#just... you know

[bluespring864]

[romanticmonster]

For someone who's not a necrophile, i had a dream about being one.

Interesting. But still not one aroused by corpses.

Murder on the other hand...

[inneffablehusbands]

obsessed with the fact that his middle names are Dimitri Constantine

DIMITRI

CONSTANTINE!!

[amaranthhiding]

Sam and Lily Sunder in 12x10

I honestly never paid all that much attention to this scene in my previous rewatches of this episode, because the episode itself has such a strong focus on Cas, so that's where my attention was the other times.

But since this time my focus for this episode is on Sam (for... so far undisclosed reasons *coughs*), this scene is driving me completely up-the-wall insane. I'm not even sure I can adequately put into words all the layers of why.

Sam is really there, having a bonding moment with the red-haired, centuries-old woman who knows levels of advanced magic that lie beyond anything Sam has been able to do alone so far, while he's relating to her in a very personal way over past trauma.

The mind-blowing thing about this is that all of this sounds 100% like I'm talking about Rowena, but I'm not.

And you can see, you can actually see, how fascinated and tempted he is by the prospect of this magic.

That the only thing holding him back is the memory of himself going dark with the demon blood powers years ago.

(Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

And how he drops that restraint the moment he finds out that Lily is not talking about any dark powers, but about angelic, divine ones.

I mean, look at how interested he suddenly is.

This is just an assumption on my part, but I think his posture and facial expression mean he is so willing to pay the price?

He even puts the angel blade away he'd been fiddling with up to this point.

He's willing to pay the price until he finds out that this price also includes going back to one of his other deepest regrets—the time he was soulless and completely unhinged and without any remorse.

Which gives them yet another thing to bond over? Something nobody else would truly understand.

Listen, I'm not actually shipping Sam/Lily. I'm honestly not even completely sure what my point for this post is. But I'm just intrigued, you know?

They somehow put Sam's dark past with the demon blood powers and the soulless era and the desperate hunt for revenge for the deaths of Mary and Jess all into one conversation?

That and magic!

Then Lily's "You don't trust me, I understand" is like a throwback to one of the first things Sam said to Rowena: "I don't trust you, and I never will."

And then Lily, as if she already knew Sam in and out from the short time they've spent with each other, brings up the one thing that actually has the potential to make him go down that soulless road again.

Dean's death.

We know it's possible.

Just like Dean's fate was what made Sam drop all his restraints to team up with Rowena, it could do the same thing again, couldn't it?

If Ishim had managed to kill Dean and Cas that night, Sam would have wanted Ishim dead with very little regard for whatever personal sacrifices Sam would have had to make for that. Even if, for some reason, that would have been an eye?

We know that.

Lily knows that.

And Sam knows it, too.

(Also, she promises to wait for him because she really wants him as her student for Enochian magic, apparently? Just, what is happening here?)

[insufficiently-advanced]

getting your shit together after a long bout of severe depression sucks so much

like i know it will probably be worth it but it’s like all your childhood fears about adulthood are coming true. just responsibility after responsibility.

sometimes self-care is like pulling teeth. it hurts and it’s bad and you don’t want to but leaving a festering tooth is ultimately worse

[justlookatthosesausages]

Anyone else got periods of specific theme-based obsessions during their childhoods starting with middle age knights and castles, moving on to ancient egypt and pharaohs, then to japan, then to ancient greece and myths, and then nothing but they all sort of stayed in you? Or is it just me?

[nikkoliferous]

Maybe Loki cut Sif's hair once as a prank like he did in norse mythology and therefore she really doesn't like him?

Counterpoint: since when does anyone on Asgard need a reason to dislike Loki?