do you genuinely believe Tony was a father figure for Harley, or is it that you wanted him to be? Because I personally don’t think Tony was in any way a father figure to Harley, at best that uncle you see once a year at reunion.
Hello!
I’m going to assume we are talking in just MCU cannon. Since fanfic and AUs are a completely different subject entirely, and are well known for not following cannon and being whatever you want it to be. (Marvel comics themselves are also very very different worlds depending on the run)
Harley himself is such an interesting character to play with because there’s so little we actually know about him and the relationship he held with Tony outside of what we see in the movies.
Breaking it down into what we know for sure, we know that they met when Harley was 10, had the whole Mandarin Scandal, Tony left him some cool stuff, and then… nothing.
…Until years later, when we see him at Tony’s funeral.
(I won’t mention the Spiderman Marvel Comic run made for the parks, since that is a different universe, but in those we actively see Harley and Peter fighting over who is Tony’s true mentee)
But if they hadn’t interacted since Harley was 10, why would he be invited to the funeral? Maybe he occasionally called but atleast Pepper would have had to know who he is to invite him. Maybeee Friday did but Tony thinking about Harley before the battle to tell his AI to send a funeral invite is a little wavery to me. (Assuming they don’t have a strong relationship)
It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to say that Tony had a kid he barely knew and hasn’t interacted with in years invited to his funeral above saying that there was at least a little relationship built there.
It is possible that they reconnected in the snap, given you believe Harley didn’t blip. Personally,,, given the way he looks age-wise and the age of the actor I like to think he did blip, but it’s neither here nor there for me. Maybe he didn’t, maybe Tony reached out to Harley after the guilt he felt with Peter, but even then that’s a relationship built.
So now that we’ve logically assumed they had to have some kind of relationship beyond just the Mandarin accident, (And what’s really the difference between a weird somewhat-present uncle and busy pseudo-father?) let’s get into the emotions of it all.
For Tony, he’s the prime reluctant father character. Slotted perfectly with Joel from Tlou and Mando from The Mandolorian. It’s not his choice but troubled kids soak up to him like a sponge of repressed trauma, daddy-issues, and snarky comebacks. He’s done it with Peter, you can argue with Nebula too. It’s funny, it’s entertaining, it’s him.
Now you might be saying “Key, the way he talked to Harley wasn’t very fatherly” yeahhhh. Yeah. He wasn’t, like, ready for a kid. Thats like only watching episode 1 of tlou and saying Joel wasn’t a father figure for Ellie. The interaction we see is short and Tony was only at the beginning of his fatherly journey.
Now let’s move onto Harley.
The kid has daddy issues out the wazoo who are we kidding? Case closed
Hmm? Okay fine. (That’s is a huge part tho, he is fatherless and needs that spot filled). Not having a father is very much a sore spot for Harley in IM3. He mentions his father leaving in a very practiced joke-format the same way one uses humor to deflect painful memories and things that cut too deep. He wants a father. He obviously also really connected to Tony too. (“We’re connected” being a clear line). Talking in a story/writing perspective, Tony was meant to play as a father-figure to Harley in the movie. Why highlight Harley not having a dad if Tony wasn’t supposed to represent that? I’m not sure if Harley would’ve ever voiced it but I would like to think that deep down that 10 year old wanted Tony to talk to him and interact with him like nothing else. He wanted Tony to stay. (And it’s Iron Man what 10 year old wouldn’t want that?)
So, we’ve cemented that there is more chance a relationship was built than not, that Tony’s the type to become a father-figure to smart snarky fatherless kids, and Harley the type to want a father in Tony. It’s not crazy to connect dots and say Tony is a father figure to Harley.
But my favorite part of this whole thing?: It doesn’t really matter (lol).
To answer your question directly: do I, personally, think Tony is a father figure to Harley ? In a way, yes. In a way, no. The MCU doesn’t really answer that so it’s super open to interpretation. You can find many many possibilities on both sides that would fit nicely into cannon. To be honest with you, I don’t really care that much about MCU cannon as much as I like playing with the endless possibilities of universes outside of 616/199999.
Do I want him to be? Absolutely. 100%. I love them, your honor. I think it makes the MCU world (and Tony) more rich and complicated and interesting. I think it ties things in well. I love the way it begs their characters to be studied and moved. I’ll write fanfic on fanfic on headcannon of them being father and son.
If it makes you happier to see them as wierd eccentric distant uncle and nephew, or as nothing but two people who once crossed paths, then that’s okay!! (The uncle-nephew is actually mad funny so thank you for that imagination fodder)
Anyway if you actually read all of this, I applaud your dedication to listening to other points of view and getting through my free write of thoughts. Hopefully it at least provided some insight into why Tony&Harley is somewhat popular. <3