What if the whole Michael is John is kind of already known. No dramatic reveal just, ‘yeah, after I set up the foundation I just wanted to practice medicine and not be bothered so I changed my name to my grandmother’s maiden name and my cousin’s middle name’. God tier dad-lore but not all that important in the grand scheme of things, especially when they realized he couldn’t magically make the department’s funding woes disappear.
Until a new Chief of Surgery was announce.
Michael/John sends him a courtesy heads up email, little does he know he’s just open Pandora’s Box. Now Peter know exactly what he’s walking into, and he wants to see Michael/John like in old times. Hence him actually going down to the ED.
Jack and Peter meet early on and immediately start bickering over who gets Michael/John. I’m talking Brandi and Monica ‘The Boy is Mine’ level of fighting. The best part is both refuse to consider they have a crush on the guy. Nope, this beef is strictly born out of the heterosexual, 100% platonic friendship they have with Michael/John.
Meanwhile Michael/John is drooling and over the two hottest guys he knows being in the same room together. Bless his heart he doesn’t even clock the chaos he’s created. He just goes about life, complimenting one in front of the other, being competent, bemoaning the fact no one finds him attractive literally half the hospital wants to jump his bones, inviting them (both together and separately) out for drinks where they stare into each others’s eyes for too fucking long to be considered platonic.
Ahmad has a board. Dana’s considering quitting again. Princess and Perlah have become the designated Love Triangle news source, Ellis is their night shift correspondent. Shen acts as a mole and spills all the tea about what goes down in attending meetings (so much passive aggressive insults, they could give a southern prayer circle a run for their money). Santos can’t decide if she’s upset with her self for not realizing Robby’s bi or impressed he managed to hide it given the bi disaster energy he emits. Whitaker’s given up and is just shooting sad puppy dog eyes at Robby every chance he gets. Langdon’s now forced to confront why he was so desperate for Robby’s approval and immediately bounced back when Jack complimented him. Javadi has psychological notes on them, she’s debating on trying to publish. McKay’s just watching and laughing, she’s editing Javadi’s potential paper. Al-Hashimi just wants to keep this ED fucking running (maybe it would be fun to fuck with the guys, Robby still owes her that drink. In their free time of course, she’s a professional).
The Pitt has effectively declared war with surgery. The casualties are staggering. Walsh has allied herself with Benton on the principle of ‘do whatever pisses off Abbot the most’. Garcia is, in a shocking twist, neutral.
They’ve effectively turned the hospital into a war zone. Gloria and HR consider early retirement daily.
Everyone’s put out of their misery when the two repressed jackasses get their shit together and everyone enjoys a nice trip to Paris.