I had anxiety a few nights ago over voltron/keith and finally think I figured out why, stupid rambling under the cut
First off haven’t seen season six and I’m probably anxious about all the shit that’s gonna happen and this is just making things worse BUT
I’m always so surprised by ppl who say they don’t like Lance (yes I know I said this was about keith GIVE ME A SECOND) cause in my anxiety colored lens Lance would be the friend, if not also someone who deals with anxiety. Yes he’s over the top and a little obnoxious and FLIRTS FAR TOO MUCH but I look at that and see a TRYING TO FIT IN front. I have been that person I have KNOWN those persons, those persons were the kids who told me their parents spanked them mercilessly if they got bad grades. The kid who told me his favorite color was pink but he couldn’t say that to the other kids. The kid who still chatted with me even tho most of the class made fun of me. THAT KID WAS ME TRYING TO BE FUNNY AT A CAMP CAUSE I’D LIED AND SAID I WAS THE JOKEY FRIEND. Lance is kind, lance is smart, lance is hardworking, and Lance is desperately trying to be useful or relevant. And that RESONATES with me so hard.
So when someone says they don’t like Lance but their fav is Keith I get very confused.
Keith hurts. Like not that he hurts other ppl ( tho haha stabby keith) but like he hurts to care about for me. I love him, I was like SUPER DISTRESSED when he chose to go be in the blade of malmora and not be with the Paladins anymore. I want him around, I want him safe, I want him happy. but caring about him makes my chest ache
and while I sitll don’t totally get why, I think I might have figured it out
Keith is the “cool kid”
He’s conventionally attractive, broody, HYPER SKILLED, and REFUSES to get close to anyone but the friends (LBR JUST SHIRO) he’s deemed acceptable. Lance isn’t acceptable. I’m not acceptable. He would hate me. He would treat my interests with disgust. So it hurts to care. Cause he wouldn’t care about me. Oh he’d self sacrifice for the greater good. But other than ARE YOU ALIVE he wouldn’t CARE
The only person I’ve ever seen him care about is Shiro. And that’s scary and SAD. I DON’T GET IT REALLY. WHY THE WRITERS NEVER FUCKING HAD HIM BOND WITH ANYONE ELSE. LIKE FUCK. BOY COULD HAVE 4 AMAZING FRIENDS AND A WEIRD UNCLE BUT INSTEAD HE’S JUST LIKE, I MUST GO ALONE AND BE STOIC AND SAD.
and I GET that he could very well be presenting anxiety too, and I think that’s why I get him and care despite it hurting. I GET that he hates himself to a degree and is on this ridiculous quest to find himself. But in the process of all his bullshit he just hurts everyone around him?!?!?!! He doesn’t HAVE to like lance but he doesn’t even give Lance the TIME OF DAY. He’s barely even polite!! (not that Lance is a whoooole lot better but jfc) He maroons himself and the princess distressing and hurting the whole team. His only goal when he was the black lion was to find shiro AND I GET that Shiro’s basically a family member to him but like SHIT DUDE YOU GOTTA THINK OF THE WHOLE TEAM AND THE BETTERMENT OF THE GALAXY. And then when they have “shiro” back he’s like WELP NO ONE WANTS ME HERE SO IMMA GO TO MALMORA TO LIKE FIND MYSELF I GUESS. and finding yourself is all well and good but he’s like NO ONE CARES ABOUT ME WHICH IS SUCH. FUCKING. BULLSHIT. LIKE DUDE, THESE IDIOTS ALL CARE ABOUT YOU SO MUCH. IF YOU JUST STOPPED RUNNING AROUND LIKE A CRAZY PERSON LOOKING FOR SHIRO AND SELF FULFILMENT MAYBE BECOMING CLOSER WITH UR PALADIN FRIENDS WOULD!! BE!!! FULFILLING!!!!!
But yeah, I think it’s just. He reminds me of the kids in school who were hot and “cool” who wouldn’t give me the time of day and didn’t like me and or bullied me. So when you say you’re fav is keith I’m just like HAHAHA SO YOU LIKE PAIN AND UNATTAINABLE APPROVAL????!?!
ugh -flops- and again this isn’t ALL OF IT there’s something else (probably tied into my whole deal with self sacrifice ever since I read xxxholic) but this is what I figured out after stressing about it.
I want to care about him, I want to help him, but I know he doesn’t want it, wouldn’t care about me, and is too up his own issues to try and be friends with anyone.
AND!!! AS ALWAYS!!!! YOU ARE MORE THAN FREE TO HATE MY OPINION, AND LIKE KEITH. NO EXPLANATIONS NEEDED. YOU ARE VALID, HE IS A GOOD SWEET BOY.
I just feel like crying when I think about him and I’m desperately trying to figure out why