#actuallyocd

[aplpaca]

Pro tip! If u have OCD, that genre of advice stuff that's like "if youre questioning whether youre X, you probably are" is not for you and is in fact poison!!!

[filikisser]

everytime smone uses the 'letting the intrusive thoughts win' joke they should pay me and every other person w ocd $20

[the-indigo-symphony]

I haven't looked at actual stats for this, so this is just based on what I've seen on Tumblr, but I'm not surprised that so many autistic people also have OCD, especially moral OCD.

When you're constantly corrected on your own actions, intentions, and interpretations of the world, taught that any sentence you think is innocent can be horrifically offensive (and that you knew that even though you didn't), scolded for the way your disability affects you and accused of lying when you struggle, fuck, why wouldn't autistic people have "I'm terrified of doing something wrong and am desperate to comfort myself" disorder? I can't say a single sentence online without checking for how it could be misinterpreted or used as evidence that I have done something wrong, hurt someone, acted like the scum of the earth – I feel the need to put a disclaimer that OCD isn't just how I described it above, because I'm afraid that someone's going to be bothered by that simplistic description – because I know people aren't going to give me grace for clumsy words, even if they know I'm autistic, even if they know part of my autism is wording things clumsily.

And I'm not surprised autistic burnout is such a common problem, either. When autistic people check over their words like this, they're expending energy to accommodate intolerance and ignorance from others. Even for fully verbal autistic people, that's going to take a toll.

That's part of why I like tone tags and just stating the tone like (genuine), I think. People will ask "Why don't you just add a sentence telling people what your tone is?" and the answer is that those sentences also get misinterpreted! Those sentences also get scanned for tone and intent to hurt that isn't there! So that's another sentence that I have to check over and over and over again so people don't read it and think I'm the scum of the earth! Just let me have my fucking tone indicators!! At least I know if someone ignores those that they're being an ableist prick and not just acting "normally" towards me, sure to get all the sympathy if I get frustrated that I can't say even a single sentence naturally without people hating or "correcting" me for it! Because yeah, it's not nice to pick on autistic people, but I'm just an asshole on the internet who didn't cover all possible nuances and sounded a little too snarky, which means it's okay to be a bitch to me!

It's always on me to watch and change my words, on me to play 3D chess in conversations to anticipate outcomes I don't understand, on me to get over my distress so I can "properly" apologize for inevitably fucking up the simplest of fucking conversations no matter how rude the other party was being, and never on others to give me any grace or apologies for my literal fucking disability. It's really no wonder that I'm always worried that I'm going to say something wrong and unforgivable – according to ableism, I am. And the only way for me to move forward from that is to accept that I am only as much of an asshole as the people who put me in this position in the first place.

Still, I'm so fucking tired. I just want to make a shitpost or point out a pattern I've seen or correct some misinformation without people calling for my head if I choose not to work overtime to make it look like I don't actually have a disability they claim to accept. For the love of fuck can I please just be allowed to chill. Please.

[defectivegembrain]

I also feel like sometimes people on here forget or don't realise that having intrusive thoughts is not in itself inherently indicative of any disorder. Like it's normal to get them sometimes. It's about the frequency and intensity, and most crucially, how you react to them. And disordered reactions can very much be things other than OCD.

[wheelie-sick]

people seem to forget that even people with contamination OCD are often not clean....? and in fact their OCD can make things dirtier....?

it seems counter intuitive but contamination OCD can result in really, really dirty environments.

hi I have contamination OCD and one of my biggest obsessions is mold! I go to extreme lengths to avoid mold! and I just spent an hour cleaning real, not imagined mold out of my bathroom! how did that happen!? how did it get that bad!? it's really simple! my OCD made me avoid mold which meant avoid cleaning the mold which meant the mold got worse which made it harder to clean the mold.

the increasing distress at the mold meant very little until it got me to the point of breakdown where the mold was finally bad enough that my avoidance of it was a weaker force than my need to get rid of it.

I do this a lot.

I bounce between obsessively getting rid of anything that could possibly be moldy or get moldy in the next week and avoiding disgustingly moldy food because I can't touch it. usually I'm doing both. the mold causes me distress but the distress of dealing with it once it's there is greater than the distress of having it there. I solve this by obsessively preventing mold to the point of self destruction.

I have a completely disrupted relationship with food and my environment that makes things infinitely worse for myself because I'm constantly operating in both directions. my environment gets worse while I further restrict myself and destroy myself to try to prevent it but I can't just.... fix my environment? because that would involve interacting with mold.

I live in mold hell 🙃 help

[ruggedrookie]

i once again need to yell abt the ocd rep in the batman unburied universe so here's some quotes i think about a LOT (from unburied s1 and r:sitd), as an ocd haver who loves the riddler and loves it when his ocd is actually written realistically and respectfully (obvious disclaimer that whilst this is accurate to MY experience, it doesn't necessarily mean it's accurate to yours, ocd is a wide range of experiences, etc etc). these r all direct quotes from the episodes themselves

from batman unburied episode 4:

BARBARA: And you have that terrible, all-consuming-pathology which compels you to find answers. RIDDLER: And I have that terrible, all-consuming-pathology that compels me to find answers. Yes.

and also (same episode):

BARBARA: It’s a leap. RIDDLER: Yes. But... I know a little something about compulsion. BARBARA: I guess you do. (beat) I’m gonna need some scotch tape and talcum powder.

from riddler secrets in the dark (i don't have the episode number on hand; i paused and rewound to transcribe this myself whilst listening in early 2024 and it's been sitting in my notes ever since):

RIDDLER: I can't just walk away. Because I have this stupid fucking tightness in my chest that feels like I might die if I leave a riddle unsolved- BATMAN: That doesn't make any sense. RIDDLER: Of course it doesn't make any sense! It's a fucking compulsion! You of all people should know that! You're just as crazy as I am!

there are absolutely more examples (i remember smthn abt him compulsively telling a riddle then asking barbara to ignore it and pretend it didn't happen, but i can't find a transcript and don't remember which episode it was) but i can't find the transcripts rn and don't have them on hand so this is all i can post for now. just know i was literally actively fistpumping in victory on my college commute listening to this shit

[zupawama]

i am once again asking people i know to do actual research on OCD and what it is b/c i saw someone equating POCD to actual predatory shit recently and i think im going to break out of my enclosure . OCD is not about “subconscious desires” it’s about fear. fears, aversions and repulsions, both subconscious and conscious. OCD forces you to obsess over things that make you anxious, scared, uncomfortable, or disgusted. possibilities (about yourself, your future, your loved ones and their futures, etc) that would give you nightmares if you considered them for too long.  literally the second you start thinking OCD may be about “subconscious desires” you have lost. you made an immediate left turn when you were supposed to make a right and now you’re on a completely different road. this applies to all forms of OCD by the way, even the most “disgusting”, taboo or “disturbing”. whichever form of OCD you’re thinking may be an exception to this rule, is not an exception. b/c there is none

[melancholicvnt]

who else up ruining everything