#just borderline things

[heylookatree]

the rage is so intense that if i got punched in the face by someone twice my size i’d laugh

[systemofmemes]

[nice-h]

Considered drinking myself stupid but instead I just downloaded Tinder again

[quaalussy]

i thought that therapy would help my terrible horrible no good very bad day but actually i just got so pissed at my therapist that i yelled at her that she was making me worse and stormed out before my appointment was over,,, oops

[tequilamitzitronen]

Und oft hab ich so viel zu sagen und bleibe dennoch still. Saga okay, drehe mich um und geh. Nicht weil ich schwach bin sondern weil ich mittlerweile weiß dass es oft schlauer ist nichts zu sagen. Weil die meisten Menschen viel zu dumm sind um das zu verstehen was sich in meinem Kopf abspielt, sie es nicht verstehen können. Und es im Endeffekt keinen Unterschied macht etwas zu sagen oder nicht. Also bleibe ich still.

[quaalussy]

if i don’t see my thrift store crush today i’m gonna go apeshit

[aanteater-nose]

Being a Dennis kinnie is about yelling in frustration over something others view as minuscule while your friends watch you from a 6 foot radiance and wonder what’s got ur panties all in a bunch

[r0tchild]

just mentally ill things as i listen to deftones <3

ok as we know i am undiagnosed but highly suspect i have bpd and here is another moment i am going to share that reeks of undeniable mental illness:

i applied for a job at a fast food restaurant and went in to my interview and got hired on the spot even tho i had a dumb moment (yay) and they said “we’ll send you the hiring paperwork, fill it out” and i said yes and so i filled everything out and was wondering “well they didn’t say anything about how i’ll be contacted after this” because i was told which days i work, but not the specific time- which stressed me out a ton because what if they just forgot to tell me and i miss my first shift?? i can’t screw up my first job? and its been two days and i’ve still heard nothing and LOGICALLY THINKING it probably just takes a bit to set everything up, confirn my identity, set up stuff with my bank, confirm my bank info is correct, etc. etc. but OH NO logic is never good enough around here, of course not

so i ended up in an obsessive spiral thinking “omg they decided they didnt want me after all and after my dumb moment i cant be trusted with the responsibility and they don’t know how to tell me so theyre just ghosting me and they didnt tell me the exact shift date so they have an excuse to get rid of me when i mess things up” AND my account on their site wasnt letting me log in so i convinced myself they deleted it as part of the ghosting process (telling myself rn that’s not true even tho idk the logical alternative even is) 

anyway figured i’d get this out there so yeah, idk if this if this relates to the possible bpd but whatever its from its clearly not Healthy <3