Sometimes I feel things so deeply, good and bad, like I just want to stand at the edge of a cliff and scream, I want to be filled with emotions, I want to feel fluttery and feel my cheeks flush from meeting the gaze of someone across the room, I want to walk through the woods in the dusty static of dusk holding a lantern and feeling the cold on my face, I want to wake up next to someone and hear the rain through the open window above the bed, I want to feel a hundred things at once, and be full of them. Other times I feel empty, like I’m nothing and there’s nothing inside of me that can be stirred by someone else. I don’t know if that’s a normal cycle of emotions for people to go through, it probably is, but I’m on the feeling phase of it now and I want to stay here, even if everything I feel is just a yearning for those feelings. I’d rather feel. I don’t want to be cold and hard.