#kerol talks

[bisexual-berry]

turns out my ROCD is alive and kicking and I'm very tired and it's making ME want to KICK the bucket

[bisexual-berry]

tumblr sometimes seems like the only place on the internet where I can be honestly me and sad and still get human interaction 🤪

[bisexual-berry]

having anxiety is just like having that butterfly with the 'this action will have consequences' text from life is strange pop up in your brain but with like every action

[bisexual-berry]

One of the worst things about having an obsessive brain is that it’s not just the life-ruining intrusive thoughts, even when I’m doing “well” if something upsets me a little bit more it’s gonna be playing on my brain 24/7. It’s the thing someone said, why they might have said it, what it means in the grand scheme of things in my life and in that particular relationship, what I should say about it, how I should feel about it. I’ll do an entire analysis of the situation, and then when I’m done I’ll go do something else and the second I get distracted my brain will go “hey remember that thing that happened? Better analyse the whole thing again!” Why? Just cause. Just cause it says so. Just to solve it, whatever the fuck that means. Just to close that mental cycle and get that sense of “there, it’s done”, just so my brain can immediatly go “but, is it?”

[bisexual-berry]

ocd is so funny like I went to my gfs house to check on her cats and made a joke about stealing a R$20 bill I saw lying around on a text I sent her. Then I got on the bus on my way home and took out my R$20 bill to pay. I knew I had gotten it out of the bank earlier this month, I remembered using the ATM, taking it out, leaving the bank, etc and even though all of that was in my mind my ocd went sure but what if you did steal it from her house and just blocked the memory out? And I went you know what buddy maybe I did. Sometimes you just gotta laugh at the little crazy dude inside your brain

[bisexual-berry]

thinking about Jennette McCurdy and let me tell you people who don't have mother trauma do NOT get it. Try telling someone you hate your mom. You never hear the end of it. And even people who don't tell you directly "oh but she's your mom" will ask you a million questions about what could she have possibly done, trying to do the emotional math in their heads to see if your hatred is warranted, or my personal favorite, they will tell you the most batshit abusive anecdotes about their moms and end it with something in the veins of "but I let it go cause she's my mother". To some people "mother" is an honorific title you get simply from birthing someone, one that exempts you from any culpability and it's exhausting to have those people project that onto your life

[bisexual-berry]

About meeee

Bisexual, in a relationship, 29, she/they, brazilian

I blog about anything

I reblog some nudity/sexual things and i talk about sex/sexuality in my tags sometimes so minors don't follow pleaseee

My personal tag is #kerol talks and everything is okay to reblog. My ass is very mentally ill so block that if you don't wanna hear about that sort of stuff, specially about ocd, but I don't use the tag too often I think

***** is my tag for art that inspires me to do my own. I have a dog tag! (And a dog button in the desktop version of the theme) It's literally #dog and has lots of cute pups if you need to see some dogs today

I try to tag mental health issues but you can ask me to tag anything you need <3

Terfs don't interact

[bisexual-berry]

I see your "changing a song's pronouns to make it straight" and raise you "changing a song's pronouns specifically to make it gay"