If you had the ability to see into people’s lives, to really know them without even saying a word to each other, would you? If their eyes told their stories and one gaze was like turning through page after page of a book with as many pages as years they have been on this earth, would that change how you treat them? If at your first meeting, you were able to know all of their hardships, all of their faults, all of their heartbreaks and baggage and quirks, would it matter?
The woman with the mismatched socks on the train isn’t approached because she must be a little weird, a little off. The man with the leather vest is steered clear from, because obviously he’s a rebel, or he’s in some sort of biker gang like in the movies. The boy is laughed at because he wears pink, and pink is for girls, so he is beaten and called names for wearing a different color than expected. Loser. Weirdo. Freak.
So if you were to judge your attraction toward casual conversation with things such as clothing, would it really make a difference if you knew their entire story? The woman wears mismatched socks because they have holes in them, and the good socks are on her child’s feet. The man with the leather vest is one of the kindest men you would have ever met, with many wise thoughts to share. The boy wears pink because his mother has breast cancer.
What are you accomplishing by avoiding them? Do you think you are protecting yourself? From what? Losers? Weirdos? Freaks? If you took a look into their story, would you approach them then? With sorrow? Pity? Charity? What if their stories were slightly different?
The woman wears mismatched socks because she likes to. The man wears a leather vest because he likes to. The boy wears pink because he likes to. Do your thoughts change once again?
If you had the ability to see into people’s lives, to really know them without even saying a word to each other, would you? Would it make a difference, or would your preconceived opinions of their appearance already make up your mind?
Why is someone’s worth or role in your life a selective thought based on why and what they can do for you? Why is it about how they will make you feel, and not how you could make them feel? What if that woman wearing mismatched socks got dressed in the dark and had no idea. You approach her and tell her and she’s so embarrassed, so you tell her it’s cute and she buys you a coffee. Does that change your mind on approaching her, because you get something out of it?
Why are there no interactions that result in simply being kind to a stranger? Why do you always have to get something out of an interaction to decide that it has worth, that another human has worth to you?
- Kerri Smith (4/23/2020)
