rhaenyra and alicent developed vastly different parenting styles because they had vastly different childhoods, and i don't think one should be dragged over the other bc motherhood is a deeply personal experience. rhaenyra was raised in a place of neglect, her father wasn't there for there bc she wasn't a male heir (she shows signs of that neglect the first episode) and he stole her mother from her by murdering her in childbirth. rhaenyra felt unloved and felt unwanted and so unsure of herself and it was only until years later when she was an adult that he truly repented for aemma's death and his neglect of rhaenyra. that's why rhaenyra was such a doting, affectionate and assuring mother, because she did not want her children to feel unwanted or unloved as she had, and that is why she fought so hard for the realm not to talk about them being bastards, bc that was a stemming from a place of being hated and unwanted, and that was what rhaenyra had felt in her childhood. she raised them to be sweet, kind, diplomatic and valuing honor bc she wanted them to feel loved and cherished (something that came from aemma & the honor came from harwin).
i don't believe alicent was any less loving but she displayed her love in a different way. alicent was used as a pawn of her father, to achieve hightower influence in court and in the realm, she was used to be a breeding machine by viserys. and alicent did not want to see her children become pawns like she had, so she raised them to be quite independent (as shown by their attitudes in the show) and with a tougher kind of love than rhaenyra bc she didn't want them to be soft and malleable like she had been but it's obvious that she loves them so much (standing between aegon and meleys, her gentleness with helaena). and unlike rhaenyra's children, these children were born out of marital rape, so it was so much more emotionally and mentally straining on her in bearing these children because this was duty and marital rape while rhaenyra could afford unconditional love so easily.
rhaenyra and alicent were both very different mothers with very different childhoods and i think we should appreciate their differences and the dynamics with their children rather than drag the other down. both have their flaws in their parenting and decisions but both have their triumphs and it is obvious that they both love their children deeply.