Nov 21, 2022
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November 2022 on Twitter:
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One of my fav hellsite gags
OVERALL UNIMPORTANT but DEEPLY ANNOYING side effect of the new reblog notes thing: all the posts on the dash are EXTRA LONG because of the individual notes footer for no good reason
why would i give a fuck how many notes each individual step in the reblog chain got omfg
I love this website even tho it's just nostalgia posts and the muppet joker
My beloved
Disappointment the Main Maggot
Assorted gentlefolk, may I first introduce to you, @good-usernames-were-taken, the chaotic and iconic maggot Valerie. She is currently enabling me in various endeavours of brainrot, which will be revealed shortly.
But before that, this maggot had the great pleasure of participating in an actual maggot race during a biology practical class. And I absolutely have to share the tale with you because, with all due respect, what the fuck. I am writing this post listening to Katy Perry's Dark Horse on loop which I think is very sexy of me. Now gird your loins because it's story time.
A week or so ago, Valerie walked into her biology practical class. It was a day like any other. She did not know her life would be changed until she spotted a tray of live maggots that had not been there the week before.
It turned out that their assignment that class was to change the conditions that the maggots were in, and see how it affected them physically. But how would the students test it?
They decided on a maggot race. Each of them selected a maggot to represent them.
Valerie was thinking strategically. She picked a promising maggot, and to quote her, "I selected a really ugly one and it was really fat and I thought that would give it the upper hand, cause it would block its opponents from the race course."
Maggot-shaming aside, Valerie had full faith in her maggot. So much so that she bet 20 pence on 'this thing'.
The time for the race drew near, and then it had begun, and all the maggots started to move. EXCEPT HERS.
What followed next is best explained in Valerie's own, traumatised, words:
"This fat creature just sat there, looking at me. The emotions running through my head were just... I was so disappointed. Five minute passed. Nothing. The little shit was just staring at me.
And then it does something.
It starts to move.
It moves backwards.
IT MOVES AWAY FROM THE FINISH. MY FAT MAGGOT LANDED LAST. LAST PLACE.
So I called it Disappointment."
Now, maggots of mine, you know I love you all. I do. But we all have to agree that Disappointment is absolute the Maggot. The Main Fucking Event. A generational icon, acting in defiance of science and logic, a true representative of the human condition.
Please find below a sketch of Disappointment the Main Maggot by Valerie, to be hung in the Maggot Hall of Shame.
For the unaware, maggots actually do not have faces. This is an entirely accurate sketch. Thank you Valerie, and Disappointment.
Now I've been informed that I now need to be aware that I have a lot of people reading my content, and act accordingly. So I'm going to add morals to the story!
Remember: Disappointment the Main Maggot says no to following the crowd. It says a fuck you to hustle culture. It holds up a metaphorical middle finger to the System. Disappointment the Main Maggot is out there living its best fat maggot life. It did not care that it was a prime contender with a bodily advantage and there were monetary stakes involved.
Disappointment is Slaying. Be like Disappointment. I'm the Good Omens Mascot. Disappointment is the Maggot Mascot.
We will end this story time with a bit of poetry by Valerie, a haiku, in fact:
Oh Disappointment I put all my faith in you Fat ugly maggot.
Just hellsite things 🤡👀
Walking back from dinner yesterday my dad saw a squirrel and commented to me; “that’s a beach squirrel!” So I replied “how is a beach squirrel different from a regular squirrel” and he says, “beach squirrels wear little squirrel speedos…squeedos!” And so I present, for tumblrs appreciation: The ad for Squeedos ft. A squirrel in leather speedos with an absolute fucking PACKAGE
heya, if your messages disappeared, you might be shadowbanned.
i got em fixed, it was just tumblr being tumblr ig.