Due to advice from close advisers and mutuals I will be trying out gender fluidity and all pronouns for the time being. Any interactions to assist in this endeavor will be greatly appreciated
Reading: Oh man, I am not a very big reader, aghsjk. The latest work I've read was stuff my friends have been writing! -- But if we're talking published books, the last physical book I picked up to read is Gideon the Ninth, though!! Still have yet to work my way through it.
Last Series: I'm so hashtag series pilled LMAO. The most recent one I watched was The Pitt, but I've also been on a big anime kick lately. Working my way through Gachiakuta and Attack on Titan rn. I'm also throwing The Mighty Nein animated series in here even though I already finished watching all that was available because oh my lord, hello autism reawakening. Love those guys sm !!! everyone go watch my darlings
Last Movie: IRON LUNG!! Great movie, highly recommend if you're into horror !! :D
Last Song: Telesto Teles by Kairiki Bear !!
Sweet or Salty: Sweet!
Coffee or Tea: Unfortunately, I am not a tea nor a coffeehead LOL I'm a juice and milk kinda guy...
hello do you have any thoughts to share on heart and spade ✨👀 idk what specific questions to ask I just keep seeing them and they’re So Good. I’m like deeply obsessed with them dare I say
Kicking my feet!!! OH I have SO many thoughts about them (and I was actually planning on reblogging one of those oc question memes thangs for em once artfight concludes! if anyone would be interested in that ofc!)
But!! I think a good place to start would be just kinda explaining them a little better here, I reckon! Get ready for some reading!! 💖✨ thank you in advance if you read all of this!! they consume my waking moments
Part One: The Beginnings (and "The Incident")
Heart and Spade grew up as childhood friends... and when they finally outgrew their hometown, they left together, eventually ending up forming their identities as Spade and Heart: two gambling addicts turned outlaws. A couple of charming hustlers looking for their next jackpot with a little mischief. They thought themselves completely untouchable until their luck finally ran out.
Something to note about the world the Jokers hail from is that it's positively rife with the supernatural... and while most folks live their lives without having ever experienced something themselves outside of old stories, many still find themselves entangled with these things before they can even realize it's too late.
Which is what happened to our boys!
They happened to sit down at the wrong table with the wrong fella- neither recognized how off this stranger looked until the moment Heart cheated and was instantly shot dead with his own gun. Only then did Spade see how inhuman its amber eyes were, the fuzzy jaw, the sharp teeth curled in a smile. Sitting across from them was The Coyote, an entity that embodied luck itself. And those hubristic few, like Spade and Heart, always find their way to its table and end up being ruined. Humbled and brought back down to earth with a crash. Heart believed himself above the rules of the table: No cheating. And he paid the ultimate price. (If you wanna read Heart's POV on this moment, click here!! My friend wrote it!)
But then Spade was offered a chance to amend this... to now play for Heart's life back, so long as he wished to make a significant bet and play by the game's rules. Having no time to grieve, to think, just overwhelmed with the desire to get his companion back (they're scarily codependent), Spade puts his own heart up as a wager. A heart for his Heart. And miraculously, Spade ends up winning the game.
Heart comes back with Spade's heart now beating within his chest, granting his body its life back, but putting Spade one foot in the grave. But it didn't matter because they were together again.
However, Spade soon realizes Heart didn't come back alone. There's a dark force looming over his partner, something that obscures his features from Spade, no matter how much he tries to look around it. A separate entity (later to be known as 'The House') ended up tagging a ride as Heart's soul returned, claiming his body as its vessel. The only thing now stopping it from completely overtaking him is the warm heart that now sits in his chest.
Part Two: It Gets Really Looney Tunes in Here for a Second (but it's also complicating their situation so much more):
Not long after the Jokers had their incident in that private room, they had to quickly turn tail and start running again after a man from their past had come to claim a bounty on their heads. (His name is Whitestone! But I'd need a whole other post to explain his deal with the Jokers LOL)
In their efforts to get away, they made it to a ranch and were able to snag one of the horses and hoof it. However, as it turns out, this horse was actually a shapeshifter, and the ranch they had raided belonged to none other than Wilder, an occultist who made a hobby out of breeding and raising these creatures. And shapeshifters feed on misfortune and negative energy, and the entity currently entwined with Heart's soul was practically made of the stuff.
Spade only realized something was wrong with the "horse" far too late, being able to see its true form with his Supernatural Sight... but by then, the horse was stuck with them. Feeding off of the entity, which would in turn make Heart pretty sick... So now the mission for Spade becomes: get rid of that damn horse. He has to keep The House alive so that Heart can stay alive.
The task of getting rid of the shapeshifter proved difficult though. The "horse" makes itself look extremely decrepit to make selling it or giving it away basically impossible. And it would just follow after them if they tried anyways. All the while, the Jokers are being hunted down by Whitestone, and now Wilder as well, because he wants his shapeshifter back. The Jokers can't even return the creature to him because there's a crazy man with a gun pointed at their heads in that direction LOL-- So now you see the conundrum!
Part Three (they're so doomed, chat, it's getting bad!):
Spade begins doing everything in his power to keep this entity alive, and he also begins trying to speak with it when it's around, trying to understand it... and trying to cut some kind of deal for Heart, to grant him more time as himself.
All the while, he and Heart do not discuss their respective experiences with The House. Heart's having dreams where he can see it, see the void he was sent to when he died, but he refuses to believe anything is actually wrong with him (rather he just denies it, he's not a fool he just... is a good liar, even to himself)... even when he's spitting black ichor and blacking out frequently, losing time, doing things that he doesn't remember doing.
Spade doesn't talk about communicating with this entity at all, never lets Heart know he can see it or even that it's in him,,, because he wants to fix it all on his own. Because he feels like this must be partly his fault, Heart ending up with this thing in him just because Spade couldn't let him go. But also, how could he ever explain why he did what he did? The enormity of it all? And the enormity of what he feels now, even trying to look at Heart and only seeing The House. Not to mention... Spade never grieved the loss; he never had the chance. Heart was gone and then back again in the next moment, but he still seemed out of reach. And Spade just knew that he needed to Fix It. Get rid of this thing between them, then it can all go back to normal.
So he closes himself off in a way and distance builds between them as they don't communicate for the first time ever in their lives. The first time they're not both in on the "bit." And it eats them both up inside, but they try to keep up those poker faces because what else can you do? Bide their time. Unfortunately, though... time is a precious thing we all have a limited amount of.
Shit eventually hits the fan, they reach their breaking point, missing each other so badly and having this Thing between them finally shoved right in their faces- so neither could avoid it nor deny it. And they play a game of Go Fish, like they used to as kids. And they talk, finally.
It was a start. A start over. But it was soon to be the end.
The House eventually finds another vessel, and when it pulls out of Heart, his body/soul is far too weak to carry on, and he succumbs. But... this time, he and Spade have enough time to hold each other and tell one another what they really feel. To quit beating around the bush when it comes to their feelings for each other. They won't have another chance after this.
(AH... but, spoiler: they actually Do have another chance later on! Heart comes back as a ghost down the line- it's a whole thang. again, that would require a separate post to explain LMFAO but!!! they WILL get their happy ending, it just takes like so so so much pain and adjustment to get to it. the torment nexus has its claws in them frfr)
ANYWAYS... Things I think about A Lot:
After making his deal to get Heart back, Spade doesn't have a heartbeat, having given his literal heart to his partner. He also becomes somewhat cold to the touch, in addition to having the life dull from his eyes. A symptom of having one foot in the grave, allowing him to see what exists between the material and ethereal planes. (Spade has supernatural vision! It was a "boon" granted to him after playing a fair game with The Coyote.)
Heart's features are obscured from Spade when he looks at him because Spade can see supernatural entities/forces now, and when the House is not possessing Heart, it just clings to him like a shadow. It drives Spade mad that the only time he can see Heart's features again is when the entity disappears inside of him and puppets him around.
The entity inside of Heart is known as The House! (Because The House always wins.) -- It enjoys toying around with Spade, who can always see it exactly for what it is, even when it tries to pretend to be Heart. Using his voice and his face to taunt Spade, saying things he wished he could hear from the real Heart. (You'll notice I tag things with Ship: Jokers and Ship: Three of a Kind. Both of those tags reference Spade and Heart, but the latter references The House as being part of that dynamic too !! World's most fucked up polycule that's not a polycule, it's just like receiving a wretched third that likes to torment you)
Spade can only look Heart in the eye for an extended period when he's drunk. It's difficult for him to meet Heart's eyes outside of that because... he can only be reminded of how Wrong things are. And he's just been sitting with that knowledge on his own, trying desperately to resolve it by himself.
Their breaking point occurs when Heart sees the entity's reflection in Spade's eyes when they're just a bit too close one night... and suddenly everything gets thrown out onto the table. Realizing they both knew about this and both made the conscious effort to not bring it up to the other man. Realizing how truly distant they'd become. That they let this thing keep them apart,,, even though losing each other is their greatest fear above all else.
UGH i'm sick. sickkkkkk in the head about these guys. thank you so much for reading all of this if you made it this far!!! they're my sillies <33 i know this is just like an insane amount of angst that i've just written out but i promise they are also goofy as hell AHGSHJDK
y’all wanna know what kinda bullshit im on at work today??? guys I was just called pretentious by a coworker because i got excited about the free samples for Stella & chewys (my employer is going to start carrying them soon so they sent us a pr package). Like yes how pretentious of me to feed my babes some of the most high quality kibble on the market. how pretentious of me to know that it has one of the best ingredients lists out there that you can buy at big box stores HOW FUCKING PRETENTIOUS OF ME im on the red wave and im in my easy to anger stage and im proud of my self control because i sat down and shut my mouth and tried not to fight w him bc fuck you. this guys been picking on me since 10am this morning and idk why he’s focusing on me today, but he picks on ALOT of people or will be super passive aggressive to people, including customers and management.
