Warning: Story deals with loss. I know can be triggering for some people.
A/N: This piece was inspired by A.C.E cover of Empty Space, hence the name. You can watch their cover here.
It didn’t get any easier. Junhee had thought that time could heal all wounds, especially the ones that plagued him every minute of everyday since. But he had been sorely mistaken. He didn’t even recognise himself anymore, not without you. He was a shadow of his former self, the reflection that stared back at him looking nothing like the man you would remember. He replayed that night over and over in his mind countless times, thinking of a tiny detail that he could change slightly and somehow make everything different. Nothing could change it however and it was entirely his fault.
It had been a little over six months since he had last seen you, your features etched in his mind permanently, as to not forget. This memory had kept the fire within him burning long enough to pull himself out of bed and function for the day. He felt empty without you, going through the motions of a life, yet not truly living it. He snickered to himself at the thought, his brown eyes rolling along with it as he turned to pull himself up. The emptiness within his chest was harder to bare today, his hand grasping at his heart as it thudded against his skin.
“Where are you going?”
Her words brought him out of his reverie, shaking his head softly. “To shower. You should go.”
He barely recognised his voice when he spoke it. The hurt was evident on her face, but he didn’t care.
”But I thought..”
She began to speak once more, lifting the bed sheets around her naked torso as Junhee moved away from the bed.
“You thought wrong. Please leave.” He didn’t bother to look back as he made his way to the bathroom, turning on the shower and getting in. He knew by the time he was finished she would be gone, and that’s the way he wanted it.
He knew he was being heartless and cruel towards her but he couldn’t afford to grow any attachments anymore. He tried to fill the empty space of you with other women, and for a fragment of the time it worked, but he was left feeling even emptier than he had been before. Yet he couldn’t stop himself. He craved the touch of another and knew that he couldn’t have you, so he had made it a regular occurrence to go out and find someone to fill that void.
The spray of the water rolled over his skin, washing away the remnants of last night down the drain, although the memory of it never left. He tried to block out thoughts of you as he stood there, knowing alone time was the hardest to deal with. His mind wandered to you in an instant, and the regret and guilt began to fill him up and eat at him once more.
“I thought you would want to go, that’s why I said we would both be there.” He took his eyes from the road momentarily to look towards you, waiting for your response.
“But you didn’t ask me!”
“I didn’t think I would need to.”
“We already had other plans that day Jun. I’m not going.” You crossed your arms defiantly against your chest, your eyes staring into the side of his head as he continued to drive, which only made you angrier.
“He’s expecting us both to go!”
“I don’t care. You should have asked first. Or had you forgotten we had plans?”
“Come on Y/N, you’re being silly.”
“Don’t call me silly Jun.”
“Well you’re being silly.” He announced adamantly, his eyes turning to look at you once more.
“Let me out. I want out. Now.” Your voice cracked as your emotions pooled over and the tears fell.
“I can’t, there’s nowhere to pullover.”
“I don’t care, I want out now.” You demanded as your hands reached for the steering wheel and pulled it towards you.
“Y/N, STOP!” Junhee shouted at your sudden movement towards the steering wheel as he tried to correct it, but it was too late.
He shook his head roughly, slamming his fast against the cold tiled wall hastily. The water running over him had long turned cold sending goosebumps all over his skin. His heart beat loudly and forcefully against his chest, the ache that it left filling up his body entirely. He couldn’t tell whether it was the water or tears that covered his face as he slipped down to the bottom of the shower, his hands now covering his face as he sobbed uncontrollably.
Finally he found the courage to come here, unable to make himself turn up here any other time since. The guilt consumed him too much to make it possible. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to do but it felt like the right time to.
There was no escaping it now. He knew he could no longer live like this and seeing you would be the only way he could move on and collect the remnants of what was left of his life.
It had changed since the last time he’d seen it. The grass underneath his feet seemed greener today as the wind blew the flowers in the garden beds. He walked slowly towards where you were, his throat closing up the closer he came.
Swallowing roughly as he finally found you. He sighed as he made his way towards you, pulling out the flowers he had brought with him as he sat down.
“Hi.”
It was a simple greeting, and yet it felt like the most difficult to say. His eyes washed over your name as he placed the flower against the stone in front of him. His hands grazed along it softly, etching your name within his fingertips.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to come and see you, but I’m here now.”
