Fear of something beyond an emotional/physical affair between girlfriend (38F) and new friend (36M)
Does anyone else struggle with this? I’ll start by saying that I (42 M) have a lot of self awareness of my anxious attachment. It’s something I’m working on and been in therapy for on and off for years. At the same time, my past has taught me that my instincts are usually correct in these situations. I’m currently dating a woman (38F) for about 5 months now who has a lot of outdoor hobbies where she meets new friends often (both men and women). I think a lot of men might worry that their girlfriend will cheat physically or emotionally in this scenario. That doesn’t concern me whatsoever. I’m more scared of the possibility of her making a deeper friendship/connection that could turn into more. A new friendship with a man who is good (not a creep just trying to steel her from me or get in her pants). I imagine this guy has a lot of my qualities, he’s respectful, charismatic, kind, smart, successful, and they have their mutual outdoor hobby in common. It starts as a friendship and over time she catches feelings and realizes she loves this guy. Like she found her soulmate while she’s dating me. This fear is debilitating. She met a new guy (36M) recently and they connected on Instagram. She talked about him like he’s a great guy and seems interested in making plans to do this outdoor hobby with him. I’m too old to be still worrying about this but also I believe I’m a very intuitive person and when I was married I correctly anticipated an emotional affair developing between my ex wife and her coworker. Predicted it was gonna happen and sure enough it did. I feel the same gut instinct about this guy and my new girlfriend.
Are these types of thought patterns common for you? Because honey, this kinda sounds like some sort of OCD or other disordered thinking. Have you ever considered therapy? At the very least, you go to therapy and get to talk to an objective third party for a few sessions, right? Might as well try it.