#khaji-kai

[drpumpkinsart]

bugs! beetles!! 🐞🐞🐞

[tuxedoelf]

Fic for a really rare pair - a little Saint Walker/Khaji-Kai for @celebrusc! Inspired by her art: http://celebrusc.tumblr.com/post/136986471074/so-this-is-my-very-first-slashy-fanartyay-im

Fic: The Start Of Redemption

Attraction. It was a new feeling. Or perhaps it wasn't, but he didn't remember it, so it might as well be. It wasn't something he knew what to do with. All the information of hundreds of species but only what the Reach had deemed important. Feelings, emotions, had certainly not been included.

Rage, vengeance, dedication, that was all he had known for years. Rage and vengeance certainly wouldn't help him here. But maybe there was something in the last one.

He'd already seen what it was, when Saint Walker picked him up from a shard of rock after he blew up the Reach homeworld. He'd nursed him back to health, looked after him, always quiet, always respectful. It had been a shock. He knew who he was of course, you didn't quickly forget the one who'd returned your free will to you after millennia. But that Walker was willingly helping him, he couldn't - still didn't - understand it. He'd destroyed Odym, had led the attack. Walker should hate him.

He didn't.

"Why?" He'd asked once, when the silence had felt a little more comfortable than usual.

"We all deserve a second chance in life and your... crimes were not really of your making." Walker had replied. "You stopped, when you had the chance. Sacrificed yourself, to put things right."

And that had changed everything. There was guilt within him, more than he knew he could ever process. Too many deaths, too many civilisations lost to his hand. He still felt he should have been better, stronger, able to defeat the Scarab alone. Yet, with those simple assurances, Saint Walker had delivered what he was best known for. Hope.

"Thank you," he'd replied and then he'd smiled, for the first time in centuries.

Walker smiled back.

It had been so easy after that, to open up to him. To talk, to express his feelings. Feelings he didn't even know he had, feelings the scarab still demanded he repress, only now, he could ignore it. Walker didn't judge, not even when they spoke of Odym, though still refused to tell him the names of the Blue Lanterns who died that day. For both their sakes, he said.

There had still been tension, disagreements. He'd still been harbouring anger at his perceived abandonment by Jaime Reyes. He'd wanted to track him down, take revenge. Walker had refused to allow it.

“I have not met him,” he'd said, “though his name is known to me. He is not the kind to leave someone, I am quite sure. Most likely he believed you dead already.”

It made sense, but he hadn't wanted to believe it at first. He was used to acting on those feelings, to letting them guide him. Walker's more rational approach was new and incredibly difficult. Eventually though, he'd accepted that he was probably right, though it had been coupled with the promise of finding Jaime – to talk – when he was ready to approach it calmly.

Sometimes Walker was so calm it was almost impossible to believe that he was the same Lantern who'd faced him so bravely in a battle he'd never stood a chance of winning. Walker was calmness and patience personified. He was, he supposed, exactly the kind of person he needed to be around if he was ever going to reclaim his life.

Still, it had been a shock when he started to feel more. He hadn't recognised it, had needed to run scans to identify it. Once he had, he'd been terrified. He wasn't ready for that, wasn't sure he'd ever be. It wasn't something he identified with any more, certainly wasn't something the Reach ever engaged in. It was so base. So organic. So he hid it, waiting for it to go away.

They travelled together, once he was well enough. Walker showed him what he had never seen before - Civilisations thriving, peaceful and safe. He let him watch as he gave life to dying Suns and crumbling worlds. Saw that within this one Blue Lantern there was so much power - power that didn't come from being taken, but given freely by those who believed in him.

How could anyone not fall in love with that?

He still hid it though, he had to. He carried the blood of hundreds of worlds, he always would. Saint Walker deserved better, deserved the best. Even as weeks became months and months became years, he didn't dare give voice to what was growing within.

Until that one day, when they went back to Odym. The Reach had long since left, having stripped the planet bare. He'd seen that many times before. And yet, something miraculous was happening. The planet was recovering.

"How is this possible?" He asked, looking at the new life starting to spring up amongst the barren wastelands. It had never happened before. The Reach took everything, there was no way a recovery could spring from nothing.

"The battery was destroyed, yes, but hope does not fail so easily," Saint Walker explained. "What little remained stayed hidden, until the time was right. Now it burns again and does what hope has always done. Brings new life."

He'd cried. Tears hot and wet had fallen down his cheeks, surprising him with the feeling. Even the scarab had been silent. Something he'd destroyed was fighting back. Was growing and living despite him. He hadn't wanted to come here, but now he knew why Walker had insisted. "Thank you."

Walker nodded. "Sometimes we find what we need in the most unexpected of places, Khaji-Kai."

"So it would seem." The words might just have referred to Odym, but he'd known Walker a while now, had learned the way he spoke and inflected. He meant more. Turning, he faced Walker and dared to smile. It was still an odd look, half smile, half grimace. But he was getting there. "You do not mind that I..." He picked the words carefully, feeling scared and awkward... "Wish more from you?"

"Not in the least. I am touched that I was able to draw out the man beneath the scarab and see what a kind soul he is." Sitting near a patch of deep green grass, Walker offered his hand.

"That soul has many scars," he murmured, though he moved closer.

"All do and yes, perhaps yours more than most, but time heals as you have seen here." The hand remained outstretched. "Nor do we choose where our hearts find peace, but when they do, it is unwise to ignore it."

He'd reached out then, taken the hand that tugged gently, pulling him down until he rested in Walker's lap. That moment, he'd realise later, was his first real physical contact since before the scarab. Walker was gentle, yet unyielding, offering reassurance, comfort and so much more.

"Why?" He asked as he leaned in, looking down at Walker.

The answer was the same as the last time he'd asked the question, though the smile was softer, sweeter. "Because we all deserve a second chance."

END

[punishandenslavesuckers]

Khaji-Kai is creepin a bit. Jaime and Khaji-Da just need to steal another car and run.