brought it with you to keep yourself distracted when cyno was busy, it was a book you had borrowed from tighnari and you both knew if you left it, he would have both of your heads.
“oh!” you gasp but cyno is quick enough to grab it for you. you smile toothy at him and squeeze his hand that traveled down to your palm, “thank you! now, let’s go! i wanna see nilou’s performance before it’s too late!”
he hums and bids dehya goodbye. the two of you leave hand in hand out of the desert and you couldn’t help but smile to yourself, all of your previous worries and insecurities disappearing at the mere feeling of cyno’s warm hand intertwined with your own. dehya couldn’t have been any more right, no one in a million years would have imagined the general mahamatra being completely docile and soft with someone else and only you. anyone who’s eyes wandered off towards the two would immediately get shone with the terrifying and infamous hard glare from him.
as the two of you continue your way back to the city with no one around he speaks up, “you know i wouldn’t pick anyone but you.”
“what?” your heart drops knowing that his creepy but impressive hearing didn’t let your conversation go unnoticed.
“you were the first person to laugh at my jokes,” cyno shrugs nonchalantly. he pauses his movements and turns to you and the softest smile you’ve seen grace his face. “it will always and only ever be you. never doubt my judgement.”
note: i’m so in love with cyno y’all do not understand. i need him.
note: this was written at the same time I was listening to the weeknd so it's something quick nothing too in depth.
words were never easy for someone willing to put distance between himself and the rest of humanity. Centuries of shooing away the mortals while protecting them and keeping them at an arm's length have always been his idea of peace. It was the only way to keep them and himself safe, especially with his karmic debt.
You have always been a fickle mortal, never understanding or caring about the invisible barrier he puts up between himself and you. No matter what he says or does, you squeeze yourself into his mind, presence, and heart. You weren't easy to push away or keep close, you came and went wherever the wind would take you. Another reason he tries to ignore your everlasting effect on his poor heart, he attempts to reason with himself. You are no good, his karmic debt is too strong, and his line of duty would never allow him to grow soft (even beyond the fact that Morax told him he no longer holds a contract).
Somehow, no matter how far or long you're gone, his mind always wanders off toward you - your safety, and your well-being. His attempts of ignoring the feeling he is oh so afraid of never seem to disperse the way he would like. Even his attempts to let you know what would come between them if you choose to stay by his side never seem to push you away. Ever so adamant to stay, no matter the consequences.
Perhaps that's why, as he explains his plan to the traveler leaving this cave, his eyes find yours as you converse with yanfei. He would die for you. A long-celebrated yaksha would drop everything for a simple, free-willed mortal like yourself. He couldn't explain it. His feelings were final. The traveler attempted to push that narrative away from his mind but it didn't matter, xiao had his mission settled, there would be no other way but that.
And now as you stare at xiao right when everyone is slowly being sent back to the surface, your eyes are filled with tears in an instant realizing his plan all along, hatred and pain are quickly flashed but not towards him, instead for yourself. How could you ever place your trust and love towards someone so quickly willing to sacrifice himself?
Xiao isn't quick enough to decipher the meaning of your hatred-filled eyes but he hopes you don't blame him for such selfish methods. He would never be able to live with himself if anything had happened to you down here where his fellow yaksha died. He would have done anything, anything, for you and your safety.
synopsis: sharing a dessert couldn't taste any sweeter than this moment.
word count: 645
note: xiao isn't all stoic and i'm determined to destroy that image of him. also this is the first fic i've written in such a long time so you're gonna have to excuse my awkward transitions and style. i swear i'll get better.
Nothing sounded more peaceful than the loud croaks of the frogs and the wind softly whispering its secrets into the darkness. With the opening of the inn's kitchen window, you felt the soft breeze brush your arms causing goosebumps to arise on the spot. You made a mental note to thank Smiley for allowing you to use his area so late just as you accidentally knocked over some eggs as you retrieved the sweet surprise you saved for tonight.
"Be careful," A stern voice from behind you orders in a soft tone. You jolt at the surprise, knocking down two more eggs and cracking on the wooden floor. It's silent for a moment before the figure sighs in defeat and kneels beside you to clean the mess.
"Xiao! You aren't supposed to be in here," You retort, clumsily placing the dessert on the counter to help him clean the mess you made. You were almost 100% sure the yaksha was supposed to be busy around this time which gave you more than enough to get everything ready.
"Why not?" Xiao questions with genuine curiosity. The both of you stood up, making sure to keep the dessert away from his view.
You blink meekly at him, attempting to keep the dessert a surprise. While it might've seemed useless to surprise him with almond tofu, it was your first time making the dessert with a very detailed recipe from Smiley. Unable to come up with an excuse you turn your head slightly to look at the almond tofu.
You've seen the way Xiao makes his on special occasions and your presentation somehow didn't live up to his. The sliced almonds look sad and the osmanthus syrup you poured over ruined the color. Xiao seemed to grow impatient with his stance becoming bored awaiting your response. He still hasn't seen the almond tofu.
You turn around to pick up the dessert, it looks sadder up close. You turn back around keeping it behind you and whisper softly at him with solemn eyes, "Can we go to the rooftop?"
He nods and leads the two of you upstairs. You almost want to scream at the moon for seemingly teasing you with its beauty. So bright and full. In contrast to your attempt at almond tofu.
"I know it's not the best but what's a better way to celebrate the full moon than this," The full moon was nothing more than a diversion than the truth of simply wanting to cook for him. Your mumbles are blocked slightly by the almond tofu you used to cover your blushed cheeks.
Xiao's eyes widen at the surprise in front of him, he usually doesn't enjoy eating human food that isn't made by Smiley and even then he tends to stick with almond tofu. However, the mere sight of your hard work to perfect his one delicacy is enough to cause his heart to blossom. The two of you haven't been together very long but he knew you were one he'd want to spend his forever with even his insecurities and doubts cloud his mind, surprises like these is enough to bury those thoughts for a moment.
Before he could even speak he gently lowers the plate to see your whole face and smiled softly, a reserved smile he hasn't used in a long time. With his hands resting softly on yours he notices the small blanket you must have laid out hours before his arrival and tugs you towards the spot.
"Thank you," He speaks softly handing you one of the small spoons you had bought at a local shop for a special occasion. The almond tofu was sweetened enough for his taste and yet for some reason, the taste of watching the full moon with his favorite person couldn't be any sweeter than the tofu you had made for him.
