#justsam

[samsedayon]

I don't even know how to explain what's happening in the Philippines right now. I really don't.

There are days when you open the news and it just hits different. Not in a "wow this is wild" way but in a "why are we like this" way. A shootout inside the senate building. A senator wanted by the ICC who keeps appearing and disappearing like a bad dream. Another senator caught on record saying hide the CCTV footage. And on top of all that, an impeachment trial for the sitting vice president. This is not a political thriller on Netflix. This is Tuesday.

And the worst part is you're not even surprised anymore. That's what gets me. The bar has been lowered so many times that chaos in the halls of government just feels like background noise now. We've been conditioned to just absorb it and move on, because what else can you do? You go to work, you commute, you pay your bills, and somewhere in Manila, people with actual power over your life are out here acting like extras in a teleserye.

I get why people want to leave. I really do. When you look at all of this and then think about what it costs just to live a decent life here, the thought crosses your mind. It's embarrassing to admit but it does. Not because you don't love the country, but because you're tired of loving something that keeps getting let down by the people who were supposed to take care of it.

But then. I don't know. There's still something that makes you stay, or at least makes you hope. Maybe it's the people around you. The ones who still show up, still care, still get angry because anger means they haven't given up. Maybe that's enough to hold onto for now.

I hope things get better. Genuinely. Not in a naive way, but in the way that you hope for something even when you're not sure it's coming. Because the alternative is deciding it's hopeless, and I'm not ready to do that yet.

[thankyouspecial]

Did you mean: Sam when Zemo talks about Trouble Man in FATWS ep03

[artszy-sage]

I just watched this video and I love it sooo much, please go show the creator some love. We need more Sam edits and videos smh

[samsedayon]

Our dog passed away.

He was the only dog who stayed with us the longest, 15 years. No breed, just a family dog, but I loved him more than I can properly explain.

He was with us since I was in my first year of college, all the way through graduation, and even now that I’m already working. He was there through every version of my life so far. It feels strange thinking about how much of my growing up he witnessed quietly just by being there with us.

Lately, Mac stopped eating much. Maybe it was really just his age catching up with him. Watching him slow down day by day was hard, but I keep telling myself that maybe this is kinder than seeing him struggle every single day.

While typing this, I can’t stop crying. It hurts in a way that’s hard to put into words. But I also try to hold on to the thought that we gave him a good life, and he gave us something even better in return: loyalty, comfort, and a kind of love that never asked for anything.

I will miss you, Mac. Thank you for being part of our family and my life for so long. I will never forget you.

You were our last dog. And I don’t think I can go through this kind of loss again. It hurts too much when a pet this close to your heart is gone.

This was your very first photo when you were given to us. You were so cute here, and you were still so tiny.

Rest well, Mac. You’ll always be loved.

[dostoevsky-vinyl]

(I apologize for this being so early lmao)

Project Hail Mary mayhaps?

[samsedayon]

Dear me,

I know you’ve been carrying more than you admit. You smile through things that quietly exhaust you, stay strong when you really want rest, and keep going even when you feel unsure of where you’re headed. I need you to know that I see you.

You are not behind in life. You are growing at your own pace, even on days that feel slow and unproductive. Every mistake, every delay, every heartbreak has shaped you into someone more aware, more resilient, and more capable than you realize.

Please stop being so hard on yourself for not having everything figured out yet. Life is not a race, and healing is not linear. You are allowed to pause. You are allowed to change your mind. You are allowed to outgrow people, dreams, and versions of yourself that no longer fit who you’re becoming.

I hope you remember that your worth is not measured by your productivity, your salary, your appearance, or how much you do for other people. You deserve love, peace, and kindness simply because you exist.

There will be better days. Days where your chest feels lighter, where your laughter is genuine again, where you no longer question whether you are enough. And when those days come, I hope you look back at this version of yourself with compassion instead of criticism. You survived things that once felt impossible.

Thank you for not giving up.

Even when you were tired.

Even when you were disappointed.

Even when nobody noticed how hard you were trying.

I’m proud of you for staying.

Love,

Me

[samsedayon]

My skin came with its own constellation

I have five moles on my arm and if you squint, they form a triangle. I only noticed recently and now I can’t stop looking at them.

Like… my body just did that. On its own. No input from me whatsoever.

I started looking it up and apparently triangle-shaped mole patterns have a lot of meanings depending on who you ask. Some say it means you’re destined for something big. Some say triangles represent balance and strength. In some Filipino beliefs, mole clusters are actually considered lucky marks. And there’s this idea that moles are like your own personal star map, connected to the sky the night you were born.

Or it’s just biology and my melanin was being creative. That’s also valid.

Honestly I don’t know which one I believe but I’m going with the star map thing because that sounds way more interesting than the alternative.

Your body is out here doing little art projects on you without telling you. You just have to slow down enough to notice.

Check your skin. You might have a whole constellation on you too.

[samsedayon]

When “advice” stops feeling like care

Sometimes the hardest part of being in a relationship isn’t even the relationship itself, it’s the people who think they have a say in it. The in-laws who constantly suggest how things should be done, what decisions you should make, how you should live your life. Advice that isn’t asked for, repeated over and over like it’s something you’re obligated to follow.

At first, you try to understand. You tell yourself they mean well, that maybe it’s just their way of caring. So you listen, you nod, you try to be respectful even when it already feels like your own voice is getting smaller in the process.

But there’s a limit to patience. There’s a point where “suggestions” stop feeling like help and start feeling like control. When your own choices are constantly questioned, when your boundaries are ignored, when what you want is treated like it matters less just because they think they know better.

And it builds up quietly. The irritation, the frustration, the feeling of being cornered in your own life. Until one day you realize you’re no longer just annoyed, you’re exhausted. Drained from having to defend decisions that shouldn’t even need defending in the first place.

You’re allowed to choose your own way. You’re allowed to say no, even to people who expect you to always say yes. And most of all, you’re allowed to protect your peace, even if it means finally standing firm against voices that never learned how to listen.