The word baleful is rarely used to describe the actions of a man. It is similarly too beautiful and powerful to do so and the spoken races of Eorzea are often lacking in both areas. Typically, we reserve it for things that are not fully explored - Magic and corrupted crystals for example.
The most common place you'll find this word is in dealing with the works of Voidsent. Be it the baleful glare of an Ahriman, the baleful seduction of a Succubus, the baleful bile of Flans, in literature relating to Voidsent, that is a very common word.
So when my own actions were given that tag of 'baleful', I balked momentarily. Now, I don't pretend that my methods are nice - typically, if the Tower needs me, they don't need me to talk to people. They need me so whatever is in front of them is put out of commission, and they can't just throw fire from the sky to do so.
I might not have the proper training of an Ala Mhigan monk, but I've learned enough about the human body by putting myself through some real dumb stuff and by guarding caravans assailed by bandits. Not typically the kind of people who'll hang back if you give them the opportunity.
The point being, my goals may be altruistic or protective in nature, but my methods? They sure aren't. Or weren't, I should say.
It's never been difficult for me to divide the two. Not so much the ends justify the means - After all, if that were the case, then Mhach would be justified. However, that which does not dive in the realm of Voidsent or other corruptive forces was more justifiable.
Being called 'baleful', to me, was the mark that nothing I do would be justified. That associating with me in any way was the same as associating with Voidsent in any way.
I balked because Voidsent and I have a history. I could never see myself on their level as even were I to become immortal, it would be impossible for me to spread suffering and pain that would come close to their level. Someone, however, believed I could be better. Multiple someones, but only one told me.
Yet, as I move along the path of Blue Magic, I find myself confronted with this 'baleful' mark once more, as there are spells from Voidsent that must be mastered. No matter how innocent the spell, their provenance gives me the same hesitation. As I learn more, however, it is to my dismay that Voidsent are... about as natural as anything else in this world. They manifest, they do what they must to survive, and when you kill them, they return to whatever world of darkness they came from. Much like we creatures do when we die, only we return to something less corruptive.
Perhaps this baleful mark was more educational than I thought.
