Ok, now to the meat of some stuff we've Actually been thinking on, and I'm putting this in tags since some feedback would be helpful (sorry it's long, we're trapped on mobile)
But the tl;dr is we have a Host conundrum, and would like to hear about other's experiences. Obviously different systems have different needs and functions yadda yadda but hearing about other's experiences help us look at our own in a different way and that's good for evaluating, so.
The host conundrum. We've had hosts in the past, but they seem to flit in and out semi-regularly? They've changed out permanently in as little as half a year and rarely seem to stay more than a couple at a time, maybe that's not unusual? We have a Lot of changes and stressful events in our life that tend to push towards that trend so hopefully that's not like. Concerning or anything.
What is concerning is right now we don't have one. Or rather the one we have already has her hands full as being meant to be our memory keeper, she's what helps us even know what's going on when we're not near the front. Hell, I don't think she was even supposed to pilot the body, she's what we call The Memory Pool, and she *can* look human but when we look at her we envision -wait for it- a fucking pool of water. Or maybe a well?? But basically. Nothing that traditionally counts as sentient. She doesn't even have a name besides Memory Pool or Mirror Pool and trust me when I say that makes conversations a little awkward.
So, the point is, she was never meant to be a fronter and she isn't supposed to be one now. We don't have anyone else to take over her job right now, and our collective memory is tanking as a result, which is adding to existing stresses. We don't know why, but it's been several months and no one else has stepped up as host. (Well we have guesses: namely, it's a frankly fucking shitty and stressful time to try to step into those shoes)
So the questions we have for you all are: should we be trying to actively seek out someone in the system to be host, or hosts? Should we continue to sit back and wait for "nature to take its course" and for one to split or to naturally get shoehorned into the job? Does anyone else have experience with this sort of phenomenon where an essential* part gets stuck up front and it's not working out? Do they have any advice based on what they tried to handle this issue?
Currently our best solution is: Make a fucking list of what our current daily life demands and what traits work well for that, and then list out applicable fuckers who could potentially step up if they were ok with it. Which isn't bad, but also we have a penchant for lists that usually is more for soothing us or satisfying a curiosity, than anything actually being constructively accomplished. So it's entirely possible it's not the way to go (and also runs the risk of oversimplifying the situation since we're not clear what a Host needs to have the stamina to front so much in general.)
*I know, every part is essential and that's why they form, i just mean, as in our particular instance, there's only one alter who can fulfill the role our memory pool has, as opposed to the several alters we have who can stand in as ANP's at any given point in time. Or how we only have one gatekeeper but can have multiple protectors. So we have "essential" parts who cannot easily be swapped out, and as a result cannot afford them getting pushed into being a host without a proper stand-in.
