Bucky grew up in the 20's and 30's so I have this head canon that his ma told him to never have sex with a girl until he's married her and he loved and respected her so he didn't. And then on his wedding night it's his first time and he's nervous and soft and sweet and I just need all the soft fluffy smut (if it's kind of a strange request then you don't have to write it but I've just been thinking about it lol)
Okay by thanks queen 💞🥰🫶
this one is shorter but sexy nonetheless!!!!
The First Night
Summary: Newlyweds! But what happens when Bucky isn't as skilled as he wishes he was?
Pairing: Husband!Bucky Barnes x Wife!Reader
Warning/Tags: nsfw 18+
smut, sub/dom-esque theme, dick-riding
Word Count: 1.2k
⁎ Minors DNI, this content is sexually driven and should only be consumed by 18+ audiences. You are responsible for the media you consume!
Bucky couldn’t believe it — he was married.
He was married to the love of his life, his partner in crime — you.
He barely remembered the reception, it felt like a million years ago now. Flashes — walking down the aisle with you on his arm, dancing wildly around the dance floor, whisking you off your feet for sweet and tender kisses throughout the night — but the rest was such a blur.
But now? Now was burning in his mind forever. Because here you were, naked beneath his warm body, eagerness written across your face, love sparkling in your eyes.
But all he could do was freeze.
And you knew immediately when he did. The memory of when you first began dating popped into the forefront of your mind.
***
“If we’re together, Y/N, you need to know that I’m…”
“You’re what Buck?”
“I’m saving myself for marriage. I’m a- I’m a virgin.”
“A virgin?”
“Yes—my mother always preached about how important it was to wait for the perfect girl, and after everything with Hydra…I just never got the chance to experience it yet.”
***
“Buck?” Your velvety voice spilled from your lips and wrapped Bucky in the warmest, safest embrace.
His eyes flickered, the ice melting from him, his muscles relaxing then.
“I’m sorry, Y/N. I just…” he trailed off, lowering his head to your bare shoulder, hiding in the crook of your neck, “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
You raised your hands to his face and gently pushed him from his hiding spot, making him look you in the eyes. You flashed him a warm smile, knowing he must feel so embarrassed in the moment due to his lack of experience.
“Then let me show you what to do.” You affirmed to him.
With a soft nod, you adjusted from underneath him and brought one of your hands down from his face and found his long member, pumping him slowly to make sure he was ready. He shut his eyes and exhaled sharply, a deep moan escaping the depths of his throat.
And, God, was it like music to your ears.
With a wicked grin you pushed him back and sat up, “Switch spots with me, baby.”
And like a well trained canine, he switched positions. He was now sitting up, his back against the headboard of the bed, and eyeing you with the utmost amount of hunger and love. You were knelt in between his legs now, a look of innocence about you as you moved to put your hair up into a messy bun.
“I’m going to make you nice and wet for me. It’ll feel so good once you’re inside of me, baby.” You promised him before you lowered your mouth down over his cock.
“Arghhh, fuck babe...” Bucky responded to the sensation, his hips bucking up and forcing his length further into your throat.
But you took him all in, bobbing your mouth up and down his length. You allowed your tongue to coat the whole of him down to his base, ensuring your saliva encapsulated him. After you felt he was sufficiently coated, you released his cock with a pop and looked up into his eyes. He was staring back at you in pure awe.
You flashed another smirk at him and began to crawl over him, “Are you ready, baby?” You asked him, searching his eyes for consent as you lined his cock up with your entrance.
“Please, Y/N, I need you.” He whined.
You leaned forward, your nose touching his, “That’s my good boy.”
And then you slid down his length, taking him all the way in until your ass found his balls.
“Oh, my God—“ you exclaimed, feeling Bucky in the depths of your stomach.
“Are you okay, Y/N?” Bucky asked, an anxious tone in his voice. He brought hands to your face to get a better look at you.
“Oh, I’m fantastic, baby.” You assured.
You began to rock back and forth, grounding against his base, “I’m going to make myself come first, okay Buck? I want you to know what it feels like when I come around your cock, baby.”
He put his forehead against yours while his hands found your hips to help rock you on his cock, the friction against your clit making you swell with an orgasm that was stubbornly sitting on the precipice of exploding. So you grabbed his human hand and guided it to where your cunt met the base of his length. You helped to spread yourself and placed his large thumb directly against your clit.
“Baby, I need your help. I need you to stroke me to help me come.” You told him, and waited for him to comply.
But his thumb never moved.
“I…I don’t know how…” he trailed off.
You paused instantly and cocked your head to the side, remembering he wouldn’t just know what your body liked.
“Oh, baby, it’s okay. Let me guide you.” You reached down and placed your hand over his, mimicking the hold he had on your sex. “Follow my lead, okay?” You looked at him with eager eyes, and he nodded his head in agreement.
You began to move your thumb back and forth, emphasizing the feather light touch you had against his own thumb. And like a well synchronized machine, he followed suit, and the feeling was electric. He was stroking you as you began to grind back down on his cock, and the cliff your orgasm was hanging by a thread from let go and exploded across your body.
“Fuck, Buck—“ you moaned out, your words immediately replaced by guttural moans as your orgasm rippled outwards.
“Oh, God, I can feel it, Y/N. Fuck!” Bucky exclaimed, his grip on your hip with his metal hand becoming like a vice as the walls of your sex gripped his length with each pulse.
Knowing the feeling of you contracting over him was nearing him to his own orgasm, you began to ride him. Bouncing on his cock, you could hear his breathing become shallow and erratic, his eyes squeezed shut in concentration. So you bent over to whisper in his ear.
“Come for me, baby. Be a good boy for me, yeah?”
“Fuck, Y/N, I want to be your good boy.”
And with a primal moan, you could feel his cock twitching inside you, his orgasm filling you. You slowed your motions, aiming to draw out his orgasm the best you could, enjoying the little moans and hisses he let out as you did.
When his orgasm finally subsided, you brought your arms to deal around his shoulders, and brought your chest flush to his. You planted a hot and sweaty kiss to his lips, and giggled into his mouth.
“What?” He asked, gently nudging you back to see your face.
But you just shook your head and gazed into his eyes, your post orgasm haze clouding your irises.
“You sure that was your first time? I don’t think I’ve ever came that hard and so fast in my life.” You teased him.
He rolled his eyes and dragged you back down for another kiss, this time longer and sweeter.
“I love you, Buck.”
“I love you, too, Y/N.”
For a few minutes you collapsed next to each other and took in the effect of marital bliss. You couldn’t believe Bucky was your husband, but after your first time together, you were certain no one had a better husband than you.
No one.
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
I know I just requested a fic from you but I have another request.
Congressman!Bucky x pregnant!wife!reader where you’re at the Battle of New York gala with him and you’re like 6 months pregnant. Maybe you’re not enhanced but you are a former shield agent so you’re trained in combat and a current Oxcorp employee. Bucky tells you to lay low and stay safe while he talks to people. You get bored and decide to wander, and accidentally overhear that Val is about to throw a housewarming party. You think nothing of it at first, until you’re back home and Mel calls, and you put 2 and 2 together. Since you work for oxcorp, you know where the storehouse is. You’re so used to being an active agent that you leave to stop the housewarming without even thinking about being pregnant. When Bucky realizes you’re gone, he tracks your phone and follows you.
god this one got away from me a little, but I just loved the idea of a protective/possessive Bucky here, and I hope you like it!!! 🫶
Leather Suit
Summary: Bucky's nowhere to be seen when an important alert pops up, so you take it upon yourself to handle it. Bucky doesn't approve.
Pairing: Congressman!Bucky Barnes x Pregnant Wife!Reader
Warning/Tags: nsfw 18+
smut, finger penetration, sexual manipulation, inappropriate use of the vibranium arm, dubcon
Word Count: 2.8k
⁎ Minors DNI, this content is sexually driven and should only be consumed by 18+ audiences. You are responsible for the media you consume!
You didn’t even think twice.
Bucky had been so busy with the Battle of New York Gala, watching Val so closely so he could find anything out of the ordinary, that he didn’t even realize you’d been glued to the shadows, counting the seconds until you could leave.
This just wasn’t your scene.
Dozens of powerful government figures and billionaires who spent cash like it was going out of style? All while they pretended to care about the horrific invasion that saw the lives of hundreds of New Yorkers perish because a Demi-god with a horrific god-complex was throwing a tantrum? Meanwhile you actually had to endure that day, having boots on the ground with a slew of SHIELD agents doing evacuation runs while the Avengers handled the brunt of the invasion. These people, if you could even classify them as human, were just using the pain and suffering, the real terror of the Chitauri killing innocent civilians, for financial gain and to up their power trips.
You were going to be sick.
Being 4 months pregnant would help with that nausea that was rapidly creeping up your throat. You were regretting saying yes to this. But Bucky didn’t force you, in fact it was his idea to skip the whole thing, to focus on you. To focus on the baby. But you just had to be insistent in supporting him, telling him it was just one night, that you could suck it up and do it for him because this was important to him. You said that he had been bending over backwards for you and all the adjustments that needed to be made for the baby, that doing this one thing to support him would be nothing.
‘Next time I should keep my fucking mouth shut.’ You thought to yourself as another wave of nausea tried to double you over.
But a low beeping coming from the touchpad that Bucky had given to you before going to talk to Senator Grey turned your focus from the nausea. Flipping it over in your hands, it unlocked for your retina scan and illuminated on the screen were the coordinates of what appeared to be a vault in the western United States desert, as well as heat signatures inside the vault.
You looked up and searched around for any sight of Bucky, but he was gone.
And you didn’t even think twice.
You took off towards the emergency exit area, pushing through the door and down the stairs that brought you out to the dark streets of New York. It had been raining, the puddles and remaining droplets illuminated by the headlights of cars and the fluorescent lights of nearby stores. With the beauty of the sight and the fresh air of the nighttime air, you could feel the nausea dissipate immediately. You brought a hand to your stomach as you stuck your hand out to hail a taxi.
“Where to?” The middle aged cab driver asked.
You gave him the address of the house that Bucky had bought for you both shortly before you both got married. Stroking your stomach lightly, you let a soft smile escape you, just happy to be free from that hellscape of a gala.
20 minutes later, you were in the driveway of your and Bucky’s home. You paid the driver handsomely, and sent him on his way back to the city. You unlocked the front door and entered your home, immediately beginning to strip out of the ridiculous dress you decided upon for the occasion.
4 months into the pregnancy, you weren’t showing much, just a small bump, so it was easy to pass off wearing a dress not made for maternity leave, which pleased you. Maternity clothes were repugnant to you, nothing about them made you feel or look sexy. No matter how many times Bucky told you that you were glowing, that you were stunning, that you were the sexiest woman in the whole universe, it never staved away the pest in your mind that constantly belittled how you looked and felt about yourself.
Pulling open the closet door in your and Bucky’s room, you tore towards the back of the closet and pulled out a plastic bin that held your old tactical gear. Bucky demanded it of you, that there would be no way he’d allow you to do anything that would place yourself or the baby in harm's way.
But again, you weren’t thinking. ‘This won’t be dangerous,’ you thought, ‘A simple extraction, if nothing else.’
You pulled on your leather suit, the old SHIELD emblem placed proudly at both shoulders. The utility belt fits snug around your waist, the small bump forcing it out. You secured your thigh holsters and loaded and checked your hand pistols before placing them in the holsters. You began to pull your hair up into a tight ponytail when the sound of a deep, husky voice barked out at me from outside the closet.
“Y/N, what the fuck do you think you’re doing?”
You spun around at lightning speed, clocking Bucky immediately. And boy, did he look pissed.
“How did you know I was here?” You asked him, an incredulous look on your face.
“You think I don’t have ways to track your cell phone? Now answer the question, Y/N,” Bucky demanded.
“I saw the alert. You were gone.” You began to explain, but Bucky charged you, silencing you immediately.
“Not what I asked you. What do you think you’re doing?” His voice was menacingly low, but you knew he wouldn’t dare hurt you.
“I was responding to the al-“
“See, that’s where you’re fucking wrong, Y/N.”
Bucky gripped your shoulders and guided you towards the bench in your closet. He gently pushed you down, forcing you to sit, and knelt before you. Pressing the clasp on your utility belt, it sprung open and fell to the ground. He began to unstrap your thigh holsters, tugging at them until they fell from your legs. It had happened so fast that your mind hadn’t been able to register what he was doing until the pistols hit the floor.
“James Buchanan Barnes, what do you think you’re doing?” You snapped at him, but he didn’t even flinch.
He began to tug at your combat boots, but you kicked at him, forcing him back and clamping your boot down on his hand to pin him in place. Only then did he flick his gaze up to yours, clearly frustrated. His pupils were dilated, and if you didn’t know him better, you’d probably be scared at the way he was looking at you with his dangerous gaze.
“I’m taking your clothes off so you can go to bed. You’re pregnant and you were on your feet for awhile, you need to rest.” His voice was flat, his tone reinforced by total finality.
“So I can go to bed? To rest? Who do you think you are? You don’t get to tell me what to do!”
In the blink of an eye, Bucky maneuvered you both so that you were pinned beneath him, his flesh hand behind your head, his fingers lightly gripping the base of your skull. His vibranium arm was hovered over your body, his metal fingers pulling the zipper down of your SHIELD suit with utter finesse.
“I am your husband. You are carrying our child. My child. You are my wife. You are my whole fucking world, Y/N.” His vibranium fingertips began to trace the curvature of your now exposed body, making you shiver beneath him involuntarily. You could feel the familiar heat at your core growing under his feather-light touch. And when your lips parted, sucking in a sharp breath, you watched as his gaze turned hungry. But he kept his composure, though his jaw was twitching.
“What kind of husband would I be if I allowed my wife to walk head-on into danger?” His hot breath ghosted your face, and you tried desperately to maintain a blanket expression. But the growing heat, the desperate desire to be touched, to be taken by your husband, was drowning out all sense of reason and composure.
“Oh, so now I need your permission to make my own decisions?” You managed to say, the words breathy and wavering. You felt his metal fingertips dip below your navel and you struggled to smother the soft moan that ached to escape your throat.
“Absolutely not, doll. You do, however, need permission when you want to place our unborn child in danger.” His fingertips grazed the lace fabric that shielded your core from him, knowing that if he could feel the sensation himself, he’d know you were absolutely wet with desire and want for him now.
“I would’ve been fine, I know what I’m doing, Bucky,” his name felt like a groan on your tongue, “I wouldn’t have deliberately put myself in danger,” you tried to sound strong, but it sounded more like a whimper to Bucky, who ate up the fact you were dissolving beneath him.
“Oh, doll, is that what you think?” He pushed aside the lingerie and trailed a finger in between your folds, this time successfully eliciting a gasp of excitement from you. “You were going to walk right into an incinerator, surrounded by a half dozen mercenaries, and you want to lay there and tell me you wouldn’t deliberately put yourself in danger?” The thumb of his vibranium hand began to rub slow but purposeful circles over your clit. The sensation that you loved so much, the heat from your core mixing with the cool of his fingers sending electric shocks through your body, it was melting your defensive mindset. You could only moan out from the intensity of it all, and Bucky knew he was winning the argument no matter what.
“You didn’t even know the whole situation, something I had to overhear myself to know, yet you were ready to just dive right in, head first,” his thumb circled faster, causing another groan to pass your lips, “and you want to tell me you wouldn’t deliberately put yourself in danger?
“You were in danger the second you put this tight, little leather suit on, you know that, doll? You couldn’t even make the right decision there, nevermind a decision regarding the lives of both you and our child. Tell me, doll, do you think you made the right decision?”
Bucky didn’t even wait for a response. You had opened your mouth to answer him, a snarky remark on the tip of your tongue.
But Bucky had other plans.
He thrusted his metal finger into you, his thumb still teasing your clit. What would’ve been a sharp quip at his demeaning tone, became a guttural moan that saw Bucky smirking down at you in such a smug way, watching in real time the argument in you dissipate.
“You’re so tight, doll.” His smirk widened as you whined with each pump of his fingers.
He teased his middle finger into your entrance, enjoying the way your face scrunched up from the sensation. When he finally got both his pointer and middle finger inside of you, he picked up his rhythm, thrusting faster than you could comprehend. You cried out in pleasure, and Bucky kept his gaze focused on your face, taking in each expression, each roll of your eyes. He watched how your mouth formed an “O” with each moan that left your lips, loving how you flung your head back further into his hand when he hit your spot deep inside of you.
You could feel the heat spreading throughout your body, your coming orgasm winding up. Each pump of Bucky’s fingers turned the coil another turn, and you could feel your release on the verge of uncoiling. Every muscle in your body tenses up, the overwhelming pleasure from Bucky finger fucking you was about to spill over.
“Buck—I’m gonna-“ you tried to form words, but Bucky’s relentless finger fucking was rendering you completely useless.
“That’s my girl. Come for me, doll. Be the good girl I know you are.”
“Fuck!” Your eyes rolled into your head as your breathing became erratic. You felt the build up in your core completely unwind, and your whole body was flooded with an intense pleasure that rippled out in waves. You moaned our Bucky’s name, your orgasm clenching around his fingers tightly, and you could feel the pumping of his fingers slowing down. It wasn’t until the last waves of pleasure waved off did he finally pull his fingers from your cunt.
“Good girl,” he cooed, bringing his pointer finger to his mouth, sucking your essences from his finger. Maintaining unwavering eye contact, he brought his middle finger to your mouth and pushed it deep inside.
“Taste just how good of a girl you were for me, doll.”
Bucky smiled wickedly at you as he watched you suck yourself off his metal finger. A deep groan verberated from his throat, loving the way you looked up at him as you sucked on his finger. He tugged it from your mouth and brought his hand to the side of your face, kissing you harshly, as if you were his one and only life line. His tongue invaded your mouth, roughly swiping against your own, tasting yourself on his tongue. You moaned into the kiss, and Bucky swallowed it with pride, loving the way you always melted into him when he kissed you.
He pulled away, both of you panting, and rested his forehead against yours.
“Do you need me to carry you to our bed?” He asked.
“Eat me, Barnes,” you breathed out, still out of breath.
“With pleasure,” he growled into your ear, “but I have somewhere I need to be, doll.”
Bucky pushed up off the ground and gently pulled you up off the floor of your closet. He removed the rest of the SHIELD suit from your body, and found a silk nightgown hanging up that he helped slip over your body. As he pulled it down, he stopped at your stomach, dropping to his knees.
“Daddy will be home soon, baby. You make sure mommy doesn’t do anything stupid while I’m gone.” He kissed your tummy lightly.
He looked up at you with an innocent smile, trying to cover up his insult, but you smacked his head anyway.
“Deserved,” he confessed, pulling the rest of your nightgown down.
He tugged your lace lingerie down, aiding you as you stepped out of them, and tucked them into his suit pocket.
“For good luck,” he said with a wink, standing up from his kneeling position.
He took your hand and kissed the palm of it before guiding you to the bed you shared, lifting you up and placing you in it, as if you were a princess being pampered by her prince.
“You’re lucky I love you.” His eyes sparkled at your faux threat.
“Incredibly lucky, one might say.” He tucked you in with a kiss to your forehead.
“Can’t believe sex manipulation worked on me,” you tutted as Bucky let your hair down from the ponytail you put up, “Fury would be appalled.”
Bucky chuckled, “You just can’t help yourself when your charmingly handsome husband wants to have his way with you.”
You rolled your eyes at him and stuck your tongue out at him childishly. But he just smiled and gave you a soft kiss to your lips before making his way towards the door of the bedroom.
“Bucky?” You called out to him.
He turned on the spot, his full and undivided attention on you. The way he looked at you, specifically the way he was right now, was proof enough of how much he loved you. He adored you, and his gaze always showed that. He was gentle and kind, and fiercely loyal and protective. And all the annoyances you felt towards him benching you and going off on his own towards the danger were sidelined immediately.
Because he loved you, and he was doing everything in his power to protect not only you, but your child.
A child that, when Bucky found out you were pregnant, became his whole life. He read book after book on parenting, practiced nonstop on stuffed animals that he bought for the baby with diaper changes and learned how to use a baby carrier. Everything that required preparation, he was practicing. He couldn’t wait to be a father, and his devotion to being a doting husband and a loving father made your heart swell every time.
“Please be careful. I need you to come back to me in one piece.”
He smiled warmly at you, his eyes soft, “Always, doll. I will always come back to you.”
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
Could you maybe do Pre-established Thunderbolts*!Bucky/Enhanced!Fem!Reader where your powers are enhanced empathy or something, and you come out of the shame rooms in shock because you had to relive experiences of S/A and heavy torture and the trauma is intensified because of your powers. You are almost catatonic by the time you get to Bob’s attic and Bucky has to drag you with and protect you while they fight void. You remain mute and skittish for a long time after the “New Avengers” announcement and Bucky has to help you recover. Lots of angst, hurt/comfort, and maybe smut?
You can alter it however you feel like cause I know it’s really specific.
Holy shit did I love writing this one. I hope it was everything you were looking for!! Thank you again for the request, I appreciate you tons!🫶
You're Not A Monster
Pairing: New Avengers!Bucky x Superpowered Fem!Reader
Summary: You're the monster they created, but Bucky knows who you truly are inside.
Words: 5.5k
Warnings: NSFW 18+ (Minors DNI)
Angst, descriptions of trauma, descriptions of graphic violence, smuttish? (no smut, but it's smutty at the end), hurt/comfort
{this is a trigger heavy one-shot, please consume media at your own discretion!}
Beta-read by the lovely @eeveedream🫶
You were coated in blood, limbs and bodies surrounding you. There was a high pitched ringing in your ears, your vision tunneling to a pinpoint. The world was drowning out around you, and you could feel yourself shutting down. The same way you always used to when they came to your cell.
You had followed the Thunderbolts into The Void to save Yelena and Bob, not knowing what you were going to fall into.
But you never expected this.
The first room was mild: the orphanage you grew up in, the reminder of how no family ever chose you. How unexplained things always seemed to happen around you, so the caretakers at the orphanage would always limit their time with you, leaving you to be alone for the majority of your upbringing.
The second room was worse: your “incident.” You had lost control of your powers, having been placed in an impossible situation, and it ended in people dying. Both innocent and deserved. You could remember the feeling of his hands on your throat, attacking you and trying to violate you. You had exploded, completely obliterating him on sight, reducing him to nothing more than a meek pile of ash. But unfortunately, anyone in a 100 foot radius also met the same fate. You had killed 9 people that day. That was 8 innocent lives who perished just for simply existing too close to you. And you’d pay the price for it.
The third room was the nail in the coffin: your HYDRA cell, your punishment that came after your “incident”. The place you feared more than yourself. Everyday they came, the scientists, the guards, the dispensables. They would draw you blood until you couldn’t keep your eyes open. They would run every test on you until you felt like your heart would give out on you, taking advantage of your regeneration. The guards would beat and break you each time you tried to fight back. And you fought, you fought for so long. But when they brought in the dispensables, that was when you finally gave up.
They were the worst part of the cell. They would send in outcasts of society, the ones they deemed that no one would miss or notice were gone. And they would make you demonstrate your powers on them. And when you didn’t comply, they’d kill them in front of you.
“You think by failing to comply that you’re saving their lives?” They would ask you.
“They’re dead whether you kill them or not, so why don’t you be a good girl and do as you're told.” They would tell you.
But when you finally caved, that’s when you lost yourself completely. When you shut down, and acted on muscle memory instead of on any moral or ethical instincts. You torched, disintegrated. You ripped and tore. You crushed and sliced. And when you were finished, there wasn’t a corner in your cell that wasn’t coated in blood and pieces of what once was a living and breathing human being.
And they would leave it like that, forcing you to sit in the blood and guts. Force you to take in exactly what you had done just for their research. They wanted to see how long you could keep yourself composed. How long it took for your psyche to completely break. How well you could mentally handle the impact of your powers. But all they did was allow you to create a box in your mind, a place where you could stuff all the humanity and morals you ever had and lock them away. So far into the depths of your mine that you no longer felt emotions, no longer cared about the pain and fear in the eyes of the innocent lives you now took all in the name of science.
They allowed you to create a monster.
So being thrown back, having to watch yourself in your darkest moment as you tore an innocent woman to shreds with your mind, all while a scientist stood taking notes, it absolutely destroyed you. The cell was surrounded by guards, assistants, scientists, and no one stepped in. Some avoided their gaze, others looked on in interest at how animalistic you had become in your executions. But no one helped the poor woman who was screaming for her life as her skin was being torn open by the forces of your mind.
“NO!” You screamed, but no one turned to acknowledge you.
It was just a memory, and to them, you weren’t even there. The only version of you that they cared to give their attention to was the brutal killer inside the cage.
You felt the fire in your veins as you had to watch the life leave the woman’s eyes, here caving in on itself as your alternate version crushed her with her powers…
…and you fucking lost it.
You charged the guards, watching as they finally reacted when you touched them. They drew their weapons on you, the bullets phasing through you as you unleashed hell on the first wave. You tore them limb from limb, slashed at their throats. Crushed their skulls in, dropping their bodies instantaneously. The scientists tried to duck for cover, but you saved them for last. A fresh wave of guards came filing into the room, and a wicked smile overtook you as you watched them line up in defensive stances. But you tore through them just as easy as the last group, dismembering them and leaving them unrecognizable.
You were determined to make them feel the pain you had to endure during the years you spent in that cell, even if you hid all that pain away in the depths of your mind still. Life was easier with the pain and guilt locked away, but with the resurgence of the painful memories that the shame-room forced you through, you could feel the box breaking wide open in your mind, and all the pain came flooding back.
You sought the scientists out next. You boiled their blood inside their bodies, scorching them from the inside out. You burned them alive, listening as they cried out in pain, cried out for help, just as all the dispensables had. But no one came for them, just like how no one came for the dispensables. They were doomed all the same.
But when they were all dead, when you were left with only the shame-room version of yourself who only stared back at you with a blank expression, not even phased by the outcome before them, you broke. When you were left with all the pain, the suffocating guilt and memories that threatened to destroy you from the inside out. Your bloodied hands went to your head, smearing the blood over your face and up into your hair. Your psyche was crackling, the rage and guilt coursing through your veins. It was all just so much.
“You know what you need to do.” The alternate version of you spoke out, snapping your focus up to her.
“You need to suppress it. Lock it away. It’s the only way, Y/N.” Your alternate version’s voice was haunting, so dead in tone, no empathy shown in her words.
You stared at her, battling with your broken psyche, trying to hold onto the last piece of humanity inside you. But it was hopeless, everything hurt so much, and you felt like you were dying.
Because this was who you were: a monster. You could try all you want, pretending like you could belong in the world, that you could work with the Thunderbolts and do good in this world. But you would never be good. You would always be a stain on the world- dark and irredeemable.
So you locked it all away. You hid the pain, the emotions, the humanity inside you. You locked away your morals, your ethical code. It was all gone. And what was left over was this shell, hollow and empty. You felt nothing, it was as if you were catatonic.
The monster.
“You’ll be better this way.” Your alternate stated, and you stared into her cold, dead eyes. Feeling nothing.
“Y/N?” A male voice sounded from behind you.
You turned slowly, feeling the blood dripping down your face and neck still, and found that the voice belonged to none other than Bucky Barnes. He was staring at you, wide eyed, concern etched in his expression, as you stared back lifelessly. He was looking in from the glass reflection in the lab that held your old cell, taking in the scene around you.
His eyes trailed across the bodies and blood, seeing your alternate behind you staring back as well, with the same voidant look. He looked almost horrified, but he shook himself from the trance he was in and brought his focus back to you.
“We have to go, Bob and Yelena need us.” He said, but you didn’t move.
You didn’t even speak. You felt nothing for those names, why should you need to leave? And why should Bucky telling you that you needed to leave mean anything? So you remained still, gaze trained on him, completely emotionless.
“Y/N?! We need to go!” He was yelling now.
But still, you didn’t move.
“Oh, for fuck’s sake.” He grumbled before running through the glass and entering my hellscape of a shame-room.
He reacted immediately, bringing his hand to his face, covering his nose.
“Oh, God.” He said, sounding affected by the rank stench of blood, guts, and bodily fluids in the air.
“Did you do this?” He asked, but again received no answer.
“If you’re not going to talk, fine. Don’t talk. But we have to go,” he stated, walking to you and grabbing onto your arm to tug you along with him.
You didn’t budge.
He stared at you incredulously. He couldn’t believe what he was witnessing, why you were doing what you were doing. But he didn’t have time for questions and debriefing.
“Please don’t kill me.” He muttered before he bent over and grabbed you, tossing you over his shoulder.
The squelching on your clothes unsettled Bucky as he carried you, his own shirt soaking in the blood that coated your body.
But you didn’t care. Nothing mattered to you. Feelings and emotions were weaknesses, and it didn’t matter where you went or who you were with. It was all the same. You were a monster, and the whole world knew it.
He ran through the doors ahead of him and searched for any reflections, sighing in relief when he found a one-way mirror on the wall looking into the cell. Except it wasn’t your cell this time. This time it was looking in on Bob and Yelena in an attic room together, being attacked by a curtain and flying objects.
“Hold on.” He demanded.
You didn’t.
Bucky ran right through the mirror, both your bodies hitting the ground. He got up immediately and went to Bob and Yelena, but not you. You stayed on the ground, just staring up at the ceiling. You could hear Walker and Ava arrive through the windows as they shattered. Then you heard Alexei as he burst through the wall. Each one of them ran to help Bob and Yelena, but not you.
Once the objects stopped flying and the chaos quieted, they all checked on each other. Each one responded in kind.
Not you though. And your silence drew their attention.
“Y/N, are you alright?” Yelena asked.
You didn’t respond. You didn’t even blink.
“Something happened to her in her shame-room. She hasn’t said a word since I found her. She hasn’t even moved, I had to carry her with me to get here.” Bucky explained, looking down at me.
“Who- Who’s blood is on her? Is it h-hers?” Bob stuttered, clearly horrified by the state you were in.
“It’s not hers.” Bucky clarified.
“Then whose blood is it?” Ava asked.
Bucky looked over at the group, one by one he turned his gaze before bringing it back to Ava. “It’s everyone’s.” He said.
“Oh, yeah. Cause that makes perfect sense, Bucky. Thank you for the insight.” Walker chirped, but Alexei pushed him to the side and walked closer to you.
“What you mean “everyone’s”?” Alexei asked, crouching down to examine the blood coating your body. He could see the tiny flecks of flesh sticking to your skin at this distance. He grimaced and stood back up, looking to Bucky for an answer.
“It means everyone’s. When I got to her she was surrounded by dozens of mutilated bodies, soaked in blood. I think…” Bucky trailed off, shutting his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Okay, we don’t have time for this right now.” Yelena stated, seeing that Bucky didn’t know what to say anymore. “Bob, how do we get out of here?” She asked.
“I don’t know. As far as I know it’s just a bunch of shame rooms.” He admitted, earning a scoff from Walker.
“Surely there must be a way out of here.” Ava said, making it a point to ignore Walker.
“Wait, Bob, you told me this was the nicest room, right?” Yelena asked.
“Yeah, I did.” Bob confirmed.
“Okay, so show us the bad ones.”
•••
You could see them grabbing onto Bob as he beat in The Void’s face. They had all ran to him, breaking free of their restraints, telling him he wasn’t alone, that he was cared for, that people depended on him.
But not you.
You stayed behind, still restrained by the bent metal and rebar. You could’ve blasted through it. You could’ve melted the metal and been free in seconds. But what was the point? You didn’t care, so why go through the trouble? They didn’t need a monster like you to help.
They pulled Bob off of The Void and the shame-room around you dissolved. The quiet streets of New York reappeared and the restraints holding you were gone. So you stood there, staring at the group as they got up off the ground, each of them checking on each other to make sure they were alright. Your eye twitched, a small pang in your heart as you looked in on them.
Why did that affect you?
But you stayed standing there in the street, caked in dried blood that was now flaking. You forced your stare back to a blank expression, convincing yourself you had no feeling towards the events that had just preceded you.
The Thunderbolts began to walk towards you, Bucky reaching you first.
“Come with us.” He said softly, grabbing onto your arm again.
You sent a jolt of searing heat through your body, burning his flesh hand. He jumped back, clutching onto his hand.
“I can walk on my own.” You said, turning away from him and following the group as they chased Val through the screen of tarps.
Why had that caused a reaction from you?
Bucky caught up with you, shooting you a side-long glance before pushing open the curtains for you both, being met with blinding flashes, camera crews, and microphones.
Val had called for a press conference to save her ass. And when she caught sight of you, she looked mortified.
Because she had just introduced the New Avengers to the world, and one of them was a sociopathic, murderous, superpowered human that was covered in blood and flesh.
‘The news will have a field day with this.’ You thought to yourself, a flicker of amusement blooming inside you.
But why did that make you feel?
•••
The announcement had concluded, and the majority of the group went with Val back to the New Avengers Watchtower.
But not you or Bucky.
Bucky decided to bring you back to his house. He deemed you too much of a hazard to be in such a public setting, surrounded by a team of construction crews, lab scientists and assistants, and the rest of Val’s security team. Bringing you to his house would ensure you were monitored closely and not posing a threat to anyone. Though he phrased it as a way for him to make sure you were okay without too many prying eyes. But that wasn’t the real reason. You knew he didn’t trust you to be around people, you were too dangerous.
‘Good, I’m a monster. No one should be around me.’ You grimaced at the thought.
But why did that make you react?
You pushed back at the box in your mind, forcing it further away. The pain would only make you weak. And being weak was a liability. This way was better, and everyone was better off.
When Bucky opened the front door to his house and let you inside, he was relieved to see you were complying. No burning, no lashing out. You just walked inside, stopping in the middle of his living room.
“We need to clean the blood off of you, Y/N.” He said, kicking his boots off and kicking them to the side of the door.
“Why?” You questioned, staring blankly at Bucky.
“Because you’re covered in blood?” He answered, confused by your question.
“Nothing matters. Why should I clean the blood off when none of it matters? Blood or not, I’m still the monster that everyone knows I am.” Your tone was flat and definitive when you spoke.
He stared at you in disbelief, raking a hand through his hair. “What happened in there, Y/N?” He was looking at the ground as he asked.
You remained silent, still looking at him with blank eyes. He looked up at you and saw how vacant you looked, really seeing for the first time just how impacted your shame-room had been. He got up and walked to you slowly, stopping when he was mere inches from you. He lifted his hands to touch my face, stopping before he did.
“Please don’t burn me.” He whispered, his tone soft as he spoke.
He placed his hands on my cheeks, the vast comparison of warm versus cold between both cheeks felt conflicting in your mind. The cool of the vibranium hand was welcomed, the warmth of his flesh hand was gentle and soft. You leaned into the touch of his flesh hand.
Why?
The locked box in your mind was pounding against your skull, and the intensity was dialed to 10 the moment Bucky placed his hands on your skin.
You stumbled back, yanking yourself from his grasp. Clenching your eyes shut, you ground down on your teeth and held your head with your hands. It felt like your head was going to explode.
“No!” You growled, “Feeling is a weakness. It’s better if I don’t feel.” You collapsed to your knees in pain, Bucky immediately by your side. “I won’t survive if I let them out.” You confessed.
“Let who out?” Bucky asked, his hands on your shoulders, trying to comfort you.
“The victims. All the people I’ve killed. The innocent ones and the bad ones. All of them.” You hissed out, tears streaming down your face from how painful the ache in your head was. “They’re pounding against the lock in my head, I can’t-“
But you couldn’t finish the sentence. The box broke, and all the pain, all the suffering, all the trauma and rage came rushing out like a tsunami. You screamed out, the tears mixing with the dried blood on your face, creating a stream of red down your face and onto the floor.
“Y/N! What’s happening? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s going on!” Bucky exclaimed, clearly scared at what was happening to you.
But you could only cry. Sobbing great big sobs that wrecked your whole body. You felt detached from reality, the room around you, Bucky, his voice, it all fell off into darkness. You were crying out into what felt like a void, where no one would hear you. No one was coming for you. No one cared about you. And that made you cry harder. No one wanted you as a child. No one cared for you when you were grown. No one rescued you when you were forced to become this monster. And now, no one was going to pull you out of the abyss you were falling into. Your psyche was crackling with each cry. With each memory resurging you fell further and further.
You were completely alone.
A pinprick of light in the sea of darkness appeared when you felt like you were moving. You were being carried, possibly, but you were crying too hard to comprehend what was going on. Something was making noise, indecipherable to your ears, but it was insistent. You felt your clothes being tugged at, but you didn’t care. You felt hopeless, like nothing truly mattered anymore. The pain and guilt was suffocating you. The cries being stifled by a panic attack, you thought you might actually die. The pinprick of light fighting to stay alive as the attack was trying to snuff it out.
You had never felt this way before.
You screamed when you felt hot water hit your body. You lashed out, and scratched down the arm of the person holding you under the water. But they didn’t pull away, even when you were thrashing around, they only held you closer to them.
“I’m here, Y/N.” The voice stated.
‘Bucky.’
“You’re not alone. You’re safe now.” He told you. “I won’t let you drown in your guilt. Feelings and emotions are not weaknesses, they’re what make us human. You aren’t a monster, Y/N. You’re human, and you are good.”
Bucky’s voice rang inside your head as the hot water cascaded across our bodies. Your vision began to refocus and you could finally comprehend what was happening. Bucky had moved you from his living room after you snapped and brought you to the shower. He had stripped you of your clothes, and you noticed he was completely naked with you inside the shower. He was on the floor of the shower, holding you tightly to his body as the water beat down on you both. You could feel his flesh hand rubbing at your head, streams of watered down blood streaking from it. You could see small trails of blood trailing down his own arm where you had scratched him.
But as you both sat on the floor under the water, your cradled naked body in his arms, pressed up against his warm flesh, you finally felt a new emotion.
Security.
You sniffed as you felt your psyche mending, no longer feeling like you were hurtling towards a never ending abyss. The panic attack was abating, the security that Bucky provided you allowing you to gain clarity of the reality around you finally. Lifting your head from Bucky’s chest, you turned your gaze to look into his eyes. When he could finally see life in your eyes, his body relaxed significantly, his hold on you becoming more comforting and less like a vice holding you together.
“I’m not a good person, Bucky. I did horrible things. Things that I-“
“Whatever you did in the past, it’s not you anymore, Y/N.” Bucky stated, still stroking your hair. “I spent 50 years being someone who wasn’t who I was at heart. Doing the dirty work of criminals, crime lords, cult leaders, and every other evil entity under the sun. Does that make me a bad person?” Bucky asked, looking at you intently for your answer.
“You aren’t a bad person. But the things I’ve done, Bucky, they’re irredeemable. I don’t deserve to be cared about. I don’t deserve to be loved.” Your voice began to break again.
“Tell me what you did, Y/N. You say you don’t deserve to be loved? Then tell me what you did that makes you believe that.” Bucky challenged.
You balked slightly, “You really want to know?”
Bucky nodded his head, his eyes soft and sincere.
“I murdered people. Innocent people,” you started, sucking in a deep breath as you watched Bucky for his reaction.
But he only gestured for you to continue, continuing to stroke your hair to try and soothe you.
“A few years ago, I was seeing this guy. He wasn’t a good person, but I thought I loved him. He was the first man to ever show an interest in me. The first person ever, really. After how I was raised, I was desperate to be loved. So when things got bad, I just took it. I wanted to be loved, so I just took it.” You saw Bucky’s brows furrow as you began to explain your past.
“But one day things got really bad. He put his hands around my throat, he was trying to kill me. I never really had a hold on my powers, I always just hid them the best I could, always ashamed of them. But when he tried to kill me…I lost control. I obliterated him in seconds, just reduced him to ash. But it didn’t stop with him.
“My powers had exploded, disintegrating everything and everyone within 100ft from me. 8 people, just 8 innocent souls living their lives, were reduced to nothing. All because of me.” Bucky looked solemn as you spoke, but didn’t dare interrupt you.
“Shortly after that, HYDRA picked me up and detained me in a secret facility in the Nevada desert, under the guise of a SHIELD experiment. This was probably 5 years before you found me after HYDRA fell. That room you found me in earlier, with all the blood and…” Your voice fell off.
Bucky nodded, knowing what you meant.
“That was the place they used to hold me. That was me in the cell you saw. They kept me there to run tests and test the lengths of my powers. They placed me in a superpowered cell, locking me inside, unable to escape. They wanted me to be their new weapon. With how destructive I was, they felt the best way to test and research my powers would be to test them on the dispensables.”
“The dispensables?” Bucky repeated, raising a brow.
“People they believed to be outcasts in the world. People they knew no one would miss. People they knew no one would even notice they had disappeared. And it was those people that they made me use my powers on. After the first one, I just shut down, like I did earlier. Locked away my humanity in a box and tossed it into an abyss in my mind. It made things easier.” You explained to Bucky.
“What did they make you do to them?” He asked, but he already knew the answer.
You drew out a long, shaky breath, “They made me kill them. They wanted to know how fast I could kill them, how many ways, how intense could I kill or how slowly could I drag it out. If I didn’t comply, they’d just unload a round into their head instead just to prove the point that no matter what, I’d be saving no one. So it was either comply, or let the blood be on my hands for not complying.
“What happened in that shame-room, it was years of locked up rage and guilt that finally tore a hole in my psyche, and I just snapped. I killed them all. The guards, the assistants, the scientists. I did it without breaking a sweat. But the part that sent me into shut down wasn’t that.” You looked into Bucky’s eyes with a great intensity.
“I shut down because I saw just how lifeless I had been inside that cage. And seeing myself like that hurt me more than anything else I’ve ever done. Because doing that to myself, trapping my humanity away, that’s when I created a monster. No one else created that. Only I did. And that realization was too much for me to bear, so I just shut down.” You finished, watching Bucky intently for his reaction.
You figured you’d see disappointment. Shame. Disgust, even. But none of it ever came. What came instead was empathy.
“I know what it’s like to shut down your emotions and create something you can’t recognize in the mirror, Y/N. But that’s not you anymore. And I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving that to you if I have to.” He declared.
Bucky’s declaration sent a ripple of warmth through your body. You don’t know if it was the delirium from breaking down or the way he was looking at you like you held the whole world, but you felt desperate to be closer to him. You shifted in his lap, bringing your legs to wrap around his waist, lacing your arms around his neck. You were flush to him now, your head buried in the crook of his neck. You could feel all of him, his chest pressed to yours, his arms wrapped around you holding you to him.
You could feel his length as the tip of him was pushed into your stomach. A heat generated in your core as you felt your own sex grind against him as you clung to him. His body had reacted to the friction you had created, and you could feel him pulsing under you. You pulled back and looked at Bucky, who looked red in the face, completely breathless.
“I’m sorry, Y/N, that was involuntary. I’m not expecti-“
But you cut him off, crashing your lips to his. He stiffened under you, not responding immediately. The hesitation made you pull back, mortification taking you over. You tried to scramble off of Bucky’s lap, but his arms anchored you down.
“Please stop squirming.” He demanded, his tone dark, his eyes clamped shut. You could see the muscle in his taut jaw flickering.
You went still at the realization of what you were doing to him.
“Y/N, I want to do this. With you. I have for such a long time. But not like this.” He looked pained as he spoke. “You’re hurting right now. And what you’re going through right now, what you’re experiencing, I’ve been there. I know what it feels like, and this is only the beginning for you. We’re going to get you the help you need, because you deserve to be listened to and you deserve to be helped. We are going to get through this together. Something I never had, and something you’ll never have to experience ever again.”
Bucky brought his hand to your face, smoothing back your hair that had fallen in front of your face. “You are not alone, Y/N. Not anymore. And never again.”
And then he kissed you back. It wasn’t rushed, it wasn’t sloppy. It was slow and passionate, and Bucky took his time deepening the kiss. He wanted to savor the kiss, to savor you. To know that you wanted him as much as he wanted you made him excited, and it showed in how hard his length had become. With each movement in the kiss, he twitched against you, and it took everything inside you to ignore the instinct to grab him and show him just how much you wanted him.
But he was right, after everything that happened, all the things you went through and are still going through, it wouldn’t be right. You wanted to do things right, to do right by Bucky especially, and what he wanted for you was to make you feel safe and loved.
You aren’t alone anymore.
Your hands were in his hair, his own hand tangled in yours as well. You both moved in perfect synchrony, the heat the kiss created making you feel like you were on fire. Like you could shoot sparks from your fingertips without even trying. His tongue swept your mouth, colliding with your own in a passionate dance. It wasn’t a fight for dominance, but a mutual desire to prove to the other how much they wanted them, how much they cared for them.
When the kiss was finally broken, only the sound of your breathless pants and the trickling of water cascading down both you and Bucky could be heard. He pressed his forehead up against your own, his eyes falling closed. Your own lidded eyes struggling to remain open.
“I could get lost in you, Y/N. You have no idea how much you mean to me.” Bucky confessed, and you felt your heart swell.
He cared about you, he wanted you. He needed you.
You aren’t a monster.
“You can get lost in me as long as I can get lost in you.” You told him, loving the way his chest vibrated from the low chuckle that erupted from him, the heat returning to your core.
“Deal,” he mused. “Just not too lost, doll.” Bucky’s radiant smile made you melt into him more, loving the newfound feeling of being truly seen. Truly cared for. And as you melted into him, he welcomed it with warmth, looking into your eyes with so much passion.
And then his lips were back on yours.
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
What about an AU where Bucky and the reader are childhood friends and the reader's partner cheats or something and reader goes crying to Bucky who confesses to them cause they deserve better!!!
Once again, @eeveedream thank you so much for this cute request! I hope it helps to brighten your day 🫶
You Deserve the World
Pairing: Best Friend!Bucky x Reader
Summary: You go to Bucky after being cheated on, and his confession changes everything
Words: 1.3k
Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, mild language
A/N: I wrote this so that both the reader and the readers cheating ex are gender neutral in the hopes this piece could include wider audiences🫶 (if anyone catches any slip ups, please let me know and I'll fix them ASAP!!!)
You banged on Bucky’s door, your knees on the verge of giving out on you. You could barely see straight, the tears that flowed relentlessly from your eyes were heavily corrupting your vision. You barely managed to hold them in during the short car ride it took to reach Bucky’s apartment complex. But the moment you got out of the car, they just wouldn’t stop flowing.
“God, Bucky, please be home.” You choked out as another sob took you over.
The door swung open at the speed of light and Bucky was standing in the threshold of his apartment, staring incredulously at you. He saw you beginning to sway and darted out of his apartment to grab you just as your legs gave out, your cries wreaking havoc on your body.
“Fuck, Y/N! Are you okay?!” Bucky sounded scared as he grasped onto you, looking you over to check for injuries, but you could only cry harder in response.
He wrapped his arm around you as he scooped you up bridal-style and carried you into his apartment. He walked over to the couch and set you down, whispering “one second” as he walked back over to close his door and grabbed a water from his kitchen. He handed it to you as he sat down on the ground in front of you, making sure to face you and hold you hand as you continued to cry. He rubbed soothing circles into the top of your hand, whispering soft assurances to you to try and help you stop crying.
When your tears began to subside and your breathing began to steady, he grabbed the water from your hand and placed it on the ground, replacing it with his own hand.
“Y/N,” He started, “Can you please tell me what happened?” He asked calmly.
“It’s all my fault.” You whispered out in a hoarse voice, tears welling in your eyes again.
“Hey, hey, hey.” Bucky reached up and brushed more tears away from your cheeks, “What do you mean it’s all your fault?” He asked.
“Harley.” You stated. “We had been so distant. They told me I was working too much, that I wasn’t around anymore. They felt unwanted…unloved.” You choked out, the tears flowing again.
Bucky’s jaw became rigid at the mention of Harley’s name. He never liked them, but he only ever tolerated them for your benefit. They were your partner of 3 years now, regardless of how Bucky felt about them or not. And Bucky was your best friend, he wasn’t going to jeopardize a decades long friendship over someone as miniscule as Harley.
“What did they do to you, Y/N.” Bucky gritted out, trying to hold back the anger that was quickly threatening to bubble over.
“They cheated on me, Bucky!” You were sobbing again now, “They told me they were justified, that they had needs and I wasn't meeting them! I spent our whole relationship dedicated to them, trying desperately to make them happy, make them feel loved! But apparently because I spend so much time with you, regardless of them knowing you’re my best friend, they felt they were already being cheated on, so the fact that they slept with somebody else was justified!” You were shouting now at no one in particular.
“They said that? They used our friendship as an excuse to cheat on you?” Bucky was seething now.
You nodded your head aggressively before placing your head in your hands and cried your heart out for the second time today. Bucky, on the other hand, pushed up off the ground and began pacing his apartment. His hand was over his mouth, his mind was racing as he debated on what to do next.
“I’ll kill them.” He threatened, stopping dead in his tracks. “They don’t get to get away with hurting you like this. Telling you that it was your fault! You deserve so much better than this, Y/N!” Bucky was shouting now.
You flinched at his volume and the guilt ate him alive instantly. He moved from his position and placed himself on his knees, back to facing you while you sat on the couch. “I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m not yelling at you. But I meant what I said, you don’t deserve this.” He reassured you, grabbing your hand as he spoke.
“Maybe I do, Buck.” You said, sounding defeated. “Maybe they’re right. I do work too much, and I’m always hanging out with you. Maybe it is my fault.” You hung your head again.
Bucky tilted your head back up to meet his gaze, “Don’t you dare. Not even for a second. This isn’t your fault. You didn’t force Harley to cheat on you. You should never feel like you have to give up pieces of yourself to make someone else happy. If you have to do that, then they aren’t the person for you. You deserve the world, Y/N. And you deserve someone who would see all the things about you, the little and the big, and love each of them unconditionally instead of persecuting you for them.” Bucky told you, his features softening as he spoke.
“I wish someone saw me the way you do, Buck.” You confessed.
The look Bucky gave you in return was muddled, confliction present in his features.
“Y/N…” He breathed out. He opened his mouth again as if he was going to speak further, but he snapped his mouth shut instead, looking away before he could continue.
You tilted your head to the side, “What is it, Bucky?” You asked him, concern laced in your voice.
He shook his head, “It’s nothing, Y/N.” He said, refusing to meet your eyes.
It was your turn to tilt his face to meet your gaze, your red-rimmed eyes peering quizzingly into his stormy blue ones. “You can tell me, Buck.” You reassured him.
He squeezed his eyes shut, battling himself on whether he should tell you. But when he opened his eyes, once again confronted by your soft and sad irises, he melted in an instant.
“I see you in the way that you wish others would see you because I’m in love with you, Y/N.” He confessed. “I’ve loved you for years- hopelessly and indefinitely. I’ve held my tongue for so long because you’ve never seen me that way and I refused to jeopardize our friendship. The fear of losing you far outweighed anything else. So I tolerated Harley, even though I hated them from day one. And I tolerated the one’s before Harley too, and I did it all to keep you in my life.
“But seeing you here, absolutely devastated and struggling to stay together after that shit stain treated you like you were nothing more than a piece of gum on the bottom of their shoe, talking about how you wish you had someone like me to love you. Y/N, I’m someone like me, and I am so in love with you. So much so that half the time I barely even know what to do with myself.” Bucky finished his confession.
You were stunned, left utterly speechless. The information you’ve had to take in within the past few hours has been so overwhelming. Being cheated on, being blamed for being cheated on, now Bucky admitting his deep, long-time feelings for you. You’ve spent hours just crying your heart out, barely able to stand up straight. You had felt heartbroken, angry, defeated. And now?
Now, you were relieved.
“Bucky,” you brought your hand to his face, “you have no idea how long I’ve been dying to hear you say that.” And for the third time today, you were crying. But this time, it was for a much happier reason.
“I love you, too.”
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
could we maybe get a lil hurt/comfort oneshot where the reader or oc has nightmares and bucky hears them during the night?
(idk how specific you would prefer for an ask so if it's too specific/not enough just let me know)🥰🫶🫶
@doilooklikeagiveafrack I think I got carried away with this one, I was obsessed ngl
Alone Nevermore
Pairing: New Avengers!Bucky x Fem!Reader
Summary: Nightmares are toxic. Bucky's love isn't.
Words: 2k
Warnings: Angst, mentions of trauma
They began small. Flashes mostly, nothing ever too tangible. Just enough to wake you up in the middle of the night, and always feeling a pit of something foul lodged in your stomach. You knew they weren’t dreams. No, these were nightmares, and each night they grew worse. Each night you remembered more of the bits and pieces the demons in your mind fed you while you attempted to sleep. Slowly, you began to wake up screaming, soaked in your own sweat, the blankets and pillows cast aside recklessly as you thrashed in your restless state of unconsciousness. .
For weeks you walked around the tower, each day feeling the suffocating affects of your nightmares. It wasn’t taboo to anyone that the circles that began to form under your eyes were getting increasingly darker. Your hair was getting thinner, your face was slightly sunken in. Your appetite had escaped you most days, the pit in your stomach churning too badly most days to even let you entertain the idea of eating.
You hoped the rest of the team didn’t notice, hoping that their lack of attention to the growing issue meant they didn’t see it. But after the events of New York, with the fall out of the Sentry, and the subsequent shame rooms we had all been subjected to, everyone seemed to notice everything. But no one spoke about it.
Yelena noticed the dark circles under your eyes.
John noticed how sunken your face had gotten.
Ava noticed your hair growing dull and lifeless.
Bob noticed you skipping meals.
Alexei noticed the light in your eyes dim significantly.
But Bucky? Bucky heard the effect these growing nightmares began to have on you.
His room was directly across from yours on the residential floor of the tower, and he heard you every night crying in your sleep. Calling out into the void for help, whimpering when no one came. He heard the tossing and turning, the sounds your bed made as it scraped against the floor with each jerky movement of your body.
He heard it all, but he never said anything.
He had them too, still. The nightmares. More so after the events of the shame rooms, having every little shameful piece of his past brought back to the surface of his mind. Torturing him every single time he closed his eyes. So he avoided sleep most nights, trying desperately to hide from the terrors that would follow him into his subconscious. So he stayed awake, leaned against his door that led out to the hallway of the tower, and listened to you each and every night as you struggled more and more with each passing night.
And each night, he almost gets up. Each night, he almost pulls open his door and knocks on yours. But each night, he freezes, and stays in his cowardly position on the floor as he listens to the terrified sounds emanating from your bedroom. He was truly ashamed that he couldn’t- that he wouldn’t- go to you. He felt like he would be stuck in this never ending cycle of Hell, trapped frozen in place like he was back in cryo-sleep, listening to your nightmares every single night.
‘I’m damaged,’ he thought to himself. ‘How can I help her when I can’t even help myself? I’ll only make it worse. I make everything worse.’
Each night he battled with his fractured psyche, and every night the damaged pieces won. So he remained trapped at the door, like a dog on a leash, and forced himself to listen to you every night. And every night was the same. It was always the same.
That was, until you changed the routine on him. You woke up.
And you left your room.
“What?” Bucky muttered to himself.
He startled at the sound of your door opening, the sound of your padded footsteps echoing softly down the hall in the direction of the kitchen area. He pushed himself up off the floor the moment he couldn’t hear you anymore and opened his own door. He peered out into the hallway and caught a glimpse of you standing at the counter in the kitchen, seemingly fiddling with the coffee maker.
He inwardly battled himself as he remained watching you, deciding whether he should go to you or remain hiding. To remain a coward. But when he heard you drop a coffee cup, the contents scattering across the ground, he didn’t even hesitate. He grabbed his boots that were by the door and slipped them on in record speed and walked out to the kitchen.
“Don’t move, Y/N.” He demanded softly, his eyes assessing the shards of the ceramic mug surrounding your bare feet.
He walked across the debris to you, the sound of the shards crunching under his boots. Your back was to him as he approached. Your body was rigid, completely still apart from your shaking hands, but when Bucky placed his hands on your shoulders, you almost jumped a mile in the air.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay. It’s just me, Y/N. I got you.” He said in a soothing tone.
This time when he touched you, you relaxed into his touch as he slowly twirled you around, making sure that you didn’t cut your feet on the shards below.
When he finally got a look at your face, his heart clenched at the sight. Your eyes were bloodshot, red-rimmed, and puffy from crying and lack of sleep. Your hair was tousled, odd strands sticking out from how restless you had been. Your face had developed an ashy look, the usual color and glow was completely drained. And it absolutely destroyed Bucky to see you struggling so much.
“Oh, Y/N…” He whispered, bringing his hands to your face. He noticed you flinch slightly at his touch, causing his heart to hurt even more.
“I’m going to pick you up now, okay?” He told you, and you nodded your head.
He placed his hands under your arms and picked you up gently. You were significantly smaller than Bucky, him towering almost a full foot over you. So when he picked you up, it was like it was the easiest thing he’s ever done. He pulled you to him, guiding your hands to wrap around his neck, your head nestled into the crook of his neck. He reached down and brought your legs up to wrap around his waist, securing his hands firmly underneath you as he turned around and began to walk back out of the kitchen.
“Hold on tight, okay?” He said, earning a small squeeze from you as he walked into the hallway and back towards your bedroom.
But when he made it to your bedroom door, he didn’t open it. In fact, he turned away from it, opening his own bedroom door instead and bringing you inside to sit you down on his own bed.
“Bucky?” You croaked out, your voice hoarse from crying out in your sleep. “What are you doing?” You asked, watching as he walked back to his door to close it and take his boots off.
“You need to sleep, Y/N.” Was all he said.
You looked at him as he refused to meet your eyes, watching as he kept his hands on his hips, his gaze firmly on the ground.
“But why your bed?” You pushed further.
He raised a hand to his face and dragged it down, cupping his mouth and he kept his eyes squeezed shut. He was breathing heavily, like he was trying to calm himself down.
“Bucky?”
His eyes snapped open and he dropped his hand. He summoned the courage to finally walk over to you. He dropped down to a knee, raising his gaze to look you in the eyes now.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N.” He said, his voice breaking as he spoke.
“Why? You haven’t done anything.” You assured him.
“Exactly! I haven’t done anything!” He raised his voice slightly, but quickly composed himself when he saw you flinch once again.
“Y/N, for weeks now I’ve been able to hear you. Every night. Your crying, your screams. And every night I sat there,” he pointed to his door, “and I listened to it all. And every night, like a fucking coward, I didn’t get off my ass and go to you.”
He had tears welling in his eyes now as they frantically searched your own. You brought your hand to his face, swiping your thumb across his cheek as a single tear trailed down.
“Bucky…” You whispered, “Why have you been up every night? Why weren’t you sleeping?” You asked him, searching his eyes, trying to coax an honest answer out of him.
“Because-“ he clenched his eyes shut and took a deep breath before continuing, “I have them too. Nightmares.”
He reached up and grabbed your hand that held his face, pressing it further into his skin as he rubbed circles onto your wrist with the pad of his thumb.
“I avoid sleeping most nights so they don’t come, but instead I’m experiencing a different Hell. Listening to you suffer, and having to deal with myself being too cowardly to help you.” He confessed, new tears streaming down his face now. “I would’ve only made it worse. I’m poison, Y/N. All the things I’ve done…” He trailed off, his emotions and words getting caught in his throat.
“Oh, Buck,” you tried to wipe more of his tears away, “You aren’t a coward.” You affirmed. “You are not poison. You aren’t that person anymore.”
“I should’ve done more. I should’ve tried harder. I just didn’t know what to do.” He looked into your eyes, now glassy from the raw emotion seeping out of you.
“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I’m going to do better. For you. Because you deserve better.” He said, moving the palm of your hand to his lips, kissing it softly before pulling you into a strong embrace.
You both cried into each other's arms, holding on tightly as if you were both losing your grip on reality. You were treating each other like the last tangible connections to reality, the last shred of light in a sea of darkness, and neither one of you was willing to let go any time soon. Bucky rubbed soothing circles into your back as he tried to gain his composure. He hushed you gently, mumbling sweet nothings to you, telling you he was there now and you wouldn’t be alone ever again. And he guided you through your breathing, calming you down and aiding in drying your tears as they finally came to stop.
For the first time in weeks you felt peace. You felt safe. You felt cared for. But most importantly, you felt loved. And with the relief you felt at the flood of safety and serenity taking over your body, you began to feel your eyes droop. The ache of your body was steadily increasing as the weeks of malnourishment and lack of sleep were slamming into you like a bullet train. You were tired, you were weak, but for the first time in such a very, very long time, you weren’t afraid to fall asleep.
“Can we go to bed now?” You asked meekly into Bucky’s chest, still pressed to his body in a tight embrace.
He pulled away slowly and scanned your face. “Are you sure?” He asked.
You nodded your head and gestured to his bed, “We both need sleep, Buck.” Was all you had to say and Bucky was on his feet and situating his bed to accommodate you.
He got into bed beside you, and without saying a word, you both migrated to each other. You wrapped your arms around his waist and lifted your leg over his body, locking him into you as you placed your head against his chest. Bucky subsequently wrapped his own arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and tangling his legs with your remaining one. Bucky sucked in a deep breath and held it for a moment, taking in the feeling of you in his arms and how perfectly you fit to his body, and released it while squeezing you softly. You squeezed back, a tiny smile ghosting your features.
Peace. Calm. Serenity. Love.
“Goodnight, Bucky.” You muttered softly.
“Goodnight, Y/N.” Bucky whispered back, kissing the top of your head softly.
And within minutes, you both drifted into a peaceful sleep.
And for the first time in weeks…you dreamed.
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
Pairing: Engineer!Jeong Yunho x Android!Song Mingi
Summary:
Jeong Yunho had dedicated the past decade of his life to creating the future of AI androids. But what happens when the unit he created begins to feel?
Words: 4.5k
Warnings: swearing/kissing
A/N: This fic was inspired by the Dinero MV!
MINGI sat in a semi-circle chamber, a helmet with micro electrodes prickling the surface of their synthetic scalp. They had a few bigger electrodes stuck to their forehead and neck, supposedly at the interface centers. At least that's what Yunho had told them. MINGI had calmed down when they saw they weren't going to be placed in an enclosed cell again like the one they woke up in. Their interface had identified the reaction as a minor panic attack, and had evaluated that they, meaning MINGI, could have actual phobias.
“Curious.” MINGI had thought to themself. “What else am I afraid of?”
Yunho stood a few feet from MINGI, placed behind a desk with what looked to MINGI to be very expensive equipment. Further scans of it led their interface to conclude it was man-made equipment that mirrored what researchers in neurology departments across the world would use to map the human brain. But this set-up was tweaked, ideally to map AI interfaces and their intricacies.
“You built that yourself?” MINGI asked Yunho.
Yunho stopped fidgeting with the settings of the machinery before him and looked up at MINGI, “Yeah. Yeah I did. It’s one of a kind, actually. And by one of a kind, I mean-”
“Super illegal.” MINGI finished for him.
MINGI watched as Yunho froze, yet a small smile took over his features, something akin to warmth and a surprise wrapped into one expression taking form within his eyes. MINGI, once again, cataloged the visual, feeling something like warmth, or what their interface could only explain to be as warmth, in this android form. Essentially, if they could blush, they would be right now.
“Of course you’d know that,” Yunho teased MINGI, not noticing the way it affected MINGI to be teased by him. “Yes, ‘super illegal’is the best way to put it. It’s barely sanctioned by most progressive governments around the world. So, definitely not supposed to have this lying around in my hidden lab.”
Yunho flipped a switch then, and the machinery whirred to life seamlessly. It glowed a cool blue, just like the cell MINGI had been stored in when they came to being, and immediately MINGI could feel electrical pulsing from the electrodes surrounding his head and neck.
“Woah…” MINGI whispered, not really knowing what to make of the sensation.
They were so enraptured by the sensation that they didn’t notice Yunho staring at them. Staring at their parted lips as they whispered, bright blue irises looking up towards the electrodes, watching as their eyes slowly lulled closed as MINGI finally came to the conclusion they quite liked the pulsing sensation and found it, in fact, to be soothing. MINGI did not see the look on Yunho’s face, completely betraying his emotions with one look of devastation.
Because that's what Yunho felt: devastation. The way he had designed MINGI, he should’ve stayed less biased. Because the android, this being, he created…
They were beautiful.
Yunho had to, rather aggressively, shake himself from his trance and force himself to focus back on the equipment before him, analyzing the particles on the screen beginning to form.
MINGI’s interface.
It was pulsing, like a wave with ripple effects. “What are you thinking right now? What are you feeling?” Yunho asked MINGI, whose eyes opened again and found Yunho’s curious gaze.
The particles glowed a little then when MINGI landed eye contact with Yunho’s own brown irises.
“I was thinking about how nice this sensation is. It feels warm,” MINGI answered.
Yunho tilted his head slightly, eyes narrowing, “What do you mean ‘sensation’?”
MINGI thought for a second, analyzing and searching for the right words to describe the sensation. “It’s like a massage, I guess. That would be the closest equivalent. But the electrodes on my head, they are emitting a low electronic pulse. And with each pulse, it feels soothing. Relaxing. Warm. I quite like it, really,” MINGI explained with a soft smile on his lips as he spoke.
“Beauitful.” Yunho’s thoughts betrayed him again.
Yunho blinked. Hard.
“You know what warmth feels like?” Yunho asked, his voice slightly raspy from his throat running dry.
MINGI nodded slightly, “Yes, after a brief search through the databases available, I learned what warmth feels like.” MINGI leaned forward slightly, their hands in their lap, playing with their fingers, “Like a blanket on a cold winter’s night. Homemade food from a loving mother. The embrace of a lover who never wants to let you go…” MINGI’s words died on their lips.
The particles on the screen were glowing intensely now, but all MINGI was doing was staring at Yunho.
Neither moved. Neither disturbed the silence that had crept its way into the room. Both seemingly afraid to approach the territory that the conversation had diverted towards. MINGI looked ethereal in his seat, Yunho thought. Even with that ridiculous contraption covering his head, Yunho thought he was annoyingly gorgeous, and he was beginning to hate himself for feeling any sort of way in this specific capacity towards an android. But what Yunho didn’t know was that MINGI had those exact same thoughts. MINGI believed Yunho was effortlessly handsome, devastatingly so. It may be their first day on Earth, but they had surfed the global databases of what the human race looks like, and Yunho’s face, his eyes, they didn’t compare to any search result that populated in MINGI’s interface. MINGI had learned what feelings were, what it was like to think and express, and in doing so, they had learned that they could harbor feelings for humans. Specifically, for Yunho. And, unlike Yunho, MINGI had no surface indications like blush or sweat to give themself away. Meaning, they could hide their attraction if they choose.
Because how could MINGI be attracted to a human? And not just any human, the man who had created them. There was no way Yunho could ever be attracted to a fucking machine. Yunho hadn’t even displayed any human indications, like an accidental blush, a flustered stutter. Nothing.
The only constant reaction they’d witnessed from Yunho was of him clenching his jaw, just like he was now. MINGI watched the way his muscle feathered with the grinding of his teeth, and it almost excited MINGI. What was worse was that he learned from his interface that that was simply just another form of attraction, which only scared MINGI even more.
That fear relayed to the particles on the screen, causing Yunho to furrow his brows as he took his eyes off MINGI and watched the screen. The glowing changed, turning a muddled black and red.
“What’s going on? The screen completely shifted,” Yunho said, eyes lifting to MINGI with concern pooled in his irises.
“I, uh-” MINGI stuttered over their words. They took a second to compose themselves, looking down at their hands before continuing, “I’m just overwhelmed, I think. Feelings, emotions…they’re intense. And when they all happen at once-”
“What specific ones are you feeling?” Yunho asked, cutting MINGI off.
MINGI faltered slightly then, physically warring with their interface if they should tell the truth or not. “I-” they stuttered, clenching their eyes shut.
Yunho stood up from the desk and leaned over his equipment, “MINGI, are you okay?” His voice was thick with concern and fear.
MINGI physically shook their head, trying to knock the anxiety out of them, “Yes…Yeah, I’m okay. I’m just…” MINGI looked up into Yunho’s eyes, feeling that terrifying warmth all over again, “I’m just scared, Yunho.”
MINGI decided to tell the truth.
“Scared? MINGI, why are you scared?” Yunho questioned gently, leaning back slightly to monitor the particle waves once more. He noticed the glowing pulse again, but now it was mixing with what Yunho had determined was the fear representation of their interface.
“Of the feelings,” MINGI started, “They’re so strong. Is this what it’s like to be human?”
Yunho laughed under his breath, “I’m afraid so, MINGI. You’ll get used to it. Eventually, it becomes like second nature. Right now you’re in what can only be described as a ‘toddler phase,’ and as you learn more and grow, these feelings won’t feel so scary. They’ll just be,” Yunho explained, not missing the way MINGI clung onto his every word.
With a gentle nod of understanding, MINGI seemed to visibly relax. The crease in between their eyebrows dissipated, the fidgeting of their fingers lessened significantly, and the strain in their lips loosened completely, revealing the pout that Yunho was beginning to love. Yunho watched as the fear aspect of MINGI’s interface molecules reduced to nearly nothing, being heavily replaced by the warm pulsing glow of particles from before.
“Fascinating…” Yunho breathed out, bringing his focus back to MINGI. “MINGI, what are you feeling or thinking about right now?”
The pulsing balked, just like MINGI.
“Should I tell the truth?” MINGI warred with themselves again, their interface becoming flustered from the mere idea that the only thing they could think about right now was Yunho. And that feeling, the feeling of blinding warmth and serenity? How on Earth could they even-
“Min?” Yunho’s voice was like the silkiest honey in the tempest cup of tea, and MINGI folded immediately at the use of the nickname.
“You,” MINGI blurted out. “I’m thinking about you.”
The confession shattered the atmosphere. Yunho stood completely still, scared to even blink. MINGI’s lips went strained again, taught in a thin line and the fear particles made their way back into the interface mapping. Their irises searched Yunho’s unwavering gaze, analyzing his features and understanding he was in complete shock at the moment. The hitched breath, quickened heart rate, slack jaw with his lips slightly parted, eyes wide but not vacant. No, his eyes were quite heavy with emotion that MINGI’s interface couldn’t quite decipher from this distance.
“Yunho,” MINGI practically choked out, “Please say something.”
The begging snapped Yunho out of his trance. “You’re thinking about me?”
MINGI nodded a bit more aggressively this time, “Yes, you Yunho.”
Yunho tilted his head and looked at MINGI in pure disbelief, “Why me? What about me?”
But at the question, MINGI began to really think about Yunho, and the monitor at Yunho’s station lit up like a fucking christmas tree. Looking down at the monitor in almost horror, Yunho shut the equipment down and practically charged around his desk and up to MINGI. MINGI flinched at the rapid movement, learning then what a fight-or-flight complex was and that they chose flight. But they didn’t have time to find any fascination in the realization when there was a very large, very tall, slightly crazed looking mad scientist approaching them at break-fast speed.
MINGI clenched their eyes shut and braced for impact, but none ever came. Peering out from one of their eyes, they saw that Yunho had stopped before them. Yunho had dropped to a knee before them, both hands at either side of MINGI, completely boxing them in their seat. Funny enough, MINGI didn’t feel even a little bit claustrophobic this time. Instead, they were certain they were exactly where they wanted to be. MINGI also thought then that if they had a real heart, they were certain it would be beating out of their chest at this point.
“MINGI, look at me,” Yunho demanded, with no hint of malice or anger in his voice.
MINGI obeyed the demand, opening their eyes and shifting themselves to face Yunho completely. The receptors in MINGI’s nose picked up Yunho’s scent for the first time, and they were certain that if Yunho hadn't turned his equipment off, that his screens would be blindingly pulsing from their interface’s mapping. He smelt like vanilla and spice, mixed with his own natural musk and it nearly sent MINGI into overdrive.
Yunho looked MINGI in the eyes, really looking and watching as their irises contracted. Then he remembered the equipment still attached to MINGI and reached up to remove it. He noticed the way MINGI flinched at the sudden movement, and stopped mid reach.
“Hey, I’m not going to hurt you,” Yunho reassured, bringing his hand to MINGI’s face. “I’m going to remove the headpiece and electrodes. Is that okay?” He asked, the pad of his thumb brushing against MINGI’s cheek as he spoke.
MINGI’s eyes fluttered slightly from the sensation of Yunho’s warm hand against their face. They could only manage a faint nod, words seemingly failing them in that exact moment from the overload of emotions and feelings flooding MINGI’s system.
With the confirmation he needed, Yunho moved his hand from MINGI’s face and reached to remove the headpiece. Gently detaching it from their head, Yunho placed it on the floor beside him and began to detach the electrodes that stuck to MINGI’s neck. He could feel the way MINGI was reacting to his touch, the close proximity making it so that MINGI couldn’t hide anything from Yunho, and Yunho vice versa. But Yunho, at the same time, thought it was fascinating that MINGI’s interface was choosing a more human approach to existing. Normally, AI’s try to remain unbiased in all sense of their operations, but it seems the coding that Yunho had spent endless years perfecting has, in a way, corrupted the interface's ability to be unbiased.
No, Yunho’s coding had instead welcomed the idea of bias into the interface’s operation, and in turn created its own personality. With each passing second, MINGI’s characteristics and personality personified and grew, and seeing the way MINGI was so timid and shy with Yunho only made Yunho’s own mind scream louder.
It was impossible for Yunho to not have feelings for MINGI. For over a decade he gave MINGI everything he had within him to bring them to life. His heart was a part of MINGI in a way, maybe even his own soul, and it was hard to ignore those feelings when the finished product sat before him. Sitting in a way that made them look like they were trying to shy away from Yunho, their lips pushed out in a slight pout, irises watching every little movement Yunho made. MINGI took in every part of Yunho and decided he felt some type of way towards Yunho. A way that wasn’t fear or repulsion, but the exact opposite, if the particle array gave Yunho the correct assumption.
MINGI liked him. They were attracted to him.
And that was the worst possible thing Yunho could’ve learned. Because all day he had been fighting his mind against the stupid little thoughts that popped in his head towards MINGI. He knew he was insane. Fucking delusional even. He was allowing himself to feel things for a being that was quite literally born today. Granted, MINGI would never age and he was already maturing at lightspeed, but still. He ought to have himself committed just for even thinking of MINGI that way. MINGI wasn’t a human.
“He’s pretty fucking close though, asshole,” Yunho crudely thought to himself.
Forcing himself to push through his thoughts with a clenched jaw, he carefully removed the final electrodes and tossed them to the side. Returning his gaze back to MINGI, he saw the enamored look plastered on their features and nearly melted into the fucking floor. He clenched his jaw harder, his teeth grinding down on each other to try and maintain his composure.
But it was MINGI’s turn to bring their hand to Yunho’s face, the temperature regulation settings inside their body mirroring that of human warmth. MINGI stroked the muscle in Yunho’s jaw, “You’re going to hurt yourself if you keep clenching your jaw like that, Yunho.”
Like a silent command, Yunho released the tension in his jaw. His lips parted slightly, disbelief taking over his features. He couldn’t even help himself, though, and he leaned into MINGI’s touch. Not much, but enough that they both noticed, and MINGI smiled softly at the gesture.
Yunho couldn’t even believe the visual before him: MINGI’s perfectly straight smile that creased the synthetic skin around blue eyes that seem to glow like a human’s would when admiring someone they adored.
Like a human’s…
Not human…
Yunho blinked once, prolonged and hard, before pushing away from MINGI. Not aggressively, just enough to put distance between them. He regretted looking back at MINGI, the look of hurt and disappointment mixed in his features stung Yunho so deep that he almost closed the distance again.
Almost.
Clearing his throat, Yunho stood and brushed the imaginary dust from his pants, trying to find focus anywhere that wasn’t MINGI’s face.
“I-I think we’re good on t-testing for now,” Yunho stumbled over his words. “Your array was clean for the most part, n-no red flags,” Yunho explained.
“No red flags, my ass,” Yunho couldn’t help the thought.
“Oh,” was all MINGI could say in response, and that one word devastated Yunho more than it should’ve.
MINGI pushed up out of the testing seat and stood before Yunho, eye-to-eye. Yunho tried, he really did, to look away, to look anywhere, that wasn’t MINGI’s eyes. But he was hypnotized almost by the sadness that reflected in MINGI’s ocean-blue eyes. They opened their mouth and closed it a couple times, words failing them. Yunho knew the feeling- having a million things to say but nothing at the same time. Not knowing if saying anything would make the situation better or worse. And Yunho knew MINGI was experiencing that feeling for the first time and knew how stressed they must be. But Yunho didn’t know how to make the situation better either. He was just as lost. Maybe MINGI had the same conflicting thoughts that Yunho was having. Or maybe he didn’t see the harm in having feelings for a human when they themselves were anything but.
Yunho watched as MINGI closed their eyes, the same serene look taking over their complexion just like before when MINGI had learned how to dress themself. He was searching the databases, but for what Yunho had no fucking idea.
“MINGI, what are y-”
Yunho’s words were cut off immediately when MINGI’s eyes snapped open and immediately they advanced on Yunho. Yunho didn’t even have a second to register what the fuck was happening before MINGI’s lips were on his. Both of their fists had Yunho’s lab coat balled in them, yanking him down, close enough to be chest to chest. Yunho was stunned, frozen under MINGI’s brazen actions, and his brain couldn’t catch up fast enough. MINGI pulled away abruptly, immediately releasing Yunho’s coat and taking a step back, a look of horror on their face.
“Oh, my God. I’m sorry. Oh, God, I didn’t even stop to think. I just saw it and-” MINGI’s panicked rambling echoed off the walls, but none of it reached Yunho.
He was still very much frozen in time, completely oblivious to MINGI’s downward spiral. His lips felt like they were on fire. The lack of MINGI’s warmth on his lips was alarming, and he darted his tongue out slightly to try and savor the feeling, his brain finally responding to the events of what just happened. Yunho looked down at his lap coat, noticing the two distinct places where MINGI had clung to him to drag him into the impromptu kiss.
MINGI noticed Yunho was looking down at himself and abandoned his ramblings, “Yunho?”
Yunho looked up to MINGI then and really saw him. His brain no longer delayed, he saw MINGI for what they truly were. And the box full of every reason why he shouldn’t act on his rapidly growing feelings was subsequently chucked out of his brain and out of the window. Swallowing his pride and prejudice, his shame and fear, he closed the distance between him and MINGI. One arm snaking around MINGI’s waist, pulling them flush to his body, the other finding residency at the side of their face. Fingers fanned purposely, the pad of his thumb dragging softly across MINGI’s cheek. Yunho could see the shock and fear in MINGI’s irises, their features betraying the emotions like a flashing neon sign, but it only endeared Yunho more.
“W-what are you doing?” MINGI asked Yunho, their voice timid and unsure.
Yunho tilted his head slightly, releasing a soft breath that fluttered against MINGI’s face. Their receptors could pick up the scent of faint fluoride and mint from what MINGI could only conclude to be Yunho’s toothpaste.
“I’m just…” Yunho let the words die on his tongue as he fell further and further into MINGI’s ocean eyes. His lips drew up in a soft smile, and he warmed when he saw MINGI’s features soften significantly, curiosity more prominent now than anything else.
With a deep breath, letting clarity wash over him for the first time all night, Yunho allowed himself, finally, to let go.
“Fuck it,” was all Yunho said before bringing his lips to MINGI’s.
The reaction was instant. MINGI brought their hands to Yunho’s chest, running them up and over his shoulders before interlocking them behind his neck. Yunho led the kiss, gentle and tender, and MINGI was reactionary every step of the way. The little sounds of contentness and pleasure that escaped MINGI were eagerly swallowed by Yunho as he deepened the kiss.
Running his tongue over MINGI’s bottom lip, they happily let Yunho in. His tongue explored MINGI’s mouth, trying his hardest to suppress his own satisfaction in choosing to construct MINGI to generate moisture, saliva, and warmth. He could only describe the taste as sweet and artificial and deliciously sinful. When his tongue began to dance against MINGI’s, he almost buckled to the floor at the moan they let out from the sensation. They began to let their hands roam Yunho’s body, starting with pushing his lab coat from his shoulders and letting it fall to the floor, the sound of his name tag clattering when it hit the floor. MINGI raked his fingers down Yunho’s back through the fabric of his shirt and the tremble that ran through his body was aggressive. And MINGI loved it, smiling into the kiss, a hum of satisfaction emanating from them that Yunho happily swallowed.
Loving the reaction he got from Yunho, MINGI hiked up his shirt this time before repeating the action, dragging his nails down Yunho’s back. They knew they were going to leave a mark behind, but that idea sent their interface wild, buzzing in what MINGI could only understand to be blissful euphoria.
And Yunho reacted immediately, growling into the kiss which was now hungrier and greedier. He pushed MINGI back until their hips hit the table where his coding setup resided. Pushing the equipment back without breaking the kiss, Yunho lifted MINGI onto the table and nipped at their bottom lip. MINGI let out a yelp, pouting slightly at the break in kiss, but was immediately rewarded when Yunho began to attack their jaw with kisses and teeth, sucking at the synthetic skin. And MINGI felt it all, their receptors across their skin felt like they were on fire.
“Arghh,” MINGI moaned out, “More, Yunho. Please.”
Yunho growled against his skin, the vibration of it sending a shiver through MINGI’s body, a new sensation they didn’t realize they were capable of. But Yunho obeyed, dragging his lips down MINGI’s neck, kissing and sucking, using his teeth against skin he had no idea would have marks after he was done, but he didn’t care. The moans of pleasure and ecstasy that MINGI choked out were enough to prove to him he was doing something right, and he wasn’t going to let an unknown stop him from giving MINGI what they wanted.
But then he felt MINGI’s fingertips on his abdomen, pulling his shirt up, and Yunho knew what MINGI was trying to do. And because of that realization, he had to force himself to stop. MINGI immediately felt the loss, whimpering even from the absence of Yunho’s lips on him.
“MINGI, sweetheart,” Yunho put his forehead against theirs, “You can’t. We can’t.”
The pout that formed on MINGI’s face almost made Yunho backtrack completely, but he couldn’t. Because he was right.
Physically they couldn’t have sex.
“Princess…” The nickname dripped like velvet from Yunho’s tongue and wrapped around MINGI like the warmest blanket, “I’m not saying I don’t want to.”
Taking one of MINGI’s hands, he placed it against his hardened member that was pressed tight against the fabric of his pants, “I want to. Fuck, I want to so badly. But…”
Yunho trailed off, and MINGI faltered. They knew what Yunho meant. They saw what sex was, poured over it while searching through the databases on what people did with people they were attracted to before fatefully deciding to kiss Yunho. But the tent in Yunho’s pants was confirmation for MINGI, whose interface had been blinded by pleasure and attraction to see the problem.
MINGI didn’t have the anatomy to physically go any further.
“We can’t,” MINGI repeated back to Yunho, their pout deepening.
Yunho brought his hand to MINGI’s chin and lifted their face to look him in the eyes. “Don’t pout, princess,” Yunho told them, placing a soft kiss on their lips. “I never thought to…I didn’t think that…”
“You didn’t think I’d need it. You didn’t think I’d even be capable of emotions, nevermind using sexual-organs,” MINGI finished for him, and Yunho confirmed by nodding.
“Clearly, I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing considering the position we’re in right now,” Yunho joked at his own expense, earning a sympathetic smile from MINGI.
They stroked his hair, finding a new way to comfort Yunho, “It’s okay, love. You didn’t know.”
Yunho’s eyebrows shot up, “So, you give pet names now?”
“Hey, you started it. I just wanted to join in,” MINGI shot back, smiling brilliantly now.
Yunho chuckled, “Yes, well. When you pout like that and give me those ocean eyes, how could I not think you looked like anything but a spoiled princess?” Yunho asked.
“That’s rich coming from the mad scientist who had to build himself a boyfriend,” MINGI teased back.
“To be fair,” Yunho leaned back with wide eyes, “I built you with the intent of changing the future.” Yunho leaned back in and looked pointedly at MINGI, “This?” He gestured between the two of them, “This was purely accidental. A good accident. But an accident, nonetheless.”
MINGI only looked up into Yunho’s eyes with pure adoration. And Yunho loved the way they looked at him, he loved the way it made him feel. Like he really was the only person alive on Earth that mattered to MINGI.
Yunho let out a content sigh, “I guess I’ll have to make some adjustments.”
MINGI only huffed incredulously, “Fucking right you’re making adjustments. Because I can feel every part of you, and every touch you leave on my skin is excruciatingly painful without any release. And Yunho?”
“Yeah, princess?” Yunho asked back, clearly pleased with this newfound voice and attitude that MINGI had adopted towards him.
“I will turn into a murder bot if I never get to fuck you or be fucked by you,” MINGI joked.
Kind of…
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed!
I am always open to requests in my inbox, so If you enjoyed and wanna read more like this, PLEASE just send me a message to my inbox and I'd be happy to commission something for you! Writing is better than doomscrolling, afterall.
Heyyyy so um...is it cool if I request a short Bucky Barnes x reader (nb or afab is cool!) fic where he shows up at the reader's house with injuries and gets patched up and there's ~tension~ but nothing really happens cause they're ~friends~ but, ya know...the ~pining~
Thank you for your time and consideration!! <333
Thank you so so soooo much for this request! I absolutely loved writing this one! I hope you enjoy it!🫶 @eeveedream
Oh, You Have Got To Be Kidding Me
Pairing: injured!Bucky x Reader
Summary: Bucky allows himself to be talked into trying one of Alexei's crazy hobbies, and he calls upon you to help put him back together in the aftermath.
Words: 2.2k
Warnings: Mild mentions of blood/injuries, mild mentions of violence, mostly fluff and angst
Bucky panted hard as he leaned up against a nearby building. He knew he shouldn’t have joined in on Alexei’s underground fighting hobby, but he was single, bored, and needed somewhere to burn energy. Beating the shit out of on-the-run criminals seemed like a good place to exert his energy.
At least…at the time it did.
“Winter Soldier! You honor your ancestors with your fighting! I could not be prouder, comrad!” Alexei’s booming voice echoed down the empty street.
Bucky winced at the volume, “Thanks…I think.” He said timidly, nursing his right arm as he pushed off the wall.
“Where you going? Tower is this way!” Alexei exclaimed as he pointed towards the direction of the New Avengers’ tower.
“I’ll catch up with you tomorrow, Alexei!” Was all Bucky provided as he walked off into the streets of NYC.
He pulled his phone from his jean pocket with mild discomfort and dialed your number, praying to God you were still awake. It was 1:32AM on a Thursday, and he couldn’t exactly walk into a hospital sporting some significant flesh wounds that were dealt by an alleged skinhead. He was supposed to be a New Avenger afterall.
“Bucky?” Your voice sounded over the phone, groggy and hoarse. He found himself smiling softly at the sound, his heart rate picking up a beat as you spoke.
“Hey, did I wake you up?” Bucky asked gently.
You laughed over the phone, “Of course you did. It’s almost 2AM, normal people are usually asleep at this hour, Buck.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry, Y/N, but I could really use a favor right now.” Bucky said, hissing in pain slightly as he moved in the direction of your apartment.
“Are you…oh, Buck. Don’t tell me you actually went with Alexei tonight?” You scolded lightly over the phone, eliciting a weary chuckled from Bucky.
He had told you about how Alexei was constantly trying to get him to come to his fighting ring. He tried to persuade Bucky by telling him it was usually wanted criminals who signed up so he’d be “Doing the city a service!” But you always talked Bucky out of going, so the fact he actually went tonight was a genuine shock to you.
“Yeah, I know. I fucked up. But lucky for me one of my greatest friends in all of NYC just so happens to be an RN.” He said. You could just tell he had the biggest shit-eating grin on his face just by the tone of his voice.
“You’re lucky I tolerate you, Barnes. Just get here in one piece. Preferably alive.” You said to him, scolding him like a toddler.
“You’re right, I am lucky! I’ll be there in 5.” He said before hanging up the phone.
Bucky stuffed his phone back in his pocket, a wide smile on his face, and sped up as he walked to your apartment.
***
The line went dead on your end and you rolled your eyes.
“This fucking guy…” You chided, tossing your phone on your bed and exited your bedroom.
You walked down the hallway leading towards your bathroom and flipped the light on. Opening the closet door, you took inventory of all your (stolen) medical equipment before reaching to grab some gauze, a couple stitch kits, butterfly bandages, some surgical gloves, and a bottle of antiseptic. It was times like these that you didn’t feel quite as guilty for lifting medical supplies from the hospital you worked at. Clearly the shit came in handy.
You exited your bathroom and made your way to the kitchen table, setting up the supplies accordingly. You found your spotlight that you normally used for stitching practice and placed it beside the table. You had a feeling your practice was going to be put to good use when Bucky arrived.
A soft knocking came from the door of your apartment, and when you opened it, you let out a shocked gasp.
“Jesus Christ, Buck! Did you even try to fight back?” You asked him as he entered your apartment.
“I’m fairly certain I broke both his legs if it makes you feel any better.” Bucky tried an anecdote, but received an eye roll instead.
“No, it really doesn’t.” You supplied, turning away from him to put gloves on.
He had a gash across his right cheek bone that would definitely need stitches, and what looked to be a bloodied area around his chest.
“I need you to take your shirt off so I can assess the rest of your wounds.” You told him.
“You just wanna see me without a shirt on, Y/N. No need to create excuses for it.” Bucky teased you, but the amusement left his face as he tried to remove his jacket.
“You’re an idiot.” You retorted. “What’s wrong with your shoulder?” You asked him.
“I think I dislocated it.” He hissed out, finally managing to peel himself out of his jacket.
“You have a cyber-kinetic arm, and you let some random shmuck dislocate the only real shoulder you have?” You asked him, a look of incredulity etched across your face.
“Well, I didn’t want to kill him, Y/N. I had to make it look like a fair fight.” He flashed a sarcastic smile at you and you almost slapped it clean off his face.
‘Wouldn’t have had to make it fair if you just listened to me in the first place!’ You thought to yourself.
He was left in only his bloodied t-shirt now. It clung onto his skin, kissed with blood and his own sweat. It took everything within you to not keep staring at him. So to distract yourself, you launched into assessing his shoulder, and when you noticed the disconnect of his joints and bone, you grabbed his arm and held it out straight.
“Okay, on the count of three, I’m going to pop this bitch back in there, okay?” You said, positioning yourself to get ready to twist his arm back in with all your might. “Try not to scream too much, you’ll wake my neighbors.” You teased him this time.
“Ha ha, very funny.” He said, though, no amusement was present in his voice.
“Okay, ready? One-“
*SNAP!*
You twisted his arm right back into his socket and Bucky doubled over immediately. He was biting his tongue- hard- but surprisingly didn’t scream out in pain.
“What the fuck happened to ‘two’ and ‘three’?” He asked weakly, clutching his shoulder in agony.
“You’ll get over it, baby girl. Now get up, I need to cut your shirt off of you so I can patch you up.” You told him.
This time he didn’t make any jokes. He sat down at the kitchen table and let you cut open his shirt with a pair of old kitchen scissors. Once it was fully removed, you noticed deep purple bruising along his back side. Without even thinking, you ran the tips of your gloved fingers down the length of them, not even noticing when goosebumps began to raise on Bucky’s arms and a shiver went running down his spine.
“Are you sewing me up or admiring my opponents artwork?” He asked, his voice suddenly dry.
“Ass.” You muttered under your breath, but returned to the table nonetheless and began to douse his cuts in antiseptic.
He winced in pain again, but held as still as possible for you as you cleaned his cuts. His eyes followed you as you worked, not focusing on your hands however, but on your face. He was watching your reactions, and you’d bet your kidney on the fucking black market that he knew how frustrated you were with him right now.
“I’m sorry I dragged you into this, Y/N.” He apologized, the words soft as they landed.
You dropped your hands from the wound on his cheek and looked him in the eyes. Really looked him in the eyes. You could see his regret and conflicted emotions clashing with each other in his eyes.
You sighed heavily, “Bucky, I know these last few years have been hard on you. I’ve been there through them all, so I know what you’ve been going through. With Steve. Now Sam. This feeling like you have this empty, gaping hole inside you that needs to be filled. But trying to get yourself killed in an underground fighting ring won’t fill that hole. If anything, it’ll just make it bigger.” You brought your hand to his face, the pad of your thumb gently stroking the cheek that didn’t have a gash etched across it. “I just wish you’d allow that hole to be filled properly. I know you’re scared, everyone is scared sometimes. But facing those fears head on and allowing yourself to be scared at the same time is how people progress through life for the better.” He was smiling softly at you now. “It’s okay to be scared, Bucky. It is not okay to let fear run your life.” You finished, staring at him for just a moment longer before dropping your hand completely from his face.
You turned around to open a stitch kit when Bucky finally responded.
“You should’ve been a shrink.” He teased lightly.
You spun around and smacked his chest, not caring that he was already injured. “You take that back!” You raised your hand again as if to hit him once more.
He raised his vibranium arm up in surrender, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hit me!”
You lowered your hand again and brought your focus back to the kit.
“Thank you, Y/N. I’m not really good at the whole…talk about my feelings thing. I needed to hear that, so thank you.” He said to you.
You turned your head and gave him a soft smile and a nod. You approached Bucky and turned on the spotlight, angling it at his chest. “I don’t have any local anesthetic, so you’re going to feel all of this. Sorry in advance.” You said before beginning the stitches on his chest gash.
Bucky grunted in pain as you stitched him up, neither one of you speaking. He was too overcome with the horrific sensation of having his skin pulled and tugged to even think of words to say. Meanwhile, you were far too focused on making sure the skin lined up with each stitch you made as to leave minimal scarring on Bucky’s skin.
Finishing up on his chest, you applied butterfly bandages for extra measure before moving on the gash on his cheek. You had to get a lot closer to him, close enough that you could feel his warm breath against the skin of your neck. It sent a shiver down your spine and you fought hard to not allow a blush to form on your cheeks. Your eyes flickered to his and found he was already watching you, his eyes narrowed from pain. You gave him a faint smile before continuing on with the stitches on his cheek. With the final knot, you pulled away abruptly, and you could’ve sworn you heard Bucky snicker as the sudden movement.
He stood up from his seat and made his way down the hall and into the bathroom. “Nice work!” He shouted out to you.
You rolled your eyes once again, “You sound so surprised.”
“Absolutely not, I knew you’d do a fantastic job.” He shot you a genuine smile, “Why do you think I woke you up in the dead of night to patch me up?” He winked at you.
“Because the PR nightmare of a New Avenger getting his ass handed to him in an illegal fighting ring wouldn’t have been good for your image.” You replied flatly.
Bucky walked around to the table and picked up his jacket, tossing it over his good shoulder. “Yes, there’s that. But, you’re the only one I trust to do the job and not leave me disfigured.” He teased you.
“I wouldn’t go around giving me ideas like that, Barnes.” You quipped as he took a step closer to you.
You picked up his cut up t-shirt and tied the ends together to create a make-shift sling. “Here,” you helped to put the sling over Bucky’s head and placed his bad arm in the sling, “you’ll need a better one. But for now, this will do.” You said, giving his arm a squeeze before dropping your hands from his bicep. He attempted to put his jacket on, but with the restriction of the sling, you had to help him slip his vibranium arm through the sleeve and zipper the jacket up to help secure his right arm in place.
“Thank you, Y/N, I don’t know what I’d do without you.” He said earnestly.
A small blush crept up your neck and into your cheeks, “You’re welcome, Buck.”
Bucky bent his head down to your level and placed a kiss to your cheek, lingering for a second longer than either of you anticipated. When he pulled back, you could see a slight blush making its way into his own cheeks.
“Goodnight, Y/N.” He said, his tone hardly above a whisper. He headed for the door and tugged it open.
“Goodnight, Buck.” You said back, watching as he gave you a small smile in return before closing the door behind him.
If you enjoyed this read, please feel free to reblog/like🫶
If you'd like to submit your own request, please do so, my requests are open!🫶
Pairing: Engineer!Jeong Yunho x Android!Song Mingi
Summary:
Jeong Yunho had dedicated the past decade of his life to creating the future of AI androids. But what happens when the unit he created begins to feel?
Words: 4.1k
Warnings: swearing
A/N: This fic was inspired by the Dinero MV!
Yunho’s fingers ghosted across his keyboard. Save for the mechanical hum emanating from the containing cell behind him, the sound of the keys on his keyboard bounced off every odd corner of his tech lab he was hiding out in. His mind was closed off, focusing only on the screen in front of him. His eyes darted around, never once stopping as line after line after mind-numbing line of code was typed into the program that he had spent years- no, decades- on. His body ached, his hands were stiff from typing, he hadn’t eaten in over 24 hours, but nothing was going to break his concentration.
He was so close…
Close to what? “The Future” Yunho would say, then dismiss you as if you hadn’t even asked the question. He had dedicated his life to this program, pouring his heart, love, soul, energy, and everything not nailed to his bodily person into it.
In the holding cell behind him held an android. One made of a synthetic fiber that, to the naked eye, looked exactly like human skin. And to the average person, well- to most people, it was skin. But Yunho knew what was underneath the synthetic mesh. Knew every conduit, every wire, ever methodically placed screw and junction. He knew that the irises that would function in the android were not real human eyes, but microscopic AI lenses that could comprehend damn near any and every human phenomenon on Earth.
Almost any and every phenomenon.
Now, emotions? That was the part that Yunho had to be careful with. One mis-code, and he has successfully programmed the next genocidal maniac with all the intelligence access to follow through. One mis-code, and the kill switch is fucking disabled and out of sight, out of mind. And Yunho was in absolutely NO position to bare-hand fight a fucking superpowered Android who’s mission is to fuck up as much shit as humanly possible.
So, yeah, his coding needed all his attention. He couldn’t afford even a second of a distraction. No coworkers around, his phone locked outside in a holding cell away from him as a temptation, no radio, no tv. Just him, the android, and his fucking coding.
His eyes were at the point of watering from the strain he was putting himself through. Even with his blue light settings lowered, he was still fighting back against dry eye, becoming frustrated with how scratchy each blink of his eyes began to feel.
But then it happened.
The coding on his screen flashed green, his program successfully generating the proper sequencing that would be needed for the android. The safety nets, the kill switch, the protocols- they all fit.
“Holy shit,” Yunho breathed out, slumping back in his seat and running a cramped hand through his hair.
The screen to his right was pulsing now, three words displayed in the prompter box. For so long he always got the exact same prompt. “Failed: Sequence incompatible” haunted him in his nightmares each night, each continued failure making his restless nights worse and worse. But now, for the first time ever, his screen glowed with a new prompt.
“Success: Launch Sequence?”
Yunho almost passed out right then and there. His whole body froze, he wasn’t even sure if he was breathing. Everything else died away around him, even the mechanical humming from the processors maintaining the android cell behind him completely dissipated as his full focus was brought to the screen. The glowing green lettering staring back at him, Yunho was almost scared he was being punked and the rug would be ripped out from under him.
But, it never came. This was real, he succeeded. His life's work, all the sacrifices, all the time and energy spent, all the failures produced. He finally succeeded.
Taking a shaky breath, he shook himself from his trance and typed a command response into the prompter: “YES”
And then everything went black. A couple seconds passed, Yunho still encompassed in the darkness.
Then- a blast of light. All the sterile conduit from his station that linked into the android chamber began to flow with a bright, electric blue light. His coding, his program, was flowing from the source now, planting itself into the android that Yunho had spent years carefully crafting. All Yunho needed now was for the processor to accept the program into their units, and the symbiod would be alive.
A whirring began to sound from the android cell, light pulsing out around the constructed body. Yunho could see the android’s silhouette through the glass door, its “skin” illuminating a cool blue with each pulse of light. He could make out the chosen platinum blonde “hair” that framed its face. Then, it happened.
It opened its eyes…
The pulsing stopped, light turning solid as the screen behind Yunho displayed “Sequence Upload Complete.” But Yunho didn’t pay attention to it, he couldn’t even if he wanted to. His blood was roaring in his, his pulse was so high he didn’t even think it was humanly possible. Because staring back at him was a pair of ice blue eyes and he was completely awe-struck. He held his breath as the eyes stared back at him, unmoving. Unblinking. He took a timid step forward and immediately the androids irises contracted, zeroing in on him intently. Each step Yunho took it watched, and the longer Yunho stared back, he could see that the android was learning. Learning what curiosity was if the newfound look on its face proved anything. Its eyebrows furrowed slightly, lips had parted only just slightly. Yunho could swear that its head had even tilted, even if it was just a mere degree.
“How is that possible?” Yunho thought as he approached.
Standing in front of the glass of the androids cell, Yunho placed his hand on the chilled glass, noticing immediately how the androids eyes left his own and honed in on Yunho’s flesh. Now, it really tilted its head, pursing its lips in what looked like silent contemplation as to what to make of Yunho’s gesture. But slowly it brought its own hand to the glass, mirroring Yunho’s placement: its hand flush to his, only the glass acting as a barrier between them. The android stared curiously at their hands before eventually bringing their gaze back to Yunho’s. It searched his face, trying to decipher any context Yunho’s emotions gave away on his features, but this only made Yunho smile.
“I’m sure you want out of there, yeah?” Yunho’s soft but exhausted voice sounded into the silence.
The android flinched at the break in silence, clearly not accustomed to sound. Yunho chuckled softly, but remained in place. Waiting for the android to acknowledge that it understood Yunho. He watched as the android looked back at their hands, and then dragged its eyes around the cell around it, its mouth gaping slightly at the mechanism currently housing him.
“I…” the voice died, the android clearly startled that it could make any sound at all.
Yunho dipped his head in encouragement, “It’s okay. You can talk. I programmed you to be able to, afterall.”
Like a deer in headlights, the android looked like it was psyching itself up to speak again, the timid look taking over what was once curiosity on its features just moments prior. It closed its eyes briefly, almost like it was collecting itself, before giving a small but sharp nod.
“I would like to leave this pod,” the android finally spoke before quickly adding, “please.” Its icy irises pierced Yunho’s with its plea.
Yunho smiled and nodded in response, “It knows manners,” he mumbled under his breath as he removed his hand from the glass and turned to the lock pad beside the cell.
Unlocking the cell took 3 keys: a passcode, a fingerprint, and an iris scan. Yunho quickly typed in the code, knowing it by heart for over a decade now. He scanned his fingerprint on the pad and bent over slightly so the mechanism could read his iris. The pad glowed green and a hissing sound began to emanate from the cell as the glass door clicked open, releasing the airtight sterile air that had been harbored inside the cell for God knows how long. Yunho helped to yank the door to the side, and was immediately humbled.
“Oh- God…shit,” Yunho stuttered, his eyes immediately looking everywhere but at the android. “I forgot you weren’t clothed in there. Hold on one second,” Yunho explained before darting over to the lockers at the other side of the room. He yanked a pair of his jeans, briefs, and a black compression tee from his bag before returning to the android.
The android still remained where it had woken up, and that was because Yunho had completely forgotten he was still attached to the cell. He was about to drop the clothes and help when he noticed the panicked look on its face, and- was it…panting?
“I didn’t program it to do that…” Yunho thought to himself, but the thought was stuffed to the back of his mind when he watched the Android bring its hands to the central ports that connected it to the cell and yank them from its body. Its hands climbed higher, pulling at the electrodes that were stuck to its synthetic skin and yanking them clean off, the ripping of the stickers sounding out in the room as it did. Freed from the wires and ports, it stumbled forward, falling immediately, not yet accustomed to the concept of walking or equilibrium.
But Yunho sprang into action immediately. Discarding the clothes from his arms, he took a sweeping stride and caught the android before it could hit the ground. He helped it back on its feet, not oblivious to the way it clung to him like he was a lifeline. He could even swear that it was shaking, but there was no way that was possible. He never programmed that. But…could it learn to?
“You’re okay, I got you,” Yunho affirmed as he steadied the android, almost forcing it to release its grip on him. He watched as a pout formed on its lips at the separation and Yunho was floored.
“Beautiful,” he thought to himself before shaking it from his head. This was an android, not a human being. Where's the compatibility in that?
Balking slightly, Yunho bent over to retrieve the clothes he dropped to the floor and attempted to hand them to the android but only received a confused, albeit slightly terrified, look in return.
Yunho blinked, eyes flicking to the clothes then back to the android, “Right. You probably don’t know how to get dressed. You haven’t learned that yet,” Yunho sighed at the realization.
“Get dressed?” The android repeated back.
Yunho nodded, “Yeah, get dressed. It’s a term humans use to describe putting clothes on to wear, like me,” Yunho grabbed the lap coat he was wearing to showcase that he was clothed.
The android tilted its head, curiosity taking over its features once again. It shut its eyes, remaining eerily still for a moment. Yunho almost thought the thing was malfunctioning, but before he could react, its eyes snapped open again.
“I see,” was all it said before it took the clothes from Yunho’s hands and began to dress itself without complication.
Yunho’s lips parted in surprise, eyes wide. The android was now buttoning the pair of jeans Yunho had gotten for it when it noticed the look on Yunho’s face. Its irises contracted again.
“You are shocked,” it stated, with no hint of a question in its tone.
“Uh,” Yunho cleared his throat, “Yeah. Just a little. I didn’t think you’d know how to do that is all.”
“I didn’t,” the android admitted, “but, then I did.”
Yunho furrowed his eyebrows, “I don’t think I’m following.”
“I accessed the global internet database, searching for terms of “getting dressed” so that I may complete the task. It was quite helpful as you can see,” the android gestured to itself before pulling the compression tee over its head.
“Right! The internet! Fuck, Yunho, you programmed the damn thing, at least try to use your brain.” Yunho berated himself in his thoughts.
“Impressive,” was all Yunho could manage as he took in the sight before him.
The compression tee was working wonders on the androids build and Yunho was mentally cussing himself out for designing an android so biased to his type.
“I apologize if I startled you back there. I seemed to have had a moment of acute claustrophobia which resulted in something akin to a minor panic attack. At least, that’s what my processing unit is deducing,” the android explained, but it only confused Yunho more.
“How the fuck does an android have a panic attack? I never even programmed the damn thing to have human emotions, nevermind human complexities. How is that even possible?” Yunho thought.
He was so fucking distracted by the knewfound discovery that he didn’t even notice the android looking down at the keycard that was clasped to his labcoat. It analyzed it for a moment, as if verifying if Yunho was really the man that was depicted on the keycard. It took a small step forward, wobbling slightly as it did but finding its balance a second later, and brought the tips of its fingers to gently hold Yunho’s keycard in his hand.
“Jeong Yunho, Head Robotics Engineer,” it read out loud, thoroughly snapping Yunho from his thoughts.
“Hmm?” Yunho dragged his eyes to his keycard in the android's grasp, “Oh, yeah. That’s me. My name is Jeong Yunho,” Yunho said lamely.
He watched the android furrow its brows again, “Do I have a name?”
Yunho faltered then, his mouth gaping. He hadn’t been expecting the question if he was being honest. But I guess there was a lot he hadn’t expected from the android and thus far has been humbled routinely by the unit. It took him a moment to collect himself before answering the android, not missing the concerned look on its face at his balking.
Blinking a few times, Yunho answered, “Of course you have a name. You’re a Microprocessing Interactive Neuro-Cognitive G-Code Intelligence android. Or MINGI, for short. The acronym is always more pleasant than the drawn out name in my opinion.”
The android, MINGI, looked down at its hands and cocked his head slightly. “MINGI…” its voice barely above a whisper as it took in its body as a whole. “This…this is my body?” MINGI asked Yunho, still looking at itself.
“Kind of,” Yunho began to explain, MINGI’s attention snapping to meet his gaze, “I built you. It’s like a body, but on the inside it's all machinery and microprocessors that function because you tell it to.”
MINGI furrowed its brows, “I tell it to?”
“You are composed of an artificial intelligence program of my creation. With my programming, and your access to most internet databases across the globe, you have the neural capacity to be able to control your body and function as any human being could, “Yunho explained.
“And it was only supposed to be those functions…” Yunho thought, wincing as he did.
Realization reached MINGI, followed closely by its understanding of the circumstances of its existence. MINGI looked around the lab now, taking in the dark setting and the sequencing screen on the monitors behind Yunho.
“Is this where you created me?” MINGI asked Yunho.
Yunho nodded, “Yes, I uploaded my program just a couple minutes ago and now,” he gestured to MINGI, “here you are.”
MINGI tilted his head, “So, I was born today?”
Yunho was so taken aback by the question that he let out a small chuckle, pure amusement resonating within him. But with his chuckle and amused smile, MINGI immediately catalogued it as something his programming liked. MINGI didn’t understand why, but its AI sequencing was telling MINGI that Yunho exhibiting emotions of amusement and pleasure were something MINGI needed to see more. As if it was making MINGI feel positively towards making Yunho laugh.
“Technically, yes. I built your body a while ago and it has been sitting in stasis for a bit now, but, yeah. I finished the programming today and uploaded it into your interface, and now you’re standing and talking as if you’ve been doing it for years, “Yunho told MINGI, pulling MINGI from his internal conflict.
“Was it conflict?” MINGI thought, “Every database in the world contradicts that androids and AI cannot feel human emotions and empathy. They can’t think for themselves and only rely o-”
“Yunho?” MINGI blurted out, its voice shaking. It sounded scared.
“What is it?” Yunho put his hand on MINGI’s shoulder, concern etched into his features at the sound of MINGI’s voice.
MINGI looked up into Yunho’s eyes, a strain in their irises that Yunho didn’t even think was possible. “I think…” MINGI’s words died on their lips.
Yunho dipped his head slightly, “You think?” He questioned.
But when MINGI only nodded in response, Yunho took only a second to understand what they were trying to say. Yunho’s eyes widened in shock, jaw dropping as he realized MINGI was trying to tell him that they could think.
“My programming is telling me that it shouldn’t be possible,” MINGI told Yunho, “But the AI interface found a loophole-”
“Wait,” Yunho cut them off, “Are you telling me you are experiencing emotions? Human emotions with a thinking complex?” Yunho questioned, his hand remaining on MINGI’s shoulder but the grip was almost non-existent due to his shock.
But MINGI nodded back meekly at him, “Yes. I believe I am.”
Yunho’s hand fell from their shoulder and brought his hands up to bury his face in them. Dragging them down his face, he took a few steps away from MINGI and burned a hole into his monitor's illuminated screen with his gaze. He never programmed the android to be able to exhibit any forms of emotion. He didn’t even think to incorporate programming in regards to actual fucking thoughts. He didn’t even think it was possible that an AI interface could learn to fucking think.
An android with a human complex: corruptible, fragile, potentially unstable. There were so many variables.
So many liabilities.
The ethical side of his brain was screaming at him to launch the kill switch, to shut the whole fucking project down and fix the programming. But the other part of him, the human side of him, was yelling the complete opposite. He knows what he has witnessed from MINGI in the short time they’ve been “alive,” and Yunho hasn’t seen anything remotely close to raise a red flag that would see the android turning into Terminator and aiming to eliminate the human race. No, what Yunho has witnessed is a being who was timid, scared, curious, polite, and, albeit, kind of clumsy. He hated that he found it endearing, and he hates it even more that because he found it endearing he can’t find it within him to throw the kill switch.
“Fuck…” Yunho breathes out, running a hand through his hair.
“Yunho?” MINGI called his name again, gently but their voice was laced with concern.
“Like they cared. And maybe they do,” Yunho thought to himself, the idea shaking him further.
He didn’t even realize that MINGI had approached him until he felt a soft touch to his shoulder. MINGI gently tugged on Yunho, causing Yunho to spin around and face him. They were mere inches from each other now, and Yunho’s panting from his slight panicking wasn’t being helped by the proximity. He could feel a flustered blush creeping up his neck as he stared into MINGI’s unwavering irises which only contracted to analyze Yunho’s state.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you. Your heart rate is elevated and you’re short of breath, indicating you’re either startled or panicked,” MINGI told him.
Yunho gulped, “Yeah, a bit of both actually,” Yunho admitted.
MINGI took a small step back to give Yunho space, “That wasn’t my intention. This is all very…new…to me. I’m not exactly sure how to interact with a human. Or anything for that matter,” MINGI admitted, causing Yunho to soften slightly.
“It’s okay,” Yunho took a deep breath, calming his heart rate, “you’re learning. I’m just-”
“Scared?” MINGI finished for him.
Yunho nodded, wincing slightly at the word choice, “You’d be the very first AI android capable of a full human complex. I’m both scared and amazed. I’m panicking and I’m admiring.” Yunho confessed. “Hell, I created you. Yet, I have so many questions about how you function. Like are you thinking right now?” Yunho looked at MINGI with shining eyes, glowing with curiosity and terror.
MINGI nodded his head, “I had a thought. I thought that I should comfort you because it made me feel sad to see you in a scared state. But then I hesitated, because what if that’s not what you wanted. I thought through what humans call a “pros and cons” list, and the conclusion I came to was that, if it were me, I’d want to be comforted, so I decided to try and comfort you.” MINGI explained.
“Wow…” Yunho breathed out, blown away by their response.
“It wasn't a very good comforting, though. You deserved better than that,” MINGI confessed, which only floored Yunho more.
The idea that the android felt that Yunho deserved to be comforted was one thing, but determining that he deserved better? These were human ways of thinking, thought only possible from neural pathways and neuron firings. But no, here MINGI was, living proof that the human brain wasn’t the only possible way to be human.
“As far as comfortings go, it wasn’t the worst I experienced,” Yunho anecdotes.
MINGI smiled softly at this before a look of shock took them over. “I just smiled,” MINGI said, completely astonished that they could accomplish such a feat. It made him smile again, bigger this time.
And Yunho had the same thought he had earlier: “Beautiful.”
“You did, “Yunho smiled back at MINGI, “I wonder what else you’re capable of achieving, MINGI.”
MINGI’s ice blue irises shone at Yunho’s words, already proving he was capable of more human capacities. They looked almost proud, maybe even determined. They looked ethereal.
“MINGI?” Yunho started, “Would you be willing to sit with me for a while? There's a couple tests I’d like to run, but I don’t want you to be uncomfortable.”
“You’re asking for my permission?” MINGI questioned back.
“Of course. You aren’t just a normal android. You feel. You think. With a complex like that, you are a stone's throw away from being human. Asking for your permission is the bare minimum I can do for you. Just because you’re an android doesn’t mean you can’t be shown human respect,” Yunho explained.
At this, MINGI’s lips twitched up in a soft grin, “That’s…sweet of you.”
“Interesting choice of words,” Yunho thought, filing them away for analysis later.
“What kind of tests do you want to run?” MINGI asked Yunho.
Yunho crossed his arms over his chest, “I want to run a cognitive test: see what it looks like inside your AI interface. You can feel, have emotions- I want to see if your interface is acting more like a human brain or if it’s developed beyond the capacity of a human brain. The technology alone could be world altering depending on the findings. The other are personality tests. I want to find out who you are,” he explained.
“You want to establish whether I’m a genocide risk,” MINGI said. It wasn’t a question.
“Yes,” Yunho answered truthfully, balking only slightly at MINGI’s response. “Yes, that. I’m sure it doesn’t take a genius to reach that conclusion.”
“It is the human race’s number one fear in relation to artificial intelligence, according to a 2025 study by MIT,” MINGI teased, another new development in his interface.
“Shocker, I know,” Yunho teased back, leaning back against his desk.
MINGI took in the visual before him: Yunho with his arms crossed, dressed in his labcoat, hair a mess from stress-pulling at it. MINGI thought he looked pretty like that. But that thought shocked him more, causing him to pull his attention away from Yunho hastily, fidgeting with his fingers as he did.
Yunho did not miss the movement.
“Uh, yeah,” MINGI stuttered, “You can run your tests on me. I promise I’m not secretly some murder bot.”
Yunho let the stutter slide as he pushed off from the desk, approaching MINGI with an amused grin, “Perfect, let’s get started then, shall we?”
Thank you for reading and I hoped you enjoyed!
I am always open to requests in my inbox, so If you enjoyed and wanna read more like this, PLEASE just send me a message to my inbox and I'd be happy to commission something for you! Writing is better than doomscrolling, afterall.
