#kadeuhq

[kadeuxhyeonju]

How are you feeling about the resistance right now? Do you wish they'd do more? Less? What about your personal involvement; do you wish you could do more?

So nosy, aren’t you? Well, I suppose I’m in a sharing mood. Honestly? I think the resistance could do more than they have. I’ve been part of their ranks for well over fifty years and yet the change they promised me and many others has yet to come. In fact, Kadeu is worse off than when I first joined. A civil war in one faction, a usurped demonic tyrant in another, a psychotic bastard running mine, and another that sits on its ass hardly doing much save for the occasional handout to low rankers. You would think the resistance would make strategic attacks, utilize their high ranker supporters more fully, protect their low rankers more efficiently, and yet...sigh...I find myself struggling not to voice my frustrations half the time. Do I wish they’d do more? Absolutely. But I am no leader, nor do I have any desire to be. I’ll continue to trust them and follow their orders so long as they continue to, at the very least, try. But I am growing tired of waiting and following and working my ass off only to be met with empty results. There’s only so much patience I have and I have very little of it to begin with.

If being more involved and making riskier choices is what it takes to make the resistance move and be one step closer to removing these damn tattoos from my person, I’ll gladly take up arms and do so. I left Spade because I despise fighting and the one braincell mindset of that faction, but it does have its uses--like helping organize fighters, spies, info dealers, finances, and the like. I used to deal in paperwork, but was also a dueling instruction as an assistant so maybe I could do something in either of those fields? Smuggling is also an option I suppose. I do that sometimes just to see if I can get away with it. I was sometimes a spy while working in the brothels, though they’d probably only be able to put me among high rankers now. Honestly, give me any job if it means making the resistance move faster and more efficiently. I don’t mind getting my hands dirty--not if it means breaking this curse and tearing factions out by their roots. And who knows? maybe I’ll get the pleasure of taking down an Ace or two...

[evaxsombra]

If you could regain your eyesight, would you? How high of a price would you be willing to pay if so?

I...I’m not sure. Everyone always told me my eyes couldn’t be fixed so I’ve just lived my life accepting that. And it hasn’t been that bad, don’t get me wrong. Sure, I think a lot of my struggles came from the fact I couldn’t see the world like everyone else. It made it harder to survive. I had to leave my first home because of it...and maybe my blindness is the reason my parents left....But a huge part of me is used to my life like this. I met my family and friends because of my blindness. My fighting style is centered around the fact I’m blind. I love the way I “see” the world with my other senses. And while maybe I would’ve become a Shifter faster with eyesight, I definitely wouldn’t have chosen the animals I did if I could see. I wouldn’t have Chupa! I wouldn’t have Prospero or Lilith. I wouldn’t be a Spade. So I guess my initial answer is no, but...

Do you mind if I tell you a secret? 

I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to see. Everyone is always talking around me about things I can’t really understand. People talk about how pretty the snow looks covering the mountains in winter. What does that look like? I know mountains are big and snow is white and trees are usually green or naked in the winter, but there’s no image in head to go with the description. I have to fill it in with my other senses. Or when I go to the Palace, I love listening to the voices, the movements, the shift in the atmosphere. It’s amazing! But so often, there’s these moments that happen that the audience is reacting to something that I can’t see and it can hard when there’s no one to describe what’s happening to me. There’s gaps I have to fill that make it hard to enjoy the play sometimes. 

I try not to let it get to me and most of the time I think I do a pretty good job of appreciating what I do have and what I can do. But in those moments...I can’t tell you how strong that feeling is--the longing to have my eyesight. Just shy of sacrificing my loved ones, I’d give up anything to see, even if just for a moment. And yet...I’m so scared of what I’ll see, that the shadows that are always around me will be even more terrifying when I can put names and faces to them. And I feel like my entire life has been defined by my blindness--my fighting style, my animals, the family and friends I’ve made, the scars--I’m afraid of who I’ll be when the one thing I’ve been certain of my entire life...disappears.

[gowyuko]

What’s The Most Beautiful Place You’ve Ever Seen?

A glance to the left, another one to the right, then back to where the voice came from as Gowyu made sure he was the one being spoken to. The men at either side of him seemed to also be watching him right back, as if they just knew this was going to be something that left Gowyu perplexed, and not in a positive way. Gowyu leaned back in the black leather material of his chair, quite comfortable, it made for great support, and made him feel even more above whatever was happening around him. Whether he indulged himself or not, that did not mean that people were allowed to simply talk to him or even worse present him with foolish questions. If this was a new face around here who simply did not of how things worked with him, Gowyu wouldn’t know, even keeping track of the ones who he’d met more often was lost on him. If he remembered you, chances were, the reasons for that were favorable. At least not for the remembered party. 

But back to this nonsense. 

“You must be the kind of lunatic that no one wants to think even exists to have the nerves be asking me something as nonsensical, and looking at me like you really think I’m going to give you an answer.” He leaned forward, elbows on his knees as he went on, keeping a steady gaze on them, enough to have the satisfaction of having them glancing nervously around the room, which of course, no one would give Gowyu or this person the satisfaction of acting like they were on board with him. 

The cigarette he had in his hand was lightly tossed at the person who had spoken, the distance between them would not allow it to land on them, and that was not because of their luck. Gowyu rose from his seat and turned back on his heels to find a quieter spot, away from the smoke and drugs laid out in front of the group leisurely laying about the couches, or the carpet available in the room. Tonight was not a business night, see, he was simply there to be there. If a surprising offer fell on his lap, he would welcome it, no doubt about it. Until then he might want to avoid the likes of these weak minded slums thinking about the most worthless shit to exist in this world, and growing braver from the influence of whatever they were snorting or smoking. 

[croupiex]

a shifter’s fortune — is there anything about your life right now that you wish to change?

the façade: “Given the fair pricing of potatoes, I wish I enjoyed them more than I do”.

➵　factcheck! this is a lie. Cassius has no intention of ever enjoying potatoes. they taste like nothing.

the candid truth: “Well, what can I change? The colour of my hair? My wardrobe? The layout of my bedroom? I don’t have the freedom to make an entire lifestyle change beyond ‘be better’ unless I’m content fucking off and living as a hermit in Umibe”.

[lukef]

When do you feel the most in control?

cassius.

the name shoots through his head within seconds. when i’m with cassius would have been his reply two or three months ago. before his parents passed, before they had the fight. the fear in the human’s eyes, the way he stepped back because of the rising temperature. 

luke’s apartment is dark. he’s sitting where cassius sat months ago, on the chair next to the window of his living room. the blinds are pulled down halfway and the rest of the light shows his eye bags, his pale skin. he’s both restless and weak, hasn’t really found peace since the announcement he received that morning. he doesn’t even dare to think of sleeping, has already accepted what is yet to come. there’s no fire emitting his hands, nothing like the usual. no heat radiating off his body. he is as vulnerable as a human and everyone who wanted could take advantage of that right now.

so when does he feel the most in control? when he’s like this, mana channels not functioning? or when he’s with cassius, knowing that something could happen every second? when he’s with his grandfather, the only person he trusts to fight back, to be able to protect himself all of sudden?

it’s as if the fresh burn wounds are pulsing on his back. the thought of the pain brings him back to reality, makes him take a few deep breaths before he sorts his words and settles for an answer.

who said i ever felt in control.

“oh..there’s this one person, one person that makes me feel in control. i know they’re as afraid as everyone else, but there’s something about them..that makes me feel safe.”

and maybe when he’s with asra, too. 

but only a little.

[saygeko]

wreathed in orange — is there someone you trust so much, you’ll follow them blindly?

wreathed in orange — is there someone you trust so much, you’ll follow them blindly?

"My own fortune." She said, and no other word followed after. It wasn't someone else but herself. If she was doomed, then let it come.

[mallickshah]

What have you learned about life from kids?

Mallick had always been surrounded by children. From his own brothers, to his cousins, to his nephews, they seemed to be a big part of his life, and that was absolutely true. He also tended to enjoy mixing himself with their lots, soaking in that very essence of joy they carried without a worry for what the world offered. If they worried for a bit, something small given to them would be valuable enough to quiet their sorrows. The same could be said for if they were content with life, just a bit of a shake to their world could be enough to have them bawling as if it was the end of their existence. 

Their emotions ran high and low, they were not the kind to stay still in the middle. It was always this or that, now or never. The biggest of gestures could be considered with eyes that understood none of it, but a simple warm embrace could linger in their memory for years to come and they would always seek it whenever they saw you again. What had he learned about life from kids? That to take in the present, in the way it was, find the grasp on the moment one was living now and not think of the ones that were to come, made life easier, and richer. 

“That when you get hurt,” And he was going to say this with the biggest grin, and a bit of cheek for his companion, but it was not a mockery from his part. “You just need to cry about it and get something sweet to make things better afterwards.”

[kadeuyongsun]

(  @kadeuhq​ : how have sunny's romantic and sexual relationships shaped them ? from mun's point of view ? from sunny's ?  )

     from sunny’s point of view, there was a time when he tried to not put too much emphasis on any romantic or sexual encounter. he tried his damnedest to not let them effect him in any way, because to him, they hadn’t meant anything. he spent a lot of time when he was younger in the red light district ( something he prefers to keep hush - hush, the only people who really knows being sully and anton, he’s even kept it hidden from ara ) ; none of those encounters meant anything. he was at his worst back then, struggling to cope with damn near everything that was happening in his life, and that resulted in him turning towards ... unsavory activities. with that being said, though, those moments taught him that he couldn’t use sex to fill whatever void he had in his soul. and then he met sullivan, when sunny thought he was at his absolute WORST after everything that’d been happening with byeol, and things were ... different. it became the first relationship he ever had that was a genuine slow - burn, that actually felt like it meant something. when sunny realized he’d caught genuine feelings for sullivan, he really kicked his ass into gear. this is not to say that sullivan saved him, particularly, but that sullivan helped sunny in saving himself. it was the first time someone ( besides ara, of course ) truly stuck by his side and saw it through that he begin to better himself. sullivan brings the young, dumb actor an overwhelming amount of ease and comfort, that he never truly thought possible. yongsun has a long string over lovers that are subpar at best, but being with sullivan is the first time he’s felt genuine love.

                              —————

     from clown town’s point of view, i think that all relationships and bonds that sunny has formed are very important to him, and have shaped him in different ways. of course, he’s fallen madly in love with sullivan and he’s pretty sure there’s nothing in this world that could change that, but more importantly ... the platonic bonds are what have shaped him and changed them the most. his bond with ara has taught him to see the bigger picture and appreciate things ( especially himself ) more than he ever did in the past, his friendship with anton is ... quite frankly, hilarious, but also essential in helping sunny see past the veil that are the rose - colored glasses he wears on the daily. and when it comes to sullivan, i think that ... sunny, in a way, has changed for the better ? he’s learned to love harder, fiercely, with every fiber of his being. he’s learned what it’s like to truly fear losing a lover, and wanting to be the best version of himself he can be, and i think that’s important for someone like sunny. sunny spent a lot of his life in the dark and used to getting exactly what he wanted, especially when he worked his ass off for it, but falling in love with sullivan was one of the easiest things he’d ever done. that boy genuinely means the world to sunny, and i could probably rant about them for days, BUT Y’KNOW ... the way sunny cares about everyone in his life has shaped him and changed him in a million different ways, and i’m glad that he’s got people in his life that make him want to be better.