A/N: it's been ages since I watched this anime and I didn't even finish it fkdnfkfnf but I hope I made them justice and you enjoy this one, Maaaax mwah 💕
Summary: Daisuke likes to badmouth Haru's house, but he's a sensitive man... In more than one way.
Words: 1.9k
This wasn't supposed to be happening. They were just having a good time with a few beers, (Haru), chatting about this and that at Haru’s home. However, without warning, the atmosphere turned tense and both men got caught up in an argument, unable to stop their words before they started saying hurtful things at each other.
“It's not my fault you live in this mediocre mouse hole," Daisuke said, his tone a little too cold and condescending as he crossed his arms and looked away from Haru.
Haru couldn't help but feel upset. He thought he'd grown used to Kambe's hurtful comments, but he was sorely mistaken. It still affected him, perhaps a bit too much, especially when Kambe felt the need to remind Haru of their financial differences.
Haru never really minded the size of his own house. It was true, it wasn't the biggest house, but it was his home, somewhere he could return to when the days were too long and tiring. A place where he could have a meal and a drink and a bed to sleep.
Who gave Kambe the right to talk about Haru's house like that? Why would a kid born with a silver spoon in his mouth come and comment on anything about his house? The audacity to disrespect Haru while wearing his clothes, eating his food and drinking his water.
Haru started to feel less tipsy than he was angry, but he still knew he wouldn't be able to formulate words to fight Kambe. So he just pouted, hugging his knees to his chest, as if subconsciously trying to make more room for Kambe so he would stop badmouthing his home. He turned his head away to avoid looking into his eyes.
Silence filled the room, the only sound that could be heard was their breathing and Haru taking sips of his beer. He could feel Kambe's eyes on him, studying him, and when Haru glanced at him from the corner of his eye, he was almost sure he saw a hint of regret in his eyes. It could have just been the light, though.
“Listen,” Kambe said with a sigh. “I-,” he sighed again and Haru was almost sure Daisuke would groan at any moment. “I'm sorry, okay? I shouldn't have said that… It was dumb…”
Haru wanted to accept the apology, after all he had also been saying some not very nice things about Kambe, but that apology struck him as fake and in his current state, (drunk), it almost sounded as if Kambe was making fun of him.
Now it was Haru who wanted to groan. His pout became more prominent as did the frown on his brow. He took another swig of beer and tossed the can somewhere across the room while grabbing and opening another, taking a long sip, as if he wanted to gather the strength to speak again… but no words came out of his mouth.
Kambe had not only offended his house, his home, he had also trampled on his pride and one did not recover easily from that. Wasn't it only fair that Haru made him beg a little longer? A second or third, (more sincere), apology would surely convince him.
“Kato, listen, I-”
“Kato Haru. 30 years old. Day of birth May 2nd. Blood type A.”
Haru looked up as HEUSC spoke over Kambe’s voice. Materialized in front of Kambe, who looked as surprised as Haru, was a green screen with the silhouette of a man right in the center, flanked by Haru's personal information. It was only then that Haru realized, with a jolt of surprise, that the silhouette was his own.
He frowned in confusion, struggling to understand the words that, from his perspective, appeared to be written in reverse. What on earth possessed HEUSC to share his personal information? And what was the meaning of those strange yellow markings on the silhouette of his body?
“What are you doing, Kambe?” He asked, his words a bit slurred.
Daisuke shook his head. “HEUSC is acting on its own. I'm not-"
“Kato Haru,” HEUSC repeated. “Member of the Modern Crime Prevention Task Force's Metropolitan Police Department. Hobbies and skills include judo and self-cooking to save money.”
Haru blushed. “Hey! That's not-”
“Physical weakness: tickling.” HEUSC's monotonous voice said and Haru widened his eyes.
Daisuke's eyes also widened slightly as another green screen appeared before him. Haru leaned closer to see it was a zoom in of the upper part of his silhouette, the yellow markings seemed to pulsate as if signaling a target. Haru frowned depended and his eyes widened in alarm as his heart skipped a beat within his chest. No… those markings… HEUSC wouldn't-
“Kato Haru's body exhibits heightened sensitivity in the following areas in the torso: armpits, ribcage, waist, and hips,” HEUSC said, the yellow areas turning to red as another screen appeared before Kambe, showing Haru's silhouette from hips to feet. “Additionally, inner thighs, back of the knees, and feet have been identified as sensitive areas in Kato Haru's lower body.”
Haru gasped, suddenly feeling sober as his cheeks flushed red. “HEUSC, stop! What the hell are you-”
“Data extraction from Kato Haru's childhood files reveals an episode where anger was triggered by a friend, resulting in the administration of a tickling game as a calming measure.”
Haru was dumbfounded. “How the hell do you know- what do you mean ‘childhood files’-!”
“Behavioral analysis reveals that Kato Haru exhibits a high affinity for tickling, indicating a strong positive emotional association. Categorizing it as a preferred sensory experience.”
Silence fell over the room once again, Haru couldn't even hear his own breathing as he tried to understand what had happened. How did HEUSC know—no, why was it saying all that?!
Haru tried to say something, but he could only open and close his mouth a couple of times, he was speechless.
“Are you saying…” Kambe started and Haru flinched when their eyes met, the smirk on Kambe’s face was not adorable at all. “That to make Kato happy again, I must tickle him?”
“No!”
“Affirmative, high probability,” HEUSC said, all screens disappearing at once.
“That is not at all correct!” Haru nearly squeaked, his face impossibly red as he eyed Daisuke. “Why did HEUSC say all of that?! And how the hell did it know about- don't you even dare!”
Daisuke looked like a wild animal about to pounce on its prey. Haru tried to get up, but Kambe was faster. The detective grabbed him by the ankle, causing Haru to fall against the wooden floor with a loud thud, and dragged him until he could trap his feet in an arm lock.
Haru gasped, his lips trembling in a stupid smile of anticipation. “I swear! If you dare to touch me, I'll- hahahaha! I fuhuhucking hahahate you!”
Haru squeaked as helpless peals of laughter poured out of his lips while Kambe's fingers skittered up and down his socked soles. With almost terrifying precision, Daisuke's fingers wiggled under Haru's toes, nearly driving him crazy with laughter only after a couple of seconds.
Haru squirmed like a worm, trying to free his legs from Daisuke's grip, but damn was that trust fund kid strong. He somehow managed to tickle both his feet with just one hand and leave Haru nearly cackling.
“K-Kahahambe! I'm seheherious! No! Dohohon't you dahahare! Plehehehase!” He begged as he felt Kambe pulling off one of his socks.
Haru curled his toes tightly to prevent him from pulling the sock off completely, but Daisuke only needed to tickle his bare arch to have his toes spreading in ticklish desperation, making the sock fall in a second.
“What's more ticklish?” Daisuke asked, his deep voice with a hint of playfulness and teasing that made Haru shiver. “With the sock on or off? On. Off. On. Off. On. Off.” He mumbled, jumping from one foot to the other. Haru pounded his fist against the floor, tears of laughter already clinging to his lashes.
“Ohohohoff! You bahahastard, I'm- nohot the tohohohes! Ahahaha!” His legs shook as he wrapped one arm around his sore stomach. “Kahahambe, I swehehear- ahahaha!”
He could not continue speaking because Kambe had left his feet to straddle his shins and use his thumbs to massage that muscle on the back of Haru's knees.
Haru jolted, nearly laughing his head off as his feet kicked against the floor. Kambe was merciless, pinching and rubbing the spot as if he did that all day, every day.
Haru had really forgotten how ticklish he was. It had been a long time since someone had tickled him, and that moment in his life that HEUSC had mentioned had been almost completely forgotten.
Almost was the key word. He never forgot the times he was tickled and that was because, no matter how embarrassing it felt to admit it even to himself, he loved being tickled. Not only did it feel good, somehow, in his skin, but it also made him feel... warm. The thought that someone wanted to make him laugh made him feel loved… but that wasn't something he was going to admit to Kambe.
So he would just laugh and act like he really hated it, knowing very well that he couldn't make a fool of Daisuke.
“HEUSC was right, huh?” Daisuke said, scribbling the back of Haru's knees, making him shriek with laughter. “Next spot was…”
Haru blushed, thankful that Daisuke didn't tickle his inner thighs and instead moved higher to get his hips. He bucked and suddenly thought that spot was just as terribly embarrassing as his inner thighs.
“Kahahahambe!” He laughed out, growing a little weak. “Dohohon't!”
Daisuke actually chuckled, not maliciously, to Haru's surprise. “Do you forgive me?”
Haru laughed, pressing his face against the floor as Daisuke pinched his hips. “Y-Your ahahapology is nohohot- AHAHAHA!” He cackled, his arms pressing against his sides as he felt Daisuke's hands squeezing and wiggling against his waist
“Do you forgive me?” Kambe repeated.
“Yohohou’re a pahaha- AHAHAHA! N-Nohoho, plehehehase!” Now those wiggling fingers moved to his ribcage, playing with each bone carefully, pulling out the strongest cackle out of Haru he could muster. “Fihihine! FIHIHIHINE!” He laughed, tears of mirth streaming down his face.
“I fohohorgive yohohou! I FOHOHORGIVE yohohou!” He cackled, squirming weakly and nearly sobbing as Daisuke tickled him for a bit more, spearing his poor armpits.
“Thank you,” Daisuke said, stopping the tickling and moving off the other. Haru collapsed onto the floor, breathing heavily with a silly smile on his face. “I'm truly sorry.”
Haru looked at him through tears and saw the sincerity in Daisuke's eyes. He sighed, rolling his eyes playfully.
“I won't invite you ever again if you say something like that again,” Haru said, sitting up once he had calmed down.
Daisuke also rolled his eyes, a smile on his lips. “It's not that I want to be-
“Kambe Daisuke's body exhibits heightened sensitivity in the following areas–”
“HEUSC!” Kambe shrieked, covering his earring to shut the butler.
Haru laughed and launched at him, wrestling his arm down.
“Keep talking, HEUSC! Keep talking!”
It seemed that Haru's small house was big enough for two grown men to roll around and laugh on the floor. Well, after all… without those elevated shoes, Daisuke looked like the owner of that mouse hole!
So, you're telling me Kambe took Haru with him to see his dad for the first time in decades? When, before, he tried to push Haru out of this investigation!?? Allowing himself to be seen in a vulnerable situation by Haru??? And I'm supposed to not lose my absolute mind about this???
