Inspired by this song ---> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_pEiTSW4UI&index=1&list=FLKwpeS62mdgd_bNoMlvd3OQ
Kaidan is not mine, he is a mod created by the amazing Liv. Highly recommended.
Ren smiled gently, warmly, like a caress. “You’re a good man, Kai. You can’t expect yourself to always be perfect.” The breton stood, the height change not much. The book he was reading earlier lies in his hand, pushed against his chest. “The only thing you can do to try and redeem yourself is learn from your past mistakes, but in my opinion you have nothing to redeem.” He held out his hand towards Kaidan who looked down at it with slight amazement. Ren’s hand looked smooth except for the long scar on the palm, a residue of the Thalmor. “Let’s go, it’s getting late and I think we deserve and nice bed for the night.”
Kaidan took his hand and stood up from the log he had situated himself on. “Thank you, for,” Kaidan paused a sense of embarrassment swelling his tongue. Ren just shrugged, his smile still on and radiating a warm aura. Hand in hand, Ren lead them towards the nearest town which just happened to be Windhelm.
They had gone out to do something, something college related. At the beginning, when Kaidan found out about Ren’s preference for magic, he couldn’t help but get a foul taste in his mouth. He tried his best to place a wall in between them, to prevent from last time, but damn that Ren, damn him for causing the warmth to rise in Kaidan’s cheeks. To catch the warrior off guard was unnerving to him and no matter how many walls, the many preventions, Ren still found a work around. All it took was a smile, the reach of his hand, the calm look in his eye and Kaidan knew that he wouldn’t be judged.
“Every object has multiple purposes, swords can be used to kill or protect, magic to heal or destroy. It’s the humans who have the true power to create good and evil. Magic in the hands of a necromance is just as inherently evil as a sword wielded by a bandit.”
The words, Ren’s words, echoed in Kaidan’s ears, they tortured and mended him. Just as holding the male’s hand was torture just as it was comfort.
Ren turn his head, looking over his shoulder at Kaidan, the burn marks noticeable from the shadows that fell on the small breton. Kaidan resisted the urge to touch, to caress, to comfort. He imagined the skin to be rough, strangely warm still as if the fire never left, it would have it’s own pulse, it’s own heat. Like a heartbeat in a way. To many it was an ugly mush of skin, burnt and scarred, nothing to be cherished or praised for, but they didn’t really see. They didn’t look.
“One room is fine, thank you.” Kaidan hardly noticed the entry into Windhelm nor the words of the person who ran the inn. No, it was the one room that caught him off guard.
They stepped into their room shedding off their bags and any unnecessary equipment. For Kaidan it was his armor, feeling a bit weird to be in only his underclothes. Ren only shedded the long jacket, his lightning bolt like scars now revealed, a consequence to his magic using. The burns on his left arm were there too, tempting Kaidan to touch.
From upstairs music started to play, the energetic kind that got some of the people to start laughing wildly. “Let’s go get something to eat!” Ren’s words were happy, cheering on as the thin male vanished from the room, followed by the muscular Kaidan who let out a small laugh.
There was a table in the corner that was free and from there they ordered a bowl of warm soup and nonalcoholic beverages. Ren sat in the corner seat, his back protected from any attack from behind, this fact made Kaidan relax a bit as he watched Ren’s face.
Ren’s eyes were on the bard who was singing, her words captivating him. A book sat closed in front of him, in front of him one hand was laid out open while the rubbed over the scar. To people who didn’t know him, he look absolutely in love - they’ve never seen him with a new book - but Kaidan knew better. Kaidan looked deeper, into the brown eyes that first comforted him in that prison, the same ones that held no judgement as he told his past, and the same ones that held an abyss of mixed emotions as Ren spoke of his scars.
“My mother use to sing this song, especially after my sister and I had some stupid fight and she would drag us both dancing while she sang, totally off beat and let’s not talk about how my mother could not hold a note.” Both men chuckled.
Their food arrived shortly after the songs end and they at, conversing about happier topics, Kaidan’s eyes occasionally falling to Ren’s moving ones or to the scars on his palms following the lightning flow, which was sometimes disrupted by the burnt flesh, and to the burn on Ren’s cheeks. Ren was speaking of happier topics, his time at the college during his younger years, the trouble he and his fellow students got into, Kaidan appreciated the warmth on Ren’s face, the happiness that was infectious. By the end of their meal both of them were laughing and sharing stories, drinking to themselves and watching the occasional bard show in silence.
Eventually it became silent in the inn, the music kept coming and Kaidan listened and watched while Ren went to his book, a small mix of expression coming over his face as he slowly delve into his book, strands of his brown hair fell from his bun, soft and tempting. Kaidan was about to suggest they think about going to bed when two men came towards them, faces red from alcohol. They were nords, it was obvious by their built and fair hair.
“You’re a mage.” The shorter of the two stated, sounding pleased with himself.
Ren didn’t even look up from his book, his face completely undisturbed. “Thank you for noticing.”
The small nord scowled. “It wasn’t a compliment!” Ren’s only reply was a shrug and the nord began to step forward.
Kaidan stepped in between the two, him towering the poor sod with an intimidating expression. Ren put his book down. “I wouldn’t take another step closer if I were you.”
It was the tall nord who took a step forward meeting Kaidan eye to eye. “If I were you, I would get out of the way.”
“Unlike you, I’m not a milkdrinker.”
There was fast movement, the guy swung his fist, Ren stood up, Kaidan’s fist made contact. Now there was contact, Ren’s hand on Kaidan’s arm, the smooth one, the unburnt hand. The book was laying unceremoniously on the ground. “Kai, let’s go to our room.” A demand more than a suggestion, hidden well. Ren was not look at Kaidan when he said this, his brown eyes held a straight gaze on the two nords, his emotions and thoughts unreadable.
Kaidan allowed himself to be lead away, watching the two nords closely. That’s how he saw the movement of the smaller one, his eyes squared on Ren. “I’m not done talking with you, mage!”
Instinct took over Kaidan as he pushed Ren behind him and moved his own fist which made contact with the side of the smaller nords face. He stumbled back and leff over the edge, landing on the stairs. The only sound he made was a groan. The bigger nord ran towards his buddy and helped him up. “You’ll regret this!” He claimed like a horrible villain in a corny book and left.
Ren sighed. “Let’s get some rest.” He grabbed his book, which he had left lying on the floor. He looked up at Kaidan and noticed the heavy look on the tall man’s face. Ren smiled and touched his arm, comforting and warm. “It’s okay. They’re the ones who started it anyways, you were just doing what you felt was right.” With that the male took Kaidan’s hand and left the upstairs area.
As soon as they were in the room, Ren pushed Kaidan to the bed, sitting him down and looking him over. “What are you doing?” Kaidan question, allowing the small touches from the Breton, from both hands this time. No answer and no more questions as Ren investigated, his eyes scrutinizing.
When he was done, Ren sat next to him and smiled. “No, wounds to heal up. You’re fit as a lute.”
Kaidan looked at Ren, then subconscious too a quick glance at his hands. “You shouldn’t do that. No matter how badly I’m hurt.”
Ren looked away, his gaze towards the way. “It’s not your decision.” His tone was soft, not derogatory or hurtful. He was right, Kaidan had no control of his actions, but Kaidan knew better.
Quiet hung over them, comforting, wrapping them up in a solitary blanket. Ren rubs one of his palms. Kaidan looks over, it’s the burnt hand that lays palm up. There’s a soft smell of smoke, or a memory of it. It takes all of his strength not to take Ren’s hands, to face the wounded palms towards him, to trace the marks that crawled on the breton’s skin.
“Let’s get some rest.” As Kaidan said those words he began to stand up, but a hand grabbed him. A soft unburnt hand. He look over at Ren.
“It’s cold and the floor is hard.” Kaidan stood frozen, looking into Ren’s eyes. Brown and warm, he wanted to look into them forever. There was no reply as Kaidan took his seat back. “Thank you,” relief, that was the sound that those words made. “Let’s get to sleep.” Ren laid down, his movements undisturbed, emotions kept in check, it was like second nature. Kaidan waited till he was settled before doing the same, laying face to face with him. “Sweet dreams, Kai.” The male could not reply, his words caught up as he watched Ren closed his eyes, his body feeling incredibly small compared to his.
Kaidan laid there, listening to Ren’s soft breathes. He tried to keep his eyes closed and for a time he was successful, he was almost asleep when he felt movement towards him, soft shuffling, arms wrapping around him. When he opened his eyes, Ren was closer than before, nuzzling his face into Kaidan’s chest. Kaidan froze, he knew what to do, he had done it before, but this was different, completely different. It took a moment of calming down before Kaidan finally wrapped his arm around Ren, feeling more of the breton’s warmth.
If this was all the touch he could have, even in this moment, Kaidan felt that he could die happy with this moment in the back of his head.
Let my heart be your shelter
Let these bones be the giver
Let this soul be your whisper
You can take it all, you can take it all
Let my heart be your shelter
