PREFACE: I DONT HAVE ANYTHING AGAINST NON-SHARING YUMES, ONE OF MY NICEST MOOTS IS NONSHARING SO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DONT GET THE WRONG IDEA, IM JUST BRAINDUMPING TO GET MY FEELINGS OUT
i kinda wish i can find a character that i can yumeship with on my own that nobody hasnt found yet bc if ppl know them, i may get blocked by doubles (i wont be able to make friends with potentially cool moots) and i'll js feel like a failiure overall, i associate being blocked with negative stuff so i'll feel like i upset sm and ik u js have to move on and all of that but i get super stressed whenever something bad happens online in general :(
also like, i feel like i may mischaracterise them and i dont want to do that in case they portray a certain theme that is super important that i may gloss over, say for example i LOOOOOVE TC from cyberverse, he's such a HOTTIE but irl he would probably stomp me and kill me so- yeah ;-; and itll probably make me super weird and parasocial about them which leads me onto the third point
and also, these characters arent real (as in theyre not irl) so i feel really bum whenever i think abt them romantically because they cant consent, like how do i know that if they were real they would say yes?? I DONT KNOW BC THEY CANT PHYSICALLY SHOW UP AND BE LIKE "i want you romantically and carnally" so i could genuinely be a creep by thinking these things and linking to the second point, parasocial relationships arent healthy and i feel like i'll easily fall into that
and finally with the way i am now, these guys probably won't even want me :,)
therefore this leaves ocs because theyre MINE and i made them, nobody else did and i have full control over them that nobody can take away from me (but i still feel guilty which is dumb)
faith's got WAY too much baggage to even CONSIDER dating and theyve done a lot of really horrible, nasty stuff that drove away their partner in the first place ( @yashtheartistic and @untitled-25-mp3 u guys alr know what's up with faith and voyager and fuse and EVERYONE ELSE)
voyager is so cute but theyre taken ;-; i feel it's just disrespectful, also bc theyre pan and im fictospec but like guys mainly (still working out whether im acespec or if im js straight but for fictional guys) and if it IS the latter, i don't want to selfship bc itll be selfish of me to do so
voyager's reasons are the same for fuse
and the others i havent characterised as much and i dont like them as much as faith, voyager and fuse
and i like robots more than humans >.< aaaaaa :(
i think i will just explode and die :,) i dont want to be blocked, itll make me sad so i will just suffer ^u^; i respect all nonsharers, you guys do what you wanna do!!